


Christmas Meeting

by Beatrix_acs



Category: NCIS
Genre: Christmas, Czech Republic - Freeform, Domestic Fluff, European history, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, History, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Post-PPF, Prague, Praha - Freeform, Romance, Sightseeing, Smut, au season 13, season 13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:34:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 44
Words: 380,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24090640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beatrix_acs/pseuds/Beatrix_acs
Summary: Christmas 2015. Prague, Czech Republic. An unexpected meeting between two former co-workers after more than two years from their parting in Israel that will make them realize that their feelings towards each other are stronger than before. But will they do anything about it? And what does the future look like for them? AU Season 13. TIVA. Dedicated to my surrogate sister Athina.
Relationships: Ziva David & Anthony DiNozzo, Ziva David/Anthony DiNozzo
Comments: 18
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Story was posted on Fanfiction.net from 21th December 2015 to 20th July 2020.

_**** _

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 1** _

" _The whole visible world is, perhaps, nothing more than the rationalization of a man who wants to find peace for a moment. An attempt to falsify the actuality of knowledge, to regard knowledge as a goal still to be reached."_

He needed to get out. Out of D.C. Away from the people there. He just needed to be with himself, all by himself, for a few days. He needed to gather his energy to put up with all the annoying things that were currently happening in his life. The things that were eating at him from the inside, making him turn into a person he didn't recognize. It was all too much for him, and he just felt that changing his environment would be the best.

The situation he had been in was getting on his nerve. It was changing him, and he wanted stay as himself. But he was holding out, not wanting to let down the people who believed in him. However, the last straw was when he realized that he had completely forgotten about Christmas. The time of year he loved for its atmosphere, for the winter, and for the 'family spirit'. Because he finally didn't feel so alone.

But his enthusiasm was gone. Not entirely dead, but just buried under the pile of work-related problems. He was in no mood for the holidays. But when McGee pointed out that he had almost overlooked Halloween, already, he realized that something was terribly wrong. That was when he realized that he was just a shadow of himself. He was always the one who couldn't wait for the holidays to come, always making plans beforehand.

That was why he gratefully welcomed the Christmas holiday. He needed to get a part of his old self back. The childish excitement he'd always felt that he couldn't find. He needed to remind himself that the smell of cinnamon, gingerbread, nuts and vanilla should bring him into the festive mood. That he should plan what he buys for whom. To see the Christmas lights and turn into a five-year-old boy, dreaming of what Santa might bring him this year.

So, he packed his things and headed straight to the airport to get out of there. He had decided to take a well-deserved Christmas holiday and find the piece of him he'd apparently lost. He ruled out shallow destinations that seemed to be nice in comparison with the cold weather, such as Jamaica he'd visited before. He loved the Caribbean, but he could never find the right Christmas mood on a beach with a cocktail in his hand.

He ruled out all big US cities as well. He wanted to get as far away from DC as possible. And there was no better destination than the Old Continent itself, separated from the US soil by the Atlantic Ocean. Europe was obviously the best option to spend Christmas in. He could pick from whole range of cities that would give him what he was looking for.

However, he bumped into a problem with that, too. He couldn't actually choose the destination he would like to travel to. He had to dismiss London once he had learnt that his father had decided to spend _his_ Christmas there. Since he had turned down his offer to spend the holidays with Senior, it would be awkward to suddenly meet him in the same city. Not to mention, it would give Senior the wrong impression that he actually agreed with the offer.

His next thought was France. Paris. He'd heard fairy-tales about Paris during the winter and Christmas. He decided that he had to experience it one day. However, the city was a painful reminder of a woman that had stolen his heart. He still hadn't recovered, and to spend Christmas alone with his memories of her would only make his current condition worse.

For the same reason, he eliminated Berlin and-just to be certain—all of Germany, as well. He cherished the memories, but he needed to focus only on himself and his life. If he let those memories claim him, he would be sitting on a plane to Israel in no time. And this trip was about Christmas, the meaning, the atmosphere and the spirit of it. It was about his love for the holiday. Not about his unsatisfied love towards a certain woman.

As he thought about the well-known Christmas destinations in Europe, he realized he didn't have many left. In the end, he had to choose between Vienna and Prague. And, since he had visited the Austrian capital twice already, he decided to be adventurous and go somewhere he had never been into. Although he had heard a lot about the city that was nicknamed as 'The Heart of Europe'.

It was exactly what he needed. A city he had never been to. One where no one would search for him. A foreigner among crowds of people enjoying the Christmas. No one bothering him with problems. Just him, surrounded by the festive mood, with his own thoughts. If he tried to find a word to describe the feeling, it would be 'free'. After all those months he had felt tied up to his job, he was finally free. Even if it was just for a few days.

While he was sitting on the plane, he mulled over his life, the people who belonged to it and his current relationship with them. Not that those relationships had changed significantly from before. He just felt that something was wrong with them. Lately, he had been questioning himself and his past decisions, which influenced his relationships with people in one way or the other. Some of them understood him, some didn't.

Although he didn't understand it, both McGee and Ellie had put up with his moods and supported him as much as they could. They had even invited him to spend Christmas with them. But Tony had declined. Ellie needed to solve few things with Jake, and McGee wanted to have peaceful Christmas with Delilah. There was no reason for him to ruin their lives even more. His behaviour in work was more than enough.

Abby had made the same offer, but he had refused hers, too. She would try to make him happier, and he didn't have the strength to stop her. He would get annoyed with her and that would lead to arguments, thus he would hurt her feelings. And to do so was the last thing he wanted to do. He just didn't want to bother other people with his problems anymore.

His father had come up with the idea of family Christmas. A father/son chance for bonding was a terrific image, and Tony didn't have anything against it. However, in order to keep their relationship on the good terms, he had turned him down. He had no doubt that spending the time together would lead to some pitiful quarrel about their past. It would ruin everything they had built together over the last few months.

As for his relationship with Zoe... Well, the current state could be described as 'tense'. He could only blame himself for that, though. His bad mood hadn't left him when he came home, so she had to witness his states of frustration quite often. Being troublesome most of the time, he picked fights with her about trivial stuff, disgruntled by the fact that she didn't understand why he had been in such a mood.

He snapped at her constantly, saying harsh words to her that he actually didn't mean. But it felt so good to see her hurt expression. It made him think that someone else could feel the pain, as well. It was helping him to vent his frustration and his anger towards the whole world. He needed a target and she was the easiest one. But he hated himself for behaving this way.

He had to wonder why she hadn't broken up with him yet. Being the woman she was, she didn't have to tolerate this. She didn't do anything to deserver this and he knew it. Yet, she was still there, trying to take his mind off the work and actually enjoy everyday life. Some days, he succumbed to it and made her happy. Other days, he didn't. Those days, she would let him drown deeper into the depression to save him again later.

Their last encounter, though, had been an argument. Her idea of finding the Christmas spirit for him was to go to her parents' house together and spend the holidays with her family. When he had said 'no'; to her, she had been annoyed. He didn't blame her. Her accusation of fearing such a kind of commitment had been justified. But it was for the sake of their relationship.

Meeting with parents was a big deal for him. It wasn't about taking another step in the relationship. It was the fact that he was supposed to make a good impression. Unfortunately, he was in one of the worst moods he had ever experienced. The impression certainly would have been made, but it wouldn't have been called 'good'. And he was in no mood to go around pretending how 'fine' he was when he wasn't.

So, she had left him alone in his apartment, texting him later to tell him that she had arrived safe and sound, just in case he had been even interested in such information. He had texted her back, informing her about his trip to Europe. But he hadn't mentioned exactly where in Europe he was going. Maybe this little break would only do them good. Whether it meant that it would lead to break-up or strengthening their relationship, it didn't matter.

And the main reason for his awful mood? Leroy Jethro Gibbs. His boss. His surrogate father. A person who had change significantly over the last few months, since he had been shot. A person Tony didn't recognize anymore. Even though he tried to understand the change the old man was going through, mainly in respect for their mutual past, it cost him a lot nerves to get it all right.

" _Man cannot live without a permanent trust in something indestructible in himself, though both the indestructible element and the trust may remain permanently hidden from him. One of the ways in which this hiddenness can express itself is through faith in a personal god."_

It was hard to see the person he always admired so, who stood by him and believed in him, as so weak and broken. That wasn't how the fatherly figures were supposed to be. Those men were usually strong, hell-bent and strong-minded. Gibbs was... Well, he could still be those things, with the annoying stubbornness on the top of the cake. But at the same time, he wasn't the same man anymore.

He was uncertain and indecisive when it came to the world itself. Things really were changing and Gibbs' insecurity was because of the fact that he wasn't sure whether he could still react on such changes. His reactions were off and hypersensitive, his behaviour contradictory. Sometimes he was very sensitive, sometimes he was too harsh. He was hardly ever anything in between.

Tony hated the cold shoulder he had been given when he had tried to talk to him. It was obvious that he kept locking up whatever feelings he had had and refused to show them to him. On the other hand, there were those little outbursts-usually of anger-that often left Tony speechless. As if Gibbs couldn't deal with the fact that Tony had stepped up when it had been needed.

He was frustrated with the situation. Not only because of the fact that Gibbs had decided to prepare him to take over his role in the team, but, at the same time, he was afraid to let go of it. He had placed great burdens on Tony's shoulders, and never asked him whether he agreed with that or not. Tony had accepted the role at first. But soon, his own mind had started to fight such expectations.

He didn't mind that Gibbs had chosen him. It was kind of natural and certain that it might happen one day. What bothered him the most was that his boss had turned into Jekyll and Hyde. Jekyll was the fatherly figure, truly caring for Tony and the one who wanted to educate his successor, but was giving up. Hyde was the barking man who was scared to leave his position and thought that no one could do well without him, actually getting angry when someone did behind his back.

This whole mess influenced Tony more than he was letting on. Never being sure what side of Gibbs he would have to face that day, he hated mornings he had to go into work. There, he calmed down until some incident came up. In the evening, he arrived home. If Zoe had decided to avoid him because he had told her something vicious, he spent his nights alone, trying to get himself out of the state of frustration.

He spent nights staring at the ceiling and mulling over his life. Comparing it to Gibbs', of course. Not that the two were at all similar. But, considering Gibbs seemed to try to turn him into some improved version of himself, he couldn't help it. And that brought questions into his head about whether he truly wanted to be like Gibbs one day. Whether he didn't make a mistake by relying on his boss so much.

That was why he had started to doubt his past decisions and what he had made of himself. Almost everything he had done during the last two decades was influenced by Gibbs. By his rules, by his fatherly (even though sometimes harsh) care for Tony, his unrelenting belief in him, but questioning his intentions when Tony decided to hide some information from him and so on.

He was always loyal to his surrogate father, depriving himself of what he actually deserved. Like the leadership job in Rota. And, if he was supposed to be honest, it cost him his love life a lot. For years he had fought back the feelings he had had towards his Israeli co-worker, respecting his boss' rules and his own sense of fidelity to him. It had only given him a broken heart. Although, he realized that in order fulfil that happily ever after, both he and that Israeli woman would have to be willing to break Rule 12 and betray their loyalty towards Gibbs.

Unfortunately, it never happened. Neither of them wanted to do that, and they didn't demand it from the other. He wasn't angry with Gibbs for that, though. More, he was angry with himself that he didn't have the guts to pursue his dream, especially when he had longed for it for so long. The fact that he doubted his past decisions wasn't truly helping at the moment. His mind often drifted off to 'what if' scenarios.

Anyway, he had a few peaceful days in front of him. Ones in a foreign city full of locals and tourists. What a wonderful way to spend Christmas, soaking up the atmosphere and find the Christmas spirit. In the meantime, he could deal with his states of frustration and depression and return back to D.C. as an even-tempered human being. Yes, this holiday was about to change his life for the better. He was sure of that.

After landing on the Czech soil, he waited for his luggage and found his way out. He hadn't been able see much from the plane because the sky had been cloudy. But he had noticed that there was some snow on the ground. So, when he stepped out and saw the traces of the white substance, he revelled in the winter immediately. The cold air made him shiver, and he buttoned up his coat.

Not that he didn't have this weather in D.C., but Prague was further north, so it was natural that the cold and the winter would be slightly worse. Besides, he loved the different smells of the places he visited. Home had the same, usually comforting smell. But since he wanted to get far away from home as possible, he was satisfied with the change of environment.

Hiring a taxi, he was driven straight to the hotel. He was lucky. This hotel was usually full at Christmas. But one last room had been vacant, so he grabbed it. His father had stayed there once or twice, and since he could rely on Senior's tastes when it came to restaurants and hotels, he had chosen Hotel U Jezulatka*, on the Kampa Island.

Inside the taxi, he read all the text messages he had missed that had a lot to do about his whereabouts. He decided to just inform McGee on where he was. To the rest, he just answered he was in Europe and the rest wasn't their concern. He was a big boy and this wasn't his first time alone on the Old Continent. He could take care of himself. Putting the phone aside, he observed the city they were driving through.

He took notice of a lot of beautiful buildings and. soon, he started to make mental notes about what he would like to visit during his stay here, or at least to go explore. He loved these historical places, though he wasn't such a big fan of history in general. But something inside him was fascinated by the age of this place. And he had some basic knowledge, plus, what he'd gathered during his life experiences was usually enough for him not to embarrass himself.

Arriving at the hotel, he thanked the driver and paid before stepping out. It was a beautiful morning. Most of the city was still asleep, with only a few locals here and there. The closed sales booths in front of the hotel told him that there was Christmas marketplace going on and he couldn't wait to look at all their stuff. But he focused on the green house in front of him with the name of his hotel as he stepped inside.

It wasn't a huge hotel. He remembered that they had only six rooms, but his father hadn't been able to speak highly enough of the place. And maybe it was what Tony needed. The intimacy of a small, but luxurious, hotel with a picturesque restaurant and artistic interior. This was exactly the place no one would ever search for him, where he could bury himself and solve his inner issues with the outside world.

He got the small room right on the first floor. Once inside it and closing the door behind him, he looked around the room to assess it, his heart skipping a beat at the big-screen TV. But he was jet-lagged and truly needed some sleep, so he took his pants off and, without unpacking, he muffled up into the sheets and fell asleep immediately.

When he woke up, it was already the afternoon. His sleep had been mediocre but peaceful, so it was a change from the sleepless nights back in DC. He turned the TV on, finding a music channel to put himself into the mood. To his luck, they were having some sort of Christmas pop songs chart, so he started to unpack his things while singing 'All I Want For Christmas Is You'.

After a quick shower, he dressed himself in comfortable and warm clothes, so he would be able to stand the cold while strolling through the city. Eagerly, he left the hotel and smiled widely the moment he saw the scenery in front of him. The sales booths were opened with people selling various stuff. All was Christmas themed, the sales booths were decorated Christmas-y, with lights and all, just as the trees in the street were.

He felt the warm feeling spreading through his veins as the inner child in him jumped in excitement. But it still wasn't enough, he needed a lot more to get this part of his old self back. He made a step towards the first of the sales booth and bought some pastry that looked quite alluring. He was starving and, damn, this was delicious. The sugar and walnut mix in which was the rolled dough coated showed him how Christmas really tasted.

Humming in delight, he looked around and checked his phone for a map to figure which way to go. It was slowly getting dark, even though it still wasn't evening. He looked over at his right side and realized that there was a staircase that he had totally overlooked the first time he had walked by. It led up to the Charles Bridge, and he definitely wanted to go there. But he decided to take it in a different way. He could use this one when he was returning to the hotel.

So, walking around all the sales booths, he went up north through the very narrow street that led him straight onto a bridge across some river that apparently was called Čertovka**. He stiffened a little when he saw that the railing of the bridge was full of love locks, just like in Paris on the Pont des Arts. He couldn't help it. Everywhere he set his foot in, there was always something that made him to think about his former co-worker.

He admired the view for a while, chewing the last bits of his pastry, watching some couple locking their love lock before going further ahead. There were some street musicians who, according their age, were probably some students of arts. They were singing various Christmas songs. At the moment, it was John Lennon's 'Happy Xmas (War is Over)' and it was amazing to see how the tourists joined in and sang along.

Tony stopped to take a proper look at the John Lennon Wall, full of graffiti, love messages, poems, mottos that urged mankind to respect each other, both in political and religious ways, to spread peace and fight for freedom. His thoughts—involuntarily, of course-drifted to Western Wall (or Wailing Wall) in Jerusalem.

Shaking his head to get rid of those memories, he realized that he needed to stop with these associations. He came here to find the Christmas spirit, not to constantly think about the woman he had left two years ago in Israel. He continued in his way, walking with some group of tourists so he wouldn't get lost.

Walking down another street, he finally found himself in front of the Lesser Town Bridge Tower that invited him to enter the famous Charles Bridge. He pulled out his phone and took few pictures. Then, without hesitating, he went straight across the bridge. He tried to take notice of everything that he could. The views, the scenery, the people, their conversations. He tried to just soak up the atmosphere of the Christmas crowd.

He had to smile at the mixture of accents and foreign languages, admiring the statues of important people on the bridge as his eyes shone with the joy as he observed everything around him. Half-way through the bridge, he stopped dead in his tracks upon seeing a familiar figure in front of him. She was leaning against the bridge wall, dreamily admiring the view of the Prague Castle.

He shook his head once, then twice. He had to be dreaming. That theory went to hell the moment some tourists patted her shoulder and asked her to take a photo of them, which she delightedly did. It couldn't be someone similar to her, because it _was her._ He could never mistake that body, that voice, that hair and that posture. His heart started to pound loudly inside his chest as his eyes focused only on the woman in front of him.

_**The End of Chapter 1** _

* * *

*Infant Jesus of Prague

** Devil's Channel, sometimes called Little Prague Venice


	2. Chapter 2

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 2** _

* * *

_*** WHERE WE LEFT OFF ***_

_He had to smile at the mixture of accents and foreign languages, admiring the statues of important people on the bridge as his eyes shone with the joy as he observed everything around him. Half-way through the bridge, he stopped dead in his tracks upon seeing a familiar figure in front of him. She was leaning against the bridge wall, dreamily admiring the view of the Prague Castle._

_He shook his head once, then twice. He had to be dreaming. That theory went to hell the moment some tourists patted her shoulder and asked her to take a photo of them, which she delightedly did. It couldn't be someone similar to her, because it was her. He could never mistake that body, that voice, that hair and that posture. His heart started to pound loudly inside his chest as his eyes focused only on the woman in front of him._

_*** AND NOW WE CONTINUE ***_

* * *

He stood there, rooted to the stony ground, as he watched her take the photo for the couple and, with her typical Ziva-smile, saying goodbye to them. She turned back and leant against the bridge wall again, carrying on with her fascination of the view. There was no doubt that it was her. In that red coat with a cream white scarf that had red snowflakes on it, and matching gloves, she looked like a Christmas miracle.

He didn't know what to do. _Try to talk to her? Let her know that he knows about her presence now? Ignore her and just disappear out of here as quickly as possible?_ Of all the places in the world he could ever bump into her after their parting in Israel two years ago, this was the last one he could have expected. She was like an apparition, a dream, a fantasy come true. Although, he felt quite uneasy about talking to her. The hole in his heart was still raw.

The vanity inside him, so typical for men, ordered him to go around her and not even try to pay attention to her. To show that his efforts to move on had been successful. On the other hand he couldn't stop the nagging questions in his head. _What were the odds of meeting her here? Was it some sign of sorts?_ As much as he wanted to just go away and forget about all of this, he couldn't argue with the reasoning of his heart that this was fate's work.

He wanted so much to go to her and talk to her. Ask her how she was doing, what she was doing and if she was okay. Just to see that he hadn't made a mistake back then and, by doing what she had asked him to do, he'd given her what she'd needed. Even though it might hurt him, although it might just cause him pain, he just needed to know. When it came to her, he just _needed_ to know that she was doing fine.

He was forced to make a step aside after some people crashed into him. They weren't paying too much attention to their surroundings, solely focusing on taking photos of the statues on the bridge. He actually didn't mind it, because he was too busy with his own thoughts. Feverishly, he tried to find the best to approach her.

He'd thought about this scenario a thousand times before. He'd prepared his speech, even the way he'd greet her. But, suddenly, he felt unprepared. He felt as if he was meeting his first date. But that was ridiculous. He was a grown-up man, and she was 'just' his former co-worker. He didn't have any reason to feel nervous about talking to her.

He walked around her in a reasonable distance away so she wouldn't notice him. Not that she would, anyway, she was completely lost in her own world. After a few seconds of hesitation, and after he'd let bunch of tourists pass by since they seemed in a hurry, he went over to her. Raising his hand, he was ready to take her by her shoulder and turn her around. But then he decided against it. He was still aware of her damn ninja skills, and he didn't want to end up injured.

So he just stood next to her, pretending to be another of the hundreds of tourists around them as he, too, admired the view of Prague Castle with the Vltava River below them. He didn't say anything, he just waited for her register his presence next to her. Once she did, she squirmed a little bit. But her eyes stayed glued to the castle. After all, with the number of people on the bridge, she had gotten used to being part of the crowd, her personal space constantly invaded.

"It's a breathtaking view, isn't it?" He began, once he had gathered enough courage to start some sort of conversation. His hands were shaking, but he managed to keep his voice calm.

Although he didn't see her face-at least, not yet-he could hear her smile. He didn't know whether she had recognized him or not, but he was about to find out. "Yes, it is." She replied after a while, wondering how many English-speaking people were in Prague at the moment. She hadn't used so much English in one day since she had decided to stay in Israel. She began turning her head towards the person standing next to her. "It's one of the m-" Her words left her the moment she saw the familiar man beside her, and her eyes widened in surprise. She totally hadn't expected that.

Her head finished the turn slowly. Her body followed. Her lips parted in awe and her eyes studied the man's face, as if she couldn't believe it was really him. He looked surprised, too, but it was obvious that he'd known to whom he had been speaking when he had started the conversation. The expectant smile on his face was telling her that he was nervous, but also very happy to see her.

She cracked a smile through the astonished expression on her face, letting the warm feeling to claim her. It felt amazing to see a familiar figure, especially someone she'd been dying to see since the moment she's seen him for the last time. She could never forget his sincere eyes and the warm gaze he always gave her. Hell, she could still feel his kiss burning on her lips. Not to mention that he often intruded her dreams.

It was one thing was to leave her past behind, stay in Israel and try to find herself to become a better person and remake the one she'd already created. It was an entirely different thing to forget about all those people who had found their way into her heart. Dreams were the worst, because she couldn't control them. However, she was curious how they all were doing, and now she had one of them in front of her.

"Tony." She breathed out, evidently enjoying saying his name aloud. It wasn't just a word for her. She added a lot of affection into her voice, as if she wanted to caress his name, pronouncing each sound of it tenderly. He didn't need all that to know that the pleasure of this meeting was mutual.

A purr of delight escaped his lips. He revelled in the way she'd said his name. He knew that when she used that thick tone full of emotion-not to mention the huge influence of her Israeli accent-she wasn't saying _just_ his name. It had a deeper meaning than that. It was a whole sentence of unspoken words that she couldn't say or find at the moment, but she wanted to say them so much.

His throat constricted the moment he tried to say her name. This had become an usual issue since their ways had parted. It was for the same reason that she always said his name in such a specific way. Her name didn't just mean what she was called. It meant everything he felt for her, everything she meant to him. That was why he was so hesitant to say her name aloud, because he was uncovering his vulnerable side.

"Hello, sweetcheeks." He greeted her warmly after he had cleared his throat to get rid of the lump inside. He couldn't come up with anything else, so he made sure that it was said with love, and that he'd meant it as an endearment. The endearment he used for her alone.

She knew this, and that was why she responded with a giggle. His eyes widened as his heart started to melt at the sound. He had longed to hear it so much that he had sometimes dreamt about this particular, unique sound. His mojo definitely still worked since he was able to make her giggle like that. And nothing could make him any prouder or happier at the moment. The joy in her eyes was everything he had wished for.

His hands twitched with the desire to embrace her, to take her in his arms and hug her endlessly. He had to assure himself that it wasn't a dream. But since he was unsure whether she would accept it, he fought the urge as much as he could. She saw the struggle in his face, the hesitancy in his eyes. She made the first step, opening her arms. They took a simultaneous step towards each other and, the next second, they were hugging.

" _You are at once both the quiet and the confusion of my heart; imagine my heartbeat when you are in this state."_

The hug was tentative at first, as they were both still trying to absorb the fact that they had met here in Prague. Soon, however, Tony pressed her desperately to his body, not caring about the fact she might feel how erratic his heartbeat was. She was alive, she was here. He had her in his arms. It was like the best Christmas present he could ever receive. Because she felt like Christmas, with all the cinnamon and vanilla scent in her hair where his nose was buried.

Ziva snuggled up into his body, pressing her head into his chest and breathing in his smell. The smell she had missed so much, the smell that reminded her of home. Despite the fact she could also smell the pastry he'd eaten few minutes ago-thus the walnut and sugar flavor. But he was her home, his embrace was her home. The funny thing was that she hadn't known that just a few minutes ago. All she needed to realize that was to meet him.

"Ziva." He whispered with quivering voice, feeling a great relief after he'd finally managed to say her name aloud.

Holding her in his arms made him realize one thing. He still loved her. He had never stopped loving her. He'd just pushed the feelings to the back of his mind. He knew it now, because the feelings were back with greater intensity than ever before. He was an open book now. And his love for her was the strongest emotion he was feeling at the moment.

She gasped upon hearing the way he'd uttered her name, sensing the huge amount of emotions behind it. She couldn't stop the tear that found its way out of the corner of her eye. She wasn't only moved by the fact that there apparently weren't any hard feelings between them, but also no hatred, either. She also realized that, no matter how hard she tried, he was still deeply embedded in her heart.

Unbeknownst to him, she felt the same as he did. The love she felt for him came back to life. It streamed through her veins. It sent butterflies flying around her stomach. Her knees weakened. And if hadn't known that she was in the middle of Christmas craziness, she would have sworn that the 'hallelujah' she was hearing was just resonating inside her head. All those feelings that she thought she had buried a long time ago had just returned with a crushing force.

" _Should I be grateful or should I curse the fact that despite all misfortune I can still feel love, an unearthly love but still for earthly objects?"_

Realizing that she shouldn't cling onto him as if he were a life preserver, she put her feelings back in check. She quickly wiped away the tear before he could see it and pulled away to look at him. He smiled at her warmly, caressing her hair while still embracing her with his other hand. He didn't want to her let go of her. At least not yet. He wanted to have her as close to him as possible.

She yielded to it and, as they had in habit, she stayed close to his proximity, putting her hands on his arms. "Wha-" She began, her voice croaky. She cleared her throat and spoke up again. "What are you doing here? This is the last place I've ever expected to meet you." And it was the truth, though there were certainly other places. But she'd chosen Prague for several reasons, and one of them had been to avoid any memories of Tony.

Still enveloped in the haze of love, he touched her face gently with the tips of his fingers, trying to memorize every feature. She didn't dare breathe as his fingers graced her lips. It was electrifying in such a strange way, and she couldn't quite digest it. His eyes misted as his mind wandered off to that fateful kiss they had shared on the tarmac. Unconsciously, he licked his own lips as if trying to find any traces of her taste.

"Likewise." He replied pensively, studying her face as if he were comparing the burnt image in his mind to the reality in front of him.

Then, as if he suddenly realized what he was doing, he withdrew his hand and shoved both of them into the pockets of his coat. The urge to touch her was too strong, and he had to fight it. "Anyway..." He continued, a bit embarrassed of his reverie. He didn't know anything about her reason being here, so he shouldn't give away his feelings so easily. "I'm here on Christmas vacation. Trying to find the lost spirit of Christmas. You?" He asked her curiously. He didn't have any reason to hide this much of the truth.

She furrowed her eyebrows contemplatively, trying very hard not to be hurt over his sudden shift in mood. She still gripped his arms and didn't show any intention of pulling them away. "Doing the same, actually." She replied sincerely, keeping the eye contact between them for as long as possible.

She wanted to know what was wrong with him. And to look straight into his eyes was the best option. The eyes were like windows deep into his soul. She sensed that he was tense, troubled even. He didn't look happy or relaxed, which was what she was used to seeing. The spark full of childish excitement was gone. She saw only dull and worried eyes. However, there were traces of the lovable Tony she knew. But those had evidently resurfaced thanks to this unexpected meeting.

He returned the stare, trying to read in her face what she had been through and what reason she might have for trying to get herself into a Christmas mood. Even though he had gotten carried away by her beauty, he noticed that she seemed content. Not entirely happy, but she was a lot more at ease than a few years ago. She'd obviously worked hard to free herself of the burden she'd been under for so many years.

"You here alone?" He asked her after a few minutes of silence that was otherwise filled with staring at each other. The question was careful, yet almost interrogative. But it was necessary for him to ask. They had to set some boundaries.

She opened her mouth in an immediate response, but then she hesitated. He wasn't revealing much about himself, so why would she? What if he wasn't alone here? What if he had come with someone? It was a shock for her that she actually wished for him to be all by himself on this vacation. Selfishly, she wished to only have him for herself. She missed him so much, it was getting unbearable.

"Yes, I am. You?" She replied eventually, choosing not lie to him. She risked it, since she didn't have anything to lose. She had never had him for real, anyway.

A wave of relief washed over him, though it was a selfish one. It meant that he could spend some time with her here and remember the old times. There was no one waiting for them or holding them back. They could walk side by side and chat without fear of interruption or meeting with unexpected acquaintances. He had her for himself for the whole visit here.

"Me, too." He replied calmly with a satisfied smile. His hand, moving on its own volition, pulled itself out of the pocket of his coat and eagerly touched her face.

"Great." She breathed out, leaning into his touch as the spark of happiness danced in her eyes. She was glad that he was touching her again in that comforting way that only he could.

The silence settled between them again, both trying to digest exactly what this all meant for them. Two old friends with loads of unresolved feelings, together in a foreign city during one of the most magical times of the year. After more than two years of no contact, they were finally meeting again, dying to know what the other had been doing the whole time apart. Neither of them knew how to start, though.

When she saw him licking his lips unconsciously, and she caught herself doing the same, she decided it was a time to move their encounter somewhere else. "Do you have time for a coffee or something? I know a cosy café not far away from here where we could sit down and talk." She offered, looking around at the crowds of people wandering the bridge around them.

"Not that I have anything against this bridge. She added, "but it's freezing out here, and something to warm me up would sound amazing right now. Plus, it's not so crowded there. It's a really intimate place." She was trying to convince him into something she didn't have to, judging by the beaming expression he was rewarding her with.

Of course he had a time for a coffee. He had time for more than that. He didn't have any intention to give up of her company for the rest of the day. "Lead the way, then." He agreed with her proposition, his heart melting once again over her enchanting smile. He definitely pleased her with his desire to spend some time with her.

She walked past him, beckoning for him to follow her, which he gladly did. However, since there were so many people on and in front of the bridge, she stood right next to him and looked at him expectantly. He watched her for a while with confused expression, until she put her arm through his and with a nod, gave him a hint to move. He smiled and led her from the bridge, going through the Old Town Bridge Tower and into other historic parts of Prague.

_**The End of Chapter 2** _


	3. Chapter 3

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 3** _

Tony and Ziva passed by the statue of Charles IV., the man after whom the Charles Bridge was called. As the darkness started to settle in, the surrounding buildings were illuminated by electric lights. Tony's gaze lingered on the impressive building of Klementinum* and he couldn't help but admire the architecture. However, he remembered to stay on alert. The amount of people around him was overwhelming.

Ziva led him across the pedestrian crossing to the other side of the street, successfully avoiding crashing into anyone. She was slow enough, however, for him to properly observe his surroundings and enjoy the visit of this city. His eyes looked at everything – the monumental buildings, souvenirs shops, people, Christmas decorations, etc. He couldn't get enough of it all.

They made it to a corner where she turned them to the right and continued further through a narrow street. They didn't talk much, just words of current observations. They were both waiting for something bigger talk about at the café. Plus, Tony was suddenly quite shocked at the calmness of the street. Compared to the street just a few steps away crowded with people, this street looked almost... deserted.

Finally, she stopped in front of a building painted in greyish blue colour. It had metal window shutters, with metal leaves winding through with Christmas lights interwoven through them. He looked at the name and immediately fell in love with the place. "Choco Café." Chocolate, coffee and pleasant company were things that truly made him feel good again. The magic of his European vacation was finally starting to work.

They went inside and Ziva immediately headed for a two-person table in the corner with plush chairs. It truly seemed like she had been there before, because she behaved as if this were her favourite place to sit. He followed her and insisted on helping her take off her coat. She smiled sweetly at his courteous behaviour and let him do as he wished.

An electrifying shiver ran down her spine when he touched her, and she had to cease her movements as she was taking off her gloves. It was such a familiar feeling, but also so unknown. It was Tony who was touching her, true, but this was a different Tony. She decided that she had to find out what was going on with him, whatever the cost. He obviously wasn't alright.

Tony felt the spark, too, and he didn't fight it. His relationship with her had always been full of tension, and if he wanted to be honest, he missed it. He couldn't refrain from breathing in her scent again to memorize her unique fragrance. His fingers lingered on her arm longer than was necessary, but she didn't seem to mind it. Taking the coat off, he hang it carefully on the chair, making sure it didn't touch the ground.

She sat down with a slight blush on her cheeks, pleased by his gentlemanly behaviour of his as he pulled out her chair. He sat from across her, locking their eyes. Finally, he had time to properly look at her. Her curly hair was mostly the same. The colour was a bit darker, but he loved it. She looked beautiful, gorgeous even.

Unbeknownst to him, she was looking him over, too. She assessed his features, noticing a few wrinkles that had appeared on his face since their last encounter. But they made him look more mature. However, she couldn't ignore the haggard and tired expression. He was definitely stressed out. Nevertheless, he was still as handsome as ever. And she was falling for him all over again.

Their mutual reverie was interrupted by the waiter bringing them menus. Tony took his and started flipping through it, but Ziva touched his arm to make him to look at her. "Would you mind if I ordered for us both?" She asked. "I've been here before, and I think I know what you would like."

He nodded with a grin and closed his menu. She ordered two hot chocolates with nuts and cream, two mulled wines with ginger and two pieces of medovník** . The waiter recorded the order and went to get it. As they waited for their order, they discussed the cafe and how Ziva had found it. It seemed that, even though they wished to talk about other, serious issues, they were trying to push those aside for a little while and just have some casual, light talk.

She worried that she had not made the right decision with the order. But the expression on his face taking a bite of the cake, and sipping both drinks calmed her fears. He looked like a satisfied bear after a hearty lunch. After acknowledging that the choices were tasty and delicious, the atmosphere thickened and there was no way out of the talk.

Tony leaned against the back of his chair, playing with the fork between his fingers for a while, chewing on the cake and watching her. It still seemed surreal to have the woman he had yearned to talk to for months sitting in front of him. So many questions he wanted to ask. So many answers he feared to hear. So many unspoken words he wanted to tell her.

"So, spending the Christmas holiday in 'The City of a Hundred Spires', hm?" He asked curiously. "How come?" He knew that they had had to start with something, and this was the safest topic.

She glanced innocently at him over the rim of her hot chocolate. She put the cup down and shrugged. "I just missed Christmas, that's all. You know, the atmosphere and the smell of vanilla, cinnamon and nuts. It just feels homely." She trailed off at the end of the sentence as a distant look appeared on her face.

" _I am free, and that is why I am lost."_

At times like these, she missed the United States and her surrogate family like nothing else. They had taught her everything about these customs, welcomed her into their world and let her take part in it. Unknowingly, she had fallen in love with them. And, although she still believed that her decision to leave two years ago had been the right one for her sanity, she often found herself feeling like she was missing something.

"I guess I'm just a little bit nostalgic." She pulled herself back together and cut off a piece of the cake, taking a bite of the delicious honey goodness.

He watched her with a neutral smile, waiting for her to finish. "I chose Prague because I was here before. But I didn't get a chance to really look around. So I figured this might be a good chance to do so. It's a beautiful city." She went on as she chewed, running her hand through her hair nervously.

He nodded in acknowledgment, but he sensed her uneasiness. "Your first and only choice?" He asked. He was curious as to whether they were still thought on the same wavelength.

Paying more attention to the cake, she wasn't careful with her words this time. "No. At first I thought of Paris, actually. But..." She suddenly stopped talking, realizing to whom she was talking. She didn't dare to look into his eyes at the moment, waiting for him to make his move.

"Too many memories, right?" He guessed dispassionately. He focused on her body language.

She looked up at him surprised. Her cheeks were flushed in embarrassment as the heat in her body began to rise. To talk about Paris with Tony was something she had successfully avoided so far, and now she had no choice but to face it. It wasn't that she wasn't ready to talk about what had happened there. She was. But admitting that she have rather chosen different city so she wouldn't have to bother with memories of him wasn't the best thing to say after all this time.

He smiled at her sweetly, taking the cup of mulled wine into his cold hands. "Don't worry," he assured her. "Just say it. That's why I didn't go to Paris, either. Or Germany."

She smiled as relief filled her face, mixed with amused bewilderment. "So," she asked, "you want to tell me that we both tried so hard to avoid each other, only to meet here in Prague?"

"Fate, I guess." He offered. Fate had brought them together accidentally and torn them apart painfully. So maybe it was the time to make amends. He hadn't dared to defy Fate before, but right now he was willing to accept anything that was offered to him.

" _I have this vision: That I would finally come and find you. Scattered pieces of distance would not stand in my way. Not needing words; the barest of glimpses would suffice for you and me."_

Many times, he had thought about throwing his career into the winds, resigning from NCIS and going to Israel to find her. There were two things holding him back, though. The first thing was that he loved his job too much, and he loved his life in DC. He had worked hard to gain it and he didn't want to give it up. The second one was simple. She had asked him not to search for her. He had given her his promise that he would give her her freedom. He respected her wish. But, as it seemed, Fate had decided to intervene.

She stared at him for a while, trying to digest his thoughts deeper. But he wasn't giving away anything. He'd mastered his facade, being very careful with his words so he didn't uncover his own vulnerability. She wondered whether she could have been one of the reasons, but she didn't want to be selfish. If his current problems were caused by her, he would have probably avoided her on the bridge.

"Anyway," she said, "I also came here because Prague has a strong Jewish history. And since I'm taking history courses right now, it's my way of exploring and seeing what I'm learning about." One of her goals in finding herself was learning as much about the histories of her country and people as she could. It was her way to identify herself with her own nation.

He smiled at her proudly. It was obvious that she was satisfied with herself, that made him beyond happy. "And I fell in love with this place immediately," she said. "I've been here for a few days, already, and I can't get enough."

"Prague never lets you go," he uttered with a playful wink. "This dear little mother has sharp claws." He took a sip from his hot chocolate, humming in delight. He was quite proud of himself for quoting one of the most famous Praguers of the past.

She parted her lips slightly in awe, pleasantly surprised by his knowledge. Somebody had been working on his culture education, that was for sure. "Do you mean to tell me that you know who Franz Kafka is?" She asked him in a teasing tone. What he had said was one of the most famous quotes of the German-language writer with Jewish roots. And one of the most known quote about Prague.

He glared at her, but he couldn't hide the playful smile gracing his face, even though he tried to do so behind his cup. "Of course I know who Kafka is," he teased. "It offends me that you think that I'm so uncultured."

She crossed her arms across her chest, leaning against the back of the chair comfortably. "Yeah, but only from movie adaptations, right?" She fired back.

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "Sure, I've seen the movies," he said. "But for your information, sweetcheeks, I've even read the books." His voice was smug, knowing that he would take her breath away. He had never been a book person, but after their ways had parted, he had promised himself to read one book a month. It was another way how to honour their decisions to change themselves despite being so far away from each other.

She was stunned, and she had to admit that she had lost this round. If she had ever expected him read a book, Kafka would not have been it. Even after all those years, this man never ceased to amaze her. And for some reason, it made her very happy.

"Wow," she said. "That's... unexpected. I mean, most people hate him. They say that he is very difficult to read. You're surprising me." She was glad for him, and glad for this small, but significant, change. It made him to look more sophisticated in her eyes. More attractive, even, if that were even possible.

"That's just the new me." He shrugged as if it weren't such a big deal. So he read one book a month. It didn't have to be the main topic. But it made him feel good that she thought so highly of him now.

She was glad that he had mentioned this change in himself. It was her turn to question him, now. "The 'new' you seems to be more troubled than the old one I knew, though," she noted. "So, Anthony DiNozzo, what are _you_ doing here?"

His face went gloomy all of sudden. Since he had stepped off the plane, he hadn't been thinking about why he had actually travelled to Europe. The city had enchanted him enough to push these thoughts away. Now, the thoughts were back. But he knew they woud. It was only natural that she would be curious as to what he was doing in Prague. Just as he was about her reasons, after all.

He sighed deeply and tried to take his arms off of the table. But she reached for his hands and touched them gently. The electrifying spark that shot through him made him look at her. "Because 'trying to find the lost spirit of Christmas'?" She began. "That's not the Tony I know."

He had to agree with her, though unwillingly. The situation he had been in had turned his life upside down, creating a man he didn't recognize. He wasn't the Tony she knew. And he didn't like that, either. But to explain his need to change the environment and forget about his troubles for a while, so he would get part of his old self back, was hell of a hard thing.

"It's complicated." He warned her with a sigh.

She smiled at him understandingly, trying to cheer him up a little bit while squeezing his hands. "Has it ever not been?" she asked. "Just start somewhere."

She had wisely avoided asking something like, 'when did it all start?' Not that she had thought that she was a reason for his misery, but because it might lead to that. And she wanted to avoid the talk about them until she knew what had put him into this mood. They still knew so little about their motives and current life situations. It would be unwise to rush things.

He looked at her contemplatively, trying to figure out where to start. His life was far from perfect, though he had tried to pretend that it was. It would have been perfect if she had stayed with them. If she had come back with him to DC two years ago. However, he had to admit one thing – she wasn't the reason for his current mood, nor for his desire to run away from all his problems back home. He couldn't blame her for that.

Still, he needed to be careful about what he said. She couldn't know about certain things, like Mishnev and his relationship with her through Ari. She'd probably had no idea about the existence of her stepbrother. And bringing it up when he saw how relaxed she was right now was something he couldn't do to her. She didn't deserve throwing another ghost of the past in her face.

His main focus, then, had to be the events of the last few months. Because they were the real reasons why he had started to lose himself and change into a person he didn't like.

"Well," he began. "Gibbs's been shot. And I mean pretty badly. He almost didn't make it." He sighed as he pulled his arms off the table and crossed them over his chest defensively.

Her bottom lip started to quiver with concern. The ever-so-invincible Gibbs had been on the verge of death, and she hadn't been there to help him. "How?" she asked, her voice full of worry. "How is he?"

"Have you ever heard about an organization called 'The Calling'?" He asked her, gulping at the memory of how disgusted he had been with those people.

Her eyes glistened with tears as she remembered watching the news talk about the attack in Cairo and finding out about Ned Dorneget's death. "The terrorist group that recruits children through internet to become terrorists?" She asked, nodding. "Yeah, I have." Her voice dripped with disgust over the abusers of innocent youngsters.

He nodded, lowering his gaze to study the cake in front of him. "One of those kids shot him. A kid he tried to save. A kid he let into his own house." He paused to fight back those voices in his head that kept blaming him for that. He spent too much time thinking about it, trying to find any way he could have prevented it from happening.

"Since then, he's been pretty screwed up. And in so much pain. He doesn't show it, but we all can tell. He's not the same person anymore." He lifted his gaze back up to look into her face.

Realizing that he was expecting something from her, she snapped out of her stupor. "I guess you can't blame him, Tony," she said carefully. "People tend to change after they go through a life or death experience like that. They change their value systems so they can be prepared for what comes next."

He nodded in agreement, taking a huge gulp out of his cup of mulled wine. "I understand that," he explained. "The thing is that I have problems with him, now. He's raging out at me all the time. He's like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde." The frustration he had kept locked up for so long was starting to scramble up to the surface.

She understood his need to pour his heart out, because it was obvious that he needed to. And she was glad to be here for him and be the one to hear him out. "What do you mean?" She asked him,-

He let out a sigh, running his hands through his hair. To sort out all of his thoughts and explain what he was feeling in just a few sentences was hard, since he didn't understand all of it himself. "Dr. Jekyll is the good old Gibbs you know. With the head slaps, the rules, the unrelenting energy to solve crimes, building his boats in his basement... He's Gibbs." He paused. "But I think he's starting to give up. I think he's realizing that the world around him is changing, and he's not sure he can deal with it. I think he feels weak and broken, because he just doesn't know who or what to trust anymore." He didn't like seeing the strongest man he had ever chance to meet like this.

She listened closely, holding her cup in her hands.

"And I think that frustrates him. Sometimes, he's really harsh, other times he's too soft. And he knows it's not right, he knows he shouldn't be like that. So, I think he's trying to find someone to take over." He hoped that he was making sense.

She bit her bottom lip, thinking. Tony found this incredibly adorable. "And he chose you, naturally." She stated, not at all surprised. They had all known that Tony would be Gibbs' successor. He deserved it for his hard work, and Gibbs had raised him up to prepare him for it, after all.

"Yes, he did." He agreed. "And that's when Mr. Hyde appears. See, Mr. Hyde doesn't want to let go of the team yet. He seems to think I'm not ready." He hated that his boss didn't trust him enough for this. Gibbs had come to a conclusion that he was indispensable to the agency, even though he was preparing for his resignation as a team leader. His contradictory behaviour in this matter was confusing everyone.

She responded with a questioning raise of an eyebrow, seeking for a more extensive explanation. So this was why he was so upset. The painful spot on his battered soul. And she knew very well that the only way to ease the pain was to make him talk about it. Those hours spent in therapy sessions were now paying off in a completely different way.

"He's given me nothing but a cold shoulder whenever I asked him to talk to me," he complained. "It's like he doesn't trust me and tries to hide his feelings from. And then he starts doubting me. Doubting the reasons for my past decisions. He's testing me. Seeing If I can step up and do things my way when he's gone. He's putting me on desk duty and just throwing clues in my way."

"I just don't get it, you know?" He went on. "Is he testing my loyalty? After all those years? Really?" He looked at her as if she could have the answer he longed to hear. But he knew that she couldn't give him that. The only person that could, however, refused to share anything with him.

She watched him sadly, wondering what was happening to Gibbs. There was no one more loyal to him than Tony. And even if he was testing his surrogate son just to find out whether he was ready to take over, it was cruel to be treating him this way. Tony didn't deserve this. Not after all they had been through together. Gibbs had no right to doubt him and put him through such hell.

Sure, there had been times when Tony had disobeyed him and done things behind his back. But it had been done out of necessity. She was aware that he had disregarded Gibbs' orders when it came to her, but it wasn't from any lack of loyalty. Everyone knew what the real reason had been, even though none of them had ever said that aloud. It would have become too real for their liking, since they hadn't wanted to face their feelings back then.

His eyes grew distant as they started to focus on some invisible point behind her head. Without even realizing, she was holding his hands again, massaging his palms gently. He would probably have appreciated her attempt at calming him if he had registered it. But he suddenly looked so upset. He didn't show any spark of life. Something still laid heavily on him.

"The worst thing is that I'm falling for it," he continued, closing his eyes in shame. "I don't know why, but I am. I'm doubting myself. I'm constantly thinking about the what if's." He let out a breath. "It's changing me. It's turning me into someone I don't wanna be. I'm starting to act like a jerk. It's making me feel better to hurt everybody else." She gripped his hands, gently rubbing her thumbs across his skin. He was doing well, in her opinion. He wasn't denying where the problem was and, moreover, he was obviously trying to do something about it.

"I don't want to be like him," he went on. "I do want to take over. I just don't want him to give up yet. Not like this." He wanted Gibbs to retire with honour, not like a broken man. The thing was that Gibbs didn't want to listen to him.

She nodded understandingly, still trying to do her best to help him let it all out. She remained silent and gave him the time to recuperate. There was something he still hadn't talked about. She still didn't know what he had brought him here. There had to be a breaking point that made him decide to leave the US.

He sighed deeply, feeling as some of that locked up tension came out. Not that it had helped to improve his mood, but he did feel a little bit better. "I'm just losing myself and I don't like it," Tony said. "When McGee asked me what I was doing for Christmas, I realized that I had completely forgotten about it. That was when I realized I needed to get out. So, even though everyone asked me to spend Christmas with them, I decided to go it alone. Everyone's put up with enough of me already. I didn't have to destroy their holidays, too." He appreciated the kindness of his friends, but he truly wanted to be alone for a while. He was looking for his old self, for his own and his friends' benefits.

"Spending Christmas with Gibbs was out of the question." Tony elaborated. "My dad asked me to spend it with him together. As a family. But we're on good terms, now, and I don't want to ruin that with some stupid argument I'm sure we'd have. So, he went to London instead."

She took a sip from her hot chocolate, listening to him attentively. She was glad to hear that, for once, he and his dad weren't arguing. "Abby has some plans with Burt," Tony went on, "and I have no desire to disappoint her on her quest to make me better, anyway." He was only slightly aware that he was rambling now. But he just needed to say all these reasons aloud in order to shut up the nagging voice in his head. "McGee deserves peaceful holiday with Delilah. Considering last year when his father died. And Ellie and Jake have problems on their own to solve. There was no need for me to disturb them." He casually wondered how it had been possible that neither Tim nor Ellie had kicked his ass for his moronic attitude lately. He would have done so if he were in their shoes.

"And Zoe... I just don't know." He sighed, rubbing his temple to ease the headache that had suddenly struck him. "We're both trying to make the relationship work. But I know it's mostly my fault that things aren't going well right now. But maybe it's just not meant to be," he rounded off sullenly. The relationship wasn't working in the right sense, and they knew it. They were more 'next' to each other, than actually 'together'. She didn't understand him in the way he needed to be understood, despite her efforts to do so.

Ziva didn't react to the mentions of all the new people in his life, especially when it came to the last person he had mentioned. She only firmly gripped her cup with white knuckles. She tried to catch his gaze to send him a questioning glance.

He raked his hair, scratching the nape of his neck and lifting his head up to look at her. It suddenly struck him that she didn't have to understand everything, especially not about the people he had mentioned. He sent her a guilty glance as opposed to her quizzical, yet expectant one. She wanted him to tell her everything, so she would understand his sorrows better.

" _I am constantly trying to communicate something incommunicable, to explain something inexplicable, to tell about something I only feel in my bones and which can only be experienced in those bones. Basically it is nothing other than this fear we have so often talked about, but fear spread to everything, fear of the greatest as of the smallest, fear, paralyzing fear of pronouncing a word, although this fear may not only be fear but also a longing for something greater than all that is fearful."_

"You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?" He asked her rhetorically. He hadn't chosen the best way to inform her about the current state of things, including the fact he wasn't single. He hadn't been careful with his words. But to express what he was feeling was so hard that he had stopped censoring himself.

She nodded in agreement, still holding the cup awkwardly as if it was her only defense. "Burt?" she asked, starting at the beginning.

Tony grinned at her, knowing that she would be please for their friend. "Super hot US Park Cop. Abby's smitten." He explained briefly. Ziva smiled with him. It was really nice to know that the Goth had found someone who had swept her off her feet.

Then, she suddenly stopped smiling, knowing that the next topic certainly wasn't easy. "So, Admiral McGee died?" she asked carefully. Neither she nor Tony had a good relationship with their respective fathers, but losing one was always very hard to deal with, anyway. And McGee had supported her immensely after Eli had died.

He nodded slightly, proud of his little surrogate brother and how he had handled the situation. "Yeah. It was really hard for Tim," he explained. "But he has Delilah. He's fine." He watched as she smiled warmly. She obviously rejoiced in Tim's happiness, thus, she still cared about her surrogate family very much.

"Ellie and Jake?" She went on, raising her eyebrow curiously. She noticed that he squirmed in his chair. These people must have something to do with her.

"Well... Uhm, Ellie... She's former NSA agent," he went on reluctantly. "She's working with us now. Her husband Jake is still in the NSA. They have some 'need-to-know' kind of marriage problems." He didn't have anything against Ellie, but Ziva was irreplaceable. Not only in his eyes, but in his heart, too.

The quick-witted woman in front of him comprehended immediately. "So, she's my replacement?" She asked bluntly. She wanted to know him that she didn't mind it. Such changes were natural. She didn't expect that the time would stop for Team Gibbs just because she had left.

He sighed and rubbed his forehead, taking sips of both his liquids on his table to water his mouth and bring some ease into his twisting stomach. "You could put it like that," he admitted. He grew nervous, knowing what name would be brought up next. And he wasn't sure if he was ready for this discussion at the moment.

She sent him an assuring smile, casually finishing the last bits of the cake on her plate. "And the last one you mentioned – Zoe?" she asked innocently, with poorly feigned disinterest.

She was having fun with his discomfort. She had never expected from him to stay single. Especially considering the reason that they had never made a couple. He hadn't had any reason to take her into consideration. She had turned him down. Sure, it pleased her and made her feel good and special that he feared to tell her about the women in his life, but it wasn't necessary. She was a grown-up and, to be honest, she wasn't a saint either.

However, the other side of her couldn't avoid the feelings of hurt and disappointment. Deep down, she had wished for him to wait for her. Those desires had appeared the moment on the bridge when she had realized she still loved him. And he obviously still had very strong feelings for her, as well. She hated herself for being so selfish, for wanting to usurp him all for herself. But it was how she felt.

Tony gulped nervously, looking anywhere but at her. He knew that he shouldn't be feeling this way, but it wasn't easy for him to talk about it with her. Technically, they had never been together. But the feelings he still had for her were clear as day. He loved her like crazy, so to talk about how he was supposedly happy with some other woman wasn't what he wanted to do. It was hurting them both.

"Uhm... She is... Uhm..." he started hesitantly, the word 'girlfriend' getting stuck in his throat. Subconsciously, he was worrid about saying it as if he were giving away some evidence about cheating on Ziva. Twisted thinking, he knew.

She sighed, covering his hand on the table with hers, deciding to do the things that friends were for. She didn't dare show that other half of her. The one that was dying to kiss him, devour his soft lips, bit him gently on his bottom lip and let her tongue play with his. And then kiss him again. And again. And actually never stop pushing their lips against each other.

Those desires needed to be suppressed. He needed to talk. He needed a talk with a good friend. And she wanted to be that kind of friend for him. "Your girlfriend?" she offered, smiling at him encouragingly. She tried to ignore the pounding heart inside her chest that protested against his potential affirmation.

She heard his sharp intake of breath as he struggled to properly fill his lungs with air. It made her wonder how serious the relationship between him and the Zoe-girl was. Evidently, they were havingsome disagreements and the relationship wasn't perfect. But if Tony tried to make it work, then it had to mean something to him.

"Tony, you don't have to worry," she encouraged him, trying to be the attentively-listening friend. "I want to know the truth. So, just tell me. Don't be afraid." Their friendship was more important than her selfish desire for him to be single right now.

He cleared his throat, cursing himself for the way she had found out about his relationship. But maybe it was for the better, because he knew he would have been a coward and probably withheld Zoe's existence in his life. "Yes, she's my girlfriend." he confirmed finally. He felt some relief at the admission, but he also felt his shame.

She withdrew her hand and smiled at him when he tried to catch it, thinking she had gotten angry with him. But she had only decided to be the friend he needed. And for that, she needed to look him up and down and observe him closely. She could always read his body language quite well, and she needed to be sure if he wasn't trying to lie to her.

"How long have you been together?" she asked, out of both curiosity and the desire to find out how serious the relationship actually was.

"About a year now," he replied calmly, relief taking over. The shame was configured into confusion and uncertainty. He didn't like the fact that she hadn't shown any visible reaction to his relationship status. Still, he felt better that she finally knew it about it.

She nodded contemplatively, narrowing her eyes at him sternly. "Why isn't she here with you, then?" she asked him. "Why aren't you spending Christmas together?" After spending a year together in a serious relationship, then spending Christmas as a couple should be one of the first tests.

He rubbed his temple again, trying to find a good angle in which to approach the subject. But, in the end, he realized that the truth was the only option. "Because her idea of getting me back into a Christmas mood is taking me to her parents' house and spending holidays with her family," he said sullenly. "When said 'no', she said I was afraid to commit." For some reason, Zoe just didn't understand what he was going through and why he felt so bad. She had tried to improve his mood, yes. But she had never comprehended the cause of his behavior.

She blinked in response, unsurprised. The whole commitment issue was very valid when it came to Tony. No wonder things between them were tense. "Is that true?" she asked him curiously, wondering what his answer would be. Defensive, of course, she counted on that. But she was more curious about the reason he would use.

Despite the fact that he knew could only blame himself for his reputation, he sighed wearily. It was tiring, sometimes, to fight against all the prejudices people had about him. "Ziva, you know me," he said. "Look at me. Do you really think I could go into my girlfriend's parents' house, spend the holidays with them and make any good impression on them in the state I'm in?" He was desperate for anyone to finally understand what he was going through and support him for once. "I'm not fine and I'm not going to pretend that I am," he went on, refusing to play a perfectly balanced Anthony DiNozzo. And the pretence he had been showing for the last few months was getting on his nerves.

"OK, you have a point there," she conceded, raising her hands defensively. Grumpy Tony was adorable to watch from time to time, but to stand against him and try to prove him wrong was hard. And he truly was right in this matter. Pretending his inner well-being was balanced was bearable for a few months, but it wasn't a long-term solution.

He thanked her with a smile, still unsure of her intentions. He hadn't expected this kind of interest in his relationship. She didn't ask anything personal about Zoe. She seemed to investigate his angle, instead. He didn't know why she kept the curiosity so light, he knew she was dying of curiosity inside. But he was careful enough to not give away anything unnecessary. He would wait for her breaking point.

She watched him for a long second, trying to read his thoughts that apparently concerned her, judging by the searching gaze he was giving her. "Does she know where you are?" She asked.

He shook his head in refusal. "No. Actually, no one knows," he explained. "Everyone just know that I'm somewhere in Europe. Only McGee knows I'm here." Tim had been his best option for someone who had to know where he was. He trusted him the most.

She pursed her lips contemplatively, wondering what she could do for him. Summing up this conversation, she tried to find a starting point so he could gain his inner Christmas spirit back. So, he was alone in a foreign city that he had never been to. Naturally, he was trying to run as far away from DC as possible, while avoiding memories of her in other European cities.

His relationships with those around him weren't good, though he'd always had someone to turn to if he needed. He didn't seem happy, or balanced. A lot of things were troubling him and, even though he had tried to, he was failing to deal with them. He was looking for an escape from reality, that was for sure. Fortunately for him, she had quite a bit of experience in that, so she was sure she could help him.

"OK, so what about this," she offered warmly. "I will be your tour guide and I'll show you everything there is to see in Prague on Christmas." She wanted to do something for him after he had done so much for her without asking for anything in return. She finally had the chance to pay off part of her debt.

For the first time since he had started letting it all out, he smiled for real. The offer made him feel very happy and blessed to be in her presence again. He wasn't sure what this meeting might do with their lives nor what would happen after that. Whether they would stay in contact or not, and what change it might bring. He was just genuinely joyous to spend some time with her. He could think about the consequences and outcomes later.

He couldn't help but imagine the two of them spending Christmas together. It was his long-time dream, after all. It was the last drop of hope he had when he allowed himself to fantasize about what it would be like if he and Ziva had ever gotten together. Not that he did it often, but no one could control their own dreams. And his dreamland was a realm that the Israeli woman ventured into quite regularly.

Walking through the snowy streets, hand in hand, in the evenings was one of his most frequent visions. Then it all followed. Drinking mulled wine, punch, grog, eggnog, hot chocolate or whatever liquid that was common on Christmas, in front of the Christmas tree. Cuddling together under the duvet to warm themselves up while having a Christmas movies marathon. Tasting her delicious lips, exploring her feminine curves, touching her heated skin, letting the unbridled passion between them explode and give in to their desires...

He squirmed in his chair to disperse his fantasies. "That sound great," he agreed, wiggling his eyebrows at her. He was starting to feel like his good old DiNozzo charm was streaming his veins again.

She returned his smile, shining with happiness. She had always felt good in his company and, if she could, she would help him with pleasure. "Excellent," she said. "Let's pay and go. And prepare yourself. We are going to do a lot of walking," she teased him as she waved her hand at the waiter. Tony let out a fake groan. He couldn't wait for this little Christmas adventure to start.

_**The End of the Chapter 3** _

* * *

* Former Jesuit College from 16th century, now used as National Library of the Czech Republic. Baroque Library Hall inside is considered as one of the most beautiful library halls in the world.

** Honeycake – Czech honey and caramel cake, unique piece from Czech cuisine made according to an old Bohemian recipe with Slavic roots.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 4** _

Stepping out of the café and into the artificially illuminated darkness, they both shivered at the wave of cold air that hit them. Ziva swiftly pulled on her gloves, watching as Tony struggled to button up his coat. She stopped his fingers gently and adjusted the scarf around his neck. He smiled at her, appreciating the gesture. He then pulled on his own gloves.

They made the last few steps to reach the end of the street and turned left onto some little square. Looking around and admiring some of the beautiful buildings as they walked, they eventually reached a building that looked like a church of some sorts. The advertisement in front of the entrance asked lured in visitors with a handicrafts exhibition.

It was too bad that they were closing in a few minutes, Tony thought, because he would have liked to see all the woodworking and glassmaking techniques, basketwork, shoemaking and all of the old techniques used in making everyday things. He'd never had the patience with doing such things, so he admired anyone who did. The only handiwork he had ever been able to carry out was what they had ordered him to make in school. And knowing those results, he appreciated anyone who was capable to make such beautiful things with his/her own hands.

She noticed his slight disappointment, wondering if he really wanted to go to the exhibition, or if it was just general sadness that he could never manage to see everything that was worth seeing. "We'll stop by here tomorrow." She suggested comfortingly, touching his back soothingly.

He rewarded her with a grin, both because he would get to see the exhibition, and because she had just confirmed that she was going to spend more time with him after tonight.

"What exactly is that place?" He asked her, testing her history knowledge. Considering that she was taking history courses, he figured that she should know something about important historical buildings all over the world. And if she had visited Prague, then she had to know something about Prague's famous buildings.

She chuckled at his attempt to test her, quite pleased with herself that she had an answer for him. "It's the Bethlehem Chapel, actually," she began. "A very important religious building. It's mostly connected to the Bohemian Reformation, a Christian reformation movement that was one of the predecessors of Protestant Reformation* in 16th century."

He hummed in appreciation, giving her a look to ask her for more. She smiled, knowing that he wasn't that much into history. But she knew that he loved when she talked about something that interested her. Mostly because he loved her voice.

"The most well-known representative of the Bohemian Reformation," she went on, "Jan Hus, used to preach here in the beginning of 15th century. Before the Church excommunicated him and burnt him at the stake. His execution didn't stop his followers, though. So the Hussite Wars began." She seemed to be reciting from a book. He watched her with interest, deciding that he should call her Hermione Granger from now on. "The Church sent several crusades against them," she continued. "But none of them were successful. The wars ended with a peace agreement between the Hussites and the Church of Rome. The people here are very proud of this part of their history, but more for the national context than the religious one." She looked up at the building and for a while, wondering what it had looked like those 600 years ago.

He clapped his gloved hands when she finished. "Wow," he said. "I didn't know you knew so much about Christian history." He decided that he liked this new, sophisticated Ziva. She would make a wonderful teacher and, as a boy, he would have loved to have such a woman teach him. She would definitely be the first crush for a lot of boys.

She answered with a chuckle, turning to him with an amused face. "It's impossible to learn about European history and know nothing about Christianity." She pointed out patiently. The history of Europe was connected to the Christian faith, that was an undeniable fact. Especially when it came to the Middle Ages. And currently, she was mostly deepening her knowledge of this country's medieval history.

"And just because I'm Jewish doesn't mean I'm not interested in the history of other religions," she added, recalling her amazing month in Japan the previous year, when she'd gotten to learn more about Shinto. She always tried to learn as much as she could about the world and its unique parts.

He raised his hands defensively, but with a smile on his face. "OK, Professor David," he said with a laugh. "I can't wait to hear your knowledge of the history of the next thing I ask about." He quite enjoyed seeing her knowledge skills instead of her ninja ones. And he was unimaginably proud of her.

She rolled her eyes at him, unable to fight the blush in her cheeks. She was grateful for the darkness. The street lights couldn't reveal how flattered she was. She really had worked hard to get there, and if someone appreciated it, then she knew that she had done a good job. And a compliment from Tony was especially exceptional for her.

"Move." She pushed him forward, eager to reach at least one of the destinations she had had in mind to visit tonight.

He had expected it though, having seen her initial movement in the corner of his eye. So, when she shoved him, he reacted immediately. Before she could pull her hand back, he took her by the arm as he stumbled forward and yanked her with him. She yelped, but then awarded his ears with the wonderful sound of her laughter as she bumped into his side, trying to regain her balance.

He helped her steady herself, beaming at her and inconspicuously intertwining their fingers through the thick layers of their gloves. She looked up at him, the laughter still bubbling inside of her. But she was aware of how tenderly he was holding her hand. At first she thought she should just ignore it. But then she squeezed his hand.

He winked at her and looked straight ahead, seeing that the street in front of him ended with a house, and they had to turn either right or left. "So, which way now?" He asked her, watching her raise her hand and, without a word, point to the right.

He set off, still holding her hand firmly. But he ended up stopping in his tracks, confused. In front of them, now, was another crossroad that was offering them three ways to go. She confidently chose the middle one, taking him with her.

"Where are you taking me?" He asked.

She raked her hair with her free hand as she led him up a step on the pavement. "I want to stop by a Spanish Synagogue to buy tickets for a concert," she replied. "I've gone to it before and I think you'll love it." Prague – actually, all of the Czech lands – was deeply connected with classical music. Especially during Christmas, the venues were packed event after event, giving locals and tourists countless options for an unforgettable, artistic experience.

"What kind of music?" He inquired. He wasn't sure if he would be into any classical music, which is what this concert seemed to be, but he had to admit that it did have the gift of being unobtrusive when he needed to focus on something. And he liked the idea of attending such a classical concert with her in a Synagogue. He could tell that she didn't only want to show him Christmas Prague, but that she also wanted to share her roots with him.

"Well, they do thematic, classical concerts," she said. "The one I went on was focused on Ravel's Bolero, but they also played other famous pieces from Verdi and Bizet. And, of course, Jewish songs." They passed a group of people who were standing in front of the nearby hotel, and she immediately released his hand.

He followed her and immediately took her hand again, waiting for her to finish the second part of her speech. "If I remember correctly, tomorrow's theme is 'The Best World and Czech Classical Music'," she went on. "So I think there will be pieces from Mozart, Bach, Smetana, and Dvorak. The Jewish part should then be represented by Bernstein and Gershwin." She fought against the warm feeling deep down in her stomach caused by his unrelenting need to be as close to her as he could.

He gave her a reassuring smile. He actually didn't care about what kind of music it would be, as long as he could be with her. "And a Spanish Synagogue?" He asked her, gouging her knowledge again. "Does it have anything to do with Spain?"

"Well, not with Spain, really," she replied. "It has a breathtaking Moorish interior that is inspired by the Alhambra in Granada." They reached the end of the street and turned left.

"Sounds great, I can't wait." He said. With her, everything seemed so exciting and worthwhile.

They found themselves in front of a little square with a crowd of people, because this was another place for the Christmas-time markets. "But first," she said with a smile, "you have to see one of the best things during Christmas holidays – Christmas markets!" She pointed at the wooden sales booths with Christmas decorations all over.

His eyes lit up with unfeigned Christmas joy, the wave of excitement hitting him like a jolt of electricity. Before she knew it, he had dragged her to the other side, not caring that they were standing in the middle of the road. He took another step and was on the square. He needed to be in the centre of all the buzz among the wooden sales booth with red roofs, Christmas decorations and lights.

They looked around, trying to decide where to start. Ziva didn't have to think twice, though. Despite eating the cake in the café not even half an hour ago, her sweet tooth was craving something good. She squeezed his hand to gain his attention and nodded in the direction of one of the sales booths. He answered with a nod and started their way over to it.

"Have you ever had one of these?" She asked as they joined the line of people waiting in front of a sales booth with a 'Trdelník' inscription above it.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I got one before I saw you. It's delicious." He watched the production of the sweet pastry.

The baker took the dough and rolled it out into a thin noodle. Then he divided it into smaller noodles and took a stick into his hand. As he turned the stick, he winded the dough up it, creating the shape of the pastry. When the stick was full, with four pieces on it, the baker put it on a grill next to other sticks that were turning all the way around, baking the dough until it was golden-brown.

Once the pastries on the stick were done baking, the baker took the stick and put it on a plate that contained powdery mixture of nuts, vanilla sugar and powdered sugar. He rolled the stick across the plate, pressing the pastries into the mixture while they were still warm. With this procedure, the pastry was done, so he carefully removed the pastries from the stick without destroying their rolled shape.

"And have you had the Nutella version?" She asked Tony with a playful glint in her eyes, licking her lips as she watched the saleswoman wrapping a done pastry into a napkin and giving it to a customer.

"Nutella version?" He echoed, more of a statement rather than a question. His mouth watered at the thought of mixing this delicious pastry with the hazelnut-and-chocolate substance.

She winked at him teasingly, ordering a normal pastry and a Nutella version with a non-alcoholic hot punch. Tony watched with rapt attention as the saleswoman took the jar of Nutella, dipped the knife inside and thoroughly filled the hole of the pastry with the Ferrero's delicacy. He certainly couldn't resist such an offer, it was too alluring.

He almost didn't notice that Ziva handed him the two cups with punch while she was taking care of paying and taking the pastries into her hands. They stepped aside from the crowd, trying to figure out how to juggle all they had ordered. With amusement, he took a sip from his punch, careful not to burn his tongue while she stood there helplessly, nibbling on her bottom lip.

Then, as if she had suddenly made a decsion, she bit into her pastry and offered him to bit into his Nutella one. He smiled at it, realizing that she must have been deciding whether to feed him or not. But there was no one around who would care about whether they were a couple or just friends.

He bit onto the upper part of the pastry, tearing it apart. He tried to catch the bottom part and ended up getting some of the Nutella on his face, making Ziva giggle. Humming in delight when he started to chew, he showed her that he didn't even care. He offered his companion her punch, and she gratefully accepted, carefully taking a sip from the un-sipped cup in his hands.

Tony soon finished his pastry, mostly because he wanted to free Ziva's hands of the burden and let her eat freely. Even though she seemed to be having fun feeding him. "Well, that was certainly very tasty." He commented, downing the last pieces of his pastry with the punch.

She giggled and pointed to her face where he had some Nutella stains on his own. He immediately started to wipe it off. She decided to help him, scooping the stain he had on his nose and sticking it into her mouth. He stiffened at the adorable gesture at first, not having expected her to be so intimate, but then he had given in to it. After all, they had always been quite comfortable with each other.

She nodded in the direction of the street in front of them that was full of wooden sales booths and a huge crowd of people in the process of buying stuff. "Come on, there are bigger markets over there." She said between the chews, accepting her cup from him.

"Sure, I need to buy a lot of stuff." He agreed, taking her hand to hold it in place as he leaned down and bit onto her pastry, playfully winking at her after she glared at him.

They crossed the street to get into the pedestrian zone that served as the Christmas markets. From the very first moment, it was obvious that they wouldn't know where to look first. "You don't have to go on a shopping spree, okay? We have enough time to stop by here tomorrow. I still want you to take a walk around the city tonight." She pointed out, hoping that he wouldn't buy anything too heavy for them to drag around with them.

He listened to her advice and the first sales booth he visited was one with all types of souvenirs, including backpacks. He chose a simple black backpack with 'Prague' inscription on it along something that was probably the Prague crest. He didn't care much how it looked, though. It was just for carrying the things he was going to buy. He planned on buying things like crazy.

He immediately set to work on proving that. They thoroughly examined sales booth after sales booth. He couldn't get enough of all the stuff, mainly those typical for Christmas and handcrafts. His eyes studied Christmas baubles in various shapes and colours in admiration. The main themes were angels, snowflakes and snow in general, always depicting something related to Christmas.

What he especially liked, though, were the straw Christmas ornaments. He couldn't resist, and ended up buying a set with small angels, snowflakes and wreaths. He loved the combination of the rustic yellow straw tied up with red strands into a lovely shape. And that wasn't all. There were several sales booths offering Christmas ornaments like baubles, angels, wreaths, mistletoes, garlands and small trees. If he could have, he would have bought everything.

Ziva followed him, explaining to him what was and what and the meaning behind it was, if she knew it. Sometimes, she would look at something for herself, but she mostly wanted to give Tony the chance to enjoy himself. She could see his inner child had pretty much take over. But sometimes, she still could see the haggard, tired man from earlier.

So, she always tried to give him some information about what they were looking at to keep his mind occupied and fascinated. It was intrinsically rewarding to see that she was successful most of the time, helping him get rid of his moments of depression. Not that she felt personally responsible for how he felt, but she knew very well that things would have been different if she had supported him in person in DC.

He showed interest in almost everything they passed by. It didn't matter whether it was some sales booth with herbs and herbal product – mostly produced from lavender and thyme – or a booth that offered bath salts. To her amusement, he bought a mixture of salts, but the teasing smile got frozen on her face when he hinted at a shared bath.

It wasn't hard to imagine herself and Tony having a bath together. Their naked bodies melted into each other, soaking up in the hot water, letting the salts to do their work on their skins. Mirrors misted as the hot steam filled the bathroom. The close contact that would drive her crazy. Their mouths fused together because she wouldn't be able to have a bath with him and not kiss him.

She stared at him in disbelief, clearly shocked by her own lustful imagination as he turned to his next target of interest – beeswax candles. He loved the smell of the wax because it was so unique and different from all the other candles he'd ever smelled. The honey-odour was unmistakable and homely, and what he liked most was the beehive structure of the wax. He bought a few of them in various shapes and sizes, smiling at Ziva as she joined him in smelling after she had snapped out of her reverie.

They then explored all the handmade products; from various textiles and fabrics that were used to make tablecloths, runners, napkins, scarves, caps or gloves; to basketworks, woodcarvings, and ceramics. Most of the cloth-made materials were embroidered with Christmas themes like snowflakes, Christmas trees, candles, hollies, nuts, coniferous branches, etc. Neither of them resisted, and they both bought at least something to enrich their homes.

What caught Tony's attention a lot was the blacksmith's sales booth that didn't offer just various blacksmith's products and weapons, but also jewellery with medieval, Celtic and Gothic designs. And not only did they sell this stuff, they also made it right in front of the customers. It was interesting to watch it and see the beautiful jewels that Abby would certainly love being made.

But that wasn't the only booth offering jewellery. More booths were full of various trendy accessories and other trinkets. Prague and Czech souvenirs, badges, patches, pendants and charms, toys for children made out of wood, plushies – you name it. He especially fell in love with a plush toy called 'Krteček' – it was a mole and, as he was told, it was an animated character from a Czech cartoon for children. He didn't even feel guilty about buying one because the toy was so innocently adorable that he had to have it.

And then there was the food. Ziva had a hard time keeping Tony from eating everything he laid his eyes on. He was completely unstoppable, wanting taste every bit of food from every sales booth. She had to inform him several times that he was drooling as he watched all the food around, just waiting for him to eat it.

The whole range of sausages, or kielbasas as they called them here, was roasting on the grill, creating amazing smell in the air. He watched people buying them and eating them with bread and mustard or ketchup. If Ziva wasn't watching over him, he would have bought a pair. But she had in plan to take him to a restaurant for dinner, so he wasn't allowed to eat anything that would ruin his appetite.

He had gotten a promise, though, that he could taste all the goodies tomorrow. So he put kielbasa and bramborák** on his food list alongside jars of interestingly looking stuff – nákladaný hermelín*** and utopenci****. Screw diets, he had been so stressed lately that he hadn't been eating much anyway. And he could always use the gym at NCIS that was opened 24/7 back in DC. It was time to unleash his taste buds.

As they had agreed on, he added on to his mental, to-buy-tomorrow list various liquids, because glass bottles were too heavy to drag with them for the rest of the evening. So mead, wine and beer had to wait for the next day. But he was fine with that. He got to taste it all tonight and that was enough for him for now. Plus, he managed to buy a large cup of punch when she wasn't looking, so he was satisfied.

Honey was another thing he had to forget about for tonight but he didn't give up of buying various sweets he bumped into. He bought a few packages of nut mixtures and candies, humming in delight over roasted chestnuts he'd always wanted to make at home but had always forgotten to. And he spent a suspiciously long time around a sales booth with gingerbread products of various shapes; mostly cottages, hearts, Christmas trees, angels and bells.

After another tasting session, he decided he had fallen in love with Czech Christmas cookies and bought a box of them. Especially the Linzer cookies he'd tasted many times before in different countries. They usually had a round shape with jam between the two cookies, making the pastry incredibly soft. There were also some vanilla crescents made out of nut dough, wrapped in a sugar that melted in his mouth.

He attentively listened to Ziva's explanation about the differences between 'vánočka' and 'challah', which were both sweet braided breads and looked absolutely the same. Some of the ingredients were different, though, along with their meanings. While 'challah' was Jewish and was eaten on Shabbat and Jewish holidays – actually being blessed as one of the first meals during Shabbat and there had to be two loaves of them – 'vánočka' was purely Christmas-related, because the form of the bread interpreted the sculpture of baby Jesus wrapped in a cloth and lying in the manger.

Whatever meaning the breads had, 'vánočka' was delicious. He couldn't even describe how happy he felt as the Christmas atmosphere engulfed him with her by his side. It was like a miracle, and he enjoyed every second of it. She'd opened a new door to Christmas for him, because it was obvious that she had studied Christmas traditions and such about Prague before she had gone on this trip. It was indescribably amazing to listen to her voice all the time.

When they reached the end of the market, he noticed three large tubs with water and immediately went to investigate what was going on. "What are these?" He asked.

"Carps from manmade ponds." She replied as she saw him approach carefully one of the tubs, peeking inside as if he were afraid that a shark could jump up at him.

He imitated the fish in tub and their silent mouth opening and closing. "Why carps?" He asked next, watching as a woman chose one of the fish and the salesman pulled it out of the water, killed it, and started to carve the meat.

She closed her eyes, so she wouldn't see the carp's death and the blood all over. She remembered the moment she'd seen this the first time, considering it inhuman. The salesman had said something about circle of life and she had been mad at him for it. Later, she'd realized that the man had been telling the truth. These animals were breed for humans to eat them. Most of the time, though, she just didn't see the way they died and only worked with the final product.

"Well, just as Americans eat roast turkey or other things with stuffing and mashed potatoes and gravy," she explained, "Czech Christmas dinners consist of fried carp and potato salad. Carps are widely sold around Christmas, and you can either have the salesman kill it for you, or you can take it home, keep it in the bathtub, and kill it later."

"How do you know all of that?" Suddenly, he could no longer resist asking this question. She was like a book. An incredibly sexy book. And he loved it. But the amount of knowledge was starting to really amaze him. She'd been always sophisticated and knowledgeable, but this was a new level.

She smiled at him mischievously, flattered by his laudatory tone. "Before I went on this trip, I read a lot about the local Christmas traditions. Plus," she went on, "I've gone to a few expositions about them. The Czech Christmas is actually very traditional with stuff like fortune telling, especially marriages. Then there are lots of other customs that supposedly help with abundance, happiness and protection." She took him by the arm and lead him straight ahead and out of the Christmas markets. They had spent quite a long time there, and she needed to buy the tickets before the synagogue closed.

"Then, the Czech Christmas dinner is the most festive dinner of the year," she continued, "filled with lots of customs. It's served after sunset, traditionally after the first star has come out. Everyone has to finish their meals and no one can stand up from the table before the dinner is finished. And there are lots of other customs and rules, too. It's really interesting." They stopped at the corner as they reached the crossroads. She wanted to assure herself that he didn't need anything else and they could continue in their journey.

He hummed in appreciation, finishing the rest of the roasted chestnuts. "I wonder what the carp tastes like," he suggested innocently. "I've never had one."

She had to shake her head at him in amusement, giving him a wide smile. "That's why I didn't want you to eat anything else. Because the carp and potato salad dinner is the typical Czech Christmas dinner, it's made in almost every restaurant at this time of the year," she explained. "I'm going to take you to one." She watched as his eyes lit up. She was apparently making him very happy with how much time she wanted to spend with him.

"OK, but it's my treat," he informed her, raising his finger. "And I don't want to hear a word." She had already done enough for him, including the café.

She opened her mouth in protest, but he stopped her with a gentle touch of finger on her lips. She had to fight both the strong urge to lick his finger and the smell of vanilla that kept lingering on his hand from when he had tasted the Christmas cookies. She also knew it was useless to argue with him when he had made up his mind. She still vividly remembered their dinners in DC and his unbeatable desire to pay for the meals every time.

"Fine." She agreed with a slight nod, trying not to melt at the sight of his smile. She turned and pointed at the street ahead. "So, now we will go..." She began, taking a step forward. But he grabbed her by her arm.

"Wait. I want to give you something." He said, getting all serious all of a sudden. He had bought her a gift at the markets, and he wasn't sure when to give it to her. His initial idea had been to do so in the end of tonight's trip, but this seemed like an appropriate moment, too.

She didn't even get the chance to protest, because he immediately bent down and started to rummage in his backpack. She just stood there, confused, wondering why he had even bought something for her. Especially considering that she hadn't noticed him buying anything that would resemble a present for her. And she had watched him like a hawk.

He found what he was looking for and straightened back up. "Here." He offered unceremoniously, acting uncharacteristically shy. He was nervous, unsure if she would like the gift or not, and how she might take it.

She gasped in surprise as she took the gingerbread heart from his hands, examining it carefully. She traced her fingers across the icing decorations on it, unable to take her eyes off of its beauty. The edges imitated a simple embroidery of half circles, and half of the heart was fully with the white icing and a single red rose drawn on it. The rose was accompanied by other, smaller, red flowers that gently framed words written in white icing on the second half of the heart – 'z lásky'. "From Love"

It was such a simple and romantic gesture that tugged at her heart, making her all giddy inside. Yes, it was simple – maybe even cheesy – but this kind of simplicity and cheesiness was exactly what made it so special and unique. It was an expression one's emotions in a situation where that person couldn't find the right words to say them. The heart is such a simple symbol of love.

At that moment, it hit her. A _symbol of love..._ She couldn't help but wonder what kind of love he was trying to express here. Undeniably, there was still something between them. She had felt it when he had hugged her on the bridge, and whenever he looked at her. But it was something she couldn't quite fathom. He was still very careful with his feelings towards her, not giving her enough signals to really analyze him.

Sure, she longed for that crazy type of amorous love from him that would sweep her off her feet. But it had a few 'buts' that she had to take into consideration. First, he had a girlfriend. No matter that they were apparently having problems in their relationship and things weren't perfect. He still wasn't a single man. And she didn't want to become 'the other woman'. She had always disdained that position.

Second, regardless of her feelings for him and how strong they were, anything like love would only complicate things. They had parted two years ago under certain circumstances and nothing had changed since then. She was still in the middle of her journey, and she had vowed to finish it. Both for herself and for him. Leaving it behind would mean breaking a promise she had given him.

That left her with only one option as to what kind of love he was trying to express through this gingerbread gift. Love of pure friendship. A friendly gesture, nothing more. Just a sweet and edible trinket she could cherish because it was given to her by him. She tried to find at least a miniature peace of joy inside her to appreciate this gesture, but she couldn't find it. Her heart desired something else.

She got another blow when he spoke up after watching her for a while in an attempt to see some sort of reaction out of her. "It's just a little thank you for doing this all this for me." He said carefully, nervous with her sudden silence. It couldn't be a sign of anything good.

Her breath hitched, and she had to fight back the tear in the corner of her eye. But she recovered quickly, swallowing her disappointment and burying it deep down to lock it up. Of course, this wasn't a place to make any hopes for the two of them. Right now, her heart had to step back and she had to use her common sense.

This had been an accidental meeting. She hadn't expected to meet him here, and he hadn't expected to meet her here, either. After the Christmas vacation was over, she would return back to Israel and to her friends, her history courses and the life she had built over there. He would return back to DC and his life, his job, his... girlfriend. She had to stop being so selfish and hope for something that couldn't happen under the circumstances.

"Tony, you didn't have to buy me anything." She protested uncertainly, her eyes glued to the heart. She didn't dare look into his eyes. She was too afraid to see the confirmation of this being a friendly gesture.

He swallowed the invisible lump in his throat, wondering what she was thinking. He had just given her the heart as a symbol of all the love he felt for her. But because he couldn't express it, he'd chosen this way. "I know. But I wanted to." He replied in all seriousness, still closely watching her in attempt to read her.

Something in his voice, the sincerity or the heartiness, finally made her lift her head up and look at him. In an instant, she knew that she had to rethink the purpose of the gift. Because the way he was looking at her, the intense gaze he was giving her, spoke volumes, and she couldn't ignore it. She didn't have to guess anymore what kind of love he tried to express.

Now he waited for her to make a choice. She could take it as a friendly gesture, certainly. He wouldn't have anything against that. If she decided to see only friendship behind the heart, then he was willing to be the friend she wanted. She didn't have to search for more, although there _was_ more. But if she didn't want to see it and wanted to ignore it, then he would bury it, again, and be fine with what he had.

His gaze gave away too much, though. It confessed a lot more than platonic friendship. The profound love, deeply embedded in his heart and streaming through his veins, mirrored in his green eyes, resulting in one of the most intense looks she'd ever encountered. She felt her head spin and her knees tremble as they weakened, and she wasn't sure if she could stand steady.

It reminded her a lot the look he'd given her two years ago in Israel. She still had it burnt in her mind. It haunted her in her dreams. The plaintive expression. The puppy-like eyes. His croaky voice. How broken he had sounded when he had begged her to come back with him. To him. All she had wanted back then was to kiss away all the pain, but she had known that it was impossible.

But this look had ten thousand times more intensity to it. Maybe because it was stripped of the pain, and filled only with the love he had stopped fighting because it wasn't necessary to anymore. Unknowingly, he had let the love for her seize his heart in an attempt to 'move on'. But the exact opposite happened – he fell in love with her even harder. He never realized that until now, seeing her face-to-face, looking her in the eye.

The gift was, by all means, a romantic gesture. Her heart leapt up in her chest with joy, but she tried to suppress it. She hugged the gingerbread heart with her right hand and closed the distance between them, standing up on her tiptoes. She leaned in, putting her left hand on his right cheek and kissed him softly on the other one.

"Thank you." She whispered into his ear gratefully, hearing him to purr in delight.

She couldn't help but chuckle softly, earning another purr that he tried but failed to stifle. Caressing his cheek with her fingers, she pulled away and looked at him, sending him a sweet smile. He watched her, trying to fight the urge to grab her and kiss her. In the end, he lost the fight. The moment she went to step away from him, he took a hold of her left arm, keeping her close.

She gasped, but didn't resist. Instead, she looked into his eyes and before slipping them down to his lips, slowly giving in to the desire they both apparently had. The kiss would be sinful and wrong in all ways but to taste the sweetness was for more pleasant. It would be just a simple kiss, nothing more. Just one, innocent kiss...

Butterflies in her stomach started to toss back and forth as buried the fingers of his free hand into her hair. She saw his eyes darken with desire as he studied her, seeking permission. And she was too weak to put an end to this. So she licked her lips in anticipation as her eyes switched back and forth between his eyes and his lips, leaning her head back to give him the space for the kiss.

Completely enchanted and totally ignoring the nagging voice in his head that was trying to warn him against this, he breathed out to relieve the tension. The only thing he focused on was her slightly-parted lips and half-closed eyes as she waited for him to take the final step. To join their mouths together. To kiss her passionately. To give them both what they were both dying for.

He didn't waste another second and bent down, softly capturing her lips. Before he could, deepen the kiss and let the world around them disappear, they were torn apart unexpectedly. Some man had crashed into them as he was talking with his friend, completely oblivious to the world around him. It threw Ziva off balance, but Tony still had her arm, and he supported her.

"Oh, sorry." The man immediately apologized, clearly recognizing the foreigners.

"It's okay. Nothing happened." Ziva assured him, knowing that they could only blame themselves. They stood at the corner of the street so if anyone just turned from the other street without looking, crash would be inevitable.

The man apologized once again and left, leaving the couple standing there staring at each other. Tony unconsciously touched his lips, realizing how close he had been to that sweet kiss. Looking at her, though, it was clear that they both knew that the magic of the moment was broken. Their common senses were working again, and they wouldn't let them give in to the desire. It was too dangerous.

Deciding to sweep it under the carpet for the time being, he cleared his throat and pointed his finger straight ahead. "So, this way now?" He asked her, trying to sound casual.

"Yes." She nodded in agreement, joining him in the effort to put this 'moment of weakness' aside and focus on their journey to revive the Christmas spirit.

_**The End of Chapter 4** _

* * *

* Protestant Reformation led to many religious wars which culminated in the Thirty Years' War in 17th century, changing the religious and political map of Europe forever.

** Potato Pancake

*** Pickled Cheese – soft cheese, usually Camembert or Brie, marinated in oil and spices with onion and peppers. Widely eaten in Czech pubs as snack to beer.

**** Translation is "Drowned Men" – pickled bratwursts in sweet-sour vinegar marinade with black pepper, bay leaves, onion and chili peppers. Again, Czech pub snack to beer.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 5** _

They continued walking through the street, each thoroughly lost in his and her own thoughts. But this silence wasn't the awkward kind that usually settled between them. They were both mulling over what had just happened. How the passion had gotten better of them and how to prevent it from now on. As much as they wanted something more than a kiss to happen, they were aware of the not-so-good consequences that such an act might bring.

Tony looked over at her, watching as she closely examined the windows of the shops they went past by. He couldn't but wonder what was holding her back, and why she was so hesitant. He had a reason to hold himself back. If he put aside the fact that she had broken his heart so he had a reason to protect himself, he wasn't a single man. And no matter in what state his relationship with Zoe was at the moment, he wasn't an unfaithful man.

Cheating on someone wasn't his thing, as incredible as it might sound due to his womanizer reputation. He just didn't like it and it repelled him to cheat on someone with whom he was in relationship with. It was disrespect of that relationship. Otherwise, he could right away break up with that woman and didn't have to lie and hide, be unfaithful and trying to cover it.

That was why he started to consider whether she wasn't in a relationship with someone, as well. She had hesitated to tell him that she was here alone and she wasn't revealing too much about her personal life so far. She was actually avoiding that topic. So, she either had a boyfriend or her wariness to become intimate with him was caused by his relationship, because she respected the fact that he had a girlfriend.

"So, what about you?" He asked her carefully, trying to sound very casually as if they were discussing a movie they had seen a few days ago. "Some men in your life?"

She sighed wearily and stepped aside at the beginning of a very narrow street, letting people pass. Just out of the habit, she looked up at the memorial plaque of Egon Erwin Kisch that was placed on the wall of his birth house, House at the Two Golden Bears.* She knew that this question would come sooner or later and for the most of the time, she pondered how to answer on it.

"Was. Not anymore." She replied simply, leading him through the narrow street full of people as the buzz around them was getting stronger. It was obvious that they were heading to a packed and significant place.

"How come?" He persisted, wanting to know who the man was and what happened that he belonged to past, already. They stepped aside again at the entrance to Starbucks to avoid people who were going in an opposite direction.

She squirmed, not feeling well about this questioning. It wasn't because it would hurt to talk about her relationship that hadn't ended up well. She only started to understand why he had been so restrained while talking about that Zoe-girl. Considering his feelings for her and her feelings for him, it just felt weird to talk about her relations of a romantic nature with other men. Especially after that almost-kiss from a few minutes ago.

"It just didn't work out." She explained quickly, hoping that it would be enough for him. "We didn't understand each other in a way we wanted and needed.". She wasn't in the mood to describe the troubles of hiding her past from her ex-boyfriend who sometimes couldn't have understood her behaviour.

He had another question ready to fire at her, but it died on his lips once they came out of the street and found themselves in front of a square. And what a square it was. The picturesque buildings around them framed the huge square packed with crowds of people. He could see Christmas markets and people everywhere like bees in a hive. The buzz ringing in his ears completely captivated him as his only focus was the Christmas tree nearby.

It was a huge tree, above 20 metres high, definitely a spruce. The colours were gold and blue themed with Christmas decorations he couldn't quite identify from the distance. What caught his attention were other Christmas decorations that looked like some kind of a bauble shining into the night and indicating a snowfall. The comet on the top of the tree completed the fairytale-like image.

It was beautiful. The Christmas scenery was just breathtaking. He could feel the festive spirit in his veins, pumping the festive blood into his heart. That was what he needed to get back to his old self. "I want near that tree." He immediately requested, ready to either squeeze himself between the crowds, or force his way through them. But he wanted to be close to the shining beauty and let the Christmas lights enchant him.

She pulled him back, though, stopping him from heading towards the tree. "We will go there, Tony, but later." She reasoned urgently. "The square is stuffed, it would take us a ages to get near that tree." She knew that late night hours were better for the visit. And she was already in a time press since the ticket office at the synagogue was closing soon.

He pondered for a while whether to listen to her or not, but then he admitted that she was right. The tree wasn't going anywhere and it seemed that the only way how to get to the tree at the moment was to be a very rude tourist. And he didn't want to be like that. People in here seemed to be very friendly when he was very friendly to them, as well. No need to destroy his reputation.

"OK, fine. But why is this place so crowded?" He wondered, finally looking around himself and perceiving the number of people around them. People were everywhere he could see, arriving and leaving from all directions.

She pointed her finger at the tower on the right that was apparently the main attraction for the tourists as they stood in front of it and waited for something. "Do you know what this building is?" She asked him, curious whether he knew actually something about Prague. After all, he had chosen the destination for a reason, hadn't he?

He looked around to take into his surroundings and tried to recognize some spots that would give him a clue. He saw the monumental building of the Church of Our Lady Before Týn as it dominated the scenery behind the Christmas tree. Undeniably, this had to be the Old Town Square. This scenery was one of the most known from Prague, aside the view on Prague Castle.

So, if this was the Old Town Square, then the tower had to be the Old Town Hall. And part of this town hall was... "Prague Astronomical Clock, the oldest one still working." He breathed out in amazement as he stood on his tiptoes to get above heads of all these people, and try to catch a sight of the famous horologe.

"With the figurines like Vanity and Death, and Apostles showing every hour." He acknowledged, looking at his watch, realizing that the full hour was almost about the happen. No wonder that even an ant wouldn't squeeze between the crowds at the moment. All people on the square were waiting for the show to begin.

She sent him a surprised, but appreciative look. "Impressive, DiNozzo." She awarded him with a smile and teasing nudge to his shoulder. It seemed that he actually was in the know of some famous sightseeing spots in this city.

"Even I read something before I came here, you know." He explained, melting under her radiant smile as she nodded in the opposite direction from the Old Town Square, indicating him their next way.

They passed by 'The Minute House', cursorily assessing the sgraffito design, until Tony couldn't hold his tongue anymore. "Did you like him a lot?" He asked her, returning to the topic of her ex-boyfriend. He was brimming over with curiosity, wanting to know who the man was and why they weren't together anymore.

She stopped dead in her tracks, staring at him unbelievingly. She hadn't asked him any personal question about his relationship with his girlfriend. Only about the length of their relationship and why they hadn't been spending Christmas together. He shouldn't dare to do ask such a question. On the other hand, though, this was the typical Tony she knew. Nosy and curious, but also incredibly sweet and caring.

"Yes, I did." She replied sternly, trying to sign him to respect her privacy, because she had done the same. "Why?"

He shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. He digested the irritated tone of her voice, but his natural curiousness was winning over. "It's just... You don't seem overly upset that you're no longer with him." He pointed out, slowly but certainly uncovering the mystery behind this relationship.

She gave out a gasp in disbelief, but the fact that she was annoyed beyond description with his questioning, made her unwillingly tell him what he wanted to know. "Look, Ben and I, it wasn't... We weren't crazy in love or anything. We were just hanging out and having a good time. It was..." She tried to find the words to describe the nature of the relationship with her former boyfriend.

"Pleasant? Nice? Enjoyable? You didn't feel so alone and he made you smile, taking your mind off things you didn't want to think about, because they were bringing only pain?" He offered understandingly, smiling bitterly at her shocked expression. Those were exactly those words she would probably use.

"But you knew that it had no future because he wasn't the man you would love to be for the rest of your life and you would never fall in love with him for real? So, you just chose to enjoy yourself and live the moment, not caring about the future at all?" He continued expertly, knowing very well what he was talking about.

She couldn't but to stare at him questioningly. Not only had he perfectly described her relationship with Ben. It seemed that he had been talking from his own experience. _Was this that sort of relationship he had with that Zoe-girl? Was he with her just out of convenience?_ It would mean something for her – she would still have a chance with him. Selfish thought, she knew it. But she couldn't stop it from settling in her head.

"Yeah." She answered, still taken aback whether she had gotten this right. His next words, however, convinced her that she had.

"Know how that feels." He murmured more to himself than to her, though he had to be aware that she had to hear him. He didn't have anything against such relationships because they were without obligations. Problem was how to get out of it when the other person had started to take things seriously.

He turned on his heel and continued in their way across the small square with a beautiful latticed fountain that was topped by a golden double-tailed lion, a symbol of Bohemia. "So, his name is Ben, you said?" He asked her over his shoulder, hoping that she would follow him. "From what agency is he?"

She did follow him, forcing her legs to move and her brain to start reacting properly. She was still in a mild shock after the revelation. No wonder that he didn't seem so devastated with the state of the relationship with his girlfriend, and was more focused on his problematic relationship with Gibbs. If it had such a nature, then he didn't have to be afraid of any loss. However, she was still careful because she suspected that he hadn't told her everything.

"He has no connections to this world, so he isn't from any agency." She caught up quickly with his pace, replying on his question without any sign of irritation this time.

He made a sound that was supposed to express his surprise over her statement. "Who is he then?" He kept asking her, entering the arcade on the right side of the street because they reached the end of the pedestrian zone. They had to continue on the sidewalk from now on.

"A teaching assistant." She replied, silently praying for him not to have any teasing remarks about 'forbidden love' between a teacher and a student.

Luckily, the only reaction she had gotten from him was an astonished look. Although she could see in his face that he was biting his tongue, so he wouldn't say anything. Before he would stop controlling himself, she hurried with an explanation. "As I told you, I'm taking history courses. One day, our teacher couldn't come, so he sent his teaching assistant instead. After the lesson, he asked me out. And I didn't say no." She explained briefly, still hesitant to go into detail, since nothing had changed on the weird feeling of talking with him about her romantic encounters.

He hummed in acknowledgement, can't help but wondering how things between them were now. She was still taking the courses and if he was still a teaching assistant... They might meet each other quite often. "Where's he now?" He asked her for assurance, trying to sound friendly and supportive.

She sighed nostalgically as they left the arcade and entered another square. "On Rhode Island. He got a teaching job on Brown University." She replied as she rushed through the crowds to get on the corner of one house on the square with a memorial plague.

He followed her without another word, realizing that this conversation was over. Her ex-boyfriend was out of her life completely and she didn't grieve for it. Her friendship towards him was stronger because she was proud of him for his career achievement. And with that, Tony stopped being interested in that man. He wasn't important anymore. Just another man that belonged to the past.

Instead, he looked at the memorial plague and recognized the name of the writer they had spoken about in the café earlier. "So, why's the Kafka's memorial plague here?" He asked her, knowing very well that another history lesson was about the come. He would do anything to listen to her storytelling voice.

She looked at him with a smile, waving her hand around to describe what this space was. "Because we're at Square of Franz Kafka." She explained in her sweet voice, watching as he closed his eyes and literally purred at the sound. It reminded him the old days when they had been discussing cases. "Here used to be his birth house but it was torn down a long time ago. Also, the borders of the Jewish Quarter starts somewhere around here."

She nudged him and showed him the street they were about to walk through soon. "This is Maiselova Street, named after Mordechai Maisel. You'll also see a synagogue bearing his name. He was one of the most important figures of Prague Jewish community and the one who invited Rabbi Loew alias Maharal of Prague to the capital of Habsburg Monarchy under the rule of Rudolf II." She informed him about the part of the history she had been learning about the most, and one of the reasons why she had decided to visit this city.

He nodded his head as he started to get the facts together. "Rabbi Loew is the one who created the Golem of Prague." He breathed out, once again fascinated by the history that was around him. Once, when he had been bored and hadn't been in the mood to watch a movie, he had flicked through the channels and had bumped into some 'myths and legends' documentary. Golem of Prague** had been one of them, he still remembered it.

She rewarded him with a wide smile, being proud of his knowledge and started their way down the street she'd shown him. "But back to Kafka. I still can't believe you've read any of his books." She remarked, still very taken aback by his sudden reading spree. She wanted to test him whether he'd been telling the truth.

Tony chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. "OK, I haven't read every single book. Just two of them." He confessed, knowing that he still had her appreciation. And he had to admit that it was a good damn feeling. After all, he had tried to explore the world of written words thanks to her.

"Which ones, if I may know?" She kept inquiring him as if she still couldn't believe it and doubted his sincerity. Truth was that she'd missed talking to him about various topics. And just as he loved listening to her voice, she loved listening to his. She'd never thought that his voice would be one of the things that would make her miss her old life.

"The Metamorphosis and The Trial." He answered thoughtfully, purposely ignoring the buzzing phone in his pocket. He didn't even want to know who was calling him. "I tried to find the answers I didn't get in movies."

She gave out a soft chuckle, soothingly patting his shoulder. "Only to find out that you won't get them anyway, right?" She remarked in a teasing tone. Part of Kafka's brilliance was that certain mysteries were never revealed to readers. They could only guess what the reasons for things that happened were.

She expected him to react on his phone's vibrations because she had noticed them, too. But instead, he chose to have a talk about books. "Yeah, exactly. But I've gotten to like this absurdist fiction, you know. It makes you think with the ongoing mystery as you're trying to figure out the answers. And in the end, it's mostly up to you what you make out of it." He shared his observations over his reading choices.

It was a wonderful way how to take his mind off various stuff he didn't want to think about, and actually try to find some deeper meaning of life. To determine his own judgement on the characters' behaviour and think about what it would be like to be in the shoes of the character. Simply, create his own opinion and gain a new philosophic point of view. She couldn't but agree with him, and it amazed her that he felt it in the same way as she did. It was so nice to feel the mutual understanding between them again.

"And what I especially love about The Trial is that it's unfinished. The mystery is even deeper then. You can just guess what Kafka had in mind when he was writing it and what the crime K. had allegedly committed was." He continued jovially, because he was immensely happy that he finally had someone to share his thoughts with. His friends would probably think that he was sick or something, if they found out that he enjoyed reading from time to time.

They stopped in front of a white building behind blue metal fence, and Tony realized that they were standing in front of the Maisel Synagogue as Ziva had informed him a few minutes ago. He fell silent for a while to give her the moment to take a look at the building, squirming a bit as his phone started to vibrate in his pocket again. The person apparently didn't want to give up on reaching him.

"Although, the question is whether he would ever reveal that since when you look at The Metamorphosis, no reason was given as to why Gregor turned into an insect." He continued because he had the impression that the buzz from the vibrations was audible to the whole world, and he didn't want her to question him who was calling.

She smiled to herself, linking arms with him and slightly leaning to him so she could put her head on his shoulder for a little moment. It was a gesture of gratefulness for that he'd given her the time to admire the synagogue, and also a permission to carry on in his mulling over Kafka's work. She appreciated like nothing else that he was sharing his thoughts with her.

"So, we would have probably never known even if he had finished it. And that's what makes the book and the story so amazing. Even though it's not finished, it's perfect in its own way." He rounded it off, as they kept walking and turned on the corner to the right.

She shook her head in astonishment, wondering how it was possible that their way of thinking was so awfully similar from time to time. "I have nothing to add. You literally described my thoughts." She admitted, her voice revealing how stunned she was with the deepness of his musing.

"Hm, seems like I'm in your head, Miss David." He answered teasingly, bumping his hip against hers playfully.

She giggled and smiled widely, as opposed to her usual reaction to level him with a stern gaze. And it felt good. He truly liked the little changes in her behaviour he had noticed so far. She was still the Ziva he knew, but with an appropriate amount of change in her personality. Thus, it meant that her journey to find herself and become a better person had been successful. And he couldn't be any happier with that.

She nudged him with her shoulder to repay his bump. "You're incorrigible." She remarked jokingly, loving the fact that he stayed so goofy. She missed his cheeky playfulness.

He sensed that she missed their banter very much so he kept it going as they walked down the street, nearing their destination. It made them loosen up, stop controlling their words and just keep talking without thinking beforehand. The natural behaviour and immediate response. That was what he loved about it and what he enjoyed to experience again.

They crossed the street as they passed by a gothic church, and finally found themselves in front of Spanish Synagogue. What caught Tony's eye, however, was a black statue standing in the small park in front of the synagogue. It depicted a headless, as well as handless man in a suit who was carrying a small man on his shoulders, as if they were a father and a child. It looked so weird, but in the same time so interesting, that he couldn't take his eyes off it.

Ziva noticed his interest and immediately explained to him what the statue was about. "This is Franz Kafka Monument. The small man on the suit's shoulders is a representation of him. It's inspired by Kafka's short story 'Description of a Struggle', in which he leaps onto his 'acquaintance's' back and rides him like a horse." She informed him since she knew that he couldn't read this short story, thus to know the meaning behind the statue.

He nodded in gratitude, examining the statue with unfeigned interest. His exploration of Kafka's world definitely hadn't come to an end. The more he knew about the man, the more he wanted to read every single piece the Prague-born writer created. He didn't know why he was so fascinated with all of this, but since it was finally something that was able to catch his attention enough to take his mind off his troubles, he welcomed it with open arms.

"I'll leave you here to admire it while I buy the tickets." She patted his shoulder and entered the synagogue as he continued to stand there and stare.

Realizing after a short while that he was alone, he pulled out his phone to find out who had been trying to reach him. Two missed calls and one text from the same person that came just now. _"Where in the hell are you? Tried to reach you, but you're not picking up. Call me when you get this."_ He sighed thoughtfully, wondering if he should call Zoe or not. He knew that she would be worried about him but he somehow didn't care.

He knew that it wasn't fair to her to ignore her or not even tell her where exactly he was. After all, Europe was big, he could be anywhere. But part of leaving DC behind had been not to tell anyone but one person where he had been heading. To text her back was out of the question, she would wonder why he didn't call her right away then. And to be honest, another reason why he didn't want to call her was Ziva.

He enjoyed this evening with her like nothing else and Zoe was just an intruder in this moment. That was why he had ignored the buzz of his phone, not wanting to be bothered by anyone. No matter if it was his girlfriend calling him, McGee, Senior, Gibbs or Vance. He just didn't want to speak to anyone but his tonight's companion. He didn't want to destroy the relaxed and pleasant atmosphere around him.

He stared at the phone, hesitating and contemplating what to do, engaging himself in the never-ending battle of his heart and his brain. When Ziva came out of the synagogue, though, and sent him her enchanting beautiful smile, he felt his heart to make the decision. Without even looking at the screen, he deleted the message from his girlfriend as if he had never received it.

"Everything alright?" She asked him sweetly, not questioning who was trying to reach him since she noticed the phone in his hand. It was his business and only he decided what he should do.

"Completely." He answered, putting the phone back into his pocket, and smiling at her. He could deal with Zoe later. Much later.

She took him by the hand and looked straight into his eyes to be sure that he was okay. He returned her the look, wondering what she was trying to find in his expression, but she couldn't discover anything but pure joy. "Still up for the dinner?" She asked him for assurance.

He raised his finger and lightly caressed her cheek, not really knowing why he had the urge to do so. "Sure. I told you it's my treat. Just lead the way." He gestured with his free hand into the street. He supposed that she had chosen some restaurant already, since she knew her way around here very well.

And she did. Turning him around as she still held his hand, they crossed the street twice and she led him right into the restaurant. It wasn't cosy as the café had been, but it was pretty decent. It was designed in warm yellow, orange and pink colours to depict crystal-like appearance since the restaurant bore the name _Crystal_. The waiter seated them to the right corner, so they saw the street through the window.

Before the waiter could even bring them the menus, she stopped him and asked him right away to bring them Christmas menus with two beers. He smiled at her and went to arrange their orders as Tony helped her to take off her coat once again, and they both sat down. Curiosity bubbling inside him, he immediately started to question her what was the Christmas menu about. And she, as the wonderful and knowledgeable tour guide, started to describe what the menu consisted of.

The first course was traditional fish soup made out of water, root vegetables, various spices and mainly, out of the heads and bones of the carp. It was one of the ways how to make use of each part of this fish that was eaten in the second course. Even though carp could supposedly be prepared a hundred different ways, fried carp was the common version that usually ended up on the Christmas dinner table.

Potato salad that was a side dish to the carp, came out in hundreds of versions. Ziva explained to Tony that almost every family had their own recipe to make it, but the basics remained the same. It was served cold and made out of the boiled potatoes, pickles, hard-boiled eggs, root vegetables, onion and mayonnaise. More ingredients like mustard, peas or salami were added by families as they were used to.

As a dessert, the apple strudel was served. In typical Tony DiNozzo fashion, he couldn't deny himself the pleasure of quoting Quentin Tarantino's movie _Inglorious Basterds_ , impersonating the famous restaurant scene between Hans Landa and Shosanna Dreyfus with strudel. She laughed at his adorable enthusiasm for movies, telling him that if he wanted, he could ask for the cream.

All was accompanied by a magnificent Pilsner Urquell beer, the golden brew that was the first of its type in the world. There was no dispute about drinking anything else since citizens of this country were first in the consumption of beer per capita. Simply, Tony's stomach was singing a melody of hunger that knew it would be satisfied enough and very soon.

"So, tell me more about your life, besides the thing with Gibbs." She asked him curiously after their beer was delivered to the table. "How's the work going? How are the cases?" One thing she missed the most on her old life was the feeling of excitement that accompanied every case they had been solving together.

He gulped down the beer, his eyes evidently avoiding any contact with her. He didn't have much to tell. Talking about Mishnev was out of the question since he wanted to hide this from her at all costs. Their last talk that concerned Ari had cost him a lot. And he didn't want to disturb her new life with it. She didn't deserve it in any way to be reminded of something she had no direct share in.

As for the other cases – what point it had to tell her how they had taken down Parsa? It belonged to the past that he didn't want to remind her of. Sure, he might talk about casual cases, or how he had become 'the most wanted' in France for a few hours but it wasn't enough to entertain her for the whole evening. Plus, talking about the team when she wasn't there... It still didn't feel right.

He watched the pale lager in his hand, focusing more on the gold colour, fluffy white foam and the drops that were falling down the dewy glass. Trying to change the direction of the conversation would sign her that there was something wrong. He wouldn't probably succeed even with the excuse about being on vacation and work-related stuff was the last thing he wanted to think about. Simply, he didn't see any way out of this.

She didn't have to be fortune teller to see that he was reluctant to answer her question. And she respected it. "I take it that you don't want to talk about work, right?" She asked him, putting her hand over his in a comforting gesture.

His eyes lifted up to catch her gaze, sending her an apologetic look. "I'd rather not." He admitted, not giving any further explanation.

She smiled at him and patted his hand as their fish soups arrived to the table. "It's okay, let's talk about something else. What about your father? You mentioned that you are on good terms now. I'd like to hear the story to that." She suggested, knowing that if Tony was willingly getting on well with Senior, something had to precede the current situation.

He chuckled at the topic, taking the spoon and stirring the soup leisurely before tasting it. "Yeah, we're on good terms now. We spend much time together since he lives near me." He said while humming in delight over the delicious taste. He'd never thought that a fish soup could be so delicious.

She blushed in content, glad that he enjoyed his meal, but also raising her eyebrow at him questioningly to give him a hint to start explaining. It seemed almost impossible for those two not to have any argument. Senior used to be regular instigator of Tony's grumpy moods, although almost every time they parted in a conciliatory matter in the end. It had never led to further improvement of their relationship, though.

"He appeared one day all glowing and happy." He started, not mentioning his previous conversations with his Dad that mostly concerned her and his stay in Israel. "Claiming that he needs to talk to me about something important. But a case got into the way."

She attentively listened to him as they both ate the soup, smiling at him encouragingly to show her attention. "While investigating, McGee and Bishop saw him in a hotel with some young pregnant woman as he was escorting her into her room." He sighed regretfully, finishing the last bits of his meal and putting the plate aside.

She did the same, drying off her mouth with a napkin. "I don't think that I have to guess that you thought the worst, do I?" She remarked. Being a witness of DiNozzos' bickering quite often, she knew what the usual scenario looked like.

He nodded with his head in agreement, admitting that for a while he truly had believed that he was about to have a sibling. "Yeah. But she turned out to be daughter of my godmother Linda." He went on, putting his hands on the table and clasping them, leaning his chin against them. "I know her since she was a little girl. Then, my father finally confessed that he was about to get married. To my godmother."

She gulped down the beer she took a sip of. "How did that happen?" She asked him, surprised that Senior was thinking about getting married again, especially after all those failed marriages.

"Her husband died. And since they were long-time friends with my parents, Dad got in touch with her to console her. Well, one thing led to another..." He waved his hand in the air, trailing off at the end of the sentence to let her to deduce what had happened next.

Ziva blushed and smiled, hiding her face from him for a second. She couldn't blame the woman for falling for DiNozzo charm, because she had been a victim of the same thing many times before. Both Tony and his father had a great and kind heart when it came to the people they truly care about. It was almost incredible to find such a solicitous person in the world. The more it was hard not to be grateful in more than one way.

"Aha." She uttered with fascination as the waiter collected their plates and silently left, so the couple could be alone.

He put the glass down, taken aback by her sudden dreamy expression. It looked as if she was projecting some secret fantasy of hers in the back of her mind. It wasn't a coincidence that she was making ringlets from her hair with her fingers, completely oblivious to the fact that she was doing so. Even the dim light at their table couldn't hide her flushed cheeks.

Starting to feel hot himself, he cleared his throat and returned back to the topic. "Anyway, the wedding didn't happen." He continued, watching as she snapped out of her daydreaming and put her hand over his once again to comfort him. "She dumped him and for some reason, it totally broke him. He started to talk about how he feels, that he's not getting any younger and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with dignity."

"So, now he lives nearby and we're working on the father/son relationship much more than we used to." He finished matter-of-factly, watching as his fingers started to play with hers without him knowing. The inner urge to have physical, yet innocent, contact with her was getting better of him.

She didn't protest, though, and joined him in the play of their fingers. "I'm glad for both of you. You two had a real chance to recreate the family bond. The happier it makes me that you decided to try and gave him the chance." She appreciated his effort to make up with his father after all those years.

It was convenient time for them to start working on repairing their broken relationship. Gibbs treated Tony in the way he didn't deserve, and Tony had the feeling that he was losing his surrogate father. His own Dad, though, seemed to finally step up and take his position of the real parent he should be for his son. Not many people had the chance to do so. She was sure that Tony was aware of that and made the most of it.

"Thanks. After all, I'm the last one of all of us who actually can. You can't anymore, McGee neither. And Gibbs... Can't do that anymore, as well." He said a bit grimly. It kind of dawned on him that he was the only one with daddy issues who could do something about it.

Her fingers stopped as she tried to absorb his words. "What happened to Jackson?" She asked, wanting to know what happened with Gibbs' father. Eli was dead, Admiral McGee as well. If Gibbs couldn't spend more time with his father anymore, it meant only one thing.

"Heart attack. Last year." He told her, catching her hand to do his part in soothing, knowing that this piece of news might sadden her a lot.

She lowered her head, wondering what other news of this kind she might learn from him. She suddenly felt so selfish for leaving people she cared about behind, letting them to deal with their problems on their own and not helping them whatsoever. It was one of the reasons why she always chickened out whenever she felt the urge to get into contact with them. She knew that the feeling of guilt would hunt her and she might go back to her old ways.

Sighing gratefully, she lifted her head back up to look at Tony's concerned face as he gently caressed her hand. His comforting ways didn't change a bit and she couldn't be any more satisfied with it. The tenderness in his behaviour towards her was incredibly sweet and calming. Just a single look into his eyes and she knew that he would do anything to make her feel better.

She sent him an assuring smile that she was doing fine and withdrew her hand because their second course from the Christmas menu arrived to the table. Tony welcomed the fried carp with potato salad, since it was also a good way how to shift he conversation to another topic. He bubbled over with curiosity as to what she had been up to so far and how she was doing in her quest to change herself. Judging by her relaxed posture, she was successful.

„But let's talk about you." He suggested innocently, after her motherly warning that he should pay attention while eating the fish because it had bones. "You're mysterious like Pandora's Box. What have you been doing this all time?"

Her eyelashes fluttered as she blinked several times, unsurprised by the question. It was expected that sooner or later he would start asking about her, especially with the increasing amount of time they had been spending together. After he had ascertained that she was single, without any commitment, he was simply curious about her life. Just as she was about his. Unlike him, though, she didn't have much to tell.

"Not too much, to be honest." She shrugged as if she was trying to sweep the whole conversation under the carpet, yet sounding pleased by his interest.

"Some travelling, meeting new people, getting to know different cultures... Also, the history courses, a lot of reading and doing some exercise." She explained factually, realizing how quickly the time flew. Naming the things she had done, it didn't seem that it had taken her more than two years. But it had.

He smiled at her, satisfied with the answer. It was exactly what he wished for her – to enjoy the relative tranquillity of everyday life without being hunted by the past and explore all the beauty the world had to offer. She hadn't had the chance to do so during her life before, because various events had always intervened and she had had to do what was required and reasonable.

"Mossad leaving you be?" He asked her carefully, not wanting to sound like an interrogator. She had promised, not only to him, but mainly to herself to end with the life of an agent for good. He wasn't asking her to find out whether she had really done so. All he wanted to know was whether her past truly belonged to the past, or if some of the demons still haunted her from time to time.

Her lips formed into a thin smile, appreciating the hesitancy in his voice. He truly tried to make this conversation as pleasant as possible, without any possible misunderstandings. "I spoke with Orli about it. She promised to leave me alone and not to involve me in anything. Although, I know that she keeps an eye on me." She answered, stuffing her mouth with potato salad and downing it with the beer.

Tony nodded in acknowledgement, having the full mouth himself and enjoying the delicious dinner. He expected Orli to do something like that. She was smart enough to know that Ziva wanted to free herself of her past. But in the same time, her sense of duty towards Eli and Mossad ordered her to live in certainty that Ziva was doing well. He was actually pretty sure that Orli would contact him if Ziva was in some trouble.

"Actually, I'm supposed to say 'hi' to you if I ever meet you. She seems to be quite fond of you." Ziva noted in a teasing tone, not being surprised that Tony had won Orli's respect. He had done it with everybody.

Tony smiled embarrassedly, not sure whether to feel delighted or not. "Thanks. At least one Director of Mossad doesn't seem to hate me." He replied, turning back to his meal, hoping that this remark wouldn't lead to a conversation as to why the former Director had not been so pleased with his presence in his daughter's life.

She stopped chewing, shaking her head at him and his lack of confidence when it came to Eli. "My father didn't hate you, Tony." She assured him, stressing her claim with a simple gesture of taking his hand and squeezing it. "Even though you might not believe that, he respected you greatly."

He stared at her for a while, not knowing what to say. He didn't expect from her such an honest and open reaction. He had no idea how to react without expressing doubts or anything. "Well, you knew him better." He then said uncertainly, returning her the squeeze of the hand.

She realized that she totally bewildered him with the information. He would be certainly surprised if he heard what her father had thought about the NCIS agent. Not that she was going to tell him about it, since it also concerned her and their possible romantic involvement. No matter how strong feelings she had for him, she had to bury it and not give it a chance to bloom.

Sending him a sweet, yet tentative smile, she turned her attention back to the meal, waiting for another question to come. And he didn't disappoint. "You seem to be satisfied with the life you've built." He remarked, not trying to meddle in her privacy, but just trying to make sure that everything was going well for her. Her well-being was always very important to him.

For some reason, a shiver ran down her spine as she looked at him, meeting with his intense gaze. The familiar anxiety started to seize her heart, crawling up its way through the whole body. _Damn him._ He knew exactly what to say to hit the right spot on her battered soul, to attack her guilty conscience. And all without even knowing it. She wanted to hate him for that, but she couldn't.

"I am." She replied, evidently avoiding another contact with him as she lowered her eyes. She didn't want him to see the panic and unease that was raging through her.

"But?" He obligatory offered, sensing her nervousness. He didn't know why she should feel this way if she was satisfied with her life. He naturally tried to make her talk.

She squirmed, looking anywhere but at him. It wasn't that she wanted to avoid this conversation. She just wasn't ready for it, not yet. "Why there always has to be some 'but'?" She asked rhetorically, more to herself than to him. Anytime she said something, it always raised suspicions of the person she was talking to that everything wasn't entirely fine.

Tony slowly chewed and shrugged his shoulders. "Doesn't have to be. It just looked like that there is in this case." He explained simply. The tone of her voice, the fact she had avoided an eye contact with him, her sudden nervousness – they were all signs of that something was wrong.

She sighed, trying to get rid of the frosty feeling in her chest but it seemed to be locked up in a place. For a second, she thought about lying to him but knowing him, he wouldn't let her to get away with it so easily. After all, she didn't have anything to lose because her problem, the only stain on her new life, existed for the reason she had lost something that used to be very dear to her.

"Well... Even though I like the new life I have and I'm satisfied with it, because I finally do something I've always wanted, I..." She started, her throat constricting in the end as she struggled to get the words out of her mouth, while trying to fight back the tears.

She gulped and looked up to meet his gaze to convince him about her honesty. "I miss you. I miss you all." She breathed out through the tears that started to fall down her cheeks involuntarily.

She missed her NCIS family terribly. She had tried very hard to break away from their loving grasp by changing her phone number, changing her email address, cancelling some of her internet accounts, but it couldn't stop her from missing the personal contact. But she was too scared to reach out after refusing that for a few months. She didn't know whether they even wanted to be in contact again, whether they weren't angry with her. Because they had a reason to and she knew it.

He reached out his hand across the table and took her by her chin. "Hey, stop the waterfall." He told her, wiping away the salty drops from her face with his thumb. "You can have us again. You only have to do something for it. No one is going to judge you, hate you or anything."

She sobbed, another set of tears streaming down her eyes. "I'm not so sure." She managed to let out, knowing that her crimes against her surrogate family were great.

She didn't know what Tony had told them about her reasons to leave after he had returned. Not that it didn't matter anyway, because it wasn't his place to say. She should have been the one to contact them and tell them personally. The only person she had contacted, though, had been Gibbs. And that had been enough for her to know that after two heart-breaking goodbyes, she couldn't survive other ones.

It was unacceptable, she knew it. Reading Abby's emails in the first days after her departure had always made her feel horrible and sad. But the fear she felt, the fear out of rejection and distaste that would be natural after refusing any contact, had always won over. And she had kept running away and tried not to feel any guilt. As the time passed, she had found a way to deal with it.

Tony sighed, patiently wiping away her tears, pushing away the plate so he could lean over to her across the table. "OK, I can't speak for everyone. I can just assure you that you will always have me." He told her, looking straight into her wet eyes to show her that he meant his words. "But I will respect whatever decision you will make"

If she were a chocolate, she would melt into a smooth chocolate frosting. The words he had told to her were warming her from inside, replacing the anxiety. _You will always have me..._ It seemed unbelievable, considering that he had been primarily the one who had suffered the most from her departure. He had had to return with a broken heart and try to erase his feelings for her from his heart.

His words had just proven that he hadn't managed to do so. And for some reason, she was happy with his failure. Because she hadn't been able to forget about him and her feelings for him she had so successfully hid before, either. She still didn't know what the outcome of this meeting would be. But she doubted already that she wouldn't see him ever again. He was giving her a chance for a regular contact, and she found herself in a state in which she wasn't able to say 'no'.

"Thank you." She whispered, blinking away the tears she wanted to stop so much. He was emotionally moved as well, though, because she noticed the obvious tremble of his body since he still had his hands on her face.

For a moment, she saw the doleful expression she had seen two years ago in Israel. The one that had told the story how heartbroken he was, but in the same time understood her reasons and wished her only happiness because she deserved it. "Don't. I have my reward in seeing you happy and satisfied. Just stop crying, please." He pleaded her gently.

It wasn't for the reason that he hated to see her crying. But more for the reason that she looked so adorable that he just wanted to take her in his arms, never let her go and kiss her endlessly and passionately, until all tears would be forgotten and only bliss would prevail. And he couldn't afford that. He couldn't fall for her again the way he had many years ago.

Her eyes fluttered and she sniffed in an attempt to get rid of the remaining tears that still threatened to fall. She removed his hand from his face and gently kissed his palm, a gesture that was purely innocent, yet testified about the depth of her gratitude. He could never comprehend what his words and his amiability meant to her. She just hoped that one day she might repay it to him and let him know it.

He smiled at her, withdrawing his hand and putting his plate back in front of him. He was shaken to the core with emotions, but refused to give in. Not for any embarrassment or keeping his dignity. He just knew that if he yielded, there would be no going back. He would break down and pour out his battered heart, probably revealing more than he wanted and flood her with his suffering since the day he was born. And he had already given her enough information about his problems tonight.

She wiped away the rest of the wetness on her face, reaching into her purse for a napkin to dry her eyes off completely. "Sorry, I wasn't used to be this emotional." She apologized for her sensitive behavior, thinking that she might discomfit him with it.

"Don't apologize for something that makes you human. It's not a weakness but it proves that you've changed, that you've made a wonderful progress. And that's what makes me proud like nothing else." He told her sincerely, hoping she wouldn't start crying again. He was unimaginably proud of her and he wanted to tell her that. If the only sad thing on her new life was that she missed them, then she had truly achieved what she had desired.

She sent him a shining smile instead of saying thanks, being afraid that her emotions would betray her again. His respect towards her, his undeniable and genuine delight from her happiness made her to love him in every sense of that word even more. She didn't know why he was so enthusiastic about her life and what she had done to deserve to have such a close friend. But she thanked every single day for it. Even when they were no longer in contact or when his interest had been unwanted.

"Let's turn the page and shift to some more pleasant topic." He invited her to talk about something that seemed to be safe and that clearly interested her very much. "Tell me about those history courses you're taking. How did it all begin and how in the hell you know so much?"

And so, while finishing their meals, he heard about her decision to find herself through identifying who she even was. She hadn't only studied the history of her family and her roots. She had gone deeper and started with history of Israel, Jewish history and all the topics that were connected to it. It was a fantastic way how to identify herself with her own nation, her homeland.

Before she even knew it, she had been interested in whole range of topics, including religions history and European history. Slowly, she was getting through all the various histories of the planet Earth. She also mentioned briefly US history, but explained that she wanted to get through European one first, then the US one, continue through the history of the continent of America to learn more about Indians while supplementing herself with Asian, African and Australian history about which she had already known something.

He was amazed with her enthusiasm, mostly because he suddenly wanted to do all of this with her. Every story she was telling him, every single piece was so interesting and it was wonderful to listen to it, that he wished to travel around the world and see those things by his own eyes. He didn't wonder anymore that she had chosen Prague as her destination. And he could only thanks to his own decision to head here and not somewhere else.

The rest of their dinner went smoothly and without any other emotional outbursts. She kept telling him her stories from travelling around the world as they had another beer and tasted the apple strudel. He was more than willing to listen to her silky voice, sometimes letting his mind wander to daydream about being together and experience the journey with her. He was careful enough, though, so she wouldn't notice. Unbeknown to him, she started to wish the same.

_**The End of Chapter 5** _

* * *

* Egon Erwin Kish (1885 – 1948), Czechoslovak writer and journalist with Jewish roots who wrote in German. Nicknamed the 'Raging Reporter', he was a Communist and very vocal dissenter of Hitler's Nazi regime.

** Golem is animated anthropomorphic being, magically created entirely from inanimate matter. The most famous legend about Golem is the one about Golem of Prague that was created to defend the city's Jewish ghetto from anti-Semitic attacks and pogroms in 16th century. It was made out of clay from the banks of the Vltava River, and brought to life through rituals and Hebrew incantations. According to the legend, the Golem is stored in the Old New Synagogue's attic, where it would be restored to life again if needed.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 6** _

"Well, this was absolutely delicious. I have to visit this country more often to get enough of the food." Tony said as he buttoned up his coat and caressed his stomach as a sign that it was satisfied with his master's choices.

Ziva smiled at him, adjusting the scarf around her neck and pulling out her gloves. "I'm firmly certain that there are Czech restaurants in DC, you just have to know where to look." She pointed out that there were plentiful Czech communities in the US. Czechs had emigrated from Europe to America long before both World Wars and also during them, with their descendants paying the tribute to their Czech heritage as they kept the family business going.

He rewarded her with an appreciative look, silently thanking her for the witty idea. He would certainly save a lot of money spending for the food in a Czech restaurant in the US, instead of flying over here. "But I'm not sure why we got these." He remarked, looking at the fish scales in his hand, still pondering why the waiter had given them to him.

She smiled at his confusion, taking one of the fish scales from his hand, opening her wallet and putting it inside. "They are from the carp we ate." She explained. "It's believed that if you keep a fish scale in your wallet, it will ensure that you won't run out of money for the whole year."

"Can't hurt to try it." He pulled out his wallet and put the scale inside just as she had done. "And thanks for the dinner." He lightly touched her arm in a grateful gesture.

She looked at him, baffled a little. "I should thank you. You paid for it." She protested, though she knew very well that his thankfulness had nothing to do with who had paid for the dinner.

"But it was your brilliant idea that came out of your beautiful head." He wasn't giving up. "And thanks to it, I now know so many things I had no idea about before." He appreciated all her storytelling about history and her travelling.

"It's just a history, Tony." She objected calmly, feeling flattered that he so much liked everything she had told him. She had enjoyed it, as well. She loved speaking with someone about things that interested her, and knowing that the person across the table paid genuine attention.

"But you're a very good storyteller." He explained as they set off in the direction of the Spanish Synagogue. "Better than any history teacher I've ever had. Something in your voice, that thick accent of yours... It just makes it look so interesting, so unique, so magical..." He was oblivious to the fact that he had just admitted that listening to her voice was something he'd missed terribly.

She stared at him dumbfounded, wondering whether she should question it or not. She didn't expect such compliments and wasn't sure how to deal with them. Not being able to hide the fact that it pleased her, though, she blushed despite the freezing cold. He didn't seem to perceive her, caught up in his own monologue during which he didn't dare to look at her, afraid that he might give away even more than his words had already done.

He chuckled to himself as the realization how much he had actually missed her sank in. "Just like your teasing threats of killing me with a paperclip. The good old times." He murmured wistfully, wishing for umpteenth time in the last two years, that things would have gone differently and she would have never leave the team.

Seizing his step in front of the synagogue, realizing that he'd gotten carried away with his memories, he looked at her innocently as if the last few sentences had never been spoken aloud. "Anyway, what if we took a little walk to the Christmas tree on the Old Town Square, and you'd tell me more about Christmas customs in this country?" He offered, trying to find a way out in a safe topic that wouldn't concern him at all.

She nodded in response, pretending just like him that he hadn't said anything. Rather, she turned right, knowing that she would lead the way. "I'm not sure if I remember everything, but I'll do my best to get it right." She promised to him, walking down the street as he caught up with her and linked his arms through hers.

And so, she started to tell what she'd remembered from her studies and exhibitions she'd visited. She mentioned again, that all these customs that used to be held in households, were supposed to help keep abundance, happiness, welfare and protection of the house. Today, the customs weren't held with such ferocity, because mankind wasn't that superstitious anymore. It was more about the respect to the folk traditions.

First, she focused on the customs connected to the dinner since they had just finished one. He attentively listened to her lecture about the Christmas Dinner's table that should be set for an even number of guests, because an odd number brought bad luck or death. If the family had the odd number of members, an extra plate should be used to even out the number of the guests at the table. Also, an extra plate should be prepared anyway just in case some unexpected guest or a person in need came by the house at the dinner time.

The legs of the table should then be tied together with a rope to protect the house from thieves and burglars in the upcoming year. Another reason was to ensure the family cohesion. The chairs at the table should be placed in a way that no one was sitting with their back to the door. And as the custom dictated, no one should ever get up from the Christmas table before the dinner was finished. Doing so, the person would be the first to die in the following year. That was why everyone should get up from the table at the same time.

The dinner was served after the first star came out on the sky. Until then, no lights should be lit in the house. Also, it was expected that everyone should finish their dinner and leave nothing on the plate. That seemed a bit impossible with the amount of served food, but it was ensured by another superstition. People should fast all day until dinner, so they could see the 'golden piglet' on the wall as their reward for having the patience of not eating. The gold signified the beginning of the winter solstice and piglet was a promise of abundance and welfare.

Christmas dinner and its courses varied household from household, region from region. Generally, it consisted of soup (either fish or mushroom), fried carp, potato salad, fruit (dried, fresh or canned) and dessert (either apple strudel or vánočka). Christmas cookies that were baked weeks prior the Christmas were also on the table. According to custom, no alcohol should be served on Christmas Eve, although this custom wasn't widely observed.

The food was made out of particular ingredients, such as garlic that provided strength and protection, honey that was believed to guard against evil or mushrooms that gave health and strength. Many other ingredients like poppy seeds, peas, wheat, barley or apples were also given to the domesticated animals (hens, cows, goats) to ensure a lot of milk and eggs in the upcoming year.

By that time, they arrived in front of a Gothic-like tower that seemed to separate the city from the outer world. "I guess you'll tell me something interesting about this tower, right?" He challenged her, looking up and down the 65-meter high tower, examining the Gothic features on the building.

She couldn't help but chuckle, knowing the reasons of his question. He wanted to avoid any conversation about him because he was well aware that she had a lot of questions. Questions that had more to do with his life than his father or his relationship with Gibbs. And that sooner or later he would have to uncover them. But she was patient enough to lull him into a false sense of security and attacking him with her interrogation afterwards, the moment he would least expect.

She couldn't deny him the answer, then. "It's a Powder Gate. It separates the Old Town from the New Town and it served for some time as a gunpowder storehouse, hence the name." She rattled off as an experienced tour guide, feeling more confident than for the first time. A few days ago when she'd arrived here, she'd stood with her nose buried in a guide book, trying to make sense out of it. "Also, the Royal Route starts here, leading to the Prague Castle. Future kings had to go through it to arrive at the coronation at Saint Vitus Cathedral."

He snapped out of his smitten look the moment she turned her gaze to him. "Thank you for the lecture, Miss Teacher." He teased with a playful wink, blocking her attempt to smack his arm.

"So, where were we with the Christmas customs?" He returned back to their initial topic, taking her hand and setting off their way through the Powder gate, ready to enter the New Town.

With a mischievous smile, she began to tell him about other superstitious customs that were practiced more than the previous ones she had mentioned – foretelling the future and foretelling the marriage. The first one's example was that a pregnant woman would know whether she was carrying a boy or a girl, depending on what gender the first visitor on a Christmas Eve was. If the visitor was a female, she was destined to have a daughter. In the opposite case, a son.

One of the most popular customs that helped to foretell the future was cutting of the apple. The apple was cut by the person crosswise, from the stem down and then the halves were taken apart. If the core was shaped as a star it meant luck, happiness and health in the upcoming year. A four-pointed cross, though, was a bad omen and usually brought bad luck, illness and death.

People also made use of the walnut shells that served as little boats with a small candle inside. Everyone from the family made their own boat and then put it inside a bowl of water to let it float. If the shell made it across the bowl without any problems, its owner should live a long and healthy life. If the shell sank or got stuck, it meant death, diseases or, generally, a bad luck.

Typical custom was also pouring of the lead, that was melted over the fire, into a container of water. The pourer's future was foretold from the shape that resulted from the pouring. Tony wasn't unfamiliar with this custom, he had already heard about it. It was more connected to the New Year's Eve, though, not Christmas. But he didn't mind it at all, as long as she kept talking and filled his ears with her beautiful voice.

When she started to explain foretelling the marriage, he began to feel a bit uncomfortable, knowing that they were getting into dangerous waters. But he relaxed after a while when he found out that those customs were observed by women only, and eager to marry ones especially. Not that he blamed them since in the old times, it was their only duty – to get marry to have a family and household to take care of.

Anyway, one of those customs was connected to pre-Christmas period, with December 4th, known as Saint Barbara's Day. An unmarried girl cut a twig of a cherry tree on that day and put it in water. If the twig bloomed by Christmas Eve, the girl knew she would marry within a year. Also, the same was supposed to happen when an unmarried girl threw her shoe over her shoulder and towards the door on Christmas Eve. If the shoe landed with the toe pointing towards the door, the wedding was certain.

Animals had their roles in foretelling the marriage, as well. One custom dictated to the unmarried girl to shake an elder tree and listen from which direction the dog would start barking, because the man she was supposed to marry lived there. Also, if the girl knocked on the henhouse and rooster was the first one to respond, she would marry within a year. If the hen cackled, she was destined to stay single.

He listened to her but couldn't but stop in his tracks when they left the street they were walking through, getting to another square with another tower in front of him. He started to feel like if he was in Italy or Greece. Because every step he took, there was some significant building that was apparently very old. Only those were Medieval one while those at the Mediterranean were Ancient and thus older. He didn't mind it, those buildings were magnificent and beautiful but it was a little bit overwhelming for his taste.

"Wow, this city is full of towers and churches, right?" He remarked, examining the tower's impressive neo-Gothic roof. He guessed the architectural style since the roof didn't seem to be as old as the rest of the building.

She responded with a giggle as she tried to suppress the bubbly laugh inside her. "If I may add, Tony, you didn't use Prague's nickname 'The City of a Hundred Spires', for nothing." She replied with amused expression, finding it hilarious that he had used it without even knowing what he had been getting himself into.

"Though, if I recall correctly, the official count nowadays is over five hundred spires." She added to his utter astonishment. "All thanks to those buildings we're slowly passing by." This city wasn't as big as many other significant metropolises. but one would have to spend at least a year in here to discover everything that was worth the time.

She took a pity on him, grabbed his arm and continued in their way while explaining to him what the tower was. Jindřišská věž (Jindrisska Tower) used to be a bell tower of a church across the street. Built in 15th century, some of the bells were still part of the tower, notably Maria, Henry and Dominic. The name of the tower honored Henry II., Holy Roman Emperor* who definitively incorporated the Duchy of Bohemia (or Czech Duchy) into the Holy Roman Empire through his aid to Jaromír, Duke of Bohemia, against the Poles.

Then, they settled in comfortable conversation about the differences between American and Central European Christmas. It was fun and enriching for Tony to discuss the cultural differences and find out more. He especially loved her telling about gift bringers. As he was told, Ježíšek (the Baby Jesus) or Christ Child, as he was known in other countries, was adorable presentation of a gift bringer as opposed to Santa Claus. There wasn't any accurate description of him, just that he was a toddler who brought the gifts to children. The depiction was a subject of a child's fantasy.

Ziva later explained to him that some sort of version of Santa Claus actually exists in the Central European culture. Mikuláš (Saint Nicholas) brings candies, fruits and other treats for children the night before his name day on December 6th. Usually, he is accompanied by a good Angel, who gives gifts to the good children, and Krampus, the depiction of a Devil, who punishes bad children. Although the punishment is always symbolic like a coal among the gifts, or the terrifying appearance of the Krampus himself, children used to believe that if they disobeyed their parents often, the Krampus would kidnap them and take them with him back to Hell.

Interesting topic was also the time when Christmas gifts were opened. Several countries in Europe and Latin America open gifts on the evening of 24th December, thus on Christmas Eve and not in the morning of Christmas Day, December 25th, as in the most of English-speaking countries and the others. In the Czech Republic it is given by the fact that Christmas Eve is called 'Štědrý den' which means 'Generous Day'. People show the generosity in the form of exchanging gifts among them, by the festive dinner and generally by being kind and nice towards the others.

Their discussion was occasionally interrupted by Ziva's observations about certain buildings. Certainly interesting was Jubilee Synagogue, the youngest of all of the synagogues in Prague, built in Moorish Revival style with Art Nouveau decorations. Its appearance was impossible to miss since the Mudéjar red-and-white coursing of the stone facade was very striking. The name of the synagogue referred to the anniversary of the rule of Franz Joseph I., the emperor of Austria and the King of Hungary, Croatia and Bohemia. Since Czechoslovakia became independent on Austria-Hungary after World War I., the synagogue was also renamed to Jerusalem Synagogue since the location of the building was on Jerusalem Street.

Or the Prague State Opera house from 19th century that was established as New German Theatre for Prague German community, since the National Theatre served mostly for Czechs. Today, the neoclassicist building served as an opera house with wide repertoire of ballet, balls and beneficial concerts. It was in the close proximity of the Federal Assembly Building where the headquarters of Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty**, a state-run US broadcasting organization, used to be until it was moved into another location in Prague.

Very interesting history was also behind the Petschek Palace, a government building that served nowadays as a seat of the Ministry of Industry and Trade of the Czech Republic. After Nazi Germany seized Czechoslovakia in 1939 and established the Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia, the building served as the main headquarters of Gestapo during World War II. Infamous court-martials established by one of the Reich-Protectors, Reinhard Heydrich, took place there, including interrogations and torturing of Czech resistance. Many of the prisoners were either sentenced to death, sometimes executed right on the spot, or sent to Nazi concentration camps where they were eliminated in most of the cases.

Then, they finally reached the centerpiece of the modern Prague and New Town in general – the Wenceslas Square. The place where many historical events have occurred, from various demonstrations to celebrations and other public gatherings, notably Velvet Revolution in 1989. Tony had seen the square many times since it was one of the most known places from Prague. He'd seen pictures from Prague Uprising in 1945 and Soviet Occupation in 1968.

Ziva explained to him that even though the square was founded by Charles IV., it bore the name of Saint Wenceslas, the patron saint of the Czech state. His monument was placed on the upper half of the square in a form of a majestic equestrian statue in a sculptural group with other smaller statues of significant Saints. The square itself was dominated by the neo-renaissance majestic building from 19th century, known as National Museum, closing the upper half of the square.

They walked down, weaving their way through the people slowly, reaching the end of the bottom part of the square. To no surprise, there was another place full of Christmas markets with a Christmas tree in the middle. Despite having a dinner a while ago, Tony couldn't resist and bought another trdelník for both, third one for him today. The pastry was just too delicious and the amazing smell... The temptation was too great.

As they turned right, they found themselves on another avenue. She led him through but she turned left soon, dragging him on the end of the street, so he could hear more about the building there. The classicist Estates Theatre built in the late 18th century during Enlightenment era, has been a host of famous performers such as Austrian composer Gustav Mahler or Italian violin virtuoso Niccolò Paganini.

Also, the Academy Award-movie 'Amadeus', directed by Czech director Miloš Forman was shot there for the authenticity. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart himself conducted _Le nozze di Figaro_ (The Marriage of Figaro) in the Estates Theatre in 1787. The warm reception he'd gotten from the Prague audience was overwhelming for Mozart so much that he decided to write an opera for the Prague audience. And so, _Don Giovanni_ premiered later in the year 1787, receiving only praise.

Mozart, being delighted with the success, had supposedly uttered the words _'My Praguers understand me',_ and that was because he'd received more appreciation of his works by the people from this particular city than his compatriots in Austria. He didn't hesitate to write another opera specifically for Prague, _La clemenza di Tito_ (The Clemency of Titus), that premiered in the same theatre in 1791. It accompanied the festivities of Leopold II.'s coronation as King of Bohemia.

Right next to the theatre was one of the oldest dormitories in the Central Europe, _Karolinum_. The seat of the Charles University in Prague that was established by no one else but Charles IV. in 1348, used to serve as a college that provided the accommodation for the teachers and students. Today, the building was used for the administrative purposes, matriculation and graduation ceremonies.

To Tony's open joy, they finally reached the place he wanted to see so much. The Old Town Square with the huge, more than 20-metre high Christmas tree. The square was less crowded than earlier when they had passed by, but since the Christmas markets were still open, people were still there. But it gave them enough space to get near the tree and soak up the Christmas atmosphere once again.

They went near the tree, finding a perfect spot that gave them enough personal space and amazing view on the tree. The atmosphere became denser and they both lifted their heads up to look up at the sky as the snowflakes started to float through the air. It seemed that the snowfall had waited for their arrival here, welcoming them and becoming heavier and heavier with each passing second they stood there. As if the weather wanted to intensify the Christmas feeling with the typical winter image of snowy streets.

Their gazes turned to the tree, both enchanted by the beauty and falling into comfortable silence. Even the buzz around them became unimportant and they only heard the Christmas carols coming from the loudspeakers from the podium on the square. There were no performances on the podium but the carols continued playing, creating the magical atmosphere.

The combination of gold and blue decorations was stunning. The golden lights, giant golden baubles and gold flower-like decorations, accompanied by blue chains, blue snowflake-like decorations and blue stick-like baubles that indicated snowfall, with the golden comet on the top of the tree, completely enchanted him. And for a long while he stood there, hypnotized by the indescribable beauty. The enchanting scenery was stressed by the heavy snowfall.

It was just the right amount of sentiment for Tony to feel the Christmas spirit talking to him again. He felt the urge to sing the carols together with the music (despite not knowing the words), go buy gifts, have a hearty dinner with people he loved and just be merry. Like the old times. For a second there, though, he felt like Kevin McCallister in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, standing in front of the giant Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center, feeling all lost. But the certainty soon came back to him.

Unwittingly and subconsciously, his hand found Ziva's and she reacted by intertwining their fingers, firmly holding his hand. It wasn't just a casual hand holding. It was expression of joy that they were here together, sharing a breathtaking experience. That their meeting wasn't a dream, but fantastic reality. And that there were moments that just shouldn't see their end and this one was one of them.

Despite his reverie, Tony realized that they were holding hands and forced his eyes to tear off the gorgeous tree and look at her. She had a content, wide smile on her face, her eyes sparkling with happiness. Her eyelashes collected the snowflakes as she tilted her head to let the snow descend on her face. She looked smitten, head over heels with the magic splendor, and completely lost in her own world.

His intense gaze she had been subjected to so many times before, though, started to distract her. She tried her best to ignore it because she knew that once she would look into his eyes, she would lose it. "What?" She asked nervously, fixing her gaze at the tree.

He kept studying her, observing her nervousness for another while. "I forgot how beautiful you are." He confessed sincerely. He'd always appreciated her beauty, but after not seeing her for such a long time, she appeared to him as the most beautiful being in the world.

She felt her cheeks reddening as the heat washed over her, despite the freezing cold in the air. He had an unbelievable power to say things in a way she couldn't fathom. The deep sincerity, the great respect and the undeniable honesty were dripping from his voice and she couldn't ever tell that he was lying. Because he meant his words. He carefully chose them to prove his point.

She risked looking over at him and gasped upon seeing his eyes. The powerful weapon that couldn't kill, but certainly harm a lot. Especially if she allowed herself to see all the pain he tried to hide there. It hurt her, as well, because she knew that she had a great deal on his broken heart. But in spite of it, his gaze emitted only the warmth and the love for her, just as it had before their almost-kiss earlier this evening.

_No, no... Not this burning gaze of his, again. Not those gorgeous green eyes studying her intently, watching her every move. Not the lovesick expression that screamed 'kiss me'._ She lowered her head, not having enough strength to fight against his silent desire that mirrored her own. The kiss would be wrong. She couldn't give him what he wanted and he wasn't a single man.

However, he didn't seem to care. His heart screamed for her, silencing the reasonable thinking. He turned to her, releasing her hand and took his gloves off, shoving them into his pockets. Then, he took her by her chin and lifted her head up, putting his hands on her frozen cheeks. Their eyes met and she couldn't but stand helplessly there, being too weak to stop anything that was about to come.

He lovingly wiped away the wetness on her face, caused by the snow, warming it up by his hands. She could only stare, gratefully batting her eyelashes on him, no longer fighting against the erratic beating of her heart. It was pointless, anyway. He just had such a power over her. Without breaking the eye contact, Tony took her gloves off, too, putting them into her pockets.

Then, he took her by her hands, their fingers finally touching skin on skin. It was warm and electrifying, sending them both into the whirlwind of emotions. She didn't know what to say, so she stayed silent, not wanting to break the magic of the moment. The inevitable was about to happen and she couldn't do anything to prevent it, even if she wanted to.

From the moment on the bridge when she'd realized that her feelings for him were very much alive, it was clear to her that something would happen. No matter how much she tried to fight it and deny it, knowing it was wrong. Their love for each other was just too strong than anything else. All that had happened tonight was just stalling to get to the perfect moment, so they could let their feelings speak.

He leaned down to her, closing his eyes and lightly touching her nose with his own. She breathed out, the hot breath creating a steam in the chilly air. She squeezed his hands to hold onto something, never being so grateful for such a support. It seemed that her legs would betray her, if she didn't hold his hands. Being so close to him, she could feel that his body shivered and she could tell that the cold weather had nothing to do with it.

Parting her lips apart, she welcomed his hot lips on hers in a gentle kiss. This time, nothing torn them apart. They stayed glued together for a few seconds, savoring the pleasant feeling that pervaded their bodies from head to toe. Their heartbeats took up the same rhythm, their heads started to spin and everything around them disappeared. No thoughts, no doubts, no tears, no pain. Only pleasure.

He released her lips for a mere second, only to claim her mouth again. But this time releasing all the passion inside him. Kissing her felt heavenly. Now, when the kisses were stripped out of tears and pain, filled only with love. He immersed himself into her deeper and deeper, losing himself in the kiss completely. She was everything his heart wanted. Everything he desired.

Her beautiful, full lips moved against his, fervently trying to sate the hunger that came to life after such a long time. The emotions that raged through him made his mind go completely blank, not paying attention to anything. He loved her and only her, in spite of everything she had done to him. His heart knew no shame, it was chained to her and he couldn't do anything about it.

But the fiery kiss ended as soon as it had started. She suddenly yelped, released his hands and pushed him away from her. She breathed heavily, staring at him unbelievingly as if she didn't know what had possessed her that she had given in to her feelings so easily. However, her look was expectant in the same time as if she wanted from him to do something.

He was confused, not knowing what was going on with her. As he came back to his senses, though, he detected the reason why she had jumped back so quickly from him. His cell phone was buzzing in his pocket and since they had stood in a close proximity, she had had to feel it. If he had been on her place, he would have done the same thing, probably.

Cursing under his breath, hating that some things apparently didn't change, he pulled the phone out of his pocket. "DiNozzo!" He barked at the person on the other side of the line. He was too pissed off to look at the ID of the caller or consider not answering it. He needed to let out his anger for that someone interrupted the moment with the woman he loved, again.

" _So, are you finally picking up your phone, Spider?"_ The woman's voice asked him mockingly.

Tony closed his eyes, silently screaming other curses inside his head. This was a phone call he certainly didn't want to answer. "Zoe." He uttered, swallowing the rest of the swear words he would love to yell at her.

He looked over at Ziva who returned him the look, still trying to calm her breathing. She didn't look shocked or regretful. It seemed that she suspected who the caller was and that was why she had ended the kiss. He noticed the tremble of her bottom lip, though. He realized that by confirming that it was truly his girlfriend calling him, it brought a pang into her heart, nevertheless.

"What do you want?" He returned to his phone call, praying to end this conversation as soon as possible. His tone wasn't very welcoming.

That seemed to piss off the ATF agent, not liking the way he was talking to her. She'd had enough of it for the last few months. _"I don't know – maybe to know where in the hell you are?"_ She snapped, but kept her voice low enough. _"I've called you, texted you and all I've gotten is silence."_

He sighed wearily, rubbing his temple, wishing that he wouldn't have answered the call. "I told you I'm in Europe. You don't need to worry." He stayed reserved, not wanting to make a scene. He watched as Ziva sat down on the bench, touching her lips thoughtfully.

" _And where exactly are you?"_ Zoe continued in her inquiry. This whole trip of his was really suspicious to her. She had tried to find out where he'd gone but none of his colleagues seemed to know.

He lifted his eyes towards the sky, thanking McGee on the other side of the planet for not revealing his location. "It doesn't matter. I just need some time to be alone." He replied, his eyes fixed on Ziva, once more. It was obvious that she was thinking about something and he didn't like it. When she went too deep with her thoughts, it was dangerous. It usually meant absolute end of his hopes.

He ignored as much as he could the sarcastic huff on the other side of the line, because he truly didn't want to start an argument over the phone. _"That's the reason for all this secrecy? You need to be alone?"_ Zoe returned to her mocking tone. He could have been all alone in D.C. There was no need for him to flee overseas. His selfishness knew no boundaries lately. All he did was to think about himself.

Tony couldn't but roll his eyes in annoyance. He'd tried to explain the situation to her at least thousand times, yet she couldn't comprehend it. He knew he was selfish but it was his right to be selfish from time to time. He wondered why she hadn't broken up with him yet. Their relationship wasn't working. But neither of them seemed to have the courage to do the first step to end it.

"Yes, I do. I need to think about things." He informed her, his eyes still watching Ziva. The aftermath of the kiss was very intense because his body still trembled. He so much wanted to end this call, go over to her and kiss her so passionately that the Earth would move.

" _About us, for example?"_ Zoe asked him calmly this time, at peace with any kind of answer. She was staying with him because she knew that he needed someone who would help him not to drown. But her strength was leaving her. She didn't know for how long she could stand the current situation.

He stiffened, turning around away from Ziva. He didn't want her to see his face, nor to hear what he wanted to say. "Let's talk about this when I get back to D.C., OK?" He almost whispered, trying to be as quiet as he could. He didn't want to discuss their relationship over the phone, but he wanted to let her know that something was off.

" _And when will that be?"_ She asked him since he hadn't informed her for how long he intended to be on his holidays. She couldn't avoid the sarcasm in her voice, because deep down she suspected that if he didn't have to return, he wouldn't.

Sighing, he turned around to face Ziva again. She kept sitting on the bench, now looking at him closely. It seemed that she had made some kind of inner decision and he started to fear that. "Not sure now." He replied reservedly, trying to finish this conversation and get back to Ziva. He needed to assure himself that everything was okay between them. "I have to be in work by Monday, though. I'll call you then."

Zoe could hear in his voice that he didn't want to speak with her anymore. "Fine." She angrily ended the call, trying to reconcile with the fact that she wouldn't get the answers she so much wanted to hear.

He stared at the phone for a little while, trying to sort out his thoughts. His only wish was that she would give him peace for the rest of his holiday, so he wouldn't have to deal with her, again. One thing was certain, though. This relationship was nearing its end. There was nothing to save anymore. The only step left was to terminate it personally back in D.C.

He went over to Ziva, not knowing what to say. It was obvious that she knew whom he had been talking to. He wanted to erase those last few minutes from the history, return to the kiss and continue to devour her lips in the most delightful way. His heart was hers. No matter how wrong and painful it was. He couldn't help it, and he couldn't find any treatment for it at the moment.

He opened his mouth, not really ready to say any words, so he was grateful when she stood up and raised her hand to stop him. "Look, Tony... It was really nice to see you and all, but it's getting late." She told him simply. "I think we should call it a night."

His eyebrows furrowed in puzzlement and after a while, the cold that enveloped him got under his skin. He just felt as if someone poured a bucket of ice cold water on him. He looked directly into her eyes, trying to confront her with his usual searching gaze. But she held out, not taking any step back. Her eyes were cool and determined, her posture firm. She showed that she was going to persist on whatever decision she had made.

"Ziva, don't." He said, his voice dangerously low. He wasn't begging her right now. It'd been more like an order. "Don't act as if nothing happened."

She had changed. Her journey to find herself had been successful. He didn't want her to return to her old ways of denying things between them. Maybe it had been a wrong moment to show their feelings, he couldn't argue with that. But it didn't change anything on the fact that the kiss had happened. She just couldn't keep running away from it and pretend that things just didn't happen.

To his utter surprise, she didn't lower her gaze, but kept staring directly into his eyes. "I'm not acting as if nothing happened, Tony." She replied stoically. "Maybe you just read some signals wrong." She didn't like to do this, but she had her reasons. And none of them were that she tried to pretend that the kiss hadn't happened.

" _I_ read some signals wrong?!" He chuckled unbelievingly, throwing his hands into the air in frustration. He closed the gap between them, taking her by the arms so she wouldn't have the chance to turn away from him. "I just know that if she didn't call, we would be still kissing." He hissed under his breath, daring her to deny it and do what she always did – sweep things under the carpet.

"Yes, we would." She took his breath away by confirming his claim. She knew he was right and she had no reason to deny it. She still wanted to kiss him, but he needed to understand the situation. He wasn't single and she couldn't give him what he wanted.

He eyed her, completely confused. "But that's it, Tony. She called. You have a girlfriend." She reminded to him gently, slightly touching his face as he loosened the grip on her arms.

She didn't want the kiss to be the reason for a possible separation between him and Zoe. She knew that he wasn't happy in this relationship, but he was trying to make it work. And if he was trying, then it meant something to him. She wanted only the best for him and he couldn't have it with her. She would return to Israel soon, only with her memories and continue in her life. And he had to, as well. There was no reason for them to cross certain lines, if they didn't have any future.

He closed his eyes and gulped, letting go of her. The truthfulness of her words hit him like a ton of bricks. Until now, he had been living a wonderful dream. Reality of his life was forgotten and he didn't care about it. He only lived the present, enjoying spending time with her, listening to her voice. The kiss was an outcome of his delightful pleasure to be with her and an expression of his feelings.

" _One just not cheat anyone, not even the world of its victory."_

But he kept in mind what she had just reminded him. He had a life back in DC. A life that included his girlfriend. As much as he loved Ziva, and even though he knew that his relationship with Zoe was coming to its end, he couldn't cheat on her. If he was supposed to start something new, he wanted to do so with a clean shield. Not with a ghost of adultery behind him.

Not to mention that he also had to consider both Ziva's and his own heart. His feelings for her hadn't convinced her to come back with him to DC two years ago, so it probably wasn't enough even know. And he wasn't sure whether he was ready to reveal his feelings without seeking for more, and just leave with his memories when this holiday came to an end. And the same went for her, because he could feel that she was aware that their romance would be short-lived.

"I know, you're right." He sighed, stepping away from her as he rubbed his face. "I just wish things would have been different."

"Me too." She smiled at him sadly, not knowing what else to say. She really wished that things had turned out differently in the past. But happy endings weren't destined for her.

He looked at her, his heart aching at her genuine regret. He wondered whether they would ever be together. _Maybe in some different timeline, alternate universe, before an asteroid shatters the Earth..._ It seemed that they were made for each other, but there were so many obstacles standing in their way. Overcome each of them took so much strength. No wonder she didn't have it to fight anymore.

But he still didn't want to rob himself of the pleasure to spend the time with her in Prague. "The offer for the tour-guiding tomorrow still holds, right?" He asked, wanting to explore the rest she had promised him to show. He was scared that she might cut off their meeting right here and now, just because they had gotten carried away by their feelings.

She knew that she should decline and put an end to this before it could venture to the more dangerous waters. It was clear to her that the more time they would spend with each other, the more it would be harder to control their feelings. They were risking much more than a kiss. The attraction between them had increased over the last few hours, burning with a newborn flame. It was so hard to resist.

On the other hand, their friendship had revived, as well. And she'd been the one offering him to show him Prague around. She didn't want to disappoint his hopes and enthusiasm she had awakened in him. And she really enjoyed her tour-guiding role, loving to share her passions, interests and knowledge with him. It was nonsense to stop with the fun they'd been having because of a kiss.

"Sure, it does." She confirmed, dispersing his fears. She couldn't leave him alone wandering about a foreign city.

His body relaxed as the relief took over. "Thank you." He smiled at warmly, fighting the urge to take her in his arms again. He had to start learning how to control himself and behave reasonably.

She returned him the smile, feeling a bit uneasy, but still very pleased that she could make him happy. There were definitely many monuments to keep them occupied, without getting themselves into any romantic situation. She was already creating a list for tomorrow inside her head. It wasn't that different from the one she had prepared for herself earlier, before she had met him.

"Let me walk you to your hotel." He offered courteously. "I want to be sure you're safe."

She chuckled, pulling her gloves back on. "I can take care of myself, Tony." She protested. "Actually, I should walk you to your hotel, so you wouldn't get lost."

He shifted his weight from one leg on the other, shrugging wearily. "Don't worry about me. My hotel isn't far away from here. Where are you staying?" He insisted. She should already know that he wasn't going to let her go without knowing where to find her. He had done that twice in the past. Some mistakes didn't have to be repeated.

"Where's your hotel?" She fired back. She mostly wanted to assure herself that he knew which way to go, in case she gave in and let him to walk her to her hotel.

He couldn't help but chuckle and shake his head at her. It was adorable that she cared for him like that, but he was a big boy with GPS in his phone. "On Kampa Island, just by the stairs up the Charles Bridge. It's a narrow green building." He informed her to calm her down.

Her eyes widened, though, which was a reaction he didn't expect. She stared at him for a while, falling into awkward and strange silence. "U Jezulatka?" She breathed out the name of the hotel, her heart pounding wildly.

"Yeah." He nodded in agreement, but then furrowing his eyebrows as it hit him that she knew the name of the hotel. "Wait... You don't want to tell me that-"

"That I have a room there? Yeah, I do." She finished for him, wondering how the hell this was possible.

She could deal with one coincidence of meeting him in Prague. But the fact that they both were accommodated in the same hotel that had only six rooms available was too much for her. This city was full of hotels, it offered thousands of vacant rooms. _How come that he'd chosen the one she was staying in?_ She had to agree with him that if Fate wasn't behind this, she should start believe in something between Earth and Hell.

He was amused with the coincidence, as well, laughing and lifting his eyes towards the sky to find the answer on his questions there. Fate was really messing with him. "See? You're not going to get rid of me so easily, sweet cheeks." He winked at her teasingly. Then, he took her by the hand and started their way to the hotel.

_**The End of Chapter 6** _

* * *

* Henry II., Holy Roman Emperor (973 – 1024), also known as King of Italy, King of Germany and Duke of Bavaria, the last member of Ottonian dynasty. Czech translation of the name Henry is Jindřich, hence the name of the tower.

** The radio provides news, information and analysis to countries in Eastern Europe, Central Asia and the Middle East where the free flow of information is either banned by government authorities or not fully developed.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 7** _

They walked through the streets absent-mindedly. Neither of them said anything since they were both lost in their thoughts about the strangeness of life. The snow continued falling, creating thin blanket on the cobblestones. And since some places were deserted, completely untouched areas of snow were frequent. It slowed their pace because the streets were suddenly very slippery.

Her thoughts were occupied with contemplations about the future. If Fate had brought them together like that, then she should start thinking what would happen after this holiday end. He'd offered her a regular contact again, and she was ready to welcome it with open arms. But she also had to consider her influence on his life. She didn't want him to destroy his relationships because of her.

Coming back to his life would also mean enter the lives of the others in his surroundings. When it came to his colleagues, she knew that she would have to deal with them first, of course. She'd been once part of their lives as well, after all. _But how would his girlfriend react on her presence in his life, despite being thousands of miles apart? What had Tony told about her to his girlfriend?_

She wished that he would have been more talkative about his relationship with Zoe, so she could make her own opinion. She understood his reason not to share much, though. Maybe she should let him know that she wanted to know more and make him talk. Then, she could make some decision about appearing in his life regularly again. She couldn't think only about herself in this situation, but consider things from all angles.

In the meantime, Tony's mind was occupied with the similar thoughts. He wanted her back in his life, even as a friend. This meeting with her had made him realize how much he was addicted to know what she was doing, and whether she was doing well. It wasn't just about his feelings for her. Their friendship was very strong, and he missed the bond he had with her terribly.

His greatest problem was whether she wanted to be back in his life. She had admitted that she missed them and would love to try to rekindle relationship with all of them. But whether she would really do it, that was a question he yet needed to get answer on. He didn't want to push her. The decision needed to be hers only, and the only thing he could to boost her desire to stay in contact was to assure her that they would all welcome her back.

He also thought about Zoe and how to end the relationship between them without any further harm. He had hurt her once already, not to mention that he was hurting her with his behavior over the last few months. But it didn't make any sense to stay in this relationship anymore. It wasn't working and they both knew it. She'd stayed with him probably out of pity, anyway.

In silence, they reached Charles Bridge. There were couple of people there, mostly trying to make some perfect winter snowy shots. Other than that, it was noticeable that the night was settling down and the city was falling into a slumber. It was delightful to stand there with the feeling that they were ones of the few on the bridge at the moment, basking in the beauty of the view on Prague Castle.

Tony came to a standstill near the place where he had noticed Ziva earlier. Leisurely, he leaned against the bridge wall, putting his arms on it and lifting his gaze towards the illuminated castle towering over the city. The heavy snowfall misted the view a bit, but it was still just as breathtaking as always. _And the silence around them..._ He took a deep breath to inhale the atmosphere and fill his chest with peace.

She stood next to him from left side, mirroring his position. She shared the enchantment with him, knowing that no words were needed. There was no way to describe the feeling aroused by the scenery around them. She pushed the thoughts about future back for now and reflected on tonight, everything she had experienced with him and what happiness it had brought into her heart.

"One could stare like that for hours, right?" He uttered after long moments of silence. He didn't know for how long they had been standing like that, but he just couldn't tear his eyes off the view.

She laughed softly in response, looking over at him briefly. "There's a poem Franz Kafka wrote, that is always on my mind whenever I stand here." She said. "Actually, I was thinking about it when you started talk to me earlier. It perfectly captures this scenery." Her eyes glistened with a strange, nostalgic blaze.

"Tell me." He nudged her shoulder lightly with his own.

She rubbed her hands and sighed deeply, hoping that she still remembered it. "People who walk across dark bridges," she began, turning around and leaning her back against the bridge wall, "past saints," she paused and looked over at the statues on the pillars of the bridge, "with dim, small lights." Her eyes lingered at the lantern-like lights that illuminated the way across the bridge.

"Clouds which move across gray skies," she continued, looking up at the sky where no gray was dominant at the moment since the street lights colored the clouds into orange tone, but it wasn't that hard to imagine. "Past churches with towers darkened in the dusk." Her gaze turned to the left as she let her eyes roam over the dome of nearby Baroque St. Francis of Assisi Church, ending up her gaze at the Old Town Bridge Tower.

She then turned back into her previous position, mirroring his once again. "One who leans against the granite railing gazing into the evening waters," she continued smoothly, staring down on the Vltava River below them, "his hands resting on old stones." She finished with a look at his hands touching the stones of almost 700-year old bridge wall.

He finally let himself to breathe out since he'd been listening to her holding his breath. He was mesmerized by the words she had been saying. It was sending shivers down his spine. "Wow," he managed to let out, "I just love when history breathes on you like this."

He looked over at all those things that had been mentioned in the poem – dark bridge, statues of Saints, lights, sky, churches with towers, the granite railing and evening waters. It felt as if Franz Kafka was standing right beside him, writing those words down, only about a hundred years earlier. It was fascinating and captivating to actually get close to the history in such a way.

"Says the one who complained about this city being full of towers and churches." She remarked teasingly, biting her bottom lip to stress her playfulness

"That was just an observation." He protested with a raised finger to make his point.

She stuck her tongue at him cheekily, turning around as she continued walking down the bridge to reach their hotel. He stared at her back for a while, but then took few steps after her, since she glanced over her shoulder to see if he was following her. He didn't want her to know what kind of malicious idea he had on his mind. It was time to bring on some good old banter.

Pretending to admire the view while walking, he scooped enough snow from the bridge wall to create a snowball. He thoroughly shaped it, still being careful so she wouldn't notice what he was doing. He aimed the snowball at her and threw it, hitting her back. He laughed heartily as she stopped in her tracks, apparently shocked that he had to dare to do it.

She suspected that he might do something like that. It was so typical of him, after all. But to start such a playful war while she hadn't been facing him... It was time for a little revenge. She quickly scooped snow from the ground as well, creating a snowball as he started to grimace at her, challenging her to hit him. She only followed his movements with her eyes, waiting for the right moment.

She pretended to throw the snowball at him and when he jumped aside, as she expected, she threw the snowball into that direction, hitting his chest. He gasped since the snowball was really hard and she was a marvelous marksman. Glaring at her impishly, since her face was shining with an evil smile, he darted after her with intent to knock her down and bath her in the snow.

She was quick enough, though, and broke into run before he could get near her. In no time, she reached the last statues on the bridge. Laughing, she turned around but stopped the moment she realized that Tony wasn't behind her. She quickly scanned the bridge again but he just wasn't anywhere to be seen. And he couldn't hide behind the statues.

Then it hit her that she had run by the staircase down to the Kampa Island. He was probably there, waiting for her to realize that she could take a shortcut. Her evil smile returned into her face as she scooped the snow from the railing, creating two other snowballs and returning back up to reach the staircase. She was on alert, just in case he would try to startle her.

She crept up to the two stones posts where the staircase started. Carefully, she looked around but didn't see anything, although she could see the footsteps in the snow. She went onward with the two snowballs in her hands behind her back. Suddenly, Tony jumped out and booed at her, as he had been hiding behind the staircase wall for the whole time. She didn't shriek out or look scared as he expected, because she had too much work with keeping her balance.

The fresh snow on the stone staircase was too much for her already, and her feet slipped. He immediately caught her by her waist, pressing her to him and helping her find the steadiness. She gratefully used his body as leverage, ignoring for now the warm feeling inside her. Her body was well aware of his hands. The reaction was natural, but unwelcomed. She couldn't let her feelings to control her once more.

_So, why was she unable to tear her eyes off his lips? His full, warm, soft lips? Why did she have the urge to attach them to hers and lose herself?_ It was so wrong and she shouldn't have these thoughts. Especially after she'd given to it earlier. She needed to respect his relationship with his girlfriend and stop thinking about her feelings for him. Things were as they were and she couldn't do anything to change it.

One look into his eyes that were purely focused on her lips was enough for her to know what he was thinking about. And she needed to prevent it. It was time to use the two snowballs she had made. So, taking advantage of his distraction by his desire to kiss her, she lifted her hands and stuffed the snowballs behind the collar of his coat. She even managed to get the snow under his scarf.

With a laugh, she swiftly broke herself free out of his embrace and ran down the rest of the stairs. She turned around and looked up at him, expecting him to have fun, as well. But he didn't seem to be amused. He slowly walked down the stairs while sweeping the snow out of his coat, looking defeated and sad. He sent her a forced and dispassionate smile just to please her, but it didn't reach his eyes.

He seemed very disappointed, but didn't tell her a word. Instead he headed straight to the hotel with her being on his tail. She went inside after him and wondered feverishly what to say to patch things up. She didn't want to leave him to go into his room in such a mood. Not after the beautiful and delightful evening they had spent together. It would mean that she had failed him.

"Where's your room at? I'll walk you up." He asked her to her utter surprise, but without any emotion. As if it was a duty he had to do as a gentleman.

"Third floor, the one on the right." She answered, still taken aback with his sudden shift of mood.

He beckoned her with his hand and she started the way up the stairs, passing by the beautiful artistic piece of works on the wall, including the imitation of the astronomical clock. He followed her, but slowly and without any energy. She was ready not to let him go, until he would tell her what was wrong with him. After all, she didn't have anything to be afraid of anymore.

He escorted her to the door of her room, pulling his gloves off in the process. She turned around, looking up at him expectantly. She hoped that her look would be enough to make him talk. But he just stood there, looking a bit lost. He focused his eyes on her face, memorizing her features at least for the thousandth time this evening. It didn't seem that he wanted to leave, although he knew he should.

"It was really nice to see you." He said, lifting his hand and after a short second of hesitation, touching her face and palming her cheek.

She couldn't comprehend how he was able to go from grumpy Tony into adorable version of himself with the burning, warm gaze of his in such a short amount of time. "It was really nice to see you, too." She replied, not daring to break the eye contact.

He smiled at her. And that genuine smile made her realize that his gloomy mood had nothing to do with her. He was disappointed in himself. She could see the inner tension reflecting in his face. He apparently struggled with himself, fighting the battle between his heart and his brain. His feelings for her versus his fidelity towards his girlfriend. And she found herself in the state when she longed for knowing more.

"Look, I know it goes against what I said earlier. But I wouldn't mind if you wanted to come inside for a little bit more talk." She invited him. She was determined to untie his tongue whatever it cost. Even if it meant to get him drunk.

He licked his lips, biting his bottom one thoughtfully, pondering her invitation. He wanted to go, he wanted to talk with her more. But he also knew what was on the other side of the door. Enough alcohol in the mini bar for him to get tipsy, large comfortable bed and woman he was in love with. And who was making him crazy with how gorgeous she looked.

"Okay." He uttered weakly. The kiss, he had so much wanted to give her a few minutes ago, had taken too much of his strength and willpower. He was weak, so it was better to let Fate decide his destiny instead of him. And Fate apparently wanted him to with her into her room.

With a smile she turned around and unlocked the room. She went inside, unbuttoning her coat and switching the lights on. He went after her, taking into his surroundings. The room was just as big as his, only the furniture was placed in a different way. Since they were at the roof, the ceiling on one side was sloped, supported by a wooden pillar in the middle of the room.

On the right side from the entrance, there was a wooden cupboard with a plasma TV on it and wooden wardrobe. The bed was placed between two roof windows, filling rest of the space on the right side of the room, with the pillar at the foot of the bed. On the left side, there was a door from the bathroom and behind a corner, there was a toilet table with an antique chair.

She hung her coat on a coat-stand in the corner between the wardrobe and cupboard, taking her shoes off. She turned on the radio she'd brought with herself, so the atmosphere wouldn't be that awkward, and headed over to the toilet table. A pile of fresh home clothes was waiting for her there. She put her bag down and pulled out the gingerbread heart, putting it on display on the table.

"Please sit, and make yourself at home." she pointed her finger on the bed, taking the clothes into her hands. "I'll just change quickly into something comfortable." She said and disappeared into bathroom, letting him stand there.

He sighed and rubbed his face, wishing that he was stronger than he actually felt. He took off his coat, hanging it on the coat-hanger just as she had done so, while musing about why she had invited him inside. It was clear to him that she really wanted to talk and that it wasn't invitation for sex, though it could have looked like that. He was just afraid about what she wanted to talk about. Reasonably, he feared that she wanted to hear about Zoe. And he definitely wasn't ready for that.

Deeply lost in thoughts, he sat on the bed, throwing the covers away. Bending down, he untied his shoes and took them off, together with his socks. He sat cross-legged on the bed, taking one of the smaller pillows as he put it into his lap. He just felt that he needed some protection and the pillow served as a good one. It couldn't save him from physical harm, but it was a good psychological tool.

The room was well heated and since he suspected he would get roasted in the following moments, he pulled his sweater over his head. When he looked up, she was standing there with a strange gleam in her eyes, as if she was ogling him. With a tentative smile, feeling a bit embarrassed that he'd caught her staring at him, she turned to the cupboard and opened it, revealing the mini bar inside.

She took two beer bottles from the small fridge and opened them with a bottle opener. There were also two glass beer mugs in the mini bar with the logo of Pilsner Urquell since the beer was of the same brand, so she took them out. Pouring the beer into her mug first, she went over to the toilet table and put the mug down. Then, she poured the second mug, handing it over to him.

"I could drink it from the bottle." He commented, accepting the mug and taking a sip from the delicious golden brew.

"People in this country would kill you for that." She replied with a smile as she sat cross-legged opposite of him on the antique chair, leaning against the backrest.

He chuckled and wiped off the foam from his mouth, setting the mug on the pillow in his lap. Then he looked at her and waited for what was about to come. She was looking at him curiously and almost scientifically as if he was an exhibit in a museum. She waited for him to start talking because he was smart enough to know about what, or whom to be exact, she wanted to hear about.

"So..." she began when he only returned her the look and remained silent, "tell me about her."

He gulped the beer. Deeply. Although he had expected such a question, it still took him by surprise. "I don't think this is a good idea." He politely refused, scratching his head to avoid an eye contact with her.

She smiled grimly, playing with her mug. She expected his refusal. She knew him long enough to know that he didn't like to cross certain lines when it came to his privacy. And this was a serious personal matter that concerned him very much. She had experienced his reluctance to talk about Jeanne, Wendy or EJ. This was no different as she could see. That meant that Zoe had to mean something more to him than just a more-than-one-night thing.

"Why?" She asked him, just to make him talk more and detect his fear. She hadn't been afraid to talk with him about Ben earlier. It had just felt awkward and strange, but it hadn't been fear.

He looked at her, his eyes swelling with the love for her, yet with unbelieving gleam. _She hadn't feel comfortable with talking about her romantic encounters, so why he should be okay with it?_ "I think you know very well why." He replied dryly, his eyes boring into hers.

She took a gulp of her beer, not breaking the eye contact with him. "Tony, whatever has happened or hasn't happened between us, doesn't stop me from being curious." She pointed out, explaining her desire to know more about his relationship with his current girlfriend.

"And you obviously _need_ to talk about it with someone." She continued encouragingly. "So, talk to me."

She noticed that he hadn't let everything out. He had shared everything about Gibbs, but he was plagued by more troubles than this. And she still wanted to hear him out, just as she had done so earlier. She was aware that she might get to hear things that would concern her and that it might be painful for her. But her friendship with Tony meant more to her than her own feelings and emotions. There had been times when he needed a rock to rely on, and this was one of them.

She just had the wonderful gift to easily distinguish when Tony needed a chat. And when he'd looked at her those few minutes ago as they had been standing at the door to her room, she could see the same look he'd had when he felt the urge to tell her about his mother. Subconsciously, he'd hoped that she would force him to another talk. And so, she had decided to fulfill his unspoken wish.

He remained refusing, though. His eyes were focused on the beer, reluctant to start talking. He didn't even know where to start. He appreciated her effort to be that listening friend he could confide to. Unfortunately, his relationship with Zoe had a lot to do with her personally, and he didn't want her to know how much her departure had broken him. Considering that their feelings for each other were still pretty much alive, and he tried to be strong so he wouldn't give in to them, he couldn't dare to show his weaknesses.

She sighed wearily, realizing that she needed to pump him for getting the information she needed to know. She knew that he just tried to be thoughtful of her, but it wasn't really necessary. "How did you two meet?" She asked, taking a mouthful gulp from her beer.

"On a case. She's an ATF agent." He answered without thinking, biting his tongue the moment he'd let the words out. He didn't know what was it about Ziva, but her relatively unforced approach to make him talk, always loosened his tongue.

He knew that he didn't have any other choice but to continue. "We were tracking down a terrorist for a murder, setting up a meeting with him through internet because he ran a terrorist website." He explained. "Turned out that ATF got him months before and just kept his online profile running to check out any potential threats. So, he couldn't be our murder suspect."

He ran his hands through his hair nervously, but kept his voice steady. "Anyway, she ran this ATF operation and when we met her at the set-up meeting, she recognized me."

Ziva furrowed her eyebrows thoughtfully. _Did it mean that those two already knew each other?_ She waited for him to finish drinking as he took two mouthful gulps to wet his throat. When he looked at her, feeling actually relieved that he'd gotten part of the story out of him, she raised an eyebrow at him, stressing her curiosity. She wanted to hear more, especially if there was some history between them.

"We've known each other from before." He confirmed to get rid of her inquiring gaze that made him squirm. "We worked together when I did a brief stint in Philly before I went to Baltimore. We were, you know, hanging out."

She inhaled deeply as she finally comprehended what role this woman had played in his life. "Ah, so an old flame." She stated, unsurprised. She'd seen Tony together with his great love Wendy, so she guessed that once he'd met Zoe, the tension between would rise again.

"Strange, I don't remember that you've ever talked about her." She wondered, however. It wasn't that Tony would share each woman he'd ever dated with, but the team knew about the most significant ones. And his current one-night stands, of course. Zoe's name had never been mentioned in any case, though.

He shrugged his shoulders, actually feeling relieved that he had started to talk about his relationship with Zoe. "There wasn't much to talk about. It was no strings attached, so nothing serious." He explained briefly.

She arched her eyebrows slightly. Hearing those words, she couldn't help but wonder whether Zoe felt it the same. She didn't know much about her, but she seemed to take things seriously with Tony. And his lack of desire to commit was quite famous and she had no doubt that it had had roots in his teenage years. It seemed odd that the woman would step twice into the same water, especially knowing Tony from earlier.

"Why it didn't work out?" She asked curiously to find out what had been behind their break up those years ago, so she could get the whole picture.

He sighed, raking his hair and shrugging his shoulders, again. "I left one day without a word." He answered simply. "Don't ask me why, I don't remember. I guess it had something to do with my job in Baltimore." He added before she could inquire him further. His memory wasn't what it used to be and he truly didn't remember.

She only grimaced in response, respecting his wish and, rather, focusing on something different that was bugging her. "And she forgave you that?" It had been beyond rude to leave like that, although things between them hadn't been serious back then. Especially if the relationship had had certain duration.

He looked at her quizzically and from her gaze, he deduced that she thought that he'd been the one who pursued the relationship with Zoe. That he'd made the efforts to start something serious with that woman. That even though he'd behave unfair to his old flame, he'd managed to reconcile with her and redeem himself. However, that was really wrong assumption. Because he had done none of those.

"You have to understand one thing." He warned her. "I wasn't seeking this relationship."

He didn't want to defend himself, but he wanted her to know how things really were. "After we met her, I was really glad to see her again. We had a little chat, but that was all. I had no desire to chase after her and make her to have a drink with me." And that was the truth after all. He'd been pretty much caught up in missing the person that was currently sitting in front of him, than having any thoughts about starting anything serious with his ex-lover.

"But the others thought that it might be good for me, that she seems as a promise of a long-term relationship. And then she came to me by herself, telling me that it all belongs to the past and we should look into the future." He explained further, clarifying those events that had led him to begin relationship with Zoe.

"At first, I thought that we would be just friends. But, I was too weak and tired of fighting against everyone's expectations about my personal life." He said. "So, I just gave in. I did what everybody expected of me."

His heart hadn't healed enough to be prepared for such a relationship. However, people had wanted him to move on. And he understood why they had pushed him to do something else than constantly sulk over himself. Nevertheless, he hadn't been ready and that was why his relationship with Zoe was condemned from the very beginning. Subconsciously, he knew that sooner or later, it would start falling apart.

Ziva listened to him, sending him an apologetic look to apologize silently for her precipitate thoughts. He'd caught up himself in a vicious circle, just because he hadn't wanted to be selfish and hurt people around him. He'd been weak and reckless, doing things just to make the others happy and convince himself that everything he'd done was also good for him.

"Hm, maybe that's what's behind your current problems with her? Because you actually didn't feel ready to be in a relationship with her?" She suggested thoughtfully, wanting to help him.

"Or what do _you_ see as the real problem? The basic one." She asked. She wanted to avoid saying that he 'subconsciously sabotaged his relationship' with her, because he actually hadn't intended to go things this serious. She mostly wanted to know whether he'd ever thought so deeply about why things hadn't been working out between them.

He scratched his head and took a gulp from his beer pensively. He'd thought about it many times, trying to implement some changes. But nothing seemed to work to improve the situation. "It's the same as you mentioned with that Ben of yours." He answered. "She doesn't understand me in a way I need."

He knew that she'd tried many times. All over again. But somehow, she just couldn't grasp his behavior. The differences in their lives were just too great. He'd been through many things she hadn't been, thus to understand why he reacted on certain situations the way he did, wasn't easy for her. And it was tiring them both, because the constant pitiful arguments were meaningless.

"And is it her fault or yours?" Ziva fired at him immediately.

He blinked a few times to get rid of the confusion that arose in him. "What do you mean?" He hadn't said any of that to put blame on someone. He knew that he was hard to deal with lately.

She sighed and put the glass down on the table behind her. "Doesn't she understand because she doesn't want to understand?" She offered patiently. "Or doesn't she understand because you've never explained to her why do you feel the way you feel? Why is your relationship with Gibbs so important to you? Why do you react the way you do?"

He didn't ponder his answer this time. "She should understand." He remarked. "I've told her about half of my life. I told her about Wendy, Jeanne, Jenny, Kate..." His voice broke for a mere second. "I told her about my father and Gibbs. She should be able to understand. But she's not."

Ziva furrowed her eyebrows in puzzlement. "Wait, wait, wait... What is the other half you haven't told her about? Maybe it's essential for understanding you, Tony." She noticed that he hadn't mentioned his mother, but that couldn't include the whole other half of his life.

The fear she saw in his eyes when he lifted his irises to her took her by surprise. She couldn't remember whether she'd ever seen such a primal, raw fear emitting from him. He suddenly looked so vulnerable, so small, so timid. It was obvious that he feared to give her the answer. Because it was probably a painful one and he'd been avoiding that pain for far too long to feel it again.

"You." He peeped after a long second of silence. "I couldn't bring myself to tell her about you."

His voice was far off from steady, quivering with emotions as they raged through him. He didn't break the eye contact with her, though. She had decided that she would make him talk, so he was doing so openly. After everything he'd revealed, it had no meaning to keep anything from her. And it evidently shocked her, because her gasp was audible to his ears very clearly.

"She knows nothing about you. Only that you were my coworker who left for some reason. She has no idea what we two have been through, what do you mean to me, what I fe-" He cut himself off before he could reveal more, because he still wanted to keep certain things for himself. Rather, he licked his lips and left the words to sink in. He'd said more than he'd intended, anyway.

Ziva felt as if someone poured a bucket of ice cold water on her. The shock flooded her body and pierced her heart in the most vulnerable place of all. The more she knew, the more she suffered as she was finally uncovering the extent of Tony's broken heart. The heart she had broken more than once. And since he'd been the last one she'd ever wanted to hurt so much, this conversation was starting to turn into a torture for her.

"Why?" She whispered her question, unable to breathe properly.

He chuckled sardonically. It was ironic, considering that for the whole time in here, he had tried to hide how much he'd been actually hurt by those events of her leaving. Now, he didn't have many chances but to tell the naked truth. "Honestly, Ziva, when I returned from Israel, I wasn't able to speak with anyone about what happened. I wasn't able to even say your name." He explained. He'd been exhausted, tired and dejected. He'd needed to absorb all of what had happened over that faithful summer, and then he could talk.

"So, sorry if everyone might not fully understand those reasons why you left. But I r-" He said, feeling a bit guilty that he hadn't talked with his friends about it and hadn't given them any details.

"It's okay, Tony." She cut him off, shaking her head. "It wasn't your story to tell, but mine."

From the emails she'd gotten from Abby, she'd realized that Tony hadn't been very talkative. But since she'd been refusing any contact with her past, she hadn't answered any of the messages and let Abby think whatever she'd made up. Not a good decision, she knew. Abby would certainly understand. Like that, it looked as if she hadn't cared at all and had been a horrendous friend.

"But if I understand it correctly, you and Zoe met after more than a year I left. Why haven't you been able to tell her about me, then?" She asked naturally. She understood that he'd grieved for some time but he was a strong and rational man. He couldn't mourn for her for years. One of the reasons, why she hadn't been afraid to let him go, had been that she knew that he would move on eventually and continue to live.

Sighing, he hated her for choosing those moments from his life to talk about. Those were exactly those things he had no intention to reveal to her. Yet, she knew what to ask to break him and give away the information. This talk was turning into something he hadn't wanted to happen. But he'd already opened the door and truth to be told, it was helping him to get rid of the inner tension he'd been feeling for the last few months.

"The reason why the others thought that it might be good for me to become closer with Zoe was that they wanted me to move on." He said quietly. "I was going through a hard phase at that time. I terribly missed you."

The way he'd said those last four words left no doubts in Ziva about his sincerity. She'd recognized that he'd missed her not only as a woman he'd had feelings for, but also as a friend who had used to bring light-hearted fun into his life with their teasing banter. He'd missed them solving the cases, having movie nights and talking about everything and nothing.

"I was in no mood to tell her what was going on with me." He continued distantly. "She did all the talking. Gradually, I started to reveal what I'd been up to for the last few years. But I avoided you because I still wasn't ready to dive into this topic. Then, it was too late to bring it up after such a long time."

She nodded in response understandingly. He'd tried to forget about things that were too painful for him to talk about. And when he'd been ready to reveal them, it would have raised only confusion because people around him had deemed him for moved on. And it would have certainly brought problems into his relationship with Zoe, especially if he had told her about everything they had been through together.

Still, he couldn't avoid it anymore. Maybe it was the last piece of the jigsaw the woman needed to understand the behavior of her boyfriend. Things between them could be good again. "But you can't hide this from her forever, Tony. Especially if your relationship with her is supposed to continue, especially if you..." She paused for a moment, asking herself silently if she was ready herself to hear the answer.

"Do you love her?" She asked him, her heart beating erratically, no matter how hard she tried to deny it.

He stared absentmindedly on some invisible spot on the floor, not daring to look directly into her eyes for some reason. "I don't know." He confessed sadly. "And I'm being honest. I truly have no idea." He added for certainty just in case she would try to accuse him of a lie.

Despite her efforts not to feel relieved and delighted, she did feel exactly like that. Although it still didn't have to mean anything good for her. She knew that he'd been honest because she knew how seriously he took love. He could have thousands of relationships, but love meant a lot more to him. It wasn't something he would ever lie about. She was sure about this point very much.

"I mean, there's something but I wouldn't call it love." He continued to meditate about his feelings for his girlfriend. "Certainly not that kind of crazy love I would ever risk my life for."

Ziva stiffened and gulped down the lump in her throat. _Unlike for her_. He had risked his life many times, almost dying in the process, just to save her life, just to avenge her alleged death, just to help her to get her revenge. And she knew very well that he hadn't been driven just by his duty as her partner. His feelings for her, his genuine concern about her life were primarily those elements that had led him to life-threatening situations.

This knowledge was one of the reasons why she'd needed to let him go. He deserved more than she was and she couldn't watch anymore how he was risking so much for her, while she'd been unable to do the same. Her past, her demons – they were something she had to deal with on her own, although she knew that he desired to be by her side. But to be the better person for him, she needed to do this alone.

Her heart beat wildly and she hated herself for it. _What this man was doing to her?_ She'd been perfectly fine until she'd met him on the bridge. His words shouldn't have such an effect on her. Yet, they did. And she hadn't found only that no matter how much she tried, her feelings for him were only stronger and stronger, and that he loved her back, as well. But she'd also found out how much pain she'd caused him by her rejection and departure.

" _It certainly was not my intention to make you suffer, yet I have done so; obviously it never will be my intention to make you suffer, yet I shall always do so."_

She stood up from her chair and went over to the bed, sitting on it next to him despondently. "I'm sorry, Tony." She whispered hoarsely.

He gulped his beer down, furrowing his eyebrows. "For what?" He asked. It wasn't that she didn't have anything to apologize for, but he wanted to be sure what was the reason of her apology.

She stared in front of her, unable to look into his eyes. "For everything I've done to you. For all the pain I've caused." She uttered unhappily. She knew that she wasn't responsible for his feelings, but it didn't mean that her wrongdoings towards him were justified.

She realized that her sincerity could be doubted, so she mustered the courage and shifted her position. She turned to him with her right leg folded under her, while her left leg hung over the rim of the bed slightly touching the floor, and lifted her gaze up to him. She noticed immediately the mixture of surprise, confusion, relief and curiosity in his face. The desire to tell him what she had the urge to tell him multiplied at that moment.

"Things could have been different if I hadn't pushed you away," she began, fiercely keeping the eye contact to prove her honesty, "if I hadn't been so scared and refusing."

"If I hadn't been so stubborn and admitted..." she paused to lick her dry lips and correct her words, " _accepted_ my feelings earlier and acted on them. If I..."

More of her speech was cut short as he squeezed her lips in a pout, not allowing her to utter another word. "Ziva, stop." He pleaded her quietly. "I don't want this for you."

Living in world of 'what ifs' was bad enough to go crazy and since she'd been so successful in rebuilding her life, he truly didn't want her to regret it. Especially not for him, because he'd made some wrong decisions, too. They were both to blame for the messy situation of their relationship. So, there was no reason for her to start doubting everything she'd achieved over the last two years.

"Trust me, as a person who's torturing himself with these 'what ifs scenarios' for the past few months, it has no meaning. It doesn't lead you anywhere." He kindly pointed out, releasing her lips and putting his beer aside on the bedside table.

She nodded shortly, trembling as he turned back to her, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Besides, it's who we are." He continued. "You aren't the only who have made some mistakes. I have my part of guilt, too."

He gently caressed her cheek, losing in her tormented irises, wishing that he could take all the pain away. "And maybe we were giving too much importance to certain things we actually shouldn't." He uttered seriously.

She closed her eyes and gulped, knowing very well what he had meant. _Rule 12. Their loyalty to Gibbs._ Things that had stood between them for far too long and they had been both afraid to cross them. Neither of them had had the courage to oppose those rules and break them. And when they had finally had the chance, something had always intervened into their lives.

Opening her eyes, she found him staring at her with his typical intense burning gaze. The one that had always gotten under her skin, the one that had made her all giddy inside, wanting to kiss him and devour him. _What else she could think about, after all?_ This man in front of her had gone through hell and back to show her how deeply he was in love with her. And both her heart and her mind were in love with him.

Her mind, however, was still aware of the topic of the current conversation that was going on – his girlfriend. "Don't look at me like that." She begged him. She'd escaped twice from this tempting trap tonight. She couldn't give in to it once again.

He sent her a dazzling smile that would be able to disarm anyone in a 5-kilometer perimeter. "Why not?" He asked her innocently.

He wasn't looking at her this way on a purpose. He just didn't have anything else to hide from her. He had just poured his battered heart completely. She knew everything, even those things he'd had no intention to tell her and he'd tried to avoid since he'd met her. There was no point for him not to show his true self and his feelings. He was head over heels with her and nothing could change it.

"Because it makes me to do things I shouldn't be doing." She answered, her voice quivering as he played with her curls between his fingers. It was harder and harder for her to control herself. They had revealed most of their feelings, both current and past. All they needed was to seal the deal. And even though her willpower had been strong so far, she wasn't made out of stone.

"Like?" He prompted, knowing very well what he was getting himself into. Truth to be told, he didn't care anymore. He was so emotionally drained after everything he had revealed, that he had zero strength to fight against his sense for fidelity.

Her eyes slipped down on his lips as she parted her own, licking them in anticipation. Her pulse quickened immediately as she started to sweat, trying to suppress her desire. But the more she was looking at his lips, feeling him to leaning his head towards her, the more she was losing it. The temptation was too great and she had been resisting for far too long.

She managed to look into his eyes and that was the last drop for her. Cupping his head, she closed the remaining distance between them and started to suck on his lips with unbridled passion. He moaned into her mouth quite vocally and not at all in the protest. His hands immediately buried in her hair, caressing it because he couldn't get enough of her beautiful, smooth curls.

He didn't know what possessed her but he couldn't care less since this kiss was everything he wanted. His hands slipped down on her back, embracing her and not giving her any chance to pull away. Not that she wanted to. On the contrary, she moved up closer to him, pressing her body to his as she played with his hair on the nape of his neck.

She was purely focused on moving her lips against his in full, ardent moves, blocking away all the warnings in her head. Rather, she tried to silence them with her thinking influenced by her love for him. _He was hers and hers only. At least for now, because he had a girlfriend. But he was hers first, wasn't he? Just because Zoe had been his 'no-strings-attached buddy' ages ago didn't mean that he belonged to her._

_Besides, he loved her and not Zoe. He had told her so. Once. Twice. More than she could count. He had proved his loved so many times. By his words. By his actions. By risking his life. And definitely by his kisses and touches that were setting her skin on fire at this very moment._ She was ready to give herself over to him unconditionally, because he bloody deserved it.

They broke the kiss for a little moment to inhale, though the dizziness ruling in their heads had nothing to do with the lack of oxygen. He leaned in immediately, trying to catch her lips again but she playfully avoided him, always letting him only to brush over the swelling skin of her mouth. After kissing his nose, though, she joined their lips back together, sighing deeply in pleasure.

_**The End of Chapter 7** _


	8. Chapter 8

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 8** _

* * *

_*** WHERE WE LEFT OFF ***_

_She managed to look into his eyes and that was the last drop for her. Cupping his head, she closed the remaining distance between them and started to suck on his lips with unbridled passion. He moaned into her mouth quite vocally and not at all in the protest. His hands immediately buried in her hair, caressing it because he couldn't get enough of her beautiful, smooth curls._

_He didn't know what possessed her but he couldn't care less since this kiss was everything he wanted. His hands slipped down on her back, embracing her and not giving her any chance to pull away. Not that she wanted to. On the contrary, she moved up closer to him, pressing her body to his as she played with his hair on the nape of his neck._

_She was purely focused on moving her lips against his in full, ardent moves, blocking away all the warnings in her head. Rather, she tried to silence them with her thinking influenced by her love for him. He was hers and hers only. At least for now, because he had a girlfriend. But he was hers first, wasn't he? Just because Zoe had been his 'no-strings-attached buddy' ages ago didn't mean that he belonged to her._

_Besides, he loved her and not Zoe. He had told her so. Once. Twice. More than she could count. He had proved his love so many times. By his words. By his actions. By risking his life. And definitely by his kisses and touches that were setting her skin on fire at this very moment. She was ready to give herself over to him unconditionally, because he bloody deserved it._

_They broke the kiss for a little moment to inhale, though the dizziness ruling in their heads had nothing to do with the lack of oxygen. He leaned in immediately, trying to catch her lips again but she playfully avoided him, always letting him only to brush over the swelling skin of her mouth. After kissing his nose, though, she joined their lips back together, sighing deeply in pleasure._

_*** AND NOW WE CONTINUE ***_

* * *

As the hands started to roam over their skins, gently touching and arousing delightful sensations, things were getting heated more and more by each passing second. The blissful heaven of showing their feelings, of not hiding them anymore, unleashed a whirlwind of pleasure which they both wanted to drown themselves in. Every single touch of a fingertip, every single sigh in pleasure, every single movement of their mouths was setting them on fire.

It left them only with a hungry want. Want for more. They had to compensate all those years of being apart in some way. Either because of their own decisions, or because they had been respecting certain rules. Their minds, their hearts and their bodies had longed for each other for years. What was happening right now was just natural outcome of throwing respect towards the others into the winds.

Ziva wanted to be closer to him than she was, wanting to feel his body below her, wanting to feel him skin on skin. She lifted her left leg on the bed and kneeled without breaking the kiss. Then she threw it over his lap and straddled his crotch. He moaned appreciatively, loving the way her weight pushed him down to the mattress. Luckily, he didn't have any problems with sitting straight, although she was sitting on him.

She half-sighed and half-moaned at the direct contact of their bodies, pressing her breasts against his chest to let him feel her erratic heartbeat. For some reason she wanted him to know what he was making her feel and how much she enjoyed it. Her mind was blanked, filled with only thoughts of him and her hunger for him. She wanted to swallow him with all the love she felt, washing away all the pain she had caused to him.

He was going insane for her, he knew it. The moment her lips had touched his, he knew he was lost forever. He didn't care about the past or the future. Just the thought that he was having her know, that she was becoming his, was enough for him. He carefully parted her lips with his tongue while kissing her incessantly, moaning louder when she didn't refuse him the entrance and let him in.

Their skilful tongues intertwined with each other and he had hard time not to lose it even more. Because that little minx embraced his head, locking it up in the place as she started to rock with her hips, solidly making his pants even tighter than they were. He had no intention to rush this, though. He wanted to take his time and he knew he should be able to make it.

And for that reason, he needed to make her stop to tease him this way, no matter how much pleasure it was giving them both. He firmly gripped her hips, ceasing her movements, earning a moan in protest from her with a punishment in a form of a bit on his lip. Another moan that came out of her mouth, though, was that one of pleasure as he made it up to her by touching her skin beneath the tank top she wore.

He dreamt for ages to touch her silky olive skin and when he finally had the chance, he couldn't get enough of it. Inch by inch his fingers inspected her waist, the small of her back, reveling in the shivers of her body he could feel due to his actions. She perfectly responded to his delicate inspection of her skin, urging him to carry on with her soft moans and the way she rubbed her tongue against his.

Oh and he didn't disappoint her. Slowly and with a great sense for detail, he rolled her tank top up, caressing her skin sensually in the process. She'd never felt so hot and chilling in the same time. Shivering with pleasure, she fell in love with his soft hands instantly. He just knew how to caress her so she would melt like a marshmallow in a s'more.

Regretfully, they were forced to break the kiss so he could pull the tank top over her head. Enchanted by her beauty, he threw the piece of clothing away, his eyes hungrily roaming over her breasts covered by the dark red lacy bra. His breathing quickened and his desire for her deepened more if it was even possible. He didn't care about anything else but her. He'd longer for her for so long. And right now, the goddess-like woman longed for being his.

" _I want in fact more of you. In my mind I am dressing you with light; I am wrapping you up in blankets of complete acceptance and then I give myself to you. I long for you; I who usually long without longing, as though I am unconscious and absorbed in neutrality and apathy, really, utterly long for every bit of you."_

Her core tightened when she saw him ogling her so openly. He wasn't hiding his lust for her anymore and her body liked the feeling like nothing else. _Who was she kidding?_ Not only her body, but her heart, her soul, just as every fiber of her being were dying for his touches, his looks, his caresses. There was no point in denying this fact. She wanted him more than anyone in her life.

No longer having his kiss, though, her guilty conscience broke through the lustful haze she had been enveloped in for the last few minutes. And she realized what she'd started, what she was making him commit. _Adultery._ She let her own feelings and wants to take over and not respect his relationship with another woman. No matter that their relationship wasn't working. Until he would break up with her, he still wasn't single.

However, before she could say anything, he apparently finished the inspection of her bosom with his eyes and decided to switch to inspection with his mouth. She moaned loudly when he buried his head into her cleavage, peppering delicate kisses on the sensitive skin of her breasts. With one hand on her back and the other one on her neck, he kept arching her chest to him in the right way he needed.

"We shouldn't be doing this." She managed to breathe out without moaning in pleasure. Nevertheless, she had to grip his shoulders to get some strength, only making it worse because she pressed his head into her cleavage even more.

He hungrily glued his lips to her neck, registering her words despite all the haze around him. He understood her reasoning but he had no intention to stop. Even if this would mean that he would be with her like that just for this one time. He _needed_ her. More than he needed air for breathing. Not caring about the past or the future, he just wanted to live the present and enjoy it fully.

"Yet, we do." He whispered into her ear, nipping her earlobe. He loved the way she dug her nails into his shoulders to keep herself from moaning in which she failed miserably.

She got carried away for a little while, rubbing her face against his hair as he paid attention to her neck. But when he pulled away to capture her lips, she couldn't help but to see the desire in his eyes and feel guilty for causing it. "You have a girlfriend, Tony." She protested as she turned away and prevented him from kissing her.

He paused in surprise in his actions, sighing wearily. _Couldn't she understand that he and Zoe were over?_ She knew everything to be sure that he loved only her. He wasn't sure about his feelings for Zoe and the problems they had were just too big to overcome them. Regardless of what would happen between him and Ziva right now, he was determined to break up with Zoe the moment he would return to D.C.

Sure, he was no cheater and it pleased him that she tried to respect it. But after he'd let everything out, after he'd poured out his heart, something deep inside him had disengaged from the shackles and escaped. It was the love for her that wanted to spread its wings and fly. He just knew that he would explode if he didn't show his love, if he didn't prove the depth and the strength of his love for her.

Simply, he resigned on any restraints that had been holding him back until now. She had become his everything for the time being. The only lips he wanted to kiss, the only skin he wanted to touch, the only scent he wanted to smell. There was no other meaning of life for him. Being with her, caressing her, arousing pleasure and bliss, was everything he wanted to do.

" _Better to have, and not need, than to need, and not have."_

"She's not you." He croaked through his constricted throat. He wanted to slap himself the moment he'd let the words out of his mouth. A promise he'd given to himself a long time ago, that he would never speak like that of a woman had been just broken. It was true, though. Zoe wasn't Ziva and she would never be.

"Everyone knows that I tried. I tried so hard to forget about you, to bury what I feel for you and never dig it up again. I tried to convince my heart that it's time to move on." He confessed, rubbing her arms up and down and looking straight into her astonished eyes.

"When it didn't work, I desperately tried to be pissed at you, angry with you and uncomprehending to your reasons of your leaving." He continued, more and more struggling against the lump in his throat.

"But the first moment I saw you again, I knew it was all a lie I just kept telling to myself. I love you and my heart wants only you." He said, his heart beating like crazy. He was so madly in love with her, it was unbelievable. "I wish I could do something about it, but I can't."

She stared at him in awe, trying to find any words to respond on this confession. He'd just told her he loved her without even a blink of an eye. And she couldn't deny that it flooded her with such warm that she could feel the sweat drops creating on her forehead. He'd spoken from the bottom of his heart, from the very core of his soul. Those other words had reached her ears, but it was the love confession that she'd registered the most. She hadn't heard it the first time, but something on the way he'd been saying those three words, had made it so unique and emotional.

"Tony..." She whispered, running her hand over his face, gently touching his eyes and his swollen lips. There was only one thing she wanted to tell him and the best time for it was now.

Thinking that she wanted to protest again, he took her by her arms, drawing her face closer to his. "Don't reject me. Not again. Please." He plaintively said in a whisper across her lips, his eyes shining with the unshed tears.

He truly didn't care if he was destined to be with her just this once. It was worth everything in world. Expressing all the love he felt for her was so utterly necessary. His whole life depended on it. The moment she would reject him, his broken heart wouldn't stand the pain anymore. He just needed at least one moment for letting his feelings to out.

She put her hands on his face, staring into his pleading eyes full of unimaginable love. She had no idea what she had done to deserve a man that loved her so deeply. But she was ready not to let him down. She couldn't imagine taking at least hundred steps back and pretending that this meeting was based purely on friendship. It would rip her heart out, as well.

"I love you, too." She confessed heatedly, her eyes never leaving his piercing green irises. To her own surprise, her voice was steady and firm like a rock.

The fear and anxiety that his body had been plagued by vanished in a second upon hearing those words. He'd never thought that he would ever hear the love confession coming from her beautiful mouth. He could never describe the joy that seized every nerve in his body. She hadn't become his everything. She _was_ his everything. A woman for whom he'd felt the deepest kind of love he was capable of.

She was trembling in his arms, both delighted and shocked by the confessions they had made. After years of denying those feelings, after years of being apart, it felt liberating to let it out. Neither of them could understand at this very moment what they had been afraid of earlier. Not that it mattered, anyway, because this line had been finally crossed. Now, they just wanted to enjoy the feeling of mutual love.

He leaned his head in and she met him halfway. Once their lips joined, everything slowed down. The world around stopped existing. There was no past. No demons, no denials, no rejections, no ex-lovers. There was no future. _Who would care about it at this moment, after all?_ Part of the present was also gone. No relationships, no problems, no uncertain intensions. All that remained were those two, passionately expressing their feelings.

For long seconds they just drank the lips of each other, savoring the feeling and tasting to get familiar with the flavor. He was embracing her, pressing her to him so she wouldn't get any chance to get away. Not that she wanted to. She was comfortable with these slow, thorough kisses more than with anything. She held on to him, not having any intention to let go of him ever again.

Her hands reached on his back, tenderly and sensually massaging his muscles in natural need to touch him. He relaxed under her ministrations, his skin burning at those places where she touched him. She was sating her hunger for him by the movements of her hands, caressing him meticulously as she wanted to cover his body completely and mark him with her scent and touches.

Her skilful fingers soon reached the small of his back and gripped the hem of his shirt with only one intent in her mind. She'd been pressed to his body many times before, even sensing his muscular body embracing her in natural need to soothe her. But to feel him skin on skin, to experience the fiery feeling of the first real touch, was what she'd hungered for years.

With one swift move, she pulled the shirt over his head, breaking up the kiss for a mere second. He barely registered it. Only when her hands started to roam over his back more ravenously than before, he realized the state of his nakedness. It made him so happy that she desired to be with him as much as he wanted to be with her. Because all the time they had been apart needed to be paid off in this very moment.

It was no surprise for him that his fingers were shaking when he, quite clumsily, started to fight with the clasp of her bra. In other times, he would masterfully open it without any problems. But this time it was just different. He was utterly in love with the woman in front of him and her body meant everything for him. He wanted to treat her with respect and all the love he felt.

She smiled into his mouth, sensing his struggle with her bra. So she reached behind her back and helped his trembling hands to finish the work. He reveled in taking the strands down her shoulders, causing shivers of her body. She even gasped a few times, breaking the kiss out of necessity to properly breathe. She'd never thought that taking her bra off could be so sensual. But something about him made to feel it that way.

When this upper part of woman's lingerie was out of the way, discarded with other clothes, they both couldn't help but groan at the direct contact of their chests. Goosebumps appeared on their skins, despite the heat waves that were flooding them one after the other. The attraction that drew them together was getting unbearable and it was maddeningly slowly getting released in the littlest doses.

With a gentle push of her hands, he complied with her hint and lay down on his back. His body buried into the mattress as she hold him close, sprawling across his chest. Their lips stayed joined for the time being, despite the growing ache of their mouths. There was no force that would pull them apart unless they really wanted to. The taste was too delicious to give it up for some little pain.

Her hands left his neck she'd kept locked up in a place, rubbing her hands across his sides and back up. She had in mind to explore every inch of his body, to entice every kind of reaction he was able to show. And he took her up on her offer, groaning in pleasure, squirming and chuckling at her attempts to tickle him while he was taking care of the sinfully thorough kiss, never giving her any chance to think properly.

Sighing in delight, he let go of her lips so she could engage them in other activities she seemed to enjoy. Her feathery kisses on his neck, the lick of her tongue on his pulsing jugular vein, her hair tickling him in his face were so arousing that he had to do everything that was in his willpower not to just take what he so painfully wanted. He was still well aware of his desire to take things slow and savor every second.

She traced her swollen lips across his muscular chest, repeating the trail with her hands. He only managed to grip her hips and softly rake her hair to repay all the pleasure she was bringing. He loved the way she swirled her tongue across his nipples, teasing his abdomen with her nose and kisses. He'd never thought that he would admit that butterflies started to toss in his stomach, but he didn't have any other way to describe what he was feeling.

Reaching the rim of his pants, she looked up at him with a naughty and greedy gleam in her eyes, biting her bottom lip playfully. He was like a Christmas present to her that was luring her to unwrap it and claim the prize inside. On the other hand, she had to admit that she adored the slow tempo they had set. The exploring, the fact that there were in no hurry and she could eat him up, piece by piece... It was making her all hot inside, more than she'd ever been.

Before she could start anything from her intentions, though, he was faster than her, sitting up straight as much as he could. He didn't have a hard work to embrace her since his hands still gripped her hips. And before she knew it, she lay flat on her back with him on top of her. And God, she loved the feeling more than anything. To stress her joy over it, she embraced his waist with her legs to get their bodies into more direct contact.

He couldn't tear his eyes off the beauty in front of him as her hair spread like a mane around her head. Her smitten look, her impatient sighs and her erratic heartbeat he could feel were making him to say something to appreciate it all, to tell her how delighted he was that he was the one causing this. However, his mind was completely blank. He couldn't find any words to express his thoughts. As if any language in the world didn't have such words in its vocabulary.

He kept opening and closing his mouth in attempt to say _anything,_ but no words came out. She understood his desire to say what he felt, because she'd love to do exactly the same. That's why she knew that there were no words needed. "Sh, just kiss me." She whispered, putting her finger on his mouth to shush him.

He sent her a smile that would be able to enchant everyone in the world. Softly, he kissed the pointed forefinger. Then, he bent down and fused their mouths together once again for another thorough, endless kiss. His hands rubbed the skin of her arms as he pushed her head further down to the mattress, deepening the kiss. She moaned, running her fingers through his hair lovingly.

With a deep sigh in pleasure, he shifted his mouth on her neck, reveling in the vibrating sounds coming out of her throat. His nose started to graze the way down her chest, making circles on her breasts as he gently bit her nipples, making her to arch her back. Her nails dug into the sheet below her in the next second, as he teased her bellybutton, his hand purposely pressing her core through her sweatpants.

He could feel how horny he had made her so far, considering the heat coming from her still fully covered crotch. He intended to even deepen her desire for him as he gently rubbed her core. And she didn't know whether to imprison his hand between her thighs, or to play along and help him to reach the blissful heaven. Her new-found fanciness in taking things slow, however, made her to clasp her thighs together and stop his ministrations.

He didn't mind it and smiled at her, pulling his hand out. He hooked his fingers on to her sweatpants, taking them off inch by inch while his mouth flooded her thighs with kisses. She only breathed heavily, moaning and watching him as he slowly stood up from the bed, pulling the sweatpants down her calves and across her ankles. Then he straightened up and gazed at her with self-satisfied smirk, admiring the gorgeous woman lying on the bed.

It took her a long second to realize that she was completely naked, only in her laced panties. She didn't feel any embarrassment. She'd always been self-confident about her body, despite all the scars. But the way he was looking at her was so intense that she'd had a lot of problems not to burst in flames. She could feel his eyes openly roaming her body as if they were his hands.

She shyly crossed her legs so she wouldn't feel so naked, but it didn't help at all. In an instant, he was back on the bed, sensually caressing her legs with his hands as he hungrily started to kiss her stomach. She twisted her body in laughter because his kisses tickled her and he was very well aware of that. Reaching into her lap, he slightly tickled her tans, forcing her to lie on her side, away from him.

His kisses flooded the area of the small of her back as his hands fondled her beautifully curved ass. Her breathing alternated between sighs and moans in pleasure, loving the electrifying feeling of his lips on her sensitive skin. She wanted to reach behind her and draw his body closer, to achieve the direct contact from behind, but her arms felt so weak. Instead, she dug her nails more into the mattress to stand the bliss and not to explode.

But it was too late for that, since he managed to peel off her panties from her while smooching her from behind, smelling the scent of her hair, nipping her earlobe and teasing her jugular vein with his tongue. She had so much work to deal with the pleasure on the upper side of her body, including his masterful kneading of her breasts, that she hadn't registered that his second hand worked on the last piece of garment that covered her.

Once she did notice it, though, she only uncrossed her legs so he could throw her panties away completely. It was the last detail of her capitulation, because there was no step back from her naked self. She wanted to be his as much as he desired to make her his and the other way around. Her body trembled with anticipation and she closed her eyes to stress her excitement.

It was like an eternity, but once his hands started to trace the delightful way up her body, she moaned in pleasure, her nails burying into the mattress deeper. His mouth kept trailing kisses all over her body, kissing every inch he could. He was sending electrifying impulses to every single nerve, setting her skin on fire and making her sweat despite the snowfall behind the windows and the fact she was naked.

She knew what was about to come, knowing that she couldn't last as long as she wanted for him, but she was hell-bent to at least try. Her hands hopelessly reached out for the pillow to get something to hold on to but it was all too late. His skilful fingers already caressed sensually her lap, having only one target in plan. And she had no doubt about his satisfaction with the moist he was supposed to get welcomed with.

He didn't even need to carefully part her folds, his finger buried into her wet pussy smoothly. Her hands, instead of a pillow that was too far away from her, dug into the mattress as she yelped in pleasure. She heard him laugh softly, whispering something into her ear excitedly about the state of her horniness. She could care less, only to lift weakly her head as he propped it up against his free arm against her neck.

He trailed kisses across her cheek and nape, clouding her thinking entirely. She tried so much _not to feel_ the finger inside her all too aroused core, but it was useless. Her body was giving in to it easily and with pleasure. She found by touch the pillow and drew it to herself in the moment he pulled his finger out a bit, only to bury it inside even deeper than before.

Her groan resonated in his ears as he watched her flushed face twisted in blissful grimace. Luckily for him, she didn't clasp her thighs together so his hand still had enough free space. And he was about to make full use of it, of course. He watched as she embraced the pillow, desperately clinging onto it for purposes he quite didn't understand. But he didn't care anyway, considering that all he wanted was to bring her all the pleasure he could.

Another movement of his finger was rewarded with a scream. Scream that was muffled by the pillow she held as she bit the cloth. She knew she was close and it was so utterly ridiculous. He hadn't done _that much_ to disarm all her defenses completely. Yet, she felt she couldn't last long without shattering into pieces for him. And damn, she wanted it like nothing else.

With a steady rhythm of pushing in and out and a light touch on her clitoris he had managed to find, his feathery kisses on her sensitive skin and all those erotically charged words he kept whispering into her ear, she was soon on the verge of explosion. She hated him and loved him in the same time for making her feel so weak but blissful. He just knew very well how to handle her body despite touching it this way for the first time in his life.

He enjoyed himself equally, loving that he could make her feel this way. He loved her ragged breathing, the way she couldn't lay still and moved her hips into the rhythm he set, meeting with his finger inside her. He didn't even mind that with every move of her hips, she hit his crotch with her backside which made his pants tighten more and more. Devouring her body and pleasing it were far more interesting.

Her moans were getting louder and more frequent as she fought bravely the unavoidable climax. He repeatedly buried the finger inside her as deep as he could, hitting her sweet spot as he felt her clenching her inner muscles to keep resisting. He shook his head with a chuckle, nuzzling her neck but admiring her resilience. He knew that she tried to last for him and it made him feel special.

But she couldn't do so forever, so he nipped her earlobe gently, hovering his mouth over her ear. "Let it go." He whispered, adding pressure on her clit with his thumb.

This simple plea was the last drop for her and she relaxed her body, complying with his wish. She couldn't hold out much longer, anyway. Within a few seconds, the orgasm hit her in a sweet wave of pleasure and she embraced the pillow tightly, her teeth sinking into the cotton fabric of the pillow, muffling her blissful scream. It's been a long time since any man could make her feel like that.

He pulled his finger out, caressing soothingly her trembling body. He was enchanted by her moving chest as she breathed heavily, her breasts rising up and falling down. It was magical moment, seeing her so satisfied and happy with an expression of blissful peace on her face. He wouldn't trade that moment for anything else in the world. It was priceless.

It took her a while to pull herself together and become aware of her surroundings again. Nevertheless, she still felt dizzy as if she floated in the sky. Her arms unclenched the pillow and he grabbed it, putting it under her head for more comfort, withdrawing his arm from under her neck in the process. She sighed gratefully, feeling extraordinary for his attentive and almost gentleman-like behavior.

Turning slightly to lay on her back again, she looked up at him with wide open eyes. He smiled at her, touching her nose slightly and grazing his finger down on her belly, where he opened his hand and started making little circles with his palm. She tried to raise her hand and caress his face, gulping in attempt to say something but it was to no avail. Only staring at him with a smitten look was all she managed to do.

"You were amazing." He said in all seriousness, watching as her face changed at least ten shades of red.

She smiled at him embarrassedly, not being used to compliments like that from him. It was different when he had commented on her body without actually seeing it. Now, he'd explored almost every curve. He'd gotten to know her completely, hearing her moans, feeling the trembles of her body and all for him. And it was making her feel good like nothing else. He was looking at her as if she was an angel.

He bent his head down and touched her half-opened lips with his own carefully. Being thorough once again, he touched at first the upper one, drinking on it with a gentle bite in the end. Then he did the same with her bottom lip. His body shifted back on top of her as their lips joined in a passionate kiss. In a second, her arms found the lost strength and embraced his head.

He winded her hair around his fingers and touched her ear gently, her earring, her nape. In no time, she was comfortably nestled against him and her experienced fingers rubbed their way down on his pants. She managed to get a hand between them, reaching for the zipper and pulling it down. He smiled into the kiss and stopped pressing her down on the mattress, expecting her to take charge of things and roll them over.

To his great surprise, she didn't. On the contrary, she whimpered in protest, wrapping her legs around him in desperate need to feel his body directly on top of her. He broke the kiss and looked at her in confusion. Her eyes revealed everything, though. The endless need to touch him and be touched, having him close, feel the weight of his body and not to let go of him were reflecting in the yearning gleam of her eyes.

He sighed and she sent him an apologetic look but she couldn't help herself. Her body desired him in so many ways and she couldn't decide which of them she should start with first. So far, she'd been content with their position and had zero intention to change it. She knew that stripping him off his pants would give her what she wanted the most but for some reason, she refused to give up of his control over her.

She hooked her fingers into his pants, trying to pull them down a bit and he smiled at her undisguised want. He lifted his hips up a bit, watching her face as she eagerly gave a pull to the fabric. Her hands weren't long enough, though, to do all the work. But he already had in mind how to comply with her wish of being pressed to him and get himself naked, as well, in the process.

He kissed her thoroughly as she cupped his half-naked ass, considering that she didn't pull down _just_ his pants, but also his boxers. Not that he minded it, quite the contrary. Carefully, he stuck his hands below her back, hoping that he had enough strength to carry out his plan. Putting his left knee between her thighs, he also found the great anchor for his next step.

In one swift move, he kneeled on the bed, lifting her body with his, never breaking the kiss. She yelped in surprise into his mouth, immediately embracing his back to find the support she needed. He kept her upright by clasping his knees together, imprisoning her thigh between them as he spread his palms on her shoulder blades. He released her lips for a mere second to inhale after the effort, but immediately crashed them back on hers.

They worked in unison as if they both knew what they should do to reach the mutually desired result. She slipped her hands down, back on his pants and pulled them together with his boxers down as much as she could. He gasped as his naturally erected manhood gained freedom and touched her naked skin. He couldn't believe that they were really naked in front of each other after all those years.

Sitting up on his knees, being forced to bend down to keep kissing her because she was refusing to let go of his lips, he pulled the pants and his boxers over his knees. She helped him to keep the balance by firmly grasping his waist, groaning in pleasure every time he moved because his erection between their bodies rubbed sensually against her skin. And it all made her hotter than she already was.

After some struggle, his pants and his boxers finally ended up on the floor as he held on to her to keep his balance. After he'd gained it, he took charge of things again, deepening the kiss all of sudden, making her moan loudly. Her body weakened under the amorous assault of his ever-so-sweet kiss and her back gave away. Falling down on the mattress with an audible _thud_ , they returned back to their previous position.

It caused a bubbly laugh to escape her mouth and he released her lips to give her the space to have fun. When their eyes locked, though, everything turned serious. They were both aware of their naked bodies and the thing that was happening between them. The foreplay was amazing and all, but now they were about to do things that couldn't be taken back at all. They both took it very seriously.

He hesitated, she could digest that very clearly. Whether it was caused by his sudden insecurity over her feelings, or his sense of fidelity, she didn't know. And neither did she care. All she knew that despite everything, she wanted to do this. She was dying with desire to make love to him. This hadn't been about sex in the first place. It was about communion of two souls in love.

She raised her hand and softly touched his face with the tip of her fingers. He closed his eyes and purred as she gently stroked his cheek in a soothing gesture. "I love you, Tony." She told him, watching as his eyes filled with enamored adoration when he opened them. She just felt that it was the right place to say such a thing. And she wanted to prove it as much with her actions.

"And I'm sorry for e-" She started to apologize for breaking his heart many times before and refusing to get involved with him in any closer way. She was cut off by his kiss, though, as he silenced her effectively with it.

Pulling back, he removed the strands of her hair from her face. "I know. I don't need to hear it." He anticipated her need to apologize. However, it wasn't necessary. He loved her so much that he was able to forgive her anything. Especially, when he now knew that she felt the same way about him.

"I just wish there were any words to describe what I feel." He said regretfully, playing with her hair as he winded it around his fingers. "Because I think that 'I love you, too' isn't just enough."

She smiled at him understandingly, perfectly knowing what he meant. She fell in love with confessing her feelings for him, but the words seemed to be hollow. She'd love to use many other colorful words but none of them seem to meet with her requirements. It was a strange feeling, knowing about the great love deep inside her and not having any way to express it verbally.

She took his hand that played with her hair, intertwined their fingers as he breathlessly watched her doing so. Every touch seemed so electrifying at the moment, sending surges across their bodies. They held their hands for a while, locking their eyes to savor the moment of ultimate intimacy. Then, she put their joined hands next to her head as a sign of her surrender. She wanted him to have this kind of control over her and make love to her until their sweaty bodies dropped from exhaustion.

"Then show me." She demanded, cupping his face with her free hand, touching with the tips of her fingers his soft shaven cheek. "Love me. Love me like never before."

And he did so with pleasure. Descending his lips on hers in a slow, sweet kiss, while his free hand run the way up and down her side, he determinedly started to show how deeply he was in love with her. She moaned and returned the kiss passionately, her free hand reaching into his hair and massaging the nape of his neck. Caught up in each other, everything turned into blur as they solely focused on satisfying their desirous bodies.

He used their joined hands as leverage and moved his body to get into more appropriate position in between her legs. She took him up on his offer, opening her legs and wrapping them around his hips, only waiting for him to do the final step. He reached for her second hand, intertwined their fingers and put them around her head just as the first one, getting more support he needed.

Without any more hesitation he entered her, his pulsing erection burying inside the moist heat of her pussy. He had to break the kiss to gasp, his head already spinning at the amazing feeling that shot through him. It was out-of-this-world and not at all the way he'd imagined it many times before. Because _damn_ , he would be lying if he didn't admit that he'd dreamt about this. It totally surpassed all his expectations.

She gasped with him. As the breath hitched inside her throat, she gave out another gasp shortly after the first one, right into his ear. She felt him shiver while her body was washed over with a heat wave as it tried to absorb the pleasure on maximum. Her mouth went dry and her swollen lips trembled in delight over being surrounded by his body, filling her with one of the most powerful emotions she'd ever experienced.

He pulled his head back a little bit to look at her. Her eyes were darkened with want and unbridled passion mixed with such amount of love that it was giving him shivers. She could read the same in his own irises, after all. It didn't matter whether this was happening for just this one time. It was a memory he would hold onto for the rest of his life. None of the women he'd ever been in love with had radiated with love as the woman under him.

Slowly, he thrust into her and she gasped again, her eyes rolling into the back of her head with pleasure. Her legs clenched around his hips. As the wave of bliss raged through her, she rubbed her right leg alongside his, until she lay it down on the mattress. He immediately made use of it, releasing her hand and gripping her thigh, bending her leg in the process.

Overwhelmed by a sudden need to feel his lips, she used her free hand, too, and pulled his head down for a fervent kiss. He returned the kiss gratefully, having problems himself not to groan loudly in pleasure as he moved once again. The way his fingers squeezed the flesh of her thigh and her hand, though, testified enough about the state of bliss he was in.

They set up a rhythm they both felt comfortable with, continuing in taking things slow. The need to explore, observe, learn what the other one liked was just too great. It overpowered the need for the release, the raw lust and years of desire and dreams. They were making love in the every sense of those of words. They weren't afraid to show the passion, nor the pleasure that was caused by their sexual connection.

Releasing her second hand as well, the need to touch her conquered his mind. He caressed her silky thigh while his second hand couldn't decide what to touch first. Her smooth hair, her swan neck, her beautifully shaped breast that fit just right into his palm, her ticklish side or her perfectly rounded ass. Every part of her body had always reacted to his thrust, sending them both into a hurricane of bliss.

With both her hands free, she made use of it, too. Palming his face to take charge of the kiss and start a little tongue game were one of the first things. Here and there, she broke it to inhale, considering that she ran out of oxygen quite often. The miracle way he treated her body was sometimes too much to handle. But she always repaid it to him by raking his hair, massaging his back and digging her nails into his skin in pleasure.

She officially fell in love with his mouth and everything about it. His soft lips, the flavor that was so unique for him, and his rough but ever-so-gentle tongue that could satisfy her in more than one way. It was making her crazy just thinking about it. Crazy for him. She was getting more than she'd asked for and she loved every single second of it. Contrary to her usual habits, she wasn't even mad at him for the slow tempo, wanting to last this lovemaking as long as possible.

He suddenly smiled evilly into her mouth because during his exploring, he'd apparently found one of her erogenous zones she'd been masterfully hiding from him. The back of her knee or knee pit, as it could also be known, when touched the right way was extremely sensitive. He could digest that from her moans that had nothing to do with his thrusts, nor his other touches.

By finding and new playground, he started to focus on different kinds of pressure of his fingers in the knee pit. She reacted by biting his lip, his tongue and even by breaking the kiss to moan loudly, especially when he added another thrust and another touch of something sensitive. Simply, her body was like a treasure map and despite the fact he'd already found the 'X-spot' where the treasure was buried, he loved to wander off to unknown corners and bring more pleasure.

After one especially slow and deep thrust, she couldn't lie still anymore and meet with his movements. Until then, she moved her body only occasionally, letting him to build the climax on his own which he seemed to enjoy. And he knew very well why, because the moment he could feel her pelvis grinding against his, the moment she did the ever-so-innocent wriggle, he was lost.

Completely lost in her. The effect it had on him was overwhelming, making him to let out something that could be described as 'squeak'. If there had been anything rational left in his mind, it had totally disappeared and probably forever. The pleasure took over his mind, his heart, his body and his soul. And he loved her even more for causing it by nothing else but a simple movement of her hips.

He whispered her name hazily, making her shiver at the way he uttered it. He'd always had a special way to say her name and this was no exception. Once again tonight (or was it tomorrow already? She'd lost tracks of the time of their love-making), the way his voice caressed every syllable of her name was making her feel more than special. The meaning behind it was colossal. She guessed he'd just found out how to verbally express his love for her.

She palmed his face, looking at him desirously. He whispered other words of love across her lips breathlessly, thrusting inside her again to which she answered with a movement of her hips to meet with him. He groaned and contorted his face in an expression that testified about his delightful experience. She smiled, so proud of herself that she could make him feel this way. It made her feel so freaking good.

They moved simultaneously once more, delivering another wave of pleasure between them. She bent her down back to contain herself, exposing her neck. He took advantage of it as he started to suck on the gentle spot between her neck and her ear, making her moan even more loudly. She was finally realizing how close to her satisfaction she was, not sure if she was supposed to feel grateful or not. She wanted this to never end but knew it was physically impossible.

Her back unglued from the mattress with another thrust and he shifted his mouth on her chest, paying close attention to her breasts. She couldn't hold herself back anymore and moaned his name in a way she'd never thought she would. But _God_ , his rough tongue swirling around her nipple and his swollen lips kissing and grazing the sensitive skin of her bosom felt heavenly.

He accidentally bit her on the upper part of her breast as he heard his name being uttered in such a way. The heavy, thickened tone of her voice was so familiar to him, yet he wasn't used to hear it in connection with his name. It was like an aphrodisiac, giving him more and more energy to spend on this incredible and slow lovemaking. He wanted to bring her the satisfaction she deserved.

And he vowed to do so as soon as possible because hearing her moans, gasps and feeling her nails digging into his skin were starting to be too much even for him. He refused to speed up the tempo, though, still savoring and preferring the slow way that was giving him many chances to observe her bedroom behavior. Instead, he put a little more strength into his thrusts which turned out to be the right thing to do.

The orgasm hit her hard and with greater intensity than when he had fingered her a few moments ago. Wave of dizziness washed over her, sending the surges of pleasure into every fiber of her being. She gave out a moan in all the tones of her voice range and in phases as she struggled for breathing. The blissful feeling managed to crumble every single wall she'd ever built around her.

She grasped his hair between her fingers as he sucked on the skin above her heart, feeling with his lips and tongue as it tried to jump out of her chest. She could see stars as she float through the dark sky of delight, trying to get herself under control but she wasn't very successful. He had robbed her of everything, making her his in the most amazing way she'd ever experienced.

He managed to lift his head up and see the last remnants of ultimate bliss in her face. She had supernatural expression containing all the pleasure, love, satisfaction, gratefulness and amazement. He was sure he would never forget the smitten look on her face when she opened her misty eyes, looking all sultry. She was the most beautiful creature he'd ever laid his eyes on.

She pulled his head down for a mighty kiss that would be able to suck out the life from everything. Hungrily, she tasted his mouth, immediately intertwining their tongues in a lustful game. He realized some while ago that she'd become addicted to his kiss and he totally didn't mind it. Kissing her was so natural and it felt so good that he ignored that his mouth hurt, and his lips had probably lost all the blood in them.

Moving her hips, she urged him to carry on and he did so, still keeping up with the slow tempo. She didn't expect him to do otherwise, enjoying this just as he did. She was completely content the way she was, still hazy from her orgasm and glued firmly to his lips. Never would she exchange this moment for anything else. He was her everything, her love, her soul mate.

She would love to help him more to reach the climax of his own, presumably rolling them over to be on top. But she couldn't find the strength, nor did she want to give up of the weight of his body on hers. She loved to be pressed down by him and he wasn't far away behind her, anyway. So, she just gently massaged his scalp and kissed him with everything she felt for him.

A few deep, slow but powerful thrusts helped him to reach the heaven, supported the way she rocked her hips sensually. With a supposedly gentle bit on her lip, he broke the kiss and gasped as the way of bliss washed over him. He lost all control he'd ever had, his body giving away as he was completely drained. He didn't see, didn't think, couldn't move or to even form a word inside his head.

He bit her neck to muffle his scream, absolutely giving her a hickey. Not that she minded it, she patiently and with love held him in her arms, enjoying his orgasm with him. His body was trembling and his muscles stiffened. She tried to make him relax with a soft massage, caressing his hair and his back. And he was giving to it, moaning slightly against her skin.

He felt so muzzy but he wasn't drunk. At least not from alcohol. He was drunk with love for her and the satisfaction they had just reached together. This moment would stay on his mind forever and nothing could ever erase it. That moment of ultimate consonance between two souls who were head over heels with each other. This was the thing he was searching for – the true love.

As the main wave of his climax faded away, leaving only delightful and besotted feeling of absolute bliss, he managed to lift his head up and look at her. They were both breathing heavily, fanning faces of one another with their hot breaths. The energy they had just spent on the lovemaking would light a city. That much they had put in it as if their lives depended on this single moment of bare intimacy.

After reading all those unspoken confessions from their eyes, their lips joined in a sweet kiss that left them even more breathless and made their swollen lips even more tumescent. The need to taste, bite and fight for supremacy with their tongues still prevailed. It as just another way how to prove the profound love they both felt for each other.

The lovemaking they had just experienced meant everything for them. It had showed the depth of their feelings. It had liberated them from years of denying. It had given them something to cherish in their memories. Neither of them would ever forget about this, no matter what kind of future was ahead of them. With or without one another. Living close or being thousands of miles away. True love couldn't be forgotten.

And maybe they valued it so much because of the way they had made love to each other. Not only was it passionate and gentle. Most of all, it was slow. Like snail-slow. Maddeningly slow. They didn't know how was it possible that they were able to stand it, considering for how long they had desired each other. But it was meant to be. It was their fate, it was written in the stars. There are no such things as coincidences, after all.

_**The End of Chapter 8** _


	9. Chapter 9

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 9**_

* * *

_*** WHERE WE LEFT OFF ***_

_The lovemaking they had just experienced meant everything for them. It had showed the depth of their feelings. It had liberated them from years of denying. It had given them something to cherish in their memories. Neither of them would ever forget about this, no matter what kind of future was ahead of them. With or without one another. Living close or being thousands of miles away. True love couldn't be forgotten._

_And maybe they valued it so much because of the way they had made love to each other. Not only was it passionate and gentle. Most of all, it was slow. Like snail-slow. Maddeningly slow. They didn't know how was it possible that they were able to stand it, considering for how long they had desired each other. But it was meant to be. It was their fate, it was written in the stars. There are no such things as coincidences, after all._

_*** AND NOW WE CONTINUE ***_

* * *

Never getting tired of the kissing, Tony gently rolled them over on their sides to stop burdening her with the weight of his body. She put her arms around his neck, though, still keeping him close as she was addicted both to his kiss and his body. He smiled into the lip-lock, scrambling around with his hand behind his back to find the sheets and threw them over their bodies.

Not that he didn't want to admire her divine body anymore. But despite all the sweat, despite all the heat their bodies emitted, it was still quite cold. The snowfall behind the windows just didn't want to stop. And considering that Christmas was just around the corner, the weather certainly wasn't warm. After all, she accepted the sheets gratefully, snuggling into them while she kept drinking from his lips.

He broke the kiss and sighed happily to look into her radiant face and sort out his thoughts. His intoxicated brain had started to clear out and his mind was flooded with thousands of incentives and thoughts. He just needed a moment or two. So, he had to deal with feelings from horror to fear, only to be left with the amazement and happiness as it prevailed over anything else.

After all those years, after all the time of being apart, he'd finally made love to the woman he loved the most in his life. It was such an indescribable feeling as the mixture of astonishment, joy, but also fear of future and uncertainty seized his heart. He didn't want to think about the bad things at the moment, though. He wanted to enjoy the tranquility and beauty of this moment.

" _I can't think of any greater happiness than to be with you all the time, without interruption, endlessly, even though I feel that here in this world there's no undisturbed place for our love, neither in the village nor anywhere else; and I dream of a grave, deep and narrow, where we could clasp each other in our arms as with clamps, and I would hide my face in you and you would hide your face in me, and nobody would ever see us anymore."_

This Christmas trip had brought him something he had secretly hoped for, but actually hadn't believed in. The inner peace. He hadn't lost it recently, and question was whether he'd ever had one. Because the feeling of contentment he'd just been experiencing was something totally new for him. And he couldn't be any happier that it had been the woman in front of him who had caused it.

Honestly, he didn't care whether they would spend the rest of their lives together or apart. He didn't even try to guess what the outcome of this incredible lovemaking would be. He just knew that he wouldn't ever regret it. Because to admit those feelings and act on them, not hiding them anymore, had been one of the most liberating things he'd ever done. And judging by the smitten look on her face, she agreed with him.

Ziva breathed heavily as she tried to get her erratic heartbeat under control. What she had just experienced was out of this world. Her body hurt but was so relaxed at the same time. Her muscles were aching as the result of the passionate and painfully slow lovemaking. Yet, she was grateful for it, because the man she loved had treated her like the most precious thing in the world.

She was in awe, to be honest. She had never expected him to be so gentle and attentive. And she had never expected herself not to be driven by the lust. What had happened between them was something she had never experienced before. Her natural wild and fierce character had always taken over during any sexual activity. This time it had stayed subdued, letting her lover to direct the whole act.

She couldn't comprehend why it had happened, but one reason suggested itself almost immediately – she was in love like she'd never been in her life. Suddenly, she couldn't imagine being without Tony even for a single second. She needed to feel his body close to her, hear his voice and feel his love. She couldn't imagine any different kind of future than being with him.

Flashes of future scenes from their lives started to project in her head. Their living together, sleeping together, cooking together and doing just common things together. Intimate dinners, proposal, wedding and having a family. Simply, everything she'd desired for a long time, but couldn't find it at any cost. She realized that if there was some man who was supposed to represent her happy ending, it was Tony.

The said man leaned in and captured her lips in another kiss, caressing soothingly her arm. She tentatively returned the touch of his lips, lost in her own thoughts. She was shocked by her realization, and even more when she didn't feel any fear. Yet, she wasn't sure whether she was ready for this big step. After all, it meant another big life change, and she'd been having those far too often for her liking.

She just couldn't storm back into his life like that and expect that everything would be perfect. It had never been. Even if he broke up with his girlfriend, there was still his surrogate family to take into account. After all, it used to be her surrogate family, as well. On the other hand, she would be with a man she loved deeply and who loved her just as much.

Tony stopped kissing her, once he'd registered that her mind was wandering in some universe that certainly wasn't here. He took her by her chin and look directly into her pensive eyes. "Ziv?" He asked softly.

It took her a while to get back to the Earth and focus her eyes on him. He knew the expression on her face, the one full of uncertainty and doubt. _Well, it seemed that the love bubble didn't last long..._ "Don't tell me you regret it." He pleaded, his voice full of hurt. He wished not to feel this way but he couldn't stop it from entering his heart.

Her eyes turned warmer in an instant as she put her hand on his face, stroking his cheek with her thumb lovingly. "Never." She vowed quietly. She understood what he was afraid of, but she truly had no intention to say that what had happened was a regrettable mistake.

"I just don't know what to do." She said and turned her head away from him shyly. She didn't want him to see the shadow of doubt on her face. She hated to disappoint him and crush all his hopes. She'd been doing that far too often.

He sighed wearily, though he expected that sooner or later this kind of talk was inevitable. He wanted to enjoy this peaceful moment, but she had apparently other things on her mind. Adaptation was the only option, then. He had a few things to say, as well. "Look..." he began warily, "and don't take it the wrong way, now. Because I love you and I would never... take advantage of you like that."

She looked at him expectantly, sensing that he was about to say something that might look bad, but it actually wasn't. Their never-ending series of misunderstandings had never led them anywhere, so she let him to say whatever he wanted. This was about them and both had the right to express what was on their minds. She needed to respect his opinion, just as he had respected hers many times before.

"I'm not making you to come back to DC with me if you don't want to." He said firmly, watching as her eyes widened as a consequence of whatever emotion that had just been raging through her.

Since he didn't want her to think that he had just made love to her to use it later as an excuse for his break-up with Zoe, or that she was obliged to be with him now, he continued to explain. "I understand the reasons why you left and your desire to get rid of your past. And I still respect it." He said as he watched her to sit down, wrap her body into the sheets and turn around to face him.

"So, if you feel that your journey isn't over yet, if you're not ready... Then I'm okay with it. I'm not gonna persuade you to return." He had to bit his lip to prevent himself from reaching out to her, because she was damn gorgeous with the after-sex look on her face. Rather, he propped his head up against his elbow to have a better view on her and keep his hand occupied.

She stared at him with an unbelieving expression on her face, asking whatever entity somewhere in the outer space what she had done to deserve such an attentive and understanding man. Already those two years ago he'd shown such an exceptional comprehension of her needs, not considering her selfish at all. Their parting hadn't been easy, quite the contrary. But she lived in better peace thanks to his acceptance of her decisions.

She couldn't help but to admire how much he'd grown up as a man. In spite of the love atmosphere and his typical childishness, he behaved like a mature man with sober and serious stance to the whole thing. Maybe he had hopes as a perpetual dreamer. But most of all, he was realistic and understood that he couldn't have everything he'd ever desired. On the one hand, it was sad. On the other, it was the reality of common life.

Only if he knew that all she wanted was to stay in his arms forever. The more she was looking at him, the more she knew that to be without him was impossible for her. She loved the new life she had built, but it felt empty if she imagined it without him. The love for him even grew when she'd heard that he was respectful to her wishes and decisions. But secretly, she wished for him to beg her to come back with him.

"Though I wish you would, but I just don't..." He didn't finish as she reached out and pressed his lips into a pout to make him stop talking.

"I know." She cut him off, knowing very well what he wanted to say. "But that's the problem." She wanted to tell him that she would love to start a relationship with him, but it was impossible as long as all the obstacles would stand in their way. Love wasn't enough and it hadn't been enough those two years ago already. They were back at the square one. This time, though, she just couldn't imagine letting him walk away so easily, although she knew she had to.

However, she felt the need to explain what was happening inside her, so he would comprehend why she fought this inner battle. And after she released his lips while he lifted his eyebrow on her curiously, she knew that she had no other choice, anyway. "I went through something similar as you did, Tony." She started, raking her hair in attempt to tame her tousled hair that had gotten messy during their love-making.

"I did practically everything to get you out of my head." She confessed. She had gone through stages of remorse and self-pity, anger and sorrow to deal with her own departure. "And although I thought I was successful, there was still something... someone... _you_ were missing."

"Now, after all of this, I can't imagine going back to Israel and not having you by my side." She took a deep breath to calm her voice down as it quivered with emotions. "I want to return with you to DC. To _you_. To be with you and start a relationship." She said as he swiftly sat up, too, taking her face into his hands with an intent to kiss her all over.

Her words were bringing so much happiness into his heart that he wasn't far away from bursting with joy. He kissed her fiercely, feeling as she returned the movement of his lips with love, yet still tentatively. There was some 'but', as always. But he was somehow sure that they might work things out and find some acceptable solution for both. Despite his earlier words, he couldn't imagine leaving her once again, either.

She had to force herself to release his lips, since they were too addicting for her liking. But she didn't want to give him the wrong impression. "But I don't think I can." She whispered hoarsely, ashamedly hunching up her head in the area between his neck and shoulder.

"Why?" He asked her as he tenderly caressed her hair in soothing strokes. "If it's because you think that we're not ready, then I beg to differ. Look at us. We've never been so honest with each other like we are now. We _are_ ready."

He took her head gently and lifted it from his shoulder to look into her eyes. He could see the agreement in her expression. She was ready to be with him, free of her past, and let the world know she loved him. It was obvious that her love for him was genuine, and she wouldn't mind at all if it was taken to a higher, serious level. That meant that the root of the problem was somewhere else.

"And if it's because of the life you've built over the past two years, then you can certainly continue in doing those things in DC, too." He was persuading her. "Your history courses can be transferred or something. You can study history in the US. It shouldn't be any problem." He restricted himself on stroking her cheeks with his thumbs, avoiding her lips because the smooth, swollen and sensitive skin on her mouth was too seductive.

"You can still travel. In fact, we can travel together to explore and see all those amazing things you'll be learning about." He wanted to show her that he didn't care what she would choose to do, whether to work or study or whatever, as long as she would be with him.

She grinned widely, unable to hide her delight that he seemed to be so proud of her because of her new hobby. "You would be interested?" She asked him breathlessly in awe. She'd gotten used to that people actually weren't that enthusiastic about her interests. And the fact that the man she loved wanted her to share them with him made her feel happy.

"Of course, I would." He nodded which made her gasp in pleasant surprise. "Ziva, those last few hours with you were one of the most interesting ones I've ever experienced. I indeed enjoyed myself." It wasn't just about listening to her voice all the time. She really knew what she was talking about, and she did so with such fervor that he couldn't but feel proud of her and enjoy every detail together with her.

She smiled at him, pleased with herself that she had been able to encourage interest for history in him. Finally, he focused on something else than his movies. Not that it was a bad thing, considering what it meant to him in connection with his mother. But it couldn't hurt to add also something different, something new and fresh to his hobbies. It could only enrich him in a way he yet had to discover.

"I can see how much you love it and I don't want you to give it up." He told her, citing the reasons why he wanted her to keep studying history. Actually, now when he was thinking about it, he was ready to make his ultimate personal sacrifice in order to be with her. "And if there's anything else keeping you in Israel, then I... I will resign. I will leave NCIS and we will live together wherever you want." He offered seriously.

"Tony, no." She refused determinedly, snapping her head to get it out of his embrace. She couldn't believe that he was bringing up this option again.

"Ziva..." He protested weakly, knowing that it was a losing battle.

"No! Just no!" She exclaimed heatedly. "We've already talked about this once, Tony. I don't want you to give up what you love, either, so you're not going to resign to be with me." She knew it sounded a bit ridiculous, considering that he'd been risking his job many times in order to save her, thus he probably loved her more than his job. But she knew what being a federal agent meant to him.

She took a deep breath to calm herself down as looked into his dejected face. "Listen," she grasped his hands and enfolded them with her own, "I know that I haven't been always appreciative of your skills. But you are one of the best agents I've ever had the chance to meet."

It created a little smug smile on his face, never expecting her to reveal something like that. But it was good to hear, considering that she had used to belittle his achievements. Maybe it'd been a way how to psych him up to be even better than he already was. Slightly different approach to improve themselves. After all, the teasing and friendly goading had been what kept them up ahead of the game and maintain the top level.

"You love this job, Tony." She continued, releasing one of his hands and caressing his face soothingly. "It's the purpose of your life. It's what you were born for. I don't want you to leave all of this, and certainly not for me." She told him in all sincerity. Many people didn't have the chance to do the job they actually dreamt of. He was one of the luckiest ones.

"And just because you have some quarrels with Gibbs at the moment, doesn't mean that you don't love it anymore." She added in the afterthought, not forgetting his current work-related problems.

He smiled at her sadly because she was right. It was his dream job and he had sacrificed most of his life for it. He didn't want to throw it away, because without it he would be nothing. He couldn't even imagine doing anything else but his job. As much sad it may sound, he didn't care. He loved the life he had with solving cases and dealing with crimes on federal level. Not even current behavior of his boss could make him to detest it.

She started to play with his hair, raking it and smiling at his purr in delight. "Besides, there's nothing else that keeps me in Israel. Only that it's my homeland. And as for the history courses – you're right, they can be transferred." She told him to calm him down.

Sure, she had built a new life she liked. Those two years were a gift from heavens for her. She'd changed, she'd learnt how to manage her life better, she'd started to do things she actually wanted to do. The only stain was that she missed her surrogate family and _him_ the most in particular. Now, he was offering her to make her life complete, because he knew that she had been successful and fulfilled the promise she'd given to him and herself.

She could easily walk out from her new life and move it to the US. Her friends would only support her choice, after all. They all knew that she deserved the love she so much desired. She held them dear to her heart, because all of them were amazing supporters. And mainly, they had nothing to do with her past life. Still, she was uncertain about this big life change because it didn't concern just her. If she was supposed to return, it would influence lives of other people even more than when she'd left.

Tony stopped himself in a half-way to kiss her and seal the fact that she was coming back with him. _If she believed that they were ready, if there was nothing keeping her in Israel and if she could continue studying history in the US, what was the problem then?_ She hadn't confirmed that any of what he was thinking that made her doubtful about her return was the real problem. There had to be something else.

"What's wrong then? Why do you think you can't return?" He asked naturally. To wipe her disappointed face because he didn't kiss her, he quickly pecked her on her lips.

She sighed, half in content thanks to the touch of his lips, half for the certain reluctance to talk about things that were necessary, though. "What about the others?" She offered tentatively. "I can't waltz back into their lives and expect that everything will be as if I never left."

He raised an eyebrow at her to urge her to continue. It was obvious that she was aware of her sins and he wanted her to unburden herself of it, because she evidently needed it. "You said yourself that they might not fully understand why I decided to leave." She objected. "What if they won't accept me back? What if they won't trust me ever again? Despite all my efforts to explain..."

"Screw them." He cut her off and her eyes widened in surprise.

"Tony! They're your surrogate family." She reminded him, not expecting him to comment the situation by such words.

He sighed, taking her hands into his. "Yes, they're my surrogate family." He agreed. "So, they should respect our decision. You want to return to be with me and I want to be with you. If they don't want to accept that we love each other, then it's their problem, not ours."

She couldn't help but smile, hearing him to say the word 'our', as he considered them already to be a couple. It sent a wave of pleasant warmth across her body, embedding the feeling of content inside her. She knew, however, that gaining respect of their friends was just one of the things that they had to deal with. She was aware that she had given them quite a big reason not to consider her as trustworthy.

"They might have rightful doubts about my sincere love, though. They might think that I might leave you heartbroken again." She objected, knowing that they were very protective of Tony. And she'd broken his heart more than on one occasion. She wouldn't wonder if they wouldn't agree with this relationship.

He caressed her cheek soothingly. He understood her fear, her insecurity. "Look, I know that they might be hurt because they didn't have the chance to say goodbye. Neither were they given the reasons why you so abruptly went away." He knew that they were both to blame. She refused any contact, and he was too blocked to talk about what happened in Israel. Their friends were left in the dark.

"But I was the one who was hurt the most by your leaving. Yet, I understood. Yet, I forgave you." He said quietly. He didn't do all of that just because he loved her, but because he really comprehended her desire to break free of all the burdening past that seemed to always come down onto her in the most inconvenient moments.

Taking her by her chin, he looked into her doe-like eyes. "It won't be easy, I know. But I'm sure that you will do everything to explain yourself. And that they will be willing to listen, eventually. You just need to believe." He assured her, clearing away another wave of doubts by a chaste kiss on her lips.

" _Even the merest gesture is holy if it is filled with faith."_

She moaned into his mouth in pleasure, goose bump spreading through her skin. She loved his motivational speeches that were giving her the exact amount of confidence she needed. She didn't look forward to the talk with their friends, going through the explanation as to why she had disappeared two years ago without saying a word. But with Tony by her side, it was clear that things would work out in the end.

Still, there was one thing they had to talk about and that wasn't easy to overlook. Regretfully, she released his lips with an unhappy smile as she raked his hair. "What about Zoe?" She asked him breathlessly, feeling that this part about his girlfriend wouldn't be pleasant.

He pulled his head back to look at her properly, but the question didn't take him by surprise. Since Zoe was part of his life at the moment, they naturally had to consider her. "I will break up with her, of course." He said without hesitation. "And I would do it even if it wasn't for this."

It wasn't working between them and it was just a matter of time, anyway. He behaved like a jerk to her, and he could only guess why she kept staying with him. Probably out of compassion or something. She liked him too much than to watch as he drowned himself more and more into self-pity and depression. But he knew that it wasn't fair to her to keep her chained to him without any compelling reason. She deserved better.

"I have to tell her the truth." He continued as she grimaced bitterly. "She has to understand that I didn't cheat on her for physical gratification, or because things between us are tense and I needed to forget about it. That I didn't sleep with the first girl that offered herself to me."

He had no intention to run away from this and hide behind pitiful excuses. He didn't want to exculpate himself of his crime of infidelity. He wanted to face Zoe with the truth, no matter how painful it could be. There were certain powers that were beyond him and he couldn't control them. One of them was love. The genuine, profound love he felt for Ziva. Zoe, unfortunately for her, could never reach such a level of affection from him.

"No, I want her to know the truth because she has to understand that the relationship was doomed from the beginning, it wasn't real." He carried on as he gently stroked her face to wipe the unhappy expression that settled there. "I love you, I loved you and I always will. I lied to her and I didn't tell her about you, because she would know that I will never love her in a way I do love you."

Ziva sighed somberly, not feeling any good about herself. She didn't know the woman but knowing certain details from their relationship history, she couldn't help but sympathize with her on some level. She had invested almost a year into a relationship with him and now, she was supposed to get nothing but a misery. And all because of a woman she knew so little about.

"You will break her heart." She noted. She didn't know what Zoe felt for Tony, but considering she'd stayed with him even though he'd behaved terribly to her, there had to be some strong bond, at least from her side. "Again."

Not really knowing how to react, he nodded in affirmation. "The pain is bearable to live with, trust me. I can tell." He said matter-of-factly. He knew the pain of broken heart more than anyone else. And the woman in front of him had been the cause of this painful feeling more than once. Yet, his heart still longed for her. He was sure that Zoe was big enough to handle the situation with dignity.

She lifted her gaze to his, not surprised to see the slightly accusatory look in his eyes. She was aware that his reference was also aimed at her. And she had nothing to defend with, because he was right. And exactly for this reason, she felt even worse than before. She'd hurt him more than she could even count. And another person was supposed to suffer because of her mere existence.

"You will break her heart for me. Because of me." She stressed her trauma. She had enough of scattering seeds of pain behind her.

There was it. The tone of her voice that was self-incriminating and self-loathing. The one he'd heard more than two years ago when she'd accused herself of being a centre of pain of people she loved. And he couldn't stand it, because this time she was purely innocent. He'd created this mess by involving with a woman he wasn't sincere with. He was supposed to be stronger and listen to his heart, instead of cowardly giving in.

With a sigh, he changed his position, sitting up on his knees. "You're not going to become a center of anyone's pain, Ziva." He assured her calmly. "This is not about who is to blame for what, but about the truth and real state of things."

He rested his palm over hers that flatly lied on her knee. She just smiled sadly, knowing that he tried to soothe her, but internally she felt different. "And the truth is that I always wanted you." He continued, gently rubbing his palm over hers, feeling the surges of electricity running through their bodies. "I crossed the world twice to find you. With her... I ran away without even saying goodbye."

She was breaking, she felt it. _His determined words, his sincere tone, his persuasive and imploring eyes..._ She knew that he just tried to convince her that she had no blame in this, and that he was the guilty one. That he would become the bad guy, because he hadn't been strong enough to behave like a man and tell his girlfriend the truth a long time ago. She just needed to open her heart and accept it.

"You're my everything, Ziva. So many people haven't stopped us from wanting each other. So many miles haven't stopped me from wanting you, from thinking of you, from loving you..." He kissed her fiercely, overwhelmed by a sudden urge to express his love in other ways than just by words. They couldn't ever describe the depth of his feelings.

She returned the kiss, melting in his arms for once more. She didn't have anything else to say against his arguments. It was sad that on their way to happiness some people had to get hurt. But as he mentioned, her return wouldn't be easy. At least they would have each other for eternal support based on their love. Because she couldn't really imagine to be without him anymore.

After the need to breathe prevailed, he leaned his forehead against hers. "I will understand if she hates me for that for the rest of her life." He added, knowing that telling the truth would have its price. He couldn't expect from Zoe to be comprehensive. He'd hidden things from her and given her false hope that their relationship had a chance. "She wasted a year with me. But I can't change how I feel."

She palmed his face, admiring his bravery and his sincerity. It was a new side of Tony she hadn't expected and the more she was glad for it. He had matured in front of her eyes into man she really wanted to be with. And she was maturing and changing with him, subconsciously. She wasn't recognizing themselves as they finally behaved like two matured adults. Without hiding, covering, lying, saying half-truths. Finally, they opened up to each other, risking everything.

Kissing him chastely on his lips, she tried to prepare for saying the final 'yes' to her return to the US. She was terrified and unsettled, but happy and content in the same time. He beat her to it, though. "So, what do you say?" He asked her, playing with her hair between his fingers.

"It must be love." She shrugged simply, taking up on his offer to nuzzle each other with their noses. "Because despite all the uncertainty, I want to return with you. I can't imagine being without you anymore."

He breathed out deeply in an attempt to contain himself, because he felt such a sudden rush of joy that he wasn't sure how he should let it out. "You've just..." He couldn't resist and kissed her deeply, bending her head back as she started to laugh at his amorous assault. The following words 'made me the happiest man on this planet' got lost among the affectionate, joyful kisses.

Her back gave away eventually since his hands started to roam across her body, and she find herself lying on the mattress. His body covered hers as they continued kissing unhurriedly, yet passionately. They had a reason to celebrate, reason to seal the deal, reason to be merry and enjoy themselves. Their unexpected meeting had just changed their lives forever and turned them better.

"I love you, Ziva." He breathed out across her swollen lips, his hand caressing her naked sides as it found its way beneath the sheets.

She smiled at him with a smitten look, drawing hearts on his chest with her finger. "I love you, too."

He grinned at her with a thousand-watt smile, hardly believing what was happening. As the adrenalin coursed through his body, his mind opened and thoughts and ideas started to fly across his brain. "Okay, we should book the tickets." He suggested enthusiastically. "I want to have you home as soon as possible. We also have to stop by at Israel to gather your stuff and transfer those history courses... There're so many things we have to arrange, we should start..."

She silenced him as she put her hands across his mouth. "Wow, calm down, loverboy." She said, watching him to widen his eyes in surprise. "We're not leaving yet. We have to plan and organize first."

He furrowed his eyebrows, confused that she didn't share the excitement with him. If he could, he would go immediately on the airport and took her to DC, announcing to everyone that she was back and that they made a couple. Maybe it wasn't that 'hot' with her return, after all. Maybe he was expecting more than he should. After all, this was too good to be true.

"I thought..." He started sadly, clearly upset.

She silenced him once more, soothingly raking his hair to assure him that she wasn't pulling his leg. "I know. And I want to be with you as soon as possible, as well, trust me." She reassured him. "But first, I have to get hold of my school and find out how, where and when to transfer my courses. Then, we can plan the rest of my moving back to the US."

She had enough of doing everything all of a sudden. She wanted to be organized and took things one step at a time, so she would know where she even was. Part of her changing procedure was also to slow down and not to hurry when it wasn't necessary. And if she was supposed to return back to her second home, she wanted to do it appropriately and without unnecessary stress.

"Also, I have to find some apartment to live in DC. I don't want to mindlessly rush it." She objected, hoping he would understand her need to take it slowly. She didn't have any intention to disappoint him, because she didn't want to let go of him ever again in her life. But some things couldn't be arranged immediately. They needed some schedule.

"Live with me." He suggested, already calmed down as he'd curbed his enthusiasm and grasped why she wanted to stay here.

An awkward silence settled in between them, both surprised with the proposal. Tony didn't even know where the words had come from. He just hadn't hesitated to say them the moment they'd appeared on his mind. Ziva was shocked to say the least. His apartment was his den, his shrine, something that no one could breach without a compelling reason.

"But if you don't..." He started carefully, only to be cut off by her affirmation. "I'd love to."

For a moment, the silence prevailed but it was no longer awkward. They just needed a while to absorb the upcoming change in their lives. Because from the point zero they were reaching a level of a serious relationship with all the pros and cons. Neither of them felt scared, though. Only relieved that they had finally decided to reach this kind of mutual understanding and started to fill in the gaps in their lives.

Another kiss followed as a promise of better tomorrows they would spend alongside each other. When they parted, she smiled at him sweetly. "We can't just plunge into everything head-first." She explained to him and he nodded in agreement. "Besides, there's a reason why I came to Prague, Tony. And you had a reason, too. It doesn't seem to me that you've reached your goal, yet."

She just wanted to remind to him that the outside world still had been running. He had come to Europe to find the Christmas spirit, and even though she had done a lot to help him to gain it back, it still hadn't been enough. In addition, there was mainly his relationship with Gibbs he needed to find a way to work on. And she wanted to explore the city and learn of its beauties.

"I know, you're right." He conceded, hanging down his head. Over the last few hours, he had totally forgotten about his work problems. And she had a point – he needed to work on how to deal with them, because it had been his major reason for wanting to be alone and get away for a while. "Sorry, I just got too much excited."

She lifted his head that was buried in the crook of her neck, and ran her fingers across his face lovingly. "Don't be sorry. Let's just live out this fantasy while it lasts, okay?" She suggested, feeling so possessive again, but she didn't want to share him with anyone. "Away from the others, away from all the troubles, without interruptions, just you and me. Because once we set this in motion..."

"We will have to deal with many other things and barely have any time to be together alone." He finished for her, grinning. Once again, she was right. Staying here was giving them the opportunity to savor the beginning of their relationship without anyone's intervention.

"Exactly." She whispered huskily. "And I think I have an idea how to make use of the time we have." Within a second, she wrapped her leg around his and skillfully turned them over, so he was the one lying on the back and she was on top.

He had zero intention to protest, because only the view how she sat up, the sheets loosely wrapped around her body, in some places falling down, so he could see her naked skin, was enough for him to get aroused. And when she bent down to kiss him deeply, knocking his socks off (if he had any on), he let her to make lose themselves in each other for a second time that night.

_**The End of Chapter 9** _


	10. Chapter 10

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 10** _

Ziva couldn't sleep. Dozing off for a few hours was all she needed since she wasn't tired at all. The tension inside her and the march of tonight's events with Tony were to blame for it. Her brain just refused to turn off, so she stayed lying on her side, just watching him in his sleep. He, contrarily from her, slept like a little baby, adorably smacking his lips while dreaming. It always made her smile.

She was thinking about her life and most of all, her blooming relationship with Tony. She couldn't push back those nagging questions in her head that had been discussed earlier, but she still felt uncertain about them. _What will happen after they come back to DC together? How the Team Gibbs will react on her return? Will they accept her back as their friend? Will they trust her enough with Tony's heart and accept her as his girlfriend?_

The questions in her head concerned also his current girlfriend. She didn't want to cause any more pain to anyone. _Will Zoe be able to deal with the unavoidable break-up? Will she take it calmly? Or will she decide to make their lives living Hell?_ She just hoped that Zoe would understand that he loved someone else and let him go. After all, she truly didn't deserve such treatment, but someone who would really love her unconditionally. Tony apparently wasn't that man for her.

She took him by his hand when he started to whimper from his dream, his troubled face immediately turning into the one of a blissful expression. She smiled widely, remembering all those times they had shared a bed and she'd been doing the same as she was doing now, without him knowing. He was the cutest creature on this planet when he was sleeping. Not even a puppy could beat him to it.

Minutes went by quite quickly and before she knew it, the first rays of sunlight started to illuminate the room. It seemed that in some point of the night, it had stopped snowing and all that remained was a fresh snow on the streets with the sun in the sky. Simply, a fairytale-like Christmas setting. She couldn't wait to set off their journey around Prague's monuments she had planned during yesterday's evening.

She realized immediately that he was waking up from his slumber once he firmly squeezed her hand as he wanted to assure himself that he was truly holding her hand in his. She watched as he slowly blinked, carefully opening his eyes to savor the first look on her. She couldn't stop grinning, her cheeks reddening at the amorous expression on his face, knowing his love belonged only to her.

"Morning, sleepy head." She greeted him, dazed by the look he was sending her. The warmth that overwhelmed her was so unfamiliar. "How did you sleep?"

He stretched his body, still holding her hand. "Like a baby." He murmured, kissing her gently on her lips, dying to do so for so many years. "What about you?" He asked and kissed the skin of her shoulder, tanned from the Israeli sun.

She sighed the moment she felt his soft lips on her bare skin. If she let him keep doing it, things would lead them to other forms of engagement than sightseeing and conversation about the matters that stood before them and they had to deal with. Wanting to distract herself from what Tony was doing to her, she chose to play with his tousled hair, trying to straighten it. It helped her to keep her mind sane and focus on the words she was saying.

"I didn't sleep much. I had a lot of thinking to do." She admitted her momentarily sleeplessness.

Tony blinked a few times, repeating her words inside his head to comprehend what it meant for him, for their current status. He refused let the fear to seize him but the seed was planted, nevertheless. Too much thinking had never meant anything good in her case, especially when it came to their relationship. Her stay in Israel was a proof. And he really didn't want her to revise her opinions based on her deep contemplations about her life as she had always tended to. Any kind of change of their agreement from yesterday would be too much for his heart to bear.

"Why didn't you wake me up? We could've done the thinking together." He objected, unable to hide the uneasiness in his voice.

She smiled at him calmly, knowing that she had to stand those moments of mistrust towards her. She couldn't blame him for it, so she decided to do everything that was in her powers to show him that her love for him was sincere and she had no intention to disappoint him. He was the centerpiece of her life at the moment. And she wanted to achieve the fulfillment of their love. No matter what kind of hardship could come their way.

"It was really nothing, Tony. Just too many things on my mind." She assured him, comfortingly caressing his cheek. "I don't have any second thoughts."

His mouth was on hers in an instant, swallowing any other words of assurance. He didn't need to hear more to overcome the initial confusion. He sorely loved her for being her, for wanting to come back with him, to finally be with him, for giving in to her feelings. She giggled into his mouth, wrapping her arms around his neck to bring him closer, to feel his body skin on skin, setting them both on fire.

But then again, her tour guide duty set off the alarm in her head. As much as she wanted to spend the whole day with him in bed, demonstrating her love for him and be consumed by the same feeling from him, she couldn't forget the main reasons as to why they were in this city. And she didn't want to help him to find just the Christmas spirit. She also wanted to help him to work up the courage and face Gibbs with his problems.

She released his lips and he didn't protest to her surprise. He was just looking at her with his puppy-like expression, gently kneading her flesh behind the covers. "Still, you should've waked me up." He told her, although he knew that his body would have fallen for the exhaustion, anyway. He'd been jet-legged, worn out and stressed. He'd needed that sleep.

She sent him a mischievous smile, touching the tip of his nose. "You know, when you're asleep you're finally quiet. So, one is actually _allowed_ to think." She teased him, laughing playfully as she blocked his attempt to smack her arm.

"Hey!" He objected, stifling laugh on his own. He opened his palm and intertwined their fingers, lusciously licking his lips. Her kiss was the only thing he desired in this world.

She let out a bubbly laugh, sensually massaging the back of his neck. "And you're also so adorable." She said, fulfilling his wish by kissing him deeply, tasting him as she caught him by his chin and controlled the moves of their mouths.

His hands hungered for touching her, soon trailing their new favorite trail down her body. He wanted to make her shiver for him, to make her go crazy for him. He'd already done that, if not ever before, then certainly last night. But he'd fallen in love with the feeling and wanted to spend the rest of his life by doing so. She was his soon-to-be everything. Girlfriend, fiancée, bride, wife, the mother of his children...

She moaned, both in pleasure and disapproval. She was still in the full control of herself and even though it was tempting to lose it, she'd promised herself something. And that promise was sacred to her. After all, if she was supposed to live with him, it was her duty to take care of his well-being. And he was troubled, so she wanted to help him to make him feel better and find out how to work on improvement.

She threw her thigh over his, drawing herself closer to him. He wrongly thought that their mutual desire would come to fruition to the pleasure of both. So, he played along when she straddled his hips, getting on top of him without breaking the kiss that would be too sinful to give up. He hungrily embraced her, groaning into her mouth as she settled in his lap, hardening his manhood.

"Sightseeing?" She asked him in a husky whisper after she released his lips, testing his and her own willpower. "Or lazing around?"

Groaning loudly as she wriggled her hips, purposely doing everything to make him go crazy, he didn't have any doubts what the 'lazing around' activities would be. "Okay, let me choose." He teased her back, nevertheless. "Strolling through this beautiful city or spending the whole day with you in the bed... I think I've already made up my mind."

His skillful hands found her ticklish spots he'd already known about from the past, although he only hazily remembered how he'd found about them back then. Important thing was that her body immediately reacted to the light touch of his fingers, filling the room with her unmistakable laughter. He certainly made up his mind, because he wanted to do this for the rest of his life.

His intentions to tickle her to death, though, were interrupted by the annoying sound of his ringing phone. "Saved by the bell." She breathed out after she got her laughter under control, while he sighed frustratingly.

She took his face into her hands, soothingly caressing it. "Sightseeing it is." She informed him sweetly. "I'll now take a shower, _alone_. And you'll answer the call."

With resignation he leaned over to the nightstand where his phone was, while she got up from the bed, stretching her naked body unabashedly. She was aware of his eyes roaming over her skin and couldn't hide her self-satisfied smirk. Although she'd just thwarted his plans for a lazy day in the bed, she felt fully appreciated from her lover. And more than satisfied.

Giving him the privacy for the call, she headed for the bathroom, blowing him a kiss before she closed the door behind her. He sighed happily and this time looked at the screen to find out who was calling him. And then, he actually smiled. "Hey, Tim." He greeted his closest friend. "How come that you're up? It should be like after 3 AM in DC."

" _Yes, it is. But I wanted to be sure that I'd reach you."_ Tim's worried voice filled his ears. Tony had just left him a message about his trip and his whereabouts, but without any explanation. _"Is everything okay, Tony? Because I'm kinda worried."_

Tony sighed, finding it really nice that his surrogate brother never failed to care so deeply for him. He'd do anything for him, as well, after all. "Yes, everything's fine. I just needed some time to be alone. To think and relax, nothing more." He answered as he sat up and raked his hair.

" _And you had to flee to Europe for that?"_ Tim asked. He wasn't annoyed, but this unusual behavior of his friend had scared the hell out of him.

"I won't lie." Tony confessed sincerely. "I wanted to be as far away as possible. Somewhere no one would ever search for me. You're the only one I told where am I." For a second, he thought about sharing the happiness he'd been experiencing at the moment. Secrets were like a forbidden fruit, though. And he wanted Ziva to be surprise for the whole team once they returned to DC.

"But I'll be back in work on Monday, don't worry." He added, trying to fill the void after the pause he'd made. As much as he wanted to, he really couldn't tell Tim right now who he had met.

" _Zoe called me."_ Tim changed the subject abruptly. He sensed that Tony was hiding something from him. The pregnant pause had been filled with something more than just an assurance about his arrival. But he decided not to push. He knew his friend long enough to know that he would break eventually.

" _She was worried because she couldn't reach you."_ He went on, smiling at Delilah who brought him a cup of coffee. She stayed awake with him, sharing his concern about Tony. _"I didn't tell her where you are, but I think you should talk to her."_

Tony closed his eyes and sighed wearily. It was perfect to live this dream, being with Ziva and forget about his problems. However, the reality tended to return with a crushing force. The more he was determined to enjoy this trip with her as much as he could. Because she was right – after their arrival to the US, their time would be consumed only by talks and explanations. And he wasn't looking forward to those under any circumstance.

"I've already spoken to her, thanks McGee." He appreciated a lot that his location hadn't been revealed. Not that he was afraid that Zoe might follow him, but one never knew.

Tim took a deep breath, gathering the courage to ask a question that had already been on his mind for several weeks. _"You two are going to break up, aren't you?"_

"It'll be the first thing I do after I get back." Tony confirmed without hesitation. His openness was shocking even to him. But it was the way he felt it. He loved Ziva and wanted to be with her. And for starting his new relationship with a clean shield, the breakup with his current girlfriend was necessary.

" _I'm sorry, Tony."_ Tim said in a sad tone. He didn't know all the details of their relationship (and the ones he knew were those he'd rather forget about), but he'd seen how they were destroying each other lately. It was in the air. The times when she'd made him smile and helped him to see the world in brighter light were irretrievably gone.

Bittersweet smile appeared on Tony's face. "No need. It was about to happen sooner or later anyway and you know that, Tim." He appreciated the sympathy in the voice of his surrogate brother. "Better to end it before anyone gets really hurt."

" _I guess you're right."_ Tim agreed with him. It had no point for them staying together if it wasn't working. He just wished that Tony would finally find someone with whom he would be happy. He deserved it. _"Well, enjoy the rest of your vacation. Merry Christmas, Tony."_

"Merry Christmas to you too, Tim. And say hi to Delilah for me." He ended the call, watching as Ziva reappeared back in the room, wearing a bathrobe. She sent him a sweet smile, her face flushed from the hot water that was cascading on her skin. She didn't question him about the call, fully respecting his privacy.

She took everything into her hands, hauling him out of the bed, ordering him to go to his room and take new fresh clothes. She didn't forget to mention that it was freezing outside, so he should be dressed up warmly. He obeyed without any objection, knowing that she would have it her own way, anyway. And he was looking forward to the stroll through the city. Listening to her voice whole day, supplementing him with information while he would stare at her in amazement, completely in love.

* * *

Before they left the hotel, they arranged a change in their accommodation. Tony's stuff was moved to Ziva's room, which proved to be favorable for a young couple that was searching for some vacant room in the area. Afterwards, they ordered a taxi, because Ziva wanted to star their trip at the Powder Gate and walking there would mean that they would have to take the same way back. Which would spoil her role as a tour guide.

And she took that role very seriously. Once they found themselves at the crossroads in front of the Powder Gate, which they had passed by yesterday, she explained to him what she'd prepared for them. Many of significant Prague monuments lined the Royal Route and so, they were about to take this route and learn, observe and explore all the things that were interesting for them to see.

" _Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old."_

Before they could start, though, he had to listen to her explanation as to why the Royal Route had such significance. The coronation of the new king was very important event for the whole kingdom. People connected the new ruler with high hopes and better future life. That was why it had been so important for the future king to introduce himself to the public and demonstrate the power of his majesty. Royal Route was a convenient opportunity to do so.

The whole Royal Route ceremony continued the legacy of the legendary Přemysl the Ploughman, husband of princess Libuše, with whom they had founded the Přemyslid dynasty and the city of Prague. According to the legend, Libuše saw in her vision a farmer with one broken sandal, ploughing a field*, who was supposed to become her husband and the founder of the dynasty. Her councilmen found this man in a village called Stadice and Přemysl travelled to Prague to marry her.

The first coronation took place in 1086 after the first King of Bohemia, Vratislaus II., was granted a lifetime royal title from the Holy Roman Emperor Henry IV. The last coronation was held in 1836 when Ferdinand V., nicknamed 'The Good' due to his sympathy with Bohemia unlike his ancestors, was crowned as last King of Bohemia. His successors, Francis Joseph I. and Charles III., held the title, but were never crowned officially.

The Royal Route started at Royal Court, former residence of Czech kings in 14th and 15th century. The complex had included the main palace, houses for courtiers, spa and garden where lions had been bred. It no longer existed as it had been torn down in the beginning of 20th century. Instead, a Municipal House in Art Nouveau architecture style had been built with Smetana concert hall inside.**

After this introduction that was often interrupted by sweet kisses, because Tony just couldn't resist not flooding her with some, they walked through the Powder Gate and entered the street on the right. Their hands linked together as the natural need to feel the connection between them prevailed above anything else. They didn't need to hide their love anymore.

It was nice December morning. The sun was shining through the dense clouds, creating spectacular scenery with the snow sparkling from all sides. The streets were ploughed so it was easy to walk through them and focus on the buildings they were passing by. Like the House of the Black Madonna, the first example of cubist architecture in Prague and one of the most known example of Czech cubism.

"Okay, stop holding it back." Tony suddenly said, not being blind and deaf to Ziva's attempt to start a conversation. She kept opening and shutting up her mouth, always adorably tilting her head towards him. But in the last second, she'd always chickened out. "I know you want to say something, so talk."

She sighed and raked her hair a bit nervously. She wanted to repair him, repair his relationship with Gibbs, because she knew how much it meant to him. Not to mention that it would influence their future. As much as he didn't want to work on it at the moment, she wanted to choose this sightseeing tour for discussing it. They might be on the beginning of their vacation, but the outside world still had existed and kept haunting them.

"I think that you should also start working on the main problem that lead you here." She suggested carefully, squeezing his hand. He'd tried to escape from reality by hiding in Europe, but it didn't mean that his problems had gotten solved. "Your relationship with Gibbs."

"I know I should." He chuckled in bittersweet amusement. "I just don't know how, where to start..." The desperation was evident in his voice. He meant to approach this subject and work it out so he would return to DC with some plan how to fix his current life. It was hard as hell, though.

"Well, for starters I think you should determine what you really want. And stick with it." She offered expertly. It seemed that he needed some push because even though he wanted to solve his problem, he kept avoiding it. And since there was no one but her to give him the push, she did so gladly. "Then talk with him about it. And find a compromise between what you want and what he wants."

He rubbed his forehead with a deep sigh to relief the knot of tension inside his chest. Whenever he was thinking about Gibbs recently, he was getting upset. "The problem is that I don't think he will listen." He objected wearily. "I've tried talking to him many times over the past few months, Ziva. He didn't give me a chance."

Gibbs was complicated person and as much as he was a wonderful boss, sometimes his behavior was getting on Tony's nerves. He would welcome some display of emotions, passion, _anything_ from his boss just to find out what was happening inside the silver-haired head. Their personal talks were characterized by silence lately. And Gibbs was able to pull out a wide range of kinds of silence. The most usual one he applied towards Tony was refusing silence. Which meant that Tony might be talking, but Gibbs was oblivious to his words.

She stopped and with a firm squeeze of his hands, she halted his steps, too. Turning to him and lovingly adjusting his coat, she looked up at him with a soothing smile. "He will listen to you now." She assured him calmly. "I will make him."

He couldn't help the enamored smile that crept into his face. He loved that she wanted to fight for him and stand up to her former boss. It proved him that she was really ready to fight for their love. "It's not necessary, Ziv." He assured her, though. This was his battle to fight.

She bit her bottom lip, trying to fight the urge to kiss him because his smitten look was making her feel weak in her knees. "I know." She admitted. "And I don't want put the words into your mouth, Tony. But the situation between you two is unbearable."

She took his hand and they started walking, again. "If it got to the point that you had to flee to Europe to clear you head, then you have to admit that it's really serious." She said as he nodded his head in agreement. "I could see how troubled you are from the first moment."

It surprised him that it had been apparently so visible that he wasn't fine. He though he'd hid it well. But she'd seen through the façade he had put on to convince people about his supposed well-being. She truly knew him and cared for him genuinely. She also understood him in this matter more than anyone, since she'd been through a couple of heartfelt conversation with Gibbs.

"You just can't go on like this." She noted. He was her boyfriend now and she cared about his future. "When we get back, you have to be ready to resolve it."

He smiled at her slightly bossy tone. But he also knew that all she wanted was their happiness. And she was right. Things couldn't continue the way they had been in the past few months. He was tired of that situation. He needed change. "What do you suggest?" He asked. The conversation with Gibbs could go two ways. Either a successful one, or it could become a total disaster.

They entered the Old Town Square and stopped at the corner just a few meters from the Christmas tree they had admired on yesterday's evening. "Even if he pretends that he isn't listening, talk. Put your foot down." She advised him. He had a lot to say to his surrogate father and for once, Gibbs had to stop giving him the cold shoulder. "Tell him how you feel. Tell him how much he is hurting you with his ill-treatment towards you. Tell him about what you want. Offer him to find a compromise. But don't give up."

He cupped her cheek, rubbing his thumb over the red-tinged skin due to the cold. He loved how they were able to pour the fresh blood into the veins of each other, adding more confidence, more hopes and more visions of bright future. When he was with her, nothing could burst the bubble of certitude he was enveloped in. She was the one who was giving him to energy to deal with all of his problems.

"I promise I will." He vowed sincerely. "But now, I need to buy something for breakfast."

He was famished, despite all the food he was able to eat up yesterday. His hearty appetite was back and not only for food. Her tour-guiding therapy was working and he planned to repay the favor the moment he had the chance. She scowled at him since before they'd gotten in the taxi, he'd managed to stuff a pack of peanuts from the mini-bar into his mouth. But then she heard his stomach grumble, she slackened off her strictness.

They both bought a kielbasa with bread and mustard in the nearby booth sale. Tony sunk his teeth into the smoked meat with pleasure, humming in delight in unison with his stomach. He'd missed junk food so much. He hadn't been eating much for the last few months, although Abby had always made sure that he'd eaten at least some sandwich. If it hadn't been for her, he would have starved to death, probably.

With a smile, Ziva wiped off the mustard on his cheek since he wasn't careful enough and smeared a bit on his face. He thanked her between the chews and looked around himself. It was interesting to see the square in the daylight. He had to admit that both daylight and dark had its magic. The impressive Christmas tree dominated the place with the picturesque sales booths around. The square was already crowded but incomparably less than on yesterday's evening.

A memorial plaque on the house in front of them caught his eye. With interest, he approached it and found out a Czech inscription that was translated into English. "Look at that." He pointed his finger on the plaque, drawing Ziva's attention. " _Here, in the salon of Mrs. Berta Fanta, Albert Einstein, professor at Prague University in 1911 to 1912, founder of the theory of relativity, Nobel Prize winner, played the violin and met his friends, famous writers Max Brod*** and Franz Kafka._ " He read as he kept eating his kielbasa.

"Interesting." He commented. "Didn't know that Einstein knew Kafka personally."

"Apparently, they did know each other. They were both Jewish, so..." She shrugged and then smiled as she remembered something. "Actually, do you see the building out there that stands out?" She turned him around and pointed at a building nearby.

He nodded and set off their way there to examine the building closer, passing by a pen with donkey, pony and goats, surrounded by enthused children who wanted to pet the animals. "It used to be a German academic secondary school that Kafka attended." Ziva told him, adding more to their Kafka-filled experience.

"Although it was a German gymnasium, Kafka studied Czech language there, actually achieving very good grades." She noted as she handed him her tray with kielbasa, so she could look into her wise tour-guide book. "However, Kafka never considered himself good in Czech, though his German was heavily influenced by Czech accent."

"What a paradox." Tony chuckled, feeding her as she snapped her fingers, pulling out her brown leather notebook he'd given her a few years back.

"Kafka actually spoke highly about Czech language, though. In his _Letters to Milena_ he wrote this," she enthusiastically found the page in the obviously overused notebook, " _German is my mother tongue and as such more natural to me, but I consider Czech much more affectionate, which is why your letter removes several uncertainties; I see you more clearly, the movements of your body, your hands, so quick, so resolute, it's almost like a meeting._ " She recited her notes.

He could only stare at her in awe. He couldn't believe that she still had the notebook and was using it. And that she was reading this beautiful quote out of it. Quote of a man who was obviously crazy in love with that Milena-woman. Whose love was evidently as deep as his love for Ziva. Just as Kafka had appreciated Czech-written letters from the object of his love, he appreciated that his love used a gift he'd bought to her.

He threw away both trays since their kielbasas had been eaten. Not hesitating another second, he took her head into his hands, capturing her lips before she could say anything. She accepted his hot, moist mouth on hers without objections, enjoying the smoked meat flavor she could taste. Once again, they were kissing next to the Christmas tree, but this time without any interruptions.

Sensually, he ran his tongue across her bottom lip, seeking the entrance. He wasn't in hurry, so he kept playing with her when she refused to open her mouth fully. When he grabbed her by her head, though, burying his fingers in her hair, she parted her lips and let his tongue slip inside. The explosion of pleasure inside her chest was overwhelming that it made her head spin.

"He really had to love that woman." He commented breathlessly, once he released her lips, slipping his arms on her sides to make her steady.

She understood that he was using some parallel, although she had no idea of what kind. That kiss had been much more than she'd first anticipated. He'd poured all his heart into it, making her tremble, embedding something much more than love inside her. "I guess he did." She stuttered out, still in haze due to the aftermath of the kiss.

He gently rubbed the skin on the wrist of her right hand in which she held the notebook. And it suddenly struck her why he was so overwhelmed with his emotions. The brown leather notebook that, at first, had meant nothing to her. She hadn't been specially excited when he'd given it to her. She'd taken it as an ordinary gift. That was until she'd found that that her name in Hebrew was embossed in the leather.

She remembered as she'd been sitting in her home, tracing her fingers across the letters of her name. The ordinary gift had turned into a personal one. The notebook had been meant only for her. She'd leafed through the pages, trying to figure out how she should use it, when she'd noticed a dedication at the back of the notebook. _From T. with Love._ At first, she'd stared at it with shock, but then she'd slowly smiled.

Their dance around each other had become much more over the years. She'd tried to deny it many times, but to no avail. Her heart had belonged to him for quite a while, although she had done things that spoke about the opposite. This gift, the notebook, had told her that Tony felt the same. She could be sure about his feelings. Firmly, she'd embraced the notebook and held it close to her heart.

She hadn't written anything inside the notebook, though. As if she had wanted to wait for a special occasion to start filling it with memories and notes. However, two and half years ago, when she'd left NCIS and started tracing her roots in Israel, she'd finally decided that it'd been good time to start writing. And so, it had become some sort of a traveler diary of hers, recording her experiences and memories. And it still had been up to this day.

Since they'd never mentioned the notebook, he probably thought that she'd forgotten about it. And now, when she'd pulled it out, completely forgetting about the non-verbal love confession this notebook held, she'd given him the much desired proof. Proof that she'd been in love with him much sooner than they had admitted to each other. No wonder he'd been overwhelmed.

They were looking at one another, forever caught up in their silent mutual understanding. Tony cleared his throat after a while, though, because staring into her eyes was making havoc in his head. "So, who is this guy?" He asked her hoarsely, clearing his throat once more. His head turned to the monumental sculpture right in front of them.

It took her a while to realize what he'd been asking about, but then she chuckled mildly and put her brown leather notebook back into her bag. "Do you remember the Bethlehem Chapel we went pass yesterday?" She asked him and after his enthusiastic nod, she continued. "It's a memorial of Jan Hus, the priest who used to preach in the Chapel and who was burnt at the stake by the Roman Catholic Church later."

He couldn't but admire the sculpture, because even though it had been pushed back among all those sales booths and Christmas decorations, it stood out proudly. She noticed the spark of interest in his eyes and decided to add more information to feed him. "Jan Hus became a symbol of strength against oppression for Czechs." She said, squeezing his hand. "His significance became stronger during the Habsburg rule and the Communist regime. It gave people strength to fight for their rights and hope for better future."

He smiled at her, silently thanking for the information as they went around the memorial. He stopped for a while to look at the impressive view of the Christmas tree, sucking in the atmosphere. He was thankful for that she had been trying to get him back into the festive mood, which proved right away as she handed him over another of the amazing sweet pastries.

"Anything particularly interesting about the Church of Our Lady before Týn?" He asked her, nodding his at the majestic building behind the tree. He put an emphasis on the name of the church, wanting to show that he had really read something about this beautiful city.

"Hm, let me see..." She replied and buried her nose into her tour-guide book. "Well, the only interesting fact you might want to know that Tycho Brahe is buried there. He was a Danish nobleman, and mainly an astronomer, astrologer and alchemist. He was known for his accurate astronomical and planetary observations that are valuable for the reason that he wasn't using telescopes for his observations, but his naked eye."

He hummed in appreciation, wondering how could astronomers be so accurate when they didn't use telescopes. He chuckled silently as he realized that she'd remembered one thing he'd confessed to her about his mother. It wasn't a coincidence she'd chosen to tell him about this Tycho Brahe. She'd done it deliberately, because she'd remembered what he'd revealed to her about his childhood.

His desire to see _The Little Prince_ movie had been intensified due to his enthusiastic interest in astronomy. His mother had used to take him to planetariums so he could observe moon, stars and planets visible from the Earth. He'd dreamt about becoming an astronaut and visiting other planets. So, _The Little Prince_ was actually a parallel of his dreams coming true.

He turned to her and awarded her with a gentle kiss on her cheek, lingering his lips pleasantly for a long while. She blushed because she understood that he'd noticed why she'd chosen this particular man to tell him about. And she didn't have any problems to admit it, because yes – she wanted to make him happy and let him see that she'd listened to him genuinely before.

Clearing her throat to stop losing in his intense eyes, she looked into her book and turned around. "The Old Town Hall, though," she said, looking up and down at the Gothic tower that dominated the second side of the Old Town Square, "has quite a history."

They weaved their way through the sales booths to stand in front of the majestic piece of architecture. "It was founded in 14th century by the citizens of the Old Town of Prague who got the privilege from their king, John of Bohemia****, the father of Charles IV." She narrated, alternating between reading from the book and looking at him.

"It's very unusual and unique town hall because it consists of many different small houses." She continued and he accompanied her lecture with appreciative humming. "It's been rebuilt many times in many architectonic styles, but certain parts are still preserved in the original Gothic one. The walls inside are covered with paintings from famous Czech painters and artists, depicting legends, mythologies and historical events."

She looked over at him since he didn't react in any way on the information she'd given him. And she saw him studying thoughtfully the cobblestones under their feet. "Twenty-one... Roman six... L.P. Sixteen twenty-one." He read the writing made out of white cobblestones that were inserted between the dark grey ones. "I guess it means a date? Like June 21st, 1621?" He lifted his head up to her expectantly, wanting to find out more.

"Yes, it does." She answered with a proud smile, really happy that he didn't feign his interest and asked the questions because he genuinely wanted to enrich himself of history. "It refers to the Old Town Square execution that happened that day. Those crosses above," she pointed her finger at the white crosses made out of cobblestones above the date, "are tribute to the victims. 27 crosses for 27 executed noblemen."

"Why did that happen?" He asked her curiously, wondering what those 27 men did that they had been dispatched in such a way.

Her smile got bigger, despite the bloody history she was going to tell him about. His interest really warmed her heart. "It was a direct consequence of the Battle of White Mountain***** from November 1620. Those 27 noblemen belonged to the leaders of Bohemian revolt, a Protestant rebellion against the Roman Catholic Holy Roman Empire, which Czech lands were part of."

For the rest, she looked into her book to study all the necessary information and retell him the history. "Their rebel forces were no match against the Holy Roman Empire army. So, even though they were passionate about their goal, which was to maintain the religious freedom, granted by Emperor Rudolf II., they suffered a crushing defeat."

She paused and watched as he approached the memorial plaque with the names of the executed men. "The execution was a typical menacing demonstration of power that was supposed to prove that Habsburgs wouldn't be intimated by any kind of protestant rebellion and it couldn't imperil their authority. It strengthened their rule in Czech lands and discouraged anyone from potential displays of resistance."

She put her hand on his shoulder, sensing his sudden disquiet. She understood that he realized one thing – history had the tendency to repeat itself. It didn't matter what year it was. It didn't matter who was the enemy he was standing against. It didn't matter what were the means the enemy used. It was all about the same – demonstration of power and effort to strengthen the authority. To quash the resistance and be victorious.

It was a frustrating realization for someone who became a cop to help people, to arrest criminals, to bring justice to the victims and their families. It brought questions into his head whether his job had really some meaning. Because there would be always someone who tried to demonstrate that he/she was something more than anyone else. Once again, he questioned whether sacrificing his personal life for his job was the right thing.

Her hand on his shoulder was calming him down, though. He didn't know where these thoughts had come from and why they had plagued his mind. He just knew that he instantly felt better thanks to her presence. "Go on." He requested, sensing that she wanted to wrap it up.

"The aftermath is considered as the Dark Age for Bohemian Kingdom." She continued, taking his hand and squeezing it comfortingly. "It brought strict recatholization of the Czech lands. And generally decline of the Czech-speaking aristocracy and elite, as well as the Czech language, as opposed to German-speaking elites. It was eventually slowed down by the Czech National Revival since the late 18th century, but more or less, it influenced the fate of the Czech lands for the next 300 years."

He turned to her and gently caressed her face. "Thank you." He said seriously and bent down to kiss her. Somehow, she had the feeling that he wasn't thanking her just for the history lesson she'd just given him. But also for the joy she brought to his life, making him to forget about all those bad things happening all around him. She didn't wonder anymore, that he'd missed her so much.

"Do you plan to kiss me on each square meter of this square?" She asked him breathlessly after he released her lips. After all, it had been a third kiss he'd given her at this medieval place.

His enamored smile, accompanied by a chuckle, would be able to light up the Christmas tree standing nearby. "I might just do that." He answered, claiming her lips once again to kiss her thoroughly.

She moaned into his mouth appreciatively, feeling his restlessness waving. Putting her hands on his chest, she gave in to the love pulsating in her veins. It reached to the every fiber of her being, embedding inside and determined not to leave ever again. She might not depend on happy endings but if this was a segment of it, she was willing to accept it with open arms.

With dopey grins, they moved to the last monument on the Old Town Square she wanted him to get acquainted with in detail. Prague astronomical clock, the oldest still working astronomical clock in the world. It was first installed in 1410, as he was told by his beautiful tour guide that happened to be the love of his life at the same time, which had made them to be the third oldest one in the world back then.

The Orloj, as it was known in the Czech language, composes of three main components – the astronomical dial that displays various astronomical details such as the position of the Sun and the Moon, the Walk of the Apostles, and a calendar dial with medallions. It's a very important part of the city that is surrounded by various legends. One of them tells that Prague would suffer if the clock was neglected and its good operation would be placed in jeopardy. The ghost, mounted on the clock, was supposed to nod his head in confirmation if that ever happened. The only hope was represented by a boy born in the New Year's night. The moment the clock would start working again, the boy should run from the Church of Our Lady before Týn across the square towards the Old Town Hall. If he managed to do so by the last strike of the clock, the Evil was defeated.

Ziva closely described the mechanical astrolabe that displayed the current state of the universe to Tony, who was staring at it with shining eyes. The astronomical dial is practically a primitive planetarium. The stationary background, that represents the standing of the Earth and the sky, is lined on the outer edge with a timescale of normal 24-hour day. While the curved golden lines, dividing the blue part of the dial into twelve parts, mark for unequal hours.****** To stress the journey of the Earth around the Sun, the words in Latin are written on the dial – _aurora_ (dawn) and _ortus_ (rising) on eastern part, and _occasus_ (sunset) and _crepusculum_ (twilight) on the western part.

The outer edge of the clock is a ring with black background and golden Schwabacher numerals that indicates Old Czech Time.******* The symbol of the Sun shows the day, dawn, twilight and the night, the height of the Sun above the horizon, the position of the Sun in zodiac, approximate calendar date and the time in local Prague time, in unequal hours and the Old Czech Time. The symbol of the Moon was constructed in a unique way to show the Lunar phase and its functionality is similar to the Sun symbol, only the speed is much faster.

Another interesting part of the dial was a movable zodiacal ring, showing the Sun's location on the ecliptic. A connecting rod on the dial moves the symbol of the Sun, so it would show the current sign. The angular size of the signs is the same, although it doesn't look like that due to the eccentric placing on the ring. Each sign is divided onto six parts by the rays on the ring's perimeter which helps to roughly determine the actual date. Also, there is a small golden star that shows the position of the vernal equinox.

The walk of the Apostles is then another main attraction that Prague astronomical clock is famous for. Every hour, two small windows above the astronomical dial open, and twelve apostles show together with their attributes********. It's not known since when this attraction has been installed, because the archives were burnt during the great fire in 1945. But it's been there since 19th century for certain.

Ziva pointed out that there were also other nine statues that were part of the orloj. Tony took up on the offer and since he'd been familiar with the figures, they found them together. Right above the apostles, there is a golden rooster that terminates their walk with a crow. On the upper left side there are two statues: a figure representing Vanity that admires himself in the mirror, and Miser holding a bag of gold and a cane, representing greed and usury. The upper right side is notable for Death that strikes the time upon the hour, and Turk as a symbol of lust and other earthly pleasures. On the bottom left side a philosopher statue scrutinize the world, and archangel Michael used to point the date on the calendar dial. The bottom right side includes an astronomer who observes the sky, and a chronicler recording the events and history.

The last part of the astronomical clock was the calendar dial. The allegory of the months with rural and agricultural theme was a work of Czech Romanticism painter Josef Mánes*********. There are also smaller circles representing the zodiac signs with a central circle showing the medieval sign of Prague. The outer ring is a church calendarium with names of 365 Saints and dates of immovable feasts.

For a while the couple just stood there and admired the monument. After everything they had learnt about it, they needed a moment to sink all the information in. Fortunately, the full hour had approached and they had the privilege to see the Walk of the Apostles from a very good position. Other tourists gathered around them to watch the show, too. The momentary sense of belonging made both Tony and Ziva to smile. And when the last strike of the clock was heard, their lips joined in a passionate kiss.

_**The End of Chapter 10** _

* * *

* Or rating from an iron table. The legend varies in this case.

** Named after Bedřich Smetana (1824 – 1884), Czech composer most known for his symphonic cycle _Má vlast (My Homeland)._ The building is decorated by artworks from famous Czech Art Noveau painters such as Alpohnse Mucha or Max Švabinský.

*** Max Brod (1884 – 1968) – German-speaking Czech Jewish author, composer and journalist. One of the best friends of Franz Kafka. He refused to follow his friend's instructions and instead of burning all his works, he published them instead, making Kafka popular after his death. After Nazi German took over Prague, he fled to Tel Aviv, where he worked as a script editor for Israeli National Theatre.

**** John of Bohemia (1296 – 1346) – the Count of Luxembourg, King of Bohemia and King of Poland. He is well-known for his death in the Battle of Crécy since he was already blind for 10 years. One of the most known quotes supposedly uttered by him is _"Far it be that the King of Bohemia should run away. Instead, take me to the place where the noise of the battle is the loudest. The Lord will be with us. Nothing to fear. Just take good care of my son."_ – that signs that even though his interest in foreign politics made him constantly absent in Bohemian kingdom and he wasn't beloved amongst the Czech people, he felt honoured to be the Bohemian king.

***** Battle of White Mountain (8th November 1620) – one of many battles of Thirty Years' War (1618 – 1648), one of the longest and most destructive war conflicts in European history. It's also classified as the last of the European wars of religion. Bohemian Revolt (that ended with Battle of White Mountain) was the first phase of this war conflict that eventually ended with Peace of Westphalia.

****** Unequal hours – hours that are defined as 1/12 of the time between sunrise and sunset, varying with the season.

******* Old Czech Time or Italian hours – the number 24 indicates the time of the sunset which varies during the year. The Old Czech day used to begin with the sunset, so the clock shows the number of hours since the last one happened.

******** 1. Saint James, the Less with a fuller's club and a book. 2. Saint Peter with a key. 3. Saint Andrew with a saltire. 4. Saint Matthew with an axe. 5. Saint Jude Thaddeus with a club. 6. Saint Philip with a Tau cross. 7. Saint Thomas with a spear. 8. Saint Paul with a sword and a book. 9. Saint John the Evangelist with a chalice. 10. Saint Simon with a saw. 11. Saint Bartholomew with a scroll. 12. Saint Barnabas with a knife and his flayed skin.

********* Josef Mánes (1820 – 1871) – Czech painter. Mánes Union of Fine Arts was created in his honour. The organization unified other notable Czech painters such as Mikoláš Aleš, Josef Čapek, Emil Filla, Josef Gočár, Max Švabinský or Jan Švankmajer.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 11** _

Although Tony thought that Klementinum wouldn't have interested him at all, he had to admit that he was impressed in the end. The current National Library of the Czech Republic had a great historic significance for development of liberal and natural arts, mainly mathematics and Tony's favorite astronomy. Moreover, it was also associated with weather recording that started in 1775 and continues up to this day.

He couldn't resist Ziva's excited face and explanation that she had just needed to see the famous Baroque Hall, including all the books stored inside. When she'd said that the building was a book heaven for bookworms and had tried to describe it to him, that it was like a dream video store, but for books, he couldn't have denied her anything. And he really wasn't disappointed since the visit had picked up the threads of her telling from earlier.

The former Jesuit college that used to include also library, printing room, pharmacy with laboratory, hospital and two chapels, offers three main spots of interest. Astronomical Tower with a height of 68 meters became the main spot for astronomical measurements in 18th century. The top of the tower is decorated by a statue of Atlas carrying a celestial sphere. Inside, Tony couldn't take his eyes of various astronomical, geophysical and meteorological instruments. Also, the view from the tower was majestic.

On the second floor of the tower, there is a Meridian Hall, previously used for determining noon. Ray of sunlight coming through a small hole up in the wall turned the room into a _camera obscura*._ High noon was determined by the light falling on a string stretched on the floor. From 1842 the noon determination was accompanied by waving of a flag from the tower, and from 1891 even by a shot from cannon. These signals were cancelled in 20th century. Two wall quadrants from early 18th century used for measuring of the angular distance between celestial objects and their height above the horizon, are firmly set into the walls.

Ziva, however, was mainly fascinated by the Baroque library hall. First opened in 1722, the library houses over 20,000 volumes of mostly foreign theological literature from 17th century until the recent times. Ceiling frescoes by Jan Hiebl depicting allegorical motifs of education, portraits of Jesuit Saints, patrons of the university and prominent representatives of Jesuit order are breathtaking. The portrait of Joseph II.** dominates the head of the hall. There is also a remarkable collection of geographical and astronomical globes in the centre of the library. In 1781 the collection of literature written in Czech language was established, giving the basis for the national library. Since then, Klementinum has been gathering copies of each book issued in Czech language.

She looked smitten when they left the premises. It was obvious that one of her long-time dreams had just been fulfilled. She took him by the hand and they started their way through the streets again, following the Royal Route. They fell in comfortable silence, just enjoying the beautiful sunny weather with occasional traces of snows from the last night. It was a perfect sightseeing tour.

She pointed out the memorial plague on one of the houses they passed by, knowing he would be interested in it. One of the astronomers they had heard about on their Klementinum tour was honored by the plaque – Johannes Kepler***. He awarded her with a kiss on her cheek, making her giggle. She was like a different person, yet the same one in the same time. And he enjoyed it, he had to admit that.

On the Charles Bridge, she began to hum the song one of the artists played there. The bridge was crowded again but they went slowly across, avoiding any possible crash. Internally, he was delighted for her and her good mood. Once in a while, he stopped her to kiss her passionately on her lips, never getting enough. The love for each other had completely seized them.

"Do you know that, according to the legends, eggs were added into the mortar while they were building this bridge?" She asked him.

"Eggs?" He replied incredulously with a question.

"Yes, eggs. It was believed that they would improve the firmness of the building material." She confirmed. "But the recent researches found out that it's not actually true. However, the mortar was mixed with milk and wine."

"Well, it seems to be working." He observed, appreciating the old stones they were walking on.

She nestled against him, holding his hand firmly. "Another legend claims that the construction began at 5:31 AM on July 9th 1357." She went on excitedly. "The first stone was laid by the Charles IV. himself. Since he was a strong believer in numerology, this specific time forming a numerical bridge**** was very important to him. It should imbue Charles Bridge with additional strength." Considering how many floods and other damaging events the bridge had survived, it had probably been really beneficial.

He looked over at her appreciatively, catching her smile widely at the whole world. His heart skipped a beat to see her like this. She was light-hearted, her wild curls glittering at the winter sun as her feet danced across the bridge, taking him with her. He couldn't help but smile at her vibrant behavior. It was such an exceptional and magical moment. He loved her even more for this.

"What?" She asked him with a grin when she caught him staring at her with nothing but love in his eyes.

"I don't think I've ever seen you so happy." He confessed. She was infecting him with the cheerful mood. Thanks to her, he felt better than he could even remember.

She stopped in her tracks, squeezing his hand to make him to turn to her. "It's thanks to you." She told him with a smile. "You caused it."

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she joined their lips together in a savory kiss. His chest swelled with pride as he was exploring the delicious corners of her mouth. She was hell of a woman to kiss, always moaning in the right moment to urge him to speed up or to slow down. The world seized to exist for a brief moment, devoid any meaning but love of two people who had lost what was dear to them, but managed to find it again.

She didn't keep the chuckle inside her throat when she heard his stomach grumble. "Oh my little cub, you're hungry." She noted as she caressed his face, feeling smugly about his swollen lips.

"In more ways than just one." He answered a bit hoarsely, since she took his breath away with the kiss, literally. His eyes drifted to the staircase where he'd hidden during their snowballing the previous night. All they had to do was to walk it down and they would be in a bed in no time.

She snickered at his words as he leaned against the bridge wall, making her to melt into his body and lay her body on his. "Well, considering that you will have whole night to sate the other hunger, I'm proposing to have a lunch in a nearby restaurant."

He rose them both up on their feet, intertwining their fingers. "You know the way to a man's heart, Miss David." He said with a smile, leaving the rest of the idiom 'through his stomach' in the air.

She returned him the smile, winking at him teasingly. "It's not that hard to guess in your case, Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. Your infamous appetite is known all over the world."

He refrained from saying that she would have to know Bishop to tease someone about their appetite, but he knew that he would have the chance to use this joke later. Instead, he took off for the restaurant she mentioned, because his stomach was really calling for some food. Sightseeing was nice and all, but he couldn't neglect his daily supply of dainties. This country's cuisine was too delicious to pass up.

They left the Charles Bridge behind them, walking through the street straight to another square. She didn't let him to go to McDonalds, although he was whining that he wanted to. Despite his protests, she dragged him on the other side of the street, forcing him to admire another memorial plague dedicated to Ema Destinnová*****. His interest was raised after she'd showed him that the woman was depicted on a Czech banknote in the value of 2,000 CZK.

Just a few steps away, there was a restaurant she led him into. _Malostranská beseda_ was a cozy pub in brown and beige colors, brimming over with life and beer. They were seated in one of the corners by a window. The waiter immediately offered them a draft beer which they accepted with pleasure. There was no point in drinking something else, after all.

Tony let her to choose the meal for both of them, knowing that she wanted to indulge him with her cultural choices, and knew what was best for his stomach. He watched as she quickly flipped through the menu, smiling at the waiter as he brought the two glass mugs of Pilsner Urquell beer. Her decision was made, that was clear. He could only wait what would be brought to him on the plate.

She ordered a traditional Czech dish called _svíčková******,_ which he understood was a roast beef in cream sauce, with cranberries and dumplings. Awesome, he couldn't wait to dig his fork into it. To silence his growling stomach, she took the slice of homemade bread and spread it with a herb butter, handing it over to him. He accepted gratefully and watched as she did the same to her own slice of bread.

Humming in pleasure over the combination of herb butter with the delicious bread, he saw as she reached into her bag and pulled out a little notebook. It made him wonder how many notebooks she actually had with herself at the moment, but knowing for a long time that secrets of women handbags were sacred, he didn't make any further inquiry.

She looked at him expectantly, though, as she found a blank page in the notebook and put her pen on it. "You're going to interrogate me?" He asked innocently, taking a mouthful gulp of his beer.

"No." She rolled her eyes at him. "I think that we should start planning my moving, so I want to draft some schedule." Then, she pursed her lips in a lascivious smirk. "Besides, the interrogation techniques I'd use in your case aren't practicable in public. They'd need more... private and intimate place."

She let the words hung in the air as she innocently took another slice of bread. He was so easy to tease sometimes. The only thing she needed was to throw him a decoy that was giving enough space for his fantasy to unleash. Then, she just watched as his eyes flared up with lustful darkness, infusing his mind with very nasty thoughts. It was obvious that he didn't care about what she would interrogate him about. The main thing was what ways she would use to make him talk.

"First of all, I should write an email to my student department to find out the way to transfer my courses." She began thoughtfully, pretending as if she'd never said those words before.

A bit grim mood dawned on her as she realized that most likely, she would have to ask for a favored help from an old friend of her father. The current Chairman of the Executive Committee of University of Haifa*******, the school she was studying, used to be a director of Shin Bet in the latter half of 1990s. He'd already done a few favored decisions to help her to study at the university out of the mutual acquaintance.

It wasn't his style and it wasn't likeable for her, either. But he stood security for her and she repaid his favor by being a studious student. She was sure that if she told him about her little problem, he would be open to help her. Especially if it was the last favor he would do for her. She didn't want to be regarded as a privileged child, but this seemed as a necessary action.

"And once I have the answers, we can schedule the rest." She continued after a short pause. "When we'll go to Israel, for example, because I have tons of things to arrange there. I need three days at least."

She felt the shift of the mood and his confused silence. "What?" She asked him, not quite comprehending why he was looking at her with such a bewildered expression.

" _We_?" He repeated the pronoun she had used in connection with a trip to Israel. "You want me to go to Israel with you?"

He wasn't scared, angry or negative about visiting her native country. He was just surprised that she willingly wanted him to go with her and help her arrange her moving back to the US. He'd been actually afraid that she would be opposed to such an idea. That was why he hadn't rushed any conversation about the near future, waiting for her move.

She snapped her notebook shut after she neatly wrote the first of her tasks down and looked at him with a sigh. "Based on your past experience, I guess you're not going to let me to go there on my own, are you?" His doubts stung in her heart, even though she knew that he had every right to have them.

He registered her slight annoyance and realized, that she only wanted to assure him that any second thoughts hadn't even crossed her mind. Although his statement had been the one of surprise, she felt aggrieved that he had thought she might want to exclude him out of the whole moving thing. "I-I'm sorry, I just..." He stuttered clumsily.

"You don't trust me." She stated emotionlessly, clasping her hands together as she put them on the table.

He blinked furiously, wondering how a simple remark of surprise could lead to this kind of conversation. Although, she was right – he didn't trust her. Not entirely. What was happening between them was just too good to be true and he waited for some obstacle to come to break her. It was the typical pattern of their relationship. No wonder he expected things to go downhill.

He opened his mouth in protest, though, but she cut him off. "It's okay, Tony." She assured him. "I actually wanted to suggest that we should also start working on trusting each other again."

Their mutual trust had been broken and she'd been to blame. He'd given her now a fantastic chance to start patching it up. She knew that it would be a long run and she should brace herself against his potential mistrust. But she was sure that their love was strong enough to establish the highest level of trust they both were capable of. Because their love was the cornerstone of their relationship.

"I agree." He agreed after a moment of hesitation. He'd pondered what to answer, but then he'd chosen to admit that he had trust issues when it came to her.

"Good." She smiled at him and squeezed his hand. "I know that I haven't given you many reasons to completely trust me. But I want to fix that."

Warmth spread through her body when he gratefully rubbed his thumb over her palm, looking amorously right into her eyes. "And I know it's not going to be easy." She continued bravely. "Because if I'm supposed to gain the trust of the others again, I need to gain yours first. So, I hope that the fact I already unconditionally trust you will help."

The mixture of confusion and surprise returned into his face once more. "What do you mean?" He didn't know that she trusted him _unconditionally_ and more importantly, since when.

At first, she answered with a chuckle, shaking her head at him. Looking at him closely, she realized that he really didn't have any idea about the level of her trust. "Tony, you're not the only one risking here." She told him in all seriousness. "Right now, I'm risking everything I've gained over the last two years. And I do it for you."

He blinked as the ice cold feeling settled in his stomach, occasionally sending signals through his veins across his body. He felt ashamed that he hadn't considered what she would be losing by moving back to DC. He'd only thought about what she would gain. He hadn't considered that she might be traumatized and rely fully on him. Now, he saw the extent of responsibility he had. And he certainly wasn't going to disappoint her.

"You don't have to be scared of any second thoughts I might have." She carried on calmly. "Because I trust you. I believe that you will break up with _her_ once we get back. I believe that I will manage to rekindle my relationship with others. I believe that we will make our relationship work."

He took her by her hands across the table, holding them firmly in his. Silently, he appreciated the faith she had in him. Her openness was taking his breath away. Whatever she'd been doing since her departure, she'd done it damn well. He knew that he would need a while to process the change in her, considering she'd always done the exact opposite, closing herself up in front of the whole world. But he was unimaginably happy that this change had happened.

"I don't want to be without you anymore. That's why I'm taking this risk." She said, her voice firmer than ever before. The confidence in her posture, the love in her eyes, the ever-so-soft smile gracing her features were undeniably proving her trust in him.

His self-control had always been very strong, especially when it came to her. He'd been in countless situations when he'd have to suppress his desires and feelings, not giving in to what his heart had wanted. At the moment, though, it dissipated with each second he was looking into her eyes. Leaning in, he captured her lips in an ardent kiss that made the other diners in their close surroundings blush.

He breathed out deeply as he released her lips, sitting back down from the uncomfortable position of half-sitting and half-standing, since he'd had to lean over the table to press that kiss of gratitude on her face. "That's an excellent base." He uttered, smiling as she fanned her reddened face due to the heat in her head and some other place she wouldn't like to mention in public.

"But I feel I have to apologize beforehand for any displays of mistrust towards you because..." He didn't finish his sentence as her finger on his lips shushed him effectively.

"Apologize accepted." She assured him. She was aware that it would be a long process and certainly not an easy one. She could allow him to have some weak moments and let him doubt her, while she would convince him about her loyalty.

He smiled against her finger and accepted with pleasure the food the waiter brought them. More pleasure settled in his stomach once he tasted the delicious meal and washed it down with the foamy beer. The rest of the lunch passed with a light talk about the moving without going deeper with certain stuff to avoid any possible clash about trust. Neither of them wanted to disrupt the good mood they were in.

Fully sated, they left the restaurant in a good spirit. The weather changed a bit though, with clouds looming over them, hiding the rays of the sun. Ziva didn't revise her plan to finish the Royal Route, however, and so they crossed the street and continued walking. They still had plenty of time before the concert in Spanish Synagogue was supposed to begin, and she wanted to utilize all the time they had.

Zealously, she leafed through her tour guide book, looking for information so she would be ready to inform him about interesting things. And so she didn't omit to inform him that right now, they were walking through an arcade that belonged to the buildings of Chamber of Deputies of Czech Parliament. And that even generally, they were entering a very significant part of Prague due to the location of executive bodies and several embassies.

When they entered the upper half of the _Malostranské náměstí,_ that was separated from the lower half by a complex of buildings that were part of Charles University, she turned left and led him to a church on the end of the square. The Baroque Church of Saint Nicholas is regarded as the most impressive example of Prague Baroque. Its architecture isn't the only reason to admire this Baroque gem, but also the decoration inside is breathtaking. Frescos, accompanied with sculptures, could compete with the famous ones all over the word. Also, the organ with over 4,000 pipes up to six meters in length was played by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart during his visit in Prague.

From there, they walked around the square until they reached the Holy Trinity Column in the middle. It was built as a form of gratitude after plague epidemic, which was brought to Prague due to the Great Northern War********, ended. Made out of sandstone, it reaches the height of twenty meters with Eye of Providence symbol on the top. The depiction of Holy Trinity follows – dove of Holy Spirit, Jesus Christ, and God the Father. Under them, there is a statute of Virgin Mary, the mother of Jesus, accompanied by statues of Czech patrons – Saint Adalbert of Prague, Saint John of Nepomuk, Saint Procopius of Sázava, Saint Ludmila of Bohemia and her grandson Saint Wenceslaus I., Duke of Bohemia.

Then, she pointed out the road bollards on the right that lined the pavement. They have a shape of a man's head and their number is 27. It didn't take long to Tony to understand the reference. He remembered those 27 crosses on the Old Town Square, considering the effect the story of those executed noblemen had had on him. These bollards were another way to honor those men.

Eventually, they continued through the street up they had gone earlier. There was still something to admire. The reliefs and decorations on the houses in the street were beautiful. Two buildings stood out in the street due to their architectonic styles – Morzin Palace, currently a location of Embassy of Romania, which façade features two columns in the shape of chained Moors, a pun on the name of the building and the dynasty who owned it. The second one was Thun-Hohenstein Palace with another gorgeous façade, featuring a doorway guarded by two carved eagles. The palace is occupied by Embassy of Italy.

They stopped again when they reached the settlement around the castle. She showed him a yellow house that is called _"U dvou slunců"_ , which could be translated as _"At two suns"_. And really, the relief on the façade depicted two suns. The house was dominated by a large memorial plaque of Jan Neruda*********, Czech writer and poet, who used to live in that house in his teenage years.

Tony was able to recall some poet named Pablo Neruda and wondered if they were related, but she disabused him of that immediately. She told him that Pablo Neruda was a pen name of the Chilean poet, who had chosen this name to cover his publications from his father, who didn't agree with his son's interest in writing. Supposedly, Pablo Neruda read some short story written by Jan Neruda and knew about the existence of his most famous work _Povídky Malostranské (Tales of Lesser Quarter),_ and that was probably the reason why he had chosen the surname _Neruda_ , thus to honor this Czech writer.

The narrow street led them still uphill, until the houses were on just right side, while the left side was bordered with a stone low wall and tree alley. It opened a majestic view on a large garden below. Considering it was winter, there wasn't much to see, only the ground covered with snow, rows of vineyards, bare trees and bushes. The view also included a wonderful sightseeing spot to observe The Lesser Quarter.

Around half-way through, they stopped to enjoy the view in the company of the other. Ziva was a bit concerned, though. The first half of their sightseeing tour had been without any problems and the enthusiasm had literally glowed from him. However, the second half seemed to bore him. He had responded to her observations and information, but weakly. She didn't want to fail in her tour-guiding role. And most of all, she didn't want to fail him.

His disjointed breath made her realize that something plagued him. At first, she had attributed it to the fact they were going uphill, but now she could also see that he was deeply lost in thoughts. The pensive wrinkle between his eyebrows was unmistakable. Which meant that the conversation during their lunch had brought something into his mind and he couldn't get rid of it.

"You're awfully quiet since we've left the restaurant." She noted calmly. She wanted to let him know that she knew when something was wrong with her Tony.

He let out a ragged sigh, his knuckles whitening as he clenched his fists. He should have known that she would notice his agitation. During the lunch, it had finally dawned on him that she really was coming back with him. However, he'd become aware that he'd kept certain things from her. Things he wanted to hide so she wouldn't know about them and suffer because of them. Because she didn't deserve to struggle with her past anymore. Her decision to return to DC was changing everything, though.

"Will you tell me what's wrong?" She asked him, keeping her voice still calm. Despite that, her increasing uncertainty was making her fidgety.

He closed his eyes and gulped loudly. He'd made the decision already. He was just gathering the courage at the moment. It might cost him this beautiful dream he'd been living, but she deserved to know. "Are you really sure you want to come back?" He turned to her, taking her by her hands. His voice trembled with fear that spread unpleasant ice-cold feeling through his body. Even the winter on the outside was more bearable than this paralyzing feeling.

She raised an eyebrow on him, unsuccessfully fighting with a disgusted expression. The deal about building the mutual trust didn't last very long, if he was worried that she might betray him already. "Look, I know that I accepted your apologize considering any future displays of mistrust, Tony." She began disgruntled, yanking her hands out of his. "But to start doubting me practically right after we agreed on building the trust between us again is too much. Even for me."

"No, no, no! This isn't about me doubting you, Ziva." He buried his head into his hands, hating how his words could come out so wrong sometimes. "This is about something you should know about. Because sooner or later, you would find out anyway."

She watched him for a second, trying to digest the reason of his distressed behavior. "Are you engaged to _her_?" She asked him bluntly. She realized that he'd been hiding something from her, but the fact that she wanted to return with him was changing the situation. He had to tell her the truth.

"No! I would never..." He exclaimed in horror as her eyes narrowed at him suspiciously. "I-I mean, I would. But not with her. With you..."

"What is it about?" She cut him off before he could get snared into his own commitment issues. It didn't pass unnoticed to her that he'd almost said he would never get engaged to anyone.

"Work." He replied with evident relief on his face, only to be replaced with a grim expression. "And you."

He could wait until they would be back on the US soil, chain her in his apartment and then reveal everything. To secure that she wouldn't run away from him immediately, plagued by her own guilt. But he really wanted to start his relationship with her with a clean shield. And that could be accomplished only through honesty. So, no matter she might change her mind about the whole moving thing, he felt it was his duty to tell her.

She leisurely leaned against the stone low wall, finally getting the answer as to why he'd refused to talk about work-related stuff yesterday. "Okay then, talk." She said, ready for everything. "Is it about Parsa?"

"No." He denied in a tone that hinted he wished he could have given a positive answer, instead of a negative one. "It's about an enemy that appeared after we took down Parsa."

She only nodded, remaining silent. She could see that he had problems with speaking clearly, putting the words together in his head in advance, so she wouldn't misunderstand anything. She had to show her patience, to give him the chance to express himself and not to jump to conclusions. Her curiosity was strong enough to successfully do so.

"It took us some time to discover what he was after and why he really went after us." He continued pensively after a moment of silence. "It turned out that he wanted a personal revenge on Gibbs because he thought that Gibbs killed someone close to him. And he chose quite a way to demonstrate his hate."

He shuddered as the memories shot through him, welcoming her surprising, warm touch. The way she squeezed his hand gave him a new surge of energy. "He psychologically tortured him and us first, copycatting the infamous deaths from Gibbs' life – Jenny's, Franks'..." he gulped the invisible lump in his throat before he continued shakily, "and I bet the bastard enjoyed the Kate's one the most."

It came out as a growling mutter, since he'd said that more to himself than to her. She blinked furiously, trying to get rid of the unpleasant feeling in her stomach that threatened to seize her. Now, she understood his uneasiness. Jenny's death had had quite an impact on both, and Frank's had been hard one to deal with, too. Being a witness of copycatting those deaths had had to be very disturbing. And the way Kate had died was just an awful reminder by whose hand she had been killed.

"Who were the casualties?" She asked carefully, wondering if her connection to this enemy might be through the victims. After all, she'd been bound to these deaths, in one way or the other.

His eyes found hers, and he saw that she genuinely felt sorry for all of them that they'd had to witness such a thing. "Mostly innocent people." He stated and it didn't make it any easier. Every life was sacred and didn't deserve to be taken for some revenge, in which those people had no direct share in. "And he killed Diane to recreate Kate's death."

His throat constricted at the end of the sentence, struggling with words. Watching her eyes widen in horror, he touched her shoulder comfortingly. Her mouth opened and then closed as she struggled to find words, too. The realization that he meant Diane Sterling, Gibbs' and Fornell's ex-wife, pierced through her body like a thunderbolt. Her heart was breaking at the cruel fate. It was never easy when it concerned the family and she considered Fornell as such.

"It was really hard for Fornell." He continued after he composed himself. "Not only because they have a daughter. But also because they were getting back together."

She desperately tried to hold the sobs inside her, not wanting to break down. A few silent tears found their way through the corner of her eyes, though, wetting her face. She sensed that he hesitated whether to give her a hug, and she was grateful for that he didn't. Because once he would embrace her, she would lose her composure immediately. He opted on wiping away the tears, a soothing gesture she loved him for even more.

Her mind was racing, though. Victims of this personal revenge weren't apparently the reason why she was connected to it. And Tony had stated that this case had something to do with her personally. Sure, she had known Diane and she was familiar with the copycatted deaths. But it didn't seem that they were the direct connection to her person.

"OK, this is terrible and all." She said shakily, after she'd gotten her emotions under the control again. "But I still don't understand what any of it has to do with me? Who did this?" She added, since the only connection she could think of was only through the perpetrator.

His face turned pale, knowing that the moment he feared the most had just arrived. There was no step back, because once he had started this conversation, he felt the duty to finish it. "It was a Russian mercenary named Sergei Mishnev." The words came out surprisingly steadily, although on the inside, he was trembling with dread.

She stared at him motionlessly for a while and then she blinked several times in confusion. "That name doesn't ring a bell at all to me." She confessed. She had expected some big name, someone she had known in the past. But this name was completely unfamiliar to her.

He couldn't help but chuckle in relief. "I suspected as much." He admitted, glad that it was proven that she hadn't known about the existence of this person. His relief waned, however, when he realized that she wasn't prepared for what she was about to find out. "However, there is some connection between you two."

"I-I don't understand. I don't have any Russians connections." She assumed a defensive posture. She knew, though, that the burden of her past was quite broad. "Sure, my father did, but that was all business, nothing harmful."

She couldn't imagine what might connect her to this Mishnev person. And despite the fact her father had kept some ties with Russia, it wasn't something NCIS would have to pay for. She couldn't find anything that would link her in such a way. Her quizzical gaze into Tony's face to find it out wasn't helping, either. He was looking at her with compassionate expression as if he waited when she would come to the knowledge he expected.

"And I know that Ari had some secret cont..." She suddenly remembered, but the words died on her lips as the realization hit her with a full force. _No, it couldn't be..._

It all fit together, though. The personal revenge was connected to her. The man had thought that Gibbs killed someone close to him. Tony had mentioned that Mishnev had probably enjoyed killing Diane the most, because it was the way Ari had killed Kate. And Ari was her half-brother who had died by her hand, although the whole world thought that it had been Gibbs who had ended Ari's terror. It would mean that Mishnev had been trying to avenge Ari's death. But on the wrong people because they hadn't been responsible for it.

She looked into Tony's tormented eyes and saw that her silent contemplations were the truth. The hunted look, the fear of her reaction – they were all there. She had hit the bull's eye. Her subconscious mind was refusing to accept it, though. She just didn't understand what Ari might have in common with the Russian mercenary. _Why would he have any interest in avenging his death?_

"Wait. Does it have anything to do with Ari?" The trembling sound that came out of her mouth, weaved with disbelief, didn't sound like her voice at all. She didn't even know why she'd asked for confirmation, when she'd seen from his reactions that whatever connection there had been, it had been about Ari.

If his complexion could turn even paler, it would. His heart was bleeding for her, hating it had to be him to reveal the painful truth to her. But he'd already shown his bravery by starting this conversation and he needed to finish it. For the sake of both. "Mishnev's relation to Ari is the same one as yours. He was his half-brother."

The deathly silence that settled in was deafening. He could hear her heart beating wildly as she tried to process the information, but without any single sign of breathing. Her stony expression was still plastered on her face, but he knew it would soon crumble. And he was ready to catch her and tell her all those necessary things she had to hear. Because she wasn't responsible for this mess.

"He was born in Israel." He continued to fill her in completely, before she would break. He couldn't stand the awkward silence. "His father took him back to Russia, leaving his mother behind. Apparently, he contacted Ari later and they became close."

She licked her lips to wet them, so she would be able to speak. "So, you want to tell me that those innocent people were killed because Mishnev thought that Gibbs killed Ari?" Again, it sounded as if it wasn't her voice at all. As if another person spoke through her.

"Yes." He confirmed grimly. He knew how it looked and that she would start immediately blaming herself. But he was determined to force her to hear his reasoning, even if she didn't want to listen.

The horror spread all over her face and with intensity he didn't expect. It was clear that she had been locking it inside her and now, it had scrambled up to surface. He had never seen such a look on her face. That terrified look of realization that some man had tried to seek revenge for a death of a close one, but on a wrong person. Because Gibbs hadn't killed her half-brother. She had.

"No." She whispered breathlessly, tears streaming down her face unstoppably. "Will. This. Ever. End?" She asked into the air, not expecting any answer as a few sobs started to rage through her.

It pained him to see her like this, so he closed the distance between them, without caring about her reaction. The shock she was experiencing was paralyzing, so she let him to embrace her and let her to feel the soothing warmth of his body. "I don't know." He confessed in all honesty. "But I swear I will do anything to prevent it from happening ever again."

"Stay away from me!" She pushed him away angrily, though the anger wasn't aimed at him. "Don't you see it's not enough? My past _always_ comes back and haunts me. _Always_."

" _Believing in progress does not mean believing that any progress has yet been made."_

The seed of pain she had planted years ago still kept spreading. She'd been naïve to think that by cutting herself off from her job, from people she loved, would stop the suffering. People still were hurting and dying because of her past actions. She could change her life, change her job and change the place she lived. She could believe that what she'd done was the best for everyone. But it really didn't mean that everything would solve on its own.

"Ziva..." He took a few steps to her, trying to reach for her and calm her down. But she stopped him by raising her hands in a defensive gesture, forbidding him to come any closer.

"And don't you try to tell me it's otherwise!" She hissed dangerously, lowering her voice a bit. He'd known well what kind of moment to choose to break this news to her. She couldn't yell like she wanted since they were in public place. Most of the tourists were down the street, but it didn't mean that, from time to time, some of them didn't pass by.

"Those people were killed because of me." She continued, completely agitated, her eyes wide as the guilt controlled her body and mind. "Gibbs didn't kill Ari, I did! His blood is on my hands."

He tried to reach for her again and wipe away her tears that were starting to freeze on the winter cold, but she avoided his attempt. So, he just stood there, letting her to express whatever she felt. It was good that she wasn't trying to suppress it. He wanted her to let it out because like that, he could reason with her and convince her to stop blaming herself for everything.

"As well as the blood of those innocents..." She whispered after a moment of silence, looking at her hands as if she expected all the blood to flow through her fingers. "I should be the one dead..."

That was the moment his patience with her ran out. He couldn't stand her to stop fighting and just give in to her fate, ready to die. That wasn't the Ziva he knew and loved. He took her by her arms, resisting her attempts to slip out of his firm grip. "Fine, now you'll listen to me."

She stopped trying to free herself, being too weak due to the shock that was paralyzing her. Instead, she looked up into his gentle, yet determined and stern eyes. It was clear that she would have to listen to anything he was about to say, and for some reason, she was willing to do so. She yearned for his warm words, for his assurances. She knew that she didn't deserve any of it, but her desires were too strong.

"First of all, you did the right thing. The man you killed was a monster." He said, because for him her half-brother was a malicious monster. "I don't care you loved him. He wasn't the Ari you knew anymore, and you know it. You wouldn't kill him if you didn't see by your own eyes what kind of monster he became."

Set of fresh, unpleasantly hot tears escaped through the corners of her eyes. As always, Tony was right. She hadn't believed, or hadn't wanted to believe, those rumors about Ari. However, hearing the truth had shaken her belief. And she had gone to NCIS with certain orders from her father. But nothing of those had stood behind her final decision to end the terror Ari had sown. All she had wanted was to save an innocent life and she had done so.

"If you didn't pull the trigger, Gibbs would be dead." He went on sternly, trying to control his own emotions. He wasn't too far away from kneeling down and begging her to forget about this conversation and continue in their trip. "And who knows – maybe we all would be. And with us dozens of others."

She had to use all her willpower to force the image out of her mind. She understood his point, but still, it didn't make her any less responsible for those innocent lives. "That doesn't lessen my guilt." She protested hoarsely and weakly. The fire that flared up in his eyes told her, that he thought she'd been utterly wrong.

" _Second_ of all," he spat, the suppressed anger getting better of him, "it was Gibbs' choice to let everyone believe that he killed Ari. He did it to protect you."

She grimaced hurtfully since he tightened his grip on her arms. She knew, though, that his anger was aimed at her half-brother and not her. "And my mistake was that I let him to do it." She raised another objection, knowing that she might piss him off even more. He couldn't deny it, though. It had been the truth.

"I don't think he gave you much choice." He retorted immediately. "He knew very well what kind of burden he was putting on his shoulders, Ziva. And he's never regretted it."

Ari's death was justified. Just because some madman had decided to avenge it years after, didn't mean that she had to blame herself for it. Gibbs knew about those risks that had gone with his decision. Yet, he'd never doubted if it had been right or wrong one. What had been done couldn't have been reversed. There was no option for her but to accept all the facts, and come to terms with them.

She ran out of arguments for the time being. Her head was spinning as the shock kept pulsating in her veins. Her mind was clouded with feelings of guilt, surprise, sadness and pain. She needed let it all sink. "I just..." she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "I just need a moment."

She sank down on a bench next to them, feeling her knees betraying her. As in the afterthought, she lifted her body a bit, sweeping away the snow from behind her but then again sitting down. Silently, he walked around the bench and sat down on the further corner next to her. Clasping his hands in front of him, he waited patiently for her to gather her thoughts and absorb the information.

There was a chaos in Ziva's head. Migraine took over with her temples pounding wildly. She couldn't believe that Ari had been in contact with his half-brother, about whose existence she had had no idea. She wondered whether her father knew, or if Ari had managed to hide it from him, too. Either way, the fact that no one had thought about this threat was appalling. If she had known, she would have done everything to eliminate it.

Her mind kept drifting off to the victims for whom she felt responsible the most, though. And especially certain FBI agent who'd been affected greatly. "How's Fornell doing?" She asked absent-mindedly, staring blankly in front of her.

"A lot better now." He answered truthfully. "I guess that taking down Mishnev with Gibbs helped him come to terms with Diane's death."

Her lips formed into a little, but grim smile. It was a cold comfort that Fornell had taken his own revenge, considering that he had lost a loved one. But she was still glad that it had ended this way. "He's started 'dating' again." Tony interrupted her train of thoughts, putting emphasis with the quotation marks with his fingers. She didn't know what it meant, but she guessed that the dating wasn't probably real or something. Important was the meaning that the FBI agent apparently had let it go and moved on.

"And as morbid as it may sound, every cloud has a silver lining. His relationship with Emily has never been better. They're closer than ever." He said, snuggling into his coat. As all the emotions dissipated from his body, the cold had ventured into his bones to show him what winter was capable of.

Her smile was a lot warmer this time. She was glad that both Fornell and his daughter had been able to let it go and develop a deeper bond as the mutual tragedy struck upon them. In her case, it had been the other way around. When her mother died, Eli had closed into himself even more and so had Ziva. No bonding, no grieving together. After all, Tali's death was no exception, either.

However, there was one thing she couldn't wrap her head around. Tony had been hesitant to reveal the name of the perpetrator, as if he expected that she might know his name. She'd also seen evident relief in his eyes when she'd told him that she'd had no idea who Mishnev had been. _If NCIS wasn't sure about her acquaintance with the Russian mercenary, did they try to reach her to obtain some information?_ Although she didn't know about his existence, she would have done everything that was in her powers to help them to stop him, once she had known about his desire to avenge Ari's death.

"Did you..." She cleared her throat since her voice was croaky. "Did you try to contact me?"

From the slightly accusatory tone, he digested that she was asking because they hadn't known if she'd had any important information by chance. And if they had contacted her, she would have helped despite not having any. Things weren't as they seemed, though. There were still details he yet had to reveal. With a deep sigh, he ran his hand through his hair and wet his lips to speak.

"No. I was strictly forbidden to do so." He admitted, although he'd been the advocate of contacting her. Not for information, but to warn her about the danger and ensure her safety.

She looked at him with a stern expression, demanding an explanation. "Gibbs and Vance thought that if we tried to reach you, it might draw Mishnev's attention to you." He gave her one. "It could have put you in danger, because he might wonder what we want from you and get to you before us."

With a slight nod of understanding, she turned her gaze back to the invisible spot in front of her. It didn't have any point to say that she would welcome more if they had let her know. She could have done _something_ to help, instead of finding about this dreadful and unhappy incident months later. When it had been all too late to stop this nonsensical revenge and save the lives of innocent people.

"Besides, we found out about his relation to Ari when it was almost over." He added another clarification. "Russians didn't want share much information, so we had to use different channels."

She uttered a deep sigh as the realization hit her. All those innocent victims of this bloodshed had been dead before the motive had been even known. She suddenly remembered that Tony had mentioned that this discovery had taken them some time. Even if they had involved her in stopping Mishnev, there would have been nothing she could do to prevent the murders from happening.

"But as far as I know, Vance alerted Orli to keep a closer eye on you just in case." He stated, playing with his hands nervously.

He'd been terrified to death when he'd learnt about the motive, though he hadn't showed it. Both Gibbs and Vance had anticipated his urge to assure himself about Ziva's safety, though. So, Vance had taken measures to stop him from doing something stupid with Gibbs' advice and approval, together with arranging an appropriate supervision. Since NCIS couldn't have managed to do that due to protect her, Mossad had been the only choice.

He sighed deeply, too, trying to expel those grim thoughts out of his mind. "You don't even know how many nightmares it gave me..." He whispered shyly. Even weeks after Mishnev's death he'd woken up all in sweat with bloody visions in front of his eyes, full of what could have happened if the bastard had gone after Ziva.

She chuckled in irony because she _knew_. Every single mention of NCIS, or any criminal activity in NCIS jurisdiction in the news had awaked unpleasant fear that was embedded deep inside her, and that projected into her dreams. It wasn't just her sense for protection of her colleagues, but also the great love she felt for every single member of the team. And particularly for a certain man.

Her gaze was still hollow as she was trying to come with terms with the information she'd been given. The emotions inside her had started a little war to fight over which one would prevail and seize her. She didn't know whether to scream in agony, cry in pain, do both in anger or just stay silent. She would love to do to everything at once but it was humanly impossible.

He observed her for a few seconds, seeing that she was just an unstable mess, ready to blow up. "You couldn't have known, Ziva. No one could." He tried to find some calming words. He had no doubts that to deal with it wasn't easy. But she had no other choice.

That was when she lost it. Her sobs were quiet at first. But when she sniffed loudly and hunched up into tiny ball, he couldn't do anything else but to draw himself closer to her and envelop her into his arms. She snuggled against him, finding the much needed support in his body. Gluing to his chest, she hid her face in the crook of his neck, letting the tears fall down without any embarrassment.

He kept whispering soothing words right into her ear, being the firm rock she needed. He was proud of her so much. Once again, she'd showed she was a human and let the emotions out, instead of locking them up. A few passersby had offered him help, wondering what was with the crying woman. He thanked them with a wave of his hand, assuring them this way that he had the situation under control.

He didn't know for how long they sat in the embrace as the emotions raged through her. He just softly lulled her, rocking her body gently in slow and repetitive motions, while he caressed her hair. And she seemed to be fond of it. Although the crying had stopped, she stayed in their position, breathing in his comforting smell. After all, he'd been her home and his hug was like a safe house. With white picket fence, adorable dog and couple of kids running around the garden.

After a while, she lifted her teary face to him. "Would you tell me if I didn't choose to come back with you?" She asked him hoarsely. She had her suspicions about him telling her the truth if she returned to Israel, instead of being with him.

"No. I wanted to spare you this." He confirmed with a nod as he wiped away the wetness from her face. He wanted to kiss her so much right now, but knew that she had no mood for it.

She blinked in acknowledgment, hiding her face back into the crook of his neck to think about her next words. "I really appreciate your bravery." She then said, looking at him again. "It had to take you a lot of convincing to tell me." The unspoken words between the lines of this statement showed that they both knew what meaning those words had. They both remembered the two-year old past between them.

"I won't lie, it did." He agreed, tracing his fingers across her face. "I still remember the cost of our last conversation about Ari."

She closed her eyes for a moment to hide the regret in her eyes. He'd lost her that day, because she had decided to cut off her past and with it all the people that belonged to it. The cost was even greater since he hadn't been losing only his colleague, partner and friend. He had lost a woman he loved. And she's suffered the same loss. The more she appreciated that he'd been honest with her and hadn't hesitated to risk it again.

"But it must have been done." He explained matter-of-factly, despite the fear that had seized his heart. He knew what kind of risk he'd been taking, including her refusal to return to DC with him. And he yet had to wait for her decision in this matter. It could change due to new facts, after all.

She opened her eyes, and looked into his green ones that shone with an undying love. "Thank you." She said, her hands leaving his waist where they were clasped since he'd hugged her, as she shifted them on his chest.

He understood her silent demand and leaned in to capture her lips. The kiss was sweet and passionate as she poured her gratitude into it, while he couldn't stop the nagging feeling that this might be one of the last kisses he would ever give her. He didn't want to accuse her of trying to run away, once again. Although that was his premonition. He rather savored what he had now.

"Can I ask for something?" She asked when they parted. The kiss had made her feel a lot better, filling her body with a new confidence and peace.

A hint of fear flickered across his eyes, but he was able to suppress it. "Sure." He agreed instead, forcing a smile into his face. He expected some disastrous request, to be honest. But he wanted to take it bravely.

"When we return to D.C., could you arrange a meeting with Fornell and Emily for me?" She requested, apparently taking his breath away. His next reaction was surprising for her.

He grabbed her by her head, searching her eyes for something. But for what, she didn't know. Then his pupils finally focused on her, looking into her quizzical face. "So, you didn't change your mind? You still want to come back with me?" He asked her almost incredulously. He couldn't believe that his risk had paid off. He'd told her what was necessary and yet, she didn't want to abandon him.

She wrapped her hands around his neck with a mild chuckle. "Of course I still want to." She replied, playing with the hair on the nape of his neck. "None of that changed my love for you, Tony. And I still can't imagine being without you."

He smiled at her with his thousand-watt grin. Not only for that he didn't lose the love of his life once more. But mostly because she wasn't afraid anymore to admit her feelings aloud. He slipped his hands out of her face, winding her hair around his fingers lovingly. He felt strange and unfamiliar wave of pride washing over him. He anticipated her reasons for wanting to meet with the FBI agent and his daughter.

When he remained silent, she started to explain her request. "I just want to do the right thing. To claim the responsibility for what happened." She said thoughtfully. "Apparently, I chose a wrong way to deal with my past, although it's been beneficial in certain points."

Her gaze focused on some invisible point in the distance behind his head. "But running away isn't going to solve anything." She continued after a moment of silence. "I'm ready to face Fornells and the families of those victims. I'm ready to accept my punishment."

She was now certain that her deeds might be forgiven only if she stopped avoiding her responsibility. She knew that there would be a lot of pain, sadness, anger and even hate involved. But she was willing to go through this hell to come out clean, and be finally free of the burden on her shoulders. After all, she had her firm rock beside her. Man who loved her unconditionally, and who was capable of doing anything in the world to support her.

He gently squeezed her hands, making her to look at him. "If that's what you want, I'll gladly do what you asked." He told her. She needed to do it to find the inner strength to forgive herself. He knew that it wouldn't backfire at her, since Fornell had been acquainted with all the history. And not even once he blamed it on Ziva.

"Thank you." She expressed her thanks gratefully with a smile. Her lips on his in the next second only underlined the amount of her gratitude for that she could have him.

_**The End of Chapter 11** _

* * *

* Camera obscura (dark room) – an optical device, the predecessor of today's photographic camera.

** Joseph II., Holy Roman Emperor (1741 – 1790) – as well as King of Bohemia, Germany, Hungary and Croatia and Archduke of Austria, simply the ruler of Habsburg lands, the eldest son of Empress Maria Theresia, and brother of Marie Antoinette. He is known for issuing the Patent of Tolerance in 1781 (it provided limited religious freedom) and abolishing serfdom in 1781.

*** Johannes Kepler (1571 – 1630) – German mathematician, astronomer and astrologer, the assistant of previously mentioned Tycho Brahe. He served in Prague at the court of the Emperor Rudolf II. He is most known for his laws of planetary motion that provided one of the foundations of Isaac Newton's theory of universal gravitation.

**** July 9th 1357, 5:31 AM – numerical bridge is created by 1357/9/7 5:31 – sequence of odd numbers from 1 to 9 and back to 1

***** Ema Destinnová (1878 – 1930) – also known as Emmy Destinn, Czech opera singer (soprano). Her career was connected mainly to Berlin Court Opera (Cavalleria rusticana, Salome) and Metropolitan Opera in New York (Aida, The Bartered Bride, La fanciulla del West).

****** Svíčková na smetaně – Beef sirloin in cream sauce. It's sirloin prepared with vegetables (carrots, parsley root, celeriac and onion), spiced with black pepper, allspice and bay leaf, boiled with double cream. It's served with bread dumplings and sauce made out of this marinade and sour cream, usually with a cranberry sauce.

******* Ami Ayalon (1945) – former commander-in-chief Navy, former Minister without Portfolio (2007 – 2008), recipient of the Medal of Valour (highest Israeli military decoration)

******** Great Northern War (1700 – 1721) – conflict between coalitions of Tsardom of Russia, Denmark, Norway and Saxony-Poland against Swedish Empire, initially supported by Ottoman Empire. When Charles XXII., King of Sweden claimed the throne, the coalition attacked Sweden, sensing that it was led by young and inexperienced king. Despite Sweden's loss in the war, Charles proved that he was, in fact, skilled military leader and tactician. During the war, a plague spread most probably through Constantinople (today's Istanbul, largest city in Turkey) to the Baltic and Eastern/Central Europe. It affected also areas that weren't involved in the war, such as Bohemia, including Prague.

********* Jan Neruda (1834 – 1891) – one of the most appreciated Czech writers. He promoted the idea of rebirth of Czech patriotism, participating in all central cultural and political struggles of his generation. He was known for his satirical depiction of petty bourgeois of Prague, but also his unabashed anti-Semite opinions. His most popular work is _Povídky malostranské (Tales of Lesser Quarter)_ that has been translated to English. Neruda takes the reader to the Lesser Quarter and shows the everyday life of its streets and yards, inhabitants, shops, churches, houses and restaurants.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 12** _

Tony watched the love of his life sitting opposite to him on the bench, feeling content. He knew that he was nowhere near the happily after cliché, though. He was also aware that it would take Ziva a while to process the revelation definitely. But he'd just made a very important and difficult step. His bravery had paid off and it was obvious that she'd appreciated it like nothing else.

It was time to carry on in their journey, though. Over the last few minutes, the freezing cold had settled in, crawling under his coat and biting his skin. It seemed that another snowfall might be next option of today's weather. And he honestly didn't know how long this sightseeing tour was. He sensed that they were nearing the end, since the Royal Route headed towards Prague Castle that was right above them. But he was also sure it would be the place where she wanted to explore every single corner.

"Ready to go on?" He asked her, caressing her cheek with the back of his fingers.

"I think I am." She nodded in response. The cold was starting to be unpleasant. She only hoped that the shock she'd experienced stopped paralyzing her body.

He stood up from the bench and held his hand out to her. She accepted it and let him to pull her on her feet. She was still perceptibly weak in her knees, immediately seeking the support in his body. He had no objections whatsoever, holding her for a while before he offered her his arm. And so, side by side, they continued walking the street up admiring the garden below them.

Her confidence was returning back slowly by each step and when they reached the top of the hill with a square, her professional tour-guide attitude took over. She pulled out her book and studied it for a minute to get familiar with their surroundings. Then, she informed him that they were standing at a former marketplace that had been documented as early as eleventh century. Its name _Pohořelec_ is derived from frequent fires in the area.

Turning right, they entered another street leading to a large square with a majestic baroque palace. As he was promptly informed, Czech Ministry of Foreign Affairs has a seat there. The building had an important political history, being the seat of Reichsprotektor during the Nazi occupation of Czech lands, a witness of Warsaw Pact (*1) dissolution and still unclear death of one of the Foreign Ministers of the Czechoslovakia, Jan Masaryk. (*2)

Ziva remembered the name of the minister and didn't omit to inform Tony about it. His signature was on one of the contracts that ensured arms shipment from Czechoslovakia to Israeli forces in First Arab-Israeli War in 1948. This shipment, being provided in spite of UN resolution that forbade such an aid, had proven to be very important for establishment of the state of Israel.

He was surprised by the information, not knowing that relations between these two countries were so strong. So, she explained to him that Czechoslovakia had been one of the first countries to recognize the State of Israel and that diplomatic relations had been established soon after. And although the Communist rule had disrupted these relations, they had been established again after the Velvet Revolution in 1989. Since then, Czech Republic and Israel had supported each other on numerous occasions. (*3)

He took a notice of the strange gleam in her eyes whenever she mentioned Israel. Although her liaison days in NCIS, where she later became an agent and even a holder of US citizenship, had made her feel as a naturalized American, she had wished to keep her Israeli roots close to her heart. The more she'd been away, though, the more it'd been hard for her to stay identified with the nation of her origin.

So, maybe cutting off her past to prevent spreading more pain inflicted by her hadn't been the actual right choice. But it had been beneficial when it came to finding herself. She'd finally had enough time to explore, travel and learn. She'd been thought to love her country and fight for it till the last breath. But it couldn't match the joy she felt now whenever she had a chance to talk about anything related to her home country.

By the time of her story-telling, she headed towards statue of some man in front of the palace. Citing her tour-guide book, she continued in her commentary and introduced him to another Czech politician named Edvard Beneš. (*4) He was one of the founders of independent Czechoslovak state and very important figure of Czech politics. The statue depicted the mentioned man standing leisurely with his hands clasped, holding a book.

Then, they took the street below the statue as she determinedly walked towards a building with a tower. And it was another impressive baroque work. The white walls with golden yellow ornaments and typically greenish tower roof, accompanied by a set of numerous statutes, created an architectonic heaven. There was no doubt that she wanted to go inside and he suddenly wanted, too.

The building held the name _Loreta_ due to the Loreto Chapel inside the compound that was a copy of the _Santa Casa_ (Holy House) in Italian town of Loreta (*5). They entered and paid the entrance fee, because Ziva wanted to see the current exhibition that was on the first floor. The interior was breathtaking as in practically every building they had entered. He didn't regret visiting this place.

The exhibition was called _The Hidden Face of the Loreto Treasure_ and it displayed one of the largest and most valuable Church treasures in the Czech Republic. The treasure consists mostly of works from 16th to 19th century. And so they admired various miniature ivory objects, bowls made of gemstones, baroque and renaissance jewels and medallions.

They were mostly amazed by the Crown of miraculous statue of Our Lady of Loreto, Home Altar from Augsburg and Diamond Monstrance, sometimes called 'Prague Sun'. It was beautiful goldsmith's masterpiece decorated with over 6,000 diamonds. A Gilded Chalice from 16th century also caught their interest, making Tony to nickname it 'sangreal' despite Ziva's protests that this chalice certainly wasn't a Holy Grail.

Teasing each other, they left the premises where they had spent a little over an hour and returned back to the baroque palace. He didn't want to give up on his Holy Grail nickname for the gilded chalice they had just seen. His desire to goad her faded away, though, once she suggested that if he had such an interest in Arthurian legend, their next historic trip could be to Great Britain to follow the footsteps of King Arthur.

Not that he didn't enjoy Arthurian legend, but the vision of them travelling all over Great Britain, leaving no stone unturned as they visited every single place tied to King Arthur was too much for him. Slowly, he abandoned the subject before she could commit him to such a voyage. Rather, he returned to one of the topics they had started but not quite finished it – their trip to Israel.

She readily changed the subject with him and started to name individually what she had to do once they arrived to Israel. Visit of her school was ultimately necessary, not to mention that she wanted show him around the campus. Then, she needed to sort out her legal stuff with her lawyer since her inheritance after her father had included a few real estates and other high-valued movable assets. She needed to someone to supervise all of her property in Israel and move the stuff she wanted to take with her to DC.

Since she wasn't living alone but had a roommate, a fellow student (not that she couldn't afford to live alone, but she was tired of being completely alone), she had to talk to her and inform her about her moving to DC. There was also the not-so-pleasant duty to meet with Orli and let know Mossad about her next whereabouts. She doubted that they would let them to leave Israel without any explanation. They observed her steps too closely for that.

He agreed with her, actually having his suspicions that their meeting with Orli would be the first thing they would do after landing on Israeli soil. After all, that was what had happened to him the last time. He was sure that his name was red-flagged or something for Mossad purposes, so they would know about his presence in Israel. He also knew, though, that Orli would be only pleased with the reason of his visit.

"Do you have in plan to visit someone in particular?" He asked as they walked down the street, getting closer to Prague Castle itself. His tone was casual, yet she'd caught the hint of a deeper inquiry. It seemed that he particularly thought of a certain name.

"Like Shmeil for example." He added quickly as if he changed his mind about asking her about the person he'd apparently thought about.

She hid her suspicious look for the time being, because it was more fun that way. Although she hated it sometimes, his jealousy could be adorable. Especially when it wasn't substantiated. "He's not in Tel Aviv at the moment." She answered with a mysterious smile. "But I'll leave him a message and tell him to visit us in DC once he has the time."

He nodded in acknowledgement, lingering his gaze on the surrounding buildings. "Anyone else?" He asked innocently, purposely avoiding her eyes.

She had to chuckle. He'd already asked her about men in her life and she had told him the truth. Yet, he kept questioning her. "Will you tell me who do you have in mind and spare us these games?" She cut off this cat and mouse game. She knew what name he was insinuating.

"Adam Eshel." He fired before he could stop himself. But it was out, he couldn't take it back.

She didn't deny anything at first, but didn't confirm, either. She just thoughtfully rubbed her chin, pondering her answer as she tapped her forefinger against her lips. "Well, I could actually go on that intimate dinner he invited me a few weeks ago..." She said, hiding masterfully her amused expression.

He took her by the elbow, turning her to him sharply. "You would?!" He asked her unbelievingly. The fiery feeling deep inside his chest started to burn with an intense flame. Suddenly, he saw red.

"Why not?" She batted her eyelashes on him innocently, revealing her wicked smile. The fun was just too great to pass it up.

He didn't feel the cold winter anymore. The flame inside him warmed him enough to make his blood boil. Only the thought, the bare vision of her having some 'intimate dinner' with the Shin Bet officer was making him sick. He could have expected that they had been still in contact. Apparently, cutting off her past hadn't included stop meeting with certain people.

"I don't know. Maybe because you're mine now?" He spat angrily. The tone of his voice was almost vicious, the venom dripping from every single word. He didn't care he sounded possessive, because he _was_ possessive of what rightfully belonged to him. And she was his girlfriend now.

The laughter shook her body in waves. She wasn't able to keep a straight face anymore. "Oh God, you're sometimes so easy, Tony."

She saw that he was really pissed and that her desire to tease him had been maybe too much. But she couldn't help herself. He could only blame himself for his indiscreet and nosey character. She hadn't had to make any hard efforts to get him caught in his own trap. His wild imagination had done all the work for her. So, there was nothing she should feel sorry for.

"I haven't seen him in months, okay?" She assured him kindly. "As far as I know, he's in Belgium at the moment. And I know that just because I met him at the airport."

She freed her arm out of his grip and patted his chest soothingly. "So, stop being so jealous."

He released a deep sigh of relief. He didn't like the fact she played him like a fiddle. But he had to admit that he'd become the victim of his own jealousy. And she'd been subject of it so many times, that she already knew how to handle him and give him a lesson in the same time. Nevertheless, he was glad that she'd been just teasing him and there hadn't been a shred of truth in her claims.

Something started to bother him, though. Despite the relatively cruel way of teasing him, she'd been honest with him. While he still had one secret remaining. And he had zero idea how to approach the subject. There was just the great desire to unburden his chest and tell her. And he knew, once again, that sooner or later she would find out anyway. Luckily, revealing the secret didn't mean risking changing her mind about the moving to DC.

"I've met Jeanne." He blurted out without thinking. He didn't have any further comments prepared. It'd just slipped out his mouth.

She blinked rapidly in surprise. She certainly hadn't been expecting _that_. Judging by the face he was giving her, he'd surprised himself, too. "Oh..." She said to offer some reaction. "How? When?"

"A few weeks ago." He answered, his shoulders slumping as if the guilt still troubled him. "Burley asked us to help him find two missing International Doctors Group docs who survived an attack in South Sudan, since one of them was Navy. The other one was Dr. David Woods. Jeanne's husband."

She didn't even blink at the pleasing information about relationship status of Jeanne Benoit. Internally, she felt relieved as the words _'she is married'_ kept projecting inside her head. Whatever reason he'd had to tell her about this, it most likely hadn't meant that his reunion with the mentioned woman had been of a romantic nature. The uneasiness in her chest still dominated, though.

"It must have been pretty awkward to meet her." She commented, trying to be supportive by taking his hand into hers, playing with their fingers. He looked so crestfallen. Her heart could barely take it.

He smiled faintly, watching as their fingers touched. "It was." He agreed. "She didn't trust me. Not that I blame her."

They all knew that Jeanne had a reason to be mistrustful. The feeling of guilt had been embedded deep inside his soul, always showing up in the worst moments of his life. If he had been heartless, it would have been easier for him to deal with what had happened. Mainly because he wouldn't have fallen for the woman he'd been deceiving since the first moment they had met. But there was nothing he could do to change the past.

Her soothing gestures helped him to find his voice again. "In the end she, McGee and I went to Sudan to rescue her husband." He continued, looking down on the ground. "She thanked me afterwards. Not that I did that to change her mind about me."

It was his job. Solving crimes, saving people, helping the mankind. Maybe, a certain part of him had wanted to show Jeanne that doing his job was all he had always done. That he hadn't meant to hurt her, although he'd known he would. Just as she took her job seriously, he did the same. But he also didn't blame her for not wanting to understand. He would have probably done the same if he had been in her shoes.

She could see how it had shaken his world. She couldn't imagine what kind of shock he had had to experience due to such unexpected meeting. "This must have been really hard for you." She said, her second hand reaching for his shoulder to squeeze it.

He answered with another faint smile, glad that she listened to him and didn't jump to any conclusions. All he saw in her eyes was sympathy, not even a hint of jealousy. Little did he know that on the inside, Ziva was boiling but had chosen a different approach to get out the important stuff from him. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction in showing her jealousy so blatantly.

Because there was still something bugging her. He'd mentioned that it had happened a few weeks ago which meant that it was quite fresh. Yet, he hadn't given the slightest intimation about it so far. All he'd been talking about, considering his mental state, were Gibbs, Zoe and relationship with his co-workers. So, there had to be some reason for that. And she dreaded what kind of reason it was.

"How come that you didn't mention it earlier?" She asked directly, hoping she had nothing to lose. "You've talked mostly about Gibbs. And this had to leave its marks on you." There wasn't a possibility that it hadn't influenced his life in any way. Maybe even his relationship with Zoe had gotten worse because of that.

He chuckled bitterly as he wetted his lips. "Because, as painful as it was, it was a good thing to happen, you know?" He mused. His problems with Gibbs overshadowed every single nice thing that had happened, though. This had given him some sort of relief but it hadn't lasted long. "It helped me to finally sort out my feelings. And come to terms with what happened. With what I did to her, what I did myself."

"And what did you find out?" She asked him, unsuccessfully hiding the tremble in her voice. She didn't like the part about feelings. He'd confessed his love for her but another woman could still be in his heart, as well.

"That my feelings for her are gone. After all, a lot happened since then." He took her by her chin, staring into her eyes. "And all that's left is guilt." He noticed that the green-eyed monster eventually took over her. He wanted to assure her that he was really sure about his feelings and that he hadn't fooled her.

Her cheeks reddened and because he was touching her face, he could clearly digest that it had nothing to with the cold. She felt embarrassed for her jealousy because she realized that the line about _'a lot of happening since then'_ had been meant for her. Because since then, he'd fallen for her. Their relationship had deepened and had recently reached fruition.

"It was a closure. That wound was opened for far too long." He told her as to why he considered this event in his life as not-so-bad one. "I'm happy for her, for that she moved on. And as McGee said – I should be happy for myself, too. I don't have to carry around all the guilt anymore."

She lifted her hand and raked his hair to sign him that she agreed with McGee. He'd suffered enough and anyone who knew him appreciated him for who he was. He'd never intended to hurt anyone. He had a heart of gold. The more she felt bad again for how many times he'd suffered because of her. But that was about to change because she had in mind to redeem herself and never let go of him.

"You know I love only you, right?" He asked her, wanting to dispel her fears that he might ever return to Jeanne, or leave her for another woman. He'd done it, after all. It hadn't worked.

She smiled at him sweetly, wrapping both her arms around his neck. "You better." She said as she stood up on her toes and kissed him fiercely to respond to his love confession, and shut up the green-eyed monster inside her head.

He smiled into the kiss, so glad that another weight had stopped burdening his chest. She felt like a sweet heaven, seeking the comfort in his body to soothe the shock she had experienced and to comfort him, too. She was far more talkative and amiable than she'd ever been before. Partially, it was the change she'd gone through, partially it was the love she'd let inside her heart and seized her being.

Battening her eyelashes on him when they parted, she tousled his hair playfully. "Are there any other skeletons in your closet?" She asked him. She wanted to avoid another unpleasant surprise.

"I think I'm done." He chuckled briefly, taking her hand as they carried on walking down the street. "But what about you? No plans to visit Deena?" He didn't want to prod, but he was curious whether the two childhood friends had found the way back to each other.

"No." Ziva answered simply, not hiding the bitterness in her voice. "I don't think she'd be happy to see me."

"Have you tried to reconcile with her?" He asked, although according to the bitter tone she'd been using, he guessed she had. And her attempt hadn't been successful.

With a sigh, she raked her hair to calm herself down. "I have. I wrote her a letter in which I explained everything to her." She replied. "I know she read it and I know she tore it into pieces."

"I'm sorry." He offered his sympathy, squeezing her hand tightly. It was never easy to lose a dear friend.

"Thank you." She looked at him with gratefulness in her face. "I accepted it already. She obviously doesn't want to listen, so there's nothing more I can do."

He embraced her while still walking, pressing her shortly to his body as a gesture of comfort. She loved these little, maybe meaningless for some, displays of affection and comfort. It showed her how much he actually loved her, how observant he was to her feelings and emotions. He was a very sensitive and attentive man, although he'd probably never admitted it aloud.

As they went by Tuscany Palace, another palace-like Baroque building, they entered a large square with Prague Castle right in front of them. They looked around the square and the interesting buildings and structures that stood there. They noticed another Holy Trinity Column, or Marian Column to be precise since this one was dedicated to Virgin Mary. It was built there for the same reason as the Holy Trinity Column they had seen before.

Specifically, though, they were more interested in the Schwarzenberg Palace that stood opposite the column. The monumental Renaissance building dominated the square with its appearance. Facades of the palace were richly decorated with sgraffito design and the whole architecture of the building took their breath away. It was a pleasant change from the majestic baroque style that was impressive in the same way, nevertheless.

The palace held the name of their former owners, the Schwarzenbergs, an aristocratic family that was founded in 12th century and that still exists. Nowadays, it was served as a permanent exhibition of Nationally Gallery, displaying the collection of Renaissance, Mannerism and Baroque art in the Czech lands. If they had the time, they would surely visit it. However, the castle was their main destination.

Before that, they couldn't but to admire another building across the square. Mostly Baroque Archbishop's Palace with Renaissance and Rococo elements is a seat of Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Prague. The diocese was established in 973 and was elevated to archdiocese in 14th century. The first archbishop of Prague was Arnošt of Pardubice, also an advisor and diplomat to no one else but Charles IV. The significance of this institution decreased greatly in recent times, but it still has its place among the Czech culture and history.

On the corner of the square, opposite the Archbishop's palace, there was a statue of another significant politician of the Czech lands. Tomáš Garrigue Masaryk (*6), the first President of Czechoslovakia, is symbol of democracy for Czech people. He was an outspoken rationalist and humanist. His thoughts and opinions are highly regarded up to this day and he is highly valued for his efforts and deeds.

Tony smiled widely at Ziva as she was reading the information from her tour guide book. She role-played it for him, putting emphasis on every word in her speech while gesturing towards the statue. She truly _was_ an amazing tour guide. One wouldn't wonder if she became one eventually. He could imagine her guiding visitors around monuments in Washington DC.

Before he could tell her about his little idea, she led him in front of the entrance of Prague Castle, flooding him with new information. It was a castle complex, the seat of Czech dukes and kings, now the seat of the President of the Czech Republic. According to the Guinness Book of World Records, it is the largest ancient castle in the world, occupying area of over 70,000 square meters.

The castle buildings represent virtually every architectural style of the last millennium from Romanesque to Gothic, from Renaissance to Baroque and up to the Revivalism. It's a symbol of City of Prague and Czech statehood. Strategically, it's a significant place on the top of the hill, separated by _Jelenní příkop_ (Stag Moat) and surrounded with a wall. Also, it was originally an ancient fortified settlement that was established in 9th century.

The construction was initiated by Spytinhěv I., Duke of Bohemia (*7). Each of the following rulers reconstructed the standing buildings and built new ones. The greatest expansions of the castle happened during the times of the most important rulers. Ottokar II. of Bohemia (*8) converted the ancient fortified settlement to medieval castle to adjust it for royal representation and permanent living.

Charles IV. contributed to the visual appearance of the castle by conversation of Basilica of Saint Vitus to Cathedral of Saint Vitus which became the prominent feature of the castle. It's the most visible building of all while admiring the panorama of Prague Castle, towering above everything else and dominating the city's skyline. He also invested into the reconstruction of the whole castle since it was completely devastated and hardly inhabitable.

The largest secular space without inner column of Medieval Europe called Vladislav Hall was built by the king Vladislaus II. of Hungary. (*9) It used to serve as the place for coronation feasts of Bohemian rulers and even the jousting tournaments. The Knight's Stairway wide enough was built to accommodate horses to facilitate such an event. Today, it's used for representation assemblies during national holiday and official meetings.

The grounds of the Prague Castle underwent a huge change during the reign of Ferdinand I. (*10) The Royal Garden of Prague Castle in Renaissance style was created instead of ancient vineyards. One of the main attractions is Queen Anne's Summer Palace, Renaissance building from 16th century that was built in the honor of the Ferdinand's wife whom he loved deeply.

Generally, the premises of Prague Castle underwent necessary reconstruction due to a large fire in 1541, which is counted as the most destructive fire in Prague up to this day. The damaged buildings were in need of restoration. Also, Prague's aristocracy started to build their palaces near the castle to revive the area. Those palaces are now part of the whole castle complex.

One of the most memorable rulers, Rudolf II., chose Prague Castle as his main residence. This decision influenced greatly the construction works on the castle. Courtyards were built, together with adjacent buildings which formed the premises to the way they are known now. Among them belongs for example Picture Gallery of Prague Castle that includes the oldest existing picture collection in the country, and Spanish Hall which serves nowadays as a ceremonial hall.

Since then, there were only slight adjustments and reconstructions, according to the needs of the castle. During the Nazi occupation of the Czech lands, Adolf Hitler himself spent a night in the Prague Castle "proudly surveying his new possession". From there, he proclaimed that Bohemia and Moravia became Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia as an autonomous Nazi-administrated territory of the Third Reich. (*11)

Reinhard Heydrich (*12), Acting Reich-Protector of Bohemia and Moravia, chose Prague Castle as his headquarters, where he supposedly placed the Bohemian crown (or Crown of Saint Wenceslas) on his head. However, the old legend says that if a usurper places the crown on his head, he is doomed to die within a year, since the crown is in personal property of Saint Wenceslas, the legendary duke of Bohemia, and may only be worn by a rightful Bohemian King during his coronation.

And Heydrich indeed died within a year. He was assassinated during Operation Anthropoid in May 1942 which was orchestrated by Czechoslovak government-in-exile. Although, the operation was factually a failure (e.g. jammed submachine gun), the Fate wanted it that way and Heydrich was wounded due to the explosion of anti-tank grenade that hit the car, thrown by one of the assassins. He died a few days later due to his injuries caused by shrapnel.

Before Ziva could start describing anything else, Tony stood behind her back and gently put his hand over mouth. "Can we finally go inside?" He asked her impatiently. He really loved her commentary. However, he would also love to see all the stuff.

She turned to face him, admitting that she had gotten caught up too much in the history. "Sure." She kissed him on the lips and took his hand.

And so they went through the Entrance Gate with black and gold railing and pair of Fighting Titans (or Giants) statues, under the supervision of Prague Castle Guard, thus entering the First Courtyard. It is the place where most of the tourists enter the Castle grounds, and also where welcomes of official state visits and guests of president of the Czech Republic take place.

To enter the Second Courtyard, they had to go through Matthias Gate, named after Matthias, Holy Roman Emperor, although the gate was built by order of his older brother, Rudolf II. The relationship between brothers wasn't ideal since Matthias ordered to write an inscription above the gate in Latin, that states that the gate was built at his command, and not Rudolf's, as he tried to erase any memory of him in Czech people.

After passing through the gate, they saw a white baroque Chapel of the Holy Rood that serves nowadays as an exhibition hall of Treasure of St. Vitus Cathedral. The largest treasury in the Czech Republic and one of the most extensive in Europe contains more than 400 items. Among the most famous ones belongs Sword of Saint Wenceslas from 10th century, Coronation Cross of Bohemia made by Charles IV. (containing relics of the Crucifixion of Christ) and arm of Saint Vitus acquired by Saint Wenceslas in 10th century.

As they turned left, they passed by Kohl baroque fountain and a well on the courtyard. Entering another passageway, Tony immediately spotted a souvenir shop on the right he just had to visit. She went after him with a big roll of her eyes, but knowing that she had to endure his shopping sprees if he was supposed to stand her history lectures. And truth to be told, he'd been an attentive student, so she could let him to be a bit lavish.

With loads of souvenirs in Tony's backpack he had purchased the day before, they entered the Third Courtyard and immediately stopped to admire the building of Saint Vitus Cathedral. This place of coronation ceremonies of Bohemian kings, as well as their final rest, including also several Saints and Church officials, officially ended the Royal Route they had started that morning. It is also the place where Bohemian Crown Jewels are stored.

"Wow, it's..." Tony uttered with fascination, stopping himself since he thought that the word ' _huge'_ couldn't quite describe how great the cathedral actually was. It looked magnificent already from the distance, but standing in front of it was a new level of astonishment. "Colossal."

She chuckled, although she absolutely agreed with him. Her neck started to hurt as she tried to tilt it back as much as she could, so she would see the top of the cathedral with the impressive towers and the giant rose window. "Well, let's go inside then, shall we?" She offered eagerly and he nodded just as enthusiastically.

They entered the Information centre that was just opposite the entrance to the cathedral and bought the tickets that also allowed them to enter two other sites Ziva wanted to see, and Old Royal Palace for which they probably didn't have enough time. But it didn't matter to them, because the tickets had 2-day validity, so if they had time tomorrow, they could still come and visit the palace.

The entrance to the cathedral was on the left and they didn't hesitate to walk through, immediately enchanted by the interior. Standing in the middle of the corridor that was in the beginning of the cathedral, they had a fantastic view on the whole building with the altar at the front. It was a stunning place and Tony felt a strange feeling creeping inside him as the sanctity of it dawned on him.

He'd always felt similar way whenever he visited some place that was famous for its sacredness. Whether it was US Capitol, Statue of Liberty or Big Ben, it didn't matter. He always appreciated the meaning of the places for what they are. _Or Eiffel Tower, Champs-Élysées, Arc de Triomphe..._ He smiled widely as he remembered these particular places in Paris, and who had been the person accompanying him to admire them.

He was pulled out of his reverie when she started to tell him the story of this cathedral. "The cathedral was built into the today's appearance for almost thousand years." She whispered to him, so she wouldn't disturb anyone else around them.

He turned his attention to her, but the secretive smile didn't vanish from his face. "First, it was early Romanesque Rotunda of Saint Vitus which construction started around year 930." She continued when she knew that he was listening to her. "It became too small, though, so they rebuilt it in 11th century to Romanesque Basilica of Saint Vitus, Wenceslas and Adalbert. Some fragments from the original rotunda can be still found in the place where the tomb of Saint Wenceslas is."

He nodded, suddenly captivated by the beautiful colorful reflection on the right side as the sun shone through the stained glass window. The sunset was approaching and he was glad that the sun appeared, despite the gloomy weather, to give him this little show. The reflection casted pink and purple gleam on the walls. It reminded him of kaleidoscope for some reason and that brought him back to his childhood.

"Today's cathedral was founded in 1344 as the foundation stone was laid by King John of Bohemia, his son Charles IV., at that time Margrave of Moravia, and the Archbishop Arnošt of Pardubice. That's when the redesign to Gothic cathedral started." She went on, letting him to admire the beauty in front of him as she read from her book. "The Saint Wenceslas Chapel was additionally built over the original tomb of Saint Wenceslas and the construction of the southern tower began. It was finished in the next century in Baroque style, thus the typical Baroque spire on the top of it."

She turned the page and studied it for a while before speaking up again. "In the following centuries, the finishing works were usually cut short due to the lack of funds. The construction of this western wing was completed in 19th and 20th century. The finished cathedral was officially opened on 28th September 1929 which is considered to be the day (*13) when Saint Wenceslas was murdered."

He nodded his head appreciatively as he listened to the thousand-year history of the building they were in. He stepped forward into the nave and turned around to look up on the rose window with stained glass. Enchanted again by the beauty of it, studying the mosaic that casted pink, blue, purple and orange gleam, he held his breath for a while for unknown reason. He dared to exhale after she touched his shoulder and leaned against him. As if her touch was giving him the needed life energy.

She tugged at his hand so they would look at the rest of the cathedral and he followed her obediently. And so they went from the Northern Tower around the circumference of the building, admiring the individual chapels dedicated to various Saints and aristocratic families that helped to build the cathedral, as well as the stained glass windows that depicted various religious events, or events related to the deeds of the families.

They didn't resist standing in the middle of the cathedral and looking around to appreciate the arched ceilings and the building as a whole. The decorations were breathtaking as the atmosphere of the place grasped them immensely. To imagine all those coronations and funerals, all those important and famous people standing in the same place as they were, was a little bit overwhelming. The history breathed with them.

One of the most beautiful chapels was the Chapel of Saint Sigismund (*14) with sumptuous altar in red, gold and white colors. Generally, the more they were nearing the end of the cathedral, the chapels were richer and more adorned. At the top there was a glorious Chapel of Holy Trinity with tombstones of bishops of Prague and tombs of Spytihněv II., Duke of Bohemia (*15) and his father Břetislav I., Duke of bohemia. (*16)

Opposite to this chapel is an altar of Saint Vitus himself. Ziva informed Tony promptly that Vitus was a Christian Saint from Sicily who died as a martyr during the persecution of Christians by Roman Emperors Diocletian and Maximian. The tomb of John of Nepomuk (*17) and his chapel were equally interesting just as the rest. Not only had it contained the relics of John of Nepomuk himself, but also of Saint Adalbert of Prague to whom this cathedral was also dedicated.

The Chapel of Holy Rood includes a staircase that leads to the Royal Crypt where most of the rulers and monarchs are buried, including Charles IV. and his four wives. She pointed at the Royal Mausoleum standing right opposite the chapel in front of the main altar and explained to him that the crypt was just right beneath it. It was built over the original walls of the former Basilica of Saint Vitus.

What took their breath away completely, though, was the Saint Wenceslas Chapel with the tomb of Saint Wenceslaus. It wasn't accessible but they could take a look inside through the open door. The tomb of Saint Wenceslaus made out of pure gold and gemstones could be seen, just as part of the wall paintings, all decorated in gold and depicting events from the Saint Wenceslas Legend. (*18)

The doors from the jewel room could be seen in the back, as well. Bohemian Crown Jewels are stored there, consisting of the Crown of Saint Wenceslas, the royal orb and scepter, gold reliquary cross, Saint Wenceslas' sword and the coronation vestments of the Kings of Bohemia. The door has seven locks and there are seven holders of the keys who belong among the most significant people in the Czech Republic. (*19)

Then they went through the rest of the cathedral, passing by the Great Southern Tower that included belfry with a bell named Sigismund, the heaviest bell in the Czech Republic, and the rest of the chapels. Outside, they agreed that it had been magnificent idea to visit the cathedral since they felt richer and more sophisticated thanks to that. It was a fascinating experience.

The Third Courtyard gained an interesting look as it was slowly getting dark, turning the afternoon into the evening. They turned left after exiting the cathedral, hand in hand, passing by the Baroque building of Old Provost Residence, and with surprise admired the Obelisk that was built as a monument to the fallen during World War I., and revealed on 10th anniversary of Czechoslovakia's foundation in 1928.

The bronze equestrian statue of Saint George fighting a dragon placed in a modern fountain was very picturesque, but it couldn't beat the view on the massive cathedral. It kept looming over them, making them feel so small in comparison with the breathtaking structure. Right under it, there was a reinforced concrete structure covering part of archaeological excavations of original Basilica of Saint Vitus.

They couldn't tear their eyes off the golden features on the cathedral and especially the so-called Golden Gate from 14th century with mosaic depicting the scenes from the Last Judgment. On the other side of the courtyard the royal balcony with Czech flag and black and gold railing dominated the place. Václav Havel (*20) had a speech from that balcony shortly after becoming the president of Czechoslovakia in 1989.

Still going around the cathedral, passing by the Old Royal Palace, they reached the Saint George's square with a giant Christmas tree with red and golden Christmas balls and other decorations, and vertically laid blue Christmas lights. It was an impressive view as the gentle tree crowed in front of the dark Gothic spires. Around the tree, there was another set of sales booths as the Christmas markets were in a full swing.

Ziva suddenly yelped when Tony squeezed her hand, sidestepped and twirled her around, as she found herself being pressed closely to his body. With their lips just a few inches apart, she didn't protest when he crashed them on hers, savoring the ever-so-sweet heavenly kiss under the tree. He was master in choosing places for a kiss, always making it so magical that her knees buckled.

He gripped her arms firmly as if he was afraid that yesterday's interruption might happen again and he wished to prevent her from breaking the kiss off once more. She understood why, but it wasn't necessary at all. She was his, she loved him from the bottom of her soul. And his lips were the only lips she wanted to kiss until the end of time.

Releasing her lips, he held her chin in his palm, watching as her eyes fluttered open. "Now, let's go get some bite, shall we?" He winked at her and bit gently on her bottom lip, then turned around, his eyes feasting over the sales booths with food and already choosing.

She stopped him as she took him by his arm and pulled him back to her. "That basilica first, then food." She ordered to him adamantly. Despite his initial whining, he agreed with her argument that he couldn't go inside the basilica with the food, so he would have to throw it inside him and not savor a bit. He could wait another half an hour or so.

Basilica of Saint George from early 10th century was highly noticeable due to its Baroque red and light yellow façade from 17th century. The interior is just as well-preserved and beautiful. It contains tombs of a few Bohemian dukes and Saint Ludmila of Bohemia, the grandmother of Saint Wenceslas. Perfectly convenient for concerts, an orchestra was preparing its instruments for a concert that was about to begin soon.

However, they had another concert in a different venue to attend that night, so they left the basilica to get some food and take a look into the last place Ziva wanted to visit today. They bought kielbasas and continued their way down the street, turning left at the first crossroad they reached. Weaving their way through the streets and people there while eating, she was already plotting how to make the attraction before them more interesting.

She didn't have anything to worry about, though, because the moment he saw the Golden Lane, he was captivated by those tiny houses and couldn't believe that people could actually live in those. The fact that it was now a tourist attraction due to its quaintness with galleries, expositions and small shops with authentic stuff made him to smile wildly, eager to see it all.

The lane was quite narrow, so they had to pay attention to what was happening around them. "So, why is it called _Golden_ _Lane_?" He asked her, completely enchanted by the beautiful scenery of remaining snow and darkened sky, since the evening had already come, as the street lights illuminated the way.

"Because goldsmiths lived here." She answered, refusing to move from the spot opposite a blue tiny house with number 22. "Although, according to the legends, after Rudolf II. permitted the construction of these houses in 16th century, alchemists used them as their workshops to find a chemical reaction to produce gold."

"And why are we standing here?" He asked another question, shoving his hands into his pockets to find his warm gloves.

Her smile widened as she nonchalantly pulled out her brown leather notebook. "Franz Kafka used this house to write in peace in 1916 and 1917. He wrote here most of his short stories for a collection called _A Country Doctor._ "

His eyes focused on the house, wondering how anyone could use such a cramped space for writing or any kind of creative work. But considering that Kafka was, well... weird in his own unique, peculiar way, it actually suited him. He smiled in content, realizing that they were carrying on in their Kafka experience, something that actually connected them on certain level.

" _Thin, without fever, not cold, not warm, with empty eyes, without a shirt, the young man under the stuffed quilt heaves himself up, hangs around my throat and whispers in my ear, "Doctor let me die."_ She recited in thick accent the passage from the short story of the same name as the collection. She stood next to him, speaking the words into the cold air, creating quite a chilling atmosphere around them. A couple of tourists even applaud to her recitation and despite her best efforts not to, she blushed.

He rewarded her with two big kisses on her cheeks to hide the red color in her face. Then he took her hand and they went to explore all that the Golden Lane offered. They especially loved the exposition that showed how the households looked inside so they actually could imagine the everyday life. Most of them were austere but served their purpose for people inhabiting them, no matter if it concerned herbalist, fortune-teller, seamstress or alchemist.

They briefly visited the Daliborka tower from 15th century called after its first prisoner, Knight Dalibor of Kozojedy. There was a legend about him playing a violin during his imprisonment. His sad melodies attracted the people of Prague and they started to bring him food in a basket. Bedřich Smetana chose him as a hero of one of his operas (opera _Dalibor_ ). But since the tower still actually looked like a prison with several instruments of torture, they rather left, not wanting to revive any bad memories.

And with that, they said goodbye to Prague Castle and its amazing secrets and buildings, both feeling richer and more educated. They walked down the Old Castle Steps, enjoying the view on Prague from there and reaching a tram station. Taking one, they were in their station _Malostranské náměstí_ in a few minutes, having their hotel just a few more steps away.

_**The End of Chapter 12** _

* * *

*1 Warsaw Pact (1955 – 1991) – a collective defence treaty among the Soviet Union and other socialist and communist states in Central and Eastern Europe (Czechoslovakia, Bulgaria, East Germany, Hungary, Poland, Romania and Albania). It was formed in reaction to the integration of West Germany into NATO. Largest military engagement was an invasion to Czechoslovakia in August 1968 to stop liberalisation reforms and to strengthen the authority of the authoritarian wing within Communist Party of Czechoslovakia.

*2 Jan Garrigue Masaryk (1886 – 1948) – Czech diplomat and politician, the son of the first president of Czechoslovakia. Chargé d'affaires to the USA since 1919 to 1922 and Ambassador in the United Kingdom in years 1925 – 1938. Soon after the Communist coup in February 1948, his body was found in the courtyard of the Foreign Ministry building. Presumably, he committed suicide by jumping out of the window. However, it's believed that he was actually murdered (thrown out of the window) by Communists. Order to kill him is believed to be issued by Russian Communists in Moscow and carried out by a Russian Intelligence officer.

*3 Mostly military and political support. Czech Republic is usually one of the first to support Israel in all operations, while Israel (for example) provides training of Czech Army forces. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu stated that _"Israel has no better friend in Europe than the Czech Republic."_

*4 Edvard Beneš (1884 – 1948) – 2nd and 4th President of Czechoslovakia, Prime Minister and Minister of Foreign Affairs of Czechoslovakia. He represented Czechoslovakia in talks of the Treaty of Versailles that ended the World War I. He was forced to resign and flee to exile after Munich Agreement in 1938. There, he planned the Operation Anthropoid with the intention to assassinate Reinhard Heydrich, acting Reichsprotektor of the Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia.

*5 Santa Casa – according to legends this house, where Virgin Mary was born and brought up, was carried by angels from Nazareth to its final destination at today's Loreta in Italy.

*6 Tomáš Garrigue Masaryk (1850 – 1937) – Czechoslovak politician, sociologist and philosopher. Father of the previously mentioned Jan Masaryk and one of the founders of independent Czechoslovakia. He married American Charlotte Garrigue whom he met with in Leipzig in Germany during his studies, and took her family name as his middle name. He challenged Czech sentiment multiple times (despite being a strong supporter of idea of Czechoslovakism) by questioning the origin of significant Czech manuscripts, and fighting against the old superstitions of Jewish blood libel during the Hilsner Trial (series of anti-semitic trials in which Jewish young man was accused of killing a young Czech Catholic girl). His sense for justice and equality of rights is what is making him the symbol of democracy.

*7 Spytihněv I., Duke of Bohemia (875 – 915) – member of Přemyslid dynasty, the eldest son of Duke Bořivoj I., the first historically documented Bohemian ruler, and his wife Ludmila.

*8 Ottokar II. of Bohemia (1233 – 1278) – nicknamed The Iron and the Golden King, member of Přemyslid dynasty. He's considered as one of the greatest kings of Bohemia as he founded many new towns, built many fortresses and issued important legal acts.

*9 Vladislaus II. of Hungary (1456 – 1516) – Jagiellon Dynasty, King of Bohemia, Hungary and Croatia. He was offered to become the heir of George of Poděbrady, the Hussite ruler of Bohemia. He's considered as the weakest of the Czech rulers because the royal power weakened, while the power of aristocracy increased.

*10 Ferdinand I., Holy Roman Emperor (1503 – 1564) – King of Bohemia, Hungary and Croatia. He married Anne of Bohemia and Hungary and after the death of her brother, he claimed the throne of a Bohemian King. First of the Czech rulers coming from the House of Habsburg. This dynasty ruled the Bohemian kingdom until its end with the formation of Czechoslovakia in 1918, thus almost 400 years (1526 – 1918).

*11 To emphasize his victory, Hitler supposedly broke his usual diet which made him to be a strict vegetarian and an abstinent. He ate Prague Ham and drank a glass of Pilsner beer.

*12 Reinhard Tristan Eugen Heydrich (1904 – 1942) – high ranking German Nazi officer and one of the main architects of the Holocaust. He's considered as one of the darkest figures of the Nazi Regime. Hitler described him as "The Man With The Iron Heart". He helped organized Kristallnacht (Crystal Night/Night of Broken Glass) – infamous pogrom against Jews in 1938.

*13 28th September 935 according to the recent historic findings. Until 60s of 20th century, though, it was believed that he was murdered on 28th September 929.

*14 Sigismund of Burgundy (died 524) – king of Burgundians since 516. He had his son strangled when he opposed to him, but later was overcome by remorse and retreated to monastery. Later, he was captured by Frankish king Chlodomer who beheaded him and killed also his wife and his children. His remains were recovered in 535 and in 1366, Charles IV. transferred his relic to Prague, making Sigismund a patron saint of the Czech lands.

*15 Spytihněv II., Duke of Bohemia (1031 – 1061) – controversial ruler since he was loyal to the Holy Roman Empire, but supposedly expelled all Germans from his lands.

*16 Břetislav I., Duke of Bohemia (1002/1005 – 1055) – nicknamed Bohemian Achilles probably due to his warrior skills, beauty and charm. As an illegitimate son, he couldn't get married by conventional means, so he chose to kidnap his future wife Judith who knew about the kidnapping beforehand. Their love produced five sons.

*17 John of Nepomuk (1345 – 1393) – Saint of Bohemia and vicar-general of archbishop. Drowned in Vltava River by order of King Wenceslaus IV. of Bohemia who argued with Archbishop of Prague Jan of Jenštejn and this was his revenge. Canonized in 18th century for his supposed supernatural powers, proved by his preserved tongue that was found three centuries after his burial in his tomb.

*18 Wenceslas I., Duke of Bohemia or Saint Wenceslas (907 – 935) – patron saint of the Czech state, one of the most important figures of the Czech history. Popular Christmas carol Good King Wenceslas is about him. One of the legends says that there is a huge army of knights inside Blaník, a mount in the Czech Republic. The knights will awake and under the command of Saint Wenceslas, they will bring the aid to the Czech people when they face an ultimate danger.

*19 Both politically and religiously. They are: the President of the Czech Republic, the Prime Minister of the Czech Republic, the Prague Archbishop, the Chairman of the House of Deputies, the Chairman of the Senate, the Dean of Metropolitan Chapter of St. Vitus Cathedral and the Mayor of Prague.

*20 Václav Havel (1936 – 2011) – Czech politician, writer, philosopher and dissident. First president of the Czech Republic, last president of Czechoslovakia. He opposed Communists and helped several dissident initiatives such as Charter 77 and the Committee for the Defence of the Unjustly Prosecuted. His political philosophy was one of anti-consumerism, humanitarianism, environmentalism, civil activism and direct democracy. His state funeral in the Saint Vitus Cathedral was visited by numerous world's statesmen such as Slovakian president, French president, ex-US president Bill Clinton who was Havel's close friend, and his wife Hillary Clinton, ex-US Secretary of the state Madeleine Albright (born in Czechoslovakia), ex-UK prime minister David Cameron and other celebrities (French actor Alain Delon, US singer Suzanne Vega). Another Czech symbol of democracy, freedom and fight against oppression.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 13** _

Tony tottered after Ziva into their room, immediately crashing on the bed, not even taking any of his clothes off. He was dead tired, but in that good, pleasant way. That kind of exhaustion that got inside his bones and helped him to have a deep sleep without dreams. He'd wished to experience this for so many times over the last few weeks, but he couldn't find anything that would help him reach this state. If he'd known that all he needed was a sightseeing tour, he'd had done it months ago.

She chuckled at his sprawled form on the bed as he lay there on his stomach. She hung her coat, took off her shoes and slipped into her warm woolen socks. Taking his bag, she hid both his and hers into the corner to tidy the room up. She understood his exhaustion but she was still fresh. Once she'd let the love for him to escape the shackles, she felt unstoppable and alive.

Putting her right knee on the bed, she bent over him to find out whether he didn't fall asleep. "Tony, you can't sleep. We have a concert to go to." She patted his backside gently.

"Not sleeping. Just want to take a nap." He responded hazily, his voice muffled by the pillow below his head.

She sighed as she raked his hair, earning a purr in delight from him. "OK, but shouldn't you get undressed?" She asked him patiently as if she was talking to a child.

He muttered some unintelligible response, but made no effort to move. "Take that coat off, DiNozzo!" She smacked him across his ass strictly.

With a grunt, he sat up on his knees and did as she demanded with her assistance. "Will you always spank me whenever I misbehave?" He asked her rhetorically, his brain too tired to realize what he was asking her about.

She took the coat from him and took him by his chin with her free hand. "Most likely." She planted a kiss on his lips and forced him to lie back down so he could rest. He closed his eyes and smiled widely when he remembered the playful spark in her eyes.

Hanging his coat on the hanger too, she returned back to the bed and took his shoes off since he apparently didn't have any intention to make himself more comfortable. He mumbled his thanks and embraced the pillow, snuggling deeper into the covers. She stood there for a while, watching him with her eyes full of undeniable love. She couldn't believe how she'd been able to hold back such a strong feeling for so long.

Then she smiled and went to do things that needed to be done. For better atmosphere, she turned on the radio and let her own playlist she had created play that was full of jazz songs with winter and Christmas themes. She turned the volume down so it wouldn't disturb his nap, but up enough to lull him into a shallow sleep. Since there was no sign of protest from him, she hummed along with the songs while moving around the room.

She went inside the bathroom and removed her make-up, not putting a new one right away. They still had some time, so she could do so a bit later. His form on the bed shifted slightly when she reappeared in the room, so she looked at him inquiringly. He only smacked adorably his lips as always, and continued dozing. His body simply needed to refresh.

With a smile, she went over to the toilet table, pulling her laptop out and turning it on. Her fingers lingered over the gingerbread heart he'd bought her yesterday and for a while, she thought about how bold it had been from him to give it to her. She knew that he'd been giving her a choice to decide what kind of love she wanted to see behind it. But deep down, he'd hoped for what that type he'd eventually gotten.

Chuckling, she let the laptop to load all the necessary programs and focused on his bag with his stuff. She knew him long enough to be unsurprised when he'd moved his things from his former room into hers so quickly. His 'unpacking' routine usually meant just to pull out all the things he needed at that exact moment and let everything else inside the bag. He wasn't one of those who tried to make their hotel room homey.

And so she took care of it instead of him. Item by item, she pulled everything out of his bag and determined its place. His hygiene supplies found their home in the bathroom, his clothes hung in the wardrobe together with hers or were folded up in the nightstand's drawers. At one moment, he peeped at her to see what she was doing and couldn't get that image of Ziva David hanging out his clothes while singing softly one of the Christmas carols out of his mind.

It was like Berlin all over again. Her being such a mother hen, or more like his wife, and immediately taking care of his clothes, even though he hadn't asked her to do so. It had been actually the first time he'd mused over how it was like to be married to her. Not that he hadn't had such thoughts ever before, because he had. But for the first time, he'd imagined _himself_ being _her_ husband.

He remembered commenting on her wife-like behavior but she'd refused to see herself as some 'type', as he'd called it. It had occurred to him later that she could have done the hanging just because she'd wanted to keep her hands busy. Nevertheless, what she'd done for him was cute and the conversation they had had was pleasant. She'd seemed to be more at ease.

He also recalled her words about the favors she offered when she had a man and how little they had to do with clothes. Partially, he was angry with himself that his love infused brain hadn't reacted in a way it probably should on such a statement. However, he knew that his reaction had been the right one. He'd accepted that information but hadn't done anything explore the subtext. It simply hadn't been the right time, or the right place.

It didn't matter now, anyway. She was finally his and damn, he already knew that she hadn't been lying about the favors. He noticed that she was done with the clothes because she took her laptop and sat down crossed-legged on the bed next to him, crunching one of the nut mixtures they had bought earlier. Still humming the songs, her fingers flied across the keyboard, successfully lulling him back into his sleep.

A few minutes later, he realized that she had to have some troubles. She mulled over the lines she was writing too long, always hitting backspace far too vehemently. He didn't want to complain, but it disturbed his nap. "Who are you writing to?" He asked her, turning on his side to face her but didn't open his eyes.

"My study department. And an old acquaintance." She confessed, thoughtfully gnawing at a Brazil nut. "But I think I have it." She hesitantly pressed the send button and sighed, hoping that her pleas would be heard.

He hummed in acknowledgment, putting his hand on her thigh to feel the warmth of her body. He didn't question who the 'old acquaintance' was because he had zero strength to feel any jealousy at the moment. Besides, he suspected that she wouldn't confess about writing to someone he could be jealous over. So, there was no reason for him to worry about anything.

She kept surfing the internet leisurely, occasionally caressing his hand on her thigh. She checked her emails, replied to some of them and erased spam messages. After reading news, she looked at the clock and realized that they had to leave soon, if they were supposed to arrive to Spanish Synagogue on time. So, she turned the laptop off, closing it and putting it on the nightstand.

Tony kept sleeping next to her peacefully, so she lay down too, watching him for a minute. Then, she touched his cheek carefully with the back of her fingers, smiling when sniffed with his nose adorably. "Tony, you have to wake up." She whispered, knowing that he could hear her very clearly. "We have to go."

He mumbled something, evidently not wanting to give up of the bed, but his body started to twist as he stretched his aching muscles. He yawned, opening his mouth so widely that she was almost afraid he might swallow her. His eyes fluttered open and she found herself pinned with his gorgeous green eyes. "Hey." He greeted her drowsily.

"I must have really worn you out, huh?" She asked him sweetly, touching his nose. "You didn't even take your pants off."

He blinked confusedly, looked at his pants and then back at her, awaiting some explanation. Because he had zero idea what the hell his pants had anything to do with his exhaustion. "At least that's what you claimed when we were in Berlin. That you can't take a nap with your pants on." She reminded him to disperse his confusion.

He chuckled and covered his face with his hand. "Yeah, sure." He stifled a yawn, feverishly wondering what to say to get out of this lie he'd said to Gibbs and McGee to explain why his pants had been on their way down, instead of being on his body. "I guess it's no longer needed."

She pouted at him, suspecting that he'd lied before just to parade in front of her and show his 'assets' or whatever she had been missing back then. Little did she know that his intentions had been innocent. He'd taken too tight pants since he'd put on some weight but had refused to admit it. The pants had been killing him, and that's why he'd wanted to change as soon as he'd had the chance.

"Well, I hope you have energy for tonight." She licked her lips lusciously, his chaste eyes suddenly turning dark with lust. "As well as for tomorrow's sightseeing."

She reacted with a snigger at his groan as she got up from the bed and headed for bathroom to put on her make-up and get ready for the concert. "Where do you want to drag me tomorrow?" He called out after her, just wanting to get ready for another sightseeing marathon.

"Jewish Quarter." She replied as she brushed her hair. "It's surrounded by various myths and legends. I think you're going to like it."

"Hmm..." He hummed appreciatively, reaching for his phone she had pulled out of his coat and put it on the nightstand next to him.

He really appreciated her tour-guiding skills and wanted to reward her with some typical winter entertainment. And what was better than ice skating right? He'd noticed yesterday an open-door icing rink in the middle of the street where people enjoyed this particular winter activity. Since the ice rink was really small, he figured that there might be more of them scattered around Prague, and hopefully bigger.

And so, he went online on his phone and started to search the nearest ice rink at the area of Jewish Quarter. He found the one they had passed by yesterday, behind the Estates Theatre, but as he recalled, it was quite small. And then, he found another one, just a few blocks from the places she wanted to visit tomorrow. It looked large enough on the photos that were available. They even rent the skates.

"What are you searching for?" She asked him inquiringly, watching his typical wrinkle on his forehead when he was seeking for information regarding the case or whatever.

He snapped his head in surprise at her, wondering for how long he zoned out. "Nothing."

She looked at him suspiciously as she was finishing putting her shoes on. "You're lying." She pointed her finger at him accusingly, but playfully. She didn't suspect that he had been doing something 'wrong'.

He winked at her, returning the playful atmosphere. "I'm not lying, I'm just protecting the truth." He stated simply as he got up from the bed, feeling all fresh. This little nap really did make a difference.

He caught her concerned look and went over to her. "You have nothing to worry about. It's a surprise for you and I don't want to spoil it." He assured her with a sweet peck on her lips, before getting his coat.

She nodded and remained silent, curious what the surprise might be, but she believed him unconditionally. She could keep question him later and use her specific methods of interrogation in a private, intimate place. With a smile at his gentleman behavior, she accepted her coat and let him to put it on her. After he put his shoes on, they left the hotel and headed for Spanish Synagogue to attend the concert.

* * *

Tony was amazed with the architecture inside. Ziva hadn't been lying when she'd said to him that the name 'Spanish' was given to the synagogue due to its inspiration with famous Alhambra. The Moorish Revival style was breathtaking with the golden undertones and oriental feeling. The whole place felt very holy and he felt more respect than ever before.

They were seated almost at the end of the lines of wooden pews. Tony realized that they had been lucky with getting the tickets because the concerts apparently drew many classical music lovers. The place was packed and he could see the orchestra's instrument at the front in 'bimah', a reading platform that was situated at the eastern wall. Ziva informed him that the placement of the platform wasn't usual. In Orthodox synagogues, bimah was situated in the central space.

Behind bimah, there was a monumental 'aron ha-kodesh'*1 and above it a great round glass window with a central ornament of Star of David. He was captivated with the place, flitting his gaze all over to catch all the little, nice details while she was giving him the description of the place and its relatively new history, since this was the youngest synagogue in Prague.

When the orchestra entered the bimah, the audience welcomed them with a warm applause. Tony felt pleasant tingling all over his body as the orchestra members took a bow and took their position at their instruments. The tingling intensified with the first tones of the first composition that was being played – _Suite No. 3 in D Major_ composed by Johann Sebastian Bach, commonly known as " _Air_ ".

The way the music that resonated in the holy place penetrated his veins made him feel as if listening to it was an out-of-this-world experience. The intimate atmosphere of the place, the majestic music, the woman next to him... It felt as if nothing else ever existed. He smiled widely when the next composition, Mozart's _Eine kleine Nachtmusik_ , started to play and Ziva started to swing her head into the rhythm.

She couldn't help it. It was one of her favorite peaces. She loved that classical music could be serene and calming, but also energetic and dynamic. She loved how classical music didn't need any lyrics, at least most of the time. The violin, piano, trumpet and any other musical instruments were able to express what the composition was about on its own. That was the magic of classical music.

It was proved by the next orchestra's performance of Antonio Vivaldi's _Winter_ from The _Four Seasons_ cycle. She could feel the bone-chilling cold that tried to get under skin; the strong wind that blew with such intensity that her cheeks went red; the never-ending rain causing heavy, impenetrable fog. Simply all those things so typical for winter. The composition also described the way how to make such weather more pleasant. Sitting by the fireplace, drinking hot chocolate or tea... And then, when the snowfall seized, having fun on the ice with the closest ones.

She reached for his hand and firmly grasped it, having her eyes closed. She was lost in her own fantasy that she didn't even notice that Rossini's _Duetto per Violoncello e Contrabasso_ replaced her favorite composition. Her ears perceived the deep tone of the contrabass, though, since it resonated across the synagogue tunefully. She felt him relax, the tension dissipating from his body and opened her eyes to look at him, only to see that his eyes were closed as he attentively listened to the music.

Whatever fantasies they had, they were interrupted by the orchestra introducing a singer who was about to perform two following arias – Verdi's _La Traviata_ and Bizet's _Carmen_. Ziva had tears in her eyes during those, knowing those arias word after word. She had a particularly fond memory of Tali singing Carmen's aria _Habanera_. She could see her sister standing in front of her, chirping the words in French as if it was nothing.

He held her hand and let the tears fall from her closed eyes. He knew better already than to try to stop the waterfall. After all, it had been him who had told her to let it go when she needed it. And it was him now who helped her to wipe away the wetness on her face when the arias ended. He would be happier if he could kiss it away, but it didn't seem appropriate. Yet, the way she leaned into his touch was overwhelming and he planted a sweet kiss on her lips eventually.

He felt her shiver in excitement afterwards as the first tones of Smetana's _Vltava_ from _My Homeland_ cycle started to sound within the synagogues' walls. She had a special connection to this particular composition due to its origin. Vltava was an adaptation of the melody _La Mantovana_ that was attributed to an Italian renaissance tenor called Giuseppe Cenci. The melody became very popular in Renaissance Europe and the Romanian version of it was later borrowed as the basis for the Israeli national anthem _Hatikvah._

Even he had to admit that the composition was a work of a genius. The description of the Vltava River in the composition was brilliant, starting from the two small springs (the Cold and Warm Vltava as he was told by the orchestra before they started to play) to the unification of both streams into a single current. The river then coursed through the woods and meadows, through landscapes where a farmer's wedding was celebrated. He could hear the round dance of the mermaids in the night's moonshine in the melody, and to see the castle, palaces and ruins aloft, looming proudly on the nearby rocks. Afterwards, the Vltava River swirled into the St. John's Rapids, widened and flew toward Prague, past the Vyšehrad*2 and then majestically vanished into the distance, ending at the Labe River*3.

Antonín Dvořák's _Largo_ from the _New World Symphony*_ 4 was the next composition and both of them just closed their eyes and savored the beautiful, soft melody. This composition closed the traditional classical music and introduced the new world, the new era of music by Leonard Bernstein's _West Side Story_ , namely by _Symphonic Dances_ which Tony loved immensely. He didn't consider West Side Story as a movie classic but he had to admit that he had a little crush on Natalie Wood since he'd seen the movie for the first time.

The wonderful experience in synagogue was finished by three compositions of George Gershwin. _Summertime_ from opera _Porgy and Bess_ was breathtaking in its soft, violin melody supported by harmonic sound of violoncello and deep tone of contrabass. Same went for _Somebody Loves Me_ as the lyrics of the song sung by the singer resonated inside the holy place.

" _Somebody loves me. I wonder who? I wonder who he can be?_

_Somebody loves me. I wish I knew. Who can he can be, worries me._

_For every boy who passes me, I shout:_

_Hey! Maybe you were meant to be my loving baby._

_Somebody loves me. I wonder who? Maybe it's you."_

With those last words she pressed her lips on his in a kiss he didn't expect but thoroughly enjoyed. He was grinning like an idiot for the whole time, burying his fingers into her hair and completely ignoring anyone who might have anything against their display of affection. The peace that filled his erratically beating heart was something he searched for many months.

 _Rhapsody in Blue_ , the last song from tonight's concert, didn't manage to interrupt their kiss immediately. Quite the contrary, they swayed their bodies lightly into the music and kept kissing each other, though they didn't make any obscene sounds or anything. After the need for oxygen prevailed, they stayed close and touched with their foreheads, just smiling widely and savoring the last tones.

The orchestra made a bow to thank for the excited applause of their audience. Then they all exited the synagogue and enriched by another beautiful experience, entered the cold winter evening outside. Tony felt that there was something different about Ziva. She was full of some emotions she had problems to express. He could figure it that out from the wrinkle on her forehead that usually created whenever she just didn't know what to say or do.

"Thank you." He said when she turned to him, obviously trying to say something. "This was fantastic idea."

She shot him an astonished look, not expecting from him to genuinely enjoy what they had just listened to. Yet, he stood in front of her and thanked her for that she gave him the chance. She was madly grateful for his behavior, his manners. Whenever she opened her mouth to say it, though, she couldn't find the right words to tell what she wanted. It would come out either very wrong, or not the way she desired.

Taking him by the lapels of his coat, she kissed him deeply. It didn't make her any troubles since he yelped in surprise and opened his mouth willingly. Her hot tongue slid against his, causing his knees to go weak. It wasn't usual for him that he felt all wobbly over a woman. But this one was special for him, completely extraordinary. He'd never felt about someone the way he felt about her.

When she released him, he put his heels back on the ground, not even realizing that he had stood up on his toes during the kiss. She looked up at him with lustful gleam in her eyes, feeling all greedy and hot for him. He'd done so many beautiful things for her today and she didn't want just to reward him. She wanted to show him what it meant for her and how happy he made her.

She gave him a little tug at his hand. He didn't need more prodding and immediately took her by her arm and started their way back to the hotel. They didn't hurry, yet their pace was fast. They were passing by historical buildings, evading other people on the streets masterfully. In no time, they ran down the stairs from the Charles Bridge and rushed into their bedroom in the hotel.

* * *

The door wasn't even open when she turned around in his arms as he locked her up within his I-need-to-hold-you-tight embrace. She sought his mouth hungrily, wrapping her arms around his neck firmly. He stumbled forward as her weight was pulling him down and he had a hard time to balance it out. With their lips glued together, they staggered inside the quiet room and filled it with the sounds of their excited moans.

Ziva tear his coat off him and pushed him against the door, closing it in the process. He gasped into her mouth as his back hit the wooden material, depriving himself of the rest of the oxygen he had in his lungs. She stole his breath, literally. And all she did to apologize was to grin wickedly as she eased off her kiss to let him to take a little breath. But there wasn't a chance in hell that she would ever give up of his lips.

He opted on trying to catch his breath and keep up with her tempo while working on her own coat. His fingers were shaking for some unknown reason and it angered him to be so clumsy. It made him feel so feckless. He'd made love to this woman already, it shouldn't been any different now. Yet, it was and he had to wonder whether he would feel every single time like right now.

Eventually he managed to free all the buttons but it took him quite a long while during which she tried to kill him with not cooperating at all. He loved thankful Ziva David more than anything, but he didn't have any feeling he'd done anything special to be rewarded with such a sweet torture. She refused to let go of his neck, and the same went for his lips. She didn't let their bodies to separate for a single inch he so much needed to grasp the damn buttons. She _intentionally_ ground her hips against his to drive him to insanity.

By the time he was taking the coat off her shoulders, he was all covered in a sweat, although she was the one with warm clothes on. Only the fact that he loved this particular piece of clothing on her prevented him from ripping it apart. Her eyes were shining with amusement when she saw how battered he was. But she obliged to his moan request and let him to slide the coat off.

He didn't have the same sympathy for the sweater beneath, though. Before she could use her hands in some inappropriate way she surely had in mind, judging by her frustrated sigh when he didn't let her, he pulled the sweater over her head and threw it away immediately. He did the same with his own, too, trying to get some cold air to blow lightly on his skin to cool him down.

Her chest heaved up and down and he'd gotten seriously lost in that sight. Then she took her shoes off while directly staring into his desirous eyes and beckoned him with her finger. He moved only when she took a step back towards the bed, until then he'd stayed glued to the floor. Her finger still kept beckoning him, and it almost looked as if she had some invisible leash since he trotted after her like an obedient dog.

The leash, that indicated the slight distance between them, disappeared once she hit the wooden pillar in the middle of the room. His body pressed her onto it in an instant. She could feel every finger of his hands burning into her flesh as he took her by her waist and hoisted her a bit up against him. She didn't expect from herself to make him so hot. But apparently, she'd done a masterful work.

Unbuttoning his shirt by her fingers on his chest, she released the guttural moan that formed deep inside her throat as he grazed his nose in the area between her chest and her neck. His breath was even hotter than his burning skin and she started to sweat, as well. The body heat was reaching dangerous level but she would be damned if she stopped.

Her stomach convulsed when he flicked his tongue all over her collarbone, and she grasped his shirt for support. Rest of the buttons fell on the ground as she tore the shirt off his body, moaning in pleasure right into his ear. He discarded the shirt quickly so he could keep her in place with his arms. She licked her lips lustfully when she saw him just in the undershirt, his manly arms hoisting her up.

She felt too hot for her liking, though. Knowing that he couldn't use his hands to help her to get rid of another piece of clothing, she did it by herself. Seizing his delightful kisses on her neck, she pulled her T-shirt over her head, welcoming the light touch of the cold breeze on her overly heated skin. She dropped the T-shirt on the floor and actually shivered when she saw him looking at her.

The sight before him was divine. Her breasts, those two bumps on her chest, were covered in a purple lacy bra. He could see her hardened nipples through the material and felt a burning urge to taste the sensitive skin. For that, he bent down his head and wetted the fabric around her right nipple with his moist mouth while he cupped the other breast with his hand.

She bent her head back, leaning it against the wooden pillar, moaning in pleasure. She wasn't even ashamed of the loud sounds she was letting out of her mouth. Her hands gripped his upper arms before she buried them in his hair. She couldn't comprehend how he was able to turn her into a jelly with a simple and repetitive moment of his rough tongue without direct contact.

His deft alternation between her two nipples made her want to crawl up the pillar. She sucked in a breath when his nimble fingers pulled down the straps of her bra. With her back arched, he didn't have much work with buckle there and her bra sank into oblivion as he discarded it without seizing paying the delightful attention to her breasts. These actions were awarded with a loud, deep moan.

Once again, she had the impression that he was overly dressed in comparison with her. Her hands reached for the undershirt that covered the rest of his muscular chest with the intent to make it disappear. However, despite his keen interest in other parts of her body at the moment, he was aware of her actions and he came to the conclusion that it had been too soon for this.

He wanted to taste and tease. He wanted to bring her on the edge of sanity and show her how crazy his love for her was. He wanted to conquer her. But not for any gender reasons as it might seem to someone. They were completely equal. Not to mention that he knew that she wanted to conquer him, too. The conquest was about a powerful want of imprinting themselves on the skin of each other.

He grabbed her hands with his own, stopping her attempt affectively. Grazing his nose from her cleavage, he lifted his head up and looked her in the eye. He saw the struggle in her gaze as she pondered whether to fight against his grip or let herself to be surprised what he had in mind. And that he had a hell of a naughty plan as she judged from his lustful, dark look.

He kissed her deeply and she gave in, submitting to his game willingly and with excitement. She didn't protest, then, when he lifted her arms up and held her hands in a firm grip above her head, pressing them into the wooden pillar. He reveled in the moan she let out from the depth of her throat. It seemed that even those sexy sounds she was making had her characteristic, thick accent.

Every inch of his body screamed with need to feel hers and so he lifted his right leg and put it on the bed right next to him. His groin got into the direct contact with her pelvis thanks to it and she bit him into his tongue in pleasure, when she felt the proof of his arousal on her body. He let out a groan, too, because to feel her warm, tight core through the layers of clothing was unimaginably arousing.

Slightly running out of patience, he stepped away from her and released her arms that fell next to her sides as useless limbs with the lack of ability to move. He didn't mind it because he didn't need her to do anything for the next action. With one hand around her waist, he bent down and put his second hand behind her wobbly knees. Scooping her up, he took her in his arms, took one step and laid her on the bed carefully.

She was too weakened for any protests and the whole interaction as he treated her like some porcelain doll appeared very funny to her. She laughed softly as she was lying on the bed, her hands reaching for him. But he put his feet back on the floor and remained hovering over her head at the foot of the bed. She blinked up at him, wondering if he would join her in the sheets but it didn't seem as the right option at the moment.

Stooping down, he leaned over to her breasts and took her left nipple into his mouth. Her need to moan was that strong that she stopped reaching for his pants in attempt to strip him off, since his legs were just behind her head. She desperately needed something to hold on, though, so her hands gripped his biceps instead as they towered over her like two muscular pillars.

Despite the momentary wave of pleasure that clouded her rational thinking, she managed to find another way to fulfill her desire to see more of his naked body. Its upper part was gloriously tilting over her and she finally had a free way to his undershirt. Clasping the material with her hands, she tugged at it and pulled it over to his head. He released the nipple he was worshipping with his tongue at the moment, and threw the undershirt away.

Her agile fingers soon found the right rhythm in touching his chest, while moaning when she felt the delightful flick of his tongue or electrifying touch on her breasts. It took her a second to realize that he suddenly stopped and looked at her with an intense, lustful gaze. She licked her lips lusciously and reached out her arms to him, wrapping them around his neck.

His mouth descended on hers and their lips started to move against each other. They needed some time to adjust for the unusual position of being upside down, but soon they were better than Spiderman and Mary Jane. She was in complete control of the kiss, tilting her head in the way she needed to kiss him deeply and taste all the corners of his delicious mouth.

He missed touching her, though, and that need was that urgent that he took the initiative. His right knee landed on the bed right next to her head. It was hard like hell to climb into the bed without breaking the kiss, but in the end, he managed to do so and get into the usual kissing position face to face. The kisses were deeper and deeper, containing more and more passion.

" _There they lay, but not in the forgetfulness of the previous night. She was seeking and he was seeking, they raged and contorted their faces and bored their heads into each others bosom in the urgency of seeking something, and their embraces and their tossing limbs did not avail to make them forget, but only reminded them of what they sought."_

The touches were getting more intimate and more tantalizing. Her nails were grazing his skin on his arms and his back, leaving red lines there. His hands were too busy with gripping her waist, her perfectly shaped breasts, with pressing his hand against her core through the material of her jeans. She whimpered into his mouth, rubbing her crotch against his hand in desperate need to find the inevitable release.

They seemed to have the same intent because he responded to the movements of her hips she produced. Desiring to feel her heat, he pulled the zipper of the jeans down and stuck his hand inside, immediately resuming the earlier position of his hand. She unabashedly squeaked into his mouth because she wanted to feel his fingers inside her more than anything. Especially after his masterful performance the day before, and now she was close to the repetition.

She couldn't be more mistaken. His plans were similar but they differed in the execution. And the one he had in mind was most likely nastier and more effective. He gave her the impression that he wanted to repeat his yesterday's actions, but he refrained from burying the fingers inside her and stretching her inner walls. He wanted her to shatter, but he wanted to use a different method.

So, he just placed his hand on her sex and secretly laughed at her more vigorous movements. She was whimpering, even slapping his head to give him the clue what she wanted from him. But for some incomprehensible reason, he didn't obey her requests at all. She started to wonder what kind of wicked plan he had, but every time she was on the verge of a deeper thought, he kissed her so deeply that all coherent thoughts disappeared out of her head.

Suddenly, he changed the current approach and released her mouth. She took a deep breath as her lungs were screaming in the need of more oxygen for quite a while. He stole it from her once again, though, as he massaged her nipples with his tongue. She moaned both in pleasure and disappointment, because he also withdrew his hand from inside her jeans.

Instead, he applied pressure on her inner thighs, making her to spread her legs for him. It took all her willpower to obey and do what he silently asked of her. She desperately needed his hand somewhere else but her curiosity was stronger than her need this time. His plans became clearer when he shifted in between her legs, paying close attention to her bellybutton.

His kisses on her stomach tickled her and she opted between sweet moans of delight and bubbly laugh. He smiled often up at her, enjoying her lascivious looks she was sending his way. She looked so incredibly sultry, in a way he had never seen her before. They had flirted with each other, teased each other and even made love together and yet this look was so unfamiliar to him. The more he loved her arsenal of looks.

Being so down there, he could feel her core pulsing and burning with want and he wasn't that far away from doing something about it. Hooking his fingers into her undid jeans, he started to strip her off. She lifted her hips obediently, feeling the tingling excitement all over her body as the denim slipped off her legs. In no time her favorite jeans were discarded on the ground.

He kneeled in the area between her legs and watched for a second as she lay there, breathing heavily. Then he leaned forward and blew his hot breath over her panties that were matching her bra. Paradoxically, she shivered but he knew that it'd had nothing to do with cold. He took the lacy material and started to peel it off in agonizingly slow manner. She remained silent, her tongue tied up and only lifted up the body parts he needed to get rid of the last layer of her clothing.

His burning gaze matched hers the moment he began to admire her naked beauty. Silent love confession passed between them through their looks. Then, he bent down again and patted her ass on her sides. She lifted her hips and he stuck his hands beneath her, cupping her halves. In that moment, it finally struck her what he had in plan and started feverishly thinking what to do to prevent him from doing so.

She had nothing against oral sex, quite the contrary. Her problem was that she knew about her high sensitivity to this particular bedroom activity. She wasn't able to lie still, always writhing like a snake. She was very vocal about her emotions, being loud too much. And even though she always tried as much as she could, she had zero staying power, always letting the orgasm to hit her far too soon.

"Tony..." She blurted out rapidly, feeling the duty to warn him before he would regret his decision. He didn't know what he was signing up for.

"Shhhh..." He hushed her with an adorable pout. "Just enjoy."

Not capable of forming any kind of answer, she replied with a fitful breath. He wouldn't give up his intent, no matter what she would say. And she didn't want to give him the impression that she wasn't interested in this kind of sexual practice with him. So, she promised to herself to do everything to curb her pleasure. Tony was a special man for her and she wanted to be special for him, as well.

Her eyes were firmly closed and her insides trembled with anticipation. She could feel him hovering over her pussy, smelling her and just that thought made her blush. Her juices were flowing out of her unwittingly as he attracted them to him. And then his tongue made the first contact with the hot moisture in between her legs and she thought her head would explode.

She felt the blood rushing through veins up to her throbbing head. Her heart jumped out of its usual place and got stuck somewhere inside her throat. Her hips jerked wildly when she felt the roughness of his tongue caressing her intimate parts. To her surprise though, he firmly held her in place as if he had anticipated her need to wriggle and disturb his current occupation.

What he wasn't able to prevent was the loud scream she let out of her mouth. It echoed in the room, shaking the walls and he silently prayed for them to be thick enough. He didn't want to be reprimanded from the hotel staff about this. But damn, the sound paralyzed his body for a moment. It left him only with need to hear more as his cock twitched with increasing arousal.

And so, he licked once more. Slowly and thoroughly. His hands were holding her waist tightly, although she tried a lot of ways how to move her hips. She achieved only rubbing her sex across his mouth. And that caused only more screams and more attempts to escape this torturing pleasure. He didn't mind it whatsoever, casually meeting her movements and doing everything to make her go crazy for him.

Then he suddenly tightened his grip around her hips and prevented her from moving completely. She was sharply breathing in and out, lying resignedly, trying to digest what was happening around her. She couldn't comprehend how come that she hadn't been in the blissful realm of sweet orgasm, yet. This had lasted for several minutes now and it had been the longest oral sex she'd ever had. As well as the most amazing one.

He looked up at her and smiled happily at her fogged gaze she sent him. He wondered whether she had any idea that her hands were tugging at her hair as if she wanted to pull it out. It didn't seem that she perceived the pain she was causing to herself by it. But whatever suited her to fight the inevitable, he wasn't going to change her ways. Because he had no intention to stop until she would succumb.

He swore he could hear a death threat wrapped up in the scream when she cried out after he licked quickly her pussy three times. Whether it was a form of begging him to stop or a promise of what kind of fate he would meet in case he would stop, he didn't know and nor did he care. He had only one task to carry out and there was nothing in the world that could prevent him from doing so.

Her fingers needed something more firm than her hair, and so she dug her nails into the mattress below her body. She was about to explode soon and she felt that the explosion would be equal to eruption of Sicilian Etna. He knew very well what to do with his tongue, where to stick it, how to twist it and lick with it all those important parts. He could make a living from it with such skills. But she was too possessive to let him.

He started to add more pressure, acting more vigorously. He had to know that it would be her undoing. She didn't even know how, but suddenly the orgasm hit her. She could only feel his tongue that seemed to be all over her intimate parts, causing her bliss, prolonging it and collecting all the body juices she was producing. Her scream bearing his name accompanied the whole moment like a melody.

She was lost in the depth of the misty haze that enveloped her. She searched for some guidance to get through it, to find the right way to struggle back to the consciousness. And he was her savior once he'd gotten enough of pleasuring her with his mouth. His kiss was sweet and unhurried, yet deep and passionate. His hands buried into her hair and his thumbs softly caressed her cheeks to wipe away those fallen tears she inadvertently let out of her eyes.

Suddenly, she sensed the already familiar weight of his body on hers and realized that his lips were kissing her and she was kissing him back. She gasped into his mouth when she became aware of the body fluids exchange he'd been performing. It was filthy but in that arousing, sexy way. She got all tingly from that, knowing that she would never forget these moments.

The gasp had stolen her breath completely, though, and she broke the kiss regretfully. His eyes searched hers for the belated permission, but when they caught the burning gaze full of gratefulness, passion and love, he abandoned that intent. Instead, he smiled at her in his own fit of thankfulness for that she had trusted him enough and let him do what he had pleased.

He'd realized that she'd been about to protest earlier for reasons unknown to him, but he'd tried to convince her with a simple plea and it had worked. She'd given him silent permission and afterwards quite a vocal one as the evidence of her pleasure. In that moment, he'd comprehended the reasons of her objections. And he'd also promised himself to reward her for such an amount of trust.

As they were staring into each other's eyes, her body shivered under him. The afterglow of her orgasm was very intense and she kept moaning occasionally. And he knew one way how to soothe it and get it on a sustainable level. She shared his opinion about the tactics when she accepted his kiss, opening her mouth fully for him and engaging their tongues in the battle only lovers could keep fighting for centuries.

She was on the cloud nine due to the new experience and had no intention to descend anytime soon. She wanted to soar higher and higher and only with him. She'd never felt such a want, and cursed herself for every second she had deprived herself from this heaven. Considering the desperation she could feel from him as he was kissing her deeply, trying to express his feelings, she guessed he felt the same.

Her hands started to roam boldly, wanting to sate her hunger for touching something manly. His hair, she'd been weaving through, felt like the smoothest material on Earth. His burning skin threatened to singe her but she didn't care. His erection was pressing her into her belly through his pants, and her intrusive hands tried to reach it but to no avail due to his body on hers.

It needed a change of position and a radical one. Inconspicuously, at least that was what she thought, she started to graze his calves with her legs. She did it not only to entice some tingling sensations in him, but also to exercise her limbs to prepare them for the action. And in the most convenient moment, she used all the strength she'd been able to gather, and rolled them over.

Surprised by the easiness of the maneuver, she broke the kiss and looked into his loving face. His lustful pupils filled with darkness as his fingers played with her hair that was cascading all around his face. She realized that he had helped her and rewarded him for that with a hot, open-mouthed kiss. Finally being in control, she took the charge of the lip-lock and tried to get deeper and deeper until he was completely breathless.

She let him to take a breath while she licked her lips lusciously, and started to ponder what she should do with him to bring the pleasure he desired. Adjusting her body to firmly lock her legs around his hips, she gave him the chance to feel the scorching heat of her core through the skin on his belly. After all, he had a right to get acquainted with the results of his work.

He shuddered thanks to that feeling as the wave of pride for making her so satisfied washed over him. His hands gripped her by her thighs, occasionally reaching to her knee pit to tease her. He wanted her like crazy as his hormones played with his sanity, but on the other hand, he could see that she didn't want any abrupt, wild finish. At least not yet. She wanted to play with him for a little bit more.

To resist the temptation to give him a blowjob was one of the hardest things she'd ever done. It would be perfect, but a cliché. And she suspected that he would be plagued by questions whether she had done it just because she had really wanted to, or if she had just wanted to repay his previous favor. He was still in the process of developing his undying trust towards her. So whatever she might say would fall on deaf ears.

She decided against it then. After all, there were other methods and techniques how to pleasure a man. And she was sure he would enjoy them just as much. Reaching behind her, she cupped him firmly and watched his eyes widen. He let out a choked moan, trying to stifle it. Nevertheless, he had failed miserably and given her a reason to send him a wicked smile.

"Oooohhh," she drawled huskily as she touched his crotch through his pants. "These must be removed."

Before he could register it, she stretched like a cat with her breasts hovering over his face. Then she immediately shifted down to his legs to discard the remaining barrier of clothes between them. He hissed when she pulled down the zipper of his pants, but restrained from moving. His crotch was about to implode, yet he did posses some of his self-control.

Without further ado, she stripped him off his pants and boxers, not dawdling with it unlike him. It wasn't probably that part she wanted to focus on. He actually started to doubt his guesses when she literally jumped back at him, resuming her previous position. Maybe she didn't want to play, but to claim her prize right here and now. He tried to read her but suddenly, he couldn't digest what she was thinking.

A howl that bounced the room's walls dispersed all his doubts, though. It took him a while to realize that it had been him who had let out that sound. _That little minx..._ He'd been so occupied with his doubts that he hadn't registered her inconspicuous hand reaching for his erection. And more surprisingly that she had gone straight for his balls, touching them almost with sanctity.

It almost sent him over the edge, because she surely knew how to use her fingers. He blinked at her as she watched him closely, apparently trying to find out whether he was comfortable with it. _Damn right he was!_ If he had managed to find her soft spot when it came to sex, then she'd just found about his. And truth to be told, not many women knew. She was one of the chosen ones.

However, his self-control was fading and he didn't know how much he could stand. So when her hand moved to begin the work, he caught her by her forearm and seized her attempt. "Please!" He squealed, not really knowing himself what he was begging for.

She looked at her hand in his grip and then into his face, narrowing her eyes. She was confused, because she could see that he wanted it. Yet, he tried to prevent it. It didn't sound to her that his plea had been the one of enthusiasm. One look into his eyes revealed to her that in the same time he seemed... _afraid? Afraid of what?_ _Maybe that amount of trust he has showed so far wasn't that strong, after all?_

And then, when she compared her own effort to warn him about her sensitive reaction to oral sex to his current one, it hit her that he might have a similar problem with a little bit different erotic interaction. Just as she had been afraid of that things might be over before they even started, he worried about the same thing. The pleasure was just too much for him to handle. _Oh, how much their worries were similar..._

She let out a chuckle as she shook her arm out of his grip and nestled her body against his chest. "I don't want to break you." She assured him that she would be gentle and careful. After all, she had no intention destroy something that brought her so much pleasure. "I just want you to enjoy it."

He swallowed the lump in his throat. "I know." He replied, his thumbs caressing her arms. He would be more willing to let her to do whatever she pleased, if only he wasn't aroused that much. He just didn't want to look like immature teenager, being too horny than to give his love what she wanted.

"Patience is a virtue, Tony." She reminded him, touching his nose with her fingers. She had no doubt that if she had managed to last, he would be just as successful, too. "Learn it, and it will pay off."

He managed only to nod jerkily, knowing that she was right. But if she planned to use this thick accent of hers, he might lose it just over her voice, anyway. He had to a get a grip, definitely. She was the woman with whom he planned to spend the rest of life with and make love to. He closed his eyes firmly and took several deep breaths to fight the urge to roll her back beneath him and mindlessly... well, fuck her. Foreplay had much more meaning now than raw sex for gratification.

He could feel that she took up a cat position again, but his eyes remained closed, not matter how much he wanted to see her glorious bosom. "Do you trust me?" She whispered across his lips as his hands dropped next to his sides, while hers next to his head supported her body.

Ready for everything, he opened his eyes. "With all my heart." He confessed sincerely in the same whispery tone.

She sent him a sweet smile and descended her lips on his in an unobtrusive kiss. Her body found the support in his as she lay down on him and his hands buried in her hair. She didn't stall any longer and reached behind her, purposely avoiding the contact with his erected manhood. Taking his testicles into her hand, she simply held them and allowed him to feel the warmth.

He held onto her kiss as if his life depended on it, being very much aware of what was happening with the lower half of his body. He just couldn't not to feel it. A loud moan escaped his mouth when she embraced his shaft and traced circles on the skin of his scrotum. He'd never felt something so sensational, so erotic but gentle and careful at the same time.

She released his lips and looked at him, her free hand providing a support of her body next to his head. Her busy hand didn't stop the massage and her eyes just watched the pleasure filling his face. She loved the way he half-closed his eyelids, letting out a shuddering breath as his nose wrinkled up adorably. It made her to love him even more, because he was letting her know that he enjoyed it.

It was out-of-this-world experience for him. Especially when she started to alternate between tracing circles and simple caress up and down on his scrotum. More unimaginable pleasure arrived when she chose to tease him with her kisses on the exposed skin of his neck between his ear and jugular vein. She'd known for a long time how sensitive this particular place for him was.

His arms embraced her completely naturally and probably for the first time in his life, he dug his nails into woman's back to regain his composure after a load moan. The reason was that she had run her thumb over his left testicle and then all the way up his penis. When she had reached the top, she'd embraced it and slid her hand back down, finishing up with a gentle caress of his right testicle.

He wondered how come that his sperm wasn't spread all over the place, but apparently his body agreed with his mind and tried to learn the patience. He was so damn hard that he thought he couldn't get any harder. Yet, the repetition of her previous movements proved that it was possible. And on top of that, she was currently sucking on his earlobe, pushing his boundaries and trying to find the first traces of insanity.

His composure was out of the window after a while. His mouth was opening constantly to let out incoherent words of satisfaction. He occasionally moaned her name which, as he registered, made her to twitch her pelvis. The clasp of her legs around his hips always tightened and she rubbed her core against his body reflexively. But then, she always stopped and focused back on pleasuring him.

All of a sudden, she got up with a light kiss on his lips and he could only whimper in protest. Opening his mouth to apologize for the jerky motions of his hips into her hand in the last few minutes, she left him completely speechless when she straddled his hips once more. This time in a different position, though. His view consisted of her gorgeous back and perfectly rounded halves of her ass on his chest, while her calves framed his head.

She actually licked her lips when she saw his erection towering below her, but she didn't change her decision. Blowjob wasn't part of today's agenda. Instead, she took him by his balls as he took her by her legs in the same moment. She felt his fingers burying into her flesh as she ran her fingernails across the skin of his scrotum. A groan behind her let her know how much he liked her fondling him.

Then she spread her hands and started to massage the area of his groin. The pulsating sound of his hard manhood reflected in her hears, just as his groans that he wasn't able to stifle anymore. It was like listening to an especially long game during fifth set of particularly long men tennis match as the players grunted in attempt to hit the ball and end this exhausting point hunt in their favor.

Pressing her dexterous hands into his skin, she dragged them around his shaft and up to his belly. He followed her movements in a similar way with his own hands, his fingers burning themselves into her waist. As if she hadn't noticed, she bent forward and kissed his belly, sticking her tongue inside his bellybutton afterwards. Her right palm was pressing his pelvis down to prevent him from moving.

He moaned her name helplessly, cursing her under his breath for this sweet torture. He could hear her panting uncontrollably, as if some lustful demon possessed her and she forgot for a while where she was. Her thigh muscles clasped around his torso more tightly and he had to chuckle at the memory when her thighs had been around his head, clasping with the same intensity. Only it had been in the elevator and they had just tried to get out of there.

She, probably accidently, brushed her head against his penis which caused another moan bearing her name to escape his mouth. The panting intensified from her side and he realized that his moans were making her wet. He could sense her juices leaking out on his abdomen unstoppably as she gripped the sheets beneath his body, being careful not to touch him so she wouldn't entice another moan. And all that until she would gain her self-control back.

She couldn't believe that such simple and, for a couple, completely normal moans could turn her on so much. She sat back up, trying to stop the pleasant shiver controlling her body. Her destiny was to lose it, though. His left hand suddenly shot up to squeeze her breast as his thumb flickered across her hard nipple. She was glad he couldn't see her face at that moment, because she was sure her smile matched that one of a succubus.

Somehow, he managed to stick his right hand into her lap and before she knew it, his fingers were fondling her intimate parts. Letting out a portion of loud moans herself, she knew that the foreplay was over. Her body was trembling in anticipation of orgasm and his throbbing manhood desired to get the same treatment. It was just too much for them both, she had to admit that.

Gathering her remaining strength, she looked back at him over her shoulder. A wordless exchange between them determined the next events. Getting up regretfully, but placated by the fact she would get what she wanted soon, she turned around to face him. He looked almost timid as the blazing desire controlled his mind, but in the same time was aware that she could deny him everything.

She had no intention to stall things any further, though. To titillate both of them even more, she straddled his legs and forced his erection to rest against his stomach. Then, she sat down on his crotch and rubbed her soaking wet pussy alongside his length, drawling a mighty moan. He remained still, clenching his fists to hold it together and patiently waited.

They knew this wouldn't last long and it was the whole purpose of seizing the foreplay. She drawled another moan as she was wrapping her pussy around his shaft. Her inner sides got even wetter as his penis penetrated her, increasing the pulsating sensation. And he just lost it, not being able to curb himself anymore. His hips thrust upwards, burying himself into her in his full length. She shrieked and trembled, her body giving away.

She landed in his crotch, not being able to move but it had a zero meaning. His desire for release provided him with enough strength to build the pleasure for both. She embraced his body, letting him to carry her into the blissful land. Her palm spread over his heart, touching his erratically beating heart, literally feeling the love inside him to vibrate beneath her fingers.

She pulled herself together and started to meet with his thrusts, having even enough energy to lift her head and kiss him deeply. In the next second, the orgasm hit her, sending her into the darkness. Her moan was muffled by his kiss since he took the control, and her legs tightened the clasp around his hips in a mighty grip. Her whole body was shaking from head to toe.

Her reaction triggered his climax, joining her in the moaning and groaning. She released his lips to let him breathe, only being washed over by another shivering feeling when he repeated her name between his moans. It seemed like nothing to someone, but it was everything for her. She returned him the love confessions with her own, not sparing colorful and even poetic words.

He started to laugh uncontrollably when she mentioned something about loving him by the light of thousand stars. He didn't want to mock her, but in that moment it appeared funny to him. She wasn't hurt by his laugh at all, joining him in the mutual merriment. That was until their lips brushed and their love was sealed with an unhurried, thorough kiss.

_**The End of Chapter 13** _

* * *

*1 Aron ha-kodesh, or the Torah ark, is a receptacle or ornamental closet. It contains synagogue's Torah scrolls. It is often placed on the wall of the synagogue that is facing Jerusalem, or eastern wall for architectural reasons.

*2 Vyšehrad – historical fort in Prague, probably built in the 10th century on a hill over the Vltava River. Supposedly first settlement in Prague. Within the complex, there is neo-Gothic Basilica of St. Peter and St. Paul, the oldest Prague's surviving building the Rotunda of St. Martin from the 11th century and Vyšehrad Cemetery, containing remnants of many famous people from Czech history such as Smetana himself, another composer Antonín Dvořák, writer Karel Čapek, painter Alphonse Mucha, already mentioned writer Neruda etc.

*3 Labe – one of the major rivers of Central Europe. It rises in the north of the Czech Republic and flows into Germany. It's the second longest river in the Czech Republic, after the Vltava River. They meet at the city of Mělník.

*4 New World Symphony – Symphony No. 9, composed by Antonín Dvořák in 1893 when he was a director of the National Conservatory of Music of America. It has four movements – Adagio – Alegro molto, Largo, Scherzo: Molto vivace and Allegro con fuoco. It is highly influenced by Native American and African-American music. Its premier in Carnegie Hall was spectacular and it was one of the greatest public triumphs of Dvořák's career. The popularity of the symphony is world-wide, e.g. Neil Armstrong took the recording to the Moon during Apollo 11 mission.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 14** _

Tony ran his hand through his tousled hair in attempt to tame it and also, to keep his hands busy. He lay in the bed, listening to the distant singing voice of Ziva who was taking a shower in the bathroom at the moment. After one of the most amazing sexual experiences in his life, he should feel fantastic, ecstatic even. Yet, he felt miserable as unfathomable guilt was preying on his mind.

He had felt exactly as he should, until he'd received a text message and had been stupid enough to read it. He'd immediately started to respond on the question _"How are you?"_ , wanting to share his wonderful mood. Until he'd finally noticed _who_ had sent the text. All joy had dissipated from his body and had left a bad taste in his mouth with bitterness as the main ingredient.

After the amazing day he'd spent with Ziva sightseeing, assuring himself that she really was about to move back in DC to be with him, and ending it with making love to her, he had somehow forgotten about the fact that she wasn't officially his girlfriend. Someone else was. And that someone else was expecting an answer on her question, pulling him back to reality.

Replying to her right now would spark further conversation about why he felt the way he did, no matter what the answer would be. And he wanted to pay his attention to Ziva, not Zoe. On the other hand, if he didn't answer, she might call him and he wasn't ready for a phone call with her, being submitted to her interrogation. Although, since she knew that he was in Europe, she might respect the time zones and wait until morning for his answer.

Trust it or not, he felt the responsibility to the commitment he made to their relationship. In certain sense, he needed to feel it. He also wanted to end it as soon as possible, but knew it wasn't manageable at the moment. Being a coward had never been his desire, and he wanted to face with this to her personally. She had the right to know. He had promised this to himself.

Putting a fake smile on his face when Ziva emerged from the bathroom to hide his real emotions from her, he turned the phone off and decided to deal with it in the morning. He didn't want to tell Ziva what was happening inside him because she was barely responsible for his feelings in this matter. It was something he needed to deal with on his own, in his own head and heart.

With a wide smile, Ziva joined him in the bed dressed in her night clothes and with her hair wet. After the sexual encounter from earlier, she felt the need to wash herself to get rid of the sweat and all. It couldn't wash away his smell from her skin, though, and she was glad for it. She felt well being marked as his. Snuggling up at his side next to him, she put her head on his shoulder and sighed in content.

"Ah, this is so nice." She uttered after a moment of silence, intertwining the fingers of their joined hands.

"Yeah." He agreed distantly, looking at some invisible point in the corner of the room.

She didn't like the tone of his voice at all. When she'd left for the bathroom, there had been a satisfied aura around him. Now, merely a fraction of it remained. He was tensed and someplace else. He was next to her, but certainly not _with_ her. To assure herself that his mind was wandering in some unknown corners of his subconscious mind, she waved her hand in front of his eyes a few times. His gaze stayed dull.

"What's wrong?" She asked him, turning on her stomach to face him better. She lifted her hand and caressed the pensive wrinkles on his forehead.

He snapped his head at her and his astonished look let her know that he became aware of her presence just now. "Nothing is wrong." He answered with a fake chuckle, trying to pretend that everything was hunky-dory.

Her hands slipped down across his face, taking him by his chin. "You know, sometimes you're a terrible liar." She commented as she watched his eyes carefully. "Come on, what's going on?"

"Told ya. Nothing." He brushed her off as he shoved her hand away. The tone of his voice remained calm, though.

She gave him _the look_ that needed no words and that was supposed to force his confidence to falter. It told him clearly that she wasn't buying his feigned calmness, that this time 'covering-the-truth' excuse wouldn't work. Something had happened to him while she was in the bathroom, and she needed to know what. He wasn't going to run away from this under any circumstance.

"I don't want to bother you with it." He tried to protest, but weakly, his eyes begging her to drop the topic. Out of everyone, she should be the one to understand why he rather kept this to himself. "It has nothing to do with you. This is my problem, my mess and I have to deal with it on my own."

"And that's where you're wrong." She opposed, stretching like a cat and sitting on her knees. Immediately, she adjusted her tank top because one of the straps fell down and revealed her breast. The predatory gleam in his eyes didn't escape her notice and she wanted to focus on other matters at the moment.

"We're together now." She folded her arms as he lowered his eyes. "What concerns you, does concern me, as well. So, cut the crap and talk."

He sighed, raking his hair in desperate attempt to find something to avoid this conversation. It didn't seem that there was a way out of it, though. "Okay, but it'll sound crazy." He conceded, knowing that to explain what he was feeling would be hard. The message itself wasn't the reason for the change in his mood. Something he was supposed to feel but didn't, was.

"Humans emotions are crazy, Tony." She assured him expertly. She knew more than anyone how hard it was to understand the emotions that raged through people from time to time.

His bittersweet smile proved that he understood the meaning behind her words too well. He didn't want her to misunderstand him as his thoughts came and left precipitously, trying to figure out the best way to express himself. He felt it was crucial for him to prove his point. Pondering for a while where to begin to explain what he was feeling, he decided eventually to start at the real beginning.

"I have never cheated on anyone." He confessed, immediately sensing that his declaration didn't meet with believing. The incredulous look she sent him proved that enough.

"I mean it." He assured her. "When I'm in a relationship I don't look elsewhere. I feel the responsibility to the commitment that comes with it. For more free relations I have dating and one night stands."

She nodded in understanding, being in awe over this revelation. He wasn't easy man to commit, but apparently when he did, he was absolutely dedicated to the relationship. "That's actually very nice." She appreciated it.

He sent her another bittersweet smile. There was a second side of this topic he yet had to tell her about. It seemed that his sense for fidelity might be broken after all those years of not being in a relationship. Because it was so easy with her to knock down the moral barrier deep inside him. It hadn't bothered him until now for some reason. And it scared the hell out of him.

"And I understand." She said before he could gather his thoughts to continue, dismissing his attempts to say something with a nonchalant wave of her hand. She'd gotten the picture what it was all about. "If that guilt you feel is so great, we can wait with another intimate activities until you'll officially break up with her."

She was aware of her being 'the third one' in a love triangle. She trusted him unconditionally, though, and understood his desire to deal with Zoe face to face. His accountability was something she'd always admired, because it was a crucial trait for being such a good federal agent. Sure, he'd had some 'rogue intensions', but she could always rely on him having her back. That was why she was fine with her decision to relinquish any sexual activities until all his guilt was gone.

He was so grateful to her, but couldn't hold back the sigh in frustration, because she'd been wrong about it. "You don't understand. I don't feel guilty." He opposed, bending his legs and folding them under him, so he could sit down. "Well, I do... But... Not in that way. I mean..."

She covered his hand on his thigh with her own, giving it a mild squeeze. "Tony, breathe." She instructed him, trying to lessen the agitation that emitted from him.

He did as she'd ordered, trying to calm down his erratically beating heart. He hadn't meant to get stuck, but his desire to explain it to her without pissing her off before he had the chance to tell the whole story, had gotten the better of him. He loved her for that she was giving him the space he needed. The fear from losing her was still pretty much present inside him.

"I do feel guilty, but for pulling her leg for so long. I should have stopped it before..." He sighed in desperation, raking his hair and kneading his forehead. "But I don't feel guilty for cheating on her. Quite the contrary."

She couldn't but swell in pride to make him forget about everything. Although she had understanding for him officially being in a relationship, internally she knew she wanted nothing else but to enforce her right. He was hers. She marked him with her smell, her kisses and the touches of her fingers. She could still see her nails marks on his bare chest she'd made, while absorbing all the pleasure they had created together.

"So, where's the problem?" She rather asked to disperse any naughty thoughts. She couldn't believe that his mood would change so radically just because he felt suddenly guilty for fooling his girlfriend about their future.

"Because I should feel guilty for it!" He exclaimed alarmed by his own feelings. "What if my moral code is broken because of what's happening to me over the last few months? It's already changed me into someone I don't recognize. And into someone I don't even want to know."

He looked at her with pleading eyes to make her understand his anguish. It was like a tsunami of forgotten feelings for him. Everything he'd brought with him here from the US, and managed to forget while being with her, suddenly came back. "What if it's made me an unfaithful scumbag? What if I ever cheat on you?" He lamented, seriously worried about himself.

It shocked her how horrified he actually was. She knew that he valued his moral code and didn't like the cross its boundaries. But the faith he was putting into his own ethics was apparently stronger than she'd first thought. No wonder he'd arrived here as a broken man. He hadn't been lying when he'd confessed that he was losing himself. He looked exactly like that at the moment.

"Okay, so let's talk this over." She kept a cool head. She didn't believe that the problems he had would influence his DiNozzo manners. Her task was to convince him about the same. "Why do you think you feel no guilt? Because you like the idea of cheating and the thrill of forbidden fruit? Or because you're with me?"

"Because it's you, of course." He didn't hesitate to answer, because it was a clear one. The idea of cheating had never appealed to him and if he'd had the desire to taste forbidden fruit so much, he would have broken Rule 12 a long time ago.

He sensed that the moral barrier had still been somewhere inside him. It had been present since the moment he'd laid his eyes upon her on the Charles Bridge, until the very last moment when he'd eventually given in. What bothered him the most was how easy it was to leave everything behind and break everything he believed in. It terrified him for the reason that he'd considered it as one of the few things that remained of him after everything he'd been put through over the last few months. And now even that seemed to be gone.

"Fine." She nodded with a smile, the pride inside her swelling even more. She already had a theory as to why it'd been so easy for him to cheat despite his own moral code. But for that, she needed ascertain one last thing. "Now, tell me... Do you love her?"

He hesitated with the answer. It was so easy to say 'no', just like it was so easy to be unfaithful to Zoe. He recalled his earlier words _'I mean, there's something but I wouldn't call it love. Certainly not that kind of crazy love I would ever risk my life for.'_ and pondered how he felt about her now. And then, all of a sudden, it was all clear to him. He was about to tell the truth, so nothing was influenced by his current emotional state.

"No." He replied truthfully. "I don't."

She released a breath she'd been secretly holding. It irritated her, but she couldn't stop her heart from exulting. She trusted him and yet, whenever he convinced her about his undying love only for her, she was on a cloud nine. "May I present my theory then?" She asked carefully.

"Shoot." He shrugged, genuinely interested in what she had to say.

"Although you think you are, you're not faithful to the relationship you're in, Tony. It's not the relationship commitment you feel responsible for." She explained simply, holding up her hand to stop his protests that were inevitably coming. In his frustration over his own possibly broken ethics, he'd completely forgotten to consider all the sides.

"It's the love you feel. Here, deep inside you." She went on, putting her hand over his heart to emphasize her theory. "That love makes you to be faithful. It's what brings the desire to commit and the responsibility you feel."

"You confessed yourself that you're not in love with her." She didn't hesitate to add, after seeing the shadow of a doubt in his face.

He was looking directly into her beautiful eyes and realized that it made sense. During all his serious relationships, at least that's how he was looking at them, he'd been in love. Only this last one had missed this element for sure. It was actually quite a good theory as to why it had been easy for him to be unfaithful, and why he didn't feel any guilt. As it seemed, the events of the last few months hadn't changed him in all aspects after all.

"Just look back at all your relationships. As far as I'm aware only two women were able to win your heart over and..." She continued enthusiastically, seeing that he'd finally grasped what she was trying to tell him.

"Three." He interrupted her with a huge smile on his face.

She did a double-take, furrowing her eyebrows. "Who was the third?" She asked naturally, not recalling anyone else but Wendy and Jeanne as his loves.

He took her hand that still rested over his heart and kissed her fingers. "You." He clarified, putting a strand of her hair behind her ear lovingly.

Her face flared up with delight, her cheeks reddening. "I meant before me." She said, playing with her fingers of her free hand as if she felt a ring there to cover her nervousness. He made her feel like teenager again.

Putting their joined hand over his heart, he smiled at her sweetly. "You have won my heart a long time ago." He confessed sincerely with an intense look in his eyes.

For a second, she stayed rooted on the spot, trying to absorb the information. Then, her arms wrapped around his neck and she pressed a passionate kiss on his lips. He leaned against the headboard again and lay her down on his chest, returning her ardent kiss. She had an amazing trait to fill him with happiness and peace he'd missed so much over the last few months.

Releasing her lips, he ran his thumb over her bottom one. "I understand what you want to say and you're right." He agreed with her theory, glad that he'd let her talk. She'd made his confidence to rise again, showing him that he hadn't lost important part of himself. She just knew what he needed to feel better.

"I just don't want to hurt her. She's been a good friend to me." He added gloomily, appreciating what his current girlfriend had done for him. He didn't have problems to admit that without her his mental state would have been worse. She was losing her patience lately, but he didn't wonder about it. It didn't work between them as partners in life.

She loved him for his thoughtfulness about other people. He hated so much to cause pain to someone else. "I'm sure you will find a way to explain it to her well." She expressed her belief in him and his abilities to clarify things.

He caressed her cheek in a grateful gesture for her faith and support. Together, they were strong. Together, they could actually make a difference. Their love was able to overcome anything, even their own insecurities. Taking her by her chin, he watched her beaming face for a while and then leaned in to capture her delicious, succulent lips to which he developed a serious addiction.

* * *

" _In the times of the Emperor Rudolf II., the great Jewish man of learning Yehuda Löw ben Bezalel lived in Prague. He was famous for his wisdom and held in great esteem, which was why the Prague Jews elected him as their rabbi, teacher and leader. One day, however, the emperor decreed that all Jews must leave Prague."_ Ziva read a tale about the Rabbi and the Emperor from a book about famous Prague legends.

The sun was slowly rising up to the sky, bringing a new morning into the Mother of Cities, and the last one before Christmas. Tony was lying in the bed, leaning against the headboard with a pillow behind his back. In his arms, he had the love of his life, snuggled up against his side. Ziva's head was resting on his bare chest close to his heart and she used his hip as a support for the book she was reading from.

Their sleep wasn't too long, but they needed only a few hours of deep, uninterrupted slumber to feel fresh right in the morning. The atmosphere of content couldn't be disrupted by anything. Even Tony's confession about the text message he'd received was eventually forgotten and just pushed back for later. They wanted to have time only for themselves.

Ziva had made use of the time to prepare them for the trip to Jewish Quarter, wanting to introduce the history and the surrounding legends to Tony. And so they had settled on her reading him the tales, while he absently played with the curls of her hair. His gaze was fixed on her while she paid her full attention to the book. Here and then, he tried to see what the book was saying, but then he just closed his eyes and listened to her smooth voice.

" _This caused great sorrow in the ghetto, for it is a terribly hard thing for people to leave their home, livelihood, the graves of kin, and trek out into the world to seek a new refuge. The rabbi immediately went to the palace to try and dissuade the emperor, but the guards had orders not to admit him."_ She continued reading, his touches sending shivers down her spine.

The story went on about rabbi considering the best way to speak with the emperor, choosing Charles Bridge as the best location, since Rudolf II. often crossed the bride in his coach. Rabbi simply stood in front of the coach, raising his arm to stop the horses and to everyone's surprise, they did so and refused to move. Even the armed retinue, accompanying the emperor, was unable to strike at the rabbi with their weapons, completely rooted to the spot.

People around rabbi yelled at him to move out of the way, but even the stones they were throwing at him didn't force the Jewish man to retreat. As if by magic, the stones turned into beautiful bright blossoms upon touching the rabbi, so he wasn't harmed at all. The emperor's curiosity made him to lean out of the window of the coach, and rabbi finally had the chance to talk to him and tell him about his request.

With a respectful bow and his thanks for the Rudolf's promise to visit him, the rabbi stepped out of the coach's way and let it pass. The next day, the emperor headed for the Yehuda's house in Široká Street that differed from the other houses in the area by the carved stone lion above the front door. Inside, however, the vast palace was adorned with tapestries, golden drapes, thick carpets and marble staircase.

The emperor was astonished with the rabbi's wealth, his honorable behavior, generous hospitality and broad knowledge. His host even provided entertainment for him, showing him various spells and a special lantern that was able to show images of foreign lands and regions on the wall. Rumor had it that in some distant foreign land, a whole castle suddenly disappeared from its place for a day and a night during which Yehuda hosted the emperor, deepening the legends about rabbi's magical power.

" _The visit convinced the emperor that the rabbi of the Jewish community was a man of exceptional wisdom, powers and wealth. He immediately reversed his decree and the Jews were allowed to stay in Prague. From that time on, the learned rabbi was often invited to Prague Castle where he would talk and debate with the learned men of the imperial court. In return, they would often visit the rabbi's study, especially the emperor's court astronomer Tycho de Brahe."_ Ziva finished reading the story, accepting his thankful kiss on her forehead.

"That was a nice one." He commented dreamily. "Say whole rabbi's name again."

"Yehuda Löw ben Bezalel?" She repeated quizzically, her eyebrows arched in question.

Tony's body shuddered under her, so she closed her book and turned on her side to see if he was okay. "One would get orgasm from the way you're saying it." He purred in delight, completely in love with her accent.

She giggled and smashed his chest with the book. Then she rested her head against it and batted her eyelashes on him. He looked down at her, his eyes full of undeniable love he'd never felt in his life. His heart had never been so mature like it was now. He knew what he wanted and he was ready to do everything to never lose it. And with a gentle kiss, he sealed this unspoken personal vow.

"So, what now?" He asked, tracing his fingers across her gorgeous face.

"Will you answer on that text?" She asked him, reminding him the text message from his official girlfriend.

He put a strand behind her ear nonchalantly. "No." He replied. He knew that Zoe hadn't asked him to really know how he was feeling, but to start a conversation. "I have nothing to say to her. Not yet."

She nodded in acknowledgement, understanding his desire to lessen her contact to minimum so he wouldn't be forced to tell her about their break-up over the phone. "Shall we eat something and go exploring then?" Her voice trembled in anticipation to go to the Jewish Quarter.

"I like that idea very much." He agreed, touching her nose and caressing her hair.

* * *

In no time they were strolling Prague's streets again, holding each other's hands, heading toward the place where Franz Kafka's birth house had used to be. The Christmas atmosphere was all around them. It lied heavily on the city as if it knew that Christmas was just one day away. People passed them in the haste as they ran the last errands, bought the last gifts, and other necessities for the feasts.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" She asked him all of a sudden, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between them.

He looked at her, noticing the wrinkles on her forehead. "What's the subject of your curiosity now?"

She licked her lips nervously, pondering how to ask her question without insulting him or bringing too much pain. There were many ways she could express her concerns. "How did you... What were you..." She hesitated for a second, trying to find the right words. "Is there something I should know about the period that came after you returned from Israel?"

She knew it was a clumsy question, not entirely covering everything she wanted to know. Her awareness about the sensitivity of the topic was great, though, so she would understand if he refused to tell her anything. After all, she didn't want to reveal her 'attempts' to deal with her departure, either. She couldn't even count how many times she'd booked a flight ticket to DC and cancelled it.

"Why do you want to know?" He figured out that she was asking him about the time of his grieving. The reason behind it was a mystery to him, though. Since the moment they'd met, he felt that this area was a taboo for both.

"Because they might..." She started but her words died on her lips in an instant. "It's a selfish question, forget it." She dismissed it. She didn't want to put her needs above his.

He stopped so he could look into her face and confront her with her fears. "You're afraid what they might accuse you of." He stated knowingly. She was aware of the pain she'd caused him by her leaving, and she wanted to know if he had done something stupid for what their surrogate family might place blame on her.

She nodded in agreement, leaning into the light touch of his hand on her cheek. "I think you have nothing to worry about." He informed her calmly, slipping his hand down to take hers as he resumed their walk.

She remained silent, only glancing at him by the corner of her eye, sensing that he wasn't finished yet. "The worst thing I developed was insomnia." He confessed after a while in a deadly serious tone.

"You couldn't sleep?" She asked him with a soothing squeeze of his hand. She wondered what the 'develop' word was supposed to mean.

He sighed with an ironic chuckle. "Not exactly. I could sleep but whenever I closed my eyes, I...," he hesitated, pondering whether to tell the truth or not, "I saw you."

He wasn't looking at her, he couldn't. The moment he would, his mind would convince him that this was just another fantasy of his. That nothing what had happened over the last few days was true. That she was just an apparition, a twisted joke of his yearning mind. And he wouldn't be able to live with that cruel fact. Luckily for him, her hand didn't disappear from his. He could still feel it.

"My dreams were full of you." He went on sulkily. "Some of them were nightmarish, some of them... reflected the greatest desires of my heart. I really liked those ones."

From the tone of his voice at the end of the sentence, Ziva digested that he recalled this period with nostalgia. But in the same time he knew that it hadn't been the right path to salvation. If he'd been supposed to deal with her their parting and carry on to live normal life, losing himself in fantasies that had no chance of coming true had been only another self-torture.

"That much that the difference between reality and fantasy began to fade away?" She asked him (to his surprise) in a knowing tone. She knew very well what it was like to let the fantasy rule one's life.

" _It was like this. The brain could no longer bear the worries and pains that were imposed on it. It said: "I'm giving up; but if there is anyone else here who is interested in preserving the whole, let him assume part of my burden and it will be alright for a bit."_

He regarded her for a long moment. "Indeed." He nodded in agreement, wondering whether they dreams had been similar. "But I knew that I couldn't continue to live like that. So, I tried to force you out of my mind and forbid myself to sleep until the memories of you stop haunting me."

Not knowing what to say, she refrained from commenting. On one hand, she was happy that he'd been able to recover from the insomnia eventually, and sleep peacefully without unrealistic dreams haunting him. On the other hand, the fact that he'd been successful in 'forcing her out of his dream world' hurt. It was a stupid feeling, she was aware of that, but she couldn't help it.

"Aside from that, there's nothing you could be blamed for." He informed her, all cheerful again. There were those little details like joining the support group or starting reading books, but those were good things.

"Really?" She asked skeptically. She didn't want to sound that she didn't believe him. But deep down, she had doubts about his mature stance towards the whole thing.

He firmly squeezed her hand and twirled her around so she was standing right in front of him. "When I said 'I can change with you' I meant it, Ziva." He hissed, immediately regretting his annoyance when he saw her regretful eyes.

She almost felt guilty for suspecting him for having some alcohol excesses. But it was most likely given by the fact that she'd drunk a bit too much wine in the days following their goodbye on the airport's tarmac. Not that she'd gotten plastered. But she had overstepped her usual amount a couple of times. She wouldn't wonder if he had done the same, too. After all, he'd done it before.

But all of that disappeared as his lips descended on hers, filling her with familiar warmth she'd already gotten addicted to. Her hands framed his face as the need to touch his smooth cheeks seized her mind. He embraced her tightly, slightly dipping her back to deepen the kiss. Their endless love helped them to keep the balance as they stood in the middle of the street, demonstrating their love.

"I know." She whispered breathlessly across his lips to apologize when he broke the kiss to inhale.

With a peck on her nose, he forgave her and directed their next steps towards Maisel Synagogue since it was their first stop in Jewish Quarter. Since 1850, the quarter's name was actually Josefov, after Joseph II., Holy Roman Emperor, whose Toleration Edict issued in 1781 emancipated Jews. They had been even allowed to live outside the ghetto, and so many rich Jewish families had moved out of the Jewish Quarter and the population had significantly decreased.

The synagogue itself, fenced in blue railing, crouched between two giant houses. The façade was in light beige color with brownish contours and red roof. It was built close of the 16th century in Renaissance style and rebuilt many times into its current Neo-Gothic form. The interior was far less rich than Spanish Synagogue, but it provided a nice and suitable space for museum's exhibition.

That is dedicated to _'Jews in the Bohemian Lands from 10_ _th_ _to 18_ _th_ _Century'._ It explores the inner life of Jewish communities in the Bohemian Lands, as well as their relationship with their surroundings. They thoroughly studied the displays about Jewish settlement in the area, their position within Medieval and Early Modern society and traditional Jewish scholarship.

The centre of the Synagogue captivated them the most as it concerned Jews in Prague in their "golden age", specifically focusing on the legend of Golem and the life of the founder of the synagogue they were in, Mordechai Maisel. Ziva briefly retold him one of the legends about this man, who strongly contributed to the boom of Prague Jewish Quarter in 16th century.

Yitzchak, mayor of the Jewish Quarter at that time, was returning one day to Prague and suddenly caught a sight of a strange golden light among the trees of the dark forest his coach went through. Curiosity getting better of him, he stopped the coach and went to investigate what the light was. His surprise was immense when he saw a huge heap of money and two dwarves at it, filling a sack with the silver and gold coins.

When he asked the dwarves whom the money belonged to, they replied that it certainly didn't belong to him, but he would find out once his daughter got married. It wasn't a satisfying answer for Yitzchak, so he came up with a plan to find out who the owner of the money was. Dwarves didn't object to his suggestion to exchange three coins from the heap for his own in his pouch, and disappeared right after the mayor finished the swap.

Yitzchak returned back to Prague and the next morning, he wrapped the first coin into a dirty rag and placed it on the road in front of his house. It was almost evening when a grubby boy snatched the rag and vanished before the mayor could react. He repeated the attempt with the rag the following day to be sure it was no coincidence, and when the boy came again, all was clear.

On the third day, Yitzchak waited for the boy to show up and stopped him from running away once he touched the rag. The boy, on the verge of tears, began to apologize and wanted to return the coin. The mayor wasn't angry with him at all, though, and asked him about his life and mainly, how did he know about the coins and where to collect them. The boy explained that he had the same dream for three nights that showed him where to go.

Without a doubt, Yitzchak was sure that the boy would become the owner of the heap of money one day. He went to see the boy's parents and offered them that he would give the boy education and proper upbringing. The parents agreed and so young Mordechai Maisel began to live in the mayor's family, becoming a smart and diligent man. No wonder then that Yitzchak's daughter fell in love with him and mayor gladly agreed to arrange a wedding for them.

However, the expected heap of money didn't come to Mordechai despite his marriage with the mayor's daughter. Even returning to the place where Yitzchak had met the dwarves didn't help anything. The mayor began to be annoyed, thinking he was fooled and married his daughter off to a poor man. His wrath eventually convinced Mordechai and his wife to move out the house.

It was a very good decision for him, because he became one of the best merchants in the town. He was rich but not haughty, and gave the money to the poor, helping people in need. One day, a peasant came to him in need of an iron tool but having no money to pay for it, he put an iron crate in pawn with a promise to come in autumn to pick it up and redeem his debt.

No one came for the crate, though. After two years, Mordechai opened it and found out that it was full of gold and silver coins, thus the heap of money finally belonged to him. When Yitzchak heard about what happened, he told him about his encounter with the dwarves and assured him that the peasant was surely one of the dwarves, and no one would ever come for the crate.

The money was spent wisely and for general welfare. A new synagogue (the very one they were standing in) was built, as well as Jewish town hall, baths, almshouse and refuge for orphans and streets and roads were paved. Mordechai Maisel became respectable and wealthy man. Even Emperor Rudolf II. attended his funeral which was completely unprecedented at that time.

The couple enjoyed very much the audio-visual 2D virtual tour on one of the screens in the synagogue, as it took them into the Jewish Quarter from the beginning of 19th century. The model is based on Langweil's model of Prague, a realistic paper model of the city from 1826 – 1837. It was stunning experience to have the feeling of walking through the streets almost 200 years earlier.

Rest of the synagogue is dedicated to Jewish livelihood, social life and discrimination against Jewish, anti-Jewish riots and spiritual oppression. The exhibition is concluded on a positive note, though, as it shows the growing interaction between Jews and Christians in enlightened Prague, prefiguring the positive change in the lives of Prague Jews at the end of the 18th century.

With this experience, they left Maisel Synagogue behind and headed towards their next destination. Ziva showed him a memorial plague on one of the houses they were passing by with the symbol of golden lion and text in Czech, English and Hebrew. The plague informed that Rabi Löw bought his first house in this street, and that he lived in another house for the last years of his life where Rudolf II. supposedly visited him according to the legend she'd told him earlier.

Right across the street was the entrance to Pinkas Synagogue, second oldest surviving synagogue in Prague. The synagogue was, as one legend told, named after a poor man called Pinkas whose honesty and belief in God was awarded with fortune and he became a wealthy man. It was built in the beginning of 16th century by the Horowitz family as their personal sanctuary.

The permanent exhibition inside was one of those shocking ones. The synagogue serves as a memorial to the Bohemian and Moravian Victims of the Shoah, creating an epitaph for those who have no grave. Nearly 80,000 names are inscribed on the interior walls of the synagogue, placed in groups according to the victim's last place of residence before their arrest and deportation to the concentration camps. Their birth date and date of death or date of deportation is also cited. The sides of aron ha-kodesh are inscribed with the names of ghettoes and concentration camps were Bohemian and Moravian Jews were transported and, in most cases, met their death.

Very emotional and heart-wrenching exhibition is in the first floor of the synagogue, though. Both had problems to keep their feelings in check as they looked at children's drawings from the Terezín ghetto*1. Around 4,500 pictures were saved, created by children in Terezín between 1942 and 1944 under the supervision of their teacher Friedl Dicker-Brandeis, an Austrian artist who was deported there together with her husband*2.

The drawings are comprised of 19 sections that tell the story of Jewish children living in Terezín ghetto. Beginning with the events following 15th March 1939, the day of Nazi occupation, the exhibition describes the transports to the ghetto, everyday life there and the living conditions. The pictures depict holiday celebrations, dreams of the imprisoned children, scenes from the ghetto and memories on their families.

Shivers went down their spines as they were looking at the drawings, reading the children's names, the dates of their births, dates of their deportations and dates of their deaths. Only a few of those children survived. The vast majority had been taken away to Auschwitz where they had faced certain death. It was so odd and so shockingly realistic. But even the darkest moments in mankind history shouldn't be forgotten as Tony pointed out and Ziva wholeheartedly agreed with him.

After they exited the Pinkas Synagogue, they went to see the largest Jewish cemetery in Europe. Old Jewish Cemetery was founded in the first half of 15th century and served its purpose for the following 350 years. About 12,000 tombstones are in the cemetery. Due to the lack of space, it was expanded several times but it wasn't enough for the needs of Prague Jewish community.

Since _halakha_ , Jewish religious laws, consider burial grounds as sacred sites, the graves must remain undisturbed and the gravestones must be preserved at all cost. The problem with the space was solved by bringing more layers of soil to the cemetery and burying the bodies on top of each other. In some places, there are about 12 layers of soil. The gravestones were removed and put on newly heightened surface of the cemetery.

Another interesting thing about them was that aside information about the name of the deceased person and the dates of death or burial, they assessed the life of the departed through symbols. Personal qualities such as good reputation were depicted as a crown on the gravestone, while wine grapes stood for fertility and good, prosperous life. Some of these symbols referred to the name of the buried person such as lion for Yehuda, wolf for Zeev or bird for Tzipora. Same went for the surname like mouse for Maisel or goose for Gans. Many of them then referred to the profession. Book signed teacher, harp or violin a musician, scissors tailor and so on.

Famous people of Prague Jewish community were buried here. The engraved symbols of Magen David and goose on one of the gravestones let them know that David Gans, a Jewish chronicler, historian, astronomer and mathematician was buried there. A tumba with a hexagram belonged to David Oppenheim, a chief Prague rabbi. The builder of Pinkas Synagogue, Aharon Meshulam Horowitz, found its last resting place there, too. The same went for Mordechai Maisel, whose tumba was the oldest one on the cemetery. The hill Nephele used to serve for burying children who died before they could reach the age of one month.

Their greatest interest, though, belonged to no one else but Yehuda Löw ben Bezalel and his tumba with an engraved lion. Tony purred in delight when he heard Ziva saying that name once again and she actually said it to please him. And she didn't hesitate to add another little legend surrounding this mysterious and famous man of Prague Jewish community that apparently cherished him greatly.

Rabbi Löw lived to the venerable age and the legend behind it was that one day, when he was at the cemetery, he met a tall pale woman with a paper in her hand. It didn't take him long to understand that it was the Death herself. Not hesitating another second, he snatched the paper out of her hands and tore it up to pieces. Death was furious since it was a list of names of people who were supposed to die that night with rabbi's name on it, too.

She warned him that despite his escape, she would go after him, anyway. In the following years, trying to entrap him so he would meet his end, she tried to deceive him. She pretended she was a fisherman who offered him a poisoned fish or a student who wanted to be tutored by him and thus to intrude his household. Rabbi was a very watchful man, though, and always saw through Death's deceptions.

One day, however, his granddaughter brought him a beautiful sweet-smelling rose. Forgetting momentarily about his caution, he closed his eyes and smelled the rose delightfully. In that moment, he fell dead on the floor. Death had hidden herself in the drops of the dew on the petals of the rose, finally winning over the smart and witty man who just wanted to show gratefulness to his grandchild.

His legacy is still present up to this day, nevertheless. It's believed that he didn't die completely and that he keeps sitting in his grave and reading old books. People keep coming to Old Jewish Cemetery and slipping little pieces of paper with their prayers and wishes into the cracks of his tumba (similarly to Western Wall), or putting coins and stones there, hoping that Rabbi Löw will grant their wishes.

"I guess Franz Kafka isn't buried here, right?" Tony asked her after Ziva finished a little prayer at Yehuda's grave.

She smiled at him and nodded to confirm his statement. "Indeed, he isn't. He's buried in the New Jewish Cemetery*3 which isn't in the historical centre."

He coaxed a promise out of her to go visit the writer's grave if they had the time, because he wanted to pay a tribute to him. One of the reasons why he had eventually chosen Prague as his destination to find the Christmas spirit was that he'd read Kafka's books. He couldn't have known what this trip might bring to him and now when he knew, he wanted to use every possible way to celebrate it.

After leaving the Old Jewish Cemetery, they briefly went through Klausen Synagogue, the largest synagogue in Prague, and Ceremonial Hall to inspect another interesting exhibition. That was dedicated to Jewish customs and traditions from Judaism sources and ways, as well as places to worship, to Jewish holidays and Jewish life in general, focusing on households, everyday life, birth, circumcision, adulthood, wedding, divorce, death and burial.

She hurried him through the exhibition, reasoning that she could tell him most of the facts herself. Her main desire was to see the Old New Synagogue where they headed immediately afterwards. It was the oldest active synagogue in Europe built in the second half of 13th century in early Cistercian gothic style. Actually, it was one of the first gothic buildings in Prague.

Its name was originally just 'New Synagogue' since Jewish Quarter had already had 'Old Synagogue' but that one was demolished in the second half of 19th century. Another explanation claims that the name was taken out of Hebrew עַל תְּנַאי (al tnay) which means 'on condition' and its pronunciation sounds just like Yiddish 'alt-nay', or old-new in translation.

A legend has it that angels brought the stones from the Temple in Jerusalem so the old New Synagogue could be built. Supposedly, the stones were provided 'on condition' that they would be returned once the Messiah comes and the Temple in Jerusalem finally gets rebuilt. And that was not the only legend surrounding this place. The most famous one concerns the attic of the building where Golem of Prague is allegedly stored.

There were many variations of this particular legend, so Ziva chose the golden mean and tried to combine everything she knew. To create a golem, an artificial man with supernatural powers, was Rabbi Löw's decision after deep contemplations about his mortality. Knowing that his life wasn't eternal, he wanted to ensure the safety and protection of Prague Jewish community.

He did a thorough research and decided to model a figurine out of clay from the banks of Vltava River. His two trusted pupils helped him to do so and participated on bringing the golem to life through sacred incantations. One of the pupils, whose nature was 'that one of fire' as Rabbi said, was ordered to walk around the golem seven times and recite the words of the incantation.

The clay figurine was red hot by the time the first pupil finished his circling. The other one was asked to do the same, since his nature was 'that one of water', and it helped to cool the clay to the right temperature. Then the Rabbi himself circled around the golem seven times, uttering the incantations. With a seventh circle, he put a piece of parchment with secret symbols called 'Shem' into golem's mouth.

Their creation came to life soon enough and though the golem couldn't speak, his size caused the level of respect the Rabbi had had in mind. They dressed him into servants' clothes and passed him off as a new servant in synagogue named Josef. And so, through the day the golem helped in the synagogue, while during the night he served its main purpose and that was to protect Jewish Quarter by patrolling the streets and preventing any attacks.

He was a very good servant, although sometimes he overdid what had been ordered to him, considering he wasn't a real man and his understanding for given orders was very simple. His power was in control, because Rabbi always took out the Shem out of his mouth before Friday prayers that started Sabbath, making Golem immobile and thus letting him rest, too.

However, when one of Rabbi's daughters fell ill and he found himself unable to help her, he forgot to take out the Shem before he departed to synagogue to fulfil his duty of Sabbath prayers. Golem, not having any orders to follow and no work to do, was seized by amok. He smashed everything he could, destroying every single thing he found to release the accumulated energy inside him.

Rabbi was forced to interrupt the prayers and rushed to stop the rampage, rather violating religious rules than to let his own creation to keep destroying, or worse, killing someone. Yelling at Josef to stop, the golem obeyed his order and let him to take out the Shem. With a heavy heart, the Rabbi returned to synagogue afterwards and continued in the prayers. Since he had already sung Psalm 92 and knew that he had broken the sacred rules of Jewish religion by interrupting the Sabbath prayers, he started once again. And since then, Psalm 92 is repeated twice during the prayers in Old New Synagogue that is the only one in the world to have such a practice.

Rabbi's sad mood was improved after he returned home from synagogue and saw that his daughter was miraculously healthy again. However, he knew that he had to do something about Golem. He couldn't let happen such a thing once more and put so many lives at risk. And so, he decided to take Golem to the attic of the Old New Synagogue where he and his pupils reversed their incantations that had brought clay man to life.

The motionless Golem lies since then in the attic, waiting for another time of need of Jewish people. The attic isn't opened to the public and to ensure that no one will ever step their feet there, the part of the staircase is missing. Actually only a handful of people have been allowed to visit the place. And most of them refused to talk about their experience, making the legend to keep live on.

Tony was thrilled to hear about the legend again and actively participated on her storytelling. They took a look inside the synagogue, noting a large red flag with golden stitched Star of David with a hat in the centre and text _Shema Yisrael._ The hat was a representation of the one typically worn by Jews of the 15th century. The flag itself was a gift from Ferdinand III., Holy Roman Emperor*4, to Prague Jewish community for their participation in the defence of Prague*5 during the Thirty Years War.

"Please, tell me that you'll let me to eat something now." He practically begged her on his knees when they left the synagogue. He was famished and it was time for late lunch at the moment. His stomach was never mistaken.

She smiled at him sweetly, patting his shoulder. "This is the end for today. I think we've seen enough."

If he wasn't standing just to the next the place of worship, he would clasp his hands and exclaimed 'Hallelujah'. But he was afraid that people would think he was crazy or something. He truly enjoyed this tour immensely, because Jewish mysteries were really interesting. But he didn't want to die out of hunger. And his body screamed for hearty food and some good drink to wash it down.

She chuckled at his eager eyes as they were seeing only the food, and rummaged in her purse to find her phone because she felt it vibrating. Noticing the icon that told her that she had received an email message, she opened it without interest at first. But as her eyes followed the lines of the neatly written text, she was becoming more and more agitated.

He noticed it immediately and looked at her with a questioning look. He couldn't read her face well, she had somewhat non-transparent expression. Her eyes were telling the story of her restlessness, though. He gently took her by her wrist in which she was holding the phone and directed her chin towards his head by his second hand to gain her full attention.

"What happened? Is something wrong, Ziva?" He asked with uneasiness settling inside his stomach. _Please, let the answer be 'no'._

_**The End of Chapter 14** _

* * *

*1 Terezín ghetto – town in the north part of the Czech Republic, named in honour of Empress Maria Theresa, turned into concentration camp during the Nazi occupation. Most of the prisoners were transported further either to Treblinka extermination camp or Auschwitz concentration camp. Still, tens of thousands of people died in Terezín, either being killed immediately or dying out of various diseases and bad living conditions.

*2 She was practically giving art therapy to the children as she saw drawing as a way for the children to understand their emotions and their surroundings. She was transported to Auschwitz in 1944 after her husband was taken away there, too, one transport earlier. Before she left, though, she hid the children's drawings. Her husband survived, she died in Auschwitz.

*3 New Jewish Cemetery – location in Prague's district Žižkov, roughly 6 kilometres from Old Jewish Cemetery, established in 1891 and built in art nouveau style. It's about 10 times bigger and has a special area for urns, since some liberal Jews aren't against cremation. Other notable buried people are Czech writers Ota Pavel and Arnošt Lustig (holocaust survivor).

*4 Ferdinand III., Holy Roman Emperor (1608 – 1657) – also King of Hungary and Croatia, King of Bohemia and Archduke of Austria form Habsburg dynasty. He was milder than his father Ferdinand II., but continued in recatholization of the Czech lands and deprived Bohemian estates of their rights to raise soldiers.

*5 Battle of Prague (25th July 1648 – 1st November 1648) – last action of the Thirty Years' War. Swedes besieged Prague and even captured Prague Castle, but were unable to enter the Old Town due to the resistance. When Prince Carl Gustaf, future King of Sweden, heard about Peace of Westphalia being signed, he seized all attacks on Prague.


	15. Chapter 15

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 15**_

* * *

_*** WHERE WE LEFT OFF ***_

_She chuckled at his eager eyes as they were seeing only the food, and rummaged in her purse to find her phone because she felt it vibrating. Noticing the icon that told her that she had received an email message, she opened it without interest at first. But as her eyes followed the lines of the neatly written text, she was becoming more and more agitated._

_He noticed it immediately and looked at her with a questioning look. He couldn't read her face well, she had somewhat non-transparent expression. Her eyes were telling the story of her restlessness, though. He gently took her by her wrist in which she was holding the phone and directed her chin towards his head by his second hand to gain her full attention._

" _What happened? Is something wrong, Ziva?" He asked with uneasiness settling inside his stomach. Please, let the answer be 'no'._

_*** AND NOW WE CONTINUE ***_

* * *

It took a while for her to focus her eyes on his and let his question to sink in. "You won't believe..." she started, immediately making a pause to clear her throat, "It's a message from my school. They have a place for me on University of Maryland."

Now, he was the one who needed some time to realize the value of the information, calculating inside his head. "That's not far away from Navy Yard!" He exclaimed excitedly, his face lighting up like a Christmas tree. Well 'not far away'... Roughly, it was an hour car ride. Still, definitely closer than he could ever imagine.

"That's great news!" He took her by her hands, immediately reaching to caress her red cheeks. She smiled at him faintly, her eyes not reflecting the joy she felt inside. "Then why do you look like as if you were on a funeral?" He asked her in confusion.

She sighed as she shifted her weight nervously. "I have to apply for that place in person. Which means I have to be in Tel Aviv no later than Friday." She explained with sorrowful expression. "We have to leave Prague. And there are still so many things I want to show you..."

He shushed her by pressing his finger against her mouth, replacing it with his lips. "Look, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for this wonderful and informative tour." He said after he ended the kiss. "But the most important thing for me is to have you."

Internally, he was jumping with joy over the reason of her sudden sad mood. He did share her sorrow over the necessity to leave this beautiful city behind. But it was worse for him to imagine that their plans would all go to hell. She had been offered a place on a university that was so close to his, actually theirs now, home. The future had never looked as bright as it did now.

"I swear on the love I feel for you that we will return here in the near future." He continued and her eyes lit up with happiness. "Whether it'll be spring, summer, autumn or winter again, we walk these streets once more."

She wrapped her arms around him and just nestled against him comfortably. He would never be able to comprehend the amount of affection she had for him. Whatever he'd said was so charged with positivity, that she couldn't but believe that everything would be just as he had told her. His embrace really was the home she'd searched for from the moment she'd lost it.

Not wanting to deny him his portion of food any longer, not to mention that she was quite hungry herself, she directed their steps to the first restaurant they saw. For starters, they chose marinated Camembert with onions, garlic and chilli peppers and their main course was spicy beef goulash with Carlsbad dumplings. No other beverage but Pilsner Urquell beer had crossed their mind.

Ziva got in touch with her friend in Israel who arranged flight tickets for her travels, and managed to get two tickets to fly to Tel Aviv the next day around midnight. They would arrive to Israel on Friday then, and could leave to DC on Sunday. That wasn't enough time to make all the arrangements she needed to do, but enough to do at least some basics so she could direct the rest online from DC afterwards.

He observed her closely, loving her business mode as she was dealing with stuff over the phone and writing it all down. Noticing her leather notebook, he wondered what other mysteries she was hiding there. Most of the legends she had told him about were written inside with various footnotes that enriched it. He had paid attention during her storytelling, so he knew that she'd skipped a few pages.

"Are there any more legends to tell?" He asked her as they waited for their main course to arrive at the table.

"Many more." She answered with a chuckle, her eyes completing the smile on her face. "There used to be _Gold Street_ not far away from here. And it has nothing to do with the _Golden Lane_ at Prague Castle. Interested in what legend surround this already defunct street?"

"You bet I am." He winked at her as he took a mouthful gulp out of his beer mug.

" _In the Jewish Town there once lived a rabbi who had a beautiful daughter. Hana was quiet by nature, and did not enjoy the nosy company of the other girls. In the evening, she often used to walk to the river and sit in her favourite place between the trees, where the branches leaned down towards the surface of a deep pool."_ She began to read quietly as she didn't want to disturb other guests at the restaurant.

The story went on about how the girl often took her dress off, especially during hot summers, and sank into the water to bathe. Afterwards, she sat on the bank and combed her long black hair. Her beauty enchanted a young water goblin who lived in the river. Wanting to confess his love for her, he stopped hiding and showed himself in front of her.

Hana was startled by his appearance, because although he looked like a well-built and handsome man, his skin was pale and his hair was green. Despite her initial reaction to run away, the water goblin's love confession made her stay and, eventually, fall in love with him. Soon, their love was so great that Hana decided to leave home and go live with the water goblin into his palace at the bottom of the Vltava River.

Her disappearance caused uproar within the community. People searched the banks of the river, trying to find her drowned body, but couldn't find it. Eventually, her family accepted that she had drowned and the currents were so strong that they had carried her body away. No one had any idea about the underwater land in which Hana now lived with her love.

Their life was happy, having enough of everything they wanted. Thanks to that, Hana didn't even miss the life on the surface. Soon, she became pregnant and when the moment of the delivery was expected, Hana asked the water goblin to fetch her aunt who was a midwife. The aunt didn't want to go with unknown and strange man, but upon hearing it had been Hana's request, she didn't hesitate another second.

Both Hana and the aunt were happy to see each other again, and the joy was even greater when a baby boy with green hair was safely born thanks to the midwife's help. The aunt then wanted to leave since life underwater wasn't her cup of tea. Hana advised her that if the water goblin asked how he could repay her help, she shouldn't choose any gemstones or pearls as her reward, but just a little ordinary coal.

In spite of her puzzlement, the aunt did exactly so. The water goblin accompanied her back on the surface and she rushed back home with an apron full of coal. However, being in such a hurry, she scattered some pieces of the coal on the street. When she got home, she put the apron into the corner and went to sleep as she was exhausted by the events of the last few days.

When the morning came, she was woken up by commotion on the street. Looking out of the window, she saw people on the street rejoicing in picking up pieces of gold. She began to wonder where all the gold could come from and then it hit her. Taking the apron in the corner, she found out that it was full of gold. And since then, this particular street was called _Gold Street_.

"A water goblin?" Tony asked incredulously after she finished with her narration.

"It's quite popular character in Slavic mythology." She explained to him as she cut a piece of dumpling with her knife and bathed it in the goulash sauce before sticking it into her mouth.

"There's a famous poem called _The Water Goblin_ written by Czech poet... uhm," she made a pause and took her leather brown notebook to check the information, "Karel Jaromír Erben*1 who describes similar story. My Czech school mate translated it for me."

"And what does it say?" He took interest in it, genuinely curious about it. Also, he registered the mention of 'her Czech school mate' which finally explained to him how come her knowledge of this country could be so deep.

" _One Thursday evening, a water goblin sits on a tree above the lake and asks the moon to shine so he could sew red shoes and green dress. Because tomorrow it's supposed to be his wedding."_ In short, she started to retell him the story of the poem.

In the morning a girl woke up and decided to wash her clothes in the lake. Her mother discouraged her from doing so, however, and begged her to stay at home because a bad dream she'd had a night before worried her. In the dream, she'd been choosing pearls for her daughter, and putting her up in white dress with a skirt that looked like made out of water foam.

Meaning of the dream was that the white dress hid sadness, while the pearls wee hiding tears. And generally, Friday was considered as an unlucky day. The girl wasn't listening, though. Something was driving her towards the lake and she was bored at home. However, once she soaked the first scarf, the bridge broke under her and the girl fell into the deep waters, leaving only water circles behind her. The water goblin observed it all and applauded in happiness.

Under the water, the girl was forced to wed the water goblin without feeling love for him. Although his fortune was great and his manor as well, she wasn't happy with any of it and rather wished to be dead. The underwater land was mournful, with no sun, no wind, only filled with cold and silence. No visitors came by and if any came, he/she would never see the land up there ever again.

Her heart was full of grief as she missed her mother greatly. Her only pleasure was the son she had with the water goblin. She sang him songs that reflect the pain she felt, even though the water goblin didn't like the lyrics at all. He even threatened her to turn her into a fish if she didn't stop. Wistfully, she asked him not be angry with her, but understand her. He'd robbed her of her youth and had done nothing to compensate it. And even though she had pleaded him at least hundred times, he hadn't let her visit her mother.

The water goblin objected that he was afraid that she wouldn't return since females are known for their tricky minds. Eventually, though, he allowed her to visit her mother, but under the condition that she would hug neither her mother, nor anyone else. He also ordered her to return to the lake before the Angelus bell. To ensure it, he told her to leave their son underwater and go visit her mother without him.

Both mother and daughter were delighted to see each other and the daughter instantly forgot her promise not to hug anyone. The initial joy turned to sadness, though, as the daughter kept crying for that she was destined to return to the lake by the end of the day. Her mother vowed to protect her at all costs against the 'murderer', as she called the water goblin, and barricaded them in the house.

When his wife hadn't gone back to the lake, the water goblin went to fetch her personally into her mother's house. He wanted from her to make him a dinner, but the mother retorted to dine what he'd dined before. When the midnight struck, the water goblin banged on the door again, demanding from his wife to make up their bed. The mother took care of it again with a retort that the one who had made up the bed for him before should do it again.

In the morning, the water goblin returned and demanded from his wife to come back home because their son was crying out of hunger. That made the daughter to snap out of her desire to stay at home. She loved her son, no matter that the water goblin was his father, and knew she had to take care of him. And so she pleaded her mother to let her go back because her son needed her.

Her mother refused, though, stating that the water goblin was just trying to lure her back and that her worries for her daughter were greater than her daughter's care for her son. To the water goblin she said that her daughter wouldn't go anywhere and if the baby was crying, he should bring it to them. Out of thin air, a storm broke out and the baby's cries were heard through all the thundering. And then, all of a sudden, they weren't heard anymore.

The daughter knew that something bad happened and she was terrified by the idea what the water goblin had done. They both heard something to fall on the ground in front of door and their scare was deepened when they saw a large pool of blood under the door. Then, the mother opened the door and yelped in shock. On the threshold there was a child's head separated from its body.

By the end of the story, Tony was staring at her with his mouth wide open in unbelieving stare. "This is a poem?" What kind of poem the hell is that?" In his opinion, poems were usually romantic and graceful part of literature. This particular poem sounded more like a horror.

"It's a ballad, Tony. It's supposed to have this gloomy tone." She argued enthusiastically. "Not every poem is as chaste as _'roses are red, violets are blue'_."

He looked at her with disapproving face and so she explained further. "Take Edgar Allan Poe, for example." She guessed that he'd head to read something from Poe, considering that he was an American and he'd been on the list of required reading. "Do you consider _'The Raven'_ to be a happy, joyful poem?"

He blinked once, then twice. It hit him that she'd been right. Poe wrote multiple dark, supernatural poems, all of them masterpieces that were able to suck the reader in the atmosphere. "Well...," he stated and then took a sip from his beer, "nevermore."

She started to giggle at the pun he'd made and he along with her, since her laugh was infectious. They finished their meals at peace, casually talking about everything and nothing, specifically about their plans in Israel, although their trip would be quite short. They paid and while Ziva was on the women's restrooms, Tony found their next destination on GPS, so he would know which way to go.

"So, what do you want to do now? Do some more exploring or shall we return to the hotel and... snog a little?" She asked him after they exited the restaurant, nestling her body against his as her arms embraced him.

He grimaced as he cursed himself for the being such a wonderful boyfriend who had in mind a surprise for his love. Because he would certainly prefer snogging. But since she'd managed to pry the confession off him that he had a surprise for her a night before, he didn't hope for her to forget about it. And actually, he wanted to surprise her so much.

"Will you trust me with the next part of our program?" He asked her, putting his finger under her chin and lifting her head up to him.

She nodded in agreement, having no doubts that she would enjoy it. The curiosity bubbled inside her, though, and she immediately started to ask him why he was so secretive. He ignored her questions and took her by her hand, leading her through the street they were in. Occasionally, he checked his phone if they were going in the right direction, but was careful not to reveal the surprise before she would see it.

Shortly, they turned left on the corner of the street and went straight ahead to a place that was surrounded by white walls. When they reached the entrance, Tony gentlemanly let Ziva go first as he hold her hand, and smiled widely when he heard her gasp in surprise. It was a playing field, currently turned to an ice-skating rink and people of all age categories were showing their skating skills.

"An ice rink?" She turned to him, her face lighting up with childish joy. "You're taking me ice skating?"

He smiled at her and caressed her hair softly. "Do you remember that I once promised you to take you ice skating in DC?" He asked her dreamily. "Unfortunately, we've never really had the chance. So, I'm trying to make it up to you."

She grinned widely, remembering their conversation a few years back while having a movie night. They had watched _Ronin_ , spy thriller movie from 1998 about former special operatives who were trying to steal a heavily guarded briefcase with unknown contents. He'd coaxed her to watch the movie with him back then as he'd loved the realistic car chases in the movie and wanted her to see them for some reason.

One of the scenes in the movie was in an ice arena where a girlfriend of a Russian mobster Mikhi, Natacha Kirilova, played by Katarina Witt*2, had a figure skating performance. Ziva had admired her gracefulness and the lightness of her moves on the ice as she had performed pirouettes and figure skating jumps with ease. She had expressed her desire to be able to skate like that one day, and so the promise of going ice skating had been made.

"I can't believe you remember that." She breathed out nostalgically.

He shrugged, smiling. "There are things I forget, but there are also things I remember." He stated simply, taking her by her arm, and silently inviting her to go closer and choose the ice skates.

Her smile suddenly faded and she came into a halt, refusing to move from the spot. "Wait, Tony. I've never stood on the ice skates."

He rolled his eyes and turned to her. "Great! It's been ages since I've skated as well. We'll both be horrible."

"I'm not going to embarrass myself in front of these people." She protested firmly. She wanted to skate so much, but the amount of people on the rink scared her. She didn't want to look dumb, neither did she want to harm anyone by her clumsy attempts to ice skate.

He took her hands into his to calm her down. "That's the fun, sweetheart." He patiently explained. He understood her concerns but they were supposed to have fun.

Being still in doubts, she watched the people on the ice rink. She saw multiple couples, either with their children or just the two of them, no matter if they were lovers or just friends. All people skated all over the frozen surface and had a good time. She even witnessed several falls, some of them causing laughter, because they were on purpose. Falls out of inexperience were mostly met with kindness and helping hand to help stand up.

"Come on, we can hold on to each other and embarrass ourselves together." He assured her and she eventually nodded in agreement.

They rented the skates, and sat on the bench to put them on and tightly fasten them up. With a decisive sigh, they stood right in front of the ice rink, ready for everything. Considering that Tony was more experienced, he eventually stood on the ice first, testing his balance. Old habits die hard and he should remember some of his moves when he had used play ice hockey.

Nevertheless, he had to steady himself, so he held on to the wall. Advising her to walk around a bit off the ice to get adjusted to the different kind of footwear, he watched her to do a few unsure steps on the rubber mat. But surprisingly, she kept her balance well. Soon, she was confident enough to follow his beckoning finger and enter the ice rink. Her effort was slow and careful, but in the end she was proud of herself that she didn't slip or anything.

He showed her how to grip the wall and learn to feel the ice beneath her. At first, she was using her arms as she pulled herself on the ice, but then she started to use her legs and did a few steps while still holding the wall. He observed her with pride and did the same, only he was a little bit faster. Like that, they managed to get through half of the ice rink and both were happy for that.

"Now, you have to learn to maintain your balance." He said as he stepped away from the wall to stand on the ice alone.

He spread his arms and relaxed his body, bent his knees and leaned forward. Then he made a movement with his leg and glided across the ice, repeating the movements of his legs until he reached the wall again. She observed him closely and listened to his instructions as he returned to her, testing her legs by supporting herself and gliding the ice skates on her feet against the ice.

He stood behind her and helped her to stand on the ice alone, supporting her immediately as she almost slipped. Holding her around her waist, he assured her that she could do it and let go of her. After a few clumsy attempts that involved gripping the wall again and doing her best to avoid the fall, she stood confidently on the ice skates, ready to move.

Getting in front of her by his ice skating moves to show her once again how she should do it, he beckoned her with his hands to glide into his embrace. Since she had no idea how, he told her about probably the easiest way and that was to push the skates apart by using her knees and then glide them back together. Surprisingly, she seemed to have talent for this and happily landed in his arms.

"See? You're not that terrible." He awarded her with a kiss she gratefully accepted for her efforts.

"Thanks to you, professor DiNozzo." She giggled and immediately yelped because the kiss distracted her enough to stop keeping her balance.

Before she knew it, she landed on the ice with Tony in tow. And she gave up, she just couldn't stop laughing, no matter how much she tried to stifle it. There was something about falling on ice that was plainly hilarious. Seeing Tony sprawled on the ice with confused expression as he couldn't find the reason for being there completely disarmed her.

At first, he didn't join her, just in case she would get mad at him. When he realized that she had no intention to have any murderous thoughts, he started to laugh with her. And so they were laughing at each other like idiots. After their laugh subdued, their attempts to get up started. That caused new fits of laughter as neither of them knew exactly how to stand up without falling down again.

After a while, they both managed to stand steady on the ice again, although it took them a lot of practising. In the end, they opted on being on their knees, while holding the wall and pulling themselves up. Brushing off the remnants of the snow that stick to their coats and trying to ease off the pain from their hurting stomachs and buttocks, they got serious again and renewed their passion for learning how to ice skate.

Tonys' muscles apparently had some memory because he felt already more secure on the ice skates. He still had to assure himself about his balance quite often, but he was natural in gliding. His main goal, though, was to learn Ziva how to do the same movements and feel more confident. And he had to do it very carefully because he still remembered that she tended to be irritated whenever she felt like a fool.

But she was actually dutiful, letting him to explain how she was supposed to push herself off on the skates to take longer strikes and glide faster. He warned her about "toe-picking" and advised her to use the blade of the ice skate. Soon, she seemed to get it the way she should and showed some fine tricks. It didn't do without falls, but practice only makes perfect.

* * *

"You know," Tony said as he handed Ziva her cup of mulled wine, "watching people skating is maybe more fun than doing it."

They were exhausted. Their muscles were sore, screaming in pain as consequence of the strain they had had to endure because of all the falls and unaccustomed physical activities caused by the unusual icy surface. After they'd had enough, they had given up and left the ice rink. Instead, they had sat down on the bench and observed people who were very skilful in skating as they glided over the ice with easiness.

Ziva smiled and accepted the cup from him, inhaling the smell of red wine, cinnamon, orange and star anise. "Cheers to that, Mr. I-fell-on-my-ass-five-times." She toasted with an amused smirk.

He groaned in pain as he sat down next to her, his butt aching because of the constant falls on the ice rink. He clinked his cup against hers to show that he didn't mind her teasing and sipped the mulled wine to warm himself up. "Feels it was more than five times."

She chuckled, rubbing her right leg. During one of her glides, she had somehow forgotten it behind her and pulled her muscles. "But I have to admit that it was fun." She confessed, nudging him slightly. "At least I know I'll never reach the gracefulness of Katarina Witt. But I can't also say I've never tried."

He smirked at the evident pride in her voice and swelling with pride himself at her level of talent, he caressed her hair gently. "Well, you certainly match her in beauty." He said with sincerity. "And for me, definitely surpassing her."

Her cheeks reddened, considering that Witt had posed for Playboy, pleased by his compliment about her beauty. Ever-so-slightly, he leaned in and captured her lips, and thoroughly kissed her since their mouths were probably the only parts of their bodies that didn't hurt. She returned the kiss with the same amount of passion, embracing his head to get closer to him as much as possible.

Their next steps, or trudging was better to say, led straight to the hotel. From the ice rink, they headed towards the Vltava River and followed it on the waterfront all the way to Charles Bridge. They had no intention to do anything more tonight. All their aching bodies wanted was to lie down and rest with a movie or a good book. And, of course, with some hearty food.

Ziva already had a plan what to do and so when they arrived to the hotel, she demanded to go first to the bathroom because she wanted to surprise him while he would be taking his own bath. Too tired to argue with her, he let her to use the bathroom and looked at the menu to see what food the hotel offered, because she had ordered him so. He agreed with her, because he had no strength to go outside and eat somewhere else.

He had enough energy to eat, though. Choosing grilled sausage with mustard, horseradish and bread for starters, old Czech roasted pork with potato dumplings and cabbage as the main course and apple strudel with ice cream and whipped cream for a desert, he was sure he would get fat and never get up from the bed. However, the food was so delicious and as long as she was with him, he didn't give a damn.

She slipped into the room already dressed in her night clothes, jotting down his order before pushing him into the bathroom quickly and closing the door behind him. Rubbing her hands, she checked the DVD collection to be sure that the movie she had in mind to watch with Tony was really there. Then, she looked at the menu, too, and chose the same meals as him, only for starters she went for pickled camembert with bread.

She ordered the dinner at the hotel's kitchen and went to prepare the bed for a movie night. She folded up the bed cover and put it on the bottom part of the bed. Taking two smaller pillows, she put them on the bed cover to support their aching feet. Rest of the pillows were thoroughly fluffed up and leaned against the headboard for the best watching position with the comforters thrown away, so they could nestle into the bed in each others' arms.

When he entered the room from the bathroom, he couldn't believe his eyes. The light in the room was dimmed and TV was obviously on just waiting for him to sit down and enjoy. The serving trolley was next to the bed, the smell of the delicious food wafting through the room. And on the bed, his precious girlfriend waited for him in a made up bed with a DVD cover in her hands.

"We're not going to watch porn, are we?" He asked with sort of hopefulness in his voice, but actually not believing that she would do it.

"No." She dismissed sternly and rolled her eyes. "We're going to watch a fairy-tale."

He smiled and winked to show that he was just teasing her and sat down next to her. "Great! My body is read for Dr. Seuss." He caressed the naked skin of her arm lovingly while giving sidelong looks to the serving trolley.

"We're not watching Grinch." She shook her head. "Considering our sightseeing tour today, I thought that it would be convenient to watch something related to the legends we spoke of. And that's when I remembered this Czechoslovakian movie from fifties. With English subtitles, of course."

" _The Emperor and the Golem_." Tony read the title on the DVD cover as she handed it to him, so he could look. "With Jan Werich*3 in the leading role..."

He thought deeply for a second, muttering Werich's name under his breath and then the proverbial light bulb appeared above his head as he realized why the name rang a bell to him. "I know this guy! He was supposed to play Blofeld in _You Only Live Twice*_ 4 _._ " He excitedly exclaimed as Ziva rolled her eyes at yet another Bond reference. "They even filmed a couple of scenes with him but then realized he was a miscast and so the role went to Donald Pleasence instead."

"Well, he certainly did justice to the Emperor." She intervened because he could talk about Bond for hours and she wanted him to focus on one particular Jewish legend.

" _The story of the movie takes us to Prague to the imperial court of Rudolf II. The emperor is more interested in arts, beautiful women and alchemy than ruling."_ She read the description on the DVD cover. _"Most of all, he desires to discover the elixir of youth and legendary Golem. While he is busy with his hobbies, supreme courtiers with chamberlain Lang in the lead team up with Rudolf's brother Matthias, who desires the imperial throne. However, due to unintentional exchange, a baker called Matěj becomes an emperor, because he looks very similar to Rudolf II., but he's only 25 years younger. He deals with treacherous courtiers, issues useful decrees and uses Golem's power for the commonweal."_

"So, we'll see Golem?" Tony asked almost breathlessly, not waiting anymore and pouring the beer into the mugs, because he was starving again.

"Indeed, we will." She smiled at him as he passed her the mug and her tray with picked camembert.

She sat back and pushed the play button. A blue screen with opening credits appeared, accompanied by a trumpet melody. Tony took his tray with grilled sausage and sat down on the bed next to her, sighing in delight when his back hit the fluffy pillows while his aching butt had finally something soft to sit on. This was heaven, though of another kind than making love to her, but still heaven.

The eccentric and capricious emperor immediately made them laugh with his obsession to find Golem and having destructive fits when he heard that Golem hadn't been found yet. His obsession with arts was also hilariously touched upon as there could be seen a line of twelve Mona Lisa paintings, about which all the sellers claimed that it had been the real one.

The discovery of the elixir of youth was assigned to alchemist named Scotta who discovered a cleaning product on the floors instead, demonstrating it in front of the emperor. That was base for another hilarious scene as he immediately slipped on it, then Rudolf's personal astrologist slipped too, and in the end, the emperor himself had the same bad luck.

The movie also followed the fate of a baker named Matěj, who was played by Werich, too, but being younger than the emperor. He was imprisoned for his deed of giving bread rolls specifically baked for Rudolf to the townspeople as they had been hungry. Through the vents in the dungeons he got to speak with Kateřina, a country girl that had secretly arrived at the castle with Magister Edward Kelley, an alchemist who'd accepted an invitation from the emperor. They fell in love with each other through the conversation without seeing one another.

In the meantime, Rudolf was showing Kelley around in the alchemist laboratory during which Tony couldn't stop laughing. All of the alchemists were charlatans. With Kelley's help, one of them presented a fake invisibility potion. Another one tried to make gold out of plums. Most hilarious one was an alchemist with a hammer who hit an anvil and then examined it with magnifying glass, claiming that he tried to split the atom of lead.

"I feel so sorry for Rudolf, you know?" Tony uttered between his chuckles as he held the fork with piece of dumpling in his hand. "He is fooled by everyone in the court into believing that alchemy and magic are actually working."

"Shhhhh..." She softly chuckled, putting her finger on his lips, effectively silencing him. "Just wait what happens next."

She was glad for his captivation by this particular movie, noticing that he was deeply intrigued and completely focused on the scenes. His observations about Rudolf were accurate, she agreed with him on that point. She felt sorry for the emperor, too, but at the same time it was also funny. She couldn't wait to see his reaction when Rudolf and Matěj would switch the roles.

Tony kissed the top of Ziva's head as they both continued laughing when it was revealed that Scotta used his equipment for cooking sausages, instead of discovering the elixir of youth. That made Rudolf to pressure him into performing a secret magic ritual, because Scotta made excuses of not having mandrake root which was really hard get and could be obtained only through the ritual.

The ritual dictated to stab a dog and Scotta was unable to do it, so Rudolf offered himself. However, having the same troubles as Scotta to kill an innocent creature, he closed his eyes and hit Scotta instead. Scotta yelped and ran, falling through the hole in the ground. And to the surprise of both, the cave Scotta fell into was a storage room for the long sought Golem.

However, Rudolf didn't have the Shem to awaken Golem and to distract him from trying to find it, Kelley presented him his homunculus*5 named Sirael. Sirael was no one else but Kateřina who put the whole performance to an act as Kelley coerced her to do so. The emperor was fascinated by her and wished to teach her all the knowledge in the world including love, much to the dismay of his mistress Countess Stradová who still had hopes of marrying to him.

Meanwhile, the intrigues to overthrow Rudolf and replace him with his brother Matthias started burning among the Rudolf's councillors (his chamberlain Lang, general Rusworm and his astrologist) with the help of Magister Edward Kelley. They wanted to use the Golem for it and after founding the Shem, they were able to awaken him. But because they realized that the Golem listened only to the one who gave him the Shem, they started to fight for power among themselves.

Their quarrels lead to the loss of the Shem as the dog, that had been supposed to be stabbed, stole it and they all chased after him. The first part of the movie ended with Scotta concocting the elixir of youth for Rudolf, which was actually a mixture of alcohol and morphine. In the same time the baker Matěj managed to escape the dungeons as a secret passage opened to him.

Taking their respective desserts, they nestled down in the bed for the second part of the movie. In the beginning, Rudolf drank Scotta's concoction but the amount of alcohol exhausted him and he fell asleep. Scotta was trying to disappear from the castle, knowing that his mixture couldn't work on the emperor, but the guards always stood in his way and refused to let him go.

In the meantime, Matěj finalized his escape and ended up in the emperor's room. Since he resembled Rudolf a lot, the servants mistook him and thought that the elixir of youth had worked, treating him as the rightful ruler and giving him a bath. Afterwards, they dressed him into Rudolf's clothes, leaving Matěj absolutely confused about what was going on.

He bumped into sleeping Rudolf in the next room and in an attempt to flee as he was afraid he could get arrested again, he shattered a mirror. The sound of shattering glass woke up the emperor and wondering if the elixir of youth had worked, he went to look at himself in the mirror. Matěj had no other chance but to pretend that he was the reflection, and Rudolf easily mistook him for his younger self.

Delighted with the outcome, not to mention drunk considering the composition of the elixir, Rudolf left the castle in carriage with his old loyal servant to recall the beauty of good old youth. Countess Stradová also assumed that the elixir had worked upon seeing Matěj and drank rest of the concoction, immediately trying to seduce her emperor. Matěj was embarrassed by her advances and was relieved when the countess fell asleep.

Taking her in his arms, he put her, with some difficulties, on the top of a two-story bed _("I've carried many sacks, but you're heavy as wet wheat!"_ )and left her there to rest. His gaze then fell upon Rudolf's painting and he finally realized his own resemblance to the emperor. He knew he had to utilize it for finding and saving Kateřina from Kelley's grasp. And so, he willingly started to pose as the emperor.

His decisions turned the court upside down as he didn't recognize the people, suggested to employ Golem for general welfare, dismissed Rudolf's astrologist, ordered to decrease nonsensical expenses, invited courtiers and townspeople to his table, took the bakery from its owner hands and gave it to the journeymen, simply he behaved nothing like Rudolf. Tony especially loved his comment about the line of Mona Lisas, stating that it was _"a good example how it would look if the women were all the same"._

During the 'hour of Sirael', he finally got to meet with Kateřina face to face, who was fed up with the entire charade. Thinking that she was talking to the emperor, she revealed that she already knew what love was as she was in love with Matěj, the baker. Matěj was very happy to hear it, although he still didn't reveal his true identity and attempted to kiss Kateřina instead.

She escaped his advances, though, and Matěj pursued her, bumping into Tyche de Brahe who was supposed to have an audience with the emperor, forcing Matěj to give up on pursuing Kateřina. Together, they headed to the lunch with chamberlain Lang, gathering all the people around them to let them eat on chamberlain's expenses. On their way there, Matěj also found the dog that played with a small ball, not knowing it was actually the Shem.

The lunch was comical. The conspirators poisoned Matěj's cup of wine, thinking they were about to kill the emperor, when Tycho de Brahe started a conversation about the planets and solar system according to Nicolaus Copernicus*6. To demonstrate the movement of planets, Brahe took all the cups and used them as planets, moving them around his own cup that substituted the Sun.

The conspirators tried to keep track of the poisoned cup but soon lost it. In the end, one of the cups was overturned and everyone, except Brahe and Matěj, fought for the now empty cup, knowing it couldn't be poisoned. Matěj claimed it for himself and toasted, watching as everyone else at the table was unwilling to drink. Luckily for all of them, no one got poisoned.

Scotta then made his entrance and invited Matěj to the laboratory to show him magic with plums. It wasn't another attempt to deceive poor Rudolf, but let him taste their new invention – slivovitz*7, a plum brandy. Other than that, Matěj got to meet with other alchemists who presented him his charlatan theories about constructing 'perpetual motion' or 'materializing the darkness'. Matěj considered all of those to be nonsense and rather advised to all the sages and scientists to come up with something helpful and effective. Something that would actually help normal people to make their jobs easier.

The conspirators decided to end Rudolf's reign once and for all, and agreed on meeting next day with each of them having a plan how to dethrone the emperor and take the Shem from him. Meanwhile, Matěj and Scotta revealed their true identities to each other. Scotta wasn't some Italian alchemist but normal Czech named Honza Skoták. And since he knew that his elixir couldn't have worked, he knew that Matěj couldn't be Rudolf.

Together, they found out that the ball the dog had been playing with was the Shem, and they awoke the Golem. Both were terrified upon seeing the massive giant brown creature alive with the black metal around its waist, glowing red eyes and steam evaporating from its head. They both realized that Golem was dangerous thing to play with and if the Shem went to wrong hands, it could be used as a weapon.

Kelley put in motion his plan when he pressured Kateřina (as Sirael) into killing the emperor, in exchange of saving Matěj, through poisoned rose the emperor loved to smell. Kateřina begged alleged Rudolf to free Matěj instead, ready to give herself to the emperor. Matěj finally revealed himself and delighted Kateřina quickly threw the rose away from him. Astrologist, who was listening behind the door and had also overheard Kelley's plans, opened the door and snatched it swiftly.

Kelley, who was listening behind the door, too, rushed into the room and started a fight with Matěj in attempt to take the Shem from him. When he'd claimed it, the astrologist sidled up to him and gave him the rose to smell, killing Kelley on the spot. In the meantime, Matěj, Kateřina and Scotta (who momentarily knocked out the astrologist) attempted to escape, but only Scotta and Kateřina got away.

Matěj was captured by the rest of the conspirators and took the torture chamber, strapped to the rack and interrogated by the chancellors about where the Shem was. Matěj was refusing to say a thing, though, as he had the Shem in his mouth. Most of all, he was having fun watching the chancellors fighting among themselves. Eventually, the astrologist managed to claim the Shem and ran to awaken the Golem.

However, chamberlain Lang lethally stabbed him, wanting to get the Golem for himself only. Rusworm then did the same to him and started to celebrate his victory. Nevertheless, as the Golem obeyed only the person who put the Shem in its head which was the deceased astrologist, it didn't listen to him and killed him instead. Then it went on rampage, destroying everything around it.

Meanwhile, Scotta and Kateřina aroused townspeople to help Matěj and they all rushed to the castle only to meet the raging Golem. Scotta craftily stopped him by using his cleaning product on the floors that was so slippery that even the Golem fell on the ground. Matěj, who appeared from the next room as he freed himself from the racks, pulled out the Shem from its head to stop the Golem entirely.

Afterwards, the emperor returned and demanded explanation. He offered Matěj his forgiveness if they took turns in ruling, so he could have more free time for his hobbies. Matěj refused, telling him that he had to historically disgrace himself first and others after him, as well, so people would finally realize that it would be the best if they ruled themselves.

Countess Stradová woke up and was enraged by the mess around, scolding Rudolf that he didn't behave like a rightful emperor. Crestfallen and tired Rudolf, who only wanted to be left in peace, forgave Matěj and gave him the Golem according to his wish. The Golem was installed in the bakery, where Matěj returned together with Kateřina, and was since then used for heating the furnaces, so bakers could bake more bread for everyone.

The movie ended with a view on Prague from the Prague Castle walls. Tony sighed in content and stretched his muscles, looking over at the sleeping female form next to him. He noticed a couple of minutes ago that she had barely managed to keep her eyes open, feeling all tired. And he didn't wonder, she had done a great job with her sightseeing tour so she had to feel exhausted.

And honestly, he felt worn out, too. The couple of hours of sleep he'd gotten over the past few days finally dawned on him. He simply needed more. He stood up from the bed and returned all their trays on the serving trolley, careful to be as quiet as possible so he wouldn't wake her up. He put the DVD back into its cover and turned the TV off, letting the room to fall into the silence.

He turned around and went back to the bed, tucking the comforter tightly around Ziva's body. She smiled in her sleep and he didn't resist caressing her face lovingly. It still felt like dream to him that she was going back to DC with him to actually _be_ with him. Switching the lights off, he nestled into the covers, as well, as close as he could next to his love and let the sleep seize his body.

_**The End of Chapter 15** _

* * *

*1 Karel Jaromír Erben (1811 – 1870) – Czech historian, poet and writer. Mentioned poem _Vodník (The Water Goblin)_ is part of one of his most famous collections of ballads _Kytice (Bouquet)_. Other than that, he collected and wrote many Slavic folk tales, legends and created many Czech fairy tales.

*2 Katarina Witt (1965) – retired German figure skater and one of the most successful figure skaters of all time. She is two-time Olympic champion, four-time World Champion and twice World silver medallist, and six-time European champion.

*3 Jan Werich (1905 – 1980) – Czech actor, playwright and writer. Together with Jiří Voskovec and Jiří Ježek, they immigrated to the United States to escape World War II. and remained active in their comedian efforts to please other Czech immigrants. Werich returned to Czechoslovakia after the war ended and created many unforgettable movies and literary works.

*4 You Only Live Twice (1967) – 5th movie of James Bond series starring Sean Connery. The main villain of the movie is Ernst Stavro Blofeld, the head of SPECTRE, fictional global criminal syndicate.

*5 Homunculus – representation of a small human being. It was popularized in 16th century by alchemists. Golem is actually a type of homunculus, only having the proportions of normal human being, sometimes even bigger.

*6 Nicolaus Copernicus (1473 – 1543) – Renaissance mathematician and astronomer, born in Royal Prussia (Kingdom of Poland) who formulated model of the universe that placed the Sun as the centre of the universe (and not Earth as many astronomers claimed until then).

*7 Slivovitz – plum brandy, alcoholic drink (with around 50% of alcohol) produced widely in Central and Eastern Europe. It's usually consumed at room temperature and it's very popular drink for homemade distillation.


	16. Chapter 16

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 16** _

They slept for hours as the much-needed sleep enveloped them with its deep darkness without dreams. Tony woke up first, his body sore from the ice-skating attempts yesterday but he couldn't care less. At some point during the night, he had spooned her from behind, their arms and legs tangled together so they created a human octopus. Her arms were tightly holding his as she held onto him with all her devotion.

He would stay like that forever, but basic biological needs were merciless and he needed to disentangle himself from her. He did so carefully, not wanting to interrupt her beauty sleep. Lingering with his gaze on her for another little while to admire how gorgeous she was, he retreated to the bathroom as Ziva turned on her other side, grasping the sheets between her hands.

Returning back to the room, he just stood there and watched her sleep for a few minutes. She was fascinating, he couldn't describe it well enough. She looked like a nymph from a fantasy movie. So fragile, yet so strongly feminine. So mysterious, yet so candid. She could kick the asses of countless men, yet she was breakable when someone hit the right spot to make her crumble.

He felt an unimaginable urge to protect her, although he knew that she could take care of herself and even to that degree that she could protect them both. But this was what love felt like and she seemed to embrace it. It had been a few days since they had been together as a couple, but she hadn't resisted hiding herself in his manly arms when she felt the need.

She was no longer the ice queen, yet she was the Ziva he knew and loved. She desired to be loved, showed to be loved and wasn't afraid to show the same amount of affection. And the most important thing of all – it seemed that she wanted to be like that. She finally found the right amount of love for herself. She forgave herself for her deeds and found enough self-respect towards herself.

He went over to the serving trolley, noticing the branch of mistletoe the staff put on it as a typical Christmas decoration. He broke a sprig of it and went back to the bed, leaning over the sleeping form. Lightly, he started to graze her face with the green leaves and pearl-like mistletoe berries, slowly but certainly waking her up in a very gentle and pleasant way.

Before her eyes opened, she leaned her faced into the caresses of the mistletoe sprig. Then, she looked up and he had to gulp when he saw the gaze she was giving him. He hadn't seen such deep devotion for a very long time. That genuine concern and interest directed towards him was almost something unfamiliar. People cared about him, yes. But they also had someone else to care about more deeply. While for her, he was the only one.

"Merry Christmas." He rasped, her charm stealing his breath.

She caught the hand in which he held the mistletoe branch, burying her nose into the plant to smell it. "Merry Christmas." She whispered back, lightly caressing his wrist with the back of her fingers.

He held the branch above her head to symbolically hang it over them. She looked at it and smiled, accepting his inviting lips with pleasure. His kiss sent her into the depth of love she'd become addicted to feeling. Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down and closer to her to feel him skin on skin, to immerse herself into the familiarity of his body and his smell.

He buried his fingers into her fair, loving to weave through it as he carefully put the mistletoe branch behind her ear. She tasted as deliciously as he remembered, although it'd been just a couple of hours since their last kiss. Their separation had taught him one important thing – cherish every single moment of intimacy with her, because it could also be the last one.

"Mmmmm... I love this tradition." She licked her lips after they broke the kiss and he leaned his forehead against hers.

"Me too." He agreed with a chuckle as he nudged her nose with his own.

She looked up at him, playing with his dishevelled hair softly. "Sorry I fell asleep last night."

"There's nothing to be sorry for." He clicked with his tongue disapprovingly. "You deserved your sleep. Besides, I went to sleep, as well, once the movie was over."

She smiled at him gratefully as he crawled on the bed and lay down next to her, still feeling the need to absorb the warmth of their bed. "And did you like the movie?" She asked out of curiosity, wanting to ascertain that he hadn't feigned his interested. She'd chosen the movie in hope for him to have fun.

"I did!" He confirmed, folding his arms behind his head as he stared at the ceiling. "It seems that your taste in movies has finally improved. As your teacher, I'll claim credit for that, of course."

She smacked his chest playfully to punish him for his teasing tone, while he tried to lock the laughter inside him. He took her hand that remained idly on his chest and kissed her fingers while she turned on her side to face him, putting the kissed hand behind her head for support. They stared at each other for a while in complete silence, just observing and admiring one another.

"When do we have to leave?" He chose a more serious tone, turning his head back to the ceiling with his hands clasped on his stomach as he played with his thumbs.

She sighed as the sudden wave of anxiety shot through her body and she mirrored his position, not wanting to look him in the eye. "The staff assured me that we can check out just before leaving to the airport. So, around 9 PM."

It felt so unbelievable that it was Thursday, December 24th, and that they had met only on Monday. Not only unbelievable, it was downright surreal. He'd surprised her by his desire to love her and she'd surprised herself by letting him lover her and by loving him back. She hadn't regretted the amount of trust she'd given him, and he hadn't regretted that he'd given her his heart.

Yet, she couldn't stop feeling the fear creeping into her mind. Being in Prague, just the two of them, meant to live in a fantasy, a fairytale coming true. Now, they were supposed to leave this city behind and open themselves to the world, and start dealing with real issues. It was frightening, to say the least. Not to mention that she was too afraid that once she would board the plane, this would show to be just a dream, just a trick of her mind to make her life more bearable during this time of the year.

Unbeknown to her, he was going through the same emotional torture. And he also noticed that she was quite anxious. "Is something wrong?" He asked carefully, turning his head slightly to see her.

She gave out a heavy sigh, cursing herself for feeling the way she did. "No. It's just...," she paused to try to find the right words to describe what was happening in her mind, "I don't want to leave because I'm afraid I'll wake up."

"And you'll realize that it was all just a dream..." He completed her sentence in understanding tone. "Same here."

She remained silent for a while, glad that she wasn't the only scared here. "Pathetic, aren't we?" She commented with a sarcastic chuckle, trying to lighten up the heavy atmosphere that settled in the room.

"No, we're not." He turned on his side to face her. "It's normal to feel fear. We've been deceived too many times, so it's just natural that we're cautious."

She turned on her side, too, caressing his face before raking his hair to soothe his unease, as well as her own. "This is uncharted territory for us." He continued, purring in delight in between. "For the first time in our lives, we'll stand against the world as a couple."

She wasn't able to fight the smile and the blush that crept into her cheeks. He always had a way with words, even when he quoted his favourite movies. "Together we're strong." She said, taking his hand and intertwining their fingers as if she was making a vow. "We can't go wrong."

He actually giggled at the wordplay she made and kissed her deeply to make them both forget about their fears and anxieties. Their Israel visit was supposed to be one of pleasure, not a troubling one. They could start worrying once they board the plane to the United States. Because he still refused to start thinking about it and plan how to deal with everything.

"So, how are we going to spend the time until we have to leave?" He asked her after releasing her lips, but not separating himself from her for even a millimetre.

"What about a slow, leisurely walk around the city just to soak up the beauty of it?" She suggested, having in mind that it could tire them enough to get some sleep in the plane.

He let out an affected groan. "I knew it would involve physical activity. Really one day, you're gonna be the death of me."

She chuckled in response, leaving the warmth of his body as she finally got up from the bed, ignoring another groan of protest from his mouth. "Well, I'm sure that there actually _exists_ certain physical activity you would die for."

She turned around and swaying her hips in a seductive manner, she shook down her sweatpants and pulled her tank top over her head, standing just in her lacy panties in front of him. She went into the bathroom, winking at him and beckoning him with her finger to make him come after her. He sat on the bed bedazzled and when he snapped out of his stupor, he stopped drooling and followed her into the bathroom.

Engaging themselves in a quite vertical sexual position had been exhausting, but it had been certainly worth it, considering they had slept for hours and had had enough fresh energy. Important was that they hadn't destroyed anything in the bathroom. It would be a little bit embarrassing to check out from hotel and leaving something broken behind them, especially due to a romantic encounter.

It wasn't until noon before they left the hotel for their unhurried walk. They had packed their belongings before they set off, just wanting to check if nothing was forgotten before leaving to the airport in the evening. They ordered taxi to the airport at 9 PM at the reception and left the hotel to step into the beautifully sunny, yet cold, day. They couldn't wish for better weather.

To their surprise, the area in front of the hotel was packed, busy and lively. The Christmas booth sales were opened, people were everywhere choosing and buying things. There were also newly built booths and the people behind them apparently served carp fish soup for free. Not going to miss that, they joined the line and wondered what this was all about.

Luckily, a couple in front of them overheard their conversation and explained to them the reasons of this tradition in which people from all over the city partook in. The soup had been primarily served on Christmas Eve to the homeless people since Czechs call Christmas Eve a "Generous Day", thus a day when people should be generous to each other.

Over the time, though, tourists had joined and many Prague residents, as well, expanding the tradition. Prague politic representatives had started to engage, too, as they were the ones pouring the soup, considering this tradition as a good opportunity to meet with residents and personally wish them a happy holiday season. And it wasn't taking place just here, on Kampa Island, but also on the Wenceslas Square and the Old Town Square where the Prague Mayor herself poured the fish soup for everyone.*1

The atmosphere among attendees was very friendly and affable. Even though the soup was practically free, many people donated anyway. The money was later given to chosen charity to fund its interests, mostly to concerning homeless, disabled and socially disadvantaged families. Both Tony and Ziva gave their money, too, enjoying this beautiful tradition and soaking up the generous Christmas spirit.

And the soup was worth it since the taste was divine. As they had been informed, the organizers of the Christmas markets had their own traditional recipe. The basis was a strong broth made out of 300 kilos of carp bodies and 50 kilos of carp heads. Over 100 kilos of root vegetables fried in butter were used, just as fish eggs, roux*2, cognac and caramel. To refine the taste, a cream was added into the soup and the imaginary cherries on top were crispy croutons.

Satiated by the soup and giving their 'Merry Christmas' wishes to everyone they had made an eye contact with, they went further to explore the Kampa Island. They took a minute to go around Liechtenstein Palace*3 and take some pictures of the Charles Bridge right on the bank of Vltava River. The view was spectacular and they revelled in the serenity of the sweet moment for a couple of minutes.

Then, they returned back on their route, entering the park on Kampa Island. They passed by a house called Villa Werich which they both found intriguing, considering the movie with Jan Werich they had seen last night. As it seemed, Werich had lived there for 35 years after the end of World War II. Other sources also cited the name of the house as Dobrovský house, after another inhabitant Josef Dobrovský*4, Czech philologist and historian and one of the most important figures of the Czech National Revival whose bust stood in front of the house.

They kept walking through the park straight ahead, breathing in the winter air and watching dog keepers walking their dogs that had quite fun in the snow. Some of the cheerful dogs even trotted to them and demanded to be pet, which they did after the owner's permission. The park was really nice and tranquil with a museum and couple of interesting sculptures like bronze babies*5 or sitting girl.

When they exited the park, they turned right and passed by a residence Tony commented on as a nice place to live, earning a teasing remark from Ziva that they might just do that. He laughed it off as to not give her any ideas, although he didn't have anything against retiring somewhere nice and quiet after the time would come. They continued through the street, getting to the main one with another giant park ahead.

That park spread out around a Petřín Hill and Ziva suggested going up by a funicular, at first. After finding out that it was out of order due to the reconstruction of one of the funicular stations, Ziva coaxed Tony to try it on foot and stretch their sore muscles. And so they went up in a slow, leisurely pace, resting when they needed and looking around themselves to enjoy the winter nature and the spectacular view below them.

Their first longer stop was at monument of Karel Hynek Mácha*6 a Czech romantic poet. And it wouldn't be Ziva-the-tour-guide if she didn't inform him about this interesting person as both his persona and his work were connected to the Petřín Hill. Not only he was born near the hill, but his principal work _'Máj'_ (May), one of the most prominent works of Czech literature, had given a birth to a unique Czech tradition of celebrating the love on May 1st, in the time of Beltane*7.

The poem was a classic tragic piece about a love triangle. The feared leader of robber's gang named Vilém killed his rival in love without knowing that it had been his own father, who had banished him out of his house when Vilém had been a child. In the meantime, his loved one named Jarmila waited in vain for him in the evening on May Day, eventually learning about Vilem's fate and his imprisonment for the patricide from one of his comrades.

While waiting in prison for his execution, Vilém mulled over his fate, saying goodbye to his life and recalling his love Jarmila. He refused his guilt as he saw himself as a victim of a selfish, loveless father. His jailor sympathized with him, devastated by Vilém's fate. After hours full of soliloquy where death appeared as the definitive end of life, the unhappy patricide was taken to the place of execution with a praying crowd in tow.

In the middle of May nature, Vilém bid teary farewell to his beloved country and was decapitated. His mangled limbs were displayed in a wheel fastened to a pillar, and his head was placed on the top of the pillar. A few years later, a traveller named Hynek (representing Mácha himself) came across Vilém's pallid skull and, interested in the story, he heard what the history behind it was from an innkeeper. After some further travelling, Hynek was still drawn to the place, so he returned on May Day, comparing his own life that the month of May.

This beautiful, tragic poem, together with the breathtaking beauty of Petřín Hill Park had established a tradition many couples in Prague practice every May Day. According to the tradition, that isn't practiced in Prague only, of course, every woman should be kissed under a cherry blossom tree so she wouldn't wither in the upcoming year. Another theory says that the kiss ensure the woman's beauty for another year to come.

Since kisses used to be regarded as a very intimate gesture, a woman could be kissed only from her beloved. And so, every May Day, Petřín Hill Park is full of couples in love, kissing each other under cherry blossom trees and worshipping their love this way. This tradition became popular in the Czech Republic specifically after the Velvet Revolution in 1989 to expel the memories on a Socialists way to celebrate May Day as an International Workers' day*8.

"We certainly have to find a cherry blossom tree in DC when the time comes, because I'm definitely going to start with this tradition." Tony commented, taking Ziva by her chin and immediately kissing her.

She giggled in response, wrapping her arms around his waist to keep herself standing. She truly enjoyed these little, yet so significant, intimate moments. They went on in their hairpin-bend-climb up, reaching one of the vantage points on the hill, where they stopped to admire the city below them. Spotting some of the buildings they had passed by on their walks through Prague in the last few days, they fell into nostalgic silence.

They decided to have some late lunch in the restaurant next to the vantage point, considering that it was luckily opened. It wasn't the cheapest one, but the slow roasted leg with cherries of Venison, nuts and potato cakes, was so sinfully delicious that Tony didn't mind paying more than he was used to. Besides, the price for the meal was compensated by the gorgeous view on Prague Castle.

After the lunch, they continued going up and bumped into another spot of interest, so-called Hunger Wall. It didn't surprise them to find out that it was built by no one else but Charles IV. as a defensive wall to strengthen the fortifications of Prague Castle. It runs from the foot of Petřín Hill up around the whole park towards the castle, protecting it from any kind of attack from west or south.

The name of the wall was tied to a legend, of course. At the time of its completion, there was a famine outbreak in Prague and Charles IV. supposedly called for Prague's poor people to join the construction and earn money for food. It was believed that even Charles IV. himself put on a worker's smock and worked alongside the poor and builders on the wall a couple of hours a day.

The wall used to have battlements and advanced towers with regular garrison of shooters. Those were continuously trained in shooting, freed of paying taxes and made their living by selling bows and crossbows on fairs. Charles' son Wenceslaus IV.*9, confirmed them these privileges and even allowed them to build their own houses between the towers and set up small gardens.

Walking right next to the wall, they finally reached the top of the hill, breathing heavily and entering the Rose Garden. Ziva showed him some pictures so he would see how the garden looked like in full bloom and he had to admit that it looked gorgeous. He was determined more than ever to visit this city in all other seasons, as well. It had so much to offer and yet, to keep the beauty of the hidden mystery.

In one of the corners of the Rose Garden, there was a labyrinth painted on the ground as homage to the labyrinth in Chartres Cathedral in France. They both tried to walk through it, Ziva from the middle and Tony from the beginning to see who would get lost first and when they would meet. And their collision was sealed with a kiss, of course, no matter who was possibly faster to finish the labyrinth.

From there, they passed Štefánik's observatory that was opened to the public since 1928 and popularized astronomy among people. It was named after Milan Rastislav Štefánik*10, one of the founders of independent Czechoslovak state. There was also his statute in front of the observatory's sundial, a man in aviator's clothes as Štefánik used to be an aviator during World War I. for French army.

Tony cast yearning glances at the cupolas of the observatory, wishing that they would be opened, but as the day was nearing towards the evening, it was visible that Christmas Eve dinner was the main topic here. They left the Rose Garden, went by the closed funicular station and headed towards the Baroque Cathedral of Saint Lawrence, taking some nice pictures of the red-brownish building.

Right opposite the Cathedral, there was a building that looked like a miniature castle. It used to be a part of a wooden pavilion built for General Land Centennial Exhibition*11 in 1891 where it represented a Czech Tourist Club. Now, it serves as a House of Mirrors, an attraction for both regular visitors and tourists. Tony's face lit up and luckily for them, it was still open.

It was miraculous as the mirrors inside could blow up the small building and made it so large. They laughed at their modified reflections in the "hall of laughter" which was a hall of numerous distorting mirrors, changing their forms into unbelievable proportions. Their reward for making it out of the house of mirrors was the diorama, a 3D full-size model depicting the fight of Prague citizens against Swedes on the Charles Bridge during Battle of Prague in 1648.

Still laughing and mocking each other in a teasing tone, they headed towards one of the main reasons why Ziva had directed their steps here. Petřín Lookout Tower, one of the 'modern' dominants of Prague loomed over them, promising a breathtaking, spectacular view on the whole city below. And open to public on this day, too, just as the House of Mirrors.

"Looks like the Eiffel Tower." Tony remarked, leaning his head to the side in contemplation.

Ziva rolled her eyes and awarded him with a sarcastic clap of hands. "What an insightful observation, DiNozzo." She teased with a chuckle. "That's because it _is_ a free copy of the Eiffel Tower."

She informed him about the history of the tower, the members of the Czech Tourist Club had gone to Paris in 1889 and had been completely impressed by the tower that they had decided to build a similar one in the Czech lands, too. And so, Petřín Lookout Tower had been opened to the public in 1891. Today, it reaches to the height of 63,5 metres. The core of the construction is an octagonal tube with an elevator inside. Two spiral staircases of 299 stairs twine around the tube with two outlook platforms.

Without a further ado, they paid for the entrance and started to climb up the stairs, resting for a while at the first outlook platform. What they saw made them excel themselves and climb the rest of the stairs because the view was damn worth it. Not only did the stairs take their breath, but what they saw, did as well. It was Prague on a silver platter, offered to them with a smile of the approaching sunset.

They could see all the buildings they had passed on their way here, as well as the garden and park that spread into distance. The snow sparkled as the sun rays touched it delicately, shining through the leafless trees. Even though it was a sunny day, the city was veiled in a strange grey-blue fog, contrasting with the azure blue sky above them. They could only imagine how far they could see when the weather was convenient enough.

The Vltava River bit into the landscape around it, weaving its way through the city, encircling Prague Castle. They could see the street in which they had been standing a few days ago when Tony had revealed the truth about Mishnev, and the large garden below that was covered with a white blanket of snow. The whole Malá Strana looked picturesque with the white roofs where some of the original colours found their way through the snow.

The main sight was Prague Castle, of course. With a view like that, one could finally appreciate the size of the whole complex and actually feel good for being able to visit at least part of it. Saint Vitus Cathedral dominated the view, rising above everything in the sight. They spent long minutes there, just taking in the splendour around in each other's company.

Walking down the stairs eventually, their next steps were directed to another vantage point in the park below Strahov Monastery*12. Whatever place they stood, the view was never getting old and it could never be enough. There was something about Prague Castle that just drew the eyes towards it and brought a completely new scene. And every single time, it stole a breath of those who were looking at it.

Ziva suddenly released the breath she was holding. "It's the Nicholas Winton Orchard*13." She realized, remembering the pictures she had seen in newspapers a while ago.

"Nicholas Winton, Nicholas Winton..." Tony mulled over aloud, "that name does ring a bell."

"He was so-called 'British Schindler'." She explained, feeling no need to expand on who Oskar Schindler, a man who saved the lives of 1,200 Jews during the Holocaust, was. He had surely seen _Schindler's List_ movie at least dozen times.

"He rescued 669 children, most of them Jewish, from Czechoslovakia on the eve of the Second World War, transported them and found them new homes and new families in Britain." She informed him further with noticeable respect towards the man in her voice.

"Oh right!" He snapped his fingers, finally recalling why the name was familiar to him. "And he didn't tell anyone about it until his wife found the documents in the attic and gave them to some historian. Then they brought it to BBC and invited him to some show, as well as some of the children they found without him knowing, so they could meet."

He fell silent as he remembered watching the scenes from BBC television programme: _That's Life!_ airing in 1988 when the host had asked if anybody in the audience owed their lives to Nicholas Winton, and asked them to stand up. The pleasant shock on the old man's face and gratefulness in the eyes of those 'children' who had been already adults by that time, was overwhelming.

"Yeah, I saw that." He gulped as only a man without heart wouldn't be touched by those scenes. "That was pretty emotional."

Then it hit him that the scenes were quite old and he had seen it a short time ago. "Didn't he die recently?" He turned to her with a question on his lips.

"This July." She nodded simply. "Aged 106. The apple trees here in the orchard were planted to commemorate his 100th birthday."

"What a man." He commented and she hummed in agreement.

Together, they stood there and watched Prague sinking into the darkness of the evening. Soon, they could see people switching on the lights in their homes as the windows of the buildings below them coloured in a typical shade of yellow. When the street lightings began to illuminate the dusky streets, it created a delightful view on the Prague Castle as the main features were highlighted by special lights.

"We should go back. It's getting dark." She told him, taking his hand into hers and with reasoning that they should eat something, take a shower, relax after the hike and pack the rest of their things, they headed back to the hotel. They returned back to the park and took the stairs down the street that lead them to the centre of the city, passing by another set of beautiful buildings and palaces, like Lobkowicz Palace which was the seat of the Embassy of Germany.

To Tony's excitement, they also passed by Schönborn Palace, a current seat of the Embassy of the United States of America since 1925. He was ecstatic when he read a memorial plague next to the entrance with the inscription _The writer, FRANZ KAFKA lived and worked in this building in 1917 – American Embassy Prague_. He couldn't believe that even at the day of his leaving, he was still running across the mentions of this writer.

"He lived here?" He was only able to ask incredulously, looking at Ziva to give him some proper answer. This was a coincidence he couldn't ignore. Prague, Christmas, Kafka and Ziva – they were all connected.

She held her hand up to sign him to wait as she searched in her phone for some information. Almost exclaiming 'eureka' when she found her English translations of almost everything about Kafka in her documents, which she had obtained from her school mates, always reading them through when she had nothing to do, she smiled and started to read Kafka's letter to his fiancée Felice.

" _I went into the real estate office where they almost immediately told me about an apartment in one of the most beautiful palaces. Two rooms, hallway, from which one half was adapted as a bathroom. 600 crowns per year. It was like a dream come true. So, I went there. The rooms were tall and beautiful, red and gold, almost like in Versailles. Four windows to the quiet hidden courtyard, one window to the garden. What a garden! When you go into the gate of the palace, you almost don't believe what you see. Through high arc of the second gate flanked by caryatids, you see a garden sloping down slowly and majestically, nicely divided by ramified stony staircase._

_But the apartment has one small flaw. The former occupant, a young man living apart from his wife, lived here with his servant only a few months, and was suddenly transferred (he is a government employee), and had to leave Prague. In this short time, though, he invested a lot of money into the apartment and doesn't want to give it so easily. He is seeking for someone who can pay the costs, partially at least, of installing electricity, bathroom furnishings, telephone line and tapestry on the wall. I wasn't that someone. He wanted (and certainly not much) 650 crowns. That was too much for me, and also the excessively high costs were too much luxurious for my taste. And moreover, I don't have any furniture, anyway. Those were other things I took into account._

_Nevertheless, there was another apartment in the same palace, which is rented directly by the palace's janitor, on the third floor, with rather low ceilings, view into the narrow street with Hradčany just a bit away from the windows. Friendlier, more human, furnished with modesty – one young countess used to live there as a guest, apparently with quite humble demands. There were still furnishings fitting to a young girl. I worried if it was still available. It made me a bit desperate."_

"He eventually moved here but the fact that the rooms weren't heated enough during winter most likely caused his tuberculosis, and so Kafka went straight to sanatorium after couple of months." She wrapped it up as he continued to stare at the building in awe.

She eventually made him to move from the spot as they carried on in their way turning right when they reached the end of the street, going across and taking another street to the left. When they turned right once again, Tony finally started to be oriented, knowing that they were nearing John Lennon Wall. And from there, it was just a couple of steps to their hotel.

At the reception, they ordered their last meals, a chicken broth with meat and noodles and roasted duck, dumpling mix and cabbage. While waiting for the food, they both showered and packed the rest of the necessities they hadn't packed yet. Then, they dined the delicious meal and eventually, they lay down to rest and regenerate their bodies for the flight.

By 9 PM, they checked out of the hotel, thanking the staff to their wonderful hospitality with a promise that if they ever return to Prague, this hotel will be their first choice. They received small packages as Christmas gifts which they accepted with embarrassment as they hadn't expected such generosity. So, they left a generous tip to the staff to express their thanks.

Climbing into the waiting taxi, they started their way to the airport in silence, just observing the dark city. Once at the airport, it seemed as if they entered completely different world. Gone was the tranquillity of Christmas, gone was the magic of medieval buildings and the beauty of the dream they were living. This was raw, real world with all the necessary commotion.

Without hurry, they found where they could check in the luggage and went to explore the terminal, just walking around. In the end they headed to the security check, entering the transit area and just waiting for the flight ready to take off. When the time came and they were allowed into the plane, Tony let Ziva to sit at the window as he rather didn't want to fall into some depressive nostalgia and keep looking wistfully outside.

She sensed his agitation as he squirmed in his seat while the plane started to move, heading to the runway. "Are you comfortable?" She asked him with worry, touching his arm soothingly.

He gave out a deep sigh, looking in front of him as the flight attendants performed their obligatory instructions in case of any problems during the flight. "Yeah, I am. I just... Flights to and out of Israel just don't bring good memories, that's all." He answered as the plane stopped at the end of the runway, heating up the engines and setting off for the takeoff.

She understood his nervousness because when she imagined herself in his shoes, he'd always arrived to Israel with unclear expectations and left with a heavy heart and a feeling of loss. She ran her fingers down his arm until she reached his hand and opened it to intertwine their fingers and offer him the support. "Don't worry, Tony. We will be okay."

He snapped his head at her in an instant, his eyes wide as the memory of her saying those same words sank in his mind. But back then, it had been just his fantasy. She hadn't said those words because she hadn't been sitting in the plane with him. She had worn a green pullover while now she had a creamy turtleneck on. Her hair had been curly, wild and combed to one side. Now, she had a ponytail. His fantasy hadn't been the same as reality.

He smiled at her, especially when he assured himself that she wasn't an apparition and kissed her deeply. Then, he finally relaxed and eventually fell asleep as the dim plane pushed its way through the sky towards the Middle East. Their hands remained joined for the comfort of feeling one another. Ziva watched him for a couple of minutes, just observing him with love.

It was a night flight and so most of the passengers used the time to sleep, as well. Ziva, however, wasn't one of them as her mind was working too fast to be able to doze off. She couldn't help but recall everything that had happened over the last few days and how she'd gained the one thing she'd wanted so much, but thought she'd lost a long time ago. It was a good lesson to never underestimate Fate.

" _Sometimes, fate is a like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn."_

She smiled secretly and looked out of the window as she remembered the quote from Japanese author Haruki Murakami*14 and his book _Kafka on the Shore_. It wasn't exactly about Franz Kafka, who had been a shadowy company of their Prague tours, but the book was deeply influenced by his writings and the main character was named after him. And it was so convenient to what she was experiencing these last few years.

" _Why? Because this storm isn't something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. The storm is you. Something inside of you."_

She couldn't but agree with such a statement. In the end, her greatest enemy was herself. Her fear, her worries, her decisions and her inability to open up when she was supposed to, had squandered her chance for happy life. Once, she had stated that she had never depended on happy endings. But because she had never strived enough for one. She had given up before the real fight could have even begun or what she'd had hadn't been destined for happy ending, anyways.

" _So, all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn't get in, and walk through it, step by step. There's no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That's the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine."_

And she could imagine it because she had decided to walk into one. Not even two and half years ago, she'd left everything she cared for behind in order to deal with the greatest enemy she'd ever faced – herself. She'd no idea what she was getting into, but deep inside she'd known that it had been the right decision. No matter the costs, she'd needed to free out of the grasp of her own fears.

" _And you really will have to make it through the violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You'll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others."_

Pain. That feeling was all too familiar to her. Not just the pain she'd felt due to the loss she'd suffered. But she'd also felt the pain of the others who'd been hurt by her leaving. It'd been one of the greatest tests, but her resilience had proved that she'd chosen the right moment to step inside the storm to end it once and for all. She hadn't done it only for herself, but also for others, no matter whether they had appreciated or not.

" _And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about."_

She wasn't the same person anymore, she agreed with that. She firmly believed that she'd been able to eliminate all the bad traits of the 'old Ziva' while maintaining the core, the very sole uniqueness, that was her. Tony's admiration towards her change, his trust and belief in her, had proved her enough that she'd been successful and the storm might be finally behind her.

She knew she would have to experience similar storm once again, once she would step back on the US soil. But she was ready more than ever. A man whose heart had been shattered to million pieces after her departure had forgotten her because the love he felt for her had survived. And if this love could survive, then everything else could, as well. All she needed to do was to patch up the holes.

_**The End of Chapter 16** _

* * *

*1 Just a note – this is not a political agitation, just a simple stating of facts. I am actually quite dissatisfied with the current leadership of Prague, mainly with certain representatives such as Mayor of Prague herself, or her Deputy Mayor of Prague who keeps coming with the worst ideas I have ever heard about. At least once a week I shake my head at his "revolutionary thoughts". Rant over.

*2 Roux – mixture of flour and fat (butter, oil) used to thicken sauces (béchamel sauce, for example), gravy, soups and stews.

*3 Liechtenstein Palace, a baroque palace, was built in the second half of 17th century. Nowadays, it belongs to the government of the Czech Republic and it was rebuilt to luxurious apartments for significant state visits. Statesmen such as Spanish King Juan Carlos with his wife Sofía, British Queen Elizabeth II. with her husband Philip and their son Charles, or Japanese Emperor Akihito with his wife Michiko were accommodated there.

*4 Josef Dobrovský (1753 – 1829) – he didn't directly participated in the Czech National Revival and was very sceptic about Czech language's chance to compete with German (he wrote only in German), however he did consider himself as a Slav and supported the revival group around Josef Jungmann. Among others, he wrote _Detailed Grammar Book of Czech Language, German-Czech Vocabulary_ and _Basics of Old Church Slavonic_ (basic book of Slavic studies).

*5 Babies are made by contemporary Czech sculptor David Černý (born 1967). Among his famous pieces belong Statue of St. Wenceslas riding a dead horse, Statue of Sigmund Freud hanging by one hand, babies that are attached to Žižkov Television Tower, Peeing Statues, METALmorphosis (displayed in Charlotte, North Carolina, USA), Entropa or London Booster (a double-decker bus with mechanical arms for doing push-ups) that was displayed in front of the Czech House during 2012 Summer Olympics in London.

*6 Karel Hynek Mácha (1810 – 1836) – due to his age he became famous after his death that was caused by cholera, most likely caught while he was trying to put out a fire he witnessed. Although young, he wrote many works but only _Máj_ became his significant work and highly regarded piece of Czech literature.

*7 Beltane – Gaelic May Day festival that marked beginning of summer. Various rituals to protect the cattle, crops, and people were performed, as well as special bonfires to protect people from harm, both natural and supernatural. Lovers used to have meetings in the forest as May was usually the celebration of love.

*8 International Workers' Day – this day belonged to one of the most important ones in Easter bloc countries. Mass parades were organized through the cities, often in front of the local communist politicians. The participation was unofficially obligatory with supervisors and teachers controlling their subordinates and students if they weren't avoiding their duty.

*9 Wenceslaus IV. of Bohemia (1361 – 1419) – King of Bohemia and King of Germany. Son of Charles IV. and his third wife Anna von Schweidnitz. Married twice to Joanna of Bavaria and Sofia of Bavaria. Both marriages without children. His rule isn't highly remembered since political crisis only deepened after his death. He was but a shadow of his famous father. He tried to appease too many sides, eventually rather running away from solving troubles. Nevertheless, he was well-educated, knowledgeable and good companion.

*10 Milan Rastislav Štefánik (1880 – 1919) – Slovak politician, diplomat and astronomer. Supporter of the idea of Czechoslovakism, and together with Tomáš Garrigue Masaryk and Edvard Beneš one of the founders of independent Czechoslovakia that came into being in 1918 after World War I. He died in a plane crash when he was returning home to Slovakia.

*11 General Land Centennial Exhibition (1891) – World's fair held in Prague. Many buildings were built for this exposition such as Industrial Palace or Křižík's light fountain, just as Petřín Lookout Tower.

*12 Strahov Monastery – Premonstratensian abbey founded in 1143. The complex includes well-known library with beautiful frescos, similar to those that are in Klementinum.

*13 Sir Nicholas George Winton (1909 – 2015) – British humanitarian, knighted by Queen Elizabeth II. for services to humanity, in saving Jewish children from Nazi-occupied Czechoslovakia and holder of the highest honour of the Czech Republic, the Order of the White Lion. 370 of the 669 children have never been traced and so their fate is a mystery. Most of their biological parents perished in concentration camps later on. Since the revelation of his deeds, he has been commemorated many ways, including a 1999 movie _All My Loved Ones_ , starring Rupert Graves as Nicholas Winton, a documentary _The Power of Good: Nicholas Winton_ and a documentary drama _Nicky's Family_.

*14 Haruki Murakami (1949) – Japanese writer, winner of World Fantasy Award, Franz Kafka Prize and Jerusalem Prize. His works are usually surrealistic and Kafkaesque. I can highly recommend him for everyone interested in this type of literature. Though, I haven't read _Kafka on the Shore_ , yet (it's on my bucket list, though), I've read _After Dark_ book and was mesmerized instantly.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 17** _

Tony impatiently shuffled around in the plane's corridor, wanting to get out. The flight was okay, he had slept a couple of hours peacefully but now the agitation was back. It was almost half past four in the morning when their plane had landed and he felt that something was off. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that this very tarmac had been a witness of the hardest 180 and one of the hardest goodbyes of his life.

Ziva put a hand on his back to comfort him for which he was grateful because he knew that he was making her nervous with his behaviour as well. "Are you okay?" She asked him for assurance, hoping that he didn't have some strange case of airsickness after the landing.

"Yeah..." he shrugged with his shoulders, "I just feel that something is... not quite right."

Finally, the line had moved and they slowly neared the exit, walking down the steps and stepping on the tarmac illuminated by the lights as it was still dark. Ziva wanted to go over to the gathering people, waiting for the bus to arrive to take them to the arrivals hall. But the groan he let out made her stop. He stood next to the mobile stairway and was looking in completely different direction.

"That's what I was talking about." He commented at the pair of approaching agents in suits.

She assessed the situation quickly, seeing the black car with tinted windows not far away from the plane and the two agents striding towards them determinedly. _Mossad._ Typical escort sort of agents looking all cliché to add up to the popular opinion of normal people how a secret agent should look. This was made for a show, not to secretly transfer someone from the airport without anyone knowing.

"Agent Anthony DiNozzo from NCIS?" One of the agents asked in for Israeli accent, and Ziva came to the conclusion that she knew neither of those two. And they apparently didn't know her, maybe only by her name but not looks, considering they were focused solely on Tony.

"Yeah, that would be me." Tony replied casually, not even wondering that they hadn't shown their ID cards. "And it's _Special_ agent Anthony DiNozzo, thank you."

Neither of the agents looked amused by this attempt of a joke, keeping their faces straight. "You're coming with us." The other agent stepped aside to clear the way to the car, inviting Tony to get in it.

Tony was about to retort sarcastically what an unexpected turn of events had crossed his path, when Ziva stepped in with annoyance dripping from her voice. "He isn't going anywhere. He arrived here as a civilian, not a federal agent. You have no right to take him in."

Their expressions remained stoic and their eyes were still locked on Tony, completely ignoring Ziva's presence. "Our orders from the Director herself were loud and clear." One of them stated. "We are supposed to pick up agent DiNozzo at the airport and bring him to the headquarters."

"Lekh tezdayen.*1" Ziva spat out angrily, hating the ignorance she had been treated with.

Both agents snapped their heads at her, feeling offended with her words, one of them even reaching for his gun to prepare to use it if necessary. Apparently he had no idea against whom he was standing against because she could disarm him at any second. It actually didn't matter to Ziva whether they knew who she was. Their ignorant behaviour to her as a woman was insulting enough.

"Whoa, can everybody calm down?" Tony spread out his arms in a conciliatory manner upon hearing the viciousness in Ziva's voice and seeing the reaction of the agents.

"It's okay, honey, I'll go with them." He turned to Ziva who was about to protest, so he put a finger to her lips to shush her. "I expected it anyway, so don't needlessly fuss about it."

She nodded in surrender, but didn't give up entirely. "Okay, but I'm coming with you." She objected. "There's no way I'm letting you meet her alone."

The determination in her voice told him that there was no chance to argue with her, even though he knew that this was a courtesy call at Mossad's HQ, not an interrogation. "Any objections against her accompanying me?" He turned to the agents and waited for the verdict.

They looked at each other and both shrugged their shoulders in disinterest. "No."

"Fine." Ziva rubbed her hands and made her way towards the car. "Could you arrange that our luggage will be picked up and delivered to this address?" She asked excessively politely, showing an address written on her phone to one of the agents.

He blinked at her in surprise, not quite being sure if she was supposed to boss him around. But since his Director's orders also included taking care of the luggage of the man they were supposed to escort, he conceded. "Consider it done."

With a self-satisfied smile, Ziva got on the car and Tony, with a resigned shake of his head, did the same. The agent contacted his fellow agent to take care of the luggage, dictating the address and giving other orders in Hebrew. And as the bus with the other passengers left for the arrivals hall, the black car made its way out of the Ben Gurion International Airport and into the streets of Tel Aviv.

* * *

The streets were empty at this hour so the ride to the Mossad's headquarters didn't take too long. Tony suspected that they could have been there even earlier, if the agents hadn't taken so many turns and other questionable ways to get there, presumably to disorient their passengers. It was funny to him, considering that he was sitting in a car with a daughter of former Mossad's director who knew where the headquarters was and would be able to find the way there blindfolded.

Nevertheless, it was shortly before 5 AM when he was sitting in a meeting room at Mossad's HQ with a glass of water in front of him. Ziva was still pretty much annoyed so she paced around the room, muttering under her breath in Hebrew with her arms crossed much to his amusement. At least, the arrival in here hadn't brought any bad memories as she had been too occupied with her grumbling.

"Could you please stop walking to and fro like a tiger in a cage and sit down?" He begged her not because she was unnerving him, but because he was afraid he might burst out laughing in an inappropriate moment. She was damn cute with her unnecessary irritation.

"No." She snapped. "Because this is unacceptable. She has no right to drag you in here and question you!"

He sighed wearily, rubbing his forehead. He had the impression that her anger had actually nothing to do with him being here, but more with the fact that she took it as meddling with her life from an outsider. She wanted to use it as an excuse for picking a fight with Orli. What reasons she had, he didn't know. Maybe she still had the need to prove something, but why he really didn't understand.

"And I think you're overreacting." He objected, lowering his eyes to hide from the glare she threw at him.

She opened her mouth to retort to his comment but stopped when she heard the approaching steps. The clicking of stiletto heels was unmistakable and she quickly hid behind the door, so Orli wouldn't see her once she was through the door. Tony only put his hand on his forehead, shaking his head in disbelief and wondering what kind of cat-and-mouse-game he had gotten himself into.

The door opened and a woman in black suit dress and grey blazer jacket came in, her long hair framing her face and with her make up neatly and perfectly done. It didn't even look as if she had been pulled out of bed just now. Quite the contrary, it seemed that she was just entering normal work day of the Director of Mossad, no matter what kind of early hour it was.

"Tony, it's so good to see you again." She smiled at him warmly, greeting him informally to signal that this visit really was a courtesy call and nothing more.

Tony stood up and went to shake her hand. "The pleasure is all mine, Dir-" he cut himself off for a moment and licked his lips, "Orli." He corrected his greetings with a smile.

"Please, do sit down." She invited him with a simple gesture of her hand, taking a seat at the table opposite of him. He did as she asked, doing all his best not to reveal Ziva's presence until she would be ready.

Orli's smile slightly faded away as she put her hands on the table, thinking about the best tactics how to start. "I hope that ever-" She began after a while of silence, only to be interrupted by a loud clearing of someone's throat.

She looked over her shoulder, seeing as Ziva stepped out of the shadows, her arms crossed across her chest in a defensive gesture. "Ziva." Orli nodded in her direction, beaming. "Now, that's what I call a pleasant morning."

"I wish I could say the same." Ziva retorted, her stare hard as a rock.

Orli expected a somewhat cold behaviour. But this was open hostility and she didn't see any reason why Ziva would feel that way. "I'm sorry?" She prompted her to explain further with a distinct raise of her eyebrow.

And Ziva didn't hesitate to attack, of course. "You have no right, not to mention reason, to keep Tony in here and interrogate him." She spat angrily, her chest heaving as the suppressed wrath scrambled up to the surface.

Orli remained calm, being used to assaults like that from the daughter of her predecessor. "Could you please sit down? I will explain everything." She gestured towards the other chair next to Tony, smiling secretly behind her facade at the protectiveness Ziva had showed over him.

"No, I prefer to stand, thank you." Ziva refused calmly, yet sternly.

Tony, who had had enough of this verbal chick fight, took the chair next to him and pushed it away. "Ziva, please." He asked her, using his puppy eyes to convince her to listen to him. Her behaviour was completely unwarranted as Orli meant no harm to anyone.

Ziva's features softened as she bit her bottom lip in contemplation. Sitting down meant give Orli a sign that she was willing to listen without interruptions. Standing meant to have certain control over the following discussion as she could interject whenever she pleased. To be honest, she had no idea where all the rage had come from and why it had seized her so greatly. The only thing she knew was that she needed to let it out.

In the end, she accepted the offered chair and sank down next to Tony, not being able to resist his gorgeous, pleading eyes. Tony let out a sigh of relief, throwing an apologetic look at Orli as Ziva pushed the chair to the table. He took Ziva's hand afterwards, kissing her fingers and entrapping her hand between his two large palms while she let him do so and blushed a little for some reason.

"So..." Tony began, focusing on the Mossad director in front of him, "how did you know that I'm heading for Israel?"

The last time, it hadn't surprised him that much that Mossad had been waiting for him. Sure, he hadn't expected to be given a tour around the HQ, but he'd been sure their eyes would have been on him. This time was different, though. No one knew, except McGee, his exact location. And Tim didn't know about the recent turn of events. Therefore, no one from NCIS could have alerted Orli about his arrival as it had been with the last occasion.

"You see, Tony," Orli began calmly, shifting her eyes from Ziva to the man next to her, "your name is on a special list that contains names of persons of interests that are important for Mossad for certain reasons."

It was a very diplomatic explanation. Orli had to be careful with her words because she had no intention to reveal all of Mossad's secrets. Her vigilance was weakened, though, as she tried to observe every little detail between the couple sitting opposite of her because that's exactly what she saw. _They were a couple._ Deep inside, this knowledge warmed her heart immensely.

"So whenever any of those persons arrive to or leave Israel, we are alerted about it." She continued, revealing the source of her information. "And we take appropriate measures."

Tony didn't bat an eyelid over that revelation, although the anger had started to accumulate inside of him. "And how did my name end up on that list?" He asked in steady, yet obviously curbed tone of his voice.

For the first time since Ziva had sat down, she looked Orli straight in the eye, curious about the same thing, as well. She was aware of the existence of such lists and she knew what kind of characters were there. That's why she couldn't find any reason why Tony had deserved that 'honour' to be on it. Her father certainly hadn't put him there, so it must have been the woman opposite of them.

Orli hesitated for a while, avoiding any eye contact as she pondered whether to reveal the truth or not. But if her assumptions were right, Tony's name would be soon deleted from the list entirely. "Director Vance's kind request." She replied, clasping her hands together on the table.

Ziva's eyes widened in surprise, while Tony nodded appreciatively since she had confirmed his speculations. He'd anticipated that NCIS had been involved in it. "Was it after my last visit here?" He questioned further. "Or was it when we found out Mishnev's real motive?"

He'd been warned that if he tried to leave the United States and head to Israel, it might not be the best idea as he could be arrested on the spot. It had been one of the things Vance had directly told him to assure him that Ziva had been protected from Mishnev's threat by Mossad and there hadn't been any reason for him to ensure that personally. The only thing he wanted to know now was if the ban had been relatively new back then or if it had been applied way earlier.

Orli shot a look in Ziva's direction to see her reaction to the name of the Russian mercenary. It didn't seem to bother her, only the clenched jaw signalled that she was aware of who the man had been and what had been his intent. She guessed that Tony had probably revealed everything about him to her then. Which only proved her suspicions about the state of their relationship even further.0

"The request came with Mishnev." She answered and Tony clicked his tongue angrily, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Now, isn't that brilliant? My name is among terrorists, criminals and other 'morally excellent' people." He commented with sarcasm dripping from his voice, not having any doubts about what kind of people were included on the list with their real names and several aliases. Ziva squeezed his hand for support and he gratefully squeezed hers back.

Orli understood his irritation but she had agreed with Vance's suggestion for many other reasons. "Tony, it is just a list." She reminded him that no one but Mossad agents, and not even all of them, had known about the list and the names it contained. "Everyone who has access to it knows who you are and the possible reasons for your visit, so no one would mistreat you."

Tony raised his eyebrow in surprise, throwing her a questioning look as what she could know about his reasons to visit Israel. "Let's be honest, the only reason why you would come here, Tony, is Ziva." She answered his silent question, shifting her eyes on an uncharacteristically quiet Ziva. "Unless it would be some work mission but then I would know about it."

"And exactly that's why I mind it." He objected sternly, releasing Ziva's hand to gesticulate. "The purpose of my visit would be strictly personal. It would have nothing to do with my job. It would be none of Mossad's damn business what I'd be doing here."

Orli begged to differ, but she gave up on explaining that the personal purpose of his visit had been exactly the reason why he had ended up on the list. His hot-headed behaviour was infamous when it came to ensuring Ziva's safety. It was better to have him under control than out there somewhere doing who-knows-what and possibly getting himself killed in the process. It was all about ensuring his safety, as well.

"Your name is there so we would prevent you from doing anything reckless." She went for another diplomatic answer. "Instead, we would provide you with information, necessary resources and anything else you might need in order to contact or help Ziva."

She knew that she had revealed that Ziva was still Mossad's concern. But they were gathering information about her with her approval. They had talked many times about it and had found certain compromise as to what Mossad's business was and what wasn't. And so, Ziva gave basic information about herself to Mossad in return that she would be kept safe just in case anything happened. She was also informing Orli about her travels outside of Israel so Orli could delegate the care of her safety to someone else if it was needed. That was the entire communication Ziva had with Mossad, nothing beyond that.

"In other words, so you could monitor my activity in your country." Tony rephrased her answer, pointing out what bothered him the most as it abused his basic right as a free U.S. citizen. He didn't dig further into the information between the lines that Mossad knew enough information about Ziva. He trusted her and believed that Ziva's contact with them was minimal and only in necessary situations.

"Isn't it what we all do in our line of work?" Orli retorted without distinct annoyance. She just wanted to let Tony know that if he had been in her shoes, he would have done the same.

"I suppose you're right." Tony agreed with her while Ziva travelled with her gaze from one to the other as if she was watching an entertaining tennis match. "It just makes me wonder how many lists like that I am on."

Orli reached over to lightly touch his hand that rested on the table. "I can completely assure you that I know only about the Mossad one."

Tony smiled at her, being satisfied with the answer and reconciled with the fact that he was on some stupid list. He couldn't do anything about it right now, anyway. He swore to visit Vance once he would return to D.C. and tell him what he thought of it. He relaxed under Ziva's comforting touch on his back as she started to rub circles there to help him to ease his muscles.

They sat there for a while in silence as the mutual understanding settled among them. Orli observed them with a content smile and Ziva immediately stopped with her actions once she'd been caught. She deeply blushed and quite reluctantly let Tony hold her hand. Tony wondered what had caused her sudden bashfulness, but this wasn't the right time to ask her about it as he guessed that it had something to do with the Mossad's Director.

"Anyway," Orli began after a while, knowing that there was a second part of the story, "when I was alerted about your planned arrival, Tony, I requested the whole list of passengers. Because I knew that Ziva was out of the country and I have not been notified about any threat."

She let the silence settle in the room, although all of them knew what would come next. "Imagine my surprise then, when I saw Ziva's name next to yours." She went on, observing the increasing restlessness of the couple in front of her. "My actual and _only_ interest is to know whether it is a coincidence or intentional."

Tony and Ziva looked at each other and smiled at one another amorously, not being able to hide the love between them any longer. "And I'm glad to see it's the latter," Orli remarked with a proud smile, feeling even greater joy inside.

"Well, it _was_ a coincidence," Ziva said, tearing her eyes off Tony to look at Orli for a moment. She was bursting to tell someone about her happiness. "I didn't know that I'd meet him in Prague."

"I went to spend my Christmas vacation there," Tony explained further, his eyes locked onto Ziva's. "And from the moment I met her, I haven't left her."

He would always have the image of her leaning against the stony wall of the Charles Bridge in her red coat burnt into his mind. No force in the universe could make him to forget it. In certain sense, their meeting had been the Christmas miracle he'd wished to happen. She'd made him feel worth of the life he was living again. She'd given him the reason to keep fighting for better future.

"And I haven't left you. Nor do I have the intention to do so anytime soon." She added, squeezing their intertwined hands as they were completely wrapped up in each other, not perceiving anything around them.

Orli didn't need any more proofs to know that they were a couple and that this relationship certainly wouldn't be a long-distance one. "I can honestly say that there is no pair I wish the happiness to like I do to you."

They turned their heads to her, smiling gratefully to express their thanks. Neither of them had doubts that her words had been sincere. She had witnessed and supported the voyage Tony had gone through in order to find Ziva two and half years ago. She had done it for her own reasons, of course, but that didn't mean that she hadn't liked Tony's intentions.

"You actually saved me a way here, Orli." Ziva said in a determined tone, not seeing any reason why to prolong what she needed to say any longer. "There's something I need to talk to you about."

"And I guess that's my cue to leave. This conversation should be probably done just between you two." Tony suddenly stood up from the table. "In the meantime, I can find the men's restroom as I've needed to use it for quite a while."

Ziva thanked him with the most appreciative look she was capable of, while Orli sent him a lovely smile. "Go left and in the end of the corridor, turn right. It's the first door." She gave him the directions and he looked at her, his face full of relief.

"I'll wait for you outside." He whispered to Ziva as he leaned down and kissed her quickly on her lips. Then, he opened the door and left the room to let the girls talk out whatever they needed to.

For a few moments, Ziva was just wistfully watching the door as if she expected that Tony would return immediately. She was glad that he had left because there were things she wanted to speak with the woman in front of her in privacy. However, she missed his presence next to her and the unending courage it always brought her. He was her rock, her pillar she could always lean against. Now, she was alone.

"You look happy." Orli remarked when Ziva hadn't said anything, nor did she make any intention to do so since the door had closed behind Tony.

The younger woman turned scarlet despite her best efforts not to. Love simply was like that, making the infected ones all warm inside. "Because he makes me happy." She stated, turning her full attention to Orli. "I didn't think it was possible, but I'm there. I'm ready to be with him."

"Does it mean, then, that my protection duty has come to an end?" Orli asked matter-of-factly, knowing the answer beforehand.

"Indeed." Ziva confirmed with a nod. "I'm moving back to D.C. for him. We're flying there on Sunday."

"I know." The Mossad's Director replied, not trying to give away how much she would miss the child of the love of her life.

Ziva was taken aback for a while, but then she realized that Tony's name must have been mentioned also on the list of passengers heading from Tel Aviv to D.C. And if Orli had requested lists of both flights their names had been registered to, she must have known about Ziva's way to D.C. from the very beginning. She just wanted to see if their relationship was true based on the facts she'd seen.

"I'm not returning to NCIS, though," Ziva answered the unspoken question and after that statement, it seemed that the atmosphere stopped being so tense. "We've arrived in Israel because I have to personally arrange to transfer my courses to University of Maryland. I'll apply for admission there and after closing off this semester here, I'll keep on study in the U.S. definitively."

That was a plan she'd already made up in her mind. She would have to return to Israel to pass her exams for the semester that was about to start and which she would spend in the U.S. She was sure that her admission would be accepted (and if not, it wasn't a disaster) and most likely some of her exams should be recognized, so in the end, she wouldn't have to start from the first semester, but she could continue where she left off.

"I'm glad you hold onto your passion." Orli praised her, knowing that it was a shame that their line of work would be short of one formidable agent. But she wished happiness for Ziva and if studying history had made her happy, so be it.

"Do you know that he has a girlfriend?" She suddenly fired in Ziva's direction, finally letting out what was nagging her from the start.

Ziva blinked once, then twice to cope with the unexpected question. It had some hidden meaning, but she couldn't quite put a finger on of what kind. In addition, she couldn't help but wonder how Orli had obtained that information. She tried to read the older woman but Orli was careful enough not to reveal what was going through her mind, holding out against her investigative gaze.

"I am aware of that fact, yes." She confirmed after a moment of staring battle. "He's been sincere with me in that regard. Sincere enough for me to absolutely trust him."

Everything she wanted to say, but didn't want to at the same time was wrapped up in her reply. Tony had opened his heart to her and hadn't hidden anything about his relationship with Zoe. He had assured her numerous times that he would break up with her without further delays. The only thing he'd refused was to do it the cowardly way. He wanted to face his girlfriend and explain himself.

Orli only nodded silently, understanding partially to the message behind Ziva's words. She wished that Ziva would be more talkative so she could warn her about all the risks. But she also understood why the younger woman had avoided going deeper with talking about it. Orli respected it, knowing that her own past was one of the reasons why Ziva had chosen a cryptic answer.

"Well, if I didn't know about the level of affection Tony has for you, I would advise you to be more careful." She didn't refrain from commenting, though. "To wait until he settles his matters and then begin with the moving. But it's Tony we're talking about here so..."

She trailed off, knowing that Ziva wouldn't get her point right way. And it was true, she was looking at her confusedly, not being sure as to why Orli was bringing such stuff up. It had caused another wave of tension between the two women, both unsure whether to expand this conversation further, or rather drop the topic before they could say things that would cause a rift between them. And they had worked hard on patching their relationship up, although it was quite fragile.

"I'd also like to ask you for help." Ziva changed the direction and Orli sent her a look of relief. "Since I won't be here long enough to take care of certain matters and I don't know when exactly I'll be back, I would appreciate if you could help me."

Orli reached across the table to hold Ziva's hand as a little gesture of assurance. "Whatever you need, Ziva." She agreed without hesitation. "Just write it all down and I'll do everything I can."

Ziva looked at her gratefully, feeling a little lighter when she knew there were people to help her. It wasn't just about moving all her stuff to D.C. She also had to take care of the apartment she owned and her roommate in it as she didn't want her friend to lose the roof over her head. She'd thought about hiring a lawyer many times to handle all the legal stuff she'd been busy with due to the vast property she'd inherited. But together with Orli they had realized that her authority was high enough to represent Ziva and her interests the best.

For a couple of moments they were just looking at each other, both contemplating the same thing. This was probably their last chance to have some real, honest and sincere talk since they had a very good base. Not that they hadn't done it before but something had always come up and they'd been interrupted. And there had been many things running through Ziva's mind so often but yet, she'd never asked about any of them.

"I know you're not doing all these things for me because you want me to like you." Ziva gathered the courage eventually. "Or because my father asked you to. So it makes me wonder... Why?"

Orli gave out a deep sigh, her usual self-confidence faltering. This was no business but matters of a heart. Her heart to be exact. "You are the daughter I never had." She replied, feeling the inner tension dissipating from her body since she'd finally said those words aloud after such a long time having them locked up.

Ziva didn't bat an eyelash as she felt that a similar answer might come. Orli had never covered the affection she'd had for her. Ziva had been refusing it, though, as she hadn't been seeking for a new mother after her own had died. Sometimes, she'd been refusing it for the simple fact it had hurt Orli and there'd been days she wanted her to suffer for what she'd caused to her family. And sometimes, she'd been taking advantage of it, knowing that Orli wouldn't have said 'no' to her, unlike Eli.

"I loved your father, Ziva," Orli confessed further, her voice steadier. "I was ready to take you as my own."

"I know." The younger woman breathed out, still not exactly sure how she should react and how she felt about it. "He loved you, too. He told me that numerous times."

It didn't have to seem that way, but she had eventually accepted her father's choices in this matter. Her disdain towards Orli had been caused mostly by her efforts to be like a mother to her. She'd also known her father long enough to realize that he would never have officialised his feelings for Orli, knowing what kind of burden he would have put onto her shoulders. That's why he had kept even Ziva at arm's length, not realizing that both women wanted the complete opposite from him.

"Actually, one of the reasons why I took willingly the liaison position in NCIS was that I wanted to give you two some space." Ziva revealed, stretching her arms to relax her stiffened muscles after the flight and then sitting here. "It seemed to me that you were fettered by my personal presence."

When she'd figured that Eli wouldn't have made his relationship with Orli an official thing, she'd simply opted for giving them some privacy as she hadn't needed to be a witness of their secret moments. Out of sight, out of mind. What she hadn't seen, hadn't bothered her. And Eli had had enough decency to leave Orli out of their meetings whenever Ziva had visited her father. That's why she had thought it had ended between them, only to find out couple of years later that it had continued, but without anyone knowing.

"I didn't know that." Orli commented in surprise, recalling as she'd spoken long hours with Eli about Ziva's involvement in NCIS and whether it had been good idea or not. She'd had an impression that the young David had run there to hide from the reality of her brother's betrayal. Eli had stated, though, that it had been her self-imposed decision and with that, he'd been done with that point.

"Now, you do." Ziva said, clasping her hands on the table, glad that she'd finally let this one out as it had been lying on her chest for far too long.

Contemplating the decisions she had made in the past and that had been connected to Orli, she couldn't help but chuckle at the irony. "You know, I once told Tony that I would have become a different person if it hadn't been for you." She recalled her conversation with the mentioned man before a car had hit them. She still regretted that she hadn't gotten to say what had been on her lips. But back then she'd considered as sign that maybe it hadn't been meant to be.

"Even though I meant it in a negative way, he said that he should catch you before you left. To thank you." She went on further and looked directly into Orli's face that held an expression of utter shock. "I don't know if he has ever thanked you, but I'm going to do it now. In a positive sense."

She wanted to give the credit where it was due. Not to mention that she enjoyed the astonished expression of the older woman in front of her. It wasn't often that someone was able to leave Orli speechless. And Ziva was proud of herself that she'd been the one to make it happen. Apparently, the David family was able to challenge madam Elbaz in a way no one could.

"Without knowing, you created the healthy competition I needed." Ziva said after a little while of silence when Orli's eyes were observing her closely. "I wanted to put you back in your place. I wanted to outrank you. Be better in everything than you."

In her young age, she'd felt the need to prove to this woman that whatever she'd thought she'd gained with her affair with Eli David would have resulted in nothing. Because there would be her, ruining every single success with something far greater and significant. Although this need had been gone for years now, it had appeared now and then, especially when she felt that Orli did something unjustified.

"And it shaped me into who I am." She continued after Orli remained silent, obviously giving her space to get this off her chest. "It made me explore uncharted territories so I could test my strength. And thanks to that, I've met Tony. One of the most important figures in my life."

Orli put her hand over hear heart to control her emotions. Despite the earlier tone, she was now moved deeply. And not to thanks Ziva's words, but by the simple fact that she was brave enough to reveal such a thing to her. She felt proud for the change the younger woman had gone through as she was sure that such a revelation would have never come if Ziva hadn't decided to change.

"Sure, there are things I'd rather not want to happen. But you could be hardly blamed for them." Ziva added distantly, having in mind all those horrible events in her life she would rather delete from her memory.

Then, she focused her attention solely on the Director of Mossad. "I guess that what I'm trying to say is... Thank you." She said as sincerely as she could because she meant it. In her own way, but the words were genuine. "I don't know what my life would be if you didn't enter it. But I'm glad you did."

Tony was right. To torture herself with 'what ifs', developing imaginary and fantastical alternate universes in her head of what could have been and compare it with what actually happened, wouldn't lead her anywhere. To stay forever bitter for the choices she'd had no power over, would make her a rancorous woman and she didn't want to become like that. It was better to accept it and focus on her future that was under her influence.

" _To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are."_

"I'm..." Orli began but had to clear her throat as the shock she'd experienced paralyzed her body. "I'm honoured that I could be the power that drove you. Whether in a positive or negative sense."

Ziva grinned, glad that Orli had embraced her speech, not being offended or insulted for the role she'd had in her life. "Isn't that what all mothers do?" She asked the rhetorical question, being very well aware of her insinuation of accepting Orli as her surrogate mother. And Orli slowly smiled in response.

" _A conflict begins and ends in the hearts and minds of people, not in the hilltops."_

* * *

Tony turned from the railing he was leaning against when he heard the door behind him opening. He hadn't tried to eavesdrop, knowing that the two women inside needed their own privacy for saying things that needed to be said sooner or later. And if any of it had any value, he knew that Ziva would open her heart to him about it, because that's how they finally worked.

He scanned their faces immediately to find out their mood and was pleasantly surprised when both women were smiling widely at each other, finishing a conversation about their things being settled and Ziva's promise to write email to Orli with all the things she needed to help with. Ziva's face automatically lit up when she saw Tony and let herself to be enveloped in his arms where she felt safe.

"Chitchat done, ladies?" He asked cheerfully, receiving a poke from Ziva with her elbow.

"Seeing you two together will warm the hearts of many people." Orli observed with a content smile on her face, chuckling at the poke Tony had been given.

Both returned her the smile gratefully, giving each other a little peck as it felt they had been separated for far too long. "Well, I won't keep you any longer." Orli continued, feeling sad since she didn't know when and even if she would ever see them again. "Enjoy your stay in Israel. And have a safe journey to the U.S."

Ziva let go of Tony and went to hug Orli in a warm embrace. "I promise to visit you whenever I arrive here." She whispered loudly, wanting to assure Orli that her protection duty might have come to an end, but it didn't mean she would lose Ziva from her sight entirely.

Tony stepped out towards her with an outstretched hand, quite astonished with Ziva's unexpected affection. "Work both ways. If you ever land in D.C., don't forget to drop by. You're always welcomed." He shook his hands with the Mossad's Director who smiled at him thankfully.

"And do you think you can keep quiet about this whole thing?" He asked her to be sure that whole of NCIS wouldn't know about his new relationship before he would step back on U.S. soil, gesturing between him and Ziva.

"Your secret is safe with me." Orli assured him kindly, accepting the last goodbyes before Tony pulled out the car keys from Ziva's car, informing her that the welcome squad from the airport had safely transported their luggage on her address and had even taken her car here, so they could leave without calling for taxi or getting a lift.

When they both got in the car with Ziva in driver's seat, which made Tony a bit uncomfortable but rather not saying a single thing, she fell silent and zoned out for a moment completely. She stared in front of her, projecting all that had happened in the last couple of minutes in slow motion in her head. Eventually, she sighed deeply to ease the tension in her chest and leaned her head against the driver's seat.

"You okay?" He asked her in genuine concern, covering her hand that was resting on the steering wheel with his own.

She opened her eyes, not even knowing when she'd closed them and sighed deeply again. "I think I am." She replied, turning her hand so she could intertwine their fingers and give him a squeeze.

"Come on, let's drive to your apartment." He told her softly, running the fingers of his free hand across her face. "I'll make us some coffee, you'll lie down for a while to regenerate and then we'll go to your school."

She took their intertwined hands and kissed his skin in a gesture of gratefulness. In the same time, though, she checked her watch to see what time it was and looked out of the window at the night sky. Satisfied that it was cloudless with still a lot of time until sunrise, she started up the car and looked over at him. "I've got a better idea." She said with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. "There's something I'd love to show you."

_**The End of Chapter 17** _

* * *

*1 "Go fuck yourself." is the translation


	18. Chapter 18

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 18** _

Ziva leisurely drove through the waking streets of Tel Aviv towards west, dodging Tony's questions about their destination and 'something she'd love to show him'. He even tried to ingratiate himself with her by complimenting on her driving. Well, it didn't work. He had to wait because her mouth was sealed. She really needed to teach him how to be patient sometimes.

The traffic was smooth, but more and more cars and buses were appearing all around them as people started to travel to work. As they neared their destination, Tony tried to keep track on where they were, but it was useless to him since it was still dark and he'd never actually seen so much of Tel Aviv as he did now. In no time she parked the car with almost childish eagerness and gestured to him to get out it.

He did so and the unmistakable smell immediately hit his nose. _Sea._ He drew in deeply, filling his lungs with the almost tangible, fresh air. He felt the salt filling his nostrils, opening wide his respiratory system. He loved that smell as it always made him feel so alive, so indomitable. He'd missed this feeling for the past few months. He smiled as he could even hear the sea moving as the waves hit against some barrier, most likely a wall.

"Where are we?" He asked her, although he knew the answer already. Well, partially at least. They were at seashore.

"Nemal Yafo." She replied with a grin, locking the car up. "Jaffa Port*."

He thanked her with a nod for the translation and looked around, but the streetlights didn't do the place justice. He would have to wait until daylight to appreciate the place enough. Also, she didn't give him much of a chance to orient himself as she took him by his arm and led him to the harbour without caring to explain what the purpose of their visit here was.

"I usually have it anchored in Namal Tel Aviv a couple of kilometres ahead," she said as if she read his mind, "but when I'm travelling, a friend always lets me to leave it here."

"And what is 'it'?" Tony asked naturally, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion upon hearing the word 'anchored'. _She couldn't mean seriously that she owned a boat, could she?_

She waved her hand in a friendly manner at a group of fishermen who were preparing their boats to set sail and who returned her gesture with smiles. "Talia." She breathed out, her eyes sparkling with a dreamy gleam.

His confusion deepened, wondering why she'd mentioned her sister's name. But then it all became clear as they passed dock by dock, suddenly stepping in front of an iron gate where Ziva pulled out her keys and started to open the gate. He looked around them to be sure that they wouldn't get arrested for entering, although they apparently had a key to get inside.

"Uhm... Wouldn't people think it's a bit too soon for a cruise?" He asked her, concerned about breaking some laws or something. He enjoyed his little trip to Mossad but he didn't have any mood to visit it twice in one day.

She rolled her eyes at his worries. "I'm not here for the first time, Tony." She calmed him down as she stepped on the wharf and he after her, closing the gate behind them. "Besides, everyone in here knows who the owner of the ship is."

He twitched at the word 'ship' which meant that the vessel was certainly larger than he had anticipated. And as she led him on the very end of the wharf, he couldn't but stare open-mouthed at the thing in front of them. Because it wasn't a boat in a definition of dinghy or something like that as he'd first imagined. It was a yacht. A white, about 13-metre long and 4-metre high yacht with an inscription on the side that gave it its name. _Talia_.

"It takes your breath away, doesn't it?" Ziva commented on his silent awe that wasn't hard to determine. His eyes were as wide as saucers, his mouth was hanging open and she was sure he forgot to breathe.

"Where the hell did you get this?" He breathed out, pointing his finger at the ship unbelievingly. He'd always dreamt of having one on his own.

She crossed her arms across her chest, breathing in the smell of the sea deeply. "Inherited." She stated simply, not denying the image of her father out of her mind. "And got it remade to give it a more modern look."

He wondered for a moment how old the yacht could have been but it had a little importance. Luxury was luxury and this ship practically screamed at them to come aboard and use it. Ziva didn't wait any longer and boarded on the stern, taking the stairs up immediately to unlock the yacht so they could use it. She disappeared into, what he guessed was second floor, and soon after the lights were on and he could see the ship in its whole beauty.

"Well, board the ship, Sailor." She called when she reappeared, beckoning him with her finger.

He nodded and stepped on the stern carefully, but the yacht was surprisingly steady on the water. He took the couple of steps up to her, noticing the little lounge with a table and couple of comfortable beige and white armchairs with sort of roof above them. She stood by the opened door, next to another set of steps that led onto the roof with a certainly beautiful outlook.

She smiled at him and led him through the door. His eyes bulged out, almost popping out of this head at the sight. There was a beautiful wooden and beige lounge with a kitchenette, larger table to eat on, bar, control panel of the ship and stairs down to the private quarters of the yacht with a bedroom, bathroom, closet etc. The tinted windows provided an undisturbed, yet breathtaking view.

"Keep admiring, I'll be right back." She kissed him on his cheek and went to prepare the boat to sail, heading to the stern.

He sat down on one of the lounge seats, sighing in pleasure at the comfort. Carefully he touched the furniture as if he wanted to spread his prints all over it. He quietly laughed to himself as he stood up, going over to the kitchenette to check the supplies, but there was nothing in there. Understandable since Ziva hadn't expected to go here in the first place. The bar was a different kind of thing as he poured himself a glass of fine scotch. He knew it was morning but damn he needed it to shake off the shock. _His girlfriend owned a yacht._

She flashed past him, disappearing down into the private quarters and he wondered whether he should follow her or not. But before he even decided to take some action, she emerged up again, but in a new attire that left him drooling. He knocked back the scotch, hitting the surface of the table quite hard as he put the glass down, but he couldn't help himself.

Her slender form was wrapped up in a beige naval uniform. Her breasts heaved behind the blouse and he could see the outlines of her white linen bra where her cleavage was starting. She didn't button up the blouse and left it open that way on purpose to tease him, he knew it. The knee-length beige skirt somehow decorated her legs in a better way than he could ever imagine. Perfect match for the olive skin she'd been endowed at birth.

In her hands, she held the matching jacket, obviously having in plan to put it on her at some point. Her wild long curly hair she had freed from her ponytail was crowned by a dark blue beret with gold insignia of Heil Ha Yam – a sword wrapped by an olive branch, anchor and seaweed. The whole image was stressed by her wide smile as she was observing his reaction to her Navy clothes. She'd wanted to entice such a reaction, definitely.

He didn't dare to ask her where she'd obtained the uniform as it seemed authentic to the Sea Corps of Israel ones, and she didn't bother with any explanation, either. Later, she would reveal to him that she'd worn the uniform during one of her undercover operations and she'd been allowed to keep it. But all of that was unimportant at the moment as she watched his eyes to feast all over her body.

He stared as she draped the jacket over the seat at the control panel, purposely making a show with her backside. Then she sashayed over to him, watching him gulping the invisible lump in his throat. Her hands gripped his arms as she ran her tongue over her upper lip enticingly. "Ready to set sail, sailor?" She asked him sweetly when he closed his eyes and purred in delight.

"Aye aye, Commander." He whispered in reply, acknowledging the insignias on her blouse and so he addressed to her in the corresponding rank, or at least he hoped so.

She smiled widely, kissing him chastely on the lips. " _Seren_." She corrected him in Hebrew. "And it means Captain, not Commander."

Before he could even apologize, not that he had any energy for it as he was more focusing on how her body fit so well with his, she turned away from him and went back to the seat to assume her position as a captain of the ship. She started up the motors and carefully began to steer the yacht out of the dock. Thanks to the modern technology, it was a piece of cake, really.

It took him a while to snap out of the fantasy he was playing out in his mind that involved their naked bodies in this very lounge getting lost in each other. When he finally did, he registered that the ship was moving. "Wait, we can sail just like that? We don't need any permission?" He worried, coming over to her as he looked out of the window to see what was in front of them.

"We're going just a couple of metres offshore, Tony. We're not going to breach international waters." She assured him, carefully avoiding the set of rocks on the portside.

With resignation he went back to the lounge and plopped down, wondering why she'd taken him here. He'd seen the ship, he'd seen her in her overly tight uniform... _Not the right direction._ He shifted on the seat to disperse the visions that didn't help him to focus on anything else but taking her right here and now. He should leave her to driving the boat, which actually made him wonder...

"How the hell do you know how to drive this thing?" He asked her out of serious curiosity. He had to hope that she could steer the boat better than she could drive a car.

She replied in silence with an amused smirk and an arched eyebrow she showed him over her shoulder. "OK, leave it. I don't even know myself why I'm asking." He shrugged it off with a wave of his hand as he stood up again, feeling fidgety.

He poured himself another scotch, cursing for his need to drink but he was expecting a wave of seasickness to come and he wanted to be ready for it. "Because, of course, you know how to drive it." He continued to muse. "You're the daughter of Eli David, the late Director of Mossad. You know everything."

Ziva fought back the urge to snatch the glass from him, as it seemed that the alcohol was talking through him. She sincerely believed, though, that he was just nervous. Despite being an NCIS agent, he didn't revel in naval-related stuff. "My father taught me a handful of things." She only remarked, trying not to show her irritation over his drinking.

He sighed deeply, almost wistfully, as he watched how the ship made a turn to the left and sped up, heading towards the open sea. "Wish mine would do the same." He muttered bitterly, hating himself for slipping such a thing out of his mouth as he was in good terms with his father at the moment. There'd just been things he had wished to do with him as a child and they'd never come true.

She set the course and slowed down a bit, so she could leave the seat for a little while to go over to him. "Your father did teach you something important, Tony." She said, putting her hand on his shoulder and startling him in the process. She took the glass of scotch and put it away, melting into his arms as he snaked them around her waist.

She looked into his face, caressing it with the back of her fingers to ease up the inner tension inside him. "He taught you to be charming every moment of the day." She whispered across his lips, pressing her second hand against his chest. "He taught you how to capture woman's heart, look after it and pamper it. You saw him to do the same with your mother."

He admired her for the way she seemed to know what words worked on him. He'd revealed so little about his mother, yet she'd comprehended what exactly he'd cherished on the family life he'd used to live before his mother died. He leaned down and captured her mouth in a sweet kiss, deepening it the moment she opened her mouth in a delightful whimper.

But as soon as the kiss started to be passionate, she suddenly pulled away, although with a great hesitancy. "I have to steer the ship." She apologized to wipe away his disappointed face, and her own as well, after all.

He accepted her apology by embracing her more tightly and then letting go of her, so she could keep them in their direction and not to actually breach international waters. She assumed her position at the seat again, checking the distance behind them and then positioning the yacht in the best way before turning the motors off. The wind was favourable and so she didn't have to be afraid that the current would take them away. Quite the contrary, the waves should slowly guide them back to the shore.

She put on the jacket, took his hand and led them out of the lounge to the stern, taking the stairs up to the roof. He climbed the stairs after her, watching as she turned on the control panel upstairs so she could control the ship quickly just in case anything happened. He looked around and saw that the roof consisted of another place to spend time in. Next to the control panel, there was a place with mattress to lie on and in the back there were two deckchairs perfect for sunbathing.

Also, they weren't entirely alone. He could clearly digest several fishermen boats in the distance, as well as other casual boats in the same line as they were. The day was close to its beginning and there was more and more light by each passing second. In awe, he looked at the darkened sky at the open sea where the night still prevailed and slowly turned his head towards east, watching as the sky was becoming brighter and brighter.

"There." Ziva pointed her finger towards Tel Aviv that stretched on the shore.

Among the tall buildings, he could see the unmistakable colours only such a wonder like the Sun could provide to this planet. The sky was mostly clear, only with a couple of small clouds here and there. The horizon burnt with blazing shades of orange and yellow colours with hints of light red and pink. The clouds turned to dark blue, almost going purple and grey as they reflected the sunshine and the darkness at the same time.

 _Sunrise._ What an ordinary event in the lengthy history of the planet Earth. For millennia the planet has rotated on its orbit, experiencing sunrise by sunrise, and not just once a day but multiple times. And yet, it is regarded as magic by its inhabitants. Every single sunrise is a miracle, worshipped by someone while overlooked by the others. But there's always someone to appreciate the marvellous beauty of such a simple thing.

And as if the Sun knows, as if it is aware of those who are awake to appreciate its coming, it keeps returning every day, creating a stunning show during which the admirers hold their breaths in holy astonishment. And then, the moment of realization arrives, acknowledging the significance of the 'mere ball of flaming gas that illuminates the world'.**

Because what would become of mankind without the Sun? Without sunlight, there wouldn't be any days. Only eternal nights short of moonlight as there would exist nothing to illuminate Earth's satellite. Those nights would be cold as there wouldn't be any source of natural warmth. The mankind wouldn't exist. The planet would be most likely lifeless. And how could there be any desire to live in such a world?

The Sun knows about its significance and that's why it hides from time to time behind clouds, refusing to show its face. When it does, it brings smiles into the lives of the human race, it enlivens the nature and it pleases animals. It supports the life on the planet in a way no other force can. That's the perfect symbiotic relationship of two objects in the infinite universe.

Tony didn't dare to breathe when he finally noticed the thin radiant strip of the rising Sun. He knew that it was coming because the aura, as a herald of its arrival, brightened up the city with a dazzling blaze. He had to shield his view with his hand as he watched it coming up, inch by inch, wanting to climb atop the sky to adorn daylight. The flaming ball then just held onto the horizon, spreading the yellow-orange colour all over with the gradual transition to heavenly blue.

A whole new day had begun. The sunrays tried to reach everything in their line of vision, turning the sea around them into a crystal clear turquoise pool that allured everyone to dive in and explore the underwater world. The Sun was thanking every onlooker for their appreciation and caressed their skins lightly, filling them with pleasant warmth and creating huge smiles on their faces.

Tony's smile wasn't caused entirely by the Sun, though. Finally, he caught the sight of Ziva who was holding out her face towards the Sun, letting its sunrays to envelop her. Her wildly curled hair topped by the beret flew around her head as the sea wind played with it. Her eyes were closed firmly as she breathed evenly, seemingly being in some kind of meditation pose.

He couldn't take his eyes off her even if he wanted to. She looked so stunningly beautiful, so balanced and he couldn't help but feel proud of her. Being careful so he wouldn't startle her, he put his arms around her waist and turned her sideways to him. She let herself to be swayed in his embrace and kept her eyes closed, willingly playing numb so he would press her to him to support her.

She gave out a content sigh being leaned against him as he cradled her in a bear hug, watching her intently. His eyes were all over her, she could feel it. And so, she opened her eyes slowly, peering at him from under her eyelashes before showing them in all their wide glory. Her body quivered under the intense affectionate look he was giving her and she had to admit that he'd never looked so handsome.

It wasn't just his physical appearance or the physical attraction that drew her to him. She wasn't that superficial and sought for more behind the pretty face. If she didn't, she and Tony would have had a roll in the hay a long time ago. But because she did, she knew what a great heart this man had, capable of selling his soul, sacrificing his life and competing in loyalty with human's best friend, the dog.

Her hands came to rest on his chest and he lifted one of his, cupping her face gently as he ran his thumb over her cheek. It was adorable that even after what they'd been through, he still kept silently asking her for permission to kiss her in significant situations like this one. As if she was ever able to deny him that with this puppy-like expression. And she needed to take her mind off of a couple of things and his kiss had always made her feel as if she'd abandoned the whole world.

So, she puckered her lips and parted them slightly, half-closing her eyes and sighing in pleasure when he didn't waver and leaned down to kiss her. He wasn't tentative or careful, neither slow nor too fast. He swallowed her, gently wrapping her tongue around hers and dipping her head back. In the afterthought, she took the beret off to give him easier access to her hair because she knew he loved to weave his fingers through it.

And he did so, burying his hand into her hair to keep her head in place while making her to respond to his deep, yet leisure movements of his mouth and strokes of his nimble tongue. She placed the beret on his head and wrapped her arms around his neck to bring their bodies closer while the Sun kept rising up, illuminating their kissing figures against the sea horizon.

They were soon completely lost in each other, their hands searching for those places on their bodies where they could elicit some tantalizing reaction. Ziva alternated between massaging the nape of his neck with opening the first two buttons of his shirt and sticking his hands below so she could caress the skin of his naked chest. He gently rubbed her back, not omitting to touch her backside every so often while his second hand kept playing with her hair, sometimes gently coming to squeeze her breast.

Unsurprisingly, the hand on her breast soon stayed there as he started to push the jacket off her shoulders. She cooperated and allowed him to free her arms out of the clothing, throwing it away together with him. She could feel the hungry desire expressed in the passion which he was kissing her with and she shared it with him. But she was also aware of the place they were standing at and had to admit that they were making quite a show for the public.

Regretfully, she broke the kiss and took a deep breath. "Not here." She whispered as she stopped his fingers from unbuttoning her shirt.

He looked into her eyes and nodded in silence. He looked around confusedly, wondering where else they could take this. She had a clear idea in her mind, though, walking past him and down the stairs to the lounge. Gripping the railing was a must for her as he made her knees go incredibly weak, and she had no desire to roll down the stairs and end up all battered and bruised.

He followed her, once even supporting her as it seemed that she would fall, but it didn't help to anything. Instead, she moaned and comfortably snuggled up against his chest, locking his arms around her firmly. He sniffed her hair, slipping his hands down on her underbelly and she responded in another load moan that reached his ears with incredible urgency.

She was amazingly responsive to his touches but he needed to carry the weight of two people. He pushed her back on her legs, steadying her but nudging her to continue forward. She did so but held his hand for support, refusing to release it. She led him inside the lounge and down to the private quarters, her speed proving her want more than anything else.

When they descended the stairs, they found themselves in a little hallway. The door in front of them led to former bedroom, now remade and serving as a study for Ziva. On the right side, there was a walk-in wardrobe. She beckoned him to turn around though and descend a couple of other stairs that led to a spacious bedroom, considering that it was on a yacht.

The right side was occupied with a giant bed and two beside tables with a rectangular window above that provided a stunning view of the sea. The left side included a divan and a table, with a window to look out of as well. Straight in front of them, there was a door leading to the bathroom with a shower enclosure, toilet, washbasin and cabinets with hygienic supplies.

Tony stood in the middle of all of it like Alice in Wonderland. Ziva's arms snaked around his waist from behind. "Hello, sailor." She greeted him with a content sigh. With her arms still around his waist, she walked around his body to face him and to fall into his embrace. "It's time to obey your superior's orders."

He saluted her with a chuckle, putting his arms around her, as well. "Aye aye, _Seren_." He addressed her in her rank, correctly this time. He then finally noticed her beret on his head, not even remembering when it had landed there. He took it off and put it back on her hair. "Sorry I stole your beret."

"Hmmmmm..." She hummed contemplatively, biting her bottom lip in a seductive manner. "I think there's disciplinary action needed. Stealing the beret of a senior officer is quite a serious offence, _Rav-Samal Mitkadem_."

His eyes narrowed questioningly. He wasn't that good when it came to Israeli Navy ranks, so he had no idea how she'd ranked him. He was only sure that he was her subordinate. The greedy look she was giving him didn't leave him in any doubts that she was about to take advantage of her higher rank to boss him around. And damn he loved it. The Navy uniform really fit her.

"Chief Petty Officer." She offered the equivalent of the rank in the U.S. Navy if she remembered correctly.

He raised his eyebrow at her unbelievingly, but considering that this was just a little game, he could put aside his self-conceit. "So, I've been downgraded to Chief Petty Officer?" He asked her in an amused tone, tilting his head and she couldn't help but think how adorable he looked.

"Well..." She began, licking her lips, making sure that he followed every single movement of the tip of her tongue, "your rank must be high enough to be experienced."

Her hands left his waist as she put them on his chest, sliding them down very, very slowly. "And low enough to obey your superior's orders without question." She went on, pressing her body to his. "And do as she pleases."

He had no intention to accuse her of sexual harassment, even though the message behind her words was as clear as the azure sky above. "And what does my captain demand from me?" He obediently asked, eager to tear the naval uniform off her. When his body was so close to hers, he could hardly think of anything else.

She sent him a lascivious look, her face turning into shade of pink full of anticipation. "Take her to heaven." She whispered her command and just waited.

He wasn't one to think slowly, especially when it came to intimate moments between two people. He took to heart her command and if she wished that he would take her to heaven, he would exactly do so. Just a couple of words and he knew exactly what to do, what to expect from her considering her participation and how much self-control he would have to apply.

Although it almost seemed mechanical, as if it was some routine, it was anything but that. He still yet had to learn some of her reactions and honestly, he was currently in the mood when he would love to make some experiments. This was no '50 Shades', though, as he wanted to puke whenever he'd heard about this book, and even more when hearing about that parody of a movie. Zoe owed him a lot for making him to watch it.

But no. This was about experimenting on her body, about eliciting reactions, moans and sighs to the simplest of touches. The beauty of worshipping her 'superior' was in the simplicity of execution. Only like that, he could take her to the heaven she'd wished to reach, so she could spread her wings and fly across the sky like the innocent angel she was.

" _Every single pleasure I can imagine or have experienced is more delightful, more of a pleasure, if you take it in small sips, if you take your time."_

He kissed her fiercely, taking her by her head, to remind her the passion they'd shared a couple of minutes ago on the roof of the yacht. Not that she needed it, her response was just as fervent as his kiss. It felt as if they continued right when they had seized that blissfully good lip-lock from earlier. She clung onto him with the same urgency, setting his skin on fire with the caresses of her hands that were against his chest once more.

Soon his hands were all over her back in the urgent need to hold her closer, to press her to his body so they would melt together and become one. Her bosom was squeezed between their bodies and he could feel the erratic beating of her heart that threatened to jump out of her chest. He was in the same state, having troubles breathing but her lips were too sweet and he didn't want to give them up.

His nimble fingers found the zipper on her skirt in the back and struggled a bit with the additional button. She smiled into the kiss, her arms firmly locked up around his neck as she refused to allow a gap of a mere millimetre. But she did nothing to help him out as she expected him to do all the work. She had enough problems with holding herself back since the only thing she desired to do right now was to tear his clothes off and take him right here and there.

Eventually, he managed to pull the skirt down her hips, and from there he didn't have any hard work. The skirt fell down, landing around her ankles on its own. She stepped out of it immediately, kicking it off with her right foot. His large hands cupped her backside, in the meantime, pushing her back to his body. She couldn't help but moan at the way he caressed the skin down there, sending goose bumps across her whole bottom part.

Naturally she wanted to strip him, too. She started to fumble with the buttons of his shirt as it was within her reach without separating herself from him too much. The speed with which his hands shot up to grasp her wrists and stop her movements was unbelievable. He released her mouth with a smacking sound and clicked his tongue at her in disapproval.

As a superior, she gave him an order to 'take _her_ to heaven', which clearly meant that she would be the worshiped one. So, his role was to be the director. There was no way he was going to give up of this advantageous position. She yanked with her hands, her eyes shooting him defying look but he didn't falter, quite the contrary. His grip tightened, making her to come to terms with his game.

Her wild gaze softened when he started to caress the sensitive skin on her wrists with his thumbs, almost making her moan loudly at such a simple touch. Something in the way he was doing it just made her knees weak and her eyes locked onto his, giving him all her attention and trust she could. His behaviour was comforting, yet so resolute with the unspoken warning to listen to his rules if she wanted her command to be obeyed.

She let him to open her hands out of the fists and slide his palms into hers, intertwining their fingers on his nod of approval. With their joined hands between them, he leaned down to kiss her again, dipping her head back with the depth of his desire. She used the support of his hands to hold onto him, afraid that she might crumble under the amount of passion he was emitting.

He let go of her eventually, undoing the buttons of her shirt, button by button while she gripped him by his biceps to keep herself standing. He pushed it wide open so the shirt just slightly hung on her shoulders. Arm by arm, she wriggled out of the garment, standing in front of him just in her black and white lacy panties and matching bra. He threw the shirt away, breaking the kiss momentarily to whet his appetite by looking at her perfect figure.

Taking her by her head, throwing away the beret from her hair, he claimed her mouth once more. He opted for a long-lasting simple kiss that would make her breathless. And she played along, always reacting on his little prompts like a slight bit here and there on her bottom and upper lip, a gentle touch of the tip of his tongue against hers or sucking in her lips for a longer while.

Deepening the kiss lightly, his hands left her head and gently combed her hair, making Ziva's head spin as the shivers ran down her spine. With sanctity, he softly ran his thumbs over the muscles on her neck, making her moan into his mouth in pleasure as he added up only more and more exciting shivers. Then his palms rested on her shoulders while his skilful thumbs worked on her nape, sending her into blissful darkness.

Her body was getting so relaxed she could barely perceive what was happening with her. She was still aware of his touches and his kiss, though. But the more she was surrendering to the power he had over her, the more she felt as if she left her body and soared into the sky. And she loved every second of it, just as much as she loved him. She needed him more than air for breathing.

His agile fingers stroked her shoulder blades, forcing her to release the tension in the area of her upper back. It seemed as if he tried to dismantle her, part by part, muscle by muscle to get to the very core of her heart and embed himself there for the rest of her life and beyond. He was already there, though, yet it was sweet that he felt the urge to do it, nevertheless.

She expected him to unclasp her bra, but he only traced the lines of the lacy fabric until he reached the underwire. Just as gently, he caressed the skin below her armpits and the side of her breasts. With delicate touches like those, she could barely keep up with the erratic beating of her heart to supply it with enough oxygen. She struggled with the natural sense for preservation to breathe and the need for kissing him.

As his hands travelled southward down her sides, he seized the kiss to fill her lungs with fresh air. She inhaled raggedly and sighed loudly and deeply, keeping her eyes closed and just enjoying the feel of his caresses. With another intake of breath, he covered her mouth with his again, gently and yet passionately kissing her, while his arms encircled the small of her back, teasing her spine with his knuckles.

Repeating the tracing of the lines of the lacy underwear, he palmed her hips firmly and then slid his hands on her curved ass. He fondled it with the affection it deserved as the shape of her halves was perfectly made for his hands, revelling in her impatient sighs. That's how he also knew that they were made for each other. They fit like two jigsaw puzzle pieces, complementing each other in the areas where the other lacked something.

When he finally got enough of her skin – okay, he was just joking because that could never happen – he acknowledged that it was time to move things a little bit forward. His hands firmly embraced her on the small of her back and then swiftly, yet carefully, spun her around as if they were dancing tango, and then once again. She yelped in surprise, ungluing herself from his mouth to keep her balance.

She didn't need it, though as he perfectly positioned her right in front of the foot of the bed, so her calves were leaning against the bed's structure. Looking at him desirously, she didn't even flinch when he pushed her back and she willingly flopped on the bed. He towered over her for a moment to burn the image of her sitting on the bed with the sea view behind her into his mind.

Then he started to unbutton the remaining buttons on his shirt in which she immediately offered a helping hand. And he let her this time, throwing away his shirt and before he could even do it, he was stripped off his pants as she pulled down the zipper and removed it in a second. He stepped out of his pants in the similar fashion she had done so with her skirt and kicked it back.

They stared at each other for a couple of eternal seconds breathlessly. And then, like a predator hunting his prey, he was right directly in front of her, pushing her down on the mattress while he climbed over her body. He went straight for her mouth, putting his hands around her head to keep himself hovering over her form. The kiss was deep and passionate, and she completely lost herself in it.

When she came back to her senses, though, she saw the opportunity to touch him since her arms were lying idly next to her sides. She lifted her hands and caressed his chest and his arms, those two pillars that were changing her body into a temple. She felt like a statue of a goddess inside the temple, being loved and revered by her worshiper who was showing the zealous affection for her cause and sole existence.

He parted her legs with his knees and she used the space for wrapping them around his waist and bringing him closer to her. His bottom part obediently laid on hers and they both moaned at the contact of their aroused sexes. Her heels grazed his ass and his thighs, urging him to bury himself into her when she added a teasing thrust of her hips. He didn't yield, although he had to show huge resilience.

He reached for her hands to stop groping him as he put them above her head, opening her palms and intertwining their hands so he could keep his support. His mouth left hers and he focused on her delicious earlobe with his teeth, nipping lightly on the sensitive skin and even sucking it in together with her earring. She licked his jugular vein thoroughly in return, tasting his erratic pulse.

The squeeze of his hands became tighter thanks to this and she didn't mind it whatsoever. When he repeated his actions on her other earlobe, she automatically rewarded him with the lick of her rough tongue against the sensitive skin on his neck, sending even more blood through the veins up to his head. It made him dizzy but he didn't stop in his task, nor did he give her what she was asking for with the movement of her hips.

Instead, he chose to kiss every inch of the outlines of her collarbone, making her shiver with excitement. She didn't even know it could feel so erotic but probably everything felt that way to her at the moment. He continued down, his nose grazing the upper part of her breasts, sniffing in the gap between them and she had to giggle at the ticklish feeling. She waited for him to pull the straps of her bra down but he wouldn't give it to her, at least not yet.

Rather, he opted on wetting the lacy cloth with his saliva around her nipples and for once she was glad for not wearing an uplift bra. It wouldn't give her the amazing feeling like she had now as his rough tongue grazed the most sensitive skin on her breasts through the thin fabric. Her nipples arched and stiffened in anticipation over his actions, her chest heaving in rhythm with the flicks of his tongue.

He wanted to go further down but she stubbornly refused to let go of him. The way their bodies rubbed against each other was helping her to remain in a state of bliss she so much loved. It didn't matter to her that he could elicit even more, she was simply satisfied with the little she'd gotten. Frustrated, he tried to unclench the legs from around his waist but she didn't relent. Quite the contrary, the movements he was performing only made her to clasp her thighs tighter.

Eventually, he let go of her hands and forcefully freed himself out of her grasp. He sat on his knees and wiped off her hurtful and rejected expression with a breathtaking kiss on her belly that sent the butterflies in her stomach flying. She moaned and reached for his head to guide him down and experience the blissful oral sex again, now being ready despite her sensitivity.

He avoided that attempt though, climbing off the bed completely. He held out his hand to her and she lifted her back off the mattress slightly, accepting his hand. He pulled her up into a sitting position, her eyes sparkling with curiosity as she was dying to know what he had in plan. There were so many ways he could take her and her body was trembling in anticipation for every single of them.

He went around the bed, pinning her to the mattress with his gaze, never breaking off the eye contact. Only her chest moved with her ragged breaths and her head turned to keep looking at him. Then he climbed back on the bed right behind her and she turned her head away from him, staring in front of her as she didn't dare to breathe what would come next.

He sat down and made himself comfortable, opening his legs to take her into his embrace from behind. Taking her by her waist, he drew her closer to him, her back hitting his chest sensually. Her hands went around his thighs to give herself more support despite leaning against his back. For a moment, he just hugged her tightly, letting her to feel the warmth of his body as they breathed together evenly.

Soon, he rubbed her arms delicately, making her completely relax against him. Then he gently raked her hair and put it on one side so he would have a free way to her delicious neck. She tilted her head, laying it on his shoulder to give him better access. His hands reached down into her lap, nudging her legs apart and she opened them without any protests.

With one hand on her shoulder and with the other on her inner thigh, he started to graze the sensitive area of her crotch with his fingers. She moaned and flexed her muscles as he neared his fingers towards her panties. Her core tightened in anticipation but the expected relief didn't come. He stopped at her groin and continued up from there, caressing the hem of her underwear.

He repeated the same action on her other thigh, making her to sigh both in frustration and pleasure. Then he placed his hand on her sex through the fabric as if he wanted to check her arousal and hummed appreciatively when he felt the scorching heat on his skin. Perfectly responsive, as always. After all, despite her state of nudity she'd been burning for a while already.

He lightly patted her clothed intimate parts and sunk his teeth into her neck, making her to arch her back in delight. His hand went up to her lower abdomen, his fingers hooking to her panties. But he didn't take the garment off, not yet. He only stuck his hand inside, giving out a silent chuckle as he felt how wet she was for him. He looked into her brazen face that burnt with desire and smiled.

With a simple movement of his hand that headed north, he caressed thoroughly her wet pussy, making her to gasp in pleasure and arch her back even more. That gave him the chance to unclasp her bra with his free hand and pull the straps down her shoulders. His mouth glued to her neck, enjoying the feeling of the pulsing jugular vein against his rough tongue.

She started to protest when he didn't do anything else, but no words actually came out of her mouth as he had a way to effectively shut her up. Stripping her off her bra completely was one of those things. Then he slid his right hand down her right arm, unclasping her hand from his thigh and intertwining their fingers gently. His left hand idly lay on her left thigh.

And then, he released her neck and whispered those chilling words right into her ear. "Guide me."

She dipped her head back to assure herself that he really meant it. It wasn't happening too often that she had the chance to direct her own pleasure. Not that she was dissatisfied with his performance, quite the contrary. But it didn't mean that she wouldn't appreciate his offer. If he wanted to know what to do in the future to take her to heaven, then she had the best chance to have a little briefing.

Decisively, she took both of his hands and made him to slide them alongside her sides. Hooking his thumbs to her panties, she gave him a nod and he started to peel the last garment off her. Using his legs as support, she lifted her hips and he pushed the panties down her thighs. Then she sat back down, grabbed the underwear and threw it away, assuming her previous position.

She took his left hand and placed it on her left breast, covering his hands with hers. She showed him the right amount of pressure she wanted to feel. Then she thoroughly laid out his fingers, taking his thumb and showing him how to circle it around her nipple to make her shiver in delight. He repeated after her the actions and was rewarded with a blissful moan.

After a couple of nipple rubs as he perfected his technique, she took his right hand and guided it into her lap. She was already trembling as she took his middle finger and forefinger and positioned them in front of her entrance, while she firmly pressed his thumb on her clit, releasing a couple of gasps while doing so. He patiently waited, although it was quite alluring for him to devour her when she least expected.

Then she fully leaned against his chest, laying her head on his shoulder and taking a few deep breaths. On her nod of approval, he stuck his forefinger inside her wet pussy while his thumb started to make little, yet thorough circles. She arched her back and moaned, her fingers digging into his thighs in pleasure. She didn't need to guide him anymore, he was the best candidate for this kind of work.

His finger stayed buried inside her as he made occasional wriggling movements to tease her smooth inner walls. His thumb, on the other hand, was changing the intensity of presses and movements on her clit. One time, he made long, slow circles. Then he opted for quick, deep rubs. He alternated between the speeds and enjoyed the rewarding shivers of her body.

Then he just pressed her clit and put his fingers in motion, pushing in and out his forefinger easily thanks to all the moist she was producing. Soon, he added his middle finger inside her and she yelped loudly as he also accompanied it with flickers around her hardened nipples, sending her into a whirlwind of pleasure. She tossed with her hair wildly, trying to escape his hot mouth on her neck to prevent her orgasm but it was to no avail.

He sucked on her neck and she couldn't help but buck with her hips against his fingers inside her, synchronizing the perfect rhythm together in no time. Contrary to her previous attempts, she lifted her right arm and caught him by his head to keep it on place while she raked his hair tantalizingly. He obeyed without a question, slowing down his pushing fingers as he felt she neared her satisfaction and he wanted to give her a lot to remember.

Her left arm left his thigh, too, as she put it behind their bodies on the bed to support herself and intensify the movements of her hips. She understood he wanted her to last as much as she could, but all she could think about right now was how to cooperate on giving her what her whole body screamed for. She knew he would do as she requested. He had assured her about that already.

He pulled out his fingers out of her and caressed her sex thoroughly with those two wet fingers. She moaned, her legs finding support in his to keep herself sitting. She wasn't too far away from leaping out of the bed as he was making her feel so amazingly that she could barely handle it. She was writhing in his arms with pleasure, loving the blissful feeling so much that it could cause a serious addiction.

He kept rubbing her pussy with his fingers and her mouth opened wide while the movements of her body became more vigorous, more eager to reach the desired destination. Her back kept arching to the point it was painful, but she had no time and space to feel any pain. She was thoroughly focused on keeping herself on planet Earth while enjoying the pleasure on maximum.

And then the most delicious surprise came. His fingers started to solely focus on her clit, rubbing the small bundle of nerves while she kept moaning and moaning. He released her breast and reached with his other hand into her lap, as well, increasing his efforts to bring her to heaven with both his hands. She supported herself on both her hands too, opening her legs even wider.

And then the orgasm hit her with a force she didn't expect at all. Blissful wave of satisfaction shot through her, making her stiff like a statute with her back arched and her head bent back as her chin pointed upwards. She sighed, releasing the breath she was holding and flexing her inner muscles while he caught her firmly by her waist because her elbows gave away and she collapsed.

He hugged her tightly while she was riding out the last waves of the orgasm, seeing nothing but blackness behind her eyes. When she opened them, she remembered to breathe and curled up to let herself to be enveloped in his bear hug. She was grateful for his comforting caresses on her arms, her back and her hair. He really could make her feel like no one ever before.

"Heaven..." She rasped hazily, her breathing ragged. When she had ordered him to take her there, she'd never expected it to feel so good.

She could feel him chuckle against her back. "No, no, no. We haven't reached the heaven, yet." He objected, caressing the outline of her breasts with his thumbs. "This was just a... what's the equivalent of purgatory in Judaism? _Gehenna_?"

" _Giheinom."_ She murmured, feeling the dizziness dissipating slowly. "Does it mean that my soul has just been purified and I am allowed to ascent to _Gan Eden_?" She asked to keep the line of their talk, as odd as it sounded.

He figured that 'Gan Eden' meant heaven and responded with another mild chuckle. "I'm sure you are." He replied in a seductive tone, kissing her delicious neck which she exposed to him as she straightened her back.

She found her balance again as she put her hands in front of her and pushed herself into a squat. He didn't move, just watched her naked beautiful ass in front of his face. Then she turned around to face him, assuming cat-like position and looking straight into his eyes. She looked so incredibly sultry and wildly beautiful with her hair loosely hanging around her head in waves and curls and with one of the most lustful expression he'd ever seen.

And then she leaned forward and kissed him, carefully at first as she inspected and sucked on his lips before devouring his mouth fully. His palms cradled her face to shove his tongue into her mouth gently and she took him up on his offer without question. She wanted to get even closer to him and so she inched herself on her hands towards him, eventually putting them next to his sides.

That made him to lean back to keep the angle of the kiss. Eventually, he obeyed to her silent demands and started to lie down slowly while she kept hovering over him between his parted legs. His fingers buried into her hair as his back hit the pillows and he moaned in delight because she deepened the kiss significantly. The sensual rub of their tongues took all his breath, but it was damn worth it.

He slid his hands on her back, gently trying to press her down so he could feel her skin. However, she resisted and instead, she cupped his manhood with her hand and he was lost. Since the massage she had applied a couple of nights ago, he was quite sensitive on her touches, his body reacting in the most unfamiliar ways. And he loved it more than he could ever imagine.

And she was doing it again, fondling his hardened balls through the fabric of his underwear. He thought that his brain would blow out of his head if she didn't stop and the same went for if she did stop. Only she could make him feel like that, only she could ever have the privilege to bring him to his knees completely because he loved her more than anyone else in this world.

"Next station _Gan Eden_?" He squeaked breathlessly and she nodded with an affirmative giggle when she stopped kissing him.

He lifted his hips up and she peeled off his boxers, freeing the hardened erection inside. He was perfectly responsive, too, she had to admit that. Always ready for the action whenever she needed the most. And that she needed to feel him inside her, he could bet. She didn't do any motion to fulfil that desire, though, at least not yet. Once again, she opted on kissing him and fondling his manhood.

He groaned impatiently as she caressed the skin of his scrotum, her thumb drawing circles on his balls gently while she devilishly prevented him from breathing by her mighty kiss. He desperately reached for her free hand next to his head that she used as a support and deliberately tripped it up to make her fall on his chest. If he thought that it would stop her, he was seriously mistaken.

She yelped in surprise, losing control of the kiss momentarily, but in no way losing any control over his throbbing erection. Her nails started to dig into the swelled skin as they danced around his manhood and he let out a couple of swear words out of his mouth to release the tension and not to explode. She smiled as wickedly as the Wicked Witch of the West at him, but she knew she couldn't tease him for far too long if she was going to have any fun from this herself.

Looking into his eyes, she kissed him sweetly and put both her hands around his head to find the necessary support. He caught her by her waist and helped her to climb over him to straddle his hips, while his tongue played with hers deliciously. She reached for his penis, squeezing it mercilessly to force him to groan as she guided it towards her entrance and wrapped her soaking wet pussy around his shaft.

She prolonged his groan as she sat down on his lap slowly, moaning herself as she took whole his length inside her. Releasing his lips, she gave out a gasp of pleasure and he helplessly sunk his teeth into her shoulder to prevent himself from groaning even louder. Every single detail of her current behaviour, whether it was a smile, a kiss, a touch, a motion, or a sound, made his body tingling all over, luring him into a trap to lose all his self-control.

And then she made a circle with her hips, massaging her smooth inner walls with his pulsating manhood. He boldly caught her hips and directed her movements, determining the speed and the direction of her circles. He loved the way she huffed and puffed, giving out all her energy to bring him on the edge of insanity and send herself to heaven as her breasts rubbed against his chest with the intensity of her ragged breathing.

He helped her as he reached for her ass and caressed sensually her halves, thrusting her towards himself. Her eyes closed and her mouth opened as the blissful wave washed over her, while his fingers dig into the flesh of her backside, pressing her closer and closer to him, making her to hit her sweet spot thanks to his slick penis. She moaned his name, which had only one consequence – he thrust her to his body even more vigorously.

Despite the pleasure she was feeling at the moment, she managed to kiss him fiercely and pushed herself into a sitting position against his chest. He stared in awe at her perfect body riding him, his hands oddly hanging in air as he didn't know what to reach for first. Her swinging breasts, her adorable bellybutton, her tasteful skin, her hair framing her face – everything was perfect about her and he just wanted to touch the beauty with sanctity.

She rendered him speechless when she pushed herself even more up, his manhood slipping out of her for just a couple of inches. Then, she took him in back wholly and watched as his head buried deeper into the pillow, and his eyes rolled back into his head to contain the delightful feeling. Just to feel how he buried himself into her over and over again, parting her folds and filling her in, was deeply satisfying.

Her rhythm sped up slowly but certainly, leaving him groaning and moaning while his hands helplessly groped her body at all places he could. She worked their way towards their respective orgasms, her gasps for air becoming more audible as the pleasure building inside of her was becoming barely endurable. He repeated her named in a hazy tone she fell in love with the first moment she'd heard it and was sure it would burn deep inside her mind.

She had to stop for a little while to rest as her energy was slowly dissipating, being replaced by relaxed exhaustion. In that moment, he took the charge and thrust into her mindlessly, not being able to control anything his body was doing, thinking only about the desire for the approaching release. She didn't mind it whatsoever, moaning loudly as he kept hitting her sweet spot delightfully.

Soon, she joined him in his thrusts, developing a mutual rhythm that suited to their needs. He was so close to his peak, his body trembled muscle by muscle in anticipation of the inevitable release. Sweat was wetting skin but he still tried to withstand what was about to come as he loved too much the way she sat on top of him and was bringing him pleasure with all she felt for him.

He tried to say something as he opened his mouth, although he had no idea what words were trying to get out of his mouth since his mind was completely blackened. She took his hands and intertwined their fingers to find support in his arms as her own strength was leaving her faster and faster. He provided that to her gladly, but even he felt weaker than he had estimated and she eventually landed on his chest.

Two of their joined hands buried into the pillow below Tony's head as their lips sealed their passion with a fiery kiss. He grabbed her head, weaving her hair through, sending electricity all over her body while she caressed his arm, trying to find some support. Their mutual movements intensified under the slight change of position, their kiss was moist and rapid, accompanied by moans of delight.

And then Tony couldn't hold it back anymore. The orgasm took over his body completely, sending him into the black hole of bliss he gladly let himself to be pulled down into. Her name escaped his lips with a release of shaking breath, guiding her with his stiffened fingers buried into her flesh of her hips through his delightful climax to prolong it. He completely spent himself, not even a drop of his semen remaining.

It took him a while to absorb all the bliss surrounding him, to draw it in and enjoy the smell of lovemaking that matched the most heavenly smells of this planet. The more he felt the stifling atmosphere that suddenly breached into his joyful world. He noticed that she didn't move, she was just stiffly straddling his hips, looking into his face with a horror-stricken expression written all over her face.

She was completely seized by some panic attack he didn't know where she'd gotten. All passion dissipated from her body, only some rasping sounds were coming out of her mouth instead of proper breaths. "What is it?" He asked her worriedly and breathlessly, still trembling from his mighty orgasm.

"Protection..." She rasped in return, having problems to breathe and speak altogether, not to mention to create any coherent thought.

For some stupid, strange reason a memory flashed through her mind while she had been enjoying herself, completely destroying her proud feeling for making him feel so gratified. It was a vague memory of an article she'd read for God-only-knows-what-reason, probably out of boredom while waiting for her doctor's appointment, about increasing chances for women with fertility problems to get pregnant. The vague memory turned into a clear image of the article in her head as if she had it right in front of her.

It spoke about higher chances of getting pregnant if the man reaches his orgasm first, while the woman follows afterwards because of the way human sexes biologically work together. It forced her to think about all the times before she'd had sex with Tony and count how many times he'd come first and she'd followed, and couldn't help but wonder if her earlier orgasms as he'd fingered her counted into the equation.

Anyway, there was no protection to count with, and that make her worried about completely natural thing. "We've not used any. Not even once." She explained further, finding some of her lost voice. "And I'm not on a pill as I didn't expect that... W-what if... W-what if..."

She stammered as the panic attack seized her once more with new intensity. She started sitting up, wanting to disentangle from their lovers embrace and run away as fast as she could. If she was pregnant, or had just gotten herself pregnant, then it would destroy all the plans they had made. Their relationship was still raw, fresh and new. She loved him, but having kids so soon – it would take many sacrifices and she didn't believe he would be able to make them.

He didn't let her, though, and sat up with her, circling his arms around her waist to keep her in his lap as he somehow managed to move up towards the head of the bed so he could lean his back against it. "And would it be such a disaster?" He asked her calmly.

Somewhere in the middle of the hell he'd been going through in DC, having kids was a desire that appeared unexpectedly and for him in the most inconvenient moment. Apparently men had biological clocks deep inside them, too. But he'd been with a woman he couldn't even imagine having children with and the one he'd dreamt about having family with had been on the other side of the world.

Now, when that woman was in his arms, the biological clock started to ring alarmingly. And he knew that he was ready, just as every father-to-be. However, it didn't mean that he wanted her to give up her life and her dreams just to become some sort of oven churning out their babies. He was ready to make sacrifices, take some parental leave or whatever and if it was even possible for him (he noted mentally to do research on this topic), but simply to do anything to help her coordinate her studies and care for a child.

His cold calmness threw her off balance and all she could do was to stare at him in stunned silence. "Or you don't want children?" He asked curiously when he didn't get any answer, caressing her back sensually.

"Of course I do!" She immediately exclaimed, raking her hair and biting the nail on her right thumb. "It would be the best thing that would ever happen to me."

She fell silent for another moment, his mild and warm smile not helping her to form the words in her head as she didn't want him to get offended. "I was thinking more about... you." There, she said it and his face didn't frown or anything which made her even more unsure. "You don't like them. You're scared of them."

He had to chuckle at her unusually timid voice. "Things are changing. People are changing." He said truthfully, his right hand tracing gentle lines across her cheek and chin. "And yes, I'm scared of other children. They're not mine, after all. I'm not sure how to treat them."

She smiled secretly, not understanding why he was selling himself short so much. She had in a vivid memory that one time when they had babysat Vance's children after Jackie's and Eli's deaths. He'd been terrified, at first, completely unwilling to cooperate. But because she'd asked nicely and actually forced him try to find his way to Kayla and Jared, he'd proven as a natural. And all that had been needed was a coincidental discussion about the greatest movies ever made.

"But I know that if I had my own," he continued, kissing her nose sweetly, "I'd do my best to be a decent Dad."

"You'd be a _great_ Dad, Tony." She corrected him, putting her arms around his neck. She felt a lot better with his words of assurance and the more their bodies stayed in close contact, the more she realized her heated core, desiring to get what had been interrupted.

He smiled at her doubtfully, appreciating her belief in him. He knew that only a real child could test his ability to be a great father. "Thank you. But that would be only thanks to you, because you'd be a terrific mother." He flattered her and meant his words. It was her who could always get the best out of him. Sometimes, only her Mona Lisa smile was enough to achieve that.

She blushed, her heart melting with the love she felt for him. "And I'd be honoured to have children with you." He added, glad that her anxiety attack was gone and his sweet, beautiful Ziva was back. "My life would be complete."

She couldn't hold herself back any longer and launched herself at him, kissing him vigorously to award him. Screw the protection, if Fate wanted them to have children so soon, then they would have them. Fate brought them together, Fate could keep them together forever. For what other purposes would Fate force them apart, but to grow up and realize how unhappy they were without each other?

And as if there was some switch in her body, she started to demand her climax, all the stiffness gone, being replaced by a very horny woman. Her hips bucked but his manhood was no longer hard and capable of massaging her inner walls the way she longed for. He was quickly able to fix it with his skilful fingers as his hand slid down her body and into her lap, aiming for her clit.

She moaned into his mouth, thrusting her pelvis into his hand while he gloriously massaged her bundle of nerves, rubbing his thumb in circular moves slowly at first, and adding the speed gradually. With her energy waning, he took the charge of the kiss, mimicking the movements of his thumb with his tongue, massaging hers thoroughly and softly, just the way she liked it.

And then she gave in to the sweet pleasure he'd been building only for her, once again drowning herself in the blissful feeling. She moaned, writhed and clung onto him, while repeating how much she loved him and he just held her in his arms, returning her love confessions and letting her to ride her orgasm for however long she wanted, adding a couple of rubs to intensify the satisfaction.

_**The End of Chapter 18** _

* * *

* Jaffa Port – ancient port on the Mediterranean Sea in Israel. The port has almost three thousand years history, being mentioned in the Hebrew Bible. The port is currently a recreational zone with restaurants and cafés with a small fishing port.

** Borrowing the words of my favourite writer here. Quote by Terry Pratchett from The Hogfather book, part of fantasy series of Discworld.


	19. Chapter 19

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 19** _

Naked, Ziva was lying sprawled on the bed beneath the sheets, feeling all satisfied and sultry after love-making with Tony. Her skin tingled, she was extremely sensitive to any touch and that was why she loved the feeling of the silky sheet on her naked skin. It was sending goose bumps across her body from head to toe. The cool fabric provided the perfect match between warmth and coolness she loved.

She was also deeply lost in her own world full of nagging thoughts. The sole purpose of showing Tony the yacht hadn't been the sunrise or admiring the beauty of Jaffa Port. She'd needed him physically because he was the only thing that could shut her annoying thinking up. Yes, she had dragged him in here to have sex with him and she didn't feel a bit guilty. He'd welcomed it after all. Now, she was listening to his sing-song voice in the shower as he let the water wash over his glorious body.

Maybe she seemed to be calm and balanced on the outside. But inside, the never-ending war with herself had been going on without interruption. Her discussion with Orli had kept projecting before her eyes. She couldn't shake that 'traitor' feeling off when she had officially recognized her as her surrogate mother. It felt as if she was renouncing her own mother, the blood of her blood, who she loved dearly.

But she also knew that Rivka David would have told her to do her best to get on well with Orli. She was like that, always looking for the best even in the worst kind of people. She wasn't an angel, she had her flaws. But often, she acted like one. She would have never accused her daughter of being a traitor for accepting another woman as a part of her family. Quite the contrary, she would be proud of her daughter for not letting the hate cloud her mind.

Orli wasn't a bad person, Ziva knew that. It'd been easier for her to see her that way, though. But her immediate desire to help, that made Ziva reveal her motives for her past behaviour, and her acceptance, that her surrogate daughter had always seen her negatively until she'd just given up and now saw her only positively, pleased Ziva in a way she couldn't quite explain. Maybe it was that innocent part she had inherited after her mother.

Orli Elbaz had a great heart. While Eli David had cared for his daughter deeply and loved her just as much, there had always been this emotional wall between them. Neither of them had dared to break it up, although there had been attempts to do so. Maybe her past reserved behaviour towards Orli had been based on expectations of the same treatment, considering Orli's reputation. Instead, she'd been welcomed warmly and with open arms.

It was shocking for her, just as she had been shocked that Orli had silently given her the sign that she would take her potential rejoining to NCIS as a betrayal. She'd never missed the proud look in Orli's face whenever Ziva had come to inform her about the casual developments in her life, talking about her studies. She might think that Ziva was a formidable agent, but she also knew that for gaining what Ziva desired and wanted, she had to give up of such a career.

The strongest nagging thought of all, though, was the one about Tony's girlfriend. Orli had risked a fight to tell her some message and she couldn't quite figure out what message it should be. She could have just told her that it was none of her damn business and that she was supposed to be the last person in the world to judge someone for having an affair with a taken man.

 _If I didn't know about the level of affection Tony has for you, I would advise you to be more careful..._ Why should she be more careful? She trusted Tony completely, she had no doubts that he would break up with Zoe without further delays. The message was personal, she had the feeling that Orli had spoken from her own experience. Had her father promised Orli something he eventually hadn't kept?

And Ziva's eyes widened as the secret message had finally dawned on her. He'd surely promised to leave his wife and children behind to be with Orli and maybe have a new family with her, but it had never happened. He hadn't had enough courage to ever do it. And despite the break-up of her parents, he'd never officialised his relationship with the current Mossad director. She'd been condemned to be a mistress forever. And she hadn't wanted for Ziva to end up the same.

She didn't have more chances to dive into the thought to analyze it because the shower stopped and Tony emerged with a towel wrapped around his hips while he dried his hair with a second one. She turned on her stomach and peered at him through her eyelashes, watching as he found his boxers and took the garment on, unwrapping the towel and putting both back in the bathroom.

He came to her and lightly caressed her exposed back with his fingers. She hummed in delight and stretched her body lazily. "You smell so yummy." She breathed in his fresh scent with a smile.

He chuckled, sitting on the bed so he could kiss her and she turned her head to him obediently. "That's your chocolate shower gel." He explained, sniffling his arm for the effect. "You can take a quick shower, too, if you want."

"No, thanks." She replied, moving on the bed so he could join her which he did with pleasure. "I love the smell of your skin on me."

He leaned himself against the headboard of the bed and awarded her with a passionate kiss, sticking his hands below the sheets to caress her naked body. She snuggled next to his left side, her left arm loosely embracing his chest while her right hand reached out to play with his hair. Here and then, they both drank into the sight they had out of the window, showing them Jaffa Port in its morning hours.

They lay there for a couple of minutes, just relaxing. But Tony couldn't but to feel the heaviness in the atmosphere. Someone had been using her brain far too much, apparently. "You've been thinking." He stated knowingly his arms encircling her.

She looked up at him almost guiltily, though she had no reason to feel that way. But she knew that he wasn't ever pleased when she thought too much as it usually meant something heart-breaking for him. This time, however, she found herself looking into his curious face, ready to listen to whatever she'd been mulling over. She wasn't sure whether he really wanted to hear it, though.

"Care to share with the class?" He asked her with a soft smile on his lips when she didn't answer.

"Am I like her?" She blurted out without thinking, but curious about his answer.

He blinked a couple of times to sort out his thoughts as he tried to digest who the hell was _'her'_. He had a few names in his mind, but he didn't want to bring up any of them, honestly. "Who is 'her'? He asked carefully as she didn't seem to be in need to disperse his confusion.

She realized that he wasn't a mind reader so he could barely follow her train of thought. No wonder he looked so confused. "Orli. Am l like her?" She clarified and didn't dare to breathe to hear his reply.

Aside from having mutual feelings towards Eli David, though in completely different ways, working for the same organization, and having some affection for him, he'd never seen any similarity between these two women. He guessed that Ziva thought he would know what she was talking about but as much as he tried, he couldn't find any specific similarity that would lead to the question she had asked.

" _He had the feeling that he must make a decision, and though he was used to making many decisions every day, this time he was beset with uncertainty; in fact, he had no idea what was being asked of him."_

"Where did this come from?" He questioned further, wanting to find out the _real_ reason of her sudden interest whether she was or wasn't like Orli.

She sighed wearily, pinching the bridge of her nose. "When you left and we talked, she asked me if I knew that you had a girlfriend." She explained, dismissing his silent question about Orli's vast knowledge of his life. "I wasn't sure why she was bringing that up in view of the fact that she's probably the last one in this planet to judge me, considering her past."

He nodded in agreement while she started to draw little circles with her fingers on his chest. "Either way, when I told her I knew about it and that I completely trusted you," she continued absent-mindedly, "she said that if she hadn't known about the level of affection you have for me, she would have advised me to be more careful. To wait until you settled all your matters and then officially enter into a relationship with you."

He remained silent, waiting for her to gather her thoughts and finish what she'd begun. "I know she tried to tell me something. There was something hidden between the lines." She sighed deeply, her mind creating images of possible futures of 'what ifs'. "And now, as I was thinking, I finally realized what she tried to warn me about."

She dismissed the images out of her head, just as the tears threatened to create in the corners of her eyes. "She didn't want me to end up like her. She wanted to spare me the fate of being 'the third one' in a love triangle." She said with a hint of gratefulness in her voice, drawing the imaginary triangle in the air.

His eyes studied her intently, still weighing the options of what really was behind this thinking of hers. But he knew better already and let her reach the original destination of her train of thoughts. At least, he started to understand where the sudden notion of comparison had come from. As much as he hated to admit it, they had technically made a love triangle at the moment.

"Because that's all she ever was. The third one. Mistress forever." Ziva clenched her hand into a fist, finally getting what kind of a coward her father was. "Whatever promises my father made were never kept. He didn't leave his family for her. He never had the guts to do it."

She wasn't angry for that she wanted it to happen. Not at all. She was angry because her father hadn't ended it with Orli. He'd rather kept both – his mistress and his family. It had been the ideal state for him. He hadn't cared how many people he could have hurt in the process. That had been typical of Eli David, after all. He and his work had always been on the first place.

"My mother did it instead of him. When she left him, she made it easier for him." She continued, her left hand tightly clutching his arm to ease up the anger. "And yet, he didn't officialise their relationship in public. I even wonder if he ever told her how he felt about her."

Tony couldn't help but feel a little pang of pride for that he was nothing like Eli, then. At first, he was in doubts whether this conversation was really about what she had claimed to be about, and not just pretext for expressing her mistrust towards him. But her question was 'Am I like her?', not 'Are you really going to break up with her?' and 'Why haven't you done so already?'.

She felt guilty because technically, she stole someone's man. And considering her family past, she'd never desired to be such a woman. Orli's words hadn't roused any doubtful and mistrustful feelings about his sincerity and resolve to break up with Zoe. It had caused doubting herself and her intentions, as well as nagging questions about her potential selfishness.

"Okay first off," he began and she turned her head to him in anticipation, "don't compare yourself with her in this regard. You haven't done the same thing as she did."

He put a finger on her mouth to shush her possible protests because he could see that she was opening her mouth to do exactly so. "You're not stealing a father of a family, Ziva. I'm not married to Zoe and we don't have kids together." He told her and she blinked a couple of times to acknowledge his words. "We're not even engaged and honestly, it has never looked that it would be that way."

His relationship with Zoe was about many things and one of them was her clear vision of marriage and having kids. That would happen when she was ready and when she thought it was fit. He didn't argue about it with her as he had no desire to get engaged and start a family, yet. Something inside him still hoped that the true love would come to him and he would do those things with the woman he really loved.

"If anything, I realized that I don't love her and I don't want to be with her anymore." He told her, reminding her their past conversations on this topic when they had come to the conclusions of his true feelings. "She's a lovely woman in many aspects, but she's not you. And I fell in love you first."

She pulled his head down for a kiss to award him for his sincere words and dispersing her doubts about herself. She believed in him now more than ever that he would do his best to lessen the pain for everyone. His heart was too chaste and his personality too moral than to mindlessly and selfishly cause people harm wherever he went. Too bad her father was already dead. He could pick up something useful from Tony.

"And about your father's affair with Orli," Tony continued when she released his lips, "I wouldn't put the whole blame on her."

She pulled away from him, taken aback by his words "What do you mean?" She asked him in irritation, sitting up on her knees and crossing her arms across her chest. She wrapped her body in the sheet as she didn't want to give him any ideas if she was naked.

He ran his hand through his hair with a weary sigh. "There must be two for having an affair, Ziva." He explained patiently and she rolled her eyes because she wasn't _that_ stupid. "And at least one of them has to be in a relationship so it could be called cheating."

"I know." She snapped in annoyance. "And I may be on good terms with Orli now but it will never change her role in breaking up my family."

Orli's intentions had never been to break up a family, she knew it. She had only targeted Eli for his high position in Mossad in hope for some career advancement for herself. But the woman had also fallen in love with him in the process and that had never supposed to happen. Her father had developed certain feelings too, but had refused to leave his family for her. And so her family had inevitably headed towards destruction.

Tony was surprised that she was able to defend and feel sorry for Orli in one second, and bash her in the next. "Look, I know you once said that your father was most likely weak." He took her by her hand, rubbing circles with his thumb on her palm to sooth her. "And maybe he really was. But he was also anything but stupid."

She didn't say anything, not wanting to start an argument and truth to be said, his reasoning had always brought her new point of view. And it'd been a long time since she had spoken about this with someone who was detached. She figured it wouldn't be waste of time to hear him out. With a gentle squeeze of his hand, she urged him to go on and tell her his thoughts.

"If Orli tried to achieve some higher position and better career that way," he went on, guessing that Orli had tried insinuate herself in Eli's favour first, and not immediately assaulting him with her sexual advances, "he must have been well-aware of her intentions."

Eli David was the tactical mastermind and so it would be a great surprise to Tony if he had lost his mind because of a woman, especially when he'd never publicly admitted his love for her. And for how long mankind had used flirting, sex-appeal and sex in general for getting what it wanted? Decades, centuries, maybe even millennia. Had the late Director of Mossad been so easily fooled? He didn't think so. If he hadn't known it since the beginning, then he'd certainly found about that at some point later, but definitely before his divorce.

"So, he was either very weak as I doubt he would let himself to be taken advantage like that," he assessed carefully, watching her closely if she had any intention to disagree with him, "or he gave in deliberately. And I sadly incline to believe the latter."

He couldn't judge the state of marriage in David family, he'd just been using regular psychology. And the way she was looking at him told him that he was right. She was the one who could judge it and she didn't object, didn't disagree, anything. More or less, she looked resignedly. As if her eyes that had been closed to the truth for the whole time, had finally seen the raw reality.

"I have never thought about it that way." She whispered, staring at him bewildered.

In her mind, it had always been Orli to blame. But what Tony had argued for made sense. Whatever young Orli Elbaz had offered to Eli, it had been worth enough for him to cheat on the woman he loved – her mother. It'd been that worth that he'd sacrificed his family's happiness. Although, she had to admit that his affair with Orli hadn't been the only reason for the break-up of her parents. There had been many other factors. But until the affair's revelation, her mother had tried to patch things up.

"You had your culprit," he said knowingly as he softly caressed her face with the back of his fingers, smiling when she leaned into his touch, "and your victim. You didn't the need to think about it any other way."

He could see she was shaken as what she had believed for most of her life suddenly dispersed into falsehood. "I don't want to lessen Orli's part in all of this, either." He calmed her down as he had to also agree that she had a point in Orli's role in breaking up Ziva's family. If the woman hadn't decided to get Eli David whatever it'd cost, it would have never happened. "But to put all blame on her is rather unfair, as well."

She nodded in agreement, concurring with him about his points. "I'm quite a moody mess, am I not?" She asked him with cute guilty expression, realizing her contradictory behaviour over Orli.

"I already got used to it." He chuckled and she playfully punched him into stomach. He didn't attempt to block her, instead he sat up straight and enveloped her into his arms. "Besides, you're mine moody mess."

She giggled as he sealed their love with a passionate kiss, dipping her head back. She could kiss him like that forever. On this yacht, on the open sea, under these silky sheets caressing their naked skins. Finally, they were creating some nice memories they could cherish in the following years, pushing away those bad ones and forgetting them once and for all.

* * *

But it was time to return back to the port. Ziva wanted to be done at her university by noon so she could take Tony for lunch to her favourite restaurant in Haifa. Also, she had so much to do. She needed to write the list of things that needed to be arranged for Orli, go to her apartment and talk to her roommate, not to mention introduce Tony to her, pack all the things she wanted to take with her in record time, leave message to Shmeil, send goodbye emails to all the friends she'd made with a promise that she would show up and have a farewell party after the new semester was over... Let's say that she was grateful for being able to sort out everything she needed to do in her head.

She got dressed and went up to the control panel of the ship so she could steer it back to the port. She sat down and started up the motors, heading towards the docks. Tony, wanting to make her company, stood on the stairs leading down to the private quarters, wrapped up in the sheets like an Ancient Roman in a toga. He refused to take his clothes on, yet, enjoying the fabric of the silky material that caressed his skin.

"What you're going to do with the yacht, now that you're moving?" He asked her as he watched her concentration over the steering. It was interesting to see how focused she looked while steering a ship as opposed her leisurely (and often dangerous) driving of a car.

"Probably going to sell it." She shrugged, feeling sad for that she had to give up of this cozy ship that had provided her the shelter on so many occasions.

"You can't do that! It's beautiful and comfy and you've certainly invested a lot of money in it." He objected immediately as he completely fell in love with this vessel. "Just keep it. It would be a shame to get rid of it."

She smiled at him bitterly. "I know that, Tony. But yachts have been designed for often use." She explained, focusing her eyes on the sea in front of her. "I can't keep it anchored here and use it during the sporadic visits."

He pouted but remained silent as he knew she was completely right. It was a luxury that had no good reason to hold on to. But something inside him had awakened and he felt possessive of the ship. He didn't see any reason why not to take the chance. Sure, the yacht wouldn't be _his_ , it would be still Ziva's. But as her boyfriend, he definitely had the benefits of using it.

"Then rent it. And make some money out of it." He offered a reasonable solution. She could always ascertain that the yacht would be free at the time of their future visit of Israel. "Or better – let's transport it to D.C."

At first, she chuckled at his fanciful ideas but when she saw the serious expression on his face, she realized that he wasn't joking. "Are you really suggesting transferring this yacht from Tel Aviv to D.C. that is on the other side of the planet?"

"Why not?" He reasoned, tightening the 'toga' around him. "There are companies that offer such a service. Just put it on the list for Orli and we can have the yacht in D.C. in no time."

They could find all the information they needed, prepare all the necessary documentation and find the right place where to anchor the yacht so they would have easy access to it. It didn't even have to be in D.C. but somewhere nearby. His father would be certainly willing to share his contacts in this matter, too. He could already see them sailing through Potomac River and maybe exploring the coastline of the United States if they had enough time.

He left the staircase and stepped behind her so he could convince her in his DiNozzo manner. "We have ports and harbours in D.C. Just as boat and yacht clubs." He whispered into her ear, tickling the side of her neck and she couldn't help but smile. "I'm sure _Talia_ will find her home somewhere."

He felt her resilience falter. She wanted to keep this ship, too. She appreciated what it meant to her father and in the same way, she cherished the yacht named after her sister. It wasn't just about having some luxury, some private spot to hide from the outside world. It was also a symbol of having her family with her, even though they were all gone. Just the thought that some unfamiliar people, however nice they might be, would use _Talia_ for themselves seemed unholy.

"It would be our love nest." He tried to convince her further as he trailed soft kisses alongside her neck, playing with her hair and she couldn't help but purr in delight. "Our solitary cottage by the sea. I would lock myself inside with you and stay there for a week. Or two."

She smiled at the image of them on this yacht, making love from dusk till dawn and from dawn to dusk, relishing in their loving relationship. "What would be we doing there for a whole week?" She asked him, though, just to tease him because she knew he had the same thoughts as she did.

"Oh, I have so many ideas..." He rasped, sucking on the jugular vein on her neck, sending her into a blissful oblivion, while his hands embraced her from behind.

She slightly turned her head sideways to kiss him fully on the lips by which she sealed that she agreed with his suggestion. Whatever money she would have to pay, she would get the yacht on the Potomac River so she could sail it together with Tony at her side. It was worth every penny she would spend on it, she was sure of it. He would take care of that in one way or the other.

She had to push him away, though, if she was supposed to navigate the ship carefully back in its place. He cleaned the glass of scotch after him and sat down in the lounge, just watching the sea behind them and enjoying the soft warm breeze. It was nice to change the climate. As much as he loved Prague, it was freaking cold for him. Israel was now meeting with his favourite conditions – not too hot, not too cold, just right for him to be content.

She literally parked the ship back where it had been earlier and jumped out of the seat to go secure it. As she went pass him sprawled on lounge seats, she stopped and crossed the arms across her chest. "Go get dressed, finally. You have a car to drive." She reproached him for his laziness and he feigned to reluctantly stand up.

Just as he wanted to go down the stairs, they could both hear someone calling Ziva's name from the outside. While the voice was unfamiliar to Tony, Ziva's eyes widened because she recognized the voice immediately. Her roommate. Before she could take any action, not quite being able to decide whether to tell Tony to hide or tell him to stay, a slim brunette with a hint of red in her hair in her late twenties appeared on the stern, running up the stairs and opening the door to the lounge.

"Hi, Zi-" The woman wanted to greet her friend cheerfully but the sight of Tony wrapped up in the sheets, hiding unsuccessfully behind Ziva, made her freeze. "Oh, hello." She suddenly gave a sultry purr, her body assuming a flirty position.

Ziva fought the urge to roll her eyes, because she knew that her roommate was practically Tony in skirts – flirting with everyone and on every occasion despite being taken. "Go change. I'll introduce you two later." She told Tony who waved at the woman that winked at him and disappeared into the private quarters to take his clothes on.

"You could have invited me to this party with naked men." The brunette winked at her playfully, the teasing smile spreading on her lips.

"I'm not having any party, Terri." Ziva protested and nudged her friend in a playful manner. "And naked man here is just one and he's entirely mine."

"Even _that one_ is enough." Terri licked her lips. She didn't see much as the naked man on her friend's yacht wore an attempt of a toga, but she did see enough to know that he was a fine material.

"So tell me – what are you doing here?" Ziva changed the direction of the conversation as she wanted to reveal who the naked man was a bit later.

Her friend smiled and pointed her finger out. "David and I went for a walk with Rex. When I saw your ship heading back to the port, I thought I'd say hi."

Ziva nodded and leaned out of the door to wave at David, her roommate's boyfriend who waved back at her and showed her that he'd already secured the yacht so she didn't have to do it by herself. She was also welcomed by a friendly and excited bark from the tan and black German shepherd named Rex that would immediately jump on the yacht to welcome the woman who was his owners' dear friend if it wasn't for the leash he was on.

"But what are you doing here?" Terri questioned Ziva in return, watching as Ziva gestured her thanks to David. "Weren't you supposed to be in Prague for another week or so?"

Ziva stuck her head back inside and smiled at her friend. "Yes, but I returned earlier. Actually, a couple of hours ago." She took her by her hand and sat her down on the lounge seats, knowing that she should start right away and not postpone the news much further. She had no time to spare, anyway. "There's something serious I need to talk to you about, you know?"

"Great! Because I need to tell you something important, too." Terri rubbed her hands in excitement, her eyes shining both with unimaginable joy and curiosity.

Ziva opened her mouth to speak but in that moment, Tony emerged from downstairs, finally with his clothes on and with a friendly smile on his lips. He was more than curious who the woman was, but he guessed it was some recent Ziva's friend as he had never heard of anyone like Terri from Ziva. Both women stood up so Ziva could start with the introduction.

"Tony, this is Terri. My roommate." She introduced her friend first and Tony reached out his hand to squeeze the brunette's hand. "And Terri, this is Tony DiNozzo. My boyfriend."

She didn't hesitate to say it and Tony couldn't be happier about it. For the first time in his life, he was introduced to someone else as _her_ boyfriend. He loved the way it sounded when it came out of her mouth. It sounded so strange, yet so familiar in a way. He really couldn't feel any more content at the moment. He flashed his brand smile at Ziva's friend and he didn't even have to make much effort to be charming.

"Nice to meet you, Tony." Terri squeezed his hand back in greetings, rolling her eyes at Ziva because the word 'boyfriend' didn't go unnoticed. And then something hit her. "Wait a second... _That_ Tony?"

She really couldn't be meeting that mysterious man from her roommate's life. The man Ziva had spoken about constantly, yet revealed so little about him. He always seemed to her like a character from some ancient legend, because that was the way Ziva had always mentioned him. As something that belonged to the past and never would be retrieved again. Apparently, that wasn't true anymore.

"I see you've heard about me before." Tony remarked with an amused smile, winking teasingly at Ziva who blushed deeply.

"Oh, you can bet I did!" Terri exclaimed with a chuckle. "Look, she doesn't speak much about her past and I'm not pushing her about it. But your name always accidentally slips out of her mouth here and then. She's always all about 'Tony would do this and Tony would say that.'"

Ziva's blush deepened and Tony looked at her with interest. He wondered whether she'd been mentioning also anyone else but him. But if it proved anything then it was that he was embedded deep inside her heart and even if she tried forcefully to delete him out of there, she couldn't. He sympathized with her a lot as he couldn't force her out of his mind, either, and he'd tried a lot.

"In some moments, I even think you're her imaginary friend." Terri joked further, nudging Ziva playfully. "But now I see you're a real man of flesh and blood. And what a flesh indeed."

Tony, being used to such an open flirting like that, didn't even bet an eyelash. He stayed calm as even Ziva didn't show any sign of jealousy, so he figured that it was Terri's normal behaviour. And he could only blame himself for receiving the compliments, considering he had refused to take any clothes on and stood wrapped up in the sheets that hadn't left a much for imagination.

"She once told me that we two would get along pretty well." Terri winked at him and Tony laughed heartily.

"Yeah, and the prediction is coming true right in front of my eyes." Ziva interjected and turned Terri back to her so she could continue where she'd been interrupted. "You see, Terri, Tony and I got together after all."

She took her by her hands and sat her back down on the lounge seat, with Tony joining them behind Ziva's back to offer his support. "And because he's living in the United States, I'm moving there to be with him." She broke the news to her roommate who had gotten her friendship easily as she was very amiable person. "I arrived from Prague a week earlier, because I'm transferring my courses to University of Maryland with the beginning of the new semester."

Terri was rendered speechless as her eyes widened in surprise. She was aware of that this man meant a world to Ziva and that there had been some obstacles that had been preventing them of getting together. But Ziva had always described those obstacles as completely insurmountable, even though he seemed to be the only thing she wanted and needed to be happy. If she had finally stopped denying herself the happiness, then she as her friend, could only be thrilled with her choices.

"I know it's all on short notice, but..." Ziva continued because she knew there were so many things to explain but the time pressure was high.

"Stop right there!" Terri interjected, squeezing her hands quickly. "That's wonderful! If you want to be with the love of your life then I'm so happy for you. Come here!"

She enveloped Ziva into a warm hug and Tony had to smile at the vision which resembled a lot to crushing hugs of dear Abby. The more he was excited to return back home because he couldn't wait to see the rest of the team reacting on his new girlfriend. He expected that there would be caution and maybe even mistrust, but he was also convinced that they would all work on it if they saw him finally happy.

"You deserve the happiness so much, Ziva." Terri whispered, pulling back out of the hug, being so overjoyed for her friend.

"Thank you." Ziva said with emotion since the next words just didn't want to get out of her mouth easily. "But it means that I have to leave our apartment. Now, I don't want you to lose the roof over your head, so we need to reach some agreement."

Technically, the apartment was hers. She had bought it from her vast inheritance. But it was too large just for herself and when her schoolmate had started searching for not too much expensive place to live, she'd offered to share the apartment together. It had brought them closer and they had become good friends. She just couldn't kick her out just because she'd wanted to move out. And Terri didn't have enough money to live there all by herself.

Terri smiled, touched by her thoughtfulness. "Don't worry about me, okay? I'm a big girl and I can handle myself." Then she took a deep breath, her heart fluttering inside her chest, threatening to burst. "Remember that I need to tell you something important, right? Well... I'm moving out of the apartment, too."

Ziva stared at her in complete shock at first. Then she slowly smiled. There was only one reason why would her roommate move somewhere else – her relationship with David had moved further. Finally, if she could add, as even though the man was adorable and all, his English nature had been tying him to express himself properly quite often. It had caused countless disputes between the ever-temperament Terri and always-reserved him. On the other hand, their personalities were exactly what attracted them to each other.

"Don't tell me that you and David are going to live together." Ziva breathed out, trying to lock up her excitement inside as she didn't want to make any assumptions.

"Even better." Terri revealed and held out her hand excitedly as a radiant smile, worth of an advertisement for toothpaste, spread on her face.

Ziva looked at the giant diamond that decorated a simple golden band of an engagement ring that glittered on her roommate's finger. "Oh my God!" She gasped, taking her hand and inspecting the beauty of the ring she had completely overlooked earlier. "Congratulations, Terri! Now, I'm so happy for you!"

"Thanks, Zivie." Terri smiled and played with the ring on her finger. It still felt a bit odd to have it there but damn, she was glad it had finally happened.

They all were silent for a while, brimming over with curiosity to know what happened. Tony wanted to know more about Terri and her soon-to-be-husband so he could get the picture, Ziva was dying to know how the proposal had gone and how come that David had finally had the guts, while Terri was interested in finding out how Ziva had met the man behind her and how they had fallen in love.

Intense barking from outside had disrupted the tense atmosphere. "Look, I gotta go." Terri stated apologetically. Her dog couldn't be without her for long. "I know we have so much to say to each other and there's so little time... You're heading to school now, right?"

Ziva nodded in agreement. "Yes, I want to be done by noon, stop by for a lunch and when I return I want to start packing." She lowered her head, ashamed of herself that she was leaving indefinitely in such a short time. She'd been doing it again – just disappear without properly saying goodbye. "We're leaving on Sunday, early morning."

"Oh, so soon..." Terri noted sadly but then her face lit up. "Nevermind, we'll get this done. What about rendezvous in four tonight? I'll fix the dinner with David for all of us and we can just sit down and talk."

Ziva considered it for a moment but Tony was faster than her. "That'll be great." He appreciated the invitation and was actually looking forward to it.

Bidding their respective goodbyes, Terri left the yacht and left Tony and Ziva alone once more. Those two didn't idle, quite the contrary. Ziva quickly gathered their things, switched off the lights and locked up the yacht. Carefully, they both got off the boat and stepped on the wharf, locking the iron gate behind them. Hand in hand and with last wistful look on _Talia_ they went back to Ziva's car.

_**The End of Chapter 19** _


	20. Chapter 20

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 20** _

Once inside the car, Tony adjusted the driver's seat according to his needs, while Ziva typed in the route into GPS, instructing him how to get to the University of Haifa. In less than two hours, they should be there which gave them enough time to get their things done and look around, as well, as it was around 9 AM at the moment. The Israeli sun pleasantly shone on their way as Tony leisurely started to drive through the streets of Tel Aviv.

"So, how did you and Terri become such friends?" He asked her eagerly, watching as she opened the glove compartment and pulled out a tablet with the portable keyboard.

"We're in the same class, so when she was looking for a place to live, I offered her to live with me." She answered as she switched on the tablet and waited for everything to load.

"She's not Israeli, is she?" He noticed that her accent was purely American. South-eastern, probably North Carolina, he would guess.

Ziva secured the tablet on the tablet holder she had in her car and attached the portable keyboard, constructing a laptop substitute. "Well, she was born in the United States. But she's half-American and half-Israeli." She replied as she stuck inside the USB modem, connecting the tablet to the internet. "Her father is Major in Marine Corps, and her mother is Israeli surgeon."

She looked at the road to see if Tony was driving in the right direction, but since he could drive only forward on the Namir Road that led straight to Highway 2 where Haifa was, it wasn't too hard. Thankfully, the traffic was okay so far. She prayed for no car accidents or traffic restrictions on the way so they wouldn't stick somewhere. She really didn't have much time to just loaf around.

"Retracing her roots here?" Tony asked in a knowing tone, guessing that she had related with Terri on that level.

"Not exactly." She replied, throwing away a bunch of spam emails from her email box, freezing when she noticed 'Merry Christmas Wish' from Abby. After a moment of hesitation, she moved the email to a folder called 'Abby' and labelled it with red colour so she wouldn't forget to return to it later.

"Her parents divorced when she was sixteen and she decided to stay with her father because of school and friends. Her mother returned back to Israel together with her little brother but she visited them often. " She explained further after she had overcome the shock because she hadn't gotten any email from Abby for quite a while. Not even for her birthday. "When she got the chance to study her beloved history here, she took it. David also played part in her decision."

"So they knew each other before?" Tony questioned further, gearing up as the line in front of the light had moved and they continued their way forward.

Ziva nodded in affirmation as she opened a new email and put Orli as a receiver. "He works at the British Embassy in Tel Aviv and before that, he was assigned to the British Embassy in the US." She replied as her fingers hovered over the keyboard, mulling over whether to write the to-do list in the order of importance or just write down the first thing that came to her mind and then re-order it. "Her father introduced them on some soirée."

"And what's up with the engagement?" Tony took interest in the excitement he had witnessed back on the yacht. "It seemed as if it should never happen."

Ziva started to type and chuckled. "Because it shouldn't. You see, David is from very wealthy and traditional family. An only child whose parents dote upon. The only heir of the vast inheritance."

Tony nodded in understanding, speeding up the car and checking the GPS to see if he was going the right way. "They don't see her as worthy, do they?"

"Indeed." Ziva replied with noticeable disgust in her voice. "She's from a broken family, her parents live a world apart and moreover, she's a half-breed, as they once called her." She shuddered at the memory since she'd been a witness to this failed meeting with David's parents.

Tony rolled his eyes but didn't comment further. Some families, especially those traditional ones, clung onto the purity of their lineage. It was typical that one of the family members broke the rule at some point and married to a commoner. He could imagine what kind of insults Terri must have gone through during the meetings with her boyfriend's parents. And he felt sorry for her.

"I couldn't believe my ears when they also said 'feel free to have fun with her but never even consider marrying her'." She added as her fingers flew over the keyboard, hitting the 'Enter' button a bit too violently. She just didn't like when the people she cared about were demeaned for whatever reason. The more she had been angry when David had said nothing to oppose his parents.

He shook his head in disbelief, changing the gear to the higher speed as he finally had a free road in front of him. "One would wonder what they would do if she got pregnant." He remarked, looking over at her and admiring her focused stance.

"I don't think I want to know that." She answered, knowing that if it ever happened, it wouldn't be pleasant for anyone and least of all Terri. "Not that it matters, anyway. I guess that he has stood up to his parents, if he proposed."

She registered his humming in acknowledgement, while she minimized the email she was currently writing and clicked on a tab with her mailing list to give Orli the right contact. She copied the email address and returned back to the email, pasting it inside. Intending to do the same thing once again, she minimized the window and clicked on the tab with her mailing list while she threw an eye on the road.

When her eyes focused again on the screen, she saw that she hadn't clicked on the tab she had wanted to, but on the 'Abby' folder. The 'Merry Christmas Wish' was almost reproachfully shining at her with the red colour of the label as if it demanded from her to stop ignoring it. She opened it and couldn't help but chuckle as a gif of a dancing skeleton wished her Merry Christmas.

"You didn't tell anyone about us, did you?" She asked him for assurance as she still wondered why Abby had suddenly sent her an email after such a long period of silence.

"No," Tony replied, looking over at her to catch her biting her bottom lip. "McGee thinks I'm still in Prague, so no one knows. Why?"

She sighed, rubbing her chin in contemplation. "Abby sent me a Christmas Wish. Which is odd because she didn't send me anything for more than a year." For assurance, she checked the folder with the name of her Goth friend but her claim was true. "She used to send me an email once in a while but then it suddenly stopped."

Tony gulped and tried not to think about that date when Abby had most likely decided not to write Ziva any email anymore. He was pretty sure when it had stopped. The conversation he had had with Abby down in her lab would forever stay in his memory and it was certainly the reason why Abby had decided not to contact Ziva any longer since all her emails had been without any response.

He remembered very well the way she'd hugged him and told him that they needed to talk, because he'd been refusing to talk about anything connected to Ziva or even admit that the year had been really hard for him. He had tried to convince her that he was happy with his life but it'd been fake and she had seen right through it. She'd also known who was still on his mind, never leaving and always remaining.

He recalled clearly as she'd forced him to say that person's name aloud, after so many months of holding it back. Ziva's name had been on his mind constantly, but he'd avoided of saying it as it would have meant that his grief had been too real, too painful. And he had had no strength to deal with that. It had been better to pretend how happy he'd been and occupy himself with something else, than trying to heal his damaged heart.

_I love Ziva, but she left us. She is gone._ Those were the words Abby had said afterwards, and he realized that it had been the moment Abby had finally accepted that fact, too. _And you can't keep putting your life on hold, waiting for her to show up, because... she probably never will._ He couldn't help but wonder how Abby would react on Ziva being back, considering what she had said. That email certainly was odd, he had to agree. Well, their homecoming certainly should be interesting...

"I think you read too much in that." He eventually commented because Ziva was watching him intently, apparently waiting for some reaction. "After all, you'll have a chance to ask her about it soon."

"True." Ziva agreed and returned back to writing her email, letting Tony drive in peace and with his own thoughts.

* * *

In no time, they were on the road leading straight to Haifa and the Eshkol Tower*1 towered on the horizon in front of them. Ziva switched off the tablet, putting it back into the glove compartment and started to stare out of the window on the nature around them. Since they were riding along Carmel Hai-Bar Nature Reserve*2, there was a lot to observe and see.

The civilization welcomed them unexpectedly as a huge parking lot for the Mount Carmel National Park full of cars appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Ziva indicated to Tony to turn right on the oncoming traffic circle behind the notice board with 'Haifa' inscription written in Hebrew, Arabic, and Latin to get them to the campus of the university. After a couple of minutes of searching, they managed to find a good place for parking the car.

Tony felt the change immediately when they both exited the vehicle. He always had that feeling whenever he found himself within the premises of university. This was a place of the academic world. Educated people, the best of the best passed on their professional knowledge and wisdom, and their students listened to them (mostly) with interest. It was always like entering a completely different world.

Even the Ziva he knew changed. She was no longer the ex-Mossad ninja assassin, but a dutiful student, despite her age. Her posture somehow changed, her head proudly raised as she observed their surroundings, apparently being delighted to show off in front of him. Because if he deserved anything, then it was to know what her life was like after she'd refused his offer for a different kind of living.

And she did so. When they entered the main building, she showed him everything she could and what it meant for her. And so he briefly saw Hecht Museum*3 with its displays of archaeology and history of Israel, including Ma'agan Michael Ship, a well-preserved boat from 5th century BC, a library, a bookstore, her favourite copy machine, coffee shop, restaurant with an overview of her favourite meals, and even a vending machine she used to buy drinks and other various snacks.

He made a joke about Bishop loving the place with all the junk food around while they were taking the stairs up towards the Student Administrative Division to which Ziva replied that she didn't believe to all his stories about Ellie's appetite. He didn't mind it, though, knowing that it had to be witnessed to really believe it. But he knew that she would be surprised soon enough.

She hesitated before knocking on the door of her study department supervisor since she knew that what she was about to do, couldn't be easily taken back. Having the open back door for so long, she couldn't help but being afraid of finally closing it. And as always, he made her decisions easier. He stood up behind her and lightly put his arms around her waist to give her more confidence.

"Breath in and out." He whispered and she did as he commanded. "I know it's going to be a hell of a change, but we're going to make it."

He simply felt that she could be reluctant to do this step. After all, she was transferring her courses for this semester only to go with him to D.C. right away. There was another option – letting her to finish the new semester here, in Israel and leave the moving for summer with application to the University of Maryland in the meantime. But he desperately needed her to be with him the whole time. And she was doing everything she could to execute it.

She tilted her head to accept the sweet peck on her lips and resolutely knocked a couple of times on the door, ignoring his teasing hints in the form of clicking his tongue how he imagined she should have knocked. Opening the door, she remained standing on the threshold. She introduced herself first and present the reason why she'd come before the woman invited her in, telling her that she was expected.

When the door closed behind her, logically leaving Tony abandoned on the corridor, he shoved his hands into his pockets, looking around to find anything interesting. He tried the display cases if they held any noteworthy information but all the text was mostly written in Hebrew, so completely unreadable for him apart from a couple of words he recognized.

He sat down on one of the benches on the corridor, feeling unsettled. Since he'd left the Unites States, he hadn't had any silent while for himself. And he hated to be with himself, honestly. It challenged his mind in a way he would love not to at the moment. He wanted to enjoy his current happiness and not to think about the team's reaction to Ziva's homecoming, his relationship with Gibbs and how to fix it, not to mention his relationship with Zoe and their inevitable break-up. It all still seemed to be in a distant future.

With his elbows on his knees, he rubbed his head with his palms, trying to sort out his thoughts, but failing miserably. His mind was reeling and he cast longing looks at the door in hope that Ziva would show up and save him from this madness. He realized how her presence was important to him for not going insane and how she was able to keep him on the top of the things and make him feel secure.

When he thought that his head would burst out, one of the doors on the corridor opened. He immediately shot a look in that direction, hoping for Ziva but was left with disappointment when an older white-bearded man with white hair held the door for a younger one with brown hair to leave. They exchanged some words in Hebrew from which he distinguished only _'shalom'_ as they said goodbye to each other.

The older man closed the door behind him and the younger man went over to the bench, putting down his briefcase so he could stuff some papers inside without crumpling them up. He lifted his head up when he registered that he wasn't alone in the corridor and sent the motionless Tony an awkward smile, typical for two strangers who accidentally met. Tony returned the smile in the same way but didn't lower his eyes.

He noticed that his unexpected companion was well-built, though he could use some exercise to gain some muscles. It was clearly evident thanks the casual attire the man wore. He had brown hair and brown eyes and the shade of skin a little lighter than Ziva's. He looked more like European, to be honest, although unmistakeably Jewish according to Tony's personal experience. His age was around 30, maybe slightly over 30 but still far away from Tony's actual age.

"Good Morning." Tony greeted him after the man looked at him once more, apparently feeling his gaze on him. He used English instead of Hebrew to sign that he wasn't Israeli.

"Morning." The man replied politely in plain English but with a discernible Israeli accent. He narrowed his eyes as he measured Tony with sudden interest. He had the impression that he might have seen his face somewhere. "Waiting here for your daughter?"

Tony had to bite his tongue strongly to stop himself from a snarky retort that was creating on his tongue. He certainly didn't look _that_ old to have a daughter on the university, but whatever. That man was just well-mannered, trying to converse with him. There was no need for Tony to be impolite just because that man had guessed wrongly his reason for being here.

"No, girlfriend." He answered instead and threw another longing look on the door behind which Ziva was.

"Ah." The stranger remarked and returned back to arranging the stuff in his briefcase.

Tony didn't like the tone at all. Actually, he came to the conclusion that he didn't like the man, either. There was something about him that just felt... wrong. Maybe him being snotty or haughty, or the fact that he had considered him being a father to an already adult child, he didn't know what exactly it was. But he knew that if the man wanted to spend some more time in the corridor with him, he didn't want to be there.

"Look, you seem to know your way around here." Tony began and stood up to level himself with the stranger, dropping all formalities. "Do you have any idea where restrooms are?"

Again, the man just narrowed his eyes and measured him as if eyes had inbuilt laser vision or something. For a moment, it seemed that he finally remembered where he'd seen Tony's face but then the moment of recognition disappeared out of his face as he internally dismissed the idea. "Sure. At the end of the corridor." He pointed out with his hand.

Tony thanked with a nod and passed by the man, feeling relieved that he didn't have to be in his presence anymore. He'd noticed that he'd tried to recognize him and wondered himself who the man could be to have the feeling that they might know each other. Because he was sure that they hadn't met. Still, the hunch that he shouldn't like this man and trust him was pretty much present.

He opened the door from restrooms and slipped inside. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he checked it and saw a text from McGee who just wanted to assure himself that Tony was coming back to D.C. on Sunday as planned with Merry Christmas written at the end. For a minute, he pondered whether to text back or not as he knew McGee's IT skills were admirable and if he dug deep enough, he could find out his current location.

Eventually, he decided to answer the text because silence could be exactly that trigger for Tim to start snooping around. And he was sure that especially after his mysterious escape to Europe, his surrogate brother was constantly on alert about Tony's mental state. He was incredibly grateful for all Tim's support because he would have gone insane if it hadn't been for the voice of reason of his favourite nerd.

He dutifully answered on all the Christmas Wishes he'd gotten, smiling at Abby's typically Goth attitude and heart-warming wish from his father who was uncharacteristically sweet. He realized that his trip to Europe must have been discussed among his colleagues because Ellie texted him a lovely message saying: _"Wherever you are right now, have a Merry Christmas. We all love you. Ellie."_

As he was in the restrooms, he decided to use the toilet and after he washed his hands, he thought he heard some voices on the corridor. Praying that the stranger was gone as he'd given him like 15 minutes to disappear, so he could wait for Ziva in peace, he opened the door from the restrooms and stepped back out on the corridor, immediately turning his head to see if Ziva was out already.

There were a couple of students just passing through and chatting among themselves, but Tony had eyes only for the two people on the farther side, his blood boiling in his veins. He saw that the stranger hadn't left yet. No, he was currently talking to Ziva, _his girlfriend_ , and as he could see, he was purposely disturbing her personal space, his face too close to Ziva's for his liking.

He was expert in flirting for years, so he didn't need much to know that the man was flirting with Ziva. His hunch was totally right, there was something wrong about him. He had to know that this woman had to be the girlfriend he was waiting for. _How did he dare to go for a taken woman?_ So much for his politeness, when he had the impudence to steal women who belonged to someone else.

His legs carried him numbly, yet decisively through the corridor, reducing the distance between him and the talking pair. He could see that Ziva was smiling at the man with a smile of familiarity. Yet, she was distant enough not to give him any chance to become too much intimate with her. Not that Tony had any worries about her, her ninja moves might not be that nimble as they had used to be, but still that kind of training she'd been through wasn't something a person would forget easily. Especially if self-defence was instinctive.

He didn't really think through what he would do once he reached Ziva and the stranger, but he knew that he wouldn't become violent or anything like it. Ziva wouldn't welcome it, anyway, and he really had no mood to argue with her. He needed to play it out carefully. Simply, give the man a hint to bugger off and leave her alone, while not looking as obsessively possessive boyfriend.

"Are you already done?" He asked Ziva, interrupting her conversation with the stranger, encircling her from behind and smiling widely when she didn't startle but comfortably snuggled against his chest.

"Not yet. She's processing the documentation right now." Ziva replied, touching his arm warmly and momentarily having her eyes only for him. "She'll call me in when she's finished."

Tony sent a threatening look to the stranger who just stood there and observed closely their interaction. Ziva disentangled herself from his embrace, realizing that she should do the proper introduction as she knew both men. She didn't want this accidental meeting turn to into some awkward battle between them, treating her like some sort of an object. And she felt Tony's effort to prevent it, as well.

"Uhm Tony," she turned to him with a smile and waved her hand towards the stranger, "this is Ben."

Her tone was firm enough, secretly saying 'you-know-who' and Tony recalled their conversation from the first day they had met. Ben, her ex-boyfriend, a guy she had dated with. Ben who had had the same function as Zoe in his life. The man who had momentarily filled the void in her heart, but never for real. A former teaching assistant who should be in Rhode Island right now, teaching at Brown University.

"Since he has Christmas break, he came home to visit his family." Ziva explained Ben's presence in Israel as if she read Tony's mind.

"And Ben," she turned to the other man, repeating her gesture but towards Tony, "this is Tony DiNozzo."

"Your boyfriend." Ben stepped in boldly and reached out his hand to shake it with Tony as if it was some competition who was more polite and so better for Ziva.

Tony accepted his hand, using the most firm squeeze he was capable of. "Well, nice to meet you, Ben." He said as he looked straight into the man's eyes. Again, Ben's tone was too haughty when he'd acknowledged him as Ziva's partner and it annoyed him. "I've heard about you. A little."

He wanted him to know that even though he had dated with Ziva, she was completely healed out of her relationship with him and she didn't have any reason to recall what it'd been like. Thus, she had no reason to tell anybody about her time with him since it was so meaningless. His squeeze was crushing right now, but so was Ben's. The man didn't seem to want to step down.

"Strange. I haven't heard about you a single thing." Ben retorted with a mocking smirk, returning the firm squeeze of hand with an incredible force.

Tony immediately knew that it was a lie. If his name slipped out of Ziva's mouth here and then as Terri had said, then she'd also had to say his name in front of the man she'd dated with. It's not something anyone could control. Besides, he finally realized why Ben had been measuring him up so closely earlier – he'd recognized his face. Ziva had probably kept some photo or something, and Ben had seen it.

"It doesn't surprise me." Tony didn't let himself to be thrown off balance, refraining to accuse Ben of lying. "After knowing Ziva for a decade, I know that she doesn't talk about her past with people she doesn't completely trust to."

It was like a knife stabbed into Ben's chest and twisted for increasing the pain. Tony sensed quite well that one of the reasons for their break up had been Ziva's inability to open more. And considering how she really felt about him, it hadn't really had any meaning to share her past with him. Ben hadn't been her future. It was also Tony's inner victory as he was one of those with whom Ziva has shared her past without actually knowing him. He'd known about Tali long before anyone else in the team.

While Ben stood there like a dejected fool, Ziva leaned against the wall with her arms crossed, not interjecting into the interchange. She'd expected a scene like that since she'd left the supervisor's office and had met Ben on the corridor with Tony nowhere in sight. It'd been only a matter of time until he would show up. And it was highly amusing to watch the suspenseful interaction between them.

If she omitted the lie Ben had said, the meeting had been civilized so far which she was satisfied with. So unless things got violent or too intense, she knew she had to give them the space to measure who was better. Not to mention that she would be lying if she didn't admit that she felt a certain level of satisfaction that she was wanted by two men. It was... rewarding, in a way. And flattering.

" _Shalom, Miss David._ _Ani ro'e She'at lo mebazbezet z'man."*_ 4 A deep voice behind the trio addressed to Ziva and she immediately stood to attention, making both men to do the same.

" _Shalom, adoni. Ata tsodek."*_ 5 She answered in Hebrew with a smile to the bald old man whose presence caused natural respect in the nearest surroundings.

He returned her the smile and turned to Ben, exchanging with him a couple of words in Hebrew, as well. They seemed to know each other which wasn't a surprise, considering that Ben had worked as a teaching assistant on the university. Ziva turned back to Tony and whispered words 'Ami Ayalon' to him, so he would know who the man was and pay the appropriate respects to the older man.

Tony remembered the name clearly as Ziva had mentioned him as an old friend of her father. Former director of Shin Bet, commander-in-chief of the Navy and Minister without Portfolio, currently doing many other things, utilizing his professional experiences. He'd been one of the recipients of Ziva's email with her request to transfer courses to the United States.

The conversation between him and Ben seemed to gain some of the younger man's confidence back as he proudly stuck out his chest when the older man squeezed his arm friendly while speaking. He felt more important than Tony now. The current Chairman of the Executive Committee talked to him first, not paying attention whatsoever to the American outsider.

When they broke off their dialogue, the former Shin Bet director finally turned his attention to Tony with a question in his face. "I'm Anthony DiNozzo." Tony reached out his hand in an introduction which the man accepted with courtesy. "It's a pleasure to meet you, sir."

The man nodded in greetings, his eyebrows furrowing in contemplation. "DiNozzo, DiNozzo... I've heard that name." He said, trying to classify Tony somewhere in his mind.

Each of them reacted differently to this piece of information. Ben shot an odd look to Tony, wondering who the hell he was that such a man like Ami Ayalon would know his name. Tony had that 'oh-no-another-one-that-knows-my-father' look on his face and Ziva just smiled sadly, having the notion what her father might have said about Tony to other people.

"You work for NCIS, right?" Ayalon eventually asked Tony, putting two and two together as he knew most about Ziva's career.

"Yes, sir." Tony confirmed with evident relief that it wasn't about his father. "With Special agent Gibbs."

"Formidable agent as I have heard." The old man assessed, glancing at the crestfallen Ben who just realized that he was completely out of their league. World of secret agencies was something absolutely unfamiliar to him. "How's Director Vance doing?"

Now it was Tony's turn to feel all confident and he didn't omit to internally dance over Ben's failure. "He's fine. Definitely better than he was, sir." He replied sincerely, guessing that the old man knew about all the circumstance of Eli's death and that had been the reason why he'd asked such a question.

"That's good, especially after the unfortunate death of his wife." Ayalon confirmed Tony's guesses and lightly squeezed Ziva's shoulder in an attempt to comfort her and she gratefully accepted it. Apart from Ben who looked more and more confused, they all knew what had happened that fateful night when Eli David and Jackie Vance left this world forever.

"And what is Tom Morrow up to these days?" The old man asked after a short moment of silence.

The change of the topic was welcomed by all of them. "Still with the Department of Homeland Security." Tony replied and took Ziva by her hand as she made a step closer to him in sudden need of his proximity. "We see him once in a while."

"When you do, give him my regards. It's been some time since I've had the pleasure to talk to him." Ayalon said, closely observing the interactions between the couple in love. Tony nodded in affirmation with a smile and put his arm around Ziva, rubbing her back soothingly.

"Well, I have to go." The old man announced and looked straight at the only woman in the corridor. "I'm sad that we're losing such a talented asset like you, Ziva. But I can see the reason why you're doing it." He then looked directly at Tony and a silent understanding passed between the two men about ensuring Ziva's happiness.

They bid their respective goodbyes and Ayalon started his way out, leaving the trio behind him. "Are you coming, young man?" He addressed to Ben who unhappily stood in the corridor, not knowing what to do with himself.

Ben lifted his head up and looked at the old man with surprise. Ayalon was giving them all chance to end this little meeting with dignity, plus giving Ben the honour to accompany him and leave Tony and Ziva alone. He turned his head back to Ziva who almost imperceptibly nodded in agreement. She was really happy to see him once again, but her heart was already done with him.

"Well... I guess that's goodbye." Ben commented sadly and leaned in to give Ziva a peck on her cheek, but Tony turned his body to create a shield between him and her. Ben gave up and only lifted his hand to caress her lightly on her face.

" _Addio*_ _6_ , Ben." Tony said more sternly than he had intended, but it had the desired consequence. Ben retreated after Ziva bid him farewell, too, and turned on his heel, following Ayalon.

The couple stared after them, watching the tentative Ben walking away and catching up with Ayalon. Ben suddenly looked over his shoulder and Tony had enough. He took Ziva by her hand, swirled her around and pinned her against the wall, crashing his mouth on hers. Ziva yielded to his amorous assault, hooking her arms around his neck to bring him closer, not protesting for even a second.

Ben hurtfully turned his head back as Tony tasted the delicious corners of Ziva's mouth who returned him the kiss with the same amount of passion. His hands gripped her by her waist with urgency to prove his love while she leisurely played with the hair on the nape of his neck, making him to momentarily forget where he even was. He didn't even know anymore why he had kissed her, but he knew that he didn't want it stop.

"Never look back, son." Ayalon warned Ben, having pretty good idea what was happening behind them.

"No, sir." Ben replied, but his head turned anyway, his heart getting another hole.

Tony and Ziva were too wrapped up in each other to notice anything around them. When the need for oxygen prevailed, nevertheless, Tony broke the kiss regretfully and inhaled deeply. Ziva just leaned her head against the wall, grateful for being between the firm concrete and Tony's body because she doubted she could ever stand with weak knees like that. She still had a hard time to deal with such a mighty kiss.

"Whoa, what was that for?" She asked him breathlessly, fanning herself with her hand. She knew quite well what was going on here but she wanted him to admit it.

"Nothing, just..." He licked his lips, trying to come up with some good excuse but it seemed almost impracticable due to the haze he was in. "Just got overwhelmed by my love for you."

She raised her eyebrow in question, wondering if he really thought that she would believe him that. Carefully, she studied his face as he tried very much to hide the real reason for his sudden passion. "You're jealous." She accused him with an amused smirk on her face.

"No, I'm not!" He denied far too quickly, his ears reddening which gave him away more than anything.

"Yes, you are." She argued but nothing of her behaviour seemed that she minded it. If anything, the wide smile on her face certainly didn't look as if she was angry.

So he gave up on covering the truth and embraced her more tightly. "He hoped you're still available." He complained with a pout like a child, immediately hiding his head in the crook of her neck to breathe in her smell. He felt as if he had been about to lose her.

"He could hope for whatever he wanted." She said, rubbing his back soothingly to calm him down. Then she gently pushed him back up so she could look into his eyes as she held her finger under his chin. "I'm forever yours."

He swallowed her with another kiss, loving her so much for the words she'd just said. He knew that he was being silly since she'd assured him many times over the past few days that she had been serious about them. Yet, the fear that she would leave him – for another man, because of some stupid situation – was still deeply embedded inside him. He knew he had to work on it or the fear would destroy their relationship.

Their smooching session was interrupted by her study department supervisor who called her in to give her information she needed for the new semester abroad. Ziva dutifully and with pink cheeks went inside while Tony sat down again on the bench and patiently waited, feeling a lot better than he had earlier. At least he'd gotten to know the man Ziva had dated with and taken care of that potential threat.

Less than an hour later, they were sitting back in the car with Ziva behind the steering wheel as she headed towards what she called 'the best falafel in town'. Since she knew the way, he let her drive despite her obvious fatigue, but she insisted on driving, anyway. On the other hand, he had a wonderful view on the city of Haifa and it was a breathtaking sight for him.

Their way mostly led through the city circuit, so the traffic was quite smooth and their ride was even quite fast. He made a notice of the great contrast between modern architecture and the ancient one. It was completely different collision of cultures than he'd seen in Prague, but equally intriguing. It was fascinating to see how mankind had evolved in constructions and materials used during the building.

In the meantime, they discussed the order of the packing. When they would eat their lunch, they needed to go back to Tel Aviv to Ziva's apartment. Ziva reasoned that most of the furniture should stay here. It was a needless load that would cost money to transport and Tony's apartment was fully furnished. Besides, he told her that she could buy some new pieces in D.C. if she wanted to.

He counted with some different arrangement in his apartment, anyway. So far, his sanctuary was furnished just for one person. That had to change inevitably as he was supposed to have someone to share his living with. Bed shouldn't be a problem, but some new wardrobe in the bedroom for Ziva's needs was certainly needed. His bathroom was large enough for her to add her stuff. His kitchen was probably the only place she'd always envied him, so he didn't suppose that any changes would be needed. And the biggest adjustments would fall naturally on the living room.

When the furniture was decided, Tony suggested to Ziva to take the most of her clothes she could, because that was something she would need in any case. Ziva feigned her disappointment, pouting that she thought that she wouldn't need any clothes and they would spend all their time in bed. Tony retorted that if she insisted so, he would gladly fulfil her that wish and kissed her passionately when she stopped the car at the traffic lights.

It took her some time to recover but she continued in their ride smoothly, smacking his thigh to wipe off that self-satisfied smirk on his face. Either way, it was decided that she would take with her all of her clothes and other little necessities, while the rest would go into boxes and get delivered a bit later. If anything, most of her old stuff was stored in Gibbs' house, so she could also use those.

After a couple of minutes of driving, she parked the car on a busy street and made him get off. She led him through a street towards some fast food, as he guessed, stopping in front of a simple entrance to one of them with inscription _Falafel Hazkenim_ above. One of the older men, apparently the owner, immediately went over to Ziva and gave her a kiss on a cheek.

Those two started to chat in Hebrew while their orders had been prepared and Tony observed with interest the man who cooked their falafels. He could choose how much salad, vegetables, hot sauce and tahini dip he wanted into his pita bread together with the falafel balls. He was excited, because even though he'd heard about falafel, he'd never had it. And Ziva had usually agreed with his choice of a take-out whenever they'd eaten together in the past.

When their orders were finished, they bid their goodbyes and went outside to walk through the street back to the car. While Ziva was explaining to him what falafel was made of – ground chickpeas, fava beans of both, and that this recipe held a certain secret ingredient and that was the reason for its unique and delicious flavour – he inspected his pita bread filled with the vegetables and covered with the sauces.

"So, basically..." he commented on falafel and leaned against the car as Ziva bit from her own portion, "it's a substitution for meatballs."

_I can understand your suspicions, given what we have about you in your dossier... Agent Meatball._ He internally shuddered at the voice of Michael Rivkin starting to sound inside his head. He couldn't believe how many years had passed since the moment he had heard those words and how different people he and Ziva were. Well, Rivkin and all of Mossad could go to hell for all he cared. Ziva was his now, no matter how they all tried to misdirect her from him.

Ziva froze and looked up at him suspiciously. _Just tell him 'Agent Meatball' says "Hi"._ She remembered what he had told her when she went to have a dinner with her father. And she also remembered what she had answered. _He would not be joking with you if he did not like you, Tony._ She had never liked the way her father had nicknamed Tony and refused to call him like that. Her father had thought it was funny, though, due to Tony's Italian-American origin.

Tony's amused look told her that they were thinking about the same thing – his nickname given by Mossad. "I know what you want to say or ask, Tony." She said slowly and saw as the corners of his mouth twitched in a smile. "But I'm telling you right now, drop it."

He cheekily crossed his ankles and smiled at her cockily. "Well, I think I deserve an explanation." He commented as he bit into one of the falafel balls and hummed in appreciation over its deliciousness. It was pure curiosity that was driving him right now.

"Tony..." she warned him and took a step closer to him, "Stop it."

"But..." He tried to protest but did a muffling sound in the next second as she took his pita bread and stuffed it into his mouth, smearing the sauces all over his face.

She started to giggle as he bit on the bread since had no other chance, trying to catch the sauce that seemed to be everywhere. She opened the car and took a napkin box, handing it to him so he could clean himself. She held his bread while he tried to wipe the sauce off his face, eating her own in the meantime. According to her wish, he dropped the topic and afterwards focused on eating as they had a way from Haifa back to Tel Aviv in front of them.

_**The End of Chapter 20** _

* * *

*1 Eshkol Tower – skyscraper in Haifa in the premises of Haifa University. It has 30 floors and height of 102 metres. It's named after Levi Eshkol, fourth Prime Minister of Israel (third one if we don't count the second term of David Ben-Gurion).

*2 Carmel Hai-Bar Nature Reserve is a 1,500-acre centre for breeding and re-acclimation of certain species of animals (griffon vulture, roe deer, fire salamander etc.) situated within Mount Caramel National Park.

*3 The Reuben and Edith Hecht Museum – established in 1984. The exhibits include coins, weights, Semitic seals, jewellery, various artefacts, stone vessels, woodworking, glass making, mosaics and so on. There are also paintings of Manet, Monet, van Gogh, Modigliani etc.

*4 Hello, Miss David. I see you're not wasting time.

*5 Hello, sir. You're right.

*6 Addio means goodbye in Italian.


	21. Chapter 21

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 21** _

Ziva instructed Tony to park the car in front of the four-storey apartment building that was on the corner of the Max Brod Street and Alexander Sasha Argov Street in Ganei Tzahala neighbourhood in Tel Aviv. She got out of the vehicle and pointed out the roof apartment to show him where she lived for now. They ran up the stairs together and went inside, taking the elevator up to her floor, stopping in front of the door to the apartment.

They immediately heard scratching of dog's paws against the cherry wooden door with silver doorknob and tireless barking behind it. Ziva pulled up for a moment, realizing that she should brief Tony about Rex and tell him how to behave because Rex was really protective over his "pack" and Ziva had been included in it for a long time already. She didn't want her boyfriend to get hurt.

They heard some yelling behind the door, presumably caused by some wrestle between the dog and its owner. _"You can come in, I'm holding him!"_ Terri's muffled voice informed them, figuring out who was on the other side.

Ziva unlocked the door and entered the apartment, greeting Terri and telling Tony to keep standing at the door until she would greet with the dog. He listened to her, considering that he and German Shepherds hadn't always been great friends. Instead, he took into his surroundings and had to fight the urge to open his mouth wide because what he saw wasn't something he had expected.

The main apartment area was classical loft space with living room, dining area and the kitchen, all decorated in red, brown and green colours. The flooring was made out of cherry hardwood and the walls were white. On his right side, there was a shoe cabinet in dark brown wood-like design with four compartments. His left side was occupied by a giant dark brown dog bed with embroidered 'Rex' in yellow letters on it.

In front of him, there was a red-green rug with decent drawn leaves. Ziva was currently kneeling on it as she cuddled with the dog who was overjoyed to see her, licking her and jumping on her to show his excitement. Terri was leaning against a fluffy light-green armchair that matched the couch behind her. It was a little living room area with dark brown wooden coffee table with small drawers and matching living room wall with numberless shelves and a big hole for TV and other electronics. In the corner, they had a nice, artificial Christmas tree with gold, green and red decorations.

His look, just as Ziva's, fell on the classic, simple black piano between the couch and the shoe cabinet. Their luggage was down there, apparently put there by the Mossad agents. Ziva looked up apologetically at Terri to apologize silently for the intruders who had definitely had to walk through this door. She cursed herself for not texting Terri about it and informing her beforehand. She had been too angry with Orli for thinking about such little details.

Terri followed their looks and rolled her eyes. "Well, I'm not saying that the early morning visit from the pair of mystery men in suits was pleasant." She commented, recalling the feeling of shock when those two had barged into the apartment, put the luggage down and taken Ziva's car keys. "But you know me. Your past and your privacy are yours. Unless it threatens my life or the lives of people I care about, I'm not asking any questions."

Ziva sent her a grateful warm look, although she'd already decided to uncover part of her past to her roommate today. She had no doubt that introducing Tony to Terri would lead to questions about his job, his past with Ziva and so on, so it was probably time to stop hiding and show trust towards her new friends. Luckily, despite being often nosy about Ziva's life (especially when it came to men), Terri had respected her silence over her former life so far.

She then took Rex's head and rubbed his ears to which the dog responded with a blissful pant. "Will you be a good boy, Rex?" Ziva asked him and he peered his smart, chocolate brown eyes on her. "Because I want you to meet someone and I want you to be nice."

Terri smiled at Tony who tore his gaze away from the cherry wooden kitchen bar that separated the living room area from the kitchen and dining area, with three dark brown bar stools with light green padding. "He's a real sweetie, but you have to gain his trust first. So don't fear him or he will sense it." She advised to him as Ziva stood up, taking Rex by his collar to stop him from dashing off, and beckoning Tony to come closer to the dog.

Tony nodded and made a decisive step forward, putting on his brave face. Rex's body stiffened, his tail stopped moving and it was obvious that he was closely observing the stranger in front of him, trying to read him while pondering his next move. He felt the collar being held by one of his pack members and that calmed him down a little. It didn't seem that his pack was hostile to the stranger, quite the contrary.

He started to growl as the stranger neared him but refrained from barking. Something told him that his pack wanted him to welcome this unfamiliar person. Besides, he felt respect from the stranger and no fear. It was clear from how the person stopped in front of him in respectful distance, giving them both the chance to back off if it was needed. He stretched out his head in curiosity and waited.

Tony held out his hand towards the dog according to the advices of both women and Ziva eased up the grip she held on the collar. Rex made a step forward and started to sniff Tony's hand, his whole body still on the alert. Tony smiled at the touch of his wet nose as the dog's muzzle kept hitting against his hand as Rex tried to digest all the smells he could sense, making another step towards the stranger.

He then licked Tony's hand and took a step back with his right paw in the air. He looked up at the stranger as if he judged him whether he was worthy or not of his trust. None of the present ones in the room dared to breathe as they waited for Rex's verdict. It was just a fleeting moment, just a couple of seconds, yet the situation was that suspenseful. To their relief, Rex suddenly barked happily and wagged his tail friendly like a madman.

Tony kneeled down and started to rub Rex's fur which the dog excitedly welcomed it, happy that he had a new human to play with. "Wow... This is for the first time I've seen him to accept someone so quickly." Terri commented in awe as Ziva stretched her body, yawned and sat herself on the bar stool, glad that she was finally home.

"I bet he smells Ziva on you." Terri expanded her musings and looked directly at Tony. "Did you take a shower after having sex with Ziva on that yacht, Tony?"

"Terri!" Ziva snapped at her roommate but she didn't miss Tony's amused smirk as he played with the dog.

"What?" Her roommate protested in feigned shock. "Jeez! Such a brazen woman, yet so puritan about her own personal life."

She muttered something about going to make a coffee into the kitchen as Ziva sent Tony an apologetic smile but he waved all of it with his hand, not minding the question at all. He was just glad that the dog had accepted him, although he could see that Rex was still watchful just in case he had misinterpreted his owner's wish to be amicable to this man. Either way, both were glad that they had found a new friend.

"Oh, Tony! I have to introduce to another member of this household." Terri suddenly exclaimed, making Ziva stiffen as she'd totally forgotten about it.

"Really? Which one?" Tony stood up and patted Rex for one last time and Rex then shifted his attention back to Ziva.

However, Ziva turned away from him too, ignoring his attempts to get her attention as she tried to sign Terri not to give away her secret. Meanwhile, Tony crossed the rest of the space into the kitchen and dining area, inspecting the cherry wooden kitchen units matching the bar with all of their necessary equipments from white fridge to sink, from white dishwasher to white stove, dark brown countertop and white microwave.

He remained standing on another stylish rug in green, red and light brown colours with decorative leaves on it and saw that in the area between the bar and the kitchen units, there was a dark brown wooden kitchen table covered with white tablecloth and with six comfortable chairs with white padding to sit on. In front of him, there was wooden cherry door with a vertical glass panel on its left half that lead to the pantry. On his right side, there was the same door that lead on to the corridor.

Terri didn't register Ziva's attempts to pay attention to her and went over to Tony. Ziva stood up and went to stand behind Tony's back, knowing that she couldn't clearly hint anything if she was in his line of sight. "Say hello to our little friend." Terri said with a wink and pointed her finger at the fishbowl standing on a little dark brown cabinet with little white stones on the bottom and a single, yet spreading plant.

Tony's eyes popped out when he saw the cute goldfish swimming around the fishbowl, smiling at the sight. "Ah, a goldfish! That's awesome, I have two on my own." He commented and Ziva frowned as she knew only about one fish. _Has Tony gotten another one?_ She didn't relent in her attempts to sign Terri to pass the fish's name over in silence, though, or come up with some fake name.

"What's its name?" Tony asked, crouching down in front of the bowl to pull faces on the goldfish, scratching Rex's head that came to him in curiosity so he could watch the fish with his new friend, too.

Terri pursed her lips in an amused smirk and looked at Ziva who was begging her to make up some different name. "Tony." She answered proudly, watching as Ziva stooped her shoulders in resignation and sent a hateful look in Terri's direction. There couldn't be any doubt about who had been the inspiration for the fish's name.

"Oh." Tony commented it, not quite knowing what to say.

"You see, I love Al Pacino." Terri winked at Ziva to show her that she had a backup plan. She might have often been too reckless but she wasn't a bad person and insensitive to overlook her friend's pleas. "And when we got this fish together with Ziva, I just thought..."

"Tony Montana. Scarface. 1983, directed by Brian De Palma." Tony immediately answered and rose back on his legs which gave Ziva enough space to sigh in relief without being noticed.

"You really know your way around movies as Ziva said." Terri playfully smacked his arms and went to finish their coffees.

They all sat down on the couch to drink the caffeine beverages in peace with Rex sprawled in front of the TV to guard his pack. They lightly chatted about the events of today's morning, Tony and Ziva's trip to Haifa and the university, and also about what they had been doing in Prague. Terri shared some details about the engagement as she was excited to talk about it, happy that her dreams finally might come true.

She told them how David had come to her, completely distraught because he had had the greatest argument with his parents behind him who had come to visit him on Christmas season. When she'd asked him about the argument while consoling him, he had confessed that he had told his parents what he was going to do, whether they approved it or not. Then, he had pulled out the ring and said that it had been damn worth it if she had agreed to be his wife. That he had been tired of living up to their expectations and that he had finally wanted to do things his way.

Terri knew that the proposal hadn't been one of those dreamlike ones, but she couldn't care less. For her, it was important that her boyfriend had finally opposed to his parents and realized that his life choices were rightfully only his. Now, he wanted to share them with her. So, when he had asked her if she would have married him even though he was about to become a disinherited outcast as he was sure that his parents wouldn't forgive him all the things he had regale them with, she had said 'yes' without any hesitation.

After this little chat, Terri left for the kitchen to start preparing the dinner, texting David to buy some wine on his way here after he was finished at work. She had a surprise to make for the fellow couple so she forbid to Ziva to come to the kitchen who just shook her head but agreed. She had a lot of work in her room anyway, although she had a pair of helping hands in the form of her boyfriend.

She took Tony's hand and opened the door on the corridor and Tony felt like stepping inside a shrine of the State of Israel. The carpet on the floor was white with blue, flower-like decorations. The walls were white with two thick blue stripes on each wall. Only the Star of David was missing, really. On the left, there was a door to the common toilet, while on the right, there was a door to the utility room. In front of them, there were two simple dark brown wooden doors leading into two bedrooms.

Ziva lead him to the doors on the right near the utility room, hesitating all of a sudden as her hand landed on the silver doorknob. She turned around and leaned against the door, looking up at him unsurely. "Uhm... This is my bedroom." She announced awkwardly, clasping her hands behind her back.

"And?" Tony prompted, not sure why she was making such a fuss over it. It wasn't like he'd never been in her bedroom before.

"Well, just as your apartment is your sanctuary," she started to explain, "my bedroom is my sanctuary."

"Ah, I see." Tony commented, crossing the arms over his chest, enjoying this too much than he should. "So, do I need to obtain some sort of special permit to enter? Shall I submit my security clearance? Be subjected to security check? Provide my statutory declaration about my clean record?"

She burst out laughing because he'd said all those words with such a straight face that she couldn't but find it funny. "I swear on my movie collection that I have never stolen anything from anyone's room." He raised his right hand as if he was taking an oath.

"Okay, I'm lying." He confessed with feigned penitence. "I once stole a car toy from my friend's room when I was six. He constantly bragged about having it that I just wanted to give him a lesson. I returned it after a week, so it wasn't actually a theft."

Still giggling, she smacked him across his chest playfully to punish him for teasing her. "I didn't mean that way!" She protested with a smile but then she put on her serious face. "I just wanted to say that you shouldn't read much into certain things you'll see."

He narrowed his eyes at her, her statement instantly increasing his curiosity. "Okay." He simply answered and pulled out his angel face.

She stood up on her tiptoes and gave him a peck on his cheek in gratefulness and turned back around to open the door to her bedroom. Tony fell in love with it immediately. It was in an L-shape, with an en suite that completed the L into a cube. The cherry wooden flooring from the loft area continued up to here and the whole bedroom was decorated in cherry wood with combination of yellow colour that covered the walls.

Right in front of him, there was a door to the bathroom and what bathroom it was. Tiles in an ochre colour covered the walls in rows and lines, while the floor was made in diamond shapes. At the end of the bathroom, just below a window, there was a large bathtub, perfect for soaking up after a long and exhausting day. Next to it, there was a shower enclosure for quick washing.

The left side was occupied by cherry wooden cabinets full of hygienic supplies, sink and giant mirror on the wall. The wooden towel holder full of small and large towels was on the opposite side with a wooden basket next to it. The toilet with cherry wooden toilet seat had a place right next to the door, separated by a diving wall to give a person more privacy, although the only one who used it was Ziva.

The wall on the left between the entrance door and bathroom was occupied by a large closet in a special alcove, providing enough space for all the clothes Ziva owned. There were two racks for coat hangers on the left and one rack on the right. The middle was filled with shelves for jumpers, sweaters, sweatshirts and small wardrobe with four drawers for other garments.

In the corner opposite the entrance door, there was a simple, comfortable yellow armchair that Ziva mostly used for placing the clothes she wanted to either use or put away. Further in the room, the whole right side was covered with a bookcase, one of those ancient rosewoods ones so one almost felt like being in an ancient library. He wasn't surprised to see tens of books there, ordered according to their subject matter or author.

The space between the bookcase and the rest of the L shape was filled with a yellow rug with simple, flower-like brown decorations. The solid, cherry wooden bed with yellow linen and two matching nightstands on each side, was placed between two windows. Opposite the bed, there were low-level cupboards with TV on it and many souvenirs she had brought from her travels, just as photos she had taken.

In the corner, there was a cherry wooden desk with drawers where Ziva usually kept her laptop and a comfy office chair. He could see study materials neatly ordered on the desk, so he figured that it was her study corner. It stood by a window on the neighbouring wall with a large balcony door leading to an average balcony with a simple deckchair and a table and a folded up clothes horse.

What immediately caught his attention was the large framed photo above her bed. It captured Abby hugging Ziva tightly around her neck with McGee standing behind her with his arm on her shoulder and the other one on Ziva's shoulder, while Tony stood behind Ziva, his spread arms around McGee's and Ziva's shoulders. They created a little friendly pack like that.

He remembered clearly the moment this photo had been taken. Christmas three years ago when his father had come to town to spend the holidays with him. Senior took the photo but Tony had never gotten it. Now, he finally knew who had the possession of it. Even though the photo on the wall was enlarged, Ziva had to have the original smaller one to get this larger one done.

He stared at it, studying the natural smiles they all had and mused over how happy he had felt at that moment. Ziva left him to his daydreaming, unpacking her baggage so she could sort out the clothes she wanted to wash before leaving to D.C. The rest went on pile of clothes that would come inside the baggage again during the packing. She had no time to spare, she felt as if she needed to pack so many things that she had no idea where to put them.

Tony flopped down on her bed, his gaze falling on a smaller photo in a frame placed on the nightstand. He smiled widely and took the photo in his hands, running his fingers over it. He remembered this photo very well, too, especially because he had the exact same photo in his apartment. His heart was suddenly filled with familiar warmth as the placement of the photo and the simple fact of its existence proved that she really had missed him.

He loved everything about the photo that was taken such a long time ago in Paris. The grey filter so the photo was only black, grey and white of the two of them, sitting uprightly on a motor scooter. His hands on the handlebars while Ziva sat behind him, her right hand around his waist to keep her balance. His cocky smile with his shades on, while she conjured up a lovely, true Mona Lisa smile. Her hair wasn't curled the way he loved it, it was straighten but he couldn't care less, honestly. She looked stunning anyway.

He remembered on which occasion the photo had been taken, as well. Ziva had accused him, just like Nora later, that his photos had been soulless, without any sign of anything living. He had argued with her that he was able to take a lively photo but he had never had the chance, considering that she had threatened him that if he had taken any photo of her without her permission, she would have made him to pay for it until the end of his life. She'd had enough trouble with the bikini photos he had once taken to let him photograph her as he pleased.

Eventually, he had convinced her to take a photo together and because he'd fallen in love with the scooter, he had thought that it was the best place to do so. Not only he'd had her close to him, but it had been a great snapshot of their activities in Paris. A very lovely old man had agreed to take the photo for them, so they had just arranged themselves on the scooter and posed for a couple of seconds.

He put the photo back on the nightstand and noticed the book that was there, too. He saw the name of the author _Franz Kafka_ on the spine of the book and took the book into his hands with interest. It was _The Castle_ novel and he smiled at the vision of Ziva lying on this very bed and reading this very book in preparation to leave for the Czech Republic and spend some time in Prague.

" _The best way to know the soul of another country is to read its literature."_

He saw that she was about half way through the book as the edge of the bookmark was sticking out. In general curiosity, he opened the book on the page where the bookmark was and froze. The bookmark wasn't something he would expect at all. It was a photo and not just some ordinary photo. It was photo of his younger version in his first year in NCIS. If he recalled correctly, it was one of the photos that was taken on the day when he had joined his current job.

 _Why would she use this particular photo as a bookmark?_ Sure, he looked good on that photo, he knew it. It had that 'James Bond' feeling to it as he had felt almost like Agent 007 when he had traded his old cop days for fresh federal agent ones. _But how could she obtain it?_ The photo was part of his personal file in NCIS, so unless she had stolen it years ago when she had been still in the U.S., there was no way for her to acquire it since she hadn't been in contact with anyone.

"Where did you get this?" He asked her, holding the photo out for her to see it, when she appeared back in the bedroom after stuffing the first load of dirty clothes into the washing machine.

She gulped visibly but then decided not to make a big thing about it. "Orli gave it to me with pleasure from the dossier Mossad keeps on you."

"You took a photo of me from a dossier I have in Mossad?" He repeated after her, stressing every word for himself to ascertain that it was real.

She shrugged and leaned against her desk to face him properly. "I told you I missed you." She replied in coolly calm tone. "I meant it."

He stared at her for a couple of seconds motionlessly. Her unforced calmness unsettled him as if she wasn't talking about herself. He looked down on the photo and slowly closed the book, rubbing its binding. Then he put it back on the nightstand, his gaze falling again on the framed photo in Paris. He honestly didn't know what he had expected. But to see how much she had actually missed him made a hole into his heart.

He completely ignored her advice not to read much into certain things he would see. Because all of this signed how much she had suffered from her departure and he couldn't stand her hurting. Not because of him. He sighed and rubbed his forehead, trying to sort out his thoughts while she patiently observed him. She gave up on covering her grief because it simply wasn't needed anymore. She wanted to live the present, not the past.

He stood up eventually and went over to her, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Why didn't you call then?" He asked the natural question that was running through his mind for the whole time since he had met her but had not asked yet. "Wrote an email? Ask for the photo?"

For a second, she felt intimated by his interrogation, having the urge to snap at him and walk away. But then she admitted that he had a right to ask these questions. Their relationship was of a different nature now. And it actually surprised her that he hadn't asked them yet. "You think I never tried?" She replied with another question. "Because I did."

She walked past him and seated herself on the bed, tucking her legs under her while he only turned around and remained standing. "I can't even count how many times I dialled your numbers but hung up before the call could be connected." She confessed, her voice suddenly sounding very distant. "How many emails I wrote but never send them. Just as letters and postcards."

He went over to the bed and kneeled in front of it, so he could take her hands and console her in some way. Sooner or later, she had to reveal what she'd gone through while dealing with her departure. After all, it was hard not to stumble over the evidence while being in this very room. He had confessed to almost everything he'd done, including having a girlfriend he didn't love. Now it was her turn.

"Countless times I booked the flight ticket, but always cancelled it a few hours before the takeoff." She added further and her eyes glistened with a teary wetness she refused to let through. "The feeling of guilt was just too overwhelming."

She looked down at him, melting in his warm, loving gaze. It made her happy that he wasn't angry with her, but just patiently waited for an explanation he deserved. His understanding nod gave her even more confidence and she smiled, leaning into the hand he placed on her cheek to caress her face. That was exactly what she needed and what she'd been afraid of she would never get if she just showed up in D.C. one day.

"And it's not that overwhelming now?" He asked naturally. He couldn't help but wonder what had changed her mind and if she really was ready to return to the United States and face all the problems she had left behind. He wanted her to go back with him, of course, but he also didn't want to force her to do something she wasn't ready for. Although he was dreading the case she would stay here and he would depart to D.C.

She shrugged her shoulders and took his hand on her cheek so she could kiss his palm gently. "I have you with me." She answered and he smiled, gently squeezing the wrist of her other hand. "I redeemed in the eyes of the person I hurt the most. And that is actually the only thing I care about."

He stared at her for a while, realizing what her confidence and belief in him meant for her. If it hadn't been for his undying love for her, she would have never even considered returning back. He leaned in and softly captured her lips in a slow, loving kiss. She sighed into it in pleasure, wrapping her arms around his neck to bring his head closer so she could inspect the delicious corners of his mouth.

If she didn't know how many things she needed to pack and if she decided to ignore Terri's presence in the other room, she would take him up on his offer as he tried to lay her down on the bed. It was so tempting to give in and she had dreamt about making love to Tony in this very bed for countless occasions. However, she had to give this fantasy up if she was supposed to be ready to move to D.C. with him.

He understood immediately and didn't push her further down, releasing her lips and pulling her back on her legs instead. His desire, now more than ever, was to bring her back to his home so they could be finally together as they deserved. And for that, he had to suppress his current needs because it would lead to fulfilment of his long-term needs. And he definitely preferred the latter to happen as soon as possible.

* * *

Once they got to work on packing the things, the time passed rather quickly. Tony brought empty box after a box from the pantry and utility room where they were stored and they started to fill it in with books and other lighter stuff so the boxes weren't too heavy. Terri supplied them with necessary beverages and informed them about time, while Rex sneaked up a couple of times to check on them, sniff at the boxes if they didn't hold anything good for him and receive a satisfying petting.

Ziva went to take quick shower and changed her clothes before the rendezvous in four as Tony flopped down on the bed and took a little nap. He was woken up by her hands softly running through his hair in attempt to neaten it. Smiling at her, he sat up and let her to comb his hair into a hairstyle she liked. She already had the one he loved – her hair down, wild and curly as the dampness in the bathroom did its work.

Both appropriately dressed walked out of Ziva's room and entered the loft area, gasping in surprise. The lights were dim with tens of lit candles all around the apartment. The Christmas tree was lit up in the corner, the smell of tasty food completed the evening dinner atmosphere as the soft sound of Israeli music filled the space with flawless tones. The food was already prepared in the kitchen, just waiting for being brought on the table.

David was already there, playing with Rex but when those two emerged, he went to greet Ziva and introduced himself to Tony, shaking his hand. They chatted about general things a couple of minutes until Terri called them to the table. David opened the bottle of Israeli Merlot wine and poured everyone a glass as they all assumed their positions on their chairs.

Terri had decided to go with Israeli cuisine so she started to explain to both Tony and David what the meals were, as her soon-to-be-husband wasn't too experienced with the local eating culture, usually preferring the cuisine he was familiar with. Terri herself had begun cooking Israeli meals not so long ago when she'd moved here and her mother had become her dutiful teacher.

For an appetizer, they had the surprise because of which she had forbidden to her roommate to appear in the kitchen. It was a dish named Ziva*1 – a puff pastry in a horseshoe shape topped with sesame field and stuffed with cheese and olives with a shkug sauce, a hot sauce made out of hot peppers and tomatoes, seasoned with coriander, garlic and salt, on the side.

Since the appetizer itself was quite filling due to the amount of cheese, the main course was a lighter meal named shakshouka. It was a dish made out of eggs poached in tomato sauce with chilli peppers, bell peppers, onions and spiced with cumin. Luckily Tony didn't have problem with spicy meals, otherwise he would be already dead as Terri lavished the food with the spices.

The conversation over appetizer was mainly focused on Ziva as no one at the table could refrain from some punny comment. When the main course was served, though, Terri couldn't hold back her curiosity anymore. "So, who are you, Anthony DiNozzo?" She asked Tony as he was scooping up his portion from the casserole.

David lifted his head up and paid attention, too. Both were curious about this mysterious man as the name wasn't unfamiliar to them at all, but the man himself was. It was so completely obvious how much Tony and Ziva knew each other and were in love. They must had a pretty long history behind them. And since Ziva was a very secretive and cryptic person when it came to her past, they didn't mind to get to know more.

Tony passed the casserole to David and scratched his head, wondering how he should begin. "Well, I'm a normal guy..."

A snicker from the woman next to him interrupted him suddenly. "What?" Tony asked Ziva who put a hand over her mouth to stop herself from further laughing.

"Nothing..." She replied innocently, trying to keep her face straight but as the eyes of all people at the table focused on her, including Rex's eyes that obediently rest in his bed by the door, she couldn't but snicker once again. "Just after all the years I know you Tony, you are everything BUT normal."

"Well, you hear it." Tony commented it with a smile and all four laughed at it as Rex barked as if he wanted to agree with the statement, too. "I'm apparently everything-but-normal guy."

He then scooped a portion of his meal and stuffed it into his mouth to buy some time. He wasn't quite used to tell things about himself when he didn't know what he could reveal or not. Ziva didn't seem to be in the need to tell him to hide something, though. "But jokes aside," he continued and took a sip from his wine, "I'm an only child, grew up on Long Island. My mother died when I was eight which caused a rift between me and my father. But we're working on improvement in recent years."

In short, he had explained why they shouldn't ask him about his childhood as it wasn't that part of his life he would cherish fondly. He had a couple of nice memories, of course, but that was exactly the reason why he didn't talk about his mother too much as most of them were connected to her. Ziva nodded to confirm his claims and reached for his hand to squeeze it gently.

"And what do you do for living?" David asked, chewing on own portion of the delicious food his fiancée had cooked.

Tony remained silent for a couple of seconds to be sure that Ziva had nothing against revealing his current occupation. "I used to be a cop." He then began hesitantly, playing with his glass of wine. "And after a stint with Baltimore's homicide, I joined NCIS. So, I'm a federal agent for over a decade now."

"Wow, that's cool." Terri commented, both she and David having a notion of NCIS's field of work, and winked at Ziva to sign her that she could really find a good man. A man of justice. "But now the most important question... How did you two meet?"

Tony was completely unsure what to answer as he had figured that neither Terri, nor David had any idea about Ziva's former job. He stared into his plate confusedly for a couple of seconds and then lifted his gaze to Ziva with a silent question to ask for help in his eyes. She had to give him her permission to speak freely about her own past that was connected to his.

"Tell them." Ziva encouraged him with a nod, her posture tensed but there was a shadow of relief on her face. "They deserve to know at least part of the truth."

He turned his attention to the puzzled couple in front of him and took a deep breath. "We worked together." He said and took Ziva's hand in hers to provide her the needed support.

The atmosphere of stunned silence that settled after the revelation unnerved Rex who lifted his head to check on his pack to be sure that they were alright. The statement had shocked the other couple greatly, but it hadn't taken them by surprise. Ziva could have been secretive about her past, but certain behaviour she had gained from her training showed from time to time.

"Yo-you were NCIS, too?" Terri asked Ziva directly, her eyebrows furrowed together. She wondered now what was real from what Ziva had shared her about her life. Because if she used to be NCIS agent, she must have lived in the United States for way longer time than she had claimed.

"Not always." Ziva admitted after she drank a large amount of her wine. "I was a liaison officer at first and after gaining my US citizenship, I became full-fledged NCIS agent."

Terri's eyebrows returned to their normal shape, finally understanding that Ziva had been telling the truth before. Not that she would be angry for her lying, but it would hurt, definitely. Despite being literally enigmatic, she had come to love Ziva as her own sister. A sister that would have to leave way too soon, but when she saw the radiant happiness on her face as she was sitting next to her boyfriend, she knew she deserved this more than anyone she knew.

"So you left your mother agency, then?" David tried to inconspicuously coax from Ziva the information about her previous occupation.

Ziva confirmed it with a nod as she gulped down the food in her mouth. Putting her fork down, leaning it against the plate, she gratefully accepted the squeeze of her shoulder coming from Tony to give her the courage. "I was Mossad." She said and waited for the judgement.

It didn't come, though. Rex yawned, sighed and closed his eyes to relax until the dinner was over and he was again allowed to leave his bed and play with his humans. Terri and David exchanged and meaningful look but neither of them seemed to denounce Ziva for her past. If their expressions were telling anything, then only esteem and well-deserved respect.

"Well... That explains a lot." Terri commented with a smile. She had in a vivid memory this morning when she'd encountered the pair of the men in black suits, undoubtedly Mossad agents, and had had to fight with Rex so he wouldn't tear them apart. And that was only one piece of the whole puzzle as she had experienced many similar situations in the past two years, not to mention that Ziva was able to register a whole range of things unlike the others due to her training and experience.

David closed his eyes for a moment as he fished for something in his memory. "Wait a second...," he then held out his finger, snapping his eyes open and looked straight at Ziva, ignoring the curious looks of Terri and Tony, "The former Director of Mossad, Eli David..."

"My father." Ziva finished for him in a bittersweet tone. It was clear to her that with this revelation, most people would put two and two together about the sameness of surnames of former Mossad director and former Mossad operative.

Tony rubbed her back to soothe her nerves as David gave a whistle in amazement. Terri stared at Ziva for a while motionlessly and then reached across the table to squeeze her hand. She remembered the death of Eli David as it had been all over the news, not having any idea that she would have soon become a friend of his last surviving child. She couldn't now recall if the killer had ever been caught.

Whether the killer had been brought to justice or not, it'd had to shake with Ziva's world significantly, that was for sure. If Terri recalled correctly, Eli David had died on the beginning of the year 2013, and she had met Ziva in autumn 2013. His death must have been connected to leaving her life behind and searching for something new. She didn't know many details about the past life of her roommate, but generally, she knew that Ziva had left the world she had known to change and find herself.

"So, that was the reason why you abandoned everything?" Terri asked Ziva, pushing her plate aside as she wasn't interested in the food anymore. "Because if my math is correct, you had to quit your job and leave for Israel shortly after his death."

Ziva shifted in her chair uncomfortably as this question was taking her back to the moment when she and Tony had parted their ways more than two years ago. Her unease was lessened, though, when Rex stuck his head on her lap, demanded to be petted for bringing the joy to his pack. She smiled into the chocolate brown eyes and rubbed him behind his ears which was rewarded with delightful whimper.

"I didn't leave as a result of his death. But it made me seriously evaluate how I lived my life." She answered after a moment of silence as both men were cleaning up their plates, while Terri was solely focused on Ziva and listened to her. "I reflected on what I've always wanted from life and compared it to what I've actually achieved. And I realized that I did things completely wrong."

Tony occupied himself with food to stop himself from interfering into Ziva's speech. He was aware that she was talking about how she had felt back then, yet it pained him to hear it and he felt the urge to assure her that things would be only better. The scenes in his head kept returning him to that fateful night on the tarmac when he had said his ultimate goodbye to her and he had to internally berate himself for it as he could finally leave it behind him.

Terri held out her empty glass in David's direction as he started to fill the glasses of everyone with wine. "The result of the evaluation must've been pretty bad if you left everything behind, including the man you love, Ziva." She stated, her eyes observing Tony because she could feel his growing restlessness. Her curiosity was stronger, though, so she didn't drop the subject. And as it seemed to her, they needed to say those things aloud anyway.

"It was, trust me. I didn't want to do it, but I had to." Ziva confirmed, raking through Rex's fur. This conversation was quite painful, yet she felt relieved to speak about it. "I wanted to become a better person, capable of having a normal life. To become someone I would personally appreciate."

David smiled to himself as he filled Ziva's glass. He felt with her on this level quite well because he knew how it was. He wanted to be someone with a normal life, too, yet his parents had always stressed from what family he was and that there were certain expectations from him. His family meant more like a prison for him, then an actual and loving family. Until he had met Terri, he hadn't even known what it meant to love for real.

Terri nodded her thanks to Ziva with a smile to sign her that if she had wanted to achieve that, she had definitely done so. Her interest now shifted to Tony as she could tell that he definitely wanted to speak about his point of view. "And you were okay with it?" She asked him, accepting a loving kiss on the top of her head from her fiancé. "You let her go just like that?"

Tony chuckled bitterly in response, cleaning his mouth with a napkin as he pushed away his empty plate. "One thing you have to learn about Ziva – she doesn't ask whether you agree or not once she makes a decision like that." He said and Ziva hung her head down, searching her conscience because what he had said was truth. "One day, she just vanished."

Terri opened her mouth wide unbelievingly with millions questions on her tongue, but Tony was faster than her. "It took me a lot to find her but when I did, I lent my ear to her. And I eventually understood her motives." He continued and reached out his hand to Ziva's hair to caress her to which she responded with a dreamy smile. "Was I okay with it? No. But I respected her decision if she firmly believed that it was what she needed."

Ziva leaned against his shoulder gratefully and he planted a kiss on her cheek as Terri took a huge gulp out of her glass of wine to absorb all the information. She had never seen such a great sacrifice from anyone. She couldn't even imagine what Tony must have been through with letting go the woman he loved, so she could rebuilt her life that wouldn't include him at all. Same went for Ziva, she must have dealt with so many emotions and feelings that it seemed to be too much for just one person.

" _Feelings are just a fire in a field of stubble: it burns for a moment, and then all that's left is soot and ashes. Do you know what the main thing is – the thing a woman should look for in her man? She should look for a quality that's not at all exciting but that's rare than gold: decency."_

"Wow... Uhm, don't take it personally now, honey," she said and looked at David to apologize to him beforehand for what she was about to say and then turned back her attention to Tony, "but where in the hell men like you are being sold? Because I want to purchase one."

All four laughed heartily while Rex lifted his head in confusion, wondering what his pack found so funny. "I have to warn you, they are very hard to find." Ziva replied to Terri as she lifted her head from Tony's shoulder, feeling relieved that the hardest part was behind them. "They're rare species, only a few of them are in the world."

She looked up at Tony and he flashed her one of his best, enamoured smiles that sent butterflies in her stomach fly. He leaned in, catching her chin into his palm and kissed her with such an amount of love that she wished it to be a substitute for oxygen. Like that, whenever she needed to take a breath, she would get such a kiss from him. Oh what joy would breathing bring her then...

She whimpered in protest when he released her lips and straightened, but a jealous bark from Rex took her back to reality. She giggled at him and rubbed his head to make him feel that he wasn't omitted. Terri then stood up to collect the empty plates so she could serve the dessert, grinning all the way when she'd seen how much her friend was in love. Finally, she might add. She'd never understood what Ziva had seen in Ben.

She pulled out a serving plate full of rugelach, a crescent-like pastry. The dough was made out of cream cheese and she had baked a couple of different fillings so there were variations made out of raisins and walnuts, cinnamon and raisins, chocolate, poppy seeds and a nut mixture. She also pulled out four small plates so everyone could take from the plate whatever they desired.

"Okay, from what I've gathered you two getting together was quite a journey." She commented as she was bringing everything on table. "So for how long this is going on? How long do you know each other?"

Tony drew in a large portion of fresh air and then blew it all out as the gears in his brain started to work painfully. "Wow, uhm... Uh, ten years?" He guessed and looked at Ziva expectantly to confirm it.

"Yes, ten years." Ziva nodded in affirmation, smiling behind her glass.

Both David and Terri stopped chewing and stared at them for a while in complete silence. "Ten years?!" They both wondered simultaneously and David couldn't help but add, "Bloody hell, what did take you so long?"

Ziva chuckled but it was true that if she changed the perspective, many people would question what had been wrong with them. "Well, there were certain... obstacles." She stated as she took one of the pastries on her plate and hummed in appreciation after she took a bite. "Also, if we acted on our instincts from the first moment, I don't think that there would be any chance for serious relationship in the future."

The sexual tension between them, the attraction that drew them together, had been sometimes unbearable. Somehow, they had managed to suppress it on many occasions. However, no matter how much she regretted for not giving into it as she had denied herself the pleasure he could provide, she was glad that they had. For many reasons, if their relationship was of sexual nature from the very start, it would never turn into serious relationship. Falling in love with him had been a long process that had been worth to endure. She knew it inside her heart.

"True, we had to become friends first and then lovers." Tony agreed with her immediately and she looked at him with surprised smile, glad that they had the same point of view. "Not the other way around."

" _And remember that friendship between a woman and a man is something much more precious and rare than love: love is actually something quite gross and even clumsy compared to friendship. Friendship includes a measure of sensitivity, attentiveness, generosity, and a finely tuned sense of moderation."_

Neither Terri, nor David could understand how they could wait for such a long time because they had been the exact opposite. They had liked each other instantly and hadn't hesitated acting on it. But both also admitted that obstacles in a relationship were normal occurrence, although they had completely different ones. What mattered was that all the troubles lead to eventual happiness.

"Plus there were other women." Ziva didn't refrain from commenting on Tony's infatuation with the gentle sex.

"And other men." Tony retorted, not missing a beat during the conversation.

They both looked at each other accusingly but with teasing gleams in their eyes. "Rule twelve." They suddenly uttered in unison, their minds thinking exactly the same.

"What is rule twelve?" Terri inquired, having fun with their banter while David went to fill a bowl of food for Rex, so he could eat as well.

Ziva waved at Tony, giving him the space to explain it. "Well, our boss has this set of rules he lives by and we, as members of his team, follow them, too." He explained briefly, scratching his head pensively. "Rule twelve states: 'Never date a co-worker'. And I think that pretty much sums it up."

Terri was again left speechless. She understood that they had followed a certain code. Her father, being a Marine, had always enforced a certain 'code of conduct' his family had to follow. But he had also always claimed that when it came to love, no rules, no codes or no principles could dictate anything. Love, according to him, shouldn't be bounded by rules but it should be free and independent.

"So, you didn't get together and didn't have anything with each other because of some rule?" She asked them incredulously, reading the answer from their faces. No wonder that they'd had sex on the yacht just a couple of hours after their arrival to Israel. They had ten years of attraction to make up for. "I think I'd go insane if I had to withstand this."

Tony and Ziva just shrugged their shoulders, knowing that they had given it much more importance than they probably should have. "It was always a pretty big thing for us." Tony countered, although he was aware that Terri couldn't understand the bond they had with Gibbs and how the rules were important for them. "But I also think that later on we just used it as..."

"An excuse." Ziva finished for him knowingly. In later years, rule twelve had represented to her the infinite wall between her and Tony that meant that she hadn't had to deal with her feelings for him because it'd been pointless. Those feelings had been impossible and forbidden to express.

Tony snapped his fingers and pointed his finger at Ziva. "Exactly." He confirmed, being very comfortable with how their thoughts had flew together tonight. "An excuse for not having a motive to be ready."

It hadn't been about any commitment issues but more about the fact that they hadn't reached the point of being ready to be together. It would involve a lot of hard work to fight for their right to be a couple and neither of them had had the strength to address this problem. They just had never been on the same page. Whenever one of them had been willing to start working on it, the other had dealt with something else and there'd been no space for talking about _them_.

"And as we worked our way towards being ready..." He started to explain as he didn't want to give the impression that they hadn't done anything about it. They had made a progress. A baby-step one, but they had.

"Ziva left." David guessed as he was sitting back down to his chair, while Rex affectionately played with his food. Tony confirmed his claim with a sorrowful nod.

Terri kneaded her chin in contemplation, narrowing her eyes on the couple opposite her. "So you didn't tell each other how do you feel until now?" She asked them unbelievingly. Their love story was even more painful than she had imagined.

Tony and Ziva looked at each other tentatively as if they knew that it had been one of the greatest mistakes in their relationship. "If you mean those proverbial three words, then no." Tony eventually answered. "We didn't tell each other anything until recently."

"There were many indirect signs, though." Ziva hurried to add, although she was well aware that those 'indirect signs' had been mostly Tony's doing. She'd had a very strange way how to sign him that she had fallen in love with him. "You don't always have to hear those three words to know."

Tony looked over at her and smiled warmly, reaching for her hand to squeeze it. He completely agreed with her because despite her past behaviour that usually resulted in him hurting, he had just known deep inside his heart, that she had shared his feelings. Something had been telling him that they belonged together. And it was no surprise to him that she had been aware of his feelings for quite some time. He hadn't been good in hiding them, especially at the end.

"And what happened next?" David asked them curiously, wondering what had changed between them during the last week. They had parted more than two years ago with broken hearts and suddenly, they were sitting together in front of him as a devoted couple. "After two years you just accidentally met in Prague during Christmas holidays and decided to get finally together?"

Both Tony and Ziva smiled amorously and looked at each other. It might sound surprising and odd to other people but after they had been through together, after all those mishaps, they didn't want to waste their time anymore. There was no reason to delay the inevitable anymore. They were ready to commit to each other with their souls, their hearts, their minds and their bodies.

"Yes, that's exactly what happened." Tony confirmed and leaned down to kiss Ziva lightly on her delicious and inviting lips.

"How romantic." Terri gave out a dreamy sigh, propping her head against her arm on the table. "That meeting must have been a sign."

"That's how we take it." Ziva stated and leaned her head against Tony's shoulder for once more as his closeness made her feel content and protected.

Whatever sign it had been, whichever power had brought them back together and had led them to the same city in the same time, she couldn't ever thank enough for that. Her life had turned upside down and she was grateful for it because she had long lived in need to have Tony beside her and now the wish finally came true. She'd been a fool, if she hadn't taken the chance.

When the dinner was finished, accompanied by a light talk about some of the cases that Tony and Ziva had worked on together, they cleaned up the plates and stored the remaining food into the boxes in the fridge. Tony and Ziva then said goodnight to the other couple and retired to the Ziva's bedroom as they were both tired from all activities they had experienced throughout the day.

_**The End of Chapter 21** _

* * *

*1 Ziva – invented in 1989 by Neri Avneri who named it after his wife. Part of Yemenite Jewish cuisine.


	22. Chapter 22

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 22** _

Nothing so simple but a morning sunlight invaded Ziva's sleep and discontinued her beautiful dreams. She groaned out, trying to fight against the inevitable awakening so the deep dark behind her eyes could take over once again. But it was to no avail. Even though her mind wanted to return to dreamland, her body had a different opinion and restored the usual bodily functions.

She let out another groan and opened her eyes with a distinct aversion towards the sun as opposed to the day before. When her sight fell upon the sleeping form of her boyfriend, though, she eventually decided to forgive the shining ball on the sky. For he was adorable as a puppy. A smile crept into her face as she observed his calm and peaceful sleep.

She was curled right beside him, their two joined hands between their heads and their legs intertwined. They had practically created a body heart during the night. However, her muscles started to sing the song of pain and she was forced to lie flat on her back and release his hand. She kissed his palm before she had done so, though, wanting to make it up to him.

Stretching her body, she groaned sleepily once more and remained motionlessly staring on the ceiling, contemplating the change she was currently going through. She loved this apartment more than anything. It was her sanctuary for so many months, her corner where she could be herself and didn't have to explain anything to anyone. It was her home in every sense of the word.

At first, she thought that she would be sad to leave all of this to be with a man she loved. But the more she was thinking about it, the more she didn't mind it at all. She would miss it, of course, and cherish it as those were the calmest years of her life. But she was about to gain something new, something else she had wanted for a very long time. So she would just swap one happiness for even greater happiness.

She fought with the urge to use the toilet, wanting to lie and rest for a little bit more but the nature was merciless. Throwing away the blanket, she swung her legs over the rim of the bed and put on her slippers, heading for the bathroom immediately. While she was inside, she took a quick shower and combed her hair quickly, dressing back into her pyjamas and snuggling into her yellow terry cloth bathrobe.

She checked on Tony and didn't have the heart to disturb his sleep, so she quietly slipped out of the bedroom, crossed the corridor and opened the door to the loft area. The aromatic and pleasant scent of freshly made coffee invaded her nostrils and she smiled in content. In her opinion, Terri was the best barista in the world. She always treated the preparation of coffee as a sacred ritual.

"Ah, good morning to you, Bond girl!" Terri greeted the former Mossad and NCIS agent cheerfully, setting her coffee mug down as she bit on her chocolate croissant. Much like Ziva, she was still dressed in her night clothes with a bathrobe on.

Ziva nodded her greetings in return, realizing that David took Rex for a walk as she didn't hear the scratching of the paws on the surface and thus the dog didn't come to say hello. "Please, don't call me like that in front of Tony." She begged her roommate as she sat on the barstool while Terri started to prepare coffee for her. "He loves Bond, I would never hear any other nickname."

"Promise given." Terri chuckled in response, pouring the milk into Ziva's mug. "Where he even is? Still sleeping after you exhausted him with satisfying your carnal desires?"

"We were just sleeping." Ziva dismissed her innuendos with a roll of her eyes, but not feeling annoyed. She was used to it after all those months of living together with this straightforward woman. "And yes, he's still in bed."

"Ah, of course. Ready for later use." Terri teased her with a wink and Ziva passed her remark over in silence. "Here's your coffee."

Ziva inhaled the scent of her steaming mug and purred in delight. "Hmmmmmm... I'm gonna miss this." She complained, the heavenly smell of the coffee already making her all warm inside. "Who's going to make my coffee now?"

Terri pushed the plate with croissants in front of her, leaning against the kitchen units. "You already have a special someone who will do anything he sees in your eyes." She replied, feeling flattered that Ziva had valued her barista skills so much. "You just have to train him."

Ziva had to snicker at the notion of Tony operating a coffee machine. That man was a good cook, excellent even. But in coffee, he just preferred to buy it instead. Taking a bite from the croissant, her gaze met with Terri's and she knew that she wouldn't escape a 'heart-to-heart' conversation with her friend. Many facts she had withhold from her had been revealed yesterday night and she actually didn't have any intention to avoid it.

"Okay, we both know that I gotta ask." Terri began after a moment of heavy silence. She didn't like to play with people and she didn't like to be played, either. She rather started to solve problems immediately, then let people guess what she wanted from them. "Why didn't you tell me any of that before?"

Ziva remained completely calm, setting down her mug of coffee. She knew that she had nothing to fear from Terri so she took it as a great training for standing up against her former colleagues. "It's not something you just go and tell to someone, no matter how much you trust them." She replied, looking into Terri's questioning eyes. "And especially if you're in process getting free of it."

"I get that." Terri acknowledged and leaned her forearms against the bar so she could ensure the face-to-face contact with her roommate. "But I was thinking about it all night and I recalled that you tried to tell me on many occasions in the past. You always chickened out, though."

"That's true." Ziva confirmed with a nod, taking a sip from her coffee. During all their talks and chats about their lives, their experiences, their pasts and all that, Ziva had tried to explain herself many times. The fact it had never happened wasn't important at the moment.

"So, what were you afraid of? That I would judge you?" Terri naturally inquired, warming her hands up against the coffee mug.

"Yes, condemnation, I guess." Ziva shrugged her shoulders, playing with the croissant in her hands as she was tearing away the layers of the pastry before putting it into her mouth. "I was afraid that you would want to know more details. And I did many hideous things, you know."

Terri regarded her for a long minute while finishing off her coffee. She analyzed all the terrible things Ziva could have done as an agent of both agencies and had come up with many ideas. She was no idealist, considering the job of her own father. "Have you killed someone?" She then asked her after a while of contemplation about what could have been the worst thing. Dealing with taking life of another person wasn't that easy as many people thought.

Ziva focused her fearful eyes on her, pondering what exactly to answer. Her main issue had been that she had killed a loved one, someone who had betrayed her trust and her pure love she had felt for him. He had been on her mind when she had decided to stay in Israel indefinitely two and half years ago. Yet, she knew that he had deserved his death for all the pain he'd caused.

"Yes, but it's not just about that." She eventually chose to generalize than to concretize her answer.

Terri nodded and bit her bottom lip, having the feeling that Ziva was hiding something but decided not to push her about it. Her confession was enough for now. "Okay, and all those hideous things you did that even included killing people..." she started carefully, knowing that the subject was really sensitive, "were they done within the orders of Mossad and NCIS or within the requirements demanded by both agencies?"

She had no doubt that Ziva had crossed the line of a given order on many occasions, she had known her long enough to be completely sure about that. But in the same time she was certain that it had led to required results, no matter the means used. It didn't have to mean that something bad had happened or that the law had been broken, though. Her father had taught her that.

Ziva furrowed her eyebrows in deep contemplation, trying to read between the lines of Terri's question. "In other words you're asking me whether my actions were justified because I fought against the bad guys by any means possible?" She asked her roommate in return and after her nod of confirmation, she had no doubts about her answer. "Yes, they were done within the determined limits."

"Then there's nothing to condemn you for." Terri declared, straightening up and symbolically tapped her fist against the surface of the bar to imitate the tap of the gavel by judge in the court.

Ziva sighed in relief but raised an eyebrow on her sceptically as she still believed that some of the things she had done deserved serious condemnation. "Look, it's all about perspective." Terri patiently explained to her that the point of view was variable since it depended on who the judge was.

"Everything you did, and I strongly believe that you had compelling reasons, was beneficial in the perspective of both Mossad and NCIS." Terri reached for her hands to show her roommate that she had nothing but admiration and faith in her. "Naturally, whatever adversary you faced could have seen it differently, but that's the point. We all sometimes do morally questionable things because our job requires to do so and to fight for our beliefs."

She knew what she was talking about as she was proud of her father's deeds that he had done in the name of the United States Marine Corps, and that sometimes could be considered as controversial. Yet, she knew that her father had done everything to the best of his knowledge and belief. That was why she believed that whatever hideous things Ziva had committed were substantiated

"No one is untainted. In my eyes, it doesn't make you any less wonderful person than you already are, Ziva." Terri continued and Ziva couldn't help but wonder how come that she had such a nose for such fantastic friends who were incredibly sweet, understanding and supportive. "I became fond of you for who you are, not for who you were."

Ziva smiled at her and squeezed her hand in return, trying to find some words but it was extremely difficult. For words she could say to express the sincere gratefulness she felt hadn't been invented yet. She had hoped for Terri to accept her the way she was but this thoughtfulness and support were a whole more than she'd ever anticipated. Her next words practically finished her off.

"But from now on, just like Tony, I will love you for who you are, who you were and who you will be." Terri said, keeping holding Ziva's hands. "Because I know that you're a good person with a heart in the right place."

Ziva released the breath she was holding and slid off the barstool to go over to Terri and hug her to thank her for her incredible and heart-warming words. The girls embraced each other and just stood there for a while in silence, letting their friendship strengthen and the bond between them grow. Although they were supposed to find themselves thousands of miles away from each other in the near future, this was a friendship that would last a lifetime.

The rattle of keys opening the door and scratching of dog's paws made them to let go of each other and both welcomed David and Rex returning to the apartment. David greeted his future wife with a kiss and her roommate with a friendly nod and went to clean Rex's paws as they had gotten dirty while walking outside. Ziva poured herself a glass of orange juice and sat back on the barstool while Terri prepared breakfast for her fiancé.

"So, do you want to help with packing?" David asked Ziva when he seated himself down next to her while Rex purred in delight over the scratches he was getting from Ziva.

Ziva looked at him in surprise as she didn't expect such a generous offer. When she noticed the look that Terri and David exchanged, it was clear to her that those two had been already talking about it. "You're both very kind but I can't keep you in here on such a beautiful day packing my stuff." She answered politely. Those two had already done so much for her, she couldn't let them to do completely everything.

"Well the thing is," Terri stepped in and pushed the plate with her fiancé's breakfast towards him who immediately started to pay attention to the food, "that we have to go to my mum's now. My father's coming next week to help with my moving and to personally celebrate our engagement with us. So I have to prepare her for his arrival."

David rather busied himself with the delicious breakfast before saying anything vicious, considering that his own family was a chapter for itself. Ziva nodded in acknowledgement, understanding the duty to inform Terri's mother about the arrival of her ex-husband. Not that they were at loggerheads with each other, but their meetings had always been accompanied by a thick tension. Some wounds apparently never heal.

"My dear brother is going to be thrilled, of course, but you know her... She'll want some guarantees or whatever." Terri continued, rolling her eyes in annoyance but she was already in peace with her fate of being a kid of divorced parents. "Either way, the plan is that we'll go there and on our way back here, we'll pick up some take-away, have lunch with you two and help you with the rest of the packing."

"That would be really so kind and helpful. Thank you." Ziva accepted their offer eventually, partially because she knew that they wouldn't take 'no' for an answer, and partially because she selfishly wished to spend some more time with them before she had to so promptly leave.

"Don't mention it." Terri winked at her as she went over to David and kissed him on his cheek. "Well, I'm going to get dressed so we could go, honey."

"And I'm going to wake up that sleeping bear." Ziva said and stood up, giving Rex the last scratch before heading the same direction as Terri towards her room.

She opened the door as quietly as she could and slipped inside the room, her eyes seeking Tony's sleeping form in the bed. Instead, she found it empty with only rumpled sheets all over. She scanned the room quickly, trying to figure out where he had disappeared into, but in that moment, the bathroom door opposite of her opened and she stood face to face to freshly showered Tony with only a towel around his hips.

It was a mesmerizing image, one she'd seen behind her eyelids at least thousands times during her sleep when her dreams had decided to torture her with fantasies about a man that couldn't have been hers. Many times she'd been living this particular scene and yet, this time it seemed surreal and fanciful. Maybe the morning sunlight was doing its part and the steam behind him coming from the bathroom, as well. But she suddenly doubted whether any of what she'd experienced in the last few days was real.

"Hey." He greeted her with his brand smile and watched her with interest as she stared back at him.

She looked almost surprised that she heard him talking. Taking those couple of steps towards him, her hands spread out on his chest that was still coloured in a pink shade due to the hot water he had used a few minutes ago. She followed the trail of one of the drops that ran down his skin all the way from his wet, freshly washed hair, with her fingers. He stood there motionlessly, just breathing evenly.

Her hands then firmly caught his biceps, kneading the muscles for several seconds before she put her right hand over his heart. When she felt it beating, she looked up at him and stared at him, absolutely smitten as if her dreams had come true. He realized that she must have experienced a similar dream sequence because she had been apparently checking his genuineness.

He could relate to her because he was sure that he was going to act exactly the same once they would be home, in Washington D.C. He would need constant assurances that he wasn't dreaming and that his mind wasn't playing tricks on him. The amount of happiness was just good to be true. The only thing they could have for each other was a rapport.

His neck was the next target of her seeking hands. Then she kept touching his face, tracing the outlines of his lips that she couldn't help but focus her gaze at. They were very inviting and succulent and she shivered in excitement over the thought of feeling them against her own. She suddenly wasn't sure how he tasted and she was dying to confirm her guesses more than ever.

When Tony saw the intense gaze directed at his mouth, he leaned down slightly and gently captured her lips in a sweet, unobtrusive kiss. Before his lips could envelop hers fully, though, he pulled back and watched as her eyes she had closed earlier fluttered open and her face held a satisfied expression. She finally ascertained that this was no dream, no fantasy and all of it was real.

The realization woke up a new wave of hunger in her. She desired him in all ways possible, she wanted to feel him inside her, filling her with indescribable emotions. She wanted to feel their hips moving in a rhythmic sync, to feel his hot breath on her face, to devour him and make him sweat. She was surprised by the intensity of her lust as the tickling sensation started to tug inside her belly.

He could see the change in her immediately and she could bet that he had no objections. To sate his own hunger for her was impossible task to carry out. His hands acted on their volition when he embraced her on the small of her back and pushed her close to his body. Her arms encircled his neck tightly, forcing him to bend his head down so she could glue herself to him forever.

At first, they just hungrily nipped at each other, not quite being able to make their mouths clash but once they did, the passion between them exploded with a magical intensity. They both moaned and groaned when they got to know the extension of their respective want while their mouths devoured each other in a loving, mighty kiss that deprived them of oxygen, but neither cared about that fact at the moment.

Tony figured that there was no time to spare. They had tons of stuff to do and yet, they were getting distracted by the needs of their libidos. He backed her towards the bookcase, slamming her body against it and she moaned appreciatively at the wild action. If this was supposed to be a morning quickie, they would be quick about it then. No stalling, no experimenting, no exploring. Only a way to reach the desired gratification.

He took the bathrobe off of her, his hands immediately sticking below the cloth of the undershirt she wore as pyjamas, squeezing her breasts. She arched her chest towards his hands, welcoming his warm touches that he had perfected the day before. And that he'd really taken the lesson to heart was perceptible because she felt like on the way to heaven again.

Taking control of the kiss completely, she pushed herself off the bookcase and backed him towards the bed. She could have been horny and eager to get her release, but she was sure she could never get it against a bookcase she valued too much to get it destroyed. After all, he didn't mind it whatsoever. He just groaned when her hands slipped on his waist, playing with the rim of the towel.

He prevented her from carrying out her idea of stripping him off completely, though. Not that he wanted to play any games, but he was too busy with pulling her undershirt over her head. And for that she had to obediently lift her arms up. He threw away the undershirt on the left so it would join the bathrobe at the bookcase and looked at her for the first time since they had kissed.

She looked stunning when she was sultry and it only increased his appetite. Suddenly, she launched herself at him, not wanting to waste any time, either. However, he only used it to his advantage as he bent down slightly and took her by her knees, hoisting her up on the low lever cupboards next to the TV. She stared at him surprised but didn't make anything to express her displeasure.

She ultimately had no chance to do so as the only thing she could express was the exact opposite. He took her left breast into his mouth and her chin faced the ceiling as she bent her head down in order to contain her satisfaction, accompanied by lovely moans. Her fingers reached into his hair and she didn't hesitate to embrace his head to keep him on the place.

While his tongue was delightfully flicking around her nipple, eventually shifting to the second breast, he started to work on pulling her pyjama pants down. It was too late when she realized that they were loosely hanging over her ankles and she felt a light blow of cool air in the area of her pussy as her panties followed the same path as her pants.

She was already more than ready to welcome anything inside her and start to build the orgasm, she could digest that without a doubt. Her legs opened to welcome him between them and he accepted that invitation with a smile. Since his mouth never left her breasts, she had to take his head and turn his gaze towards hers so she could show him how much she appreciated his actions but there was something way more urgent.

Her eyes were seeking his for understanding for barely a second when he nodded in acknowledgment of her needs that matched his. They were one mind, one heart and one soul, so there was no wonder he didn't need her to tell him what to do. He gave her a quick, yet deep kiss which she utilized for grabbing the towel and unwrapping it from his waist so she could throw it away.

Both finally naked, there was no reason to stall things any further. Ziva's hand found his erected member, giving it a squeeze to which Tony responded with a guttural groan full of impatience. His palms spread on her ass as he pushed her body closer, spreading her thighs wider and lifting her calves in the air. She was forced to withdraw her hand and adjust her body into the right angle to give him enough space.

He didn't ask for any permission, neither did he try to assure himself about her comfort. He needed her now and there was nothing that could stop him, especially when he knew that she wanted the same thing. She barely had the time to grasp the edge of the cupboard to find some support and he was already inside her, driving her crazy with the thrusting movement of his hips.

She moaned loudly, perhaps too loudly than it would be appropriate, and her right hand slipped against the surface of the cupboard. With no support whatsoever, she found his arm within her grasp since he held her thighs in his hands. He had to bit his bottom lip to contain himself because she felt so good and was again so amazingly responsive that he almost lost it at the first contact.

Fortunately for them, the cupboards were firmly attached to the wall, so there was almost no sound of frenzied bouncing against the wall. TV was another story, but it seemed that it would survive their sexual encounter if they stayed where they were. The room was filled with the sound of their ragged breathing, their moans and groans, and the sound of slamming their bodies together, anyway.

That was why their bodies froze in shock when they heard an unexpected knock on the bedroom's door. They had completely forgotten about the outside world when they had started this. Ziva was startled to that degree that she shot her body upwards, using Tony's body as support and he had to embrace her to help her half-sit and half-lay. The change of the angle made her moan and she started to tremble in the anticipation of her release.

"Sorry to interrupt you two, but I must ask..." Terri's muffled voice behind the door let them know about her presence, with a noticeable amusement as the main ingredient of her tone, "Can we leave Rex here with you?"

Ziva uttered a swearword through her gritted teeth as she tried to hold herself together while Tony felt his palm sweating. "Of course you can, Terri!" She eventually gathered enough concentration to answer. A moan of pleasure followed, though, because Tony had to move in order to keep himself standing, her sitting and cover what they were doing. Needless to say he was failing in it.

Her body shivered even more, both from pleasure and the muscle strain she wasn't used to. She clung onto him, praying silently for Terri to go away because she wasn't sure how much she could take. The sweat their pores were producing doubled since they both breathed heavily with their faces so close to each other. They were too afraid to kiss, though, no wanting to give themselves away, much to Terri's chagrin.

"Perfect, thank you so much!" Terri leaned against the door, trying to catch the sounds inside to confirm her guesses. "If he bothers you or gets agitated just show him where his place is, he'll stay there. Especially if you give him a treat."

Tony's hands unexpectedly slid down due to his wet palms and as he tried to catch Ziva, he thrust into her and she moaned in response. She apparently thought that he was immune to it or something but he hardly was, especially when she moaned his name softly into his ear right after. He laid her on the cupboard's surface, apologizing silently through his gaze when her head hit the wall.

She couldn't be angry at him whatsoever, particularly because he leaned over her and put his hands on each side of her body. That produced another thrust into her and she gasped in satisfaction, wrapping her legs around his torso. His mouth attacked her neck because he couldn't stand the sultry, seductive look full of hunger for him. He would be no longer in command of his body for sure if she kept staring at him that way.

"O-okay!" Ziva squeaked out and added a moan, slowly losing control over everything. She was magnificently worshipped by her lover and even though he wasn't currently moving, the feeling of his throbbing manhood buried inside her, pulsing against her inner walls was too much to take.

"Good!" Terri answered, smiling wickedly because she wasn't stupid. She knew very well what they were doing behind the door as she was no stranger to morning quickies. "And for the sake of everyone who watched you two getting together – give it your all!"

Tony burst out laughing, trying to mute his laughter down by sinking his teeth into Ziva's skin below her collarbone. He could already anticipate that Terri would cheer them up, instead of telling them to cool it down. Ziva listened intently to assure herself that her roommate wasn't within earshot, slowly raking Tony's hair with her fingers, trying to suppress any reaction of her body on the laughter coming from her boyfriend.

"What?" She asked him after she heard the door on the corridor clicking, singing that Terri left her spot in front of her bedroom's door.

She lifted his head up to look into his cheerful eyes as he started to laugh out loud. "I don't know!" He exclaimed through his laughter. "I just haven't been walked on in having sex for ages."

He couldn't help but find the whole situation funny. And Ziva apparently as well because she joined him in his laughter in an instant, stroking his cheeks lovingly. Her face then turned serious and she attached her lips to his, subduing the remaining bubbling laughter inside him. Soon, he was completely dazed from her powerful kiss as she inspected the farthest corners of his mouth.

"Well, will you give it your all?" She purred into his ear, feeling him shiver. An involuntary jerk of his hips made her moan and dip her head back to lean it against the wall so she could pull herself together.

He leaned over her, pushing his hard penis deeper inside her and she moaned softly again, trying to grasp the edge of the cupboards for support. "You can bet I will." He whispered sweetly into her ear, taking her by her thighs once more to open her legs even wider.

Her scream as he thrust into her deeply was swallowed by his kiss and she resignedly threw her hands in the air to show her frustration. Shortly after, though, she was too consumed by the pleasure he was giving her that she forgot what had frustrated her. Her hands neatly massaged his shoulder blades, instead, sending shivers down his back in spite of all the scorching heat all around them.

Nothing around them existed, nothing was important. Their ignored their muscles screaming at them to change the angle, to move and relax the enormous strain. All that mattered was their need for gratification, the burning desire to reach the proverbial heaven of bliss. Tony pounded into her with such a vigour he had no idea where he'd gathered while Ziva unabashedly verbally urged him to go faster and give her more, using all the languages she'd known.

And although he had just a vague notion what the words meant, he had no doubt about the message behind them. In no time, she shattered around his throbbing shaft, digging her nails into his skin everywhere she could, while moaning loudly. The way she flexed her inner muscles to ride the pleasure and enjoy it, triggered his own climax and he fell on top of her, squinting his eyes under the wave of satisfaction that washed over him.

For an eternal moment they just breathed heavily, their bodies strangely interwoven together as they hold onto each other to provide the support they both needed. Tony then managed to push himself up, afraid that he might smother her with his weight, which proved out to be wrong assumption because she whimpered at the loss of his body warmth, but was too weakened to prevent him from moving.

He flopped down on the bed behind him, trying to calm his breathing and his erratic heartbeat. If a morning quickie would be always like that with her, then he should definitely visit a doctor to get his heart checked, because it could give him a heart-attack eventually. It didn't matter how healthy he was, for the sake of his age and his anamnesis, he should be careful.

With difficulty, as her elbows kept betraying her, Ziva eventually sat up, hanging her legs over the cupboards. The sight in front of her with naked Tony sprawled on the bed, she almost got overpowered by her lust for him once again. But her sense of responsibility didn't allow that to her so when she was sure that her wobbly legs would be able to keep her standing, she jumped back on the floor.

Retrieving her clothes, she went into the bathroom to clean herself up and dress up into casual clothes while throwing the towel back at him so he could cover. He accepted with a gesture of gratitude but remained lying idly on the mattress. She had to take care of it herself when she emerged from the bathroom, straddling his hips which made him think about entirely different things.

She didn't give him any space to question her motives as she touched his nose with her own and forced his mouth to open so she could proceed to a passionate kiss. However, he was very soon surprised with the direction, because instead of titillating him, she started to wrap the towel around his hips, securing it tightly. Then she ended the kiss and ordered him to get dressed so they could finally start properly packing.

With a frustrated sigh, he raked his hair but obeyed her order and get out of the bed, so he could put some clothes on. In the meantime, she went to bring more boxes she could use for storing her things she wanted to take with her to the United States. Rex curiously ran to check up on them but the logic of the actions that the humans were doing was beyond his understanding.

Tony watched as Ziva started to take objects one by one, nostalgically holding it in her hands before she put it inside the box, looking sadly at the place the object originally had been occupying. He suddenly felt sorry for her and started to understand why she'd many times before just packed the necessities and disappeared. There was something terrifyingly definite on packing the whole room.

After she had done so four times, he went over to her and embraced her from behind, intertwining the fingers of their hands and putting them on her stomach. She sighed in content and leaned her back fully against his chest. "You're going to miss it here, right?" He asked her, leaning his chin against the top of her head.

She looked around and gulped down the lump inside her throat. Instead of a verbal answer, she opted for a distinct nod of her head to confirm his claim. "Look, this apartment is pretty neat." He began to voice his offer while drawing circles on her belly with his thumbs. "If you want to take some piece of furniture, I think that we can pull it off."

Before he even had the chance to finish his sentence, she spun around in his embrace and put a hand over his mouth, so his last words were muffled. "No, I don't want to." She assured him resolutely. "I furnished this apartment in 'Ziva David' style. And I don't want that anymore."

She slipped her hands down on his chest and covered his heart. "I want 'Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David' apartment. In a style we will choose together that will represent us." She explained to him and watched as a huge smile spread on his face. He immediately bent down to kiss her deeply, lifting her into his arms and twirling her around in a joyous circle.

* * *

_Kan beiti, po ani noladeti / Here is my home, here I was born_

_Bamishor asher al s'fat hayam / On the plain which is by the shore_

_Kan hachaverim itam gadalti / Here are the friends who I grew up with_

_Ve'ein li shum makom acher ba'olam / And I have no other place in the world_

_Ein li shum makom acher ba'olam / I have no other place in the world_

Terri loudly started to sing the song that resonated through the apartment while she, Ziva, Tony and David were packing Ziva's stuff into the boxes and taped them up, stocking them in the loft area by the wall. Naturally, her hips started to dance into the songs, as well, and she completely ignored protesting barks of her dear dog that gave up after a while.

She loved the song called 'Kan'*1 so much as it perfectly described the feeling of establishing 'home' after so many years of wandering all over the world – simply the creation of the state of Israel and feeling relief that it had finally happened. She remembered her mother singing it to her when she was a baby, after the song appeared in 1991 Eurovision Song Contest*2 where Duo Datz sang it, placing on a very good third place.

_Kan beiti po ani sichakti / Here is my home, here I played_

_Bash'fela asher al gav hahar / In the lowland which is near the mountain_

_Kan min habe'er shatiti mayim / Here I drank water from the well_

_Veshatalti deshe bamidbar / And planted grass in the desert_

_Veshatalti deshe bamidbar / And planted grass in the desert_

Ziva joined her in the singing, taking the second verse. It was a great idea to put on some music while packing the stuff because it certainly brought a huge amount of good mood among the four of them. They worked fast, feeling well and relaxed, not actually being in any hurry. She took the box and set it in front of Terri who seized the adhesive tape and started to tape the box up.

_Kan noladeti / Here I was born_

_Kan noldu li yeladai / Here my children were born to me_

_Kan baniti et beiti – bishtei yadai / Here I built my house – with my own two hands_

_Kan gam ata iti / Here, you're also with me_

_Vechan kol elef yedidai / And here are all of my thousand friends_

_Ve'ach'rei shanim alpaim / And after 2000 years_

_Sof lindudai / My wanderings are over_

Ziva took the scissors and helped Terri with the box, using a black marker pen to write what the content of the box was, including number, while singing the chorus together. Terri then wrote down the number of the box and its content into a list they had created specifically for this packing so they would know where things were. They had already booked a delivery company that pick up the boxes on Monday and would transfer them to the United States into Tony's apartment.

_Kan et kol shirai ani niganti / Here I played all my songs_

_Vehalachti bemas'a leili / And went on a night journey_

_Kan bine'urai ani heganti / Here in my youth I defended_

_Al chelkat ha'Elohim sheli / The land of my God_

_Al chelkat ha'Elohim sheli / The land of my God_

Together, they sang the third verse they both knew by heart, making Tony to stumble in surprise and he was forced to find his balance again with the heavy box in his hands. David behind him chuckled and told him that those two had been doing this quite often. He even prodded them from time to time to enrol for a singing competition. They had always refused though.

_Kan noladeti / Here I was born_

_Kan noldu li yeladai / Here my children were born to me_

_Kan baniti et beiti – bishtei yadai / Here I built my house – with my own two hands_

_Kan gam ata iti / Here, you're also with me_

_Vechan kol elef yedidai / And here are all of my thousand friends_

_Ve'ach'rei shanim alpaim / And after 2000 years_

_Sof lindudai / My wanderings are over_

The girls took the boxes from the guys and repeated the procedure of taping them up, labelling them, numbering them and adding them on the list. During that they sang and danced through the loft area with Rex running around them and inviting them to play with him. Tony and David then took the boxes again and stacked them to rest by the wall in the living room area.

_Kan / Here_

_Kan et schulchani ani arachti / Here I set my table_

_Pat shel lechem, perach ra'anan / A piece of bread, a fresh flower_

_Delet lash'chenim ani patachti / I opened the door to my neighbours_

_Umi sheba, nomar lo 'Ahalan!' / And whoever comes, we'll greet 'Ahalan!'_

_Umi sheba, nomar lo 'Ahalan!' / And whoever comes, we'll greet 'Ahalan!'_

In the meantime, and still singing and dancing, the girls went over to the kitchen to pull out the bottles with water and refresh, leaving two bottles also for the guys. Terri patted Ziva's shoulder and gestured towards the free space in the loft area where they could dance the choreography of the song that Duo Datz danced during their performance on Eurovision.

_Kan noladeti / Here I was born_

_Kan noldu li yeladai / Here my children were born to me_

_Kan baniti et beiti – bishtei yadai / Here I built my house – with my own two hands_

_Kan gam ata iti / Here, you're also with me_

_Vechan kol elef yedidai / And here are all of my thousand friends_

_Ve'ach'rei shanim alpaim / And after 2000 years_

_Sof lindudai / My wanderings are over_

Tony could only observe with his mouth wide open as the girls moved over to the place between couch and kitchen, trying to remember the steps of the dance. David dragged him to the bar where they both sat and enjoyed the view on their dancing significant others with Rex sitting down at their feet. He had no passion for this kind of human entertainment so he guessed that it would be better to wait until they would be done and then properly ask for attention.

_Kan gam ata iti / Here, you're also with me_

_Vechan kol elef yedidai / And here are all of my thousand friends_

_Ve'ach'rei shanim alpaim / And after 2000 years_

_Ach'rei shanim alpaim / After 2000 years_

The dance was a simple one. After the first 'kan' in the chorus, one had to pump his/her right fist into the air in winning-like gesture while the legs were motionless. On the second 'kan' in the chorus, the fist pump was lowered on the level of right shoulder. The right leg moved on the third 'kan', taking a sidestep on the left side while the left leg took a step on the spot. The right leg then took a step further back, left foot took a little step forward and the right one took a step forward so they would in the same line again.

The steps were done during 'kan baniti et beiti' part and the hand went down just to accompany the movement. The 'bishtei yadai' part required pumping right first into the air twice. On the fourth 'kan' the hand was stretched out forward and fist opened while the legs were bent into the rhythm of the song. With words 'Vechan kol elef yedidadi' the hand draw a semicircle in the air which was supposed indicate all of the thousand friends. Then the pair would repeat the previous steps with a twirl at the end of the chorus.

_Kan noladeti / Here I was born_

_Kan noldu li yeladai / Here my children were born to me_

_Kan baniti et beiti – bishtei yadai / Here I built my house – with my own two hands_

_Kan gam ata iti / Here, you're also with me_

_Vechan kol elef yedidai / And here are all of my thousand friends_

_Ve'ach'rei shanim alpaim / And after 2000 years_

_Sof lindudai / My wanderings are over_

The girls remembered the choreography quite well, actually, and looked like professionals. They sang the song at full throttle, feeling deeply the message behind the lyrics, adding a couple of their own original moves into the dancing, especially with the ending part. Eventually, the finished with their backs leaned against one another and their hands gracefully gesturing towards the ceiling.

_Kan gam ata iti / Here, you're also with me_

_Vechan kol elef yedidai / And here are all of my thousand friends_

_Ve'ach'rei shanim alpaim / And after 2000 years_

_Sof, sof lindudai / Over, my wanderings are over_

The guys awarded them with a standing ovation as the girls took a bow and accepted the appreciation from their respective boyfriends. Rex expressed his opinion through a long howl that more begged for paying attention to him. Another song started right after but the packing was really way more important so they continued only with singing the songs and a little dancing, but not any big show.

By late evening they were done as incredulous it might sound. Almost everything out of Ziva's room was packed in the boxes and stored by the wall, ready for the pick-up and delivery to the United States. With satisfaction, they all flopped down on the couch, ordered pizza and relaxed. Rex finally had the time to check what the result of their doing was and, needless to say, he didn't like it.

He started to bark angrily at the boxes, although he wasn't sure what exactly they meant. However, he was sure that their meaning concerned some change for him, that something soon would be out of ordinary. He was about to lose something for sure. The atmosphere in the apartment was more than telling in this regard. He couldn't just quite figure what the loss was.

Terri had to calm his agitation by treats and even those couldn't shut him up for long. Either way, the four of them enjoyed the evening together immensely, sharing stories and experiences. Ziva could finally reveal more of her past and contribute with her own funny snippets to the amusement of Terri and David and to tease Tony a bit. Tony did have a couple of aces in his sleeve, as well, so the other couple actually had a hard time to keep their faces straight for a mere moment.

But since the flight to Frankfurt was scheduled for take-off shortly before 5 AM, which meant that they had to be on the airport around 3 AM the latest, they went to sleep around midnight to gather some of the spent energy. Ziva felt a bit uncomfortable to sleep in the empty bedroom but luckily for her Tony's strong arms filled her in with a feeling of safety and she eventually dozed off very quickly.

* * *

In the midst of the night, Tony and Ziva bid a tearful goodbye to the loyal German Shepherd who finally realized what he was about to lose and started to sadly growl. They both promised him to visit him soon and play with him, go for a walk with him and bring him as many delicious treats they could. Their departure was necessary, though, although they suddenly wished that they wouldn't have to hurry that much.

After two full days in Israel, they reached the Ben Gurion International airport once more, now even having the chance to see the interiors of the halls and not being 'kidnapped' right on the tarmac. Tony felt a strange tingling but managed to suppress it because this flight back was way different from the one he had experienced more than two years ago. She would be in the plane with him, that was very much certain this time.

The necessary goodbye with their two friends struck them like a bolt of lightning after they checked in the luggage. The heavy tense atmosphere hung in the air as none of them had the desire to be the first one to start. "Well, I gotta say that it was a pleasure for me meeting you both." Tony eventually found the courage because he hated to just stand there and stare.

"And I'm really sorry that we have to leave so soon because I'd enjoy another week or two in your company." He continued and stretched his hand out towards David who accepted it and then mildly hugged the other man as a sign of friendship. "But I hope that we will see each other in a short time."

"We definitely will!" Terri exclaimed and hugged him, too, and more tightly than her fiancé. "After all, you're invited to the wedding and we already have in plan to visit US this summer."

"And we'll welcome you with open arms." Tony gave her a peck on her cheek, stepping away to give Ziva space to bid her goodbye.

His girlfriend, though, looked as if she was about to cry in any second. If anyone ever wondered why Ziva David was so horrible at parting ways with people she cared about, then they finally had their answer. Tony had never seen her face so red as she tried to fight back the tears while attempting to speak in the same time, making the skin on her face look wrinkly. She looked like a shar-pei puppy.

"I don't know what to say." She squeaked out through her constricted throat in a plaintive tone. "You're two are just... Just so caring, fabulous and extraordinary friends. And I feel so blessed to have you in my life."

Tony smiled proudly at the words she was able to say. If the times were different, Terri and David would probably never hear from her again. But she changed a lot in this regard and decided to treat people in her closest surrounding the way they deserved. And that currently included a proper goodbye with expression of feelings and appreciation towards to those who had helped her to transform into better person.

She tried to say so much more, but the words just got stuck. "Hush now." David stepped in and enveloped her in his arms, feeling more overwhelmed with emotions that he had expected. "We're equally blessed to get to know you. And I thank you for all the lessons you've given me."

Ziva crackled with a chuckle, glad that David appreciated it in the end. He had matured and realized what was really important for him and she couldn't be any happier for that. He pulled away then and took her by her chin to look into her eyes. "Go and be happy with your prince. You deserve it more than anyone."

She thanked him with an appreciative nod, too emotional to express it through words. He stepped away from her and gave space to his fiancée to say goodbye. Terri already had tears in her eyes, not expecting the parting to be so difficult. But it only proved how close she and Ziva had become. They had changed their lives for better and now it was time to find their own way.

"Come here." She mumbled and pulled her into a hug, sniffing as Ziva enveloped her just as tightly. They just hold onto each other for a long while, both trying to keep their emotions in check.

"It's going to be so weird not to have you around every day." Terri whispered sadly, realizing how dependant she actually was on her roommate.

"Likewise." Ziva whispered back, intensifying her embrace. If she could, she would pack Terri and David with her and found them apartment across the hall or something, so they could continue meeting every day. "And I'm going to live with a guy now."

Terri caressed her head soothingly, knowing that it wasn't going to be easy, especially since Ziva had always lived with her family, alone or with a female friend. "I know and I feel you." She told her and shuddered at the thought that she was actually about to do the same. "Me too, plus I'm getting married. I'm gonna be someone's wife."

Ziva chuckled at their pathetic complains, considering that those things were everything they ever wanted. She pulled away and wiped away her tears, taking Terri by her hands. "There's so much I'd love to tell you but I just can't find the right words." She said, another wave of tears threatening to overcome her composure. "Because I don't think that simple 'thank you' and 'goodbye' will ever be enough. But then again, no other words probably can describe what I feel."

Terri bit her trembling bottom lip, tear involuntarily falling down her cheeks. "OK, let's stop this, it's not like we won't see each other again." She resolutely announced in an attempt to pull herself together. "We don't live in ancient times, we're modern women. I'll Skype you next week and we'll talk as usual."

"Deal." Ziva confirmed and stepped away from her friend.

Tony and Ziva bid their final goodbye and headed for the security check so they could get through to the transit area and wait for the take-off. The airport was relatively quiet due to the early hour and nights weren't that busy as days, so the security check went quite smoothly and without any further delays. Once being in the transit area, Tony bought a bottle of water for Ziva who seemed to be dehydrated after all the crying.

She accepted it gratefully and drank half of the bottle at one shot. "I'm sorry, I really didn't expect that it would shake me so much." She apologized, her hands still trembling. No wonder the security officers were looking at her suspiciously.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." He told her and came up to her, taking her by her chin. She looked into his eyes and felt her nerves calming down. She was no longer trembling because of her emotions, but in the anticipation of a kiss. And that soon came, a kiss that spread warmth across her body, melting her and making her knees weak.

"Now, isn't that the most disturbing thing I've ever seen?" A woman's voice full of disdain suddenly roused them up from their love haze.

Ziva broke the kiss, suddenly insecure because she recognized the voice despite the viciousness in the tone. "Deena..." She said quietly, facing her former friend who was shooting daggers at the couple in front of her.

Deena Bashan stood there with a hand luggage and a jacket over her arm. Her face mirrored the animosity in her voice, yet Tony could detect certain level of tenderness in her eyes. She couldn't fool him, despite blaming Ziva for stealing her happiness, she still cared about her. Their friendship had been long-standing and all the memories and feelings just couldn't go away.

"What are you doing here? Trying to save her from umpteenth time?" Deena turned to Tony and measure him up and down. "Can't believe I had the luck to run into you two."

Ziva had a retort prepared on her tongue as she didn't want give Deena the space to insult her or Tony. But then she stopped herself, because she realized that argument wouldn't solve anything. It still pained her that Deena didn't want to listen and open her eyes to the truth. Or at least give her chance to explain everything that had happened. She would be more open and told her all the details in person as the letter hadn't seemed to be enough.

"Not that it's any of your business what I'm doing here, but she's my girlfriend now." Tony answered, his jaw clenched and his tone dangerously low that gave Deena a sign to back off.

Deena made an annoyed face and made a little step back to level them with a judging stare. "She doesn't deserve to be happy." She growled and pointed her finger at Ziva who flinched at the accusatory tone.

"And who exactly you are to think that you have the authority to determine that?" Tony didn't lose a beat, crossing his arms across his chest defensively. He understood that the woman in front of him had been hurt by Ari's death immensely, considering that they had been a couple, but there was a big difference between being hurt and being downright hateful.

"She took away a chance on my happiness so I am entitled to wish her the worst!" Deena cried out, the sorrow she still felt over the loss of a loved one getting better of her. After all, the wound had recently been opened up. Her breathing quickened as her aching heart let loose all the pain inside.

Tony opened his mouth to snap at her to pull herself finally together and offer her some psychological help, but Ziva stepped in, touching his arm to silence him. "I'm really sorry for the harm you suffered." She told to her former friend and her eyes mirrored the sympathy that could be clearly digested in her voice. "But believe me, Deena, I have already paid my price."

"Evidently not enough because you deserve to suffer more in my opinion." Deena snapped back at her defensively.

Tony shook his head and sighed wearily. He could understand the grudge Deena held against Ziva but he couldn't let her to be cruel to the love of his life. "No, she deserves to be happy. Because unlike you, she is capable of forgiveness." He said in a patient tone, realizing that certain segment of his and Ziva's past might convince Deena to think differently. "I killed her boyfriend. In self-defence, but I did."

Deena furrowed her eyebrows in contemplation, pondering Tony's words. "Michael..." She then breathed out in acknowledgment, eyeing Ziva incredulously. "He killed Michael?"

Ziva confirmed her question with a nod, squeezing Tony's biceps encouragingly. This parallel hadn't actually come to her mind until now and she admired him for being able to bring this up. It was a topic they both rather avoided. Not for the reason it could cause any rift between them, that had been sorted out a long time ago. But because it could cause unnecessary pain and over-analysis of certain things.

Strengthened by her support, Tony didn't hesitate to continue. "Yet, she forgave me. He was playing her and she didn't deserve such a treatment." He said, showing that Michael Rivkin, just as Ari Haswari, had lied to their girlfriends and committed unforgivable crimes. "In the end, she wasn't blind to the truth and accepted it, although it hurt. And she even fell in love with me."

Deena stood frozen and regarded him with unbelieving expression. It had never occurred to her that it could have been Tony who killed Michael. But it all made sense now. She could finally understand why Ziva had left NCIS all those years ago and ended up in Somalia, tortured and humiliated. She hadn't trusted Tony and hadn't believed everything that had been claimed about Michael's intentions with her. And so, she had to go through horrors a normal human being couldn't even imagine.

She had the luck that the same people she had lost trust into had never given up on her and had gone to save her whatever it cost. Deena knew that during her capture, Ziva had thought about all the facts and had come to the conclusion that Michael's feelings hadn't been all that sincere as he had claimed. Still, she wasn't sure whether the fact that she had fallen for the man who had killed a man she once loved deserved admiration or contempt.

"But that's something you'll probably never understand because the concept of forgiveness is unfamiliar to you." Tony closed it, knowing that he got to the bottom of things and that his words had a certain impact on Deena whether she wanted it or not.

"Deena..." Ziva risked it and approached her, careful not to touch her because it could have a different outcome than she wanted. "It doesn't have to end up like this. If you ever decide to understand, let me know. We can work this out."

An electronic female voice suddenly interrupted them, informing that the passengers of the flight to Amsterdam started boarding. Deena looked around her and hesitated. "That's my flight." She announced and looked back at Ziva. "I'll think about it."

With that, she turned around and promptly left, igniting a spark of hope in Ziva's heart that their friendship didn't have to be over yet. Tony then led her to their gate as flight to Amsterdam was leaving shortly before theirs to Frankfurt so it meant that they would board the plane soon, as well. And they were in the sky in no time, leaving Israel behind them, towards to the new beginning.

_**The End of Chapter 22** _

* * *

*1 Kan means 'here'. The song is also sometimes called Kan Beiti (My house is here) or Kan Noladti (I was born here).

*2 Eurovision Song Contest – for those who has no idea what the hell that is: sometimes, it's also called just Eurovision and it's international (mostly European) TV song competition where every participating country submits an original song and it's then performed on live TV and countries cast their votes to determine what song is the most popular. Each country can vote for anyone else but themselves. The event is always hosted in the country that won the previous year. The most notable winners are Swedish group ABBA, Canadian singer Céline Dion, Ukrainian singer Ruslana, Finnish group Lordi etc.


	23. Chapter 23

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 23** _

It felt weird to be home back again. To get off of the plane, walk through the corridors of Dulles International Airport Arrivals Building towards the Baggage Claim area. Although they both had gone through the same procedure countless times, it felt differently. Tony's life had turned upside down in barely a week and Ziva's, as well. And they both felt it deep their bones. The couple who had stepped back on the US soil was a completely different pair of people than those who had left.

Their flight was luckily uneventful. Uneventful in that sense that there hadn't been any delays, any problems on the airport, any weather surprises, simply nothing. Their plane had flown through the sky towards the continent of America peacefully, just as 99% of the flights in the air, after all. Tony had been afraid of some snow storm coming, paralyzing the flight traffic, but everything had gone smoothly.

They had spent most of their time by sleeping or at least relaxing, knowing that in the next few days, their lives were certainly going to be hectic. There were so many things that needed to arranged – bureaucratic stuff, moving in, meeting with the team, making amends with them for Ziva's unexpected and hasty departure without even properly saying goodbye and all that. So, they rather enjoyed those couple of hours of having the chance to do nothing.

Tony sat down and waited for the baggage to be loaded on the belt so he could retrieve his own and Ziva's. He looked over at her and smiled warmly. He was home and not just in the sense of being somewhere. He was home with a person whom he considered to be a home. And that feeling could beat all of those anxious fears that had gathered inside of him for the last couple of months.

Ziva, on the other hand, felt awkward because she had assumed that she would feel strange. She had expected all kinds of emotions from herself – fear, pain, diffidence, anxiety, joy, happiness... But all she was left with was content. Everything about her being back in the United Sates felt _right_ and she was convinced more than ever that this was meant to be. Her homecoming in this fashion was written in the stars.

When they claimed their baggage, they opened it and pulled out prepared warmer clothes and went out of the airport building into the pleasant winter but sunny afternoon. Tony waved at taxi whose driver helped him to load their baggage into the trunk, and in a while, they were heading towards Tony's apartment through the streets of the United States of America's capital.

While Tony chatted with the driver, Ziva was completely distracted by observing her surroundings. She recognized so many places – where she had used to walk, used to jog or just happened to pass by for some reason, or where she had used to go eating on her days off or ordering take-away. She even recognized some places they had visited while investigating crimes.

The whole time, she couldn't fight the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. At first, the idea of coming back had terrified her but after experiencing this and feeling only content, she knew that anything bad that might come could be easily dealt with. With Tony by her side, she just felt she could conquer the whole world just by the power of thought.

The taxi driver parked the car in front of Tony's apartment building relatively faster than she had expected. But she also knew that she would have enough time to explore and find what was new in Washington D.C. very soon. Tony paid the driver and started his way towards the building, dragging the baggage with him. She caught up with him shortly after because she needed to take a moment and look around her.

Opening the door, they both stepped into Tony's apartment, now _their_ apartment, and gave out a sigh of relief of finally having the whole journey behind them. He put the baggage down on the floor by the door and took off his coat as the apartment was warm enough. She took off her coat, too, putting both away with a smile because she remembered where Tony was usually putting his coats, jackets and so on.

He then started to check whether everything was okay and nothing suffered any harm while he had been gone, adjusting the heating in the process so the apartment would be even warmer and cozier. He checked his fridge and realized that he definitely had to do some grocery shopping or order takeaway for tonight's dinner because there was nothing he could ever use for an edible dinner.

He suddenly stopped himself at the right passage between his dining room and living room, because her actions caught his eye. At first, he noticed that she was just unsurely standing in the middle of the living room, her eyes roving around it. Then she made her choice and slowly walked around, touching certain things and objects that reminded her of something.

She softly touched a couple of DVDs in his collection on the left from the entry door, smiling wistfully at the memories of them watching those movies together. She caressed the surface of his piano, imagining him sitting there and just playing some soft composition as she had used to in Tel Aviv, thinking about him. Her head lifted up as her gaze focused on the left passage to the dining room through the glass door and recalled that one time they had dined there together.

As she walked around the fireplace with TV above it, she noticed him leaning against the doorframe of the right passage to the dining room and smiled at him shyly. She wasn't sure for how long he'd been watching her and she felt a little bit obtrusive because of her inspection. She just wanted to know if he changed anything and if so, then why. She wanted to know whether Zoe had ever stepped into this apartment and left some signs of her presence here.

Luckily, it didn't seem so. Tony hadn't apparently given her the chance to make herself like at home here. He'd protected his sanctuary at all costs. She sauntered over to him, watching his smile change into a self-satisfied smirk. He guessed her intentions and was happy with himself for that. The only woman he had ever planned to allow to breach the serenity of his apartment was her.

He reached out his right hand and cupped her by her jaw, closing the distance between them as he captured her lips in a sweet kiss. She immediately gave in to it, wrapping her arms around him to bring him closer and let him to feel the intensity of her affection for him. She was suddenly overwhelmed with emotions of being back and with him, letting herself to be finally happy as she deserved.

When they parted, she put her hands on his chest and breathed in and out deeply. "This feels so..." She said and fell silent as she tried to come up with the right word to describe how she felt about being kissed by him in his own apartment. Something they had both dreamt of doing a long time ago.

"Odd?" He suggested with an amused smirk.

"Good." She corrected him with a playful smack on his shoulder, knowing that he was just teasing her. His mischievous eyes had given him away.

"Well, I guess that I have to do it more often then." He replied and took her by her chin to reward her with another loving and ardent kiss that let her know how much he was happy with her being home to be with him. His dreams were getting more real than he could ever wish for.

" _For the two of us, home isn't a place. It is a person. And we are finally home." – Stephanie Perkins_

After releasing her lips he looked to the left and realized that he had an introduction to make. "I should present you to someone." He said and nodded with his head towards the fish bowl with the two goldfishes.

Ziva smiled and turned to the fishbowl to look closer at the swimming fishes inside. "Hello, Kate." She greeted the bigger one and Kate seemed to answer her as she swam to the edge of the bowl and opened and closed her mouth a couple of times. "And hello, little one."

There was another goldfish, a beautiful one and very similar to Kate. Only their proportions were different, hinting about their age. Also, Kate's pride was in her dorsal fin while the other fish had a beautiful tail. "Do I really have to guess her name?" Ziva asked teasingly, pulling faces on both fishes.

Tony chuckled at his own predictability but no one could blame him for that. She had been an important part of his life and if he hadn't bought the fish and hadn't named her after her, he would have never been able to say her name aloud again. The little water silent companion had given him the feeling that someone of that name had still been in his life.

"Naming her after you was logical. Seemed less crazy than talking to the empty apartment." Tony answered with a shrug. "And Kate obviously wasn't interested in such a talk."

She shook her head at him and straightened up as Tony took a box of fish food and gave the girls their daily portion. "Too bad we couldn't take the Tony fish with us. I bet he would have a lot of fun with these two." He commented and gave a wink to both girls in the fishbowl.

"Yeah." She agreed and watched as both Kate and Ziva hungrily fed themselves and played together in the water. Flashing red light caught her eyes suddenly and she touched Tony's arm to gain his attention. "You've got a message on answering machine."

Tony nodded in acknowledgment, put away the box of fish food on its usual place and went over to the answering machine to listen the recorded message. _"Since you no longer answer my texts and I honestly doubt you'll call me, I'm letting you know that I'm back home. Just in case you still want to talk after thinking about things."_ Tony closed his eyes and inhaled deeply at the sound of Zoe's voice, followed by another female, but mechanical, voice informing him that the message was recorded yesterday at 5:26 PM.

"Well, I guess that's my cue." He commented it, rapidly opening his eyes when he felt as she went over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. Gratefully, he caressed her sides to show her that her support was very much appreciated.

"Do you want me to go with you?" She offered, although she knew that he was going to decline. She couldn't stop the urge to protect him.

He smiled at her and squeezed her arms, leaning over to kiss her on her forehead. "You're very kind but I think this is going to be displeasing enough and there's no need to make it, even more, displeasing and for even more people." He turned down her offer sadly. This was his problem to solve, his break-up to go through. She didn't need to go through even more pain than she'd already been.

"Okay." She dropped her suggestion without further protests and touched his cheeks lovingly with the back of her fingers. She loved just to stand in his embrace and look into his eyes. She could do it for hours.

"Are you going to be okay here?" He asked her, suddenly nervous about leaving her alone in his apartment. Correction, _their_ apartment. An imminent fear gripped him when he imagined coming back from his talk with Zoe and finding the apartment empty without any traces of the woman he loved. It didn't matter whether he would just daydream of the past few days or she would decide to leave him for whatever reason.

She palmed his cheeks and forced him to focus his gaze on her. "Yes, I will be. I will make myself home for now. Time to rummage through your wardrobe and make some space for my clothes." She calmed him down that she was really here and she had no intention to leave. Then she smiled at him wickedly and patted his face. "Not to mention that I have to find the darkest secrets you're hiding here."

"Ah, I see..." He chuckled and broke their embrace to pull out his coat. "Don't mind all the weaponry, explosives and porn I keep in my pantry." He joked as she helped him to put the coat on, buttoning it up.

She smacked his ass to punish him while he laughed out loud. Then, he cradled her face and looked deeply into her eyes. "I'm gonna be back ASAP." He assured her, feeling anxious about what he was about to do but he wanted the clean shield more than anything at the moment. He could never start building a nest with the love of his life while he had commitment somewhere else.

"Good luck, Tony." She encouraged him with a nod as she stood up on her toes and kissed him lightly on his lips, letting him know that she believed in him. "I love you."

His eyes lit up, never getting tired of hearing the love confession. "I love you, too." He assured her, bent down and returned her the kiss. Then he straightened up, accepted one last supportive caress of her hand and went out of the door to accomplish his promise to break up with Zoe.

* * *

Surprisingly shortly, he was standing right in front of her door. He couldn't even comprehend how come that the ride had been so fast, he had abided by the rules of the traffic and hadn't crossed the speed limit. Shrugging his shoulders, he guessed that it was the proof of the lack of his late attention, because he hadn't perceived in detail the timing of getting from his apartment to Zoe's before.

He lifted his hand, hesitating before ringing the doorbell. Although he couldn't wait to end this relationship, he wasn't looking forward doing it, either. But he didn't have much choice and the sooner he would do it, the sooner he would have this nightmare behind him. It was time to man up and face the raw reality in which he was currently dating two women but only one had seized his heart.

He rang the doorbell and cleared his throat to prepare himself for a face to face confrontation. He honestly didn't prepare any plan how to start since he didn't have much idea about the level of Zoe's anger with him. Their last personal encounter was an argument when he had refused to spend Christmas with her and her family and for the rest of this week, he had kept dodging her attempts to communicate.

"Hey." He greeted her uncertainly when she opened the door, her expression suddenly hardening when she laid her eyes on him.

"Hey." She greeted him back, leaning against the door in her pink tank top and black leggings.

Tony gave out a sigh of relief because she could have started yelling at him right away, yet she hadn't. "Uhm, can I come in?" He asked, gesturing inside her apartment with his right hand, trying to read her face that remained emotionless.

She stepped back and held the door for him. "Sure." She invited him, her eyes hanging on him. She honestly didn't know what to think so she decided just to go with the flow for now.

He entered her apartment, grateful for the warmth inside as the corridor was quite chilly and he took his coat off, hooking it on her coat rack. She shut the door behind him and remained standing in the same place, observing him. When he turned around to face her, she made her mind about her next step and approached him. Before he could gather what was happening, she kissed him deeply and her hands immediately found the target of her desire.

Very promptly, he tore himself away from her and caught her hands in a firm grip. "Zoe, stop it." He told her when she tried to yank her hands out of his clasp. "This isn't why I came here and you know it."

"Couldn't hurt trying." She countered but relented from other attempts to seduce him. She passed by him, heading for the kitchen. "You want something?"

He looked at her as she took the kettle with freshly boiled water and poured herself a cup of coffee. "Tea would be fine, thanks." He replied and went after her into the kitchen where she had obviously been cleaning her Glock when he had knocked on the door. It was part of her usual Sunday routine to clean her gun if she wasn't on the duty.

She nodded and chose some tea from the kitchen cupboard, putting the tea bag inside a cup and poured water over it, letting the tea to infuse. She heard him pull up the chair by the kitchen table as she opened another cupboard and took two sugar cubes from the box, putting them in the cup, as well. She mixed the dissolving sugar with a teaspoon, turned around and pushed the cup towards Tony.

"So, how was your Christmas?" He broke the silence when she turned away from him, taking the dismantled gun off the table and putting it aside.

She gave out a sarcastic chuckle at his pretended concern for her. He hadn't cared for the past week, so she didn't have any reason to believe that he was genuinely curious. "Not that lonely as I first thought it would be." She answered according to the truth, though. She wanted to show him that she could enjoy herself without his presence. "The whole family gathered and I also met a couple of childhood friends."

He hummed in acknowledgment, not really knowing what to say but he was glad that she hadn't suffered from loneliness. He really didn't wish her anything bad. She took her cup of coffee and sat down on the chair opposite of him with her right leg bent so she could put the feet on the chair, too. Blowing air over the caffeine beverage, she narrowed her eyes on him inquiringly.

"And what about your European adventure?" She asked him calmly, yet he could distinguish the coldness in her voice. "Will I finally have the honour to know where you were?"

"I was in Prague." He replied just as calmly, his fingers playing with the tea bag in the cup. He wondered whether he should add more, like his reasons for choosing this particular city but then he opted for silence.

"Hmm... Prague. I heard it's a beautiful city." She mused aloud on his Christmas holiday destination. She couldn't help but relate it to her job in some way. "Czechs make good guns. CZ 75*1 comes to my mind. And of course, we can't forget Semtex*2 ."

She fell silent and took a sip from her coffee. He had explaining to do, not her. And she wasn't going to facilitate it for him by questioning him. He'd been difficult for a huge amount of weeks, so she wanted to repay him that in the same fashion. She watched as he opened his mouth a couple of times in an effort to start talking, but then closed it again. She could bet that she caught him off-guard with her current approach. He had apparently thought that she would be asking questions and he would be just answering.

"I think that trying to find a way around it is useless because there's none." He eventually started, bravely looking directly into her eyes. "So I think that after everything, I owe you my honesty. No matter how painful and brutal it can be."

She blinked and shrugged her shoulders. She was a straightforward woman and she hated all the 'cat-and-mouse' games. If he wanted to be honest and she would get hurt by his words, she would have to swallow it and keep her head up. She didn't have any illusion, she knew that he'd come here to break up with her. It had been leading to this result for a couple of weeks already. It didn't mean that she wanted to let him off the hook easily, though. She had spent a year trying to fix this man. So yes, she deserved his honesty.

"I just want you to understand that what happened has nothing to do with you personally or with our relationship." He went on, taking it as a good sign that she let him talk and didn't interrupt him. "It's entirely my problem and I deserve all the contempt you'll certainly feel for me. Because you deserve better and I should've told you about this way earlier."

Waving with her hand in the air to urge him to keep talking, she wanted to move on from this 'it's-not-you-it's-me' cliché. She wasn't interested in overplayed excuses she'd heard multiple times in her life. They would certainly come after he would tell what exactly happened and what the reason for their break up was, so they could save it for later and deal with it once she finally knew what she was facing.

Tony took a deep breath and gathered all the remaining courage inside him to look her in the eye. "I cheated on you." He announced bluntly, his voice firm as a rock to his surprise. "I don't regret it, nor do I feel guilty about it."

It felt liberating to stop hiding it from her and once he started talking, he couldn't stop. "It wasn't a momentary weakness. I didn't hire a hooker. And it wasn't a meaningless and random one-night stand." He explained to her because her only reaction was a raise of her eyebrow. "I did it completely deliberately because it was a woman I am in love with for years."

The silence that followed was deafening. He was right, his honesty was brutal and painful in every sense of those words. She felt the blood rushing through her but managed to suppress the first wave of anger mixed with betrayal and disappointment. His words worked like a knife cutting right through her heart. The part she hated the most was _'woman I am in love with for years'_. She apparently didn't have that privilege to be the object worth of his love.

"I didn't go to Prague to meet with her, I swear. I had no idea she'd be there. Meeting her was accidental and surprising." He carried on when he saw that she started to accumulate her wrath before she would unleash it. He decided to add more information while he still had the chance. "I parted my ways with her two years ago and it was the hardest thing I've ever done."

Zoe tossed with her head in reaction at his words. She started to pick up on the hints he was dropping and it didn't take her too long to realize who the woman, her rival, was. "Your ex-partner? Ziva David?" She asked him through gritted teeth, suppressing another wave of anger. Her hands started shaking so she put the cup of coffee down, not wanting to give him the satisfaction to see it.

Tony's face turned pale in an instant, staring at her in disbelief. "How-?" He asked in confusion, not quite understanding how she could guess that he was talking about Ziva when he had revealed nothing about her.

She snorted out a sardonic laugh, interrupting his question effectively. She enjoyed his obvious shock and it gave her enough energy to talking ordinarily without any repressed emotions. "Tony, if you think that your lack of ability to share anything about her left me uninterested and I didn't search for further information than you really underestimate me." She explained, having delight in the way he gulped nervously.

His defence resembled a house of cards right now. He counted on the fact that she didn't know anything so he could explain to her his side of the story and hope that she would understand. Not that any of what he would say would be a lie. He had really planned to be sincere with her. But if she had already heard some modified version of his relationship with Ziva, then he could expect way longer talk than he had anticipated at first. She could easily accuse him of lying and didn't have to believe his words when someone could have claimed the complete opposite.

"What do you know?" He asked her, trying to mask his nervousness by lifting the cup of tea and sipping from it.

"Not much." She admitted, her enjoyment from his consternation faltering slightly. She didn't want to let him know the extent of her wrath and pain, though, not yet. "When I learned the information that was essential for me, I didn't have much reason to keep digging."

He couldn't help but wonder what the 'essential information' was. _If she knew about Ziva and what she meant for him, why she had stayed with him? Why she had insisted on a serious relationship?_ It didn't make any sense to him, in all respect to her intelligence. If he'd been in her shoes, he would have run away from himself at once without looking back. He wouldn't want to have anything serious with himself, not unless he would finally come to terms with the fact that Ziva wouldn't come back and he could smother all the traces of the love he felt for her and start a new life. And he hadn't certainly reached that point yet, although he had been trying.

"What do you know?" He repeated his question as the hot tea brought some of the natural colour back to his face.

She screwed up her face in a mocking grin. She would be lying if she said that it didn't make her feel good that she had thrown him off balance. It was a little satisfaction for what he had done to her but it still counted. "I was told that you two had some sort of a special bond. That you kept dancing with each other but never actually crossed the line." She answered truthfully what she had gathered from many acquaintances in the law enforcement world.

"That you were willing to drag her back from hell if you had to. And the last time you tried to do it, she rejected you and broke your heart." She took a sip from her coffee to moisten her mouth because the venom in her mouth kept dehydrating her throat. She tried to stay neutral while speaking, but it was hard not to feel hatred towards Ziva. That woman had gained those prerogatives she had been trying to gain for the past year and was apparently failing in it. "She left everything behind and the chance at her return was infinitesimal, to say the least."

He nodded in acknowledgment, partially finally understanding why Zoe had started a serious relationship with him. If she had been assured that Ziva's return was less than likely than she had nothing worry about and was just forced to deal with a ghost of his feelings for her. And, in all honesty, everyone had their own past so it wasn't that unusual.

"That's true." He confirmed with a nod, being unsatisfied, however, that it didn't quite cover what he and Ziva had been through and why his feelings for her had made him break his moral code. "And if you want to hear it, I'll tell you all about it."

She considered the offer from all sides. On the one hand, she had no desire to hear how he had fallen in love with another woman when she could hardly swallow the fact that she would never be the object of such affection from his side. On the other hand, though, she might still have a chance. She needed to know whether it was even worth to start fighting for him. Despite what he had done and what couldn't be undone, she was willing to forgive him and fight for their relationship. But only if it had reasonable meaning.

"I'm all ears." She invited him to tell her whatever he wanted. It couldn't be probably worse than it already was.

And so he started with the story that was dedicated to his relationship with Ziva. He didn't go into detail with certain things, he just generally covered how they had met and under what circumstances, what sort of relationship they had developed and how they had been getting closer but had been still pretty much distant to each other. She listened to him, not giving away what she was thinking but he could tell that she was genuinely curious.

He lived to see her first real raw reaction when he started describing the events of Somalia and what had led to it. Frankly, only insensitive human being could sit still and not to give appropriate response. Although she had developed some sort of hateful feelings towards the woman that had practically stolen her man, she wasn't heartless and felt deeply sorry for what Ziva had been through.

By the time he had gotten to the period of Eli David's death, she had comprehended that she had no chance to win this fight. Tony's heart had belonged for years to that woman and with more and more information she was receiving, she understood that it wasn't easy to throw it away and just move on. As a matter of fact, she suddenly highly doubted that Tony was capable of having serious relationship with someone else. Not until Ziva was still out there somewhere and he had even the slightest chance that she might come back one day.

He then briefly summed up his life after Ziva's departure until meeting her in Prague where they had realized that there had no longer been obstacles in their way towards a loving relationship and if there had been any, they were trivial. She concluded that while she considered their relationship as serious, he'd apparently come to the conclusion that it wasn't that serious. And that whatever he felt for her just wasn't strong enough.

It was a realization that was very hard to absorb, not to mention accept. There was nothing she could do about it, though, especially when he revealed about his hasty trip to Israel so he could bring his new-found love back home. Momentarily, she regretted that her Glock was dismantled because she fiercely fought with the urge to take it, go into his apartment and riddle the Israeli bitch with bullets.

But that wasn't how civilized people behaved and she was a woman of law. She devoted her life to prevent such crimes like this, so it had no meaning for her to really do it. She would just wish for Tony to understand that the same amount of love he felt for that Ziva, she felt for him. Just as Tony would never stop loving Ziva, she would never stop loving him. And just as he had suffered for his love, she had suffered, too. Because she'd been abandoned by him twice already. First time a long time ago, and for the second time just now.

"Why didn't you tell me all of this before when you had the chance?" She asked him surprisingly calmly, piercing him with an interrogating stare after he fell silent and just waited for some sort of a verdict.

He sighed and finished the cup of tea, putting it back on the table. "It was still too fresh when we met. I was far from ready to start talking about it. I couldn't even say her name properly aloud." He replied and saw that flick of regret in her eyes as she was angry with herself that she hadn't pressured him more to tell her about it. "Then I just felt it was too late. I was afraid that if I told you, you would naturally leave me because you'd realize our relationship had no future."

When she averted her eyes from him, he smiled bitterly because he'd just confirmed that his fears had been well-founded. "I was scared to be alone again." He confessed earnestly and she looked back at him. "I cherish the time I spent with you, Zoe. Please, don't take this as a sign that I don't appreciate what you've done for me."

Her eyes flashed with a strange gleam when she narrowed them on him in anger. "So in other words, I was just good for you fill the empty space in your bed." She stated, her voice shaking with rage but she managed to keep her poker face.

He sighed and raked his hair in desperation because that was exactly what he didn't want her to think. It was all about the fact that he loved Ziva and when he had the chance to be with her, he damn surely took it. Still, it didn't lessen the merit of Zoe's influence on him. "Zoe..." He started but she cut him off immediately.

"It's called honesty, Spider." She hissed like a snake ready to attack. "You owe that to me, remember?"

He refrained from telling anything more because he honestly didn't know how to counter. From a certain point of view, she was right. She'd just filled a temporarily vacant place and he hadn't been sincere with her enough to tell her that it wasn't going to be permanent. He watched as she turned her head away from him in disgust, falling deeply into the storm of emotions that wreaked havoc in her.

"And just to think that I wasted a year of my life with you..." She half-snorted, half-sniffled as she let the pain, that was too overwhelming, to seize her. Tears threatened to fall down out of her eyes and she blinked to release them. "Trying to fix you... How long did it take to her?"

He took it as a rhetorical question because without all the damage Ziva had caused to his heart, their relationship would have never blossomed into what it was now. They both needed to go through that pain to grow up. "For all it's worth, I've never meant to hurt you, Zoe."

"Well, congratulations! You failed." She snapped at him, her chin trembling and she wiped off some of the wetness on her face with her shaking hand. She turned her head away from him once again, trying to come to terms with everything she'd learned.

He let her for a couple of eternal seconds to suffer, simply because he had no idea what more to say. He knew that she wasn't fan of the cliché excuses and assurances, so he tried to eschew them as much as he could. "I know that you might not believe it but I'm truly s-" He eventually said after he couldn't take the silence anymore.

She silenced him with a single wave of her hand. "Shut up." She didn't need to hear any of this. As much as she hated him right now, she knew him long enough to know that he was sincere. He truly didn't mean to hurt her.

"Have you ever felt love for me?" She suddenly asked him, her expression letting him know that she wanted to hear the truth.

This topic, however, was one of those he rather preferred to avoid. "Zoe, I don't think it's going to cha-" He began trying to talk her out of wanting to know, but she kept insisting.

"Answer me, damn it!" She hit the surface of the table with her hand curled into a fist. She needed to know whether she'd ever had at least a slightest chance or it was all just one big unfortunate case of unrequited love.

"No." He answered truthfully, lowering his eyes because he couldn't stand seeing the tears falling down her cheeks. "But I thought I could."

With her fist in front of her mouth, she bit onto her finger to prevent herself from wailing, managing to let out a couple of sobs instead. She sensed that he desperately wanted to offer her some comfort but was too afraid that she would mistaken his compassion for affection. And he was right in his guesses because once he would touch her, she would try to beat a little bit of love out of him.

It was time to end this with dignity, if that was even possible. She took a few deep breaths to pull herself together and then she turned her head back to him. "Well, I guess we're over. You're free to go." She announced, her voice quivering and prayed for him to leave so she could break down.

He remained sitting, though, looking at her with sympathy. He knew very well what she was going through and he felt sorry for that he had caused such a mess. "If I can do anything..." He offered his support weakly, just out of desperation.

"Get. Out." She said through her clenched teeth, on the brink of complete collapse. Her body started to shake because it screamed for the relief but she wanted to keep her composure while he was still there.

With a resigned sigh, he stood up from the table, trying to make an eye contact with her but she didn't relent in her dull staring on the wall, cutting him dead. He hesitated for a couple of seconds, but then realized that it was of no use and turned on his heel to go on the corridor, remove his coat from the coat rack and put it on. She didn't make any attempt to stop him, all he heard were her sobs.

When he touched the doorknob, he realized that he wasn't quite ready to leave. There was still something he needed to say and so he turned around and went back into the kitchen. "I'll understand if you rightfully hate me for that for the rest of your life. I won't hold it against you." He told her, watching as she muttered something intelligible under her breath. "But trust me, I've never really meant to harm you."

He kept looking at her suddenly vulnerable form, huddling on the kitchen chair and cursed himself for being the reason for her pain. If he hadn't been so stupidly scared of his own loneliness, this would have never happened. "I hope that one day you will find someone who will appreciate you as you deserve. I'm sorry that it couldn't be me." He apologized and with one last look, he headed for the door.

"Goodbye, Zoe. Be well." He bid his farewell over his shoulder, stepping out of the apartment and closing the door behind him.

He stood there for barely a second, trying to absorb the break-up he'd just gone through, when he winced at the sound of the muffled slam against the door and then sound of smashing cup. He didn't have to think much to guess that she had thrown her cup of coffee in his direction, hitting the door. The cup in which his tea originally had been soon followed. He closed his eyes, pinched his nose and took a deep breath. And then he made a step towards a new future. Future that had included only him and the true love of his life.

* * *

When he arrived home it was already dark outside and the day was nearing towards night. He wasn't in a hurry, so he drove leisurely, still absorbing what he had just gone through. He would lie if he said that it hadn't shaken him to do core. Despite the relative peacefulness of the break-up, he couldn't deny that this pain could have been prevented if he had stood up to his fears.

Closing the car door behind him, he looked up into the windows where his lit apartment was and momentarily fought the seizing dread that Ziva wasn't there anymore. His legs felt heavy as he went up, gripping the keys in his fist and his heart was thumping erratically against his ribcage. He felt like in a dream, just walking through the corridor hazily, trying not to give in to the panic bubbling inside him.

With sweaty hands, he fumbled with the keys a couple of seconds and then stepped into the cosy apartment. Cosy was the right word because Ziva had apparently meant her words of making herself at home, displaying her stuff all over the free places she could find. And he couldn't be any happier with it because he could finally breathe freely, knowing that she was still with there with him.

"Ziva?" He called out because she wasn't anywhere to be seen, only her laptop stood on the table in the living room and played some indie music playlist.

She emerged from his bedroom with a smile on her face, dressed in dark purple sweatpants and a dark blue long-sleeved T-shirt. Her hair was up in an adorable messy bun as she had apparently struggled with hair constantly being on her face. Her face lit up when her eyes focused on him as if she had awaiting his arrival since the moment the door had closed behind him.

"So?" She prompted curiously because the expression on his face was completely neutral. The joy of seeing her, of making all his dreams coming true, had balanced out the stress he'd been in a few minutes ago.

"It's over." He breathed out in relief and smiled at her, having delight at the proud grin she sent him for fulfilling his promise to break up with Zoe.

She sensed that he was still pretty much in distress, though. She went over to him to look into his tired face, full of self-doubt. Considering that he had devoted his life to help people and make the world better by catching criminals, he simply hated to cause pain to anyone. She knew that feeling all too well. And she also knew of ways how to release that pain.

"It was..." He started to describe the unpleasant experience, thinking that she wanted to hear it but she put a finger on his mouth and shushed him.

To his surprise, she started to undo the buttons on his coat, taking it off him swiftly and throwing it over the couch. He couldn't utter a single word as she reached out her hand and beckoned him to take it in his. As he did so, she intertwined slowly their fingers and squeezed it warmly to let him know that he had her back and if he felt he needed any support, he could rely on her.

Then she turned around and led him to the bedroom, making him stop at the foot of his bed. He wasn't entirely sure where she meant to take this when she began to pull the sweater over his head, apparently stripping off his clothes piece by piece. His nostrils were suddenly invaded by a strange, but pleasant scent of vanilla, sandalwood and bourbon but as much as he tried, he couldn't find the source of it anywhere.

She proceeded to almost getting him naked as she pulled the T-shirt over his head, unzipped his trousers and pulled them over his ankles, taking off his socks, as well. He stood there in his white boxers, expecting her to drag him into the bed and make love to her all night, forgetting about everything and everyone. And despite his fatigue, he had nothing against it.

The surprise was her second name, apparently, because she took him by his hand again and led him away from the bed and towards the bathroom. Once she opened the door, he finally recognized the source of the scent – a bath soak. The whole bathroom was covered in a steam as the bath was filled with hot water and foam, ready to release the tension from everyone who would step in it.

She turned to him and smiled sweetly, pointing her finger at the bath. "Hop in." She ordered and smacked his ass to snap him out of his reverie.

He thanked her with a quick, yet deep and passionate kiss and immediately stripped himself off the boxers, slipping inside the bathtub and sighed in pleasure as the hot water enveloped his body. She stood there with a proud smile, studying his face that turned from distress into one of relaxation and satisfaction. And she wasn't done with him yet, she knew that she could intensify his pleasure.

"I'll be right back." She whispered in his ear, ruffling his hair as he hummed in acknowledgement and closed his eyes.

He could hear her somewhere in the distance but mostly, he was lulled into absentmindedness by the bath he was soaked in and the way it did miracles on his muscles. She apparently moved the laptop into his bedroom and let play a playlist full of relaxing music because it filled his ears in the next moment and he smiled in content. That woman really knew how to treat him to make him feel better.

"Scooch." Her voice instructed him and he bent his legs to make a space for her opposite of him. She clicked her tongue in disagreement, though, and patted his back to sign him that he should make a space for her behind him.

She slipped inside the bathtub, too, wrapping her slim female torso around the upper half of his body, as she leaned against the bathtub's surface with his back comfortably pressed on her chest and his head fell on her shoulder. When he wanted to open his eyes and look at her, she covered them with her hand to sign him that it wasn't the right time to do so, not yet.

He could feel that she reached for something next to her and when she ordered him to open his eyes, he saw a spoon in front of his mouth with a chocolate and cherry flavoured ice cream. He obediently opened his mouth and she stuffed the spoon inside, chuckling at the appreciative moan he let out as the warmth of the water and coldness of the ice cream perfectly blended together in his body.

"This is heaven." He murmured, turning his head slightly to kiss her on her neck gratefully.

"Well, you've taken me to heaven so I guess it's just right to return the favour." She replied and scooped another portion of the ice cream, rewarding herself for the brilliant idea.

He laughed out loud and nestled himself into her embrace, accepting the spoon with the ice cream. "But before that, we need to go through the purgatory." She reminded him and planted a kiss on the top of his head. "So tell me, how did it go?"

With a deep sigh, he started to recount his steps since he had left the apartment, through the break-up with Zoe and his steps back until his return. He spoke unhurriedly, making pauses when she offered him the ice cream, kissed him, massaged the stiffened parts of his body, caressed his chest, raked through his hair and just did things to him to make him more relaxed, more at ease.

Later that evening, Ziva sat on Tony's bed in the bedroom, wrapped up in her yellow terry cloth bathrobe, drying her hair with a towel. She followed Tony with her eyes as he pulled out his sleeping clothes while ordering pizza through the phone, for the time being dressed only in a towel around his hips. When he ended the call, he announced that the pizza should be there in a half-hour and put the phone away.

"I wanted to ask you something." She said quietly, smoothing the wet ends of her hair, noting that she should visit a hairdresser as soon as she could.

He finished his dressing and turned around to face her, her serious tone giving him a sign that she wanted to talk about important things. "Whatever you wish to know, Miss David." He replied with a smile, leaning against the closet.

"What's next for us?" She asked him with a deep sigh, her eyes searching for the answer in his face. "Where do we go from here?"

Internally, he congratulated himself for guessing right her questions. He knew that she meant their closest future because their long-term future had already been decided. She would study on the University of Maryland and they would be together. Their closest future, however, was full of return to familiar places and meeting with old friends and trying to make them understand why the past decision had had to be made.

"Well, I have to go to work tomorrow." He answered and went over to her, sitting down next to her and taking her by her hand. "And I would appreciate if you went with me."

She stared ahead of her and took a deep breath, knowing that this request would come. What bothered her was her own readiness on this step. She had no doubt that she would deal with whatever was about to happen, but things were moving far too fast for her liking. She was back on the US soil for a couple of hours and hadn't been on a firm ground, yet.

"I know and completely understand that it's too soon for you." He said as if he was reading her thoughts, squeezing her hand for support. "But the longer you're here, the greater the risk is. They might meet you on the street, see you from the distance, they might see right through my lies I'd be telling them."

She only nodded, still staring absent-mindedly on the invisible point in front of her. She knew that he was right, though, and she agreed with him. He was a terrific liar when he wanted to, but he had no reason to hide his relationship with her. And if she didn't want anyone to know about her presence, it meant being locked up in this apartment, not going outside and enjoy the winter in D.C. she had actually missed.

"That's not what I want, Ziva. I don't want it to be too late to tell when the time comes." He went on, making circles on her palm with his thumb. "And if you're not ready to deal with everyone at once, then we'll just announce you're back and you'll talk to them when you're ready."

She looked up at him in astonishment, but her hopes faltered immediately as she realized with whom she had the honour to deal with. Abby wouldn't wait, she was sure of that. And she couldn't wait when it came to Gibbs because she needed urgently talk to him and knock some sense into him. As Tony's legitimate girlfriend, she had the right to tell Gibbs what she thought about the way he had treated Tony.

"No, that's not what I want." She assured him and turned aside to face him. "We'll face the imminent clash together and as soon as we can. So, tomorrow it is then."

He smiled at her proudly and embraced her, laying her head on his chest as he slowly raked her wet hair with his fingers. "You'll see it'll be fine. All is going to be just fine." He whispered and rubbed her shoulders soothingly. He just wished that the power of his words matched the actual reality because she wasn't the only one dreading the tomorrow's events.

" _I dread the events of the future, not in themselves but in their results." – Edgar Allan Poe_

_**The End of Chapter 23** _

* * *

*1 CZ 75 – pistol made by Česká zbrojovka Uherský Brod. It has both semi-automatic and selective fire variants. It's the most common gun in the Czech Republic and used world-wide by armed and police forces, such as Hellenic Police in Greece, Shin Bet in Israel, law enforcement in Russia, and several police departments in the United States, including Delta Force.

*2 Semtex – general-purposed plastic explosive developed and manufactured in Czechoslovakia (now Czech Republic) in 1964. It's used in commercial blasting, demolition and in certain military applications. Unfortunately, it became popular among terrorist groups due to the extreme difficulty to detect it. It was used by North Vietnam in the Vietnam War, Islamic militants in the Middle East and IRA. It was infamously used by Libyans at the Lockerbie bombing when transatlantic flight Pan Am Flight 103 on December 21st 1988 from Frankfurt to Detroit via London and New York was destroyed by a Semtex bomb, killing all 243 passengers and 16 crew members, including 11 people on the ground as the aircraft crashed onto residential areas.


	24. Chapter 24

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 24** _

Ziva wriggled her body as carefully as she could, trying to get into some more comfortable position. Tony, with his back leaning against the headboard of the bed and propped up by the pillows, just observed her with a smile. At last, she finally nestled in a way her back wasn't screaming at her that she should shift, gluing herself to Tony's right side and he welcomed her under the embrace of his right hand.

"This bed is too small for two people." She complained, puffing after the exhausting effort of trying to sit herself up a bit without falling on the floor. She reached for the glass of orange juice on the bed tray that even more restricted her movement, but since Tony had brought her breakfast to the bed, she didn't complain about this particular obstacle.

"Always look at the bright side." Tony declared, crunching the chocolate chip biscuit between his teeth. "We fit in under one bed tray and the closeness of our bodies is as tight as in a train of gears."

He tightened the right arm around her, forcing the upper part of her body on his chest so he could kiss the top of her head. She turned sideways so she could look up at him, intertwining their legs so she could get the appropriate support for doing so. The bed tray dangerously but slightly lifted up in the air, yet everything remained in its position. Calmly, he reached for another biscuit and sunk his teeth into the crunchy deliciousness.

"I don't mind that, of course." She explained her opinion to him, brushing off the biscuit crumbs out of the corner of his mouth. "I'm just saying, my dear stallion, that for practicing certain sensual delights and reaching the fruition of our relationship, we'll need more space."

She looked deeply into his eyes and stretched out her neck as much as she could so she could kiss him. He answered to that call naturally as he opened his mouth for her and let her to direct the pace of the lip-lock. According to her appreciative humming, she really liked the chocolate flavour. And he loved the orange one in hers because it felt fresh and fruity, and she was embodiment of these tastes.

"Okay, I'll buy a new bed." He gave in, his imagination running wild when thinking about all the 'sensual delights' they could practice in a larger bed.

"We." She corrected him, snuggling back next to him, reaching for a chocolate chip biscuit herself because she suddenly craved something heavenly sweet.

Tony laughed softly, running his fingers lazily over the skin of her right arm. "You'll choose and I'll pay?" He asked teasingly as she took the cup of warm latte he made for her into her hands.

"I'm glad you understand how it works." She replied, scooping the whipped cream topped by cinnamon onto her finger and tasting it, before she took a sip from the delicious coffee.

He took the bed tray and put it down on the floor which made Ziva relax her body as she finally had enough space in the bed to do so. He then turned back to her, rolling on his side and propping his head against his elbow. For a while, he just watched as she closed her eyes in delight while drinking the caffeine beverage and then he sneaked his hand below the sheets, beneath her pyjama T-shirt and started to caress her stomach.

She fluttered her eyes open and looked into his, feeling warmth spreading through her and not thanks to the coffee. The absolute devotion, the divine adoration, the profound love in his eyes that reflected in his caresses were the things that made her feel giddy. She'd never believed that being with him could feel so good, so magical, so intoxicating. It was worth everything she'd ever been through.

She recalled their yesterday's evening after the pizza had arrived as they had sat in the living room with the crackling fireplace and just watched a movie in the embrace of one another. The moment had been one of the most peaceful ones she'd ever experienced. She hadn't had a similar feeling in Prague or Tel Aviv with him, simply because they had still been in the process of moving. Now, when she was finally settled in his apartment, she sensed that things had gained a new level of significance.

"Are you ready?" He asked her, holding her gaze as he traced slowly his fingers over the hem of her panties

If it was under any other circumstance she would think that he was asking her about a completely different thing, if she considered the movements of his hand. But the fact that it was Monday morning and they should be on their way to the Navy Yard in an hour or so, as well as the seriousness of his tone, signed to her that his question was directed to her mental state of facing her former colleagues, rather than if she was ready for some naughty moments.

She shook her head in dismissal, looking over his head onto some invisible point on the door. "No. But I don't think I'll ever be." She shrugged and looked back at him, reaching out her hand to his face so she could caress it with the back of her fingers. "It just needs to be done. Let's take it as it comes."

He nodded in agreement and bent down to kiss her bellybutton to which she reacted with a giggle as she raked his smooth hair. If the world didn't force them to get out of the bed and face the reality, she'd just love to be in the bed with him all day. But like that, she just accepted that he got up from the bed and finished his morning routine while she lazily followed him to make herself presentable.

* * *

She was astonished by her calmness as they sat in the car and Tony weaved their way through the streets of Washington D.C. in the morning. She just kept staring out of window, playing with her hair and let the winter sun to caress her face. She rather observed people on the streets than memorizing lines she wanted to say to her friends because she knew that she would forget them, anyway.

Let things drift. Give them a free flow. That was what she considered as the best strategy. After all she hadn't been prepared for meeting Tony in Prague, and yet she'd been doing pretty well. Of course, she had certain things in plan to say, but overall, she couldn't exactly design the whole conversation and insist on it. She needed to be prepared for improvisation.

However, when they stepped out of the car, she felt her stomach churn. She closed her eyes firmly, cursing herself under her breath and reproaching herself. It was just a stupid groundless anxiety. No matter how this meeting would end, she was determined to be stay with the man she loved. She still could carry on with her life, with her boyfriend, with her studies and find new friends if needed.

She relaxed, though, when he came to stand close to her behind her back, putting his arms on her shoulders. His mere presence right next to her could do miracles with her self-assurance. She stuck out her chin, took a deep breath and waved her hand at him to show that she was okay and he could step away from her. He did so, yet reluctantly and that sparked her attention.

She turned around and realized that he was stressed out equally as her. His eyes roved all over, a distinctive line between his eyebrows appeared as he was scratching his head nervously. Reaching with her hand into his hair, she weaved it carefully and thoroughly, making him purr in delight and setting waves of warmth across his body. With a bold smile, he took her by her hand and nodded to the main entrance.

They decisively started their way there, each step feeling heavier and heavier for some reason. Suddenly, she tugged at his hand, seizing his step. "Tony..." She addressed him, not really sure what was behind her actions.

"Yes?" He turned to her, his determination not wavering unlike hers.

She was looking into his beautiful, hopeful eyes and felt an instant surge of confidence coming through her as if his gaze was some kind of battery charger. It reached the farthest corners of her body, tingling all the way through and tickling the nerve endings. "Whatever happens..." She started, having the words on her tongue for quite a while. Yet, under the new flood of confidence, they got stuck inside her throat and she had no idea how to finish the sentence.

"Whatever happens." Tony concluded, squeezing her hand firmly.

* * *

Tony took a long deep breath and slowly let the air out in an attempt to ease the increasing anxiety in his chest. He moved his mouth silently as an actor before a theatre performance to flex his face muscles. He had to get rid of that enamoured look in his face and put on some neutral expression to avoid immediate questions from his dear colleagues.

He was currently standing in the elevator on his way up to his floor. Leaving Ziva on the staircase was a bold, yet necessary move. He didn't want her to be exposed to the gazes and questions of everyone from the very first second. So they opted for something else. After obtaining the visitor's card for her, they went on the staircase where Ziva was supposed to wait until Tony would come for her and let her know that she could come in.

He hated to leave her there as he dreaded the moment he would open the door and she wouldn't be there. But he couldn't let his mind to wander off such a direction, he had to trust her. So he rather focused his mind on all the information he wanted to talk about with his colleagues first, before introducing them Ziva as his new girlfriend. He was about to drop a bombshell with uncertain results.

The elevator dinged and he stepped out of it, closing his eyes momentarily to soak the orange walls back into his veins. He was in a different mental state now, as opposed to the one when he'd left this office a week ago. He felt the need to internally apologize for all those vulgarisms he had directed at this building in his fits of anger and desperation. Especially because he loved his job and it wasn't directly responsible for any of his problems.

As he headed towards his desk, he noticed Ellie, Abby and Tim in a busy conversation at Tim's desk with their backs turned on him. He cocked his ears to overhear some of the lively, yet hushed talk among his colleagues. Without a hurry and as silently as he could, he sat down to his desk, turn on the computer and put the bag with Christmas presents down on the floor.

"Good morning, my Christmas elves. What's the gossip of the day?" He asked them casually, but loudly enough to get through the noise of their discussion that, of course, concerned him.

He had to chuckle as Bishop started up like a jack-in-the-box, turning swiftly around to face him. "Tony!" She squeaked in horror, clasping her hand over her mouth because even she had to admit that the tone of her voice was weird.

Tim winced for the second time upon hearing Bishop's squeak, rubbing his knee that suffered some damage as he hit the desk's surface from below. He looked over at Tony reproachfully but then smiled at him, relieved that his friend was alive and apparently well. Tony had saved him as Abby and Ellie had tried to force him into confession what he knew about Tony's escape to Europe.

The only one who stayed somewhat cool was Abby. She'd gone pale a bit because she hadn't expected him to spook them out like that. But then she narrowed her eyes so she could measure him up and down and assess his well-being. "Are you okay, Tony?" She asked him after a moment of silence when she tried to get through the wall of neutrality that Tony had managed to built around him.

"Yes, I am. Thank you very much for your lovely concern, Abby." He smiled at her warmly as he stretched his arms towards the ceiling. "I'm actually more than okay. Finally emotionally balanced to some degree and feeling refreshed."

Abby remained standing at his desk with suspicious look on her face, not impressed with his answer. She either didn't believe him or she naturally wondered what had caused his sudden change. Tim chose to remain silent because although he'd received some information from Tony, this good mood wasn't what Tim had expected to see. And he hadn't revealed to anyone what Tony had been about to do with his relationship with Zoe.

"Your Christmas getaway served its purpose then?" Bishop asked him in her normal voice, seating herself on her place at her desk, reaching into her bag of Cheetos and sticking the delicious snack into her mouth.

"Indeed it did, Ellie. Absolutely miraculously." He nodded and flashed her one of his best smiles, ignoring the inquiring gaze Abby sent him.

"Which leads me to... I owe an apology to each of you." He suddenly turned serious and leaned his hands against his desk, looking over at all three. "I know it was hard to put up with me and my moods lately. I know that I'm not easy to deal with in general but the past few weeks, I was just being a jerk."

Seeing their sympathetic smiles, he had enough courage to continue cheerfully. "So I swear that I didn't mean to hurt you with anything I said or did to you. And I really appreciate all the support you've given me. You're incredible."

"Not a big deal, Tony. We all have our days." McGee replied for all of them. They knew that he had been going through a very hard phase in his life and all because of Gibbs. They couldn't overlook how the relationship of those two had twisted into something odd. They had done their best to support both and not to side with anyone.

Tony nodded gratefully at McGee with a smile. "Thanks for understanding, Tim." The answer had more than just thanks in it. It was also a thank you for being his friend for so long, for keeping his location secret in the last week and simply for doing everything for him.

It seemed like a perfect ending to one terrible era but the curiosity hang in the air. They _craved_ to know what he had been up to and how it had put him into his good mood. Oh, he could play them like a fiddle, that was for certain. And how else he could show them that the old Tony was (at least partially) back than by teasing them? "So, how was your Christmas?" He asked, feigning his genuine curiosity and acting as if he had nothing to talk about.

"Wow, wow, wow! Stop right there, Tony! We're not done with you." Abby raised her hand and her characteristic pigtails swung in the air in the rhythm of her shaking head. "Where were you for the whole week?"

"Exactly! Your Christmas was surely more eventful than ours." Bishop joined her and leaned in eagerly, her eyes shining with curiosity. "So where did you go? London? Paris?"

Tony felt the pang in his heart when Paris was mentioned and immediately cursed himself for it. There was no need for him to feel nostalgic anymore. He was no longer running away from his memories. "I was in Prague." He replied calmly while McGee did his best to look as surprised as his two female colleagues.

"Prague?" Both Abby and Bishop asked him to be sure in unison. While Bishop wagered more on London, Abby was sure about Paris. Prague was one of the last places they had expected Tony to go.

Tony smiled widely and relaxed. He was really satisfied with himself that no one had guessed his location "Yup, Prague. I wanted some city I didn't visit ever before so I could create new memories." He explained and simpered because those memories he had created there were worth of everything. The corners of his mouth hurt but he just couldn't wipe that smile off his face. "I walked a lot, learned a lot about history, did a lot of thinking... One of the best getaways I've ever had."

"Did Zoe go with you?" Abby asked him because his memories apparently were very affectionate. That affectionate that it seemed that he shared them with someone. His grin was infected with love, she could tell that. She hoped that those two had rekindled their passion because it had significantly decreased recently.

Tony shook his head to answer in the negative. "No, she didn't. She spent Christmas with her family." His smile faltered slightly but it still remained carved in his face. Their interrogation had built the right imaginary bridges for him to give him the chance to tell them all the new important news. "And I guess this is the right place for another announcement... Zoe and I... We broke up yesterday."

"Oh no, Tony! I'm so sorry!" Bishop exclaimed and forgot to stuff some Cheetos into her mouth in shock. Not that the information was so unexpected but she still hoped that they could work things out.

"Don't be, Ellie." He dismissed all the words of compassion with a single wave of his hand. "We headed towards it for quite a while, it was just a question of time. I think it's best for us to go our separate ways."

"Still, it's a shame." Abby commented it gloomily and looked at McGee who shrugged his shoulders innocently, trying to look as if he had no idea about the news until now. He wasn't convincing enough, apparently, judging by the accusing squint of Abby's eyes.

"Something else is different, though." He jumped out of his chair to decoy away the attention from him back to Tony. "You seem to be too... okay with all of that. I would say you actually _glow_."

Tony was way too amused to give him clear answer to the question between the lines. "What do you mean by that, Tim?" He asked innocently, not feeling a bit intimated by the towering figures of Abby and McGee at his desk.

"Since you've come here, you haven't McNicknamed me. You're calling all of us by our first names. You brought us Christmas presents." McGee enumerated everything he'd noticed so far, pointing at the bag with Christmas presents on the floor. For the last two years, Tony had always forgotten to bring the gifts with him. "You're being nice."

Abby ardently nodded her head in agreement while Bishop expressed the same feeling with a couple of muttered words. They didn't expect Tony to be devastated, but his mood was really too good in view of the fact that he had just broken up with a woman with whom he'd spent a year of his life. Not even a getaway to Prague could ever fix him so significantly.

"And I can think only about one reason why you're like that." McGee continued and levelled Tony with stern, inquisitive gaze. "You've fallen for someone."

Tony simpered and gave the invisible point somewhere in the distance a long look as the love he felt kept rushing through his veins, embedding in the very core of his nerve ends. His cheeks flushed as the blood surged into his head, making him feel momentarily dizzy. He _giggled_ which was a sound none of his colleagues was used to and so they stared at him in stunning silence.

"Good job, McObserver." Tony acknowledged the observation McGee had apparently conducted and awarded him with a McNickname since he'd apparently missed it so much. He didn't hesitate to confirm Tim's speculations. "I guess it's quite hard to hide that. The truth is that, yes, I've met someone in Prague."

"Tony!" Abby exclaimed, appalled that he would be able to cheat on Zoe and then just break up with her to be with another woman. That wasn't the Tony she knew and it defied everything Tony was.

"Don't worry, Abby. It wasn't the main reason why I broke up with Zoe." Tony immediately rushed to calm her down, holding his hand up in a conciliatory manner. "Like I said, we were afoot from it anyway. This just sped things up."

"Please, tell me that you didn't buy some Eastern European mail-order bride." McGee pleaded him, pinching the bridge of his nose wearily. He sensed that something had been different with Tony when they had spoken through the occasional phone calls. But he'd never guessed that a new woman could have been behind this. And the fact that Tony had withheld this from him testified about something.

Tony burst out laughing when he saw their serious faces. "This isn't 'Birthday Girl'*1 movie, my dear Tim. She's no mail-order bride." He assured him and McGee looked more than relieved which made Tony snicker in amusement. "Although, she's of Eastern origin. Middle Eastern, to be exact."

McGee snapped his head at him, suddenly feeling uneasy. He looked over at Bishop who had no clue what Tony had been talking about and then at Abby who still kept staring at Tony as if she wanted to condemn him for his deeds. It seemed that he'd been the only one to register the words 'Middle Eastern origin' and the wink Tony had given him right after they had left his mouth.

He thought that he might pass out because he couldn't deny that it fitted in. Tony's good mood, the glowing happiness, break up with Zoe, a new woman in his life, _Middle Eastern origin_... It all screamed with the name of their former colleague. The only one who could challenge Tony in a way no one else could. Whose return would make Tony unimaginably happy. Who could make Tony to break up with Zoe sooner than he had intended because she would return his feelings. Who would appear as a new woman in his life because their relationship would finally take the turn it should have years ago. And who, undoubtedly, was of Middle Eastern origin. _Ziva._

"I actually think that this is a wonderful cue for me to introduce her to you." Tony jumped out of his chair and walked around his desk, making Abby and McGee to back away.

"Wait, she's here?" Abby marvelled at Tony's guts that bordered with impertinence heatedly. "He knows her for barely a week and he already brings her here?"

McGee didn't answer and only followed wordlessly Tony's steps towards the emergency exit with his eyes. His suspicion was growing but he didn't say anything for the time being. Bishop shrugged her shoulders and remained silent, too. Abby sighed and folded her arms over her chest, hoping that Tony knew what he was doing. She just wanted him to be happy but she felt like he rushed things at the moment.

Tony was too excited to even think about his fear that Ziva wouldn't be waiting for him on the staircase. Everything had been perfect so far. They played right into his hands and he just discarded one card after the other, dealing with everything he needed to tell them. He couldn't wish for any better introduction to introduce Ziva to them as his girlfriend.

He found her sitting on the staircase with a cell phone in her hands, trying to distract herself by texting to Terri. He needed to hug that woman even more because she apparently kept Ziva distracted enough to be just slightly unsettled. "It's time." He uttered into the silence of the emergency staircase that was so rarely used by anyone.

She looked up at him, nervousness filling her eyes and she gulped the invisible lump in her throat. Turning back to her phone, she texted Terri that she had to go and would talk to her later, smiling at the set of encouraging words she received in an instant. Then she put her phone back into her handbag and accepted Tony's hand to let herself to be pulled up back on her feet.

She raked her curly hair in an attempt to slick it but to no avail. "How do I look?" She asked him helplessly, knowing that the first impression wasn't important in this case and yet she felt the need to make a good one.

He chuckled quietly, for a moment pondering to play the part of Uma Thurman's Beatrix Kiddo in Kill Bill Volume 2 and answer to her that she looked ready just as Beatrix replied that to Bill's question of the same wording, but this wasn't the right moment and place to start quoting movies. He still had to keep in mind that she was trained by Mossad and she could kill him.

He took her by both of her hands and opened them, cradling them gently in his. "Gorgeous, as always." He assured her and landed a kiss on the top of her head as she closed her eyes to savour it.

She would love to stay in his embrace forever but knew that it wasn't possible. So when he tugged at her hand to lead her out so she could get used to seeing the orange walls again, she obediently followed. Her pace was slow and careful as her legs felt heavy but her willpower was stronger. Not to mention that the squeeze of his hand, just the simple knowledge that he was touching her, filled her in with an intense confidence.

She had to seize her step for a single while, though, right before they walked into bullpen. The knots of anxiety in her stomach weren't easing up and she momentarily gave into them. She squeezed his hand hard and he turned to her, laying his free hand on her back to rub it soothingly. But just as quickly she broke down, she raised her head up again, took a deep breath and nodded at him.

They rounded around the corner and walked into the bullpen. He carried himself through it proudly because he had something to brag about, after all. Ziva followed him, sending reserved smile to anyone who registered her. It didn't take long enough for other agents to be aware of her presence as they started to whisper to each other, nudge one another and nodding their heads at her.

None of their reactions could match to those of McGee and Abby, though. Tim, who kept his eyes focused on the place where Tony had disappeared, bulged his eyes out and gasped in surprise while the vertigo almost made him faint. This was unbelievable and incredible and there were no words to describe what thoughts flashed through his mind in a single second.

She was back. The woman he'd always seen as his sister was back and she looked different, yet the same in the same time. Her face was no longer careworn as, despite the anxiety surfacing here and then, her expression was radiant. She looked awfully content next to the man he'd always seen as his brother and he was equally content next to her. It was indubitable evidence of what Tony had claimed. They were a couple.

Abby exhausted all her reactions in opening her eyes wide as if she'd seen a ghost and her mouth formed an o-shape. She could have been prepared for many things but she certainly hadn't been ready for this. She didn't know whether to feel happy as it meant that she had her friend back, or indecisive because her friend could leave again in any minute. Whether to feel glad that Tony and Ziva had finally found their way towards each other, or mistrustful because she could break his heart for one more time.

She honestly had no clue how to react, what to do or say. She was torn between being hurt by Ziva's departure and all the circumstances around it, and love for her dear friend and the joy connected to her return. Thousand times she imagined what she would tell her but when the moment came, she couldn't find any words. And so, she just indecisively stood there, stunned and puzzled.

Bishop kept emptying the bag of Cheetos as her eyes travelled from one pair to another as if she was watching a tennis game. She had no idea what this whole thing was about but the tense atmosphere could be cut with a knife and the chatter behind her signed already about something juicy. Besides, she had the feeling that she'd seen the unfamiliar woman somewhere.

"Hey." Ziva managed to utter unsurely. Such a greeting was strange coming from her but she couldn't think of anything else at the moment.

The expression of pure shock on McGee's face turned into a candid, cheerful smile. "Ziva!" He exclaimed and literally ran to her, even though she stood like two steps away from him.

Tony let go of her hand and moved back to give the space to the hugging duo as Tim wrapped his arms around Ziva tightly and she did the same. "I missed you so much, McGee." Ziva confessed wistfully, her eyes closed as she revelled in the hug of her friend.

"The feeling's mutual." Tim whispered and looked up at beaming Tony. He slightly shook his head to sign him that the teasing wasn't nice but it was well damn worth it. Tony winked back at him, giving a sigh of relief that at least one person welcomed Ziva back with open arms.

When Tim stepped away from Ziva, he slightly raked her hair and smiled at her widely. "Welcome back." He said and flickered his eyes between her and Tony. Silent understanding passed among the three of them as Tim understood that Ziva returned to be with Tony, and not to take her job back. And that was how it should be, after all.

"Thank you." Ziva expressed her thanks and caressed his cheek lightly, not only as her gesture of gratitude, but also to assess how Delilah took care of him.

Her gaze then fell upon Abby who was nervously cracking her knuckles in attempt to relieve the stress she'd been going through. Her eyes studied her intently as if she was judging whether she could trust Ziva or not and Ziva bravely kept returning her the stare, not even once lowering her eyes. They looked as two transmission towers exchanging a secret code between them.

Then Abby took a step forward and reluctantly put her arms around Ziva who accepted it awkwardly. Their hug soon became warmer, though, as the arms tightened around each other and they both chose to focus on the positive side of things. Ziva couldn't but recall a similar scene from a couple of years ago when she'd been rescued from Somalia and Abby had rightfully yelled at her in the lab. It made her wonder why Abby hadn't yelled at her at the moment, as well, but she guessed that the yelling still could come.

"Sorry that I haven't prepared a welcome banner this time." Abby whispered regretfully as she hadn't expected any of this and Ziva laughed softly in response, the tears of both joy and remorse streaming down her face. She loved that they both were reminiscing about the same moment from their past.

When they let go of each other after a couple of seconds, Abby straightened her lab coat and pointed her fingers at Ziva. "Doesn't mean things are fine. Because they're not." She warned her with a multiple gestures and watched as Ziva nodded in resigned acknowledgment. "We still have much to talk about."

Ziva wiped away the tears from her face and nodded once more. "I know, Abby. And if you let me to explain, I'll gladly tell you everything you want to know." She sent her another imploring gaze and Abby's pigtails started to move up and down as Abby was giving her affirmation.

In the meantime, Ellie had managed to understand at least the basics of the big deal being played out in front of her eyes. When she'd heard the unfamiliar woman's name coming out of McGee's mouth, she instantly knew who the woman was. Although she'd known just fragmentary information about her as many people were tight-lipped, she had had her ways how to find more. After all, she had used to be NSA.

The woman was indisputably important for the team and especially for Tony as she judged both from his previous refusal to talk about her and his current state of bliss just by standing next to her. She was also highly regarded agent, being trained by Mossad and having countless experiences all over the world in whole range of operations and activities.

What unnerved Ellie, though, was her presence back here in this very building. She wondered if Ziva was also back to regain her place in the team which would mean that Ellie would have to either leave the team and get transferred or maybe leave NCIS entirely and she didn't desire that. Her job in NSA had been interesting enough, but her dream had always been to work for NCIS and she could barely imagine giving it up for any other reason than pregnancy. And even this specific reason was quite unclear considering the state of her marriage that suffered because of countless arguments.

She stood up from her desk when Ziva turned to her, letting her eyes roaming over the desk she had used to sit at. "You must be Ellie Bishop, right? I'm Ziva David." Ziva addressed to the blonde woman in front of her, smiling at her warmly. "Tony told me a couple of things about you."

Ellie accepted the outstretched hand unsurely. She didn't want to be nice to someone who might be here to steal her place from her, but on the other hand she still had no concrete reason to assume such a thing. "Nice to finally meet you, Ziva." She said and rolled her eyes at Tony. "I just hope that whatever he told you was the truth."

"I actually think he exaggerated in some things, like your appetite, but all his words about you were positive." Ziva noted, flashing her eyes at the bag of Cheetos with a frown while Tony chuckled behind her back.

Everyone laughed and even Ellie stopped being so vigilant. "Really? Well, I'm afraid that he was right about my appetite." She said and sat back down to her chair, finishing off the bag of Cheetos, crumpling it and throwing it into a bin.

Ziva passed the manifestation of her appetite in silence and with an amused smile. McGee used the moment to take charge of the conversation and find out how it was possible that Tony and Ziva were together back here as a couple. They had met in Prague, that was all he knew. He didn't need to know _all_ the details, but the essential ones would help him to get the notion.

"You two better should start talking. How did this happen?" He questioned them, pointing between them to indicate that he was especially curious about the fact that after so many years, they had finally found their way to each other.

"Oh well..." Tony began to retell their story with a grin.

* * *

The elevator dinged and Leon Vance stepped into the bullpen with a Christmas carol on his lips. Kayla and Jared had started to attend a children's choir and they kept singing for him at home to polish up on their performance that had been last week. He had swelled with pride during the concert as their father and assured them that their mother would have been delighted with them just as much.

By any means, this Christmas had been wonderful. After Jackie's death, he hadn't believed that he could keep living as he had used to. But to his own surprise, he had managed to live his life with his children in somewhat normal way. Sure, without the help of other family members it would never be attainable. But things seemed way more optimistic now than they had before.

As he strutted towards his office with a smile, he couldn't overlook the small group of NCIS personnel at the place where Team Gibbs had their desks. From what he assessed, Tony DiNozzo was sitting at his desk with a woman on his lap and both were facing away from him. He enthusiastically told some story to Bishop, McGee and Abby, while some other agents from other teams stopped by from time to time, too, to know what the story was about.

Vance halted right behind Tony and the woman on his lap who certainly wasn't Zoe Keates with whom DiNozzo was supposed to be in a relationship, at least to Vance's knowledge. "Agent DiNozzo, just because you exceptionally came to work earlier than me, doesn't mean that you can organize a tea party in the office." He reprimanded the younger agent in a bossy manner.

Startled Tony immediately jumped out of his chair, forcing Ziva on his lap to do the same and then they both simultaneously turned around to face Vance. McGee swallowed his chuckle with difficulty, but couldn't hide his amusement. Visibly more relaxed Abby nodded at Vance in greetings and leisurely leaned against Tim's desk. Bishop tried to look like that she wasn't present at all and started to type something on her computer while the other agents rather went to do their work, as well.

Vance's eyes widened in surprise when he recognized the woman in front of him and his smile couldn't be more telling. "Now, that's a sight for sore eyes." He commented her presence, making Ziva blush. "It's a pleasure to see you walk through these corridors again, Miss David."

Ziva went over to him, reaching out her hand and Vance accepted it with a friendly squeeze. "And it's a pleasure to see you again, Director Vance." She returned the greeting, most of her anxiety gone as more and more people were happy to see her, instead of telling her to get lost and never return.

"Always Leon for you." He corrected her, noticing the content that radiated out of her which pleased him immensely. She deserved to be happy.

"Leon, then." Ziva corrected herself and smiled warmly.

With a couple of steps, Tony dashed in by her side, wrapping his arms around her to sign everyone in sight that this woman was his and they could only deal with it. "Belated Merry Christmas, Director!" He exclaimed cheerfully, beaming with a thousand-watt smile.

"Merry Christmas to you, too, agent DiNozzo." Vance returned him the wish, surprised by the change in him, considering that just a week ago, he seemed to be but a shadow of his former self. "I guess you got a gift of your lifetime this year?"

"Indeed I did, sir." Tony confirmed so with an enthusiastic nod of his head, drawing Ziva closer to him who smiled at his possessiveness and leaned her back against his chest comfortably.

"I won't have to deal with ATF because of this, will I?" Vance expressed his concern about his relationship status and hoped that Tony wasn't stupid enough to hide his girlfriend from his current girlfriend.

"No need to worry, sir. That's already been worked out." Tony assured him and Ziva calmly caressed his hands to help him to ease up the tension. "You might expect a call from Mossad, though."

Vance chuckled and straightened up his jacket to keep his neat look. "Excellent. It's always my pleasure to have a chat with our Israeli allies." He replied with a wink at Ziva who smiled at him in return.

He looked at them as a couple and fought the urge to usher them to the jewellery shop, make them to choose wedding bands and drive them to get married as soon as possible. This should have happened way long ago. "I have to say that I haven't been so thrilled for someone like I am for you two now." He mused aloud and they both appreciated his amiability with a nod. "Ziva, could you spare a couple of minutes for me today once you're done here?"

Ziva expected a similar question, knowing that Vance wanted to discuss in private whether she was interested in a position in NCIS or not, and she appreciated his discretion. "Of course, Leon. I'll meet you in your office as soon as I can." She answered and Vance appreciated it with a smile.

His eyes then focused intensively on something behind the heads of the couple but as soon as he looked there, he immediately looked back. "Well, I wish you all a nice day." He bid his farewell and returned back on his route up to his office.

Ziva took a deep breath and very slowly released it as Tony kissed the top of her head. "You did well." He whispered into her hair softly but he had to admit that his heart had lost a beat for a couple of seconds when Vance had started to talk.

She turned around in his arms, palmed his head across his ears and planted a chaste kiss on his lips in gratitude. His closeness really meant everything to her because she could never reach the level of confidence without him being by her side, constantly assuring her by the simplest of touches she could ever imagine. She could also feel that he was like that only with her.

They let go of each other, having the intention to continue in their story but as they stepped away from one another, a new surprise was already waiting for them. The inquiring, piercing blue eyes of a silver-haired man were staring right back at them searchingly. Tony finally understood why no one from the team had said a word and why Vance had diverted his eyes for a fleeting moment.

"Gibbs." Ziva greeted him bravely, although her heart was trying to jump out of her chest as it was erratically beating against her ribcage.

"Ziver." Gibbs returned the greetings with a nod, his eyes still watching her closely without a blink.

" _The eye, like a shattered mirror, multiples the images of sorrow." – Edgar Allan Poe_

Tony, suddenly uncharacteristically timid, didn't manage to utter a single word as he just kept standing there. He certainly didn't have enough strength to react in fear to cause an argument. He just observed the staring contest between his boss and his girlfriend in silence, although he didn't move an inch from the woman of his life. He could be in a personal war with his surrogate father but he didn't dare to betray _her_ by running away when she needed him the most.

Ziva felt the loss of Tony's confidence but his mere presence was enough for her to gather enough courage and strength. It was like if Tony willingly transferred all of his energy into her. "I think we should talk. In privacy." She offered to Gibbs with an expression of a poker player.

Gibbs nodded silently in agreement and stepped aside to let Ziva pass as he gestured with the hand in which he held the cup of coffee to make her do so. She reached back and squeezed Tony's hand to assure him that she could handle this alone and sign him that he shouldn't interfere. Tony obeyed and squeezed her hand back, avoiding any possible eye contact with Gibbs.

The rest of the team remained silent, as well, letting the drama being played out on its own. They recognized Gibbs' right to be a little bit hostile to Ziva, while they understood Ziva's careful stance towards him because she indisputably knew how Gibbs had treated Tony in the last couple of months. When the duo disappeared around the corner, they could only pray that whatever was about to be said, would bring some clearing of the tensed air.

_**The End of Chapter 24** _

* * *

*1 Birthday Girl – 2001 British movie directed by Jez Butterworth, starring Nicole Kidman, Ben Chaplin, Mathieu Kassovitz and Vincent Cassel. It's about bank clerk named John Buckingham who orders a Russian mail-order bride.


	25. Chapter 25

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 25** _

Ziva sat in the conference room of the NCIS building where she'd sat so many times before, interviewing family members and friends of the victims, victims themselves, or agents of other agencies, clutching the plastic cup that she had filled with water from the water cooler. It felt strange to be the guest here and not the one in charge, but she didn't feel intimidated or awkward.

Gibbs, who sat opposite of her, didn't exactly radiate the "bossy" waves as she had used to perceive it. Although his expression was a poker face one, she could see right through it and all because she had had a vast experience of what feelings were raging through him. He was broken but tried to hide it. He was hurting but tried to conceal it. He couldn't stand his inability to adequately react on the fact the world was changing around him but chose wrong ways how to deal with it.

She saw how hard he had to try to keep his mask of Doctor Jekyll on because to reveal what was happening inside him would take him right to the nervous breakdown and he could never live with a simple notion of such a thing. She hated to do it but she also needed to see the other side of his personality, the Mr. Hyde persona Tony had mentioned on several occasions. That was why she had offered him to have a chat.

The silence between them was charged with any emotions and Ziva knew very well that he wouldn't say a word until she would. He had that "you-wanted-to-talk-so-do-the-talking" expression on his face. "Okay, I guess that I should say something then." She started a bit unsurely, yet still calmly. "So, first of all... You look good, considering what Tony told me you've been through."

And it was true. She might see right through his facade but his physical appearance gave a very subtle hint only trained eyes could catch. To anyone else, he looked normal as usual, maybe only a couple of wrinkles that hadn't used to be on his face could say something more but that could also be credited to his age. And she didn't want him to know just yet that she had uncovered his inner torment.

"You look good, too." Gibbs replied without any sign of an emotion, his eyes boring into her as if challenging her to drop the formalities and focus on the main topic.

She had been toughened by him many times before, though, so she wasn't about to give him such satisfaction. "I'm sorry about your father." She expressed genuinely her sympathy, fighting the urge to reach over for his hand and squeeze it soothingly. She still wasn't sure what she could afford or not, so she rather refrained from any personal displays of affection.

His bottom lip started to tremble but he masked hit immediately by taking a sip out of his coffee cup, nodding at her appreciatively without uttering a single word. He also put his other hand behind the table because he could see how her own hand twitched in the urge to offer him a comfort and he didn't want that. She still had a lot to answer for and this could give her the false impression that all was good.

"Then I should apologize for Ari's ghost keeping looming over your head." She said afterwards, her hands clasping on the table in attempt to stop the neurotic tic in them.

Gibbs' mouth opened slightly in surprise but as he figured that Tony had already informed her about what had happened with Mishnev, he closed it. "You couldn't have known." He dismissed her apology, his voice colouring with a hint of fatherly sympathy, something he had tried to suppress but couldn't.

He was certain that Ziva couldn't do a single thing, because she hadn't known anything about the reason why he had been targeted. It had been one of the reasons why he'd forbidden any contact with her, especially to Tony. They had a conference call with Orli Elbaz who had assured them that Eli David had been aware of Mishnev's existence but he had also done everything to keep that information from everyone.

"That's true. But it doesn't mean that I shouldn't be hold accountable for it." She insisted, her head lowering guiltily, meeting Gibbs surprised and questioning gaze. "I allowed you to let everyone believe that you killed Ari when, in fact, it was me."

Gibbs sighed and looked out of a window for a moment pensively. "What is done, is done." He uttered quietly and Ziva squinted her eyes at him in confusion as she wasn't entirely sure what exactly he was referring to.

"Some people will always find an excuse for committing crimes. So if you need to feel guilty about something, you can." He clarified when he turned his gaze back to her. "It shouldn't be this particular case, though."

She was glad when Tony's claim about Gibbs never regretting his decision to take responsibility for Ari's death was proven. But she winced almost unnoticeably at the sudden coldness in his voice. The hint between the lines of his words that she actually _should_ feel guilty about something didn't pass unnoticed to her. And she didn't have to have the wit of Sherlock Holmes to grasp what for.

"I didn't come here to plead guilty for what I did, Gibbs. Not when it comes to you." She said coolly, carefully putting the words into the sentence to prove her point. "I understand that I should do so in the case of Abby and McGee. Even Jimmy, Ducky and Vance. But not you."

Gibbs didn't bat an eyelash and cocked his head on the side with a raised eyebrow in the "are-you-sure-about-that" manner. She apparently overlooked the family aspect of the whole thing, solely focusing on the individual one. But they were a family and he was its head. They were his responsibility. If she hurt any of the members of the family, she hurt him, as well. If she wanted to make amends for it, she should start with an apology to him as the head of the family.

"I said goodbye to you. I told you I was leaving and I stated my reasons for doing so. And you approved of them." She said, her voice still calm but perceptibly curter. "So no, I'm not going to apologize to you for what I did."

She took a moment to drink the water from her plastic cup to water her mouth. His assumptions about the family aspect couldn't be more wrong, because she was aware of it but chose to ignore it. He, as the head of the family, had accepted her departure for the whole family. She had chosen the individual approach exactly for that reason, because she'd gotten the approval from a family, but never from all the individual members.

"It was the best thing I've ever done in my life because I did it for myself." She muttered under her breath loudly enough for him to hear it. "It might sound selfish but I damn needed it."

Gibbs gave out a sarcastic chuckle and shook his head. "Yeah, no matter how many people get hurt in the process." He remarked coldly, the accusing tone of his voice cutting through the thickening atmosphere in the room.

She remained stoic as she didn't want to give him the joy to see how much his words hit the right hole in her heart. "Is this about you? Or Tony?" She demanded, raising her voice an octave higher. "Or both?"

She wanted him to admit that he had been hurt by her departure just like anyone else. She wanted him to stop hiding himself behind masks and feelings of other people, and just for once admit that he also had a heart and the heart was bleeding. She wanted to find the human side of him. She needed it to appeal on it when the time for what she wanted and needed to say would come.

Gibbs' features suddenly hardened, his facial muscles stiffened and his eyes gained a very dangerous gleam. "You weren't here when he came back. You weren't here to see him broken." He spat out viciously and Ziva winced. His words were stabbing and he didn't omit to twist the imaginary knife in the wound he had carved into her soul. "You didn't see him hurting. You weren't here trying to fix him."

That's when Ziva snorted out a mocking laugh. "As if you did anything significant to make him feel better, right?" She snapped back at him, her eyes darkening with anger. If they were about to issue a bill with who hurt Tony more and when, she was up for it. "Do you think that Tony didn't tell me how you treat him lately?"

She looked at him, expecting an answer but none came. He just kept staring back at her with unreadable expression on his face. He almost seemed surprised as if he didn't expect such a verbal assault. She caught him off guard because he had assumed that their talk would be about Ziva's self-flagellation and begging for forgiveness. Instead, it seemed that she had constructed this talk to be about Gibbs ill-treating Tony.

"He did, you know. And that's the source of his current torment. You've broken him." She criticized him mercilessly, her words passionate as the battle she fought for Tony as his girlfriend took over her mind. "He had to flee to Europe just to get away from you, everything you've done to him. What's wrong with you, Gibbs?"

Gibbs, who was aware of his ill-treatment towards Tony, didn't say a word. He had nothing to counter with, after all. He was guilty as charged. He felt ashamed of what he was doing to the man who had always been loyal to him, but he couldn't help it. Anytime he had tried to set things right again, something had told him to do the complete opposite and what was the worst – it made him feel good.

He hated himself for it but there were things he just couldn't deal with, not yet. If he brought himself to admit them, he would break down and he was sure he was more useful in the state he currently was. It didn't have to be fair, it might have been cruel and bothersome. But it was working, he was a functional human being and that was the priority of today's world.

"You're the last person in the universe to criticize me for my treatment of DiNozzo, Ziver." He picked at her, nevertheless, taunting her about her hypocrisy. Tony would have stood his treatment way better if she hadn't broken him first. He would have blessed their relationship if she hadn't been so afraid to admit her feelings. And he knew that Tony had been honest with himself in this regard for a long time.

" _In criticism, I will be bold, and as sternly, absolutely just with friend and foe. From this purpose nothing shall turn me." – Edgar Allan Poe_

Her inner strength was unbreakable, though, he discovered that in an instant. She leaned back and crossed her arms across her chest with a disarming smirk on her lips. "I would agree with that a week ago. Not now, though." She replied to his remark proudly. "I'm trying my best to fix what I have done. I love him and he loves me, and because our love is strong enough, we're going to make it."

He sardonically raised his cup of coffee to drink to her efforts as he considered them impossible to achieve. "Good luck in gaining his trust back, then. Might take you the rest of your life." He kept taunting her with a chuckle and took a mouthful gulp from the hot caffeine liquid.

If he thought that his mockery would knock her down then he was greatly mistaken. The power of love was unbeatable and Ziva had a large reserve of that love in her heart, providing her with strength and confidence. He could use anything he wanted against her and even if his words were truthful, he still couldn't win over her. He still yet had to find out how much she had changed and how hell-bent she was when it came to her and Tony.

"Then I will dedicate it the rest of my life." She banged her fist on the table to demonstrate her indestructible resolve. "But that is between Tony and me, and thus none of your business. It's only his decision whether he will trust me again or not."

She didn't mind that she had slipped the fact that Tony still had trust issues with her, constantly assuring himself that she was here back with him. She wanted to show him that there was no obstacle she would hesitate to overcome, no reason for her to stop fighting for what was rightfully hers. He could call her hypocritical but she had changed and she was here to prove it.

He looked genuinely surprised by her persistence, yet his gaze was still obstinate. It was definitely nice that she tried to redeem herself and if Tony decided to give her the chance, then fine. It didn't mean, though, that she would get back everything she had had before she had so recklessly left it behind. And among it his affection or the position on his team.

"You can express your opinion. You can go and tell him that he's wasting his time and I'm just messing with him." She challenged him boldly to which Gibbs responded with a resigned shake of his head to sign that he would never go that far. "But I can assure you that I will always be here to prove any accusation wrong."

She sat back as she had leaned over to him to express herself earlier. She felt invigorated, the anger flowing her through her veins so smoothly like river through a weir. The swell of pride inside her chest uplifted her and although this battle wasn't about winning, she couldn't stop the triumphant smile tugging at the corner of her lips. He had underestimated her and she loved to take him by surprise.

"And you should go and finally make up your mind." She pointed her finger at him reproachfully as if she was talking to a child. "You must decide what is more important for you. Whether your relationship with Tony or your position as a team leader."

Gibbs winced visibly because hearing the two options between which he was forced to choose aloud was way too real. So far, he had never voiced them. He knew that she was right and also that she didn't mean like that he could have solely one thing. He could still have both, but he would have to find the right balance he was incapable to achieve at the moment. And that was maybe even harder than making a choice.

"I may have done some cruel things to him, yes. But it's nothing in comparison with you." She stated grimly and focused her darkened eyes on him. "He's always been unconditionally loyal to you and followed you implicitly. He trusts you more than anyone else and you're unashamedly breaking that trust."

She couldn't be mad at Tony for trusting Gibbs so much. Gibbs had been there for him when others hadn't, always reliable and supportive. However, she couldn't deny the fact that exactly this loyalty had been one of the reasons why she and Tony hadn't gotten together way earlier. Not only because of Rule 12, but also because she had known that to ask Tony to stay with her in Israel would meet with disagreement. He had wanted to return, to his home, his work, his friends and his family. He hadn't traded his loyalty to Gibbs for her love back then.

"He doesn't deserve to be subjected to your testing, Gibbs. Don't do the same mistake as I did. Mine can still be fixed, but yours might not." She recommended to him sincerely, imploring him with her eyes. Gibbs' silence showed that her accusations were truthful and her advices well-aimed. "It's your turn now, so make your choice. Or you may lose both."

He continued staring at her wordlessly and she returned him the stare for a couple of seconds. When she was sure that he got her message, she pushed away her chair and stood up as she was done with everything she wanted to say to him. There were other things they needed to deal with but they could wait. She wanted to give him the time and space to think about what she had told him.

She started her way towards the door, intending to leave the room, but his words uttered in low, quiet voice made her stop. "There have been cases when he failed to prove his loyalty to me. All of them concerned you." Gibbs named the occasions when Tony had rebelled and hadn't cared about anything Gibbs had ordered to him.

She turned to look at him and measure him up and down. "Well, I'm here now. I'm here to be with him and I'm not going to leave him." She said resolutely, trying to make an eye contact with him but he kept staring in front of him, studying something invisible on the table. "You don't have to worry about his loyalty to you anymore, Gibbs. He loves us both. Differently, but he does."

He nodded solemnly and finally looked at her. "You should appreciate him like he deserves." He practically whispered, the knuckles of his right hand turning white as he grasped the cup of coffee.

It felt like a desperate plea to Ziva, as if Gibbs could never muster himself up to demonstrate the amount of affection he felt for Tony and so he wanted from Ziva to do so instead of him. She understood that Gibbs feared losing Tony, considering that every time he had expressed his fondness, that person had left for various reasons – death, new direction in life and so on.

She approached him and took him by his free left hand, noticing that it trembled. "I do, trust me. More than anything." She assured him and squeezed his hand firmly to emphasize it.

He looked at their hands and then at her, suddenly swiftly rising up to his full height. She took a little step back, not sure what to expect. When he leaned down to plant a fatherly kiss on her cheek, she obediently held out her head for him. "Welcome home, kid." He whispered into her ear, straightening up and walking off from the conference room.

Puzzled, she stood for a moment there, trying to understand the sudden shift in Gibbs' mood. Then she shook her head, shrugging her shoulders and went out of the conference room, as well. She headed for the bullpen but didn't feel well enough to be confronted by everyone else there, especially if Gibbs headed the same way, and so she changed her direction and opened the door to the restrooms.

Once inside, she sighed nostalgically and immediately chuckled at her sentiment over stupid restrooms. She went over to the washbowls and leaned her hands against them while she looked at her reflection in the mirror. She took a deep breath and slowly closed her eyes, and then she exhaled, opening her eyes. Repeating the process, she tried to calm her erratically beating heart down.

The unexpected wave of anxiety almost brought her to her knees but she had the support in the fact that she had been doing well so far and she had managed to deal with every single sign of negativity against her. As she watched herself, staring into her own eye, the fighting spirit deep inside her filled her heart, making her to look like a warrior on a quest. Her features hardened again and she raised her head proudly, feeling the tranquillity and mettle to take over her body.

She was abruptly interrupted from her meditation, though, when the door opened and a petite blonde woman entered. "Oh, sorry." Bishop blurted out, her body freezing and she looked like if she was doing a step inside the restrooms while trying to leave it entirely.

Ziva smiled at her in the reflection and then turned around to face her. "Nothing to be sorry for, Ellie. These are as much my restrooms as they are yours." She told her, having no problem with the presence of the other woman.

Ellie nodded in understanding and shifted her weight from one foot to another. Not knowing what to say, she just nervously smiled and pointed her finger at one of stalls, disappearing there in the next seconds. Ziva wouldn't call the vibrations from her as animosity, yet there was noticeable hostility and vigilance. But she couldn't blame her. If she had been in Elllie's shoes, she would have acted similarly.

She saw this unintended encounter as a chance to talk more with the younger woman and discover more about her personality and her thoughts, so she would know what to expect. Pulling her cell phone out, she occupied herself with answering the tons of messages Terri had sent her in the meantime, questioning her about the reaction of her former co-workers and waited for Ellie to come out.

The blonde woman certainly took her time as if she secretly wished for Ziva to go away but the Israeli woman remained where she stood. She had to fight the urge to start laughing when Ellie pushed the stall's door open quietly, trying to find out whether she was still standing there or not. When the toilet flushed, she used the noise to chuckle to wipe out the smirk out of her face.

Red-faced Bishop then appeared next to her, turning the tap on to let the water flow on her hands. Ziva kept her face straight and focused on the phone screen. In the corner of her eye, she could see that Ellie opened her mouth a couple of times uncertainly to ask something while she was washing her hands, but always changing her mind and shaking her head visibly.

When she was done and her hands were dry, she turned on her heel to walk away back to the bullpen. Ziva locked her phone and shoved it into her pocket, clearing her throat. "Is there some problem, Ellie?" She asked her curiously, arching her eyebrow to emphasize her question. "You're hostile to me, but I don't understand why."

"No! I don't have any problem with you! I just..." Bishop rushed to explain, her face reddening even more. She desperately didn't want to give an impression that she didn't like the Israeli woman, yet in the same time the fear of losing her job forced her to do the complete opposite.

"Look, I guess you've heard all sorts of things about me. Especially about me and Tony." Ziva immediately began, thinking that Ellie might be one of those who doubt her sincere love and devotion for Tony. She didn't know what others had told her but she understood that Ellie saw Tony as her brother. "And I understand that you might have some reservations about our relationship, but..."

"I don't have any reservations! I'm so happy for both of you." Ellie interrupted her and crossed her hands on her chest to express her sincerity that was coming right from her heart. "When I met Tony he was so sad and I-I get that it was most likely because of you."

Ziva narrowed her eyes at her but didn't say a word. There was nothing she could say in her defence, in all honesty. And Ellie carried on talking so it was quite hard to interrupt the salvo of words. "But although he started to be happy and goofy and all... He wasn't glowing the way he is now." Bishop ranted and came closer to Ziva while gesturing with her hands. "He obviously loves you very much and... You're finally together. And that's all that matters, right?"

"Yeah, thank you." Ziva appreciated her passionate speech with a smile. It was nice to see and talk to someone who was thrilled for her and Tony since the very beginning.

Awkward silence filled the room for once more, though. Ellie became smaller all of a sudden, unsure what to say more, desperately hiding the real reason of her hostility. Ziva's eyes felt like an X-ray, piercing through her with curiosity. She had the impression that the Israeli woman could read her thoughts because her lips curved into a satisfied smirk as if she finally got what was bothering the blonde NCIS agent.

"In that case, I should tell you that I'm not here to take my job back. I didn't come back to steal your position on the team, if that's what you're afraid of." Ziva assured her, reaching with her hand to squeeze her shoulder to emphasize her words. "I have no intention to return to NCIS, and certainly not to the team."

Ellie looked at her incredulously as if she couldn't believe her ears. The inconceivable idea that someone wouldn't want to return to the agency was surprising to her. And she was sure that it would be just as surprising to the others because both Abby and McGee had already commented subtly on Ziva's possible return. After all, they all had assumed that Ziva had wanted to talk with Gibbs exactly about that.

"You-you don't want to return?" She asked, her lips barely moving as they were frozen in shock.

Ziva shrugged her shoulders and sighed wistfully. She would be lying if she didn't admit that she missed the thrill of putting criminals behind bars and all that. "Well, never say never, but it's unlikely." She stated nevertheless. "I have moved on. I'm currently on a very different place and enjoy being there."

Bishop smiled sadly and went to stand up next to her, wrapping her arms around her torso in protection. "That's a shame, you know. I've heard you're a formidable agent. It would be an honour to work with you." She uttered quietly, staring at the wall in front of her, suddenly feeling that she was being robbed of something exciting. She didn't want give Ziva back her own position in the team, yet she would welcome working with her.

"Thank you, that's really flattering." Ziva touched her shoulder again, glad that Ellie stopped being so vigilant and finally showed some friendliness towards her. "If I ever return to NCIS, it won't be on the field. I don't want to do that anymore. I willingly gave that up because I chose that path for the wrong reasons. It wasn't what I really wanted to do with my life."

Bishop was undoubtedly bewildered that such a skilful agent, well-trained and gifted one, eventually felt a resentment of sorts towards the job itself. Yet, she understood that no matter how good a person was in certain field, it didn't always have to be enjoyable. And as far as she was aware, Ziva had lost a lot in her life because of her job. It was natural that she didn't want to lose even more, especially when it included Tony now, as well.

"Believe it or not, I get that." She replied, though, turning sideways to face Ziva. "I've always wanted to work for NCIS so when I was given the chance, I left NSA without a second though, even though I loved the job."

Ziva smiled at her, glad that her place was filled-up by someone who really wanted it and desired it. She could say that she even helped to make Ellie's dream to come true. "Always follow your dreams." She said knowingly and Ellie confirmed her claim with a nod.

"Still, do you... Do you think you could help me out from time to time?" Bishop asked her, nervous that her plea might be turned down. "It's more comfortable for me to get an advice from a woman, especially an experienced one, not to mention that you once were a member of this team."

Ziva looked at her, stunned by the unexpected request. She had never anticipated that such she would have been subjected to such a question. It pleased her immensely that someone had wanted her to give some guidance, that she was seen as an experienced person. And since it was coming from a woman who never met her until know, who knew her by hearsay and still trusted her that much already, she was simply overwhelmed.

Pulling the blonde woman into a friendly hug, she tried to cover her emotions. "Of course I can help you out. Whenever you need, Ellie." She whispered and pulled back, nudging her shoulder playfully. "I can actually give you quite a few tips how to beat the guys in their own game."

Bishop laughed, dropping all her hostility and grinned at Ziva. "Friends?" She offered her hand to Israeli woman with hopeful eyes that the offer would be accepted.

"Absolutely." Ziva confirmed with a squeeze of Bishop's hand, thrilled that she had gotten a new friend.

* * *

Tony yawned and stretched his hands as he waited for the coffee machine in the break room to do its magic and deliver him a good cup of espresso. He was too lazy to go out and buy coffee in their usual coffee place, so he decided to acquaint himself with the art of making a coffee in the coffee machine. After some needful communication with the device, he hopefully managed to make a cup of strong caffeine beverage.

He was so occupied by trying to understand how the damn machine worked that he had no time to spare his thoughts on the love his life and what she was doing now. He had so many questions about what she and Gibbs had been talking about and how it had turned out and why she had even wanted to talk to him in privacy like that. But before he could even start thinking about it, he felt pair of her hands embracing his middle.

"How's your day been so far?" She whispered her question into his back, inhaling his musky scent from his sweater.

He smiled widely, loving the homey feeling of doing such stuff in the break room. She might not be an agent anymore, but standing with her like that in this very building felt satisfying. "Well, it's been full of paperwork. Uhm, then more paperwork." He replied, taking her by her hands and turning around so he could face her and look into her beautiful eyes. "Oh, did I mention paperwork?"

She snickered at his aversion towards the administrative part of his job, recalling all the moments before he'd been whining like that. "It's not always all about action, Tony. You can't be on field all the time." She reminded him and purred when he embraced her with one hand and started to play with her hair with the other. "If the bad guys are really supposed to end up behind bars, the paperwork is necessary. The evidence must be processed in black and white."

"I know, I know... I wouldn't mind if someone else did it for me, though." He muttered with feigned annoyance. "A secretary, perhaps. Would you be interested? I would hire you."

She couldn't help but laugh at the notion and the simple image of them working like a secretary and her boss. "Nice idea, but no. That wouldn't work for certain." She dismissed it with a wave of her hand. "You'd hate me."

He chuckled because he knew that it would be true. She was way too meticulous in certain fields for his liking and she would be breathing on his neck all the time, reminding him deadlines for signing this and that... The only perks would be that he could sleep with his secretary anytime, since she would be his girlfriend in the same time. It could backfire the same way, though, as when she would be mad at him at work, she would be mad at him at home, as well.

The coffee machine informed him with a beep that it had been finished and so he took his cup of coffee and inhaled the amazing scent with a smile. Just smelling the caffeine beverage already made him more awake. She poured herself a cup of water, accepting a snack bar from him, unwrapping it and taking a bite. It felt so natural, like if they had never been separated from each other.

"So... I guess the talk with Gibbs didn't end up well, right?" He asked what was bothering him the most, sighing in pleasure after tasting the delicious coffee.

Ziva chewed on her snack bar for a couple of seconds in a torturing silence. "Why do you think so?" She asked him calmly as they stood side by side, leaning against the cupboards in the break room.

"Well, he just stormed into the bullpen, took his stuff and grumbled that he has something to take care of. Before we could even blink, he was in the elevator on his way down." Tony explained what had been happening in the bullpen while Ziva had talked with Ellie in the restrooms. "About five minutes later, we all got a text that he is taking the rest day off."

It wasn't like if Gibbs had never done such a thing ever before. What unnerved Tony, though, was that it had something to do with Ziva. Gibbs hadn't seemed angry or upset, disappointed or frustrated. It'd looked more as if Gibbs wanted to be somewhere else but NCIS building at the moment. He'd looked bewildered as if he had a lot of things on his mind and couldn't decide on what he should focus first.

"It didn't have any clear outcome." Ziva mused aloud, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly. "I just told him what needed to be said."

Something in her voice showed him that her sentence definitely didn't cover what had happened behind the closed door of the conference room. He was the only one who hadn't believed that Ziva had wanted to have a private chat with Gibbs to talk with him about her potential return. He already knew her plans and so he was sure that it hadn't been her agenda. He was certain that they had talked about him and their relationship.

He took her by her arm and turned her sideways so she would face him. "Did you intercede with him on my behalf?" He asked her directly. She'd already stated last week that she would make Gibbs listen and although he had assured her that it wasn't necessary and he could take care of it on his own, he suspected that Ziva had done so anyway. She was just as stubborn and self-willed as Gibbs sometimes.

"I just told him what needed to be said." She mechanically repeated, stony-faced and not batting an eyelid.

He rubbed his face contemplatively, thinking of the best way how to express himself without sounding like a selfish and ungrateful ass. "Ziv, I really do appreciate your endeavour. But this is my battle to fight, not yours." He said, hoping that she would understand just as he had two and half years ago in Israel. Some things just needed to be done by the person herself/himself.

She took his hand and opened it, caressing his calloused palm. "I know. I didn't try to win the battle for you, Tony." She corrected him in his assumptions, lifting her gaze to meet with his eyes. "I just stated my opinion as your girlfriend. And that title gives me a natural right to do so."

He couldn't say a word, his whole body melting at her words, making him the happiest man in the world. She took his silence as a chance to continue and so she did. "There were things that Gibbs needed to say and things that I needed to say. There was nothing more." She told him to calm him down. "We both needed to say them, sooner or later. So we did so right away."

He embraced her head and crashed his lips on hers, kissing her with passion she could hardly comprehend. Since he dipped her body down, she grasped his shoulders for support, even though his embrace was tight enough. But more or less, she was quite busy with repaying the hurried movements of his lips. He was kissing her as if it was the last time in his life, like if he wasn't supposed to get another chance to do so ever again.

"You don't even know how pleasing this is to my ears..." He rasped into her ear in a whisper when he seized the kiss to take a breath.

She finally understood that he was way too overwhelmed with her fighting for him as his girlfriend. Smiling, she pouted her swollen lips on him and patted soothingly his shoulders. "If that's so, I will exploit my new title more often then." She purred sweetly, her eyes burning with profound desire which he hardly could resist.

"Have a lunch with me today." He begged her, his hands rubbing her arms and his eyes telling her that he certainly didn't have in mind to eat. No, his plan was to find some secluded private place and find out how exactly she planned to exploit her new title.

"Uh-uh." She turned him down immediately. Such research could wait for some later times, she had other things to do. "I'm going to see Vance now and then I want to take Abby and McGee on a lunch if they're willing to go."

Tony pouted but understood the necessity of what she had in plan to do. "Ah, so the talking circle continues..." He acknowledged and combed her hair with his fingers to which she responded with a content smile.

"Exactly." She confirmed with a nod, placing her hands on his chest. She had constant urge to touch him as it made her feel so secure, so good. "Then I want to go home, pick up some groceries on the way as you don't have anything in the fridge... And carry on in unpacking my stuff."

He embraced her again, his arms tightly securing her waist. "Okay... Have a dinner with me instead?" He offered a compromise, feeling a little bit insecure that he wouldn't know where she really would be once she left the NCIS building. Not that he would suspect her of having a secret rendezvous with some another man. He was just afraid of losing her. Even though there were no reasons for her to leave him. He was still scared.

"Most certainly." She assured him and pecked his nose. "I will whip up something to stuff your greedy stomach."

She patted him across his belly and he couldn't help but laugh, his nervousness dissipating out of his body and leaving him light-headed and in good spirits. "You want to do that so I'd get fatter and women would leave me alone, right?" He teased her, his mouth already watering at whatever food she had in mind to prepare.

"Why would I do that? I have other ways how to keep you fit and chained to me in the same time..." She teased him back, her hand slipping down his clothes, dangerously aiming to his crotch. Her eyes only reflected the mischievous intent in her mind and she stuck out the tip of her tongue cheekily as the devilish smile took control of her face.

His hand shot up and grabbed her by her wrist, stopping her from going further. "Damn you, woman." He said as he struggled for control, knowing that she had him wrapped around her fingers. And he loved it.

She chuckled and freed her hand out of his grasp, standing up on her toes to kiss him on the lips. "Gotta go. Love you." She told him and stepped away, looking over her shoulder with a wink as she left the break room, leaving Tony there to explore further his new-found relationship with a coffee machine.

* * *

Climbing up the stairs to the Director's Office felt harder than she had initially anticipated. It had nothing to do with her physical fitness, she still kept jogging and recent bedroom activities with Tony certainly kept her in the shape. It was her current mindset that burdened her shoulders and made her legs feel heavier. She couldn't stop thinking about Gibbs and his prompt leaving.

Wondering why he had left so hastily and for what, she let her legs to carry her. She knew that it could mean either good or bad thing. Or he just needed to think which could only do him good. The nagging doubts in her mind, though, couldn't leave her alone and she wondered whether she hadn't said something that could irretrievably damage not only his relationship with her, but also his relationship with Tony.

In the end, she decided not to overanalyze it and let things flow. Gaining the trust of others back was a continuous process and she had to deal with it. For them, she was back only for a couple of hours, they still needed time to absorb that fact that she was back and in relationship with Tony. Such a thought was inconceivable for them just a week ago, after all.

Opening the door to the Director's Office, she greeted Vance's secretary who had eyes like saucers upon seeing her in flesh. The word had already spread through the building, murmuring about the famous Ziva David being back, but many people didn't believe so yet and no one dared to personally ask anyone from Team Gibbs. Now, a competent person really had bulletproof evidence in front of her.

But before she could go and confirm the rumours to all her friends, she made sure that the Director was unoccupied and showed Ziva in afterwards. Once the door was closed, she reached for the telephone and set the machinery of rumours in the motion, so anyone knew for sure that Ziva David was indeed back. Whether it was just a short visit or an indefinite stay, wasn't important right now.

Ziva and Vance greeted each other friendly, Vance courteously rising from his seat and offering Ziva the chair in front of his desk, and asking if she wanted anything. She politely declined and took the seat, folding her arms into her lap. Vance then sat down and leaned his back against the backrest, observing Ziva thoughtfully as he propped his head against his arms.

They stared at each other for a couple of seconds in complete silence. It wasn't uncomfortable or anything, they just tried to read one another so they would both avoid the topics that shouldn't be discussed and focused on those that mattered. Vance was dying to know what had happened between her and Gibbs, but knew that he would find out sooner or later, anyway. Ziva, on the other hand, pondered how to ask him about his life after his wife's death.

"You're not coming back, are you?" Vance broke the silence with a soft smile on his lips. They both knew what the 'coming back' concerned, so he didn't expanded his sentence more than it was necessary.

Ziva chuckled and smiled widely, appreciating his friendly approach. There was no hint of disappointment in his voice. "You're right. I'm not." She replied equably, relaxing a little when she realized that she had nothing to fear.

"I guessed so since the first second I laid my eyes upon you." He assessed and leaned forward, clasping his hands together on his desk. "You look so... content with yourself, like you don't miss anything. And it's not just thanks to DiNozzo, there's more. You like the person you are now."

He didn't need to know what exactly had been running through her head after her father's death. Although he hadn't even had the time to pay attention to her back then since he'd been fully occupied by his own grief, he could very clearly imagine her thoughts. He'd been there, too, thinking about everything he'd lost because of his job. He had gone through all the self-hatred, as well. And just like her, he'd found a way to deal with it and try to be a better person.

"Indeed. It's not that I don't love the job, it's just..." She tried to elaborate more on her decision, shrugging her shoulders as she tried to find the right words. "It was very hard to find the balance inside me and I don't want to do anything to disrupt it. Why to be greedy and want more when I already have everything I need in my life?"

Vance, impressed by her philosophical and rhetorical question, nodded in agreement. He was happy for her because she had apparently found the happiness she'd been seeking for. And the fact that she'd been back to be with DiNozzo showed more than anything that he'd been the last thing she'd missed in her life. And he had no doubt that their happily ever after would be the fairy-tale one.

"Still, it's a shame. You'd be an excellent asset." He appreciated her agent skills, though. It wasn't a persuasion, he just wanted to show her that her merits from the past had been appropriately valued.

Her cheeks turned scarlet momentarily under the amount of acclaim attributed to her. "Thank you." She expressed her gratitude. "But I have found a new direction in my life and I enjoy it so far. I don't know where it will take me in the future, but I don't care. I live the present and I will think about the distant future when it will be absolutely necessary."

He smiled at her knowingly. As he understood she had some plans she wanted to realize but if they failed, she wouldn't be on the point of collapse. Instead, she would just go and do something else instead. Her recent experience of being all by herself in Israel had apparently showed her that she could manage to do anything she set her mind on. And he felt very proud of her for that.

"So what are you doing now then?" He asked her curiously, reaching for his cup of morning coffee he didn't have the time to finish yet.

"Studying history." She replied with a dreamy smile, her eyes reflecting an enthusiastic gleam. "When I decided to find myself, I had to find out who I even am. Before I knew it, it sucked me in and so I expanded my studies. I applied for University of Haifa and became a student again."

Vance hummed in appreciation, glad that she was able to find something captivating enough. "That means you're not back indefinitely, then? Or how you're going to combine studying in Israel and your relationship with DiNozzo?" He wondered with raised eyebrow. Knowing DiNozzo, he somehow doubted that he would just let her to go back to Israel without him.

"No, I'm definitely staying." She corrected him gently. "I transferred my courses to the University of Maryland for this semester. I'll have to return to Israel for a couple of days to do my exams at the end of the school year, but I'll apply to stay here in the meantime. If I get accepted, some of my exams should be recognized so I probably won't have to start since the beginning."

"And what about after you're done with your studies?" He pressed, a spark of hope igniting his curiosity. He could still snatch her for the agency.

"Who knows?" Ziva shrugged her shoulders casually. "As I mentioned, I take things as they come. I'm sure Fate intervenes in the right moment and shows me the path I'm supposed to walk on."

He smiled at her, chuckling at her vague answer that was meaningful in the same time. "Well, looks like you have a great time ahead. Good luck with all your plans." He wished her success, rubbing his hands together. "But, if you ever need a job, even a part-time one, you can always turn to me. At least as long as I'm the Director."

"I'll think about it, thank you." She appreciated his offer. She knew that she would have to find some part-time job, anyway. Doing just one thing would probably make her go crazy, so she needed something else to focus on. "And what about you? How are you doing?"

Vance only hardly suppressed the smile. If he was given a dollar every time anyone asked him about his well-being after Jackie's death, he would be a millionaire by now. "Good. It could be better, of course, but I have two wonderful children I have to take care of and who depend on me." He replied, his prideful look revealing his thoughts about Kayla and Jared. "They're the hopeful light in the darkness and that's enough for now."

Ziva smiled softly because she could see how much he loved his children and how their bond had strengthened after Jackie had died. That was how family should work, not like it had been in her case. After Tali's and Rivka's dead, she and Eli had become estranged. It'd been fault of both, though, as they had been refusing to talk about their feelings with each other. The wall between them had been too thick.

"What other choice I even have? Life simply goes on." Vance carried on thoughtfully. "She wouldn't want me to be stuck in the past and neglect our children. No, she would want me to man up and mind my responsibilities, just like she would if I wasn't here anymore. She was more prepared in this regard than I was."

She looked at him sympathetically, feeling as the bond they had once shared deepened. She guessed that he spoke so openly only in front of Gibbs, but since both Eli and Jackie had died, she and Vance had suddenly had more in common. And it pleased her that Vance hadn't apparently forgotten about it. "She was?" She asked him with interest.

He nodded in affirmation, the earlier confusion and shallow feeling of betrayal long gone. "Yeah, she took precautions to be sure that she would be able to provide for the family if I died in the line of duty." He revealed calmly, showing that he had since come to terms with it. "She outmatched me in the practicality because I'd never thought about it."

"She was a very smart woman." She remarked fondly, thinking how unfair it was that such a wonderful person like Jackie had been robbed of her life.

"Yes, she was." Vance agreed, his eyes glistening with the gleam of unshed tears. Dreamily, he looked into the distance, recalling some of the best moments of his life with his lovely wife. When he came to himself, he focused his eyes on visibly downcast Ziva. "You're still not blaming yourself, are you?"

Her slumped shoulders moved as she gave out a sarcastic chuckle. "It's hard not to. If my father..." She protested, knowing that she should have forced her father to decline Vance's invitation back then.

"No, Ziva." Vance immediately interjected, leaning closer to her. "If there's anyone at fault, it's me. I knew what I was risking when I invited your father to the dinner, and I endangered not only my family by it, but even you."

She opened her mouth in protest but eventually decided not to say anything. He had apparently come to terms with this conclusion and she didn't want to disturb his current state of peacefulness. She sat back into her chair and started to play with her fingers. When she dared to look at him, he had a playful smile on his face and a mischievous look in his eyes.

"Can you imagine what DiNozzo would do to me if it was you?" He asked her, amused by the notion itself.

She laughed softly, glad that he could find a little bit of humour in it. "He would never hurt you. He respects you enough to have some restraints." She assured him, though and Vance chuckled in response.

In the moment she wanted to stand up, say goodbye to him and leave him to his work because she was taking enough of his time already, Vance's secretary discreetly informed him about a meeting he was about to have in MTAC. He apologized to her and together, they went out of his office while Ziva asked him if she could borrow McGee and Abby for a longer-than-normal lunch break and Vance allowed that to her with pleasure.

_**The End of Chapter 25** _


	26. Chapter 26

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 26** _

Ziva flipped through the menu in the Ted's Bulletin restaurant near Navy Yard (they had to drive there, though), throwing desperate glances at McGee and Abby in front of her. When they had come in, they had asked for a quiet corner for three and they had gotten it. Abby was silent for the whole time while McGee had tried to start some conversation that had been awkward to say the least.

She tried to pick something delicious for food, realizing that she wasn't hungry at all, but she knew it was given by her nervousness. She'd already ordered a drink, so she should do the same with some meal, as well. After her recent experiences, she had gone for a draft light beer. Tim had gone for an orange juice and Abby had ordered a coffee milkshake as those two couldn't afford drinking anything with alcohol.

When the waitress came to their table to give them their drinks, Abby informed her about her pick of Chicken Piccata Pasta which was a meal comprising out of fettuccine, capers, mushrooms, white wine, light cream, lemon sauce and chicken meat. Tim stared for a couple of more seconds into the menu card but then settled on Braised Pot Roast out of beef meat with roasted carrots and pearl onions, creamy mashed potatoes and red wine gravy.

Ziva knew that she had to choose, as well, and eventually decided to have a Ty Cobb salad with fried chicken, diced tomatoes, egg, bacon, Gorgonzola cheese, pickled onions and avocado topped with 1000 Island dressing, but requested it without the bacon. She could nibble at the salad and not to be afraid that it would go cold or anything. The waitress gathered their orders and went to arrange them swiftly.

She then looked at the pair in front of her and gulped. She wasn't afraid of the outcome of this long monologue that was about to happen, because her feelings didn't change and she wasn't about to leave Tony under any circumstances. The pain she would feel again while describing all her feelings and thoughts was her biggest fear. But it had to be done, she owed that to them. They had been (or still were) her friends and they deserved to know the whole story.

"So..." she began hesitantly and Tim looked at her expectantly while Abby kept playing with her milkshake, trying to look disinterested. "Tony admitted to me that when he returned, he was not able to talk about what happened. I guess I should start at the very beginning, then."

Abby shot her a 'you-absolutely-should' look and then looked away again, while Tim clasped his hands curiously and pricked up his ears. Ziva took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. "When... When we turned in the badges and I found myself unemployed," she began steadily, clenching her hands to stop the tremor, "I realized that I had no idea what to do. It was my whole life and suddenly, it was over."

She didn't have to mention that she had hoped that everything would turn out okay and they would be team again, as always. All of them had hoped for the same thing and it had eventually happened. Only she had been missing for obvious reasons. "And I did not take it as a bad thing, quite the contrary." She continued after taking a sip from her beer. "It made me think about my life and evaluate what I achieved. I could not avoid comparing it to what I actually wanted when I was young."

Abby listened to her and sadly stared into her milkshake. Tony had been right – when Ziva started thinking, it was dangerous. Exactly this kind of thinking had robbed her of her best friend. They all knew that Ziva had had a difficult time in her life and she had been deeply sorry about it, trying to do everything in her powers to make her feel better. It hadn't apparently been enough.

"That's when I started to wonder when and why things went so wrong because I did not feel happy. And it had nothing to do with you as my family," Ziva continued going through her emotions, gesturing towards her friends, "No, you were the only light in the darkness and I am so grateful for that. Still, I felt... empty."

Emptiness wasn't probably the word that could ever describe the void inside her soul back then. It was the closest, though. She had felt like if she had no heart inside her chest, no lungs for her to keep breathing, no innards to make the digestive system work as it should. Her heart had kept beating, but she hadn't felt any pulse. She had kept breathing but it still hadn't been enough to make her feel alive. She had kept consuming the food but she hadn't remembered the taste.

" _Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before." – Edgar Allan Poe_

"I could not determine who I was. And so I left to Israel in attempt to find that out because it is my home." She explained her overnight decision to leave to her homeland. "It is a place where I was born, where I grew up and where I can recall thousands of unforgettable memories."

Abby answered to her telling by throwing a reproachful glances at her because she hold the fact that she hadn't said about her trip to anyone against her. It shouldn't be that hard to call or just text. McGee didn't say anything but it was clearly noticeable that he felt sad for it, as well. He respected Ziva's choices, yet he would welcome if she changed her approach to more considerate one.

"I swear that I had in plan to return, I just want to reminiscence a little and bounce back after everything." Ziva defended herself because she had noticed their distress immediately. "I did not tell anyone because I knew that you would try to convince me that I did not need it."

Abby grimaced sceptically but she had to admit that what Ziva was saying sounded credible. When they had learnt about her decision to stay in Israel, they all had gone to her apartment to pack the stuff she had left there up. Nothing had testified about her intention to leave indefinitely, not to mention forever. It had seemed as if she had been about to return at any minute.

"But the decision made me feel so much better. I knew it was a right thing to do the moment I boarded the plane." Ziva explained further in attempt to prove her point. "I started to plan where I would go and what I would do there. After such a long time I finally looked forward to something."

She had travelled through the places she had originally planned, yet with different thoughts in her mind. She'd hoped to get a closure and instead, she had filled her heart with self-hatred towards the person she had made out of herself. Still, she was convinced that she couldn't do any better thing. She had gone through a seemingly endless torment, but in the end, she'd been happy as never in her life.

" _Never to suffer would never to have been blessed." – Edgar Allan Poe_

Looking into the distance momentarily, she snapped her head back at attention after her ears caught the slurping noise coming from Abby who devoured her milkshake. She smiled at her and Tim apologetically, glad that they were giving her enough time and space to properly express herself. She guessed that it was also a little bit painful for them to go back like that and relive the memories again.

"Someone was still on my mind, though, and did not want to go away. Tony." She said affectionately, the love for the man flooding her with pleasant and familiar warmth. "The fact we were not co-workers anymore, it just... It meant that all the bets were off. That we could finally afford and risk getting to know each other even better."

McGee modestly lowered his eyes. It pleased him to hear this despite the fact that things hadn't turned out the way they should. He could be certain that Ziva truly loved Tony, at that time and even now. Abby couldn't suppress a smile, as well, remembering when Ziva had confided with her about her feelings for Tony. She was glad to know that Ziva had planned to act on those feelings at last.

"And it suddenly made me feel so bad that I did not tell him that I left, so I called him. When he offered me his company, I said yes without hesitation." She carried on, feeling a bit more confident as she guessed that they had been aware of this arrangement. "I considered it a great idea if he went with me, so I could show him who I was before he met me. To really know the 'other' me. I also thought that I was ready to give in to what I felt."

She put her hand over her heart which signed not only her sincerity, but her love for Tony, as well. She perfectly combined her effort to make her friends forgive her for her abrupt departure without saying goodbye, as well as breaking Tony's heart. Her monologue was inevitably interrupted by the waitress, though, who brought them their meals. They thanked her while Abby ordered another milkshake and focused on their plates for a moment.

Ziva made an effort to dig the fork into the salad, trying to cover all the ingredients in the dressing but she didn't take a single bite. But her co-diners enjoyed their meals with pleasure and she observed that with a smile. However, when she realized the next direction of her story, an uneasy feeling settled inside her stomach in spite of all her efforts to expel it.

"But as they say, the man proposes, God disposes." She stated gloomily, making both of her ex-colleagues to look at her.

"Parsa?" McGee asked carefully, knowing the answer beforehand. They had lost her track after the attack on her in one of Eli's safe houses.

She confirmed his claim with a nod. "Yes. I managed to defend but suffered from some minor injuries." She explained, unconsciously stroking the gained scar on her leg with her foot. "I reached to my friend Deena Bashan because she is a doctor. She stitched up the wound on my leg and then offered me to stay at her place to rest."

She sighed deeply and wished that she could go back in time and refuse Deena's offer. Despite the fact that the outcome, at least for her, of this whole misery was good, she'd still preferred a different way than to become estranged with someone she had unconditionally trusted since childhood. It was never easy to deal with a loss of a friend, that was why she had been here, fight for her friendship with Abby and McGee.

"She asked me about my reasons for the visit and I confided to her what happened. I told her about my plans, the places I wanted to visit to relive my memories and all that." She went on, finally putting some of the salad into her mouth. "She did not appreciate the talk about the old times, though. Especially when I mentioned Ari."

Falling silent for a little while, she unknowingly kept her co-diners in suspense. The name of her half-brother was like a symbol of something bad happening. Mishnev targeting Gibbs was enough of a proof. "Why?" Abby prodded impatiently, saying the first word towards Ziva since they had left the Navy Yard.

Ziva looked at her in surprise, trying to digest if she was finally breaking through the thick walls Abby had built around her to keep her away. "She was in love with him." She replied simply. "According to her, he was going to propose."

Abby and McGee looked at each other, barely hiding their astonishment. It just seemed unbelievable that such a person like Ari would be capable of that high level of love. He had been a human, despite being monster, of course. He had been loved by his family, although repudiated later for his actions that had been done out of pure hate. They suddenly felt both sorry and still resentful for the man.

"And I guess she didn't take well that you killed him." Tim suggested the clear explanation of Deena's lack of delight to speak about the old times.

"Exactly." Ziva affirmed bitterly, recalling the scene at the airport from yesterday. "She did not want to understand and still do not want to understand that Ari committed a plenty of evil deeds. And that they cannot be excused and justified by the hatred towards my father. That we all are responsible for our actions."

She recalled her conversation with Terri on Saturday's morning and had to smile. _We all sometimes do morally questionable things because our job requires to do so and to fight for our beliefs._ That was what differentiated her from Ari. She had never betrayed her beliefs for a personal cause. If she had done so, it had always been for the greater good. Like killing him, for example. She had betrayed her belief in him to save Gibbs' life.

"However, she turned it against me," she continued sadly, quickly texting Tony back that everything was okay and he didn't have to worry, "blamed me for ruining her life. And although I begged her to forgive me, she refused."

Those two sitting across the table could hardly imagine how unpleasant the fight between the two women could have been. However, they resolutely sided with Ziva. To Ziva's surprise, Abby even expressed that opinion by touching gently her hand for comfort and their eyes met. Abby immediately pulled her hand off as if she realized that she was still supposed to be mad at her friend, making Ziva feel a little bit disappointed.

Instead, she rather focused on her telling again. "I knew that I could not stay there anymore, so I left. I made the journey I initially planned because I wanted to erase some of the guilt I felt." She informed them about her next steps. She left out the 'I will' list because it wasn't important for her story and what she had been through in Israel. Besides, the new 'I will' list was a very personal thing between her and Tony.

"But the things she yelled at me got under my skin. I started to doubt myself even more and eventually convinced myself that she was right. That I really was the centre of all the pain." She said and dismissed their starting protests with the wave of her hand. "I wanted to disappear, to run away."

" _I remained too much inside my head and ended up losing my mind." – Edgar Allan Poe_

The unintentional rhyme at the end of her sentence made her chuckle as she lifted her eyes to Tim and Abby, pleading them to understand her train of thoughts back then. And they returned her the gaze with understanding and sympathy. Yet, she could see that Abby had more than one wall preventing her to really get in. Understanding was one thing. Forgiveness the other. And renewal of their friendship a completely different one.

"But then Tony found me. I had no idea he was following me the whole time." She waded through the memories with fear how she would deal with describing this part of the story. "I sent him Ari's picture to tell him that something went wrong and I had to cancel our plans. That I was about to vanish and he should stay in the US and not trying to find me because it would be to no avail. But I underestimated him."

McGee was dying to ask a question he had had on his tongue for far too long but resigned on doing so. Either way, he was convinced that the 'awkward' call he and Gibbs had had with Tony when he had commented on his beard and Tony had claimed that he just needed a little more time to follow a lead in Be'er Sheva, he had already found her. The relief and tension in his face as he had tried to hide his discovery had been telling enough.

"I told him that he should not have come but you know him. He cared nonetheless and heard me out. I shared all my thoughts and emotions with him." Ziva shivered as the memories flooded her with the feelings she'd felt at those moments. "He argued and I protested. He tried to reason with me and change my mindset while I kept blaming myself for what I made of myself. But who I did not want to be."

Both her co-diners finally started to understand why it was so hard for Tony to talk about it. He thought he'd failed. Not only himself but also his friends, his surrogate family that had had hopes in him for bringing her back. But he hadn't and had considered it as a failure. Tony had always been a very talkative person but when it came to failures, he simply chose to conceal it and let it to suffocate him as long as he could take it.

Ziva caught the understanding gleam in their eyes and lowered her head in shame. "He pointed out then, that we were in the house that I was born in. And that it was a sign, that the universe was practically begging me to wipe the slate clean." She turned the fork in her fingers a couple of times, shrugging her shoulders. "So, I took the chance."

She looked back up at them to gaze into their expectant faces. "I decided to cut off all the ties from the past, to definitely resign from NCIS and work hard on myself to become a different person." She explained and watched as they both gulped visibly. "A better person. Someone who I wanted to be."

A smile appeared on her lips, one of those that didn't quite reach her eyes because it was caused by a fleeting memory. A memory of her and Tony sitting in her native home and coming up with the things for the new 'I will' list. They had spent quite a long time creating it, full of alternation between light jokes and serious moments. Undoubtedly one of her fondest memories.

" _We gave the Future to the winds, and slumbered tranquilly in the Present, weaving the dull world around us into dreams." – Edgar Allan Poe_

"But he did not think I had to it alone. He wanted me to come back to DC with him." The smile disappeared from her face instantly, replaced by a plaintive expression as the tears started to form in the corner of her eyes when she recalled the following scenes. "To come home... with him. He wanted to change with me."

She fell silent, suddenly feeling overwhelmed as her mind was attacked by memories that had been haunting her dreams. Tony's sad face the most of all. Closing her eyes to expel the careworn expression of her boyfriend from her mind, the tears involuntarily found their way out and she quietly sobbed. The wound on her heart was still too fresh, too raw, despite being healed. She was fully aware of the pain she'd caused to him and to herself.

"And then-" She started again, her voice trembling as her throat constricted under the inner pain that was seizing her heart.

A touch of McGee's hand made her discontinue whatever she wanted to say. "Okay, Ziva, stop it." He told her with sympathy, ignoring the kick he received from Abby. "What happened there is solely a personal thing between you and Tony. We don't need to know all the details because I think that we can imagine how hard it was for both of you."

The gratefulness in her eyes could melt the hardest heart in the world. She was glad that she didn't have to go minutely through the events that had happened after they had buried her new 'I will' list, leading to Tony's departure. In spite of emotional and intimate beauty those events had had, the pain was an integral part of it and she was afraid that she couldn't handle it with dignity.

"Thank you, Tim." She croaked and cleared her throat to stabilize her voice. She looked over at Abby who avoided her gaze and rather focused on the food she had in front of her.

"Just keep it general. He offered you to come back with him and you declined. And so you stayed in Israel and he left." McGee suggested what he had in mind that happened.

Ziva knew that it didn't quite cover what happened because there was so much more to say, so much more to point out and explain. But she really appreciated that he respected that part as their personal thing. It was hard enough to recall her goodbye with Tony, let alone to describe it aloud with words. And so, she just nodded to confirm what Tim assumed and didn't add anything else.

"It was everything I wanted and everything I did not." She then said and forced herself to eat some of the salad because the waitress was throwing her a worried look, wondering if the meal wasn't good. "But in the end I knew I did the right thing. I could never appreciate enough his love if I could not appreciate myself as a person."

She had needed to change first so she could make him happy the way he deserved. She would only make him unhappy, never returning his affection with the same intensity, with the same fervour. She didn't want to have a shallow relationship with him in which she would pretend her happiness and be apathetic to everything. No, he deserved more and that was why she had had to let him go first.

" _Where the good and the bad and the worst and the best have gone to their eternal rest." – Edgar Allan Poe_

McGee nodded understandingly as he turned back to his food, as well. "So, what happened next?" He waved his fork in the air to make her continue while ignoring Abby's reproachful pokes to his side.

"Tony managed to convince me to call Gibbs and tell him." Ziva answered meekly, shrugging her shoulders. "Then I spent a couple of long days with myself in Be'er Sheva, trying to determine what I should do with my future. And one day, I just knew what I would love to try."

She couldn't even describe with words the contradictory emotions she had had in the following days, full of feelings of unimaginable freedom and pride and feelings full of sadness, accompanied by hours of uncontrollable crying. But having some notion about her future had finally given her some purpose and also a new focus. It had most certainly helped her to stay sane.

"As I mentioned earlier, I felt empty and I had no idea how to determine who I was." She explained upon seeing their questioning glances about her new future. "That was why I made the journey, after all, why I returned home. I needed to find a way to identify myself with my nation, with my roots because I felt as if I did not belong anywhere. And so I started to read books about Jewish history."

McGee smiled knowingly as he could imagine what joy the books had brought to her. She wasn't such a giant bookworm as he was, yet they had engaged themselves in a serious conversation about books on a couple of occasions and he loved it. Ziva had always made some interesting points about the characters or the plot, and he enjoyed being challenged to look at things from a different angle. He had to admit that he missed it.

"It all developed so innocently after Tony left. I was trying to find something to take my mind off things and so I started to take some tests online to test my knowledge and memory." She continued and chuckled when she remembered her attempts to beat the tests with a perfect score as her natural competiveness wouldn't allow to her to be mediocre. "I was suddenly getting plenty of ads for history courses. And that was when I found out that University of Haifa still accepts students for their Jewish history study program. So I signed up."

She then proceeded to talk more about getting accepted to the university, her arrangement with Orli, buying apartment in Tel Aviv and meeting new friends, especially Terri and David, working on herself through self-help books and eventually psychology books, travelling all over the world to get to know the places she was learning about and to see the historical aspect. She rounded it off with that they knew already the rest because she had ended up in Prague, eventually, meeting Tony there and changing her life for him.

McGee logically wondered then, just as Vance, whether she was about to abandon her studies and join back the agency or what was in store for her in any other case. She patiently repeated her words about transferring her courses and her future plans, stressing that Tony himself hadn't wanted her to give up what she'd found pleasure in. She admitted that they had made a detour to Israel to arrange it.

"So technically, you're not coming back." Abby summarized it all with bitterness in her voice. Currently, she was more pissed at herself to foolishly think that Ziva back in the United States meant Ziva being back in all the places where she had been used to be.

Ziva looked at her, feeling relieved a bit that the Goth forensic scientist was talking directly to her. "If you mean to the team or to NCIS, then no. My future is different now." She replied calmly.

"Then why are you here?" Abby retorted, crossing her arms across her chest defensively. She didn't see any point of this talk and Ziva's effort to make them her friends again if they weren't supposed to meet on daily basis and if her future was different now.

She suspected that Ziva was doing all of this just to make herself better, to finally have the closure of apologizing for her behaviour. She could give her that but to gain her friendship back was still uncertain. And if it was about Tony then she could do what she always did. She didn't have to search for anyone's approval and just do whatever she wanted and they all would just have to deal with it.

Ziva was used to Abby's overreacting and certain sensitivity so she could clearly imagine what was happening in her head. That was just Abby. Overprotective mother hen she had managed to hurt. "To be with Tony, of course." She clarified gently. "I want my life to be complete."

Abby's eyes flared up with anger because she recalled one chat with Ziva during which she had admitted her feelings for Tony, but had also listed the reasons why it could never work. "Didn't you say that you don't need a man to complete you?" She snapped, making McGee flinch at the harshness of her voice.

"True, I do not need a man to complete me." Ziva didn't let herself to be disconcerted by Abby's hostility. She had expected it, after all. "I need _love_ to complete me. And Tony is giving me more than I deserve."

"And if he stops? Will you leave him heartbroken again?" Abby retorted, wincing when McGee touched her shoulder in an attempt to calm her down. He didn't dare to intervene into their exchange, though.

Ziva sighed, closed her eyes momentarily and shook her head lightly. "I doubt that Tony will ever stop giving me enough love, Abby. And even if he did, I will do everything that is in my power to save our relationship." She replied, trying to sound confident enough. "I have changed and I will fight for what is mine."

"Suddenly so resolute..." Abby shook her head unbelievingly, making her pigtails fly around her head. "Why weren't you like that when it came to contacting us? Why didn't you answer at least one damned email?"

"I actually answered all of them." Ziva deadpanned, irritation from Abby's accusing tone getting better of her. "I just did not send them."

She reached down for her little backpack and unzipped one of the pockets. She fished inside for a couple of seconds until she found the item she was looking for. Setting the backpack down, she slammed the USB flash drive on the table in front of speechless Abby. "I downloaded them for you to read them. The replies were usually written a couple of hours after you sent the email so you can get a raw, detailed insight into my head." She told her and set back, feeling odd kind of delight over Abby's awe.

She knew that there was no chance of being accused that she had forged those replies. Once she had answered the email – always making a copy in a Word document – she had closed it and never opened it again. The time stamps of the documents were a bullet-proof evidence of her claim. Besides, there really hadn't been any space to sit down and write the replies quickly in the previous days.

Abby stared at the flash drive in silence, trying to figure whether to trust her or not. But then she realized she had nothing to lose, anyway. She snatched it because Tim was reaching for it and started to play with it between her fingers. While she pondered what to say next, the waitress chose the moment to collect their empty plates with Ziva assuring her that the salad was delicious but she wasn't actually that hungry.

"So... I guess you expect us to be your friends again and trust you with Tony's heart, right?" She then said to Ziva in neutral tone. "That's why you told us all of this."

"I am not _expecting_ you to do it, Abby. I am _asking_ you. Humbly." Ziva corrected her in her assumptions. "You do not have to do it, if you do not want to."

Abby pursed her lips as if she was getting to some serious conclusion. "Great. In that case..." She made a pause and pushed back her chair, standing up. "I'm returning back to the lab, I have much work to do. Have a nice rest of the day."

She didn't bother with putting her coat on or anything, she just grabbed her things and stormed out of the restaurant, ignoring Ziva's pleading cries bearing her name. She just wanted to run away for a while and if anyone should understand that, it was Ziva. This lunch had been way too much to her and she needed time to ingest it all. She hadn't expected any of this when she had come to work this morning.

"Abby!" Ziva tried again, knowing that it was to no avail because the Goth scientist couldn't hear her on the street. Tim's gentle touch made her to give up her attempt to make Abby return and she sunk back into her chair with resignation.

"Let her go, Ziva." Tim advised to her, reaching for her hand to offer her comfort. "Give her the time and space she needs. Let her to read whatever is on the flash drive and then go talk to her again."

Ziva sighed and squeezed his hand gratefully and rubbing her forehead wearily with the other. "You are right." She admitted sadly. "I just did not want to make her mad."

Tim took a sip from his glass of orange juice and smiled at her. "It's actually a good sign that she's mad." He told her soothingly and chuckled at her raised eyebrow as she demanded an explanation. "It means that she still cares. If she didn't, she would tell you go to hell for hurting her and leave her be. But instead she accepted your lunch offer because she wanted to know what lead you to your decisions."

She nodded in agreement and looked at him thankfully. "Are _you_ mad?" She asked him, wanting to know his opinion. He had showed nothing but sympathy and understanding to her so far. She didn't suspect his insincerity but she wanted to be sure.

"You know me, I'm different." Tim shrugged his shoulders leisurely. "I'm not saying that what you did was the best way how to do it and that I didn't feel hurt by your abrupt departure but... But you returned, you explained yourself and I don't see any reason why I shouldn't forgive you."

Call him a phlegmatic person but that was how he really felt. He respected her choices, although he didn't exactly agree with them. She was a free, adult person, fully capable of making decisions like that, and he appreciated her urge to talk to him and explain her point of view. For him, past was the past. What he was interested in was the future. And that looked bright.

"You still have my friendship, Ziva." He added and she smiled at him warmly. "Besides, it's really nice to see you and Tony finally happy together. It's what you both deserve."

Overwhelmed by the positivity of his approach, she leaned in and planted a thankful kiss on his cheek, effectively making his cheeks turning red. "You are the best, McGee, you know that?" She appreciated him for his kindness and friendliness. Delilah was a damn lucky woman.

Tony lifted his eyes from the accursed paperwork on his desk when he heard the familiar ding of the elevator, his eyes widening in relief when he saw Tim and Ziva stepping out, and apparently in very good spirits. He barely registered that Bishop had fallen silent, as well, because he'd been trying to block out her complaints about a fight with Jake while visiting her family for the past hour.

"Oh, he did not?!" Ziva exclaimed, putting her hand over her mouth in an attempt to hold back the laughter. "Please, tell me you are joking!"

"Sadly, I'm not." McGee shrugged his shoulders with a smile on his face as they headed together towards his desk.

Ziva burst out laughing despite her best effort not to because she could imagine how embarrassing the whole situation must have been for everyone. "I am sorry, Tim." She apologized while she tried to get her laughter under control.

"Hey! What is so funny?" Tony greeted them while Tim waved at Ziva in 'no-problem' manner since he had told her the story for fun and plopped down to his chair.

Ziva smiled at Bishop in greetings and then turned to Tony. "Oh, he is telling me about that one time you saw Delilah naked on a video chat." She explained, her stomach contracting under the laughing fits.

Tony opened his mouth to present his defence but Tim was quicker than him. "And then he told me to get over it because he saw enough to know I'm a very lucky dude." He said, throwing an accusing eye on Tony to tease him.

"I apologized! Delilah and you have grilled me over that long enough." Tony exclaimed defensively while Ziva started to giggle uncontrollably together with Ellie. "Besides, you're not supposed to tell her that, McChatterbox!"

"She asked me what you were up to while she was away!" McGee defended himself, holding his hands up in the surrender. He was grinning, though, enjoying the good old feeling of a friendly banter.

Ziva cleared her throat to get their attention as she towered over Tony with her arms folded across her chest. "I am glad he told me. And I hope it taught you a lesson not to answer other people's phones, you nosy buffoon." She scolded him with a playful smile on her lips.

Tony theatrically rolled his eyes, both at her preach and Tim's mocking gesture. "Just imagine yourself in his shoes." Ziva carried on, placing her hands on her hips and he couldn't help but remember a similar situation from school, only he had been berated for something entirely different by his teacher. "How would you react if Tim saw me naked?"

Tony tilted his head, pretending to ponder her question deeply and then he smiled cockily at her. They both knew that Tim had already seen her flesh, although she hadn't been entirely naked. He hadn't been her boyfriend back then so it hadn't bothered him. He held her gaze and she seemed to understand what was behind his smug grin because her eyes suddenly flared up.

"I am not counting those bik-... What in the hell are these still doing here?!" She suddenly exclaimed in the middle of the sentence, pointing her finger on the wall next to Tony. Tim looked at the direction and since Tony turned his chair slightly, he could see what Ziva was talking about. Those infamous bikini photos were pinned to the wall proudly. Ellie, who had watched Tony to meticulously pin the photos there, giggled.

"Oh these?" Tony gestured innocently to the photos and fleshed her his best childish smile. "I found them in my desk and figured I could display them again. You know, since you're my girlfriend now."

Her features hardened as she put her hands on his desk and leaned forward. "One day, I am going to murder you in your sleep." She uttered in a low-pitched threatening voice, her eyes shooting daggers at him.

"Do it, please." Tony replied sweetly, clasping his hands imploringly. "I love when you do things to me in bed."

"Too much information!" McGee cried out and buried his head in his hands, his face crimson red with embarrassment.

"Are they like that all the time?" Ellie inquired out of curiosity while Ziva ran her tongue over her bottom lip and bared her teeth at Tony who wiggled his eyebrows on her seductively.

"Yes." McGee wailed, feeling even worse for getting so easily flustered.

"I also found this." Tony carried on casually, showing no intention to remove the photos. He opened his desk drawer and without looking, he reached for the jewellery inside, swinging the golden necklace on his forefinger. "You should take it back."

Mesmerized and surprised, Ziva took the necklace into her hands, rubbing the Star of David between her fingers. "You... You kept it." She whispered quietly. In all honesty, she'd expected him to drop it on the bottom of Hudson River or something. She had hoped he wouldn't, but somewhere inside of her, she'd known how painful it must have been for him to look at the necklace. However, she'd meant no harm by giving it to him. "All this time, you kept it."

He stood up from his chair, having in mind to clasp the necklace back on her neck where it belonged. She took his hand, though, and put the necklace into his palm, closing it tightly. "No. It is yours." She told him, unconsciously touching the new necklace around her neck. "It is a reminder that I will always be with you."

He squeezed his hand in which he held the necklace and put his arms around her, leaning down for a loving kiss which she gladly returned. "Oh, get a room you two." McGee rolled his eyes, smiling under his annoyed expression. It made him happy to see them like that.

Tony chuckled into the kiss, waving his hand dismissively at Tim but releasing his girlfriend eventually. She smiled up at him when he kissed the corners of her mouth and watched as he sat down behind his desk and put the necklace back into the drawer. "You're heading home?" He asked her, wondering how the lunch had gone but he didn't want to be obtrusive.

"I still have one more stop to make, then I am heading home." She corrected him and reached into his hair to ruffle it. "Down to the autopsy I go."

She said goodbye to both Tim and Ellie, awarding them for their friendliness with warm hugs, planted one more kiss on her boyfriend's mouth and went over to the elevator. Tony watched as she disappeared inside the metal box, silently assuring himself that he would see her again soon and there was no need for him to feel all anxious inside. She would be home when he finished at work, he had to be certain of that for the sake of his own sanity.

"All Christmas traditions are symbolic, Mr. Palmer, so even setting up and taking down a Christmas tree is connected to certain symbolical dates." Ducky's tutoring voice resonated through the walls of the autopsy and Ziva had to smile in nostalgia when she heard it. She didn't come inside, though, not yet. She wanted to hear more to savour the beautiful moment of something familiar.

"The tradition dictates to decorate it not before Christmas Eve and it should be removed the day after Twelfth Night, so on January 6th. Otherwise, you're risking bad luck." Ducky lifted a warning finger up and Jimmy's face seemed to go pale a little bit.

"Maybe next time we should buy an artificial tree then, Dr. Mallard. I mean this real one was nice and all, but it's already withered." Jimmy laughed nervously and kept removing one Christmas decoration after the other. "And if what you're saying is true, then I don't even understand why we put it up right after Thanksgiving."

Ducky sighed wearily, ceasing his cleaning work on his autopsy tools. "Traditions tend to change, Mr. Palmer. They evolve with the history of the mankind and derive into new customs according to our needs." He explained patiently, examining his scalpel against the light to be sure that there was no particle of anything dirty. "How else they would even become a tradition?"

"You are right as always, Ducky." Ziva said as the door from the autopsy opened before her and she entered the seemingly cold room.

Both men lifted their eyes to her without any sign of a surprise. "Ziva... I was wondering when you will honour us with your kind presence." Ducky greeted her with a smile, hinting to her that the whole building had already known that she was back. Ziva chuckled in response, not expecting anything else.

"Ziva!" Jimmy exclaimed when he recovered from the pleasant apparition and ran towards her to envelop her into a hug.

Ziva embraced him with the same intensity, trying to ignore the acrid smell of disinfection she had so easily forgotten about. "It is so nice to see you again, Jimmy." She told him, moved by his affection. "And congratulations to your family happiness."

Jimmy pulled away from her and beamed at her thankfully. "I must show her to you. Just let me retrieve my phone." He lit up and ran to his locker to find his cell phone so he could smother Ziva with countless photos of his small bundle of joy named Victoria.

Ziva smiled and approached the older man, kissing him lovingly on the cheek. "It is nice to see you again, too, Ducky." She whispered and caressed his wrinkled face with the back of her fingers.

"Glad to have you back." The older man replied and smiled. "Proves that some things are just worth waiting for."

She rewarded him with a grateful smirk and accepted the offered chair to sit down as Jimmy returned and unabashedly started to boast about his gorgeous daughter while Ducky inserted his usual witty remarks. Ziva didn't mind it at all, finally feeling relaxed because she wasn't forced to explain anything and could just enjoy the news from the lives of the people she cared about.

_**The End of Chapter 26** _


	27. Chapter 27

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 27** _

Tony turned off the dome light in the car and leaned his head against the headrest with a sigh. The darkness inside the vehicle and on the streets, interrupted only by street lights, made his head suddenly clearer. He turned off the engine, as well, as the car was warm enough inside and even if it was getting cold, at least it would give him the reason for getting off.

He was about to have a conversation with Gibbs and that was something he desperately didn't want to do but knew that he had to do it. He remembered his promise to Ziva that he would talk to him and try to resolve things between them without giving up. She had fulfilled hers about coming back to be with him, so it was his turn now. Besides, he wasn't really doing this because of the promise he had made, but because the past few days had taught him that relationships weren't getting better with silence.

Reason why he was sitting in the car for good twenty minutes without any indication of leaving it was obvious. His mood had changed significantly since the moment he had decided to pack his things and leave for Christmas holiday to Europe. And the comparison couldn't be ignored. He was in awe how love could change people because he felt such a great surge of confidence that he couldn't believe it.

But he just couldn't come to Gibbs and start fire off everything, including his feelings, his desire and demand solutions and compromises. It could block Gibbs even more and he wasn't aiming for that. Contrarily, he needed him to open up. He just hadn't found the right key yet. And although part of him wanted to wave his hand and leave, the majority of him was determined to solve this tonight. At least partially.

After he had pondered countless opening lines, he eventually opened the car door and stepped outside. He reached inside for his coat and put it on, momentarily regretting that they had left the warm temperatures back in Tel Aviv. If he hadn't had certain responsibilities home, he would have insisted on staying there until the New Year. On the other hand, he could look forward to getting cosy back in his apartment and snuggle under the duvet with the woman he loved.

He used his spare key to enter Gibbs' house just as many times before, practically being able to find the basement blindfolded. He took a look inside the kitchen and confirmed that Gibbs had spent the whole day in the house, judging by the amount of the lunch leftovers and beer bottles. After all, whenever Gibbs needed to think and meditate, he was always in his basement, usually doing some wood carving.

Before he started to go down the stairs to the basement, he politely knocked on the doorframe to sign that he wasn't an enemy. It was most certainly the right thing to do because he heard Gibbs to sigh in relief and put his gun down. The silver-haired man was apparently tensed if he felt the need to have his gun so close to him and even load it when he had heard someone walking upstairs.

"Hey, boss." He announced himself and slowly descended the stairs to find Gibbs in a red Navy hoodie, shaping some piece of wood with a chisel.

Gibbs didn't look at him at first but then he realized that there was no second voice he had expected and lifted his gaze to Tony. A hint of surprise flashed across his face but he covered it soon enough. "Ziva's not coming with you?" He asked nevertheless, lowering his head back to his work.

Tony put his hands into his coat's pockets and shook his head. "No, she's not. She doesn't even know I'm here." He said and then furrowed his eyebrows in contemplation how come then that Ziva hadn't been asking for him. "Well, I didn't tell her I'm going here but I guess she expects me to stop by."

It was a logical speculation considering what he had promised her and how Gibbs had reacted to their talk in the morning. Certainly way more logical than his nonsensical worries that she might leave him for reasons unknown. A cold feeling suddenly settled inside his chest but he shook it off. There were more urgent things to deal with at the moment.

"Besides, I didn't come to talk about her." He stated confidently and watched as Gibbs halted the movement of his hand.

"You didn't?" Gibbs asked in puzzlement because that was one of his guesses for Tony's presence in the basement. He had always sought his approval so he had expected that it was the same case right now. Even before Zoe had officially become his girlfriend he had come to consult it.

"No. Why should I?" Tony questioned his query, trying to tame his irritation. "I don't need anyone's approval and especially not yours. We're not co-workers anymore, therefore no Rule 12 to take into consideration."

He couldn't help but feel irritated because he took it as Gibbs' attempt to dodge the talk about their _real_ problems and decoy away the whole conversation to his relationship with Ziva. He might rely on him in the past when his personal life was concerned, but never when it came to Ziva. Not anymore. He wouldn't listen to anything he would want to say, anyway, because no one could separate him from Ziva ever again.

"And even if you insisted then let me tell you that we're not dating." He lashed out suddenly as he got angry with himself for ever obeying to that stupid rule. "We _love_ each other. It's real, true love."

Gibbs measured him up and down, biting his tongue several times but since he had spent most of his day pondering Ziva's words, he rather chose to say nothing. It irked him that it was Ziva who had chewed him out but it didn't mean that he hadn't deserved it. If he wanted to fix his relationship with Tony, he had to start with making concession, although it was something unfamiliar to him. Keeping certain comments to himself was one of such concessions.

"Okay." He eventually uttered and reached his hand for the bourbon on the desk, taking a sip. He made an offering gesture towards Tony but the younger man declined with the wave of his hand. "What did you come to talk about then?"

"You and me." Tony fired off immediately, shifting his weight. He had longed for this conversation way too long as all of his previous attempts had fallen on deaf ears.

An atmosphere full of expectations settled between them. Gibbs gave him one long piercing stare, then put the chisel down and took a carving knife into his hands. With meticulous attention, he started to carve the pattern into the piece of wood, leaving Tony in the midst of deafening silence. Tony hated it as it was so similar to all those 'talks' they'd had before but he stubbornly waited whether Gibbs had anything to say.

"So you have nothing to say?" Tony asked, getting annoyed with the indifferent treatment he was receiving. A couple of days ago, he would go away with his tail between his legs until he would work up enough courage to start over. Today was distinct from those days, though.

The ex-Marine blew off the woods shavings from the piece of wood he was working on nonchalantly. "Well, you came talk to me. Not the other way around." He said tellingly as if he had no intention to ever start this talk. The ball was on Tony's side. _He_ had a problem, Gibbs didn't.

Tony tried his best not to show how exasperated he felt but his words held all the accumulated frustration, nevertheless. "See? That's exactly what I'm talking about." He spread his arms in a gesture of disillusion. "I come to talk to you, I want to discuss what's wrong and you just block me out and pretend that problems don't exist."

Gibbs straightened up defensively because Tony came nearer to him with an accusing finger pointed at him. "Don't play it on me, Gibbs! You know very well what's going on here." Tony spat angrily, dropping the title of the boss, suddenly feeling zero respect towards the man in front of him. "I know what Ziva talked to you about. I don't know what exactly she told you but I can imagine, considering what I told her."

The fatherly side of the silver-haired man swelled with pride because it had proven the depth of their love. The other side, bossy one, felt intimated by this assault but had nothing to counter with. His injury let him know about its existence again and he momentarily felt a little bit dizzy, but managed to cover it. He didn't want to think about the mental nature of the harm he had suffered at the moment.

"My mistreatment of you?" He asked him as calmly as he could, receiving Tony's vigorous nod in confirmation with hissed 'yes' under his breath. "You could have talk to me about it anytime."

Tony opened his eyes wide, trying to guess whether Gibbs is trying to make fun of him or what this was supposed to mean. He couldn't believe that Gibbs wouldn't remember treating him as a suspect, giving him the silent treatment and yelling at him afterwards. Nothing he had ever said in the past few weeks had been met with any acknowledgment, any indication that the words had been perceived.

"You're kidding, right? Do you think I didn't try?" He asked the older man unbelievingly, wondering if he was ever able to break through the thick walls of his. "You didn't want to listen, Gibbs. You gave me a cold shoulder and ignored any of the words I said."

Gibbs wearily pinched the bridge of his nose and sat down on the stool behind him, lurching a bit as the weight of the accusations dawned on him. They weren't baseless, after all. He reached for the bourbon to wash down the bitter taste in his mouth but knew that it wouldn't work, anyway. There was no excuse for his behaviour towards his surrogate son and he was very much aware of it. He had done so deliberately.

"I almost died, DiNozzo." He said after a long minute of staring into the reddish copper distilled spirit in his hand, his voice wavering. "Such experience changes people."

" _The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any moment." – Mark Twain_

Yes, he had pulled round very quickly. Yes, he had had lasting problems with his injury – both physical and mental. And yes, he had been refusing to talk about it with anyone, very hardly uncovering the extent of the suffered damage. But that was who he was. He was highly functional and capable of carrying the tasks he had to. And that he considered as a success.

Yet, it wasn't like in the past. He started to feel the age catching up on him, taking revenge for all those years he'd been overtaxing himself. Many times he had caught himself misinterpreting situations and words, overlooking even the basic details, softening his approach way too much or hardening it by contrast. It was desolating but it was a burden he had to withstand.

"Yes, you almost died and it frightened us all." Tony agreed and wished that Gibbs would be more open about it. It wasn't a weakness, quite the contrary. It was strength to return relatively unscathed. "And I did what you taught me. Instead of breaking down, I stepped up and I tried to keep it all intact so you would have something to return to. Tell me, what did I ever do wrong, then?"

Gibbs took a sip from the glass and smiled bitterly. "You did nothing wrong. Contrarily, you were a top-class and I wouldn't expect anything less of you." He informed him, hesitating for a moment whether to add his next words or not. "But that's exactly it, you know."

"What do you mean?" Tony questioned uncertainly, not sure what to make out of it.

"I had something to return to. Or someone to be exact." Gibbs said, not being able to hide the contradictory prideful and embittered tones of his voice. "A committed, confident man who stood in for me flawlessly and proficiently dealt with the threat."

And that was true. Tony hadn't hesitated or waited for any orders. He hadn't worried for Gibbs' life and hadn't been biting his nails in anticipation of the operation's result. He had gone to eliminate the threat because the time pressure had been high and because it had been what Gibbs would have done if he hadn't been indisposed. He'd pushed everything back and had acted as a true, competent leader.

"It made me feel useless." He admitted quietly, surprised himself by his own talkative mood. "Don't get me wrong, you did the right thing. But you didn't wait for me and it felt as if you wrote me off."

Tony descended on another stool in the basement, obviously trying to absorb the shock. He'd guessed that he'd just become a target of Gibbs' frustration, not the main reason of his vexation. He'd never had any intention to make feel his boss this way, especially when he'd been trained to react on critical situations in this manner. But he admitted that as irrational as Gibbs' feelings could seem, they made sense and it explained his behaviour.

He opened his mouth in an attempt to console him but Gibbs implied with the wave of his hand that he didn't need it. He was aware of the silliness of his feelings. "With the increasing mistakes I've made during investigations," he began after a moment of silence, waving off Tony's protests once again because he knew about his mistakes which only added up to his despair, "I knew it was just a matter of time until someone noticed it and started question my competency."

He looked at Tony apologetically, suddenly wondering why he'd been hiding this for such a long time, because it felt liberating as opposed to his previous assumptions. Maybe Ziva's words had done more magic than he'd been letting on. "I tried to psych you out and force you to make mistakes, as well, to dampen your efforts to shine." He said truthfully. "I didn't want anyone to suggest that I should let you to take over because I was unequal to the job anymore. I saw you as my rival."

Tony's jaw dropped in response, finally getting why Gibbs had enforced the silent treatment when it came to him. He'd no longer see them as a mentor and a student, but equal rivals that stood against each other. And unless you want to confuse your rivals, you just don't go and open your heart to them. It was a hard realization to take, let alone to admit.

He'd never dared to guess that his relationship with Gibbs could distort in this fashion. He knew that not only the aging, but also the injury and near-death experience played part in the change in his boss' behaviour. Never had he thought that his own self-reliance and confidence would make the older man to basically hate him, though. He'd expected pride and acclaim, not the resentful treatment he'd eventually gotten.

"I didn't want to lose my position and I still don't want to. I might not be as good as I used to be but I have ample results" The silver-haired man resolutely added, the dangerous gleam in his eyes returning back. It wasn't threatening, he just wanted to let him know that he wasn't going to make concessions of such kind. "I have no other purpose of life, DiNozzo. And in my age, I'll hardly make any effort to find a different one."

After these words, Tony dropped everything he had prepared to tell him because he realized that it was to no avail. Gibbs was aware of his wrongdoings and had listed his reasons for doing them, so it had no sense to question him about it all over again. It was better to focus on the problem that was lying in front of them. Two mature, competent and formidable agents standing against each other.

There was a thread of expectation in his voice, something he wasn't telling him and that was between the lines. If it meant to make a concession and regress, then Tony was refusing to conceal his maturity and professionalism just to give Gibbs the godly feeling. If it was about progress, he wasn't completely sure what Gibbs had in mind, if they were supposed to keep working together.

"What do you expect me to do, then?" He asked him carefully, clasping his hands in front of him.

Gibbs sighed and took another sip from his glass to give himself a little bit more courage. Ziva's words resounded in his ears as she had insisted on his decision to choose between his relationship with Tony and his position as a team leader. He'd chosen neither but found a balance. A balance that personally wasn't desired, but was necessary if both things were supposed to be salved.

"I appreciate your maturity and I guess I also subconsciously tried to nudge you to something better." He answered and threw one of his piercing gazes at him. "You should have your own team."

Tony didn't avert his eyes someplace else, he stared right back at him pensively. It seemed that the only way how to deal with their current issues was to part their ways. Something both had tried to avoid for a very long time but that was apparently inevitable. It felt symbolic – more than two years ago he had returned back to Gibbs, not being able to give up his job and respecting Ziva's wish to do her self-exploration alone. Ziva now had returned to him and he was forced to leave Gibbs.

"I have nothing more to give you. You don't need my guidance anymore." Gibbs continued to expand his suggestion. "You have everything you need to be an excellent team leader. I would only hinder you."

"That means that we would no longer work together, though." Tony remarked weakly. It was a reasonable compromise but one of those he grudged doing. He could be sick and tired of Gibbs' moods but his supervision and tutelage still meant a world to him.

"Yes, but that is bound to happen one day, anyway." Gibbs objected with a bitter smile with a hint of real humour. "And as I'm not going to resign, you waiting for me to do it would be just a huge waste of talent we can't afford."

Tony chuckled and actually smiled at the vision of having his own team. Not working together didn't mean that they wouldn't see each other at all. And maybe it was really a step in the right direction, one that could help them to fix their relationship and restore it to its usual state. It meant hope and it felt positively good. Although a little bit fast for his liking.

"Besides, you should also think about the others and give McGee a chance to become SFA." Gibbs advised him, dropping the serious tone and becoming friendlier. "He needs to step out of your shadow."

Tony smiled wider but then it faded out of his face. This was a serious issue, one that needed a plan and corresponding responsibility. He couldn't help but question his readiness on another huge change in his life. "Wow. I mean it's not an offer I can refuse, right?" He didn't want to undervalue Gibbs' effort to find negotiable solution of their situation, though.

"I'm not saying you have to decide right here, right now, DiNozzo." Gibbs calmed him down, having respect to his need to weigh the option. "Go home; consult it with your girlfriend and whoever else you want to. Take a reasonable amount of time and when you're ready, let me know."

There was a silent mutual understanding between them that Tony wasn't pressured to decide immediately, but he also shouldn't hesitate for far too long. Gibbs understood that Ziva's return had already made enough havoc in his head and such big life changes had to be embraced one step at a time. On the other hand, he couldn't guarantee that his approach would soften. And he didn't want to cause another, greater rift between them.

"For now, we can start preparing you for the role and take turns in the leadership so you would get used to it." Gibbs offered, showing that it was the only concession he was willing to make. "Two weeks me and two weeks you, until the paperwork gets processed and you'll be given the authority to create your own team."

Tony nodded his head in appreciation because that was a very forthcoming gesture. "That would be very helpful, thank you, boss." He expressed his gratitude and stood up from the stool to squeeze Gibbs' hand gratefully. "Actually, thank you for everything."

Momentarily overwhelmed by his own emotions, Gibbs tugged at his hand and drew him closer, giving him a brief, manly hug. Then he made a step backwards to put some distance between them again. "Now, if I'm not mistaken, there's a lovely woman waiting for you at home." He said and reached for his carving knife, intending to carry on in his work. "Go and be with her."

Instead of an answer, Tony smiled. Typical of Gibbs to gave his blessing indirectly, anyway. Deep inside, that man had a soft heart and yearned for being loved in return. He bid his goodbye and with an excellent mood, he went out of the basement, Gibbs' house and headed straight to his car. His boss was right – there should be a charming woman waiting for him at home and he'd already missed her terribly.

* * *

He parked his car on his usual place and finished singing the song playing on the radio before turning completely everything off. Whistling, he got off the vehicle and locked it up. He raised his eyes towards the windows of his apartment and smiled widely when he saw the dimmed lights illuminating his living space. With a blissful sigh, he went inside the apartment building, clicking his tongue soothingly at his rumbling stomach as he climbed the stairs up.

He opened the door and dropped down his backpack, quickly scanning the room. "Honey, I'm home!" He announced himself teasingly with an amusement in his voice. He could definitely get used to be so domestic. With Ziva, everything seemed easy.

But there was no answer and in that moment he realized how the apartment was actually quiet. The fire in the fireplace was softly cracking, stressing the unnerving tranquillity of the living room. He inhaled carefully but didn't notice any smell of food being prepared as she had promised him. An intense dread seized his whole body at that moment but he frantically tried to calm himself down.

"Honey?" He called out unsurely and went to check on his dining area and kitchen but had found no traces of her. Same went for the bedroom and the bathroom.

For a fleeting, chilling moment he just stood hopelessly in his bedroom, trying to control the panic arising in him. It overpowered him eventually, anyway, as he started to frenziedly find any trace, any mark, any proof that he hadn't been dreaming these past few days and she had really returned to the United States with him. He was like mad, absolutely being aware that most of the insane people lived in a fantasy and he desperately tried to prove that he wasn't one of them.

His fierce inspection brought the desired results. All her clothes were neatly arranged in the wardrobe and drawers just as she had claimed she had in plan to do. Her toothbrush and other hygienic stuff were in the bathroom, usurping the space that once had solely been his. The fridge in the kitchen was full of freshly bought food, the table in the dining area was set for the dinner and everything just seemed completely okay.

He returned to the living room, confused as he tried to understand how she could just vanish. He wondered if sudden emotion of her mind made her to run away from him, not leaving him any message, any clue where she went into hiding. Maybe she was too overwhelmed by all the demands of her new life that she gave up and rather left again to find her psychical balance again.

He pulled out his phone and immediately dialled her number, suffocating when he heard the ringtone in the living room. It didn't take him long to find her phone on the couch as if she had just forgotten to take it with her. He forced himself to take a couple of deep breaths to spread his lungs and get rid of the constricting feeling inside his chest. He sank down on the couch, desperately holding back his tears and silence the feeling of betrayal.

A sound of rattling keys brought him back to the cruel reality and he looked at the door in puzzlement. Another shock shot through him as Ziva slipped inside the apartment, seizing the joyous humming when she spotted the havoc he had made during his search. She looked around in confusion and shot him a questioning gaze, ignoring the wilted posture of his body.

"What happened here, Tony?" She asked him brusquely, shrugging her coat off of her shoulders and throwing it away over the couch.

He jumped out of the couch and practically ran over to her, almost tripping over his own feet. "Thank God, you're here!" He exclaimed and hugged her tightly as much as he could, making her to gasp in surprise. "Where have you been?"

She stepped away from him cautiously and lifted her arms to show him the two pizza boxes. "I just went to pick up pizza, that's all." She explained and realized that he hadn't noticed the boxes in her hands so far. "The pizza guy called me that he had another delivery one block away from here and asked me if I could come there."

He focused his eyes on the pizza boxes and a feeling of shame added to the feeling of relief that was currently raging through him. While he had been assuming that she had left him, she'd been on her way to bring a piece of mutual, bonding memory for them. Because there was no ordinary pizza she had ordered. This pizza had a meaning, a significant and lovely one.

"I haven't had a pizza from this place since..." He trailed off as he looked at the boxes with fondness. Momentarily, he went back a couple of years ago in his memories as he had stood in front of the Hotel Embasero, stuffing his mouth with this particular pizza before she had come to reveal that she had known about his presence the whole time. It felt like an eternity passed since it had happened.

From that moment, they had always ordered pizza from this place whenever they had a movie night or just dined together. He hadn't had the guts to do it after she had left, simply because it had been painful enough and he certainly hadn't wanted to connect pizza with grief. The more he felt happy to taste the delicious stuff again. It didn't escape his notice that she had brought his favourite pepperoni one with cheese while she had bought her usual kosher pizza with fresh spinach, olives, tomatoes, garlic oil and feta cheese.

"What's wrong with you?" She asked him with concern, taking off her shoes in the process. "What happened here?"

His shameful eyes revealed more than enough and she needed just one look to find out what had been going on. With a sigh she passed by him and put the pizza boxes on the coffee table in front of the couch. He turned around to face her but she remained standing with her back to him, hugging her middle protectively as she pondered the best way to handle this conversation.

"You thought I left, didn't you?" She assessed in a stable tone, making a turn to look into his eyes.

He opened his mouth to no effect because the feeling of shame had robbed him of all words. There was no way, no mean to excuse the break of his promise that he would start working on himself to trust her again. As of yet, she hadn't done anything to make him doubt her, quite the contrary. She'd been hell-bent and decisive, and she'd been proving his unconditional love with ever step she made.

"I-I'm sorry." He blurted out quickly, desperate to apologize for his wrong and, truth to be told, insulting guesses. "I just panicked, I guess. I wanted so much to see you that when I didn't find you here, I assumed the worst."

He licked his suddenly dry lips and she raised her eyebrow in question, expecting further explanation. "McGee told me what happened during the lunch you had with him and Abby. And... I don't know, I was just afraid that her unwelcoming reaction might have put you off." He revealed nervously, shifting his weight from one leg to the other.

Ziva closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh. She wasn't disappointed in him or angry with him, no. She knew that she'd give him many reasons to rightfully doubt her. Yet, it hurt that he thought she could be so easily discouraged in her endeavour to rekindle her relationship with their surrogate family, especially when she'd assured him numerous times that the most important thing for her was him.

"I'm so sorr-" He began to apologize again but she approached him and took him by his hands, effectively silencing him.

"No need to apologize, Tony, you've already done so." She told him patiently and intertwined their fingers, reminding him his apology when they had sat in the restaurant under Prague Castle. "But let me repeat to you something, okay?"

He gulped and nodded to sign that he was listening with the attention she demanded. "I am here and I am not leaving anywhere. I returned to be with you because I love you." She said sincerely and caressed his calloused palms lovingly. "That's not going to change."

He smiled at her sweetly, his heart skipping a beat with every single word. He felt ashamed for his doubts, yet he felt also immensely happy while listening to her assuring speech. He didn't know how much he needed to hear it until his ears were pampered by the beauty of her effort to convince him that she would stay forever with him. In that moment, he wanted to suffocate her with his love for her.

"And I don't care what Abby says or wishes. Or anyone else for that matter." She went on, letting him to put his hands on her waist as he drew her closer to him and their chests collided. "You. Are. Mine. And I'm not going to give you up without a fight."

She had never considered herself to be a possessive person but something on this situation had just made her to express herself in this fashion. If she wanted to convince everyone that she was eligible, loyal and caring partner for Tony and they should trust her with his heart, she had to send a clear signal that she would parry any attempt to undermine her belief and take her rights away from her.

"So, just a couple of little mishaps on the way certainly aren't going to make me to abandon you. I'm still not done yet. This was just the first day, first step to redeem myself." She reminded to him that they both knew that it wasn't going to be easy and it had to be done carefully and tenderly. She didn't have any intention to push anyone. "Just as I asked _them_ to give me some time in the past, _I_ have to give them the time they need now."

He nodded in agreement and softly caressed her back to apologize wordlessly. He had to admit that she'd been working her ass off to be so confident and convincing while he'd been insecure and doubtful. Instead of supporting her, he didn't make it any easier for her. But that was going to change, he would become her rock again, the stable unbending pillar she deserved to have in her life.

"So, calm down and be patient." She begged him as she ran her fingers across his shaved cheeks. "And promise me that you will start working on trusting me because as I looked on the possible class schedule, I won't be always home when you return from work."

He leaned down to kiss her chastely on her lips to reward her for her patience with him. "I solemnly promise." He swore sincerely, kissing her fingers to seal it.

For a brief moment, she cuddled up to him and he embraced her in the warmth of his body, breathing evenly as the uneasy feeling dissipated. She loved him, she was here with him and nothing else mattered. And she had brought him the best pizza in the world, not just for its delicious taste but also for the secret meaning of their bond only they could comprehend.

"I thought you said you'd whip up something to stuff my greedy stomach." He teased her, his eyes hanging on the two pizza boxes as the intoxicating tasty smell filled up the apartment.

She froze for a second and then lifted her head up to look into his mischievous eyes. "Let's just say I overestimated some of my cooking skills." She gave him a nudge into his arm to punish him for poking fun at her. If she had been evil enough, she could have served him the muck she'd managed to create. "Now go and take the plates so we could eat. I want to know how thing developed with Gibbs."

He was so surprised by her knowledge of the visit he had paid to Gibbs that he barely registered the pat on his backside as she stressed her order. "How do you...?" He asked in puzzlement as Ziva rolled her eyes and went to get the plates by herself.

"I don't have to be a psychic to know. You didn't call me, you didn't text me and yet, you still weren't home when you were supposed to be." She chastised him for his silent treatment with a hint of amusement in her smile. "Either you have a mistress I don't know about, and then you're dumb for not even attempting to excuse yourself, or you went speak to Gibbs and you expected me foreknow it."

He watched as she masterfully transferred the pizza on the two large plates, settling down on the couch with her legs under her, patting the empty place next to her. He joined her there as she also opened the two bottles of beer, handing him one of them. Thoughtfully, he took a bite from his pizza while she turned on the TV, flipping through the channels to find something unobtrusive.

Slowly but certainly, he then proceeded to tell her about everything that had happened in the Gibbs' basement. He didn't omit any detail, mentioning Gibbs' apparent eagerness to comment on their relationship and how he had cut him off, the walls he had had to break to make the older man talk to him because he'd been giving him only a cold shoulder again, but Tony had refused to give up this time.

He told her how Gibbs had eventually become more talkative and given him the insight into his feelings and emotions regarding Tony's way to deal with Gibbs' unavailability due to his injury and their subsequent clashes because Gibbs hadn't seen him as a friend anymore. That his subconscious intention had been to force Tony to make mistakes so no one could call him out on his own.

And then he described the moment when Gibbs had refused to let go of his leadership position, as well as his surrogate fatherhood, and instead, he'd let go of Tony as his protégé. In a serious tone, he talked about the offer to have his own team and the time he'd been given to think about it and consult it, and then just announce his decision. He also didn't forget to refer to the suggested arrangement of taking turns in the leadership until the paperwork would be appropriately processed.

Ziva listened to him carefully and didn't make any move to interrupt him, leaving all her remarks to herself. It seemed that Gibbs had really taken her words to his heart and finally managed to find some balance between the two roles he symbolized for Tony. It was the most reasonable concession of all, one that should be beneficial for their personal and professional lives alike.

"So, what do you think?" He asked her curiously when he was done with describing the events in the basement. "Am I ready and competent enough to do this?"

She laid her plate aside and turned sideways to face him. "Of course you are! I think you should definitely take it." She reasoned vigorously, swelling with pride for his adroit skills. "It's the logical outcome of your career, Tony. I know that working without Gibbs might feel weird to you but you must make some sacrifice so as to fix your relationship with him."

She had to admit that Gibbs was right, albeit grudgingly. She would rather see him to make way bigger sacrifice than just letting go of Tony, considering what kind of sacrifices Tony had already made for him. But if it was a viable path to salvation of their relationship, she was willing to support it. Not to mention that just as McGee needed to step out of Tony's shadow, Tony needed to step out of Gibbs' shadow once and for all.

"Do you really believe so?" He questioned her sincerity. He wasn't hostile, though, he was just genuinely curious because he had reasons for doubting her. "Do you think I can gain such respect and lead some team? Because whenever I was a Team Leader, you were sapping my confidence and questioned my abilities."

He would lie if he said that he hadn't been hurt by her behaviour bordering with animosity when they had been in work, while being quite friendly to him when they had been alone. Until certain point that he couldn't determine, she'd been always derisive towards him and his leadership, mocking him whenever she'd sensed his weak spot. And being Mossad back then, she'd known where exactly to stab him.

She stared back at him, lowering her eyes in shame for a while. She was aware of her contradictory behaviour but it was hard for her to explain it. On one hand, she still hadn't trust Tony enough to put her life into his hands, yet she'd been sharing with him things she'd never said to anyone. Simply, she'd trusted him on a personal level, but when it came to the work one, she hadn't had enough confidence in him.

Maybe it had been given by the fact that she'd been used to work with the best and Gibbs retiring or letting Tony to lead felt as if she had taken a step back and she'd felt that she had nothing new to learn. Or maybe by the fact that she had been close to Tony more than to everyone and desperately tried to squash the sprouting feelings for him by giving into them in privacy, but vehemently fighting against them in work where she'd felt more confident and insults with mockery had always worked the best.

"That was in the past, Tony. Bury it and leave it alone." She said carefully, lifting her eyes back to him bravely. "I was different and things generally were different. And I never meant it that you are a bad agent."

He knew that she had changed and truth to be told, she'd stopped with it once she'd left Mossad for good. He still couldn't help but to wonder whether she'd still had the same opinion, though. The things she'd said to him got under his skin for a long time and although he was convinced about his capability, the doubts kept nagging him. Maybe because he found difficult to be a match to such a legend like Gibbs.

"But you said..." He protested but was silenced by her immediately with a wave of her hand.

"I know what I said. And I still mean it." She clarified resolutely, leaving him speechless. "You are not Gibbs and you will never be. And thank God for that. Gibbs is Gibbs. You are you."

It was one of the things that had always angered her. He'd tried so much to be like Gibbs, yet in the same time not to be like him that he was constantly torn between these two desires. She'd never told him so directly, but she'd tried many times before to subtly indicate him that he could be better than Gibbs if he admitted that such thing can happen. And because of the inability to admit it, he'd never let loose his real skills.

"Your problem is that you've always tried so much to fill Gibbs' shoes. But you can never do it, Tony, because you don't simply have to." She tried to convince him, suddenly being quite passionate about the whole thing. At least her gestures were the proof of her zeal. "You're skilful and original which makes you different and that's good because you don't need to become someone's copy."

Her outburst astonished him to the point that he wasn't able to move or say anything. He could only idly sit and stare at her, letting her words to energize him and give him the healthy amount of confidence to convince himself that the decision to create his own team was the right one. It felt invigorating to have someone who believed in him like that. He now understood how important for her the same amount of faith he had in her was.

"Yes, Gibbs gave you the basics and helped you to shape into a competent agent, but the rest is just you, Tony. Your achievements, your skills, your maturity and ability to lead – that's all just you." She didn't slacken off in her enthusiasm to prove him that he was capable of leading his own team. "Being different doesn't mean that you're worse."

She took a deep breath to recover her strength. "You just have to accept it because it's here," she kept insisting, putting her hand on his chest and his erratically beating heart, "in you, and if you embrace it, you can achieve anything you please."

" _Experience has shown, and a true philosophy will always show, that a vast, perhaps the larger portion of truth arises from the seemingly irrelevant." – Edgar Allan Poe_

He took her hand and kissed it gently to appreciate her gesture. "Okay, I get it." He told her to sign that she had convinced him and her arguments were compelling. "Thank you."

She opened her palm and intertwined their fingers tightly. "You're welcome." She responded calmly as the excitement from proving her point started to dissipate from her body. She just wanted him to understand that he could accomplish many things even without Gibbs constantly breathing on his neck.

"I'm going to talk to Gibbs tomorrow and tell him that I accept it." He smiled at her appreciatively and squeezed her hand.

"You don't need more time to think about it or consult it with anyone else?" She asked him as he toyed with the fingers of her hand, rubbing them sensually and sending shivers down her spine.

He shrugged his shoulders and looked deeply into her eyes. "No. Your opinion matters the most." He said and leaned forward to kiss her.

Her arms went immediately around his neck to bring him closer to her and he obeyed, burying his tongue deeper into her mouth. With a moan, she started to lie back on the couch and he with her, covering her body with his. For the rest of the evening, they kept bill and coo in the living room while watching a movie, just savouring the feeling of being in each other's arms.

_**The End of Chapter 27** _


	28. Chapter 28

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 28** _

It seemed that cuddling in the bed was becoming their daily morning routine. Somehow they had both woken up practically simultaneously, immediately nestling against each other to kill the merest gap between them and fit together so well like pieces of jigsaw. Her backside perfectly filled in his lap as he spooned her, his arms tightly wrapped around her while she held his hands and their legs were tangled together in a lovely web.

She loved the feeling of his nose nuzzling her neck through her hair and be enveloped in the warmth of his masculine embrace. Originally, she had had in mind to wake up early and go jogging as she had been used to for years. That was one of the tradition she had felt no reason to change. But she couldn't resist the appealing notion of lying in the bed with him, savouring the tranquil wordless moment.

She'd never been with anyone where silence didn't sign awkwardness, agitation or anger. She hadn't been used to this comfortable, pleasant and peaceful quiet. It surprised her how easy was to accept that she didn't need to say any words to assure herself that everything was alright. She just _knew_. And such knowledge was elevating to say the least.

It wasn't until his soft and gentle caresses changed, eliciting a completely different kind of warmth within her, when she realized that it was a work day. She threw a look on the nightstand where their photo from Paris dominated the place, checking the alarm clock to see what time it was. To her surprise and partial relief, his presence in bullpen was required in an hour.

"Tony, you have to go to work." She scolded him without any hint of annoyance in her voice. She had her reasons for refusing to go further and become engrossed in receiving and giving pleasure. Yet, she had no intention to confide to Tony about it. Certain intimate things were just still too delicate to share easily.

He gave a purr against the sensitive skin on her neck, sending shivers down her spine. "I still have a minute or two to cuddle with my girlfriend." He whispered into her ear, nipping at her earlobe sensually.

She rolled onto her back, forcing him to retreat his hands from her chest where his fingers started to rub her nipples. "Yes, you do. But you do not want _just_ to cuddle." She said with a gasp as he slowly caressed her belly, causing a tugging feeling inside.

He pulled his head back and studied her for a brief second. "Ah, I get it. We need the bigger bed, right?" He assessed with a smile, nudging her nose with his.

"Yes. I was actually thinking about going bed hunting today." She replied sweetly, relieved that he didn't question further her refusal of intimate activities.

"You won't wait for me?" He feigned his shock and she chuckled in response. "Okay, I have to admit that I loved your bedroom in Tel Aviv, so I completely trust you in choosing the best bed."

Hearing his words about trust worked like a miracle on her and she turned into a mush in a second. Securing her hands around his neck, she pulled his head down for a kiss full of gratitude and passion he could barely grasp. But he kept up with her, kissing her deeply and intensifying his caresses on her belly, although he knew that it wouldn't lead anywhere. The simple thought that he could turn her on so effortlessly, though, was priceless.

"Something else on your schedule today?" He asked her when they parted, completely out of breath.

She nodded in positive and reached wither her fingers in his hair. "I have an invitation from Jimmy and Breena to go see Victoria." She said with a smile, slipping her hand on his cheek to caress it with the back of her fingers lovingly.

"Aw, you're gonna love her. She's gorgeous." Tony cooed and closed his eyes to savour the delightful feeling of her caresses. "Quite a wonder what the Autopsy Gremlin's been able to create. Not to mention what kind of beauty he was able to make his wife."

He received a headslap for his mockery at Jimmy's expense from her, his eyes flying open with hurtful expression. "For your information, DiNozzo, Jimmy is a wonderful, caring and kind-hearted man who happens to be also very quirky and adorably clumsy." She scolded him, although she was aware that he'd been joking. "But some women love that in men."

"Really?" He asked her, his face turning into an amused one.

She measured him up and down sceptically. "Oh, do not act as if you did not know." She called his bluff. "When you know it will get you a smile from a woman, you can be quirky and adorably clumsy, too."

He laughed out loud but agreed with her unconditionally and proved it with a fiery kiss. She gave in to it quickly and without protests but soon, she started to be a little bit restless. His endless caresses of her belly bordered with some sort of an obsession and it raised an unsettling feeling inside her. The anxiety seized her forcefully and even though she tried to fight it off, it was winning.

She hoped that he wouldn't notice but he could barely miss her squirming attempts to break free out of his warm hands. At first, he considered it as teasing, just to remind to him that he really was supposed to go to work soon, but then he registered the change of mood in her. Something was going on in the over-analytical brain of hers, he was sure about that.

"What's wrong?" He asked her directly, releasing her lips and ceasing the movement of his hands.

"Nothing." She lied automatically and looked away from as if it could stop him from pressing the issue. Which it didn't, of course, as he kept staring at her with the most intense and questioning gaze. She couldn't reveal the real reason of her distress, though, because she was afraid of his reaction and so she came up with something different. "It's just... I guess I partially agree with you."

He raised his eyebrow at her, prompting her to expand her sentence because he was kind of lost in her train of thoughts. "I mean, I have never thought that Jimmy would be the first one from our little group to get married and have kids." She explained her point of view, not meaning it in a bad way. She'd just had a different vision of future back then. "And look at him, he was actually the only one of us who really went for it."

Not knowing what to really think and being careful enough to rather remain silent than to say something he might regret later, he bit his bottom lip contemplatively. "True." He voiced his agreement and rolled off her, hanging his legs over the rim of his bed. "I really should get up and get ready for work."

Ziva kept lying in the bed and watched as the door of the bathroom shut behind him. Then she gave out a sigh of relief and started to think feverishly how to get herself at ease because she knew that she couldn't hide her agitation from him far too long. He was nosy and caring enough to conduct an investigation of his own and she really had no intention to make things between them go wrong.

Due to the abrupt changes in her life, she hadn't had enough time or space to think about it but this morning had actually reminded her that her period was supposed to start yesterday. Not that she had always had a regular period, quite the contrary actually. But for the last year or so, she could rely on her inner biological clock and she could tell immediately that it had been coming.

She tried to reason with herself that it might have been caused by all the stress and change of environment but there was a slight doubt inside her mind that it could mean something else. After all, she'd had a plenty of unprotected sex with Tony in the last week and she'd been too caught up in the moment to consider the necessary biological facts that could lead to pregnancy.

Although they'd touched the subject of having kids during their love-making on the yacht, she still wasn't sure about his reaction to the possibility of a child. Talking about it was way different than actually standing in front of the 50 % chance that she could be pregnant. The first one seemed to be in a distant future, the latter one required a bright sense of responsibility.

And honestly, she wasn't sure about her reaction, either. She wanted it all – husband, kids, family... But it would be all so unforeseen, so fast. They would be rushing into the unknown with the speed of light without any securities. She wanted to be prepared or at least anticipate that something like that might come. She was ready to face the reality, anyway, but she would still welcome if she could plan such a thing.

With a huff, she leapt out of the bed and sauntered to the kitchen to fix a coffee for herself and breakfast for both. Her thoughts kept coming and leaving and she had ceased her actions for a couple of seconds to take a few deep breaths. She needed some emotional balance and relieve the stress because the opposite certainly didn't have a good influence on her female clockwork.

There was no need to panic. Every doctor would tell her that one month of a missed period wasn't a disaster and if she was afraid of being pregnant, she should take a test first but also keep in mind that the test wouldn't be most likely conclusive because it was hard to determine pregnancy so soon after having sex. She was sure that there were some alternative methods to find out but she was willing to wait.

For now, she was able to throw it behind her head and focus on more important things at hand, like settling in the apartment and fixing her relationship with people. If her period failed her next month, she would try to do something about it then – for example find a gynaecologist which seemed as a logical step. She could actually try her luck with her old doctor she had come to appreciate and who had been aware of her case history.

In the meantime, Tony splashed his face with water for an umpteenth time so he would avoid his own gaze in the mirror. He felt horrible for brushing her off and leaving for bathroom, instead of picking up on the hints she might be giving him. But he'd bungled so many things in his life that he rather retreated and gave himself a little bit more time to think.

There was something wrong with her for sure. And it must have happened during the night or this morning because she hadn't been like that at all yesterday. He wished to be a mind-reader to delve deeper into her brain and examine it to find out what she was hiding from him. But that was impossible so he had to be self-sufficient with his own findings between the lines of her words.

He would like to know if what she had said about Jimmy could mean a hint from him that she expected him to ask her to marry him and voice his desire to have children with her. Or if it had been just a statement of a truthful fact. And if it had been a hint whether he was supposed to do it right now or if it was an inquiry for their mutual future. Maybe she was testing his willingness to commit.

And if he was supposed to be honest, he had no problems to drop on his knee right at this moment and ask her if she wanted to share her life with him for eternity. He wouldn't hesitate to accept the responsibility coming with fatherhood and establish a family. He didn't care that they would be rushing with a rocket speed towards the great unknown. It felt right because that was what his heart wanted and desired.

There was one big problem, though, a problem that could be hardly overlooked. Considering his trust issues, he would have a hard time to convince her about his pure intentions to join their lives together with an unbreakable bond through marriage and parenthood. She might decline his proposal by accusing him of finding ways to bind her to him forever from the fear that she might leave him again.

That was why he postponed his plans of proposal for now, reasoning that he needed to prove both her and himself that he trusted her again, especially after the scene he had made yesterday. Not to mention to give her time to settle back in D.C. and help her to reform her friendships and give himself time to adjust to his new work position and changes in his life.

Then, he could proceed to crafting the perfect moment to propose and tell her that if she wished to have kids, he was more than ready to participate. It could delay his promotion to be a leader of a his own team but he'd already learnt a hard way that there were more important things than work. And nothing could make him so content in life than to create a little being with the woman he immeasurably loved.

With a proud look on his reflection, he dried his face with a towel and exited the bathroom, finding the bed empty. The sound of TV and her comments under her breath gave him enough clues to ascertain that she was sitting in the living room, glossing the events happening in the world with her characteristic attitude. That brought a huge smile on his face as he chose a suit for the day in his wardrobe.

When he was dressed, he came out of the bedroom with an undone tie around his neck and prepared backpack on his shoulder. She looked over at him with a smile and lifted the plate with a sandwich to him so he could grab it. He immediately took a bite, humming in appreciation because that thing was damn good. Her skills over sandwiches were still as good as he remembered.

She put down the cup of her coffee and went to arrange his tie in an appropriate fashion while he kept swallowing bite after bite. "If I remember correctly, you mentioned that Gibbs should have most of my old stuff in his house." She said as she adjusted the tie knot around his neck.

"Yeah, he should. At least he didn't mention anything about getting rid of it." Tony answered between the chews. "I'll ask to be sure, though."

Ziva stepped away from him and measured him up and down to assess her work and his attire in general. "That would be great. I would love to go through it and throw away everything useless." She announced and stepped back into his embrace because he opened his arms to invite her. "It will take maybe a couple of weeks for my things to arrive so I should have some reserve."

He nodded to agree with her brilliant idea and finished the sandwich so he could use both of his hands to hold her in his arms. "I'll let you know and we'd meet in front of Gibbs house after I'm finished tonight, okay?" He suggested, happy that the previous awkwardness seemed to be gone between them.

She nodded and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him soundly to say goodbye for the day. "Love you." She confessed, feeling way calmer than a couple of minutes ago.

"Love you, too." He replied and gave her one last peck on her cheek before putting his coat on and shutting the door behind him, leaving for work.

* * *

An adorable moan came out of the tiny mouth of the fragile beautiful creature that Victoria Elizabeth Palmer was. She stirred in the arms of the woman who was holding her and who couldn't fight back the enormous smile plastered on her face. Victoria recognized that it certainly wasn't her mother or father but she felt secure with the unfamiliar person, anyway. Her parents were near, she knew it.

There weren't enough words for Ziva to describe the feeling of cradling the baby girl in her arms, watching as she closed her eyes and started to breathe evenly. She felt elated and honoured because this frail and vulnerable person whose only way to defend was to start crying, apparently trusted her enough to contently fall asleep. She had never expected to be received so well.

Carefully, she started to rock her in her arms to help her reach even deeper sleep babies needed so much. A Hebrew lullaby came to her mind and she started to sing it softly, yet quietly so only Victoria could hear it. Tony had been right, she was gorgeous and Ziva fell in love with her instantly. Suddenly, her missing period didn't bother her that much because if a result could be so pretty, she was all up for it.

"She senses your calmness." Breena remarked with a smile as she approached her and took back Victoria into her arms.

Ziva smiled at her in response and watched as Breena put Victoria into the cradle, covering her with a blanket. Then she straightened back up, turned on the baby monitor and gestured Ziva to leave the room, closing the door from the baby's room behind them. It was a relief to her that Victoria had finally fallen asleep without any problems or crying scenes. Believe it or not, there was also a downside to being a parent.

Ziva went back to the living room and thanked Jimmy for the cup of tea he had prepared to her while she had been enjoying her time with his daughter. "She is miraculous, Jimmy." She complimented him on his offspring and he appreciated it with a nod. "But what happened with the adoption you guys wanted to do?"

She recalled her admiration when she'd heard that Breena and Jimmy decided to execute such a selfless act and take in a parentless child. Both had a heart on the right place, full of undying and relentless urge to help people in need without wanting anything in return. They were perfect together and it made her really happy. They were undeniable evidence that true love existed.

Breena and Jimmy looked at each other with bitter expressions because remembering the events from almost two years ago was still painful. "We made it to our own birth mother and bonded with her for months. We were so glad she chose us." Jimmy explained to her with a bittersweet smile. Despite the way the whole thing had ended, he was actually grateful for this experience.

"The feeling when the day she was due came and then went into labour was so incredible." He reminisced as Breena squeezed his shoulder for support because she knew that it wasn't easy for him to talk about it. "I was so ready to be a father, to have a son."

His voice broke at the end of the sentence as the emotions took better of him. No one could ever understand how he felt when they'd rushed to the hospital to be there during the delivery, experience it and see the little baby boy, only to be left with a letdown when the birth mother had changed her mind. It'd been even worse because he had comprehended her reasons and couldn't get mad at her under any circumstance.

Yet, returning back to their apartment with everything ready for the newborn baby was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do. The furnished child room with all the necessities had been a painful reminder of a crushed hope and he had asked Breena to remove most of it. Thankfully for him, she had been way stronger than him and had taken care of pretty much everything.

Ziva had the feeling that it hadn't ended up the way they wished for but she knew better than to interfere into the grieving process. She only casted a questioning look at Breena who nodded solemnly to confirm her suspicion. "She decided to keep the baby." Breena informed her and gratefully accepted the comforting hand squeeze from her husband.

"I am so sorry." Ziva expressed her sympathy to the couple she'd witnessed to fall in love. She couldn't imagine the feeling of emptiness they had had to go through.

Both smiled at her with gratitude. "I don't hold it against her. I eventually understood her decision once I gave a birth myself. It's really a feeling second to none." Breena said and took a biscuit from the coffee table. "I actually happen to see her quite often. The boy grows like a weed and she got her happy ending. The father of the boy turned out to be more responsible than she first anticipated."

The situation of their birth mother had been very dismal with the father of the baby refusing to acknowledge anything and she had had no finance to support herself and the baby. Despite the disappointment they had experienced, Breena had been happy to find out that after she had decided to keep the boy, her situation had improved significantly. The father had absolutely melted upon the sight of his son and had decided to establish a family with all the positives and negatives.

"But I don't deny that I was really disillusioned at first." Breena added and finished off the biscuit while taking a sip from her cup of coffee. "I wanted to try again but you know... just the notion of going through all of that again, attach ourselves emotionally to someone and then be left empty-handed... I don't know what would I do if we didn't have each other."

Ziva nodded in response and gulped the lump in her throat. Although Breena was speaking about a boy they had been supposed to adopt, the words she had said could be applied on what Tony had been through while searching for her in Israel. He had gone through hell to find her, he had attached himself to her emotionally and then had been left empty-handed.

She shook off the agonizing guilt, though. One of the reasons why she could sit here and listen to the life hardships of Palmer family was that she had done something right and returned to be with Tony, the love of her life. She should focus on proving her love to him all over again, and not on how much pain he had been through because of her. The positive thinking was the key to a peaceful mind.

"Yeah, that's why I was sceptical about trying it again." Jimmy agreed after planting a loving kiss onto the forehead of his lovely wife. "But an inspirational speech from Gibbs gave me that kick I needed to pull myself together."

Ziva nostalgically nodded her head with a smile, recalling those many inspirational speeches from her former boss. When he wanted to be, he could be very stimulating and was able to give people more confidence, despite choosing hard ways to do so. But that was because he knew that the best things in life didn't come to people easily. One had to earn it, show some effort.

It was one of the reasons why she had been so shocked to hear about his behaviour towards Tony. At first, she'd attributed it to his almost lethal experience but Tony hadn't been kidding. After talking to him face to face, she could ascertain that Gibbs had really changed the way Tony had claimed. The more she was relieved that they had been able to talk it out and find some solution.

"We took some time to recover, of course, but man proposes and God disposes." Jimmy grinned hugely and looked on his wife in adoration. "Suddenly, Breena was pregnant."

He had a huge respect to his significant other to carry their baby for nine months and then taking care of her like if it was nothing, while he kept going mad over the puniest details. She and Victoria had become his treasure, one he would protect at all costs with his own life if he had to. He was so grateful and proud for the family he had around him – both the core and work one.

"Well, maybe that is how it meant to be." Ziva assessed knowingly. Some hardships were difficult to overcome but lessons from them were invaluable. She could tell stories about it. "You created a gorgeous baby girl."

Breena, stroking Jimmy's hair lovingly, beamed at her. "Thank you. But what about you? Is there some chance for a little DiNozzo on the way soon to be a friend to our darling?" She asked her craftily with a playful wink. Jimmy had spilled the beans to her about Tony and Ziva immediately after he had closed the door behind himself yesterday.

At first, Ziva froze in fear that Breena might have noticed her nervousness over the missed period but then she mentally assessed that it was impossible. Breena wasn't a witch doctor or something to know if a woman had period or didn't. It was just a logical outcome of their previous talk and considering the reason why she'd returned, the question had made sense.

"Wow, slow down here. We have been together just for a week." She laughed it off but she had to force the smile in the corners of her mouth. "I am aware that we have known each other for years but it is still a bit too soon to get down to baby business."

Jimmy threw her an apologetic look because it wasn't the first time Breena was pushing the baby issue with his colleagues. She'd already tested the waters with McGee, inquiring him about their readiness with Delilah to start a family, and cornered Bishop to remind her that she'd been married long enough to realize that there were other things in life than just a career and it could actually make her relationship with Jake better.

"I get that, but you already talked about it, right?" Breena wasn't giving up on her desire to forever connect Jimmy's work family with his core one through friendship between two or more offspring from his colleagues. She knew how important his surrogate family was for him.

Ziva shrugged her shoulders leisurely and nodded in agreement. "Yes, we have touched upon the subject but still... I would love to be prepared for it, you know." She confessed and hid her face behind the cup of tea. "I mean, you guys were readying yourselves for it while for us, it would be out of the blue."

She stuck with this opinion she had formed in the morning. The speed with which she had changed her life – again – was incredibly tiring. She needed time to adjust to the new conditions, new way of life, living with a man, new school... Being a mother was something she longed for but she also wanted to have a word in when the right time for it was. And she knew that deep inside, Tony felt it the same.

"We are in a phase of enjoying each other right now. And I want to stay there for some time." She explained further, trying not to give in to the blush creeping into her cheeks. The indescribable feeling of powerful love in her veins, giving her energy to breathe and live, was stronger than her, though.

Breena reached over to her and squeezed her hand understandingly. "No need to rush, of course. This phase you're in is one of the best ones." She assured her with a wink, happy for both her and Tony, just as Jimmy was.

"Yeah, it really is." Ziva agreed dreamily but sobering up quite quickly. "That is why I want to be careful because although we have already talked about it, I am not really sure how serious Tony really is with his preparedness to be a father."

Jimmy and Breena exchanged a meaningful look, one that wasn't accompanied by any words, yet those two knew exactly what the other was thinking. "Oh, he is serious. You can bet on it." Jimmy assured her with a distinct hint of amusement in his voice.

"How do you know that?" Ziva asked him in puzzlement, surprised by the blatant certainty Jimmy wasn't even trying to hide.

He chuckled and pushed his glasses closer to his eyes. "Well, a couple of months ago, we went for a drink together plus McGee because they wanted me to relax after the worries I had over the flu Victoria had suffered." He explained and winced a little bit as the dreadful memories of the fragile body of his daughter being plagued by the atrocious illness came back to him. "And we kind of sank into the conversation about having a family and children."

He described how especially Tim had taken interest in the conversation, revealing his thoughts about the future he and Delilah had in front of them, although he'd still been too reserved about doing the big step forward and propose to her. Tony had been silent most of the time, disgruntled because of another quarrel with Gibbs, muttering under his breath some intelligible words.

Since they'd wanted to lift up his mood, Jimmy and Tim had done their best to include him into the conversation but it'd proven to be a mistake. Tony had bitterly announced that marriage and kids, a family life, had been unattainable to him. He'd confessed about a talk he had had with Zoe about these topics when she'd resolutely determined that she hadn't been bothering with it at all because her career was more important to her.

"Wait a second." Ziva raised her hand up to interrupt him, a pang of hurt harming her heart. "He was planning his future with Zoe and wanted to have kids with her?"

Even though she believed everything Tony had told her about his relationship with Zoe, she couldn't help but feel hurt over the revelation. Not only because it meant that the love of her life had apparently tried to find his happiness somewhere else, but also because it had reminded her that she was one of the reasons of their break-up and destroyed any chance of the potential future plans.

"That's not a way to put it, no." Jimmy immediately rushed to expand his claims, worrying that Ziva could have misunderstood him and Tony would strangle him in that case. "He added that he didn't actually care but he just wondered what was wrong with him, what kind of malfunction he had."

Ziva blinked in confusion and motioned with her hand to urge him to go on. "Zoe didn't show any interest in him beyond being his girlfriend, Wendy left him practically at the altar and you left him, too." Jimmy explained with a pleading glance at his wife to enter into the conversation because he was starting to be lost. "He just mused what it was about him that he couldn't pique enough interest of any woman to connect her life forever with his."

The worst thing on coming back to the United States and encountering old friends was to hear what Tony had been through while she had been away. This had been no exception. He hadn't confided in to her with such thoughts but she attributed it to the fact that once they'd gotten together, it simply hadn't plagued his mind anymore. It didn't make it any easier to hear it, though.

"I did not..." She started to defend herself instinctively in the need to stress that she'd never made any promise to Tony regarding their relationship. The situation between them two and half years ago had been completely different.

"I know, Ziva, and it wasn't meant to sound like a reproach." Jimmy told her and sent her an apologetic smile. "I'm just telling you what Tony was feeling."

He waited for a second before continuing to ensure her consent to do so. He was aware of how uneasy had to be to hear it all. "I think that especially after making peace with Jeanne, the desire to settle down and commit just naturally matured in him. He told me that he realized what is important in life and that he plans to finally do something for it." He explained, grinning widely. He wanted for Tony to be happy but he'd never expected such a wonderful and pleasant turn in his life.

"So, I honestly expected him to break up with Zoe." He admitted and Breena seconded his claim with a couple of nods. "He really wants family and children, so he doesn't want to waste the time anymore with someone who doesn't share his dreams."

Ziva had to take a deep breath to calm down her erratically beating heart. Today was apparently full of surprises – from the realization of her missing period to secret desires of Tony's heart she hadn't been aware of. She knew that he loved her and wanted to be with her but she had never anticipated that he was that far and was already sure about the things he would love to achieve in the future.

"He has not told me anything about it." She said pensively more to herself than to Jimmy and Breena. "I mean, we talked about us, of course. But not into such depth."

Maybe they should have sat down and discuss these important things, instead of focusing on the immediate future and getting back to D.C. But they somehow foresaw and reckoned what the other wanted. That had been clear from the beginning when Tony had offered to her to live with him. She hadn't hesitated to agree. It was a mutual and silent agreement between them that the desire to spend the rest of their lives together also included marriage and children. In due time but nevertheless.

"That's because it's always been you." Breena voiced her opinion with a teasing smile on her face. "Even when his biological clock started ticking loudly and he started to ponder the necessary changes he must do in his life to achieve what he longs for, you were always on his mind. He doesn't have to tell you because everything about him just screams with 'you are the one'."

She pointed her finger at Ziva to stress her words about Tony logically assuming the future development of their relationship and the Israeli woman blushed, smiling shyly. "And I'm positive it's you, Ziva. The other day when he held Victoria in his arms, I couldn't stop myself from telling him how natural he looks and when he becomes a father, he'll surely be the best." Breena told her and avoided masterfully the reproachful glance of her husband.

"He just sadly replied to me that he would love to but having a family is something you should do with the right person." She continued and this time, she gave Jimmy a meaningful look who returned it with undying devotion. "And while I found mine, his right person was unreachable for him. Which meant that there was a special someone for him but he couldn't get hold of her."

During those many moments she had discussed Jimmy's colleagues with him, she had expressed her guess that if Tony felt that way, he would probably resign soon and go search for Ziva to be with her. It was just a matter of time, or matter of him to be so frustrated and pissed with his current situation that it would force him to leave his job. Jimmy unconditionally agreed with her, although he didn't want the team to change again. To lose Ziva had been almost unbearable and he couldn't imagine what the team would look like if Tony quitted, too.

Ziva folded her arms and leaned her back against the armchair she was sitting in. Those two had given her a lot to ponder, not just about the future but also about the past. It was necessary for her to sit down with Tony and talk about the visions and wishes they both had. For the successful relationship, they had to keep off their usual misunderstandings and mindreading games, and the only way how to do it was to be honest and open with each other.

She didn't have any intention to push him to reveal what Jimmy and Breena had just told her. But she didn't want to get tired of this relationship by tiptoeing around each other without communicating what was important to communicate. So, she wanted let him know that whatever he hoped for to be in store in the future for them, she was on the same page with him. And if she had enough courage, maybe even tell him about the missing period.

* * *

Tony gave out a sigh of relief when the elevator door closed behind him and he pushed the button to go down to the laboratory. He spent most of his day by having a private talk with Gibbs about accepting his offer about leading a team of his own and then announcing the decision to Vance who looked delighted, albeit pleasantly surprised. It had been simply a very busy day.

For a moment, he pondered whether Gibbs and Vance had intrigued against him in the past because Vance had informed him that one of the senior agents was retiring in six months and none of his subordinates were experienced enough to take over the team. Vance had been preparing for splitting them up and assigning them to other teams but Tony's request had apparently got him out of a tight spot.

He wasn't forcing him to accept this group of people as a future team, Tony still had a free hand to choose whoever he wanted if everyone else agreed, of course. They would just switch the places with the other person. It was a better solution to the whole agency, either way. Gibbs was then allowed to find a new asset to his team and train the base of the new generation.

They all decided to let everyone know about the news tomorrow because Gibbs insisted that Ziva should be present during the promotion announcement – not only as his girlfriend but also as a former member of the team who had helped Tony to improve his skills and therefore had had a giant impact on his career. Astonished Tony had agreed with that suggestion, appreciating Gibbs' thoughtfulness.

Their secretiveness, though, had spiked interest of his two nosy colleagues. They both knew that they couldn't ever get past the wall of silence Gibbs was able to implement, so they had tried to break Tony and coax the desired information from him. Being detectives, they could put two and two together and after seeing Tony, Gibbs and Vance withholding something important for them, they knew that it was something about the team.

They had tried to attack Tony's weakest points but he had been holding out pretty well. Fortunately, they were completely wrong in their guesses – most of them concerned Ziva and her possible return to the agency, despite her stating earlier that she had nothing in plan of such sorts. It had taken a lot of strength to bite his tongue all the time and not to give the information away.

To prevent himself from divulgence of the secret, he had rather decided to take the refuge in the lab and take advantage of the Goth's presence there to talk to her. There was something on his mind, something both McGee and Ziva had brought to his attention about Abby's attitude and since it concerned him, he was the only who could do something about it.

The elevator dinged and the door opened in front of him. Massaging the nape of his neck to relieve the strain in his muscles, he went out and let his ears to adjust to the sound of the music Abby was listening in her lab. Even after all this time, he still had no idea what type of music genre it was and how Abby could work in such an environment but people differed in their tastes and needs so he guessed it was okay to her.

He saw her standing with her back to him, in her typical white lab coat and two pigtails on her head, ardently cleaning some of the laboratory equipment. "How are you today, Abbs?" He asked her loudly enough to be heard over the music sound but quietly enough so he wouldn't startle her.

"Tony!" She exclaimed and whirled around, immediately hanging her arms around him in a tight, friendly hug. "What brings you down here? Some case?"

Tony shook his head and accepted the chair she offered to him in the meantime. "No, not a case." He had to admit that this Christmas had been awfully quiet. No case thrill was involved, they had been just catching up on the paperwork. "It's a personal matter."

Abby's analytical brain immediately assessed which personal matter he had on his mind. Her smile faltered and her lips created a thin, starkly line. "What do you want to talk about then?" She asked him, rather pretending her ignorance than admitting that she knew what the suggested topic was.

"You know that very well, Abby." Tony sighed wearily and looked at her tellingly to sign her to drop whatever act she had decided to play.

She stared at him for a couple of seconds in complete silence, fighting the inner struggle and then she turned sideways from him, typing something on the computer. Tony didn't utter a word and just kept patiently sitting there, waiting. She could try block him out in any way she wished, he wasn't about to give up. He had come down here with a simple goal and he also wanted to easily achieve it.

"I haven't read all the emails, yet." She muttered when she couldn't stand his ingenuous stare any longer.

"What emails?" Tony asked her in return, having no idea what she was referring to.

She looked at him mistrustfully for a second. "You don't know?" She pressed but after he shook his head in puzzlement, she realized that he didn't act his confusion. "She apparently answered all of my emails but she just never hit the send button. She stored them for me on an USB flash so I could read them and understand more what was running through her mind."

She reached behind the white fabric of her lab coat and found the chain around her neck, pulling it out for him to see the USB flash attached to it like a lucky charm. Tony took it into his hands, looking at it in awe, amazed by the smart idea. Despite having the urge to ask Abby to copy the contents for him so he could read it, too, he resisted the temptation. He had known enough and it didn't seem right to poke his nose into a private conversation of his girlfriend and one of his best friends.

"Looks like something Ziva would do." He commented it, recalling the conversation he had had with Ziva in Israel about why she'd never reached out to them, revealing her struggles with overwhelming guilt. When they had been packing her stuff, he'd found some of the postcards she had mentioned she wrote. He'd managed to convince her to keep them as a reminder of what had once been and didn't have to be anymore.

"I'm not giving her any response until I'm finished with reading them." She announced, rattling with the chain as she put it back beneath her lab coat. "And even then I will _consider_ if I actually want to talk to her."

Tony nodded understandingly, clasping his hands in front of him in a gesture that he wasn't entirely finished yet. "I'm not here to plead with you for her. I absolutely recognize your right to be mad at her for yourself." He said and looked at her meaningfully.

"But?" She asked, sensing that the particular word was coming.

He took her by her hands to ensure her full attention. "Abby, I know you care about me and I really appreciate it. I'm so grateful for your urge to protect me, especially from myself because it's saved me a lot of troubles." He told her, looking insistently into her eyes. "But I don't want you to be mad at Ziva for me."

He completely understood that a large part of Abby's anger towards Ziva was based on her past treatment towards him. Abby loved Ziva as her friend but she had resented many times the way Ziva had been able to put him down, including the way she had left him heartbroken. It was no wonder then that she was now refusing to be friendly when she rightfully suspected that it might happen again. But for the sake of good relationships among all, it had to stop.

"After everything she had done to you?" Abby wondered angrily, yanking her hands away. He was being reckless, as always when it came to Ziva. "Who is gonna protect your heart when you're acting so carelessly?"

"Me." He deadpanned in all seriousness. "I'm taking full responsibility for my heart. If it gets broken, then it's my problem and not yours."

She folded her arms around her body and stared at him silently for a couple of eternal seconds. "So you trust her then?" She asked him calmly to give her the confirmation of his certainty.

He couldn't help but squirm because he so much wanted to show her his sureness but everything in his body was still doubtful. "No, not entirely. But I have to, I _need_ to learn how." He admitted hesitantly. "It's what she deserves and it won't help if someone still keeps reminding me to be careful because of what she's done before."

He had solemnly promised to her yesterday that he would start working on his trust towards her again. That he would be the confident rock she needed by her side. And he wasn't about to abandon this plan. Abby's care really was appreciated but he couldn't constantly live in eternal doubts she would serve him one after the other. He had to forget about the past, forgive and move on.

"I love her, Abby. And she loves me." He pointed out the obvious fact to convince his friend to be so worried for him.

Abby sighed in resignation and reached for the Israeli flag she had brought down there from Ziva's belongings. "I know. She told me that not long before she left." She said while playing with the flag between her fingers thoughtfully, pondering whether to stop meddling into their relationship or not. "She also listed all the reasons why it could never work between you two. Just loving you wasn't apparently enough."

"That was back then. Now she sees it can work." Tony countered patiently, imploring her with his eyes to believe Ziva's sincerity and good intentions. "Actually, since we've met she's proving to me how much she has changed and since we've been together she's showing me how much I mean to her."

They were all in such an awe that she'd come back that no one really considered the sacrifice she had had to make in order to be with him. He was aware of it, though, and that was why he insisted on giving Ziva the chance to prove them that she had no intention of leaving him. She had left everything she'd gained for him and moved elsewhere to start over without a single shadow of a doubt. And that deserved an appropriate recognition.

She looked him up and down to assess his confidence and mental state. She noticed the inerasable wrinkles of torment that had etched into his face over the time, but she had to admit that he looked contended and happy, more than she'd ever seen him. And she genuinely wanted him to feel that way, just as she wanted the same for Ziva. She just wished she could protect them both from everything bad, even themselves from time to time.

"Okay." She agreed eventually and returned the Israeli flag back on its place. "I'll try."

He immediately hugged her tightly in joy. "Thank you." He whispered gratefully as he planted a friendly kiss on the top of her head to emphasize his thankfulness.

She patted his back soothingly and hoped that she wasn't doing a mistake. But she knew that if he was in a need of help, she would go and help him anyway. That was what good friends were for. But she sincerely hoped that it wouldn't be needed. He'd been through enough bad and exhausting things, he deserved his share of happiness just like everyone else.

He let go of her and smiled at her for the last time, thanking her again and turning on his heel to leave, but then he suddenly stopped himself. "Oh and Abby, you might still be mad at her for yourself but at least admit that you still deeply care about her. There's no way you can deny that." He told her knowingly and she just gaped at him in shock.

He pointed his finger on her chest and smiled. "You put the USB flash on a necklace and you wear it around your neck. And that's a sign that it means something to you." He clarified in amused tone because it was a rare occurrence to render Abby speechless. "Just get over that anger inside you. It's better than to throw away a long-lasting friendship, especially when the apology is sincere."

He winked at her and disappeared around the corner, taking the elevator back up and ready to deflect all McGee's and Ellie's attempts to make him talk. Abby subconsciously reached her hand beneath her lab coat to grasp the USB flash and squeeze it, still paralyzed from the shock she had experienced after he had read her like a book. Maybe it was the time to stop being hurt and finally forgive.

She didn't want to drive Ziva away and lose her one more time. After all, she'd been one of her dearest friends. And friends were here to care about each other and share their toughest problems, as well as joys of life. And she had to admit that by giving her the USB flash with all the email answers, she had a very profound insight into Ziva's head which was something only a few privileged people could reach.

But her departure still hurt and she knew that it would hurt for a long time. She was willing to try, though, to suppress it and give Ziva the chance she was asking for. After all, if Tony had forgiven her and had managed to get her back, then Ziva really must have changed for better and she then really deserved another opportunity. And she earnestly missed her friend very much.

_**The End of Chapter 28** _


	29. Chapter 29

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 29** _

He was ready to call it 'the rule of three Fs' – fluffy, feathery and fleecy. At least that was how the mattress felt beneath his body. He'd never been lying on something so comfortable, so seemingly soft, yet precisely hard to send the aching muscles on his back to pleasant oblivion. It perfectly filled in the holes created by the curves of his figure, giving him the feeling of absolute bliss.

He turned on his side, then on his back again and then on the second side. Eventually, he ended up on his stomach, spreading his arms to their full width, trying to accustom to the unfamiliar sense of having a king-size bed. He looked up to appreciate the decorative engravings on the light wooden bed frame with two matching bedside tables on each side of the new bed his gorgeous and amazing girlfriend had purchased earlier that day.

With another 360° turn to enjoy the cosiness underneath, he heard the mentioned woman snicker in amusement. "You look like a dog rollicking with his new toy." She remarked, giggling and recalling Rex getting insane over the new stuff, showing his joy to his masters.

He sat up and wiggled his eyebrows on her. "Well, I certainly have in mind to rollick with you a lot in this heavenly piece of furniture." He said and patted the vacant place next to his side to invite her in.

She took a step towards him with a smile but then the alarm in the kitchen started beeping and she turned on her heel. "Oh, dinner!" She ran out of the bedroom to take care of their meals which she had been preparing, telling him over her shoulder to make up the bed neatly.

With a an exaggerated sigh, he went to do as she had commanded, manoeuvring his way around a couple of boxes they had brought from Gibbs' house with Ziva's stuff in it. Living most of his life alone, he did know how to make up a bed so he had absolutely no problems with it. His mother had died, his father had had different things on his mind and no one had done it for him in the boarding school. The amount of girlfriends he had lived with could be count on the fingers on one hand and for the last couple of years, he'd been living in this apartment all by himself. Chores weren't his favourite thing to do but he was absolutely capable of carrying them out.

After his day at work had ended, he had met up with Ziva at Gibbs' place as previously agreed. Gibbs had helped them to put those six boxes into the car, being way friendlier to Ziva than on the previous occasion and she had mirrored his stance. Top of the family iceberg had been when they had sat back into the car and Gibbs had waved at them like a father saying goodbye to his children, making Tony wonder how the hell things could have changed so radically.

He had learnt not to question it, though. If Ziva ever wanted to tell him what she had told to Gibbs yesterday, she would do it. Right now, she considered it as useless since Gibbs had made the compromise she had pushed him to do and so her mouth remained sealed, even though he had tried to coax her to reveal her secret. Either way, whatever it had been, it was miraculous in every sense of that word.

He plumped the pillows up again to give them the nice fluffy shape and went to the living room where she was just putting the plates with spaghetti Carbonara on the coffee table. She wanted to return for the orange juices in the kitchen but he stalled her by embracing her from behind and planting a huge, wet kiss on her cheeks. She giggled and playfully swatted his hands but made a little effort of making him to let go of her.

"I have to give you a credit, Miss David." He whispered into her ear and took delight in the shudder that went through her. "You can buy a fine bed."

"You should trust me more often then, DiNozzo." She countered teasingly, nudging his crotch with her backside. "It obviously pays off."

He laughed shortly, knowing very well where the jab was coming from and he had to admit that she could aim damn well. He released her and she sauntered to the kitchen, knowing very well that he was checking her out the whole time. He then seated himself on the couch, giving out a long, content sigh because he just loved the domestic feeling of living with her.

Despite offering it to her mindlessly and having absolutely zero doubts that they would get along, he had had some weaker moments during which he had questioned whether the decision was right. But the more time he was spending with her, the more he knew that there was nothing to be feared. He loved being around her and believed that nothing would change about this feeling.

He took a fork and dug into the pasta, humming in appreciation as he looked at his phone to be sure that he didn't have any missed call. "Why do you keep checking your phone?" She inquired once she caught him, putting down the glasses of the orange juice next to the plates.

"Huh?" He looked at her in confusion because he wasn't aware of how _often_ he was actually doing it.

"You have checked the phone at least seventeen times since we have left Gibbs' house." She pointed out and sat down beside him, watching as he slowly chewed. "You either expect some phone call or you have developed some serious addiction."

He chuckled and leaned over to her to kiss her on the top of her head in gratefulness that she observed him so much to be worried about the frequency of checking his phone. "Just my dad should be back already and he promised to call me. Nothing so far, though." He replied and took another bite of the delicious Italian food he would always praise to heavens.

"Why don't _you_ call _him_ , then?" She inquired and shoved the fork with winded up spaghetti into her mouth, smacking his hand when he tried to reach over for the remote control to turn the volume of the TV up.

He looked at her incredulously for a moment, changing the direction of his reaching hand towards the glass with orange juice. "Have you ever met me and my father?" He asked her half-jokingly, half-seriously. "That's not how it works between us."

She face palmed her face and shook her head at his stubbornness. "I thought you said that you are on a good terms." She muttered under her breath but he could hear every single word very clearly.

"We are on a good terms!" He assured her immediately and put the glass back down after he took a mouthful sip. "Some things just need more time."

She threw a critical eye on him to sign that the time he could spend with his father was getting shorter and he should cherish every moment. Their bickering was something that could be taken as enjoyable from time to time but he should consider that Senior wasn't getting any younger and something could have happened to him if he still hadn't called as he had promised.

"He's fine." Tony assured her in response to her pointed stare but the tone of his voice revealed that he was slightly worried. "I just don't want to call him first because he would wonder why and he would know that something's up."

Senior might not have been decorated as 'the best father ever' but he knew his son long enough to recognize that there had been some change in the life of his son, particularly if it concerned women. DiNozzos simply had a good nose for it, maybe because all the life-changing events in their lives more or less involved the gentle sex. Tony had no doubt that even a stupid phone call could reveal more than he intended.

"And I don't want him to know about us like that, I want to... surprise him." He said, knowing that if his father suspected anything, he was capable to go straight to Zoe and congratulate her on the engagement that had never happened. No one could ever guess the source of his current happiness and Senior was no exception. That was why he didn't want to give him any reason for suspicion. "Just to innocently invite him for a dinner or something and then introduce you."

She put her hand over his and squeezed it understandingly. "Okay." She agreed but raised a warning finger at him afterwards. "But if he does not call you until Thursday, you will call him, Tony."

He raised her hand and kissed it thankfully. "Whatever you wish, my queen." He cooed and her cheeks flared up with pleasure.

She hid her blush behind a giant portion of her meal she stuffed into her mouth. As always when he had called her with some endearment, she couldn't help but admire his way with words. He was simply capable of saying the words 'my queen' with such profound affection that she really felt like a true queen, revered by her beloved subject. Not to mention that his gaze spoke volumes.

He turned to his meal, too, checking his phone for once more. "And how was your day, aside of buying the amazing bed and moving boxes?" He asked her as they had talked about his day mostly, especially the tomorrow's promotion announcement and his successful attempts to dodge the questions of his two nosy colleagues.

"Like I mentioned in the morning, I went to visit the Palmers." She reminded him and her gaze softened. "You were so right, Victoria is absolutely gorgeous."

He smiled at her widely and nudged her shoulder teasingly to sign 'I-told-you-so' gesture. His eyes sparkled as she proceeded to tell him how honoured she had felt to be so well received by the tiny person who had peacefully fallen asleep in her arms. Seed of pure happiness sowed inside him as she spoke with content about the little bundle of joy of Jimmy and Breena Palmers.

"Then we had a little chat about their struggles with the adoption." She said and scraped the last delicious remnants of the Carbonara sauce from her plate with her fork. "And smoothly turned the talk to yours truly."

Tony arched his eyebrow curiously and downed his last portion with the rest of the orange juice. "You were talking about me?" He inquired with amusement, wondering what the autopsy gremlin and his better half could spill out about him.

"Yeah, specifically about your apparent desire to have children." She replied, trying to calm her thumping heart, gathering the courage to start talking about their future in this regard as she had promised herself after the talk she had had with Palmers.

He stared at her for a moment in silence, his forehead wrinkling under the effort to read her mind. But as most of the time, her motives for choosing certain direction for conversation remained a mystery to him. "And that's a bad thing?" He asked uncertainly in attempt to avoid any conflict.

"No, it is not a bad thing!" She exclaimed a little bit too loudly for her own liking as her voice skipped a couple of octaves up. "I mean... You did not mention anything when we were in Prague and although we touched upon that subject in Israel on that yacht, I guess I did not realize how serious you actually were about the whole thing."

She tried her best to withstand the heat wave that washed over her as the memories of their love-making on the yacht flooded her. His smirk certainly wasn't adding up to her self-control, either. When one gave it a deeper thought, the realization that they had had a conversation about the possibility of having a baby during the climax of their sexual intercourse was kind of... odd.

"It is just... surprising, I would say." She remarked and quickly stood up from the couch to open the bottle of wine they had prepared to drink after the dinner.

Tony just shrugged his shoulders casually. She wasn't the first one to express her astonishment over his claim that he wanted to establish a family. In all honesty, it had surprised him immensely, as well. However, his heart also knew very well who the mother of his children should be and since she had been far away from him at that moment, he had learnt how to shut it up.

"I admit that it might seem strange coming from me but that's how I feel." He said and accepted the glass of Cabernet Sauvignon from Israeli vineyards from her. "Can't stop the biological clock, I guess."

She flopped down on the couch next to him with her own glass in her hand. "Was it one of the reasons why you wanted to break up with Zoe?" She asked him carefully. She still couldn't get rid of the guilty feeling inside her, not to mention that the thought itself – Tony having children with Zoe – had woken up the jealous monster slumbering deep inside her heart.

Her brazenness didn't cease to amaze him but he liked that about her. For a woman who thrived on playing mind games, she could be pretty straightforward sometimes. "It was part of it, yes." He admitted and watched her hurtful expression. "But not in that sense that I would love to have children and she didn't. I just realized that she wasn't the one who could give me what I really wanted."

She swallowed hardly because his look was saying it all. _It's always been you._ Breena had said it and now she could see it written all over his face like a sign from the Fate. And she so much wanted to be the one and only for him just like he was the one and only for her. Doubts couldn't leave her in peace, though. Doubts if she ever could be worthy enough of such great happiness.

"Did... Did you think about having children with any other woman?" She asked him for an assurance that wasn't needed at all. Somehow, she just wanted to hear it from him and not from the second hand.

Tony, who considered it as a sure thing that she was the only one for him, shrugged his shoulders casually. "A long time ago I thought I would have a family with Wendy but that didn't work out." He looked at her somewhat suspenseful face and touched her cheek gently. "Why are you asking?"

Her breath hitched in that moment, not only because of the delicacy and tenderness of his touch, but mostly because she was trying to work up her courage to tell him about her missing period. She struggled against her tight throat that suddenly constricted in fear of his reaction to the possibility of having the baby in nine months. But there was one step she had to do first, to tell him about her own stance on this.

"Well, I guess that since we are now together we should discuss it deeper." She replied and turned sideways to face him properly, taking him by both of his hands, forcing him to put away the glass of wine.

"I just want you to know..." she started, looking into his expectant and kissable face and squeezing his hands with her sweaty ones, "that whatever you wish for and whatever your dreams are regarding children, I share all of this with you."

That earlier Jimmy's statement about Tony wondering about his apparent malfunction had made her think very profoundly and she had come to the conclusion that he needed to hear it. She wanted him to know that she was interested in him past the pretty face, amazing sex and his caring personality. That she desired to be his everything and give him what he longed for.

In the moment she had let the words out of her mouth, something inside Tony clicked on the right place. For eternity, his personality had been torn between what he personally wanted and what people expected of him. This duality had dated back to his childhood when his mother had died and he had been forced to adjust to the new life his father had tried to build around them. It had been directing his decisions for years, his personal wishes usually being on the submissive side.

Now, he felt like a well-rounded individual who didn't have to keep his desires locked up, but could let them out, share them and realize them. The feeling of integrity was pervading every single fibre of his being and his confidence rose to dizzying heights. The amount of love and affection he had felt towards the woman in front of him, who made all of this possible, was indescribable.

He leaned in and crashed his lips on hers in a fervent, yet gentle kiss. He didn't dare to damage the two delicately soft features of her face he so much loved to touch with his mouth, eliciting feelings of bliss beyond description. On the contrary, he wanted to worship them to heavens and show his gratitude for her need to express her thoughts and assure him about their mutual understanding.

She accepted his kiss willingly but eventually pulled away, albeit not coldly as she longed for staying in his warm embrace. "The important question is when?" She whispered breathlessly across his lips, trying to pull herself together and not to seem to be too needy and horny.

He licked his lips and pulled away as well, but only a couple of millimetres so he could look directly into her face. "I don't want to push you into anything or make you feel pressured or obliged, Ziva." He assured her, absolutely aware of the short time they had actually been together and all the stuff that was still in front of them. "I want this to be our mutual decision, our mutual feeling that it's the right time."

And that was the moment she decided to keep her secret about the missing period for herself. She didn't want to get his hopes up, only to be crushed a month later. And if it meant the happiness they both wanted, then it could be appropriately celebrated later anyway. Now, it would just throw them into a whirl of uncertainty, pressure and more stress that might lead to false positive tests and so on.

" _There are some secrets which do not permit themselves to be told." – Edgar Allan Poe_

No, she was determined to throw it behind her head now and worry about it next month. She just wanted to enjoy being with him and keep exploring the pleasant perks coming from this relationship. She could be certain that he wouldn't freak out or anything if her missing period meant pregnancy so she could be calm. She had other serious issues to deal with at the moment.

"So, just tell me when you're ready." He smiled at her longingly, cracking even wider, teasing smirk afterwards. "I promise I'll do my best to make it happen."

She chuckled happily, putting her palms on his face to study his affectionate and kind gaze. "Oh, I am sure you will do your best." She cooed and pulled him towards her, kissing him fervently.

He took her up on her offer and used his body weight to make her lean back, eventually lying down on the couch, making their bodies to melt together in a lovers' embrace. His hands immediately grasped her waist below the gorgeous white blouse she was wearing, touching her searing skin in the need to touch her. She moaned into his mouth under the contact and hooked her arms around his neck, pressing him onto her even more.

It'd been just a few days but with the amount of sex they had had last week, it seemed that they were neglecting their schedule now. And they had a new bed that needed to be... well christened. It was no wonder then that the passion between them had exploded in intense waves, making them to momentarily forget about the whole world around them.

Surrounding world hadn't forgotten them, though. A strident sound from a cell phone managed to get through the haze they were in. However, it hadn't succeeded in them ceasing in their cuddling. Tony blindly scrabbled around with his hand to find his phone and when he did, his mouth left the sensitive area of her neck where he was eliciting pleasure with his tongue.

He hoped for his father reaching out to him but as he stared at the screen with zero notifications, he realized that the sound hadn't come from his phone but hers. He cursed because she had used his distraction for sticking her hands behind his shirt, giving a little massage to his muscles and he absolutely loved it. He looked around to spot her cell phone and squirmed when she started to tickle him.

"Stop!" He begged her as the fits of laughter slowly started to control him. He grabbed her phone quickly and shoved it in front of her face. "Rather deal with this nuisance."

With a fake annoyed sound, she took the phone from him and swiped the screen to unlock it, while he buried his head back into the crook of her neck. "It is Terri, she wants to Skype." She informed him as she raked her fingers through his hair while he nuzzled her jugular vein.

Her eyebrows furrowed in worry. "It is apparently very urgent. She used five exclamation marks." She drawled thoughtfully and met his eyes as he lifted his head up to look at her to comprehend what punctuation in a text had anything to do with genuine urgency. Most people tend to be overacting and multiplied the punctuation, hearts, emojis and so on.

"She usually uses just one." She hurried to explain. One of Terri's favourite writers, Terry Pratchett* (yes, she enjoyed very much the similarity of the names), once stated in one of his books that: _"Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind."**_ and Terri used it every single time to distinguish her states of mind. If she was agitated or excited, she used five exclamation marks, and if she was in her normal state and just wanted to stress whatever she wanted to stress, she used just one.

Tony nodded in understanding, kissed her quickly on her lips and rose to his feet. "A friend in need is a friend in need." He commented and offered her his hand to help her stand up. "Let's Skype."

She accepted his hand and stood up, retreating to the bedroom to find her laptop. She then brought it to the living room, turned it on and texted Terri in the meantime that she would be online in the blink of an eye. He plugged a HDMI cable from his TV in the laptop to provide better screen for the video call and settled on the couch next to Ziva, refilling their glasses with wine.

Ziva logged in to her Skype account and prepared everything necessary for the video call, feeling quite uneasy. Tel Aviv was submerged in a deep night, nearing to dawn by each passing minute and so Terri should be asleep. The fact she had the urge to Skype with her was signing something very significant. And Ziva cared enough to drop everything to hear her out and be the friend she needed.

The connection was established immediately and soon, they could see David sitting on the couch in the apartment in which Ziva and Terri had used to live together. "Hey!" He greeted them and waved at them, turning his back to look over his shoulder. "Honey, the call!"

"What happened?" Ziva fired instantly, not wasting her time with some formalities.

A strange grimace appeared on David's face as he tried his best to stay serious but contain his laughter in the same time. Suddenly, the screen turned sideways and Terri's worn-out face appeared there. "What happened? I will tell you what happened!" She wailed loudly and turned the laptop back, sitting next to her fiancé.

Tony and Ziva exchanged baffled looks but kept patiently waiting. "Honey, calm down, okay?" David put hand on Terri's thigh in attempt to soothe her agitation.

She squeezed his hand gratefully to show her appreciation. "If only it was so easy." She said wearily, leaning her head against the backrest of the couch she was sitting on.

"Terri..." Ziva began urgently. David's smile had helped her to stop worrying so much but it was obvious that something had shaken with her friend's world and she needed to know what.

Terri's head snapped back up to the action. "Ah, where are my manners?" She chastised herself and stretched her hands to provide some relief to her stiff muscles. She looked into the webcam and waved her hand widely. "Hello, you two! It's so lovely to see you!"

"It's lovely to see you, too." Ziva impatiently admitted before Tony could say anything. She wasn't fooled by the cheerful tone and pleased smile on Terri's face. "Now cut to the chase and tell us what happened."

Terri pretended to snort and looked over at David. "She hasn't changed a bit. Commanding as always." She said teasingly and winked at her Israeli friend on the other side of the world. Her face then turned serious and she took a deep breath to bring some peace into her soul. "I've been traumatized."

Ziva could see the smile tugging at the corners of David's mouth so she was sure that whatever trauma Terri had been through, it wasn't anything life-threatening. "How?" She asked anyway, hearing Tony asking the same question in the same tone and time as she had.

"Do you remember that my father was supposed to arrive to help us move into our new apartment and to celebrate our engagement?" Terri asked while rubbing her forehead as she continued in her stress-relieving techniques. After she registered their nods, she sighed dramatically. "Well, he unexpectedly arrived already on Sunday evening."

She then proceeded to tell them how thrilled she had been with her father's arrival but then when she had taken him to lunch the next day where her mother and brother had been present, as well, her parents had started to bicker. She'd managed to calm them down but the atmosphere had been still tense and she'd had enough. She hadn't uttered a single word to them until Tuesday's morning when she had decided to talk with her mother to start being more tolerant. After all, it had been almost ten years since they had divorced.

"So I came to my mum's home and since I couldn't find her anywhere, I peeked into her bedroom." She went on and made a dramatic pause to hint that the big reveal was about to happen. "I walked in on my parents having sex."

Ziva clasped her hand over her mouth to stifle the chuckle while Tony started to wipe the wine he had spluttered everywhere off. David couldn't hold it back anymore and laughed shortly before his dear fiancée showed her displeasure by smacking his back angrily. It took quite a while to all three to control their emotions again and try to look supportive as Terri just waited with annoyed face until it happened.

"You know, I feel you. I've suffered similar trauma when I caught my dad having sex with my neighbour in my own bedroom." Tony remarked as the first one to show some sympathy.

Terri's eyes widened in horror and she gaped into the camera. "Oh my God! Now I see it could've been even worse!" She exclaimed and looked at him sympathetically as Ziva embraced him to give him some of the personal comfort. "I can't imagine my own bed being violated that way!"

Tony chuckled and planted a kiss on top of Ziva's forehead thankfully. "The bed's long gone, you can trust me." He assured her and casted a look towards his bedroom, shaking himself off mentally from the shock he had experienced a few years back. "Either way, things like that happen, Terri. It's possible to rekindle the passion between two people even after series of hurtful events."

Ziva looked up at him in astonished surprise, not quite believing that such words of wisdom could come out of the mouth of her boyfriend. He never ceased to amaze her with the maturity he had grown into, especially because he was giving her a credit for that. Slowly, she smiled because she realized what he was hinting at and he couldn't be more right. Their passion had rekindled with an intensity they could have barely comprehended. After all, it hadn't ever been consummated before.

"I know that, of course, but that's not my problem, Tony." Terri explained and smiled in spite of her state of upset when she saw how adorable those two were together. "You see, my father is supposed to have a girlfriend. They've been together for years."

Her father had always been a well-built, handsome man. Women had literally fought over him but there had been only one woman he had loved – his current ex-wife. Terri had never fully understood what had happened that their marriage had ended up with a divorce, she just knew that there hadn't been someone else. No woman on her father's side and no man on her mother's side.

After their split-up, her father hadn't had any problems to find that someone else. He had been more careful, though, because his heart had been pretty much worn out from the marriage. And so, he had started dating with one of his female colleagues, keeping their relationship under the lid due the fraternization policy. To her father's pleasure, Terri and his new girlfriend had been getting along very well.

"And you know, Ziv, that I love Ellen like my second mother." Terri continued exasperatedly, gesturing widely around herself, forcing David to shrink on the couch because he didn't want to be hit. "When I confronted him about it in front of my mum, he dropped the bomb that they recently broke up and he felt so depressed and was in need of some comfort that things just happened between him and my mum. And she confirmed it all."

She paused to snort in disgust, still shaken from the trauma she had suffered. "Like what the hell? When I was a teenager, they put me through hell during the divorce stage and now this?" She complained, letting David to draw soothing circles on her back. "It's like their break-up years ago, only in a reversed form."

Tony, who had had several experiences with incoming and outgoing stepmothers, smiled at her encouragingly to show her that things would work out eventually in some way. It had no point trying to heal the wounds that couldn't be healed; he had had a vast experience from his relationship with Senior. If people wanted to live among themselves on good terms, they could, despite the burden of hurtful past.

"Okay, fine. What happened, happened. They cannot take it back." Ziva finally voiced her opinion after a couple of seconds of deep thinking. She had met both parents and regardless their wrongdoings in the past, she could say that they were wonderful parenting couple for their children. "What does it mean for all of you, as a family?"

Terri huffed and buried her fingers into her hair in desperation. "That's the thing! They're so cool about it that they don't know!" She exclaimed, frustrated with how it was influencing her joy from her engagement. "They were both like 'Ah, we just enjoy it for the moment, who knows what the future brings'. They want to continue in it, for sure."

Ziva would love so much to cross the distance between them and hug her, let her to lay her head on her shoulder and whisper to her that everything was going to be okay like so many times before. But like that, she only managed to lift her hand towards the webcam before she realized how futile her attempt for comfort was. Terri had registered it, though, and sent her a grateful smile.

"I asked them to keep it low in front my brother at least. Because if he finds out, he's gonna freak out." She added, way calmer than on the beginning because the talk with two people she considered her closest friends helped her. "That kid is already a mess. He doesn't need to be messed up even more. And I won't let them to do to him what they did to me."

In spite of the ten-year difference between her and her little brother, they had been very close, especially since she had arrived to Israel to study. They regularly went out for movies and dinners, chatting about everything and nothing like two friends. As the older sister, she had natural urge to protect him, trying to repay the detriment he had suffered due to the separation of their parents.

"Well, they are both consenting adults, you cannot order them what they should do. So, it is probably the best to accept it and look at it from the positive side." Ziva remarked compassionately, snuggling back to the side of her boyfriend who wrapped his arms around her.

Terri blinked several times and looked closer on the screen to be sure that Ziva wasn't kidding about the thing she'd just said. "Positive side? What positive side?" She questioned unbelievingly, seeing zero benefit of the new-found passion between her parents.

"Your wedding, of course." Ziva clarified with a short laugh. "If it lasts, they will be awfully nice to each other at your wedding. And you do not have to worry about any arguments that could destroy your big day."

That statement made Terri think of potential utility of this restored relationship and she raked her hair thoughtfully. "Yeah... As I know them, everyone will walk in on them having sex right at the altar." She joked, cracking a wide smile as both her friends on the other side of the world started to laugh with her fiancé joining them cheerfully.

"I know, I know... I whine about stupidities while you two already don't have your parents. Well, you have your father, Tony." She acknowledged that maybe she was overreacting like David had been insisting the whole time after the laughter subdued. "It just caught me off guard."

"Hey, that's what friends are for." Tony winked at her and they all smiled at each other.

Sudden bark made them all jump since it was much unexpected. Tony and Ziva registered the black-brown smudge flashing by the screen before Rex's head appeared right in front of them, holding his paw in the air as he tried to reach for them and beg for a delicate scratch behind his ears. "Ah, look at the sleepy head that finally came to greet you." Terri remarked as Rex received petting from both her and David.

The poor dog was utterly confused, though, why he wasn't receiving more affection as he had expected. He saw the two other humans he had considered as a part of his pack but he couldn't smell them. He could also hear them talking to him but they seemed to be smaller to him than usual. He barked sadly at the box in which they were apparently imprisoned.

Both Tony and Ziva greeted the dog with love and waved, as well as smiled at him but Rex just kept tilting his head from right side to the left in complete confusion. He whimpered and made an attempt to touch the screen of the laptop but Terri held him back. Not really understanding much of it, Rex rather hid his muzzle into David's hand and enjoyed the delicious rubs he received from him.

Occasionally, he looked at the screen and kept tilting his head by which he amused not only his owners, but also the two other humans. He was tired of it very soon, though, and just rested peacefully by the feet of Terri and David while those two talked to Tony and Ziva about their experiences since the moment they had bid their goodbyes on the airport.

* * *

Tony yawned and lazily buttoned up his blue shirt that Ziva had chosen for him, noting that he should look professionally dashing during the announcement of his nearing promotion. He walked by the glorious bed she had bought the day before, smiling at the memory of sleeping in it with the woman of his heart for the first time. Naughty things hadn't happened as the Skype call with David and Terri had ended in quite late hours.

However, it had given them the chance to properly test the bed for sleeping. And since they both had slept like a log, the bed had passed the exam excellently. It was really that comfortable as it had seemed at the first glance. Tony picked up the prepared silver necktie on the sheets and hung it around his neck, standing in front of a mirror to navigate himself during the tying.

When he grabbed the ends of the tie, he was immediately interrupted from his intent because of the ringing doorbell. He sighed and wondered who it could be as he wasn't expecting anyone. Ziva went jogging for a while before they would head together to NCIS headquarters and no one else had a reason to stop by at his apartment at the moment. He sincerely hoped it wasn't one of his neighbours he found to be very irksome.

As he neared the door, it hit him that his dear girlfriend could have forgotten her keys and he couldn't help but smile at her absent-mindedness. "You forgot your ke-" He teased her playfully but shut his mouth in an instant when the shock struck him after he opened the door and saw the person standing behind it. "Dad!"

Senior devoted him a wide smile, always pleased to surprise pleasantly his son whenever he had the chance. "Hello, Junior!" He exclaimed cheerfully and spread his arms out, inviting his younger version for an embrace. "Won't you hug the old man?"

Caught-off-guard Tony stared at him for a minute or so before he realized that his father had been talking to him. "Sure..." He eventually managed to speak up and hug his father warmly. He felt relieved that he was fine and in an apparently good shape.

"But what are you doing here? I thought you'd call first." He started the interrogation immediately after he broke the hug. It was a norm for Senior to pop in the most unexpected moments but even a morning of a working day seemed too much.

"Well, Gibbs called me and invited me to NCIS today because he wants to tell me something personally." Senior explained with questioning gaze, hoping that his son would clear up his puzzlement about this invitation. "So, I thought I would stop by here in the morning and we could go together."

Tony chuckled at Gibbs' sudden need to let his star shine so much by inviting everyone they knew to the promotion announcement. It was starting to turn into a big party, instead of planned modest and private event. "Oh, sure... Brilliant idea." He commented it unsurely. He was glad that his father was thinking in such a family spirit but he was currently keeping a secret from him and going together to NCIS would mean to reveal it.

And as he'd mentioned earlier to his girlfriend, that wasn't how he was imagining telling his father about his new relationship. He was fervently trying to come up with an idea how to dismiss his father's idea without hurting his feelings while obstructing Senior's view into the apartment. It only piqued the older man's interest, though, because despite Tony's strange behaviour for the past few weeks, this seemed to have a different origin.

"Will you invite me in?" Senior asked impatiently, shifted his weight from one foot to another in eagerness to find out what was behind his son's secretiveness.

"Yes, of course." Tony replied helplessly, having no reasonable excuse but holding onto the hope that it would solve itself. He let his father inside and closed the door behind him after checking the corridor if Ziva wasn't nearby but he didn't have that luck.

Senior looked around the apartment, trying to find out some clues that would explain Tony's behaviour. Truth to be told, he'd seen more than enough to know for sure that someone had stepped into his life in a way she (he immediately guessed it was a woman and he wasn't willing to admit anything else) had never been there before which was a very interesting finding.

"So, how did you enjoy Christmas, Dad?" Tony asked him, unnerved by Senior's inspection. His father lacked many skills, especially in the detective department, but when it came to women, he could brazenly call himself Sherlock Holmes.

"I had a wonderful time in London, thank you." Senior answered and slowly turned to face his son while he let his eyes roam across the most unnoticeable details. His son's evident agitation didn't escape his notice, either. He could have his years but he was still vigilant in certain moments. "Why are you so nervous, Junior?"

"Me?" Tony pointed his finger to his chest, barking out a nervous chuckle. "I'm not nervous. Not at all."

Senior wasn't so easily fooled, though. He could see that some change had affected his son because the previous tension in his face was gone. Sure, he was agitated at the moment but there was something more about him now, something Senior couldn't quite put a finger on and that wasn't there a week ago. However, he would bet his life that it had something to do with a woman. Only a woman could make a man so nervous.

While Tony kept casting desperate glances at the door, still trying to find a way around all of this and failing in it, Senior shrugged off his coat and placed it on the couch's backrest. They weren't about to leave right away and the apartment was warm enough so he could stay in it without his coat on. Turning back to the younger man, he folded his arms across his chest and waited.

"Are you expecting someone?" He asked Tony and nodded towards the door to which his son seemed to be attached by some powers beyond reckoning.

Tony jolted away from the door as if the gates to the Hell were on the other side and he hopelessly tried to avoid that wretched place. "No, I'm not." He denied Senior's suspicion and went to feed his fishes instead to keep his hands busy.

Senior sighed and followed his son's steps with a resigned shake of his head. "Junior, you could be a terrible liar." He assessed knowingly and propped his hands against the backrest of the couch. "What happened to you during Christmas?"

He knew that something had been going on since not only Zoe had contacted him, but also Abigail had called him to inquire him about Tony's location. When he had texted to him, Tony had answered to him that he had been in Europe and there had been no need to worry about him. Senior couldn't help but to do exactly that. After all, he was his father, in spite of all the things he had done to his son that weren't the best parenting example.

Not knowing what he could expect, he had been troubled when he had rung the doorbell, wondering what he would do if he found Tony all broken. And although everything seemed suddenly fine, which was certainly a pleasant piece of knowledge because he wasn't constantly yelling at him, he couldn't shake off the feeling that his son was keeping something away from him. And Senior, in his curious nature, just needed to know what it was.

Tony sighed and grasped at the edge of one of the shelves where he kept the fish food. There was no way now he could brush his father aside and Ziva was about to return any minute. The secret would come out into the open, anyway, so he had no other choice but to reveal the truth. Not everything could go according to the plan as he could see. There were just moments he had to improvise.

"Okay, fine." He relented, turning around to look into his fathers' eyes. "Something significant happened, Dad, and you should know about it."

Senior nodded in understanding and walked around the couch to take a seat on it because the seriousness in his son's voice let him know more than enough that he should sit down because the news was going to be overwhelming. A man in his years simply needed something solid under his backside just in case he could be so shocked that his legs wouldn't be able to hold him standing.

After he sat down, he leaned forward and clasped his hands together in anticipation. "You and Zoe got engaged?" He shot from the hip without thinking, although he considered this option as the least possible one. It would be quite a twist to a crumbling relationship.

"What?" Tony snapped his head and opened his eyes wide in distaste. After spending so much time with Ziva, he found such an idea like getting engaged to Zoe very repulsive, although it didn't have anything to do with her personally. "No!"

"She's pregnant?" Senior tried again immediately, not fighting the hopeful tone of his voice. He would love to be a grandfather, there was no doubt about it. It was a chance for him to show that he wasn't entirely good-for-nothing father figure.

"Absolutely not!" Tony denied with an unbelieving shake of his head as his father kept guessing, instead of letting his son to talk.

Senior looked him up and down for once more closely and glanced around for personal confirmation. "So you two moved in together." He wasn't giving up his evaluation about a woman being behind Tony's sudden transformation.

His son sighed and sat down next to his father in a way so he could face him. "Can you, please, tell me where are you getting these ideas?" He asked him, wondering what prompted Senior to see pie in the sky. He was one of the few who knew practically everything about his relationship with Zoe so he should know that all of his suggestions were impossible.

"Well, I can't help but notice the recent feminine touch in your apartment, Junior." Senior responded with a wink, spreading his arms to point out a couple of things that were a clear evidence of his claim.

Various knick-knacks were lying on the shelves as Ziva had displayed the souvenirs from her travels. His DVDs were moved to make space for her book collection. A vase of fresh flowers was standing on the coffee table right in front of Senior. The apartment had a nice, pleasant smell and it wasn't just the scent of women's perfume. Someone was nesting in this apartment and it wasn't his son.

Tony followed his gaze and smiled at the natural intrusion of the woman he loved into his privacy in a way he didn't mind at all. "Look... Zoe isn't the one living with me, we don't expect a child and I didn't propose to her." He clarified to his father patiently and threw another look at the door. "Quite the contrary. We broke up."

Bewildered Senior stared at him to estimate how his son was feeling about it, repeating to himself in the back of his head that he hadn't denied that a woman started to live with him. "Oh Junior, I am so sorry." He reached his hands and squeezed Tony's shoulder to offer a fatherly comfort.

"Don't be. I broke it off." Tony told him but smiled at him in appreciation of his father's sympathy. "And you know more than anyone that it was just a matter of time."

Senior nodded in agreement distantly because he still expected quite a different reaction from his son. Not that he expected him to wail, cry and lament over his fate, but the nonchalance wasn't something usual for him, either. Sure, Zoe hadn't apparently been the right one for him but they had still spent some pleasant time together. One would expect more emotion over it.

"What else happened with you, then?" He questioned in attempt to connect the dots of his observation. "You're different than a week ago, I can see that."

Tony sat back and leaned his head against the backrest, watching the beams of the morning sun creating various patterns on the ceiling. "I needed to get out for a while. Alone. Somewhere where no one would search for me but where I could soak up the Christmas atmosphere." He explained dreamily, feeling as if a lifetime had passed since he had landed in Europe. "So I went to Prague."

"Ah, what a beautiful city. You couldn't choose any better time to go there, really." Senior noted and smiled at his own fond memories. "I once stayed in such a cosy, little hotel..."

"I know, Dad, I remembered so I accommodated there. But that's not important." Tony interrupted him with a wave of his hand and Senior's chest swelled with pride that his son had taken his advice which was a rare occurrence. "Important is that I met someone there."

Senior arched his eyebrow in question, the curiosity bubbling inside him. The blissful smile that flooded his son's face was a sign of great love. He loved the woman from the bottom of his heart, that was for sure. Senior couldn't help but wonder what kind of woman she was that she managed to bewitch his son in such a way. He didn't have the chance to ask yet, though, because Tony went on.

"She made me realize so many things and helped me re-evaluate some of them." Tony remarked, staring into the fish bowl in which Kate and Ziva floated playfully. "I found my old self, again. But in the same time, I became a new man."

Anthony DiNozzo Senior grinned knowingly in response. There weren't many moments when he could say that his son was a reflection of his father because Tony had mainly inherited the good and beautiful soul of his mother. But this time, he could proudly state that he and his son had something in common, after all. A long time ago, he had said similar words to one of his friends after meeting the woman of his life. A woman he married and who gave a birth to their son. A woman who left this world too soon, creating an incurable void in his heart.

"She must be quite a catch. Only a few women are able to change a man in that way." He said with a short laugh, bursting to find out more about this newcomer in his son's life. "So, who is she?"

Tony looked directly into his eyes and swallowed to water his suddenly dry mouth. He was about to drop a bomb that had an emotional impact greater than any thermonuclear weapon in the world. "Well..." He started but didn't have the chance to finish.

The sound of rattling keys bounced against the walls of the apartment and both DiNozzos looked at the door expectantly, albeit for different reasons. Radiant Ziva breezed in to the apartment with the lightness of a ballerina, her cheeks flushed due to the frost biting at them while she was enjoying her favourite jogging in the winter, sunny day. She loved to have this activity back.

"I am late, I know and I am so sorry." She immediately apologized for her delay, slipping off the bubble hat from her head and tossing her hair. "I will just take a very quick shower and we can leave right away."

She hadn't noticed the shift of the mood in the apartment because she was so occupied with being swift that she hadn't registered Senior's presence. She took off her shoes, shrugged her windcheater off and headed towards the bedroom to fulfil her promise. Tony didn't say a word to her, he just watched astounded Senior in amusement and waited how this will turn out.

Senior rose to his feet, holding onto the backrest to keep himself steady. To say that he was astonished to death was an understatement. Out of everything he could have thought of what his son had been doing during his Christmas break, meeting with Ziva and bringing her back had been one of the last items on his imaginary list. That idea itself was so inconceivable that he had never dared to think about it.

"Ziva?" He addressed to her incredulously, enjoying that he could say her name aloud again. Since his son had started to flinch, hurt appearing on his face whenever Ziva's name had been mentioned, Senior had rather relinquished talking about her.

Ziva stopped in her tracks and turned around nimbly. "Mr. DiNozzo!" She exclaimed cheerfully and sent him one of her widest smiles. She looked at Tony and they exchanged a silent, facial communication only soul mates could comprehend. Then she went over to Senior and hugged him tightly. "That is so great you came! Tony was getting worried about you."

Absolutely stunned Senior only managed to glance at his son quizzically and then he embraced Ziva in a fatherly hug. He refrained from saying anything because he couldn't find any words to describe his astonishment and joy in the same time, and rather let his non-verbal gestures to speak for him. It all suddenly felt like a dream and he didn't want to wake up.

Ziva let go of him, though, smiling up at him in her typical dazzling smile. "I am so thrilled to see you but now I really must to take a shower." She said and sniffed to sign that her sweaty smell needed to be washed away.

Senior released her out of his embrace with a nod and she thanked him with a pat on his chest. Turning on her heel, she gave Tony a quick kiss on the lips before disappearing to the bathroom. Father and son had become abandoned again with Senior staring agape in front of himself in attempt to comprehend everything while Tony was simpering out of pure happiness.

"How... How is this possible?" His father finally found some words to let out of his mouth. He was completely helpless to grasp that Ziva coming back and being girlfriend to Tony was real.

Tony sighed contently and approached his father with an understanding smile. "To be honest, I have no idea." He replied truthfully as he squeezed Senior's shoulder. "I'm still waiting for the moment to wake up and realize it's all just a dream."

" _It is by no means an irrational fancy that, in a future existence, we shall look upon what we think our present existence, as a dream." – Edgar Allan Poe_

Senior started to laugh joyfully and pulled his son into a hug. "You're hell of a lucky guy, son!" He told him and clapped his back a couple of times in appreciation. If it was a divine intervention or a magic trick, he didn't know and frankly, he didn't give a damn. Important was that his son finally managed to get the girl he loved. As his father, he couldn't wish anything more for his son. His happiness was everything to him.

Tony took a deep breath to absorb the seriousness of the whole situation. He was aware that his new relationship was an easy come, easy go. He could lose it if he wasn't careful enough but he was determined to fight like a lion if anything went wrong. "I know..." He whispered in a shaky breath, grinning like an enamoured idiot he was.

_**The End of Chapter 29** _

* * *

* Sir Terence David John Pratchett (1948 – 2015), widely known as Terry Pratchett, was (wow, the past tense really hurts to write) English fantasy author. His most famous works include comic fantasy Discworld series (since 1983 up to 2015 with the last book published posthumously). He battled with Alzheimer's disease since 2007 and succumbed to it in 2015 in the age of 66 years. Together with J.R.R. Tolkien and J.K. Rowling, he belongs to the best modern fantasy authors from the UK. Everyone who knows me is aware of my love for him so it's no wonder I managed to squeeze him into this story.

** From the book Reaper Man, Discworld series written by Terry Pratchett


	30. Chapter 30

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 30** _

Tony let Ziva to drive, albeit with certain hesitancy. But she had managed to show him that her driving had improved over the years, so he could entrust his car to her with the knowledge that he might need to replace only a couple of minor components instead of the whole bodywork. She deserved to be trusted in this regard so he didn't even try to control her all the time.

He rather devoted his time and attention to his father who asked a question after a question and Tony tried his best to piece his Prague adventure together into a coherent story. Senior was too agog to keep listening to his narration and kept cut in on him, so he surrendered and just tried to explain how things had turned out the way they had in his answers.

Ziva drove and listened to them with a smile on her lips, occasionally supplementing Tony's replies to clarify some uncertain details. However, most of the time she remained a non-participating observer lost in her thoughts. After all, she had much to ponder. Senior was another one in the row of people she needed to convince about her atonement and ask him for forgiveness.

He hadn't showed anything but friendly delight over her return so far, but she wanted to have a clear conscience when it came to him. He was Tony's father and as she could see and hear, he belonged to her boyfriend's closest circle. Moreover, she couldn't deny the fact that she liked Senior. He wasn't the perfect father or the best person, but he could entertain people around him and that was one of his best qualities.

Besides, it pleased her to watch the father and the son on the journey of reconciling their relationship. Both had finally matured enough to get over Senior's lapses and talk to each other. She could see the shining aura of endeavour around them as they both tried to do their best to make this work. She wished that her father would ever try that but it was too late now to wonder if his efforts would ever get that serious.

Senior was absolutely fascinated by hearing their love story and couldn't hide his joy. He was tempted to nudge them both and say 'I told you so' because he just knew that their relationship was bound to happen one day. But his curiosity still wasn't sated because he couldn't stop wondering why Gibbs had invited him to NCIS today and since he'd gotten nowhere with his son, he tried to pry off Ziva what was going on.

However, she only sent him a cryptic, mysterious smile and exchanged some silent secret code with Tony through their eyes which only piqued his curiosity even more. Ziva most certainly knew what this whole thing was about and since she went with them, it meant that she was part of it in some way. Since she had stated multiple times that she had no intention to return to her old job, though, he knew that it wasn't about her.

He didn't have much chance to keep drawing information from them because they reached their destination. Tony helped them to arrange the visitor cards and together, they took the elevator to the bullpen. Ellie and McGee had just arrived there, as well, surprised pleasantly by the presence of both. Tony let them to greet each other warmly and sat down behind his desk, observing the whole domestic scene with a smile.

There was his happiness – his gorgeous girlfriend, his best friend, loyal colleague and flawed father. He wouldn't exchange this combination for anything although an improvement could be provided. However, his imaginary cup of happiness was currently brimming over the edges and he was completely satisfied with what he had now. He didn't need more, otherwise he wouldn't be able to properly cherish these recent moments.

His gaze slipped onto the desk of his boss or soon-to-be equal colleague when it came to ranking was maybe better to say. Sudden melancholy seized him because he knew he would definitely miss Team Gibbs and working with certain people. But on the other hand, this was an opportunity he couldn't not take. It was time to move on to different things and embark on a new journey.

"Where's Gibbs?" He asked McGee and Ellie but both shrugged their shoulders to sign that they didn't know.

"It's still too soon for him." Ellie reasoned and exchanged a nervous glance with her geeky colleague. Senior's and Ziva's presence, albeit very pleasant and welcomed, meant that something was going on, something about which they had no idea. And it certainly had a lot to do with yesterday's secretiveness of Tony, Gibbs and Vance.

Ziva turned to Senior and touched his arm gently to get his attention. "May I speak to you in the meantime, then?" She asked him hopefully, having in mind to make use of the while they had to talk to him. "In privacy."

Senior smiled at her in agreement, yet hesitantly because he didn't know what they could privately talk about. He didn't mind it, of course, he cherished every single second spend in the presence of such charming and beautiful woman. Her facial expression, though, signed that the topic might a bit more serious than he was used to and he preferred to evade such conversations as he often was disastrous.

"You can take the conference room." Tony suggested, having a notion why Ziva was so eager to get this over with. Although he'd assured her that his father had absolutely no reservations about her, her departure and their relationship, she'd still insisted on speaking to him and he knew better than to argue with her on that topic.

Ziva went to give him a grateful kiss on the cheek and whispered a couple of soothing words into his ear. He returned her the gesture and smiled encouragingly at his father. Ziva then put her arm through Senior's and led him to the conference room, leaving Tony and his two curious colleagues alone in the bullpen. Tony masterfully avoided the eye contact with both Ellie and Tim and with a sigh, he went to enjoy his new relationship with the coffee machine.

* * *

When the door from the conference room behind Senior and Ziva closed, the woman gestured towards one of the chairs inside. "Please, take a seat." She told him and then chuckled at her own bossy attitude caused by her nervousness. "Not that I actually have any right to tell you what you are supposed to do since I am not working here anymore. But it will be better if we sit down."

Senior nodded, shrugged off his coat and threw it across one of the chairs while sitting on the one next to it. Ziva did the same, only she sat down across him so they could maintain the eye contact that was necessary to prove her sincerity and honesty. She didn't want to feel nervous but she was aware of the severity of the moment since she was most likely about to talk with her future father-in-law and she needed to treat him as such.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Senior asked her curiously, clasping his hands on the table.

Ziva raked her hair and deeply sighed. It was never easy to start a talk about things that had caused a lot of pain to her. "Well, Mr. DiNozzo..." She started apprehensively but fell silent when he touched her hand to gain her attention.

"Please, call me Anthony." He requested, feeling way more comfortable on the first-name basis with her than being too formal.

She laughed softly and smiled widely at him. "Anthony, then." She corrected herself and Senior's eyes filled with tenderness upon hearing her calling him by his first name. His son was right, she could use the tone of her voice in an incredible way. No wonder she could bring men to their knees with her words only, although he knew she could do so with the help of her ninja skills, as well.

"I want to talk with you about my relationship with Tony." She added the clarification of their private discussion. "As I understand, not everyone is thrilled about it and since you are Tony's father, I think you deserve some explanation of my departure and recent return."

The old man looked absolutely taken aback by the reason she had taken him in here, because the fact that she had returned to be with Tony was the only thing he actually cared about. Younger generations would say that he 'had shipped' them for years and so he didn't bother with the past anymore and was just extremely happy for the present situation. He just wanted his son to be happy and he could see that he was. Besides, he was certainly one of the last persons to judge anybody for their transgressions against Tony.

"Ziva, I..." He wanted to protest but this time, it was her who interrupted him by grasping his hand.

"Please, let me finish." She begged him and held his hand with a sanctity he had never experienced. He could see that whatever she wanted to say was very important to her and so he nodded in permission.

She sent him a thankful smile and carefully put his hand back down on the table. "I do not know what Tony told you about us, circumstances of my departure and if he has ever mentioned to you what happened in Israel two and half years ago." She said matter-of-factly as she tried to keep her distance to assume anything about the relationship between Tony and the man in front of her. "But I guess you know something as it came as no surprise to you that we are now together and deeply in love."

Senior could just smirk impishly because if she heard all those conversations he and his son had had when it came to her, she would have definitely slapped them in the face a few times. Oh, the number of times he had advised to his son to throw caution to the winds together with the Rule 12 and follow the voice of his heart instead. He had even unabashedly manifested his knowledge and hope about the mutual affection between his son and the Israeli woman. To no avail, though, they had kept stubbornly claiming that nothing had been going on between them.

"And I am sorry that I will not go into detail with everything because it is still pretty much private and painful." She added, still emotionally shaken from the talk she had had with Tim and Abby when she had learned that narrating the whole story aloud had been more stressful than she had first anticipated. "I would not be able to finish this talk with dignity for sure."

The old man nodded and sent her an understanding look. After all, he'd never wanted her to tell him any of that so he had no right to demand any details in this regard. And he respected his son's privacy. After all, he'd heard enough from Tony to comprehend how hard and excruciating their parting had been and in spite of his curiosity, he'd rather remained in ignorance.

"Simply, I just want you to know that I love your son and I am sorry I had to lose him first and then find him to realize how much I actually desire to be with him." She went on, looking into his pleased eyes, giving her the courage to continue speaking. "However, I will never regret that I left because I had to do it for myself."

She searched for some sort of sympathy in his eyes and it didn't take her long to find it, surprised with its intensity. Senior even reached for her hands and held them in his to show his support. "Without it, I would never reach the point where I am now." She breathed out as if she was talking to herself than to him. "We would never be strong as a couple if we did not go through this painful, yet enlightening journey."

Her breath hitched afterwards and her gaze slipped on their joined hands, particularly the place Senior had started to absentmindedly rub with soft caresses. It showed to be her ring finger on the left hand and the symbolism didn't escape her notice. Her eyes met his in a questioning glance and he immediately stopped when he realized what he was doing. However, the hopeful gleam in his eyes couldn't pass unnoticed and Ziva had no other choice but start blushing.

She recovered quickly, though, and made a use of the position of their hands to squeeze his. "I solemnly promise to you, Anthony, that I will atone for everything I have done to your son and I will do my best to make him happy." She swore in a gravely tone, holding his gaze. "I have no intention to leave him again. I will rather rip my heart out and bleed to death than abandon him."

She ignored Senior's gasp of horror that such thing could ever happen. In all honesty, she didn't know where the words that had made her sound like a fanatical lunatic had come from, but she needed to say them aloud to prove her point. She didn't want to lose Tony again and she was hell-bent on preventing it from happening. And it was crucial for her to make everyone understand that.

She took a deep breath and opened her mouth to add something to her promise but then she stopped herself. She could see that Senior understood what she wanted to say and what she wanted to assure him about so there was no need to repeat herself and get tougher in her promises. Rather, she squeezed his hands for one more time and withdrew her hands, sighing in relief and sending him a shy smile.

"Are you finished?" Senior asked her to be sure since he'd given her his promise to let her say whatever she wanted.

When she confirmed so with a nod, he sat back and drummed his fingers on the table thoughtfully. "First of all, thank you for telling me all of this." He said hesitantly as he tried to think of the best way to express his thoughts while avoiding to belittle the importance this talk apparently had for her. "However, it wasn't necessary. I could never be mad at you, Ziva, or doubt your devotion to my son."

She opened her mouth to object but he dismissed any of potential words with a wave of his hand and so she remained silent. "You know, out of all of the women in Tony's life – and now I don't mean just the romantic side of it – you've always been my favourite." He confessed with a grin by the end of the sentence and she smiled in delight.

"I love Abby, Eleanor and everyone else but you... You've always had something more inside you." He assessed his relationship with Tony's female friends/girlfriends/acquaintances he had had the chance and honour to meet with. "Maybe, I just know that one day I will call you my daughter-in-law."

She giggled and her smile got even wider. He'd never made a secret with his wishes for her and Tony to be a couple, much to Gibbs' dismay. She had to admit that he had often put Tony and her into quite an embarrassing situation from which they both tried to escape absolutely unharmed and with no suspicion whatsoever that they felt more for each other than they were letting on. Not that it mattered anymore.

"Besides, I attribute you the credit for convincing Tony to give me a chance after chance after chance to try and be the father I should be." Senior grew more solemn all of a sudden as he was speaking about the matter of his own heart. She reacted similarly to the shift of the mood and sobered up her smile to more formal one.

"I know that you two talked about me a lot and that giving me another chance was one of the last things you urged him about before he returned back to the US from Israel." He remarked, thankful tone gracing his voice and Ziva just humbly lowered her eyes. "I don't know why you did it and if it had anything to do with your father because it actually doesn't matter to me."

He reached for her hands again and she lifted her gaze to his. "Important for me is that you kept supporting me and didn't give up on me, Ziva." He told her affectionately and she smiled at him gratefully. "I shall not give up on you, then."

She was pleased to hear all those nice and kind words. Senior's affection towards her was simply likeable and encouraging. She couldn't forget about cruel facts, though, like that his son had vanished into thin air for several months in Israel in order to find her, having trivial contact with his father who had been naturally worrying about him. He had returned physically alright, but mentally broken and she had been cause of that.

"Still, I broke your son's heart." She reminded to him and sighed sadly. She wasn't proud of herself for that and suffered from pangs of conscience from time to time.

Senior let out a deep sigh, as well, releasing her hands as he sat back and measured her up and down. "I don't think you should put the blame entirely on yourself, Ziva. There are always two sides to every story." He said and gestured with his two fingers to emphasize his words.

It wasn't that he wanted to defend the Israeli woman and assure her that she had completely nothing to atone for, but since he had talked with his son on this topic many times, he knew maybe more than Ziva anticipated. And even Tony wasn't entirely blameless in the great scheme of things and was very much aware of that. Senior felt the duty to point it out whether she wanted or not.

"As far as I'm aware, you didn't promise Tony anything. It was only his fault that he was making some false hopes with you." He clarified to remove the quizzical look she sent him. "If he listened to me and told you how he feels about you way sooner, everything could have been different."

Ziva swallowed the incoming rush of various questions and remarks because she had no idea that Tony had ever been that open with his father to tell him about his feelings for her, and rather focused on what Senior had said. "Even if he listened to you, it would not guarantee that I would return his feelings and everything would work out well." She insisted, feeling the need to stress once more that despite the difficult journey to their happiness, it was needed to happen. She had just regretted the means she had taken to reach it, although she was aware that there hadn't been any alternatives.

"Okay, I got it." Senior lifted his hand in a gesture to interrupt her in a case she would want to continue in her self-deprecation. "You two had to go through what you went through. Why are you still feeling so guilty about it, then, when it moved you where you needed to be?"

For a long second she wasn't saying anything, staring right through the old man as she tried to find the words to express something that was extremely hard to describe to make someone else understand. "It was never my intention to hurt him that way, yet I knew that it was exactly what I was doing." She then said gloomily, carefully laying word after word, taking her time to make an eye contact with him.

Senior couldn't help but chuckle as he leaned across the table towards her. "I know that feeling, trust me." He told her sympathetically in a similar gloomy tone. "The only thing I can tell you is that Tony's great man and he's got a big heart. He doesn't only forgive, he also tries to understand."

Ziva took his hand and squeezed it, finding a sort of kindred spirit in Senior which she hadn't realized earlier. He'd also been hurting Tony unintentionally, disappointing him in so many ways and yet, Tony had been trying to rekindle their relationship. He was completely right – if Tony's love towards certain person was great enough, he could forgive anything.

"If you compare my crimes against him with yours, I still win this atrocious competition. You can still fix what you've done. I can't." Senior stated thoughtfully, once again absent-mindedly caressing her ring finger as if he was trying to give a hint. "I can't give him what I was supposed to when he was still a kid."

She covered his hand with her free one, not only to stop him from the caresses which she didn't find uncomfortable at all but she didn't want to give him any false hope about a wedding in the near future, but to also express her sympathy at his remorse. He looked up at her and she smiled at him soothingly, holding his hand between hers. Her gaze was saying it all so she didn't utter a word and yet, they had a mutual understanding.

Senior cleared his throat to cover his emotions and smiled. "So you don't have to feel guilty when it comes to me, Ziva. You did nothing to me personally." He assured her to stop worrying about him in this regard. He would always support her and had nothing against her relationship with Tony. "You're already doing what I've always dreamt of and I have no doubts that you'll make my son happy."

She stood up and went over to him, hugging him tightly to thank him for his incredible kindliness and understanding. He enveloped her in his arms and caressed her hair, glad that she and his son had finally come to their senses. If everything went well, the future would be certainly one of the brightest ones he had ever experienced. Nothing mattered to him at the moment than happiness of his only child.

"Now, when this is settled..." He began when they broke the hug and she sat down on the chair next to him, laying her head on his shoulder. "Do you know why Gibbs invited me here?"

She chuckled and looked at him with mysterious gleam in her eyes. "Yes, I do know. But I will not tell you." She replied and shook her head in amusement over the pout he had made that reminded her so much of her boyfriend. Like father, like son. "I can just advise you to be the father you should be and be proud of your son."

She was sure that he would be swelling with pride when he learned about the promotion, just as she was and that was why she wanted to give him the moment of surprise. It would only intensify the feeling and make him think more about the wonderful achievement than about the worrying things like life-threatening situations his son might come across. Senior nodded and put his hand over his heart, solemnly promising that he would act upon her advice.

* * *

Moments later, the conference room filled up with more people as whole Team Gibbs gathered there, together with Abby, Ducky and Jimmy who had been invited as Tony's friends to join the mysterious event. Gibbs and Tony took opposite sides while leaving the front of the table unoccupied so Vance could take a seat there. Ziva sat down next to Tony with Senior sitting between her and Abby, McGee and Bishop assumed their seats next to Gibbs and Ducky with Jimmy sitting down next to them.

The atmosphere was lively and tensed as they all knew that something was about to be announced and discussed, their imaginations running wild in guessing what it could be. However, Tony and Gibbs, as well as Ziva, remained stoic and didn't reveal anything. Even after Vance entered and accepted the available seat at the front of the table, wishing them all good morning, everyone else but those three still had no concrete idea what this was all about.

Their speculations gained a new form when the door suddenly opened again and the team of Special Agent Andrew Stewart walked inside, taking their seats upon Vance's kind request to do so. Presence of another team bewildered everyone from both teams, but Vance's serious facial expression forced them to be silent and work their suspicions and guesses inside their heads.

Andrew Stewart was one of the most precious assets of the agency, just like Gibbs. Even though those two had never worked together, they respected each other greatly and their team members had always been on a good terms with each other. Stewart was roughly 7 years older than Gibbs, on the verge of retirement and for the past few years, he mostly served as a coach for beginners.

His current team of four years, nicknamed to Team Tudor due to the names of agents, had earned him a nickname 'Henry', after Henry VIII of England*1. His SFA, 30-year old Edward Brown, son of enthusiastic Shakespeare-lovers, was a dark-skinned jovial and diligent man with black hair and brown eyes, engaged to his school sweetheart he had recently met during a case.

Two other team members were women – 27-year old brunette Mary Johnson, married and mother of a 2-year old son, trying to balance out the stressful life of being a wife, mother and a formidable agent in the same time and doing absolutely wonderful job in it. And then there was Elizabeth Roberts – 25-year green-eyed blonde beauty who enjoyed her single life and youth by having various relationships in the same time, but being a serious and hardworking agent nevertheless.

"May I know how long this meeting will take?" Andrew asked nobody in particular. "We have a suspect in the interrogation room and we have to interview him."

Vance smiled at him across the table and restored the silence in the conference room by single wave of his hand. "It shouldn't take more than half an hour." He replied and flipped the file he had brought him with him open.

"Good, by that time his lawyer should finally show up." Andrew nodded in thanks and made himself comfortable on the chair.

Although Vance hadn't revealed the reason for their presence in this particular room even to them, Andrew had already anticipated what was about to happen and he was sure that his team had similar expectations. It was no secret to most of the agency that the relationship between DiNozzo and Gibbs was broken and there was a bet running around the bullpen on how this was going to be solved.

While most of the people placed their bets on DiNozzo's departure to pursue another career or the love of his life (Ziva's surprising return had already saddened quite a number of people as they definitely lost the bet), or Gibbs's imminent retirement, Andrew believed that DiNozzo would finally make the final step toward the elevation and go for promotion and team leadership. That man deserved that like no one else in the agency and it had always baffled him that DiNozzo was turning down a chance after chance to do so just to stay with Gibbs.

It seemed, though, that the moment had finally come and DiNozzo was supposed to replace Andrew. Considering his own nearing retirement, Vance had been desperate to find someone to take over his team, but for the first time in many years, there been had no one to nominate – agents either weren't interested in this kind of leadership or they hadn't been on the needed level to go through the promotion process. If DiNozzo had finally decided to take the chance, Vance must have been relieved a lot.

"So, once again good morning to all!" Vance's stern voice cut through the tense atmosphere and everyone turned their eyes to him. "I've gathered you here because I have a couple of announcements to make and they concern both teams."

Such announcement didn't come as a surprise to anyone, yet there were distinct reactions from some of them. Tony squeezed Ziva's offered hand beneath the table tightly, throwing an apologetic glance on both his colleagues, wondering what they would say. Bishop started to chew on her thumb nervously, wishing to be allowed to have some comfort food with her, for example bag of Cheetos. Or pretzels. Simply anything to make her stop feeling so jittery.

Abby apprehensively roved her eyes between Tony and Gibbs, trying to find out what they were hiding from her. Team Tudor exchanged glances among themselves, leaning closer in curiosity to hear the news. Gibbs obstinately stared on the table's surface, refusing to give anyone the delight to look into his eyes. Both pathologists remained calm and attentive while Senior and Tim were lost in their thoughts, still trying to guess what was going on.

"First of all, I want to thank Special Agent Andrew Stewart for his incredible and remarkable service to NCIS and wish him all the best to his retirement." Vance started ceremonially and all heads, except the mentioned man's, turned into Andrew's direction. "As some of you are certainly aware, Agent Stewart is leaving the agency in six months to enjoy the beauty and calmness of the pension and spend the rest of his life with his family."

Andrew nodded at everyone to appreciate their silent or quiet declarations of appreciation with a smile. "Thank you, Director. It's an honour to serve." He said in reply, exchanging a long and understanding stare with the silver-haired man.

"You'll be deeply missed, Agent Stewart." Vance confessed, clasping his hands in front of him on the table. "I have to admit that trying to find a replacement for you seemed to be an unbeatable task."

He made a dramatic pause to let everyone sort out their thoughts and realize the meaning of his words. "However, a promotion request recently appeared on my desk and I decided to accept it because, at least in my opinion, he's the best and rightful candidate." He said, trying to hide his amusement when he saw all the eyes hanging on Tony who did his best to avoid every eye contact.

"Thus the replacement for Special Agent Andrew Stewart will be, if he successfully goes through the promotion process about which I have no doubt," Vance continued and made an eye contact with everyone in the room, turning to Tony as the last one, "Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo."

A couple of gasps and sharp intake of breaths bounced against the walls of the conference room. Ziva proudly stuck out her chest with an enchanting smile on her lips, showing the pride she felt for her boyfriend. Gibbs sent Tony a bittersweet smile because although he knew that this thing was inevitable and necessary, it still hurt that it had to be done. He would prefer to leave things the way they were but he understood that Tony didn't feel well anymore.

Andrew nodded with his head to sign his approval and delight over the man's career advance. His team seemed equally pleased because the probability of being disbanded had significantly decreased right now and they all regarded Tony very highly. He was a legend among other NCIS agents, just like the whole Team Gibbs. To be trained or lead by someone from their team was an honour.

Bishop, McGee and Jimmy seemed disappointed at first but eventually conjured up an appreciative smile on their faces. They were glad for him because they knew he deserved it, no matter how weird it would feel not to work with him anymore in a way they did so until now. Ducky reacted in a similar way like Andrew, checking on Gibbs with a glance because he was certain that this suggestion came before a mutual agreement between him and Tony.

Who was absolutely consternated by the decision were Abby and Senior. The Goth scientist was thrilled for her friend because he was more than capable to lead a team of his own and she had no doubt that he would be absolutely brilliant. On the other hand, she had always hated changes and this one was pretty big for her. It didn't mean that she would see Tony less, quite the contrary. But soon, she would be confronted with a decision to whom she was loyal more – Tony or Gibbs. She'd always favoured Team Gibbs's cases above everyone else's but things were about to change.

Senior's skin turned pale as the shock pierced through him because he'd never expected such news. He knew about the quarrels his son and his boss had been having but he'd never anticipated it to take such a turn. His dismay originated in a natural fear over his son's life. He'd always had people he trusted around himself to save his ass whenever he needed it and with Gibbs on top of that. Now, he was supposed to be on his own and be the one to put himself at the risk to protect his subordinates.

Vance gave them some time to process the information, knowing all of them long enough to be certain that they needed it. "Now, what it means for both teams..." He began after adequately long moment in his bureaucratic tone to sign everyone that their personal time was up and they should all return to the business mode. "First what's coming for you, Agent DiNozzo."

Tony turned his eyes at him to listen attentively about the things that needed to be done in the following months. There were two phases of the promotion process. The first one consisted of the candidate's evaluation by either Deputy Assistant Director or by Special Agent in Charge who would review his most recent performance results and discuss the potential promotion with the members of his team, and of a "paper board" which basically meant a review of his personnel records with an emphasis of his previous leadership experiences, assignments, investigative and operational competency and so on.*2

The second phase that could be entered after successful pass of the first phase consisted of a writing exercise and an oral board. Tony rolled his eyes at the writing exercise where he would be presented with a leadership problems consisting of a hypothetical issue in a workplace that requires decisive resolution and he would have to explain and justify _in writing_ the course of action he would take to resolve the issue. But he understood that it had to be officially done.

What he had no problems with was the oral board where he would be formally interviewed by a panel of senior NCIS managers and would present a formal presentation on an assigned topic. His natural communication skills and empathy, together with his nimble tongue and articulacy, would certainly help him to get through any kind of nervousness he might feel.

"I know that the journey you have to go through to become a team leader is more or less quite thorny, Agent DiNozzo," Vance rounded it off, starting to feel unwell from reading all those administrative terms, "but I have no doubts that you'll ace this one. You're our only nominee and your record is second to none."

The appreciative mutter from everyone who agreed with Vance's words made Tony all warm inside and he thanked the Director for the faith and recognition he had in him. Despite coming under scrutiny, he valued the chance he was given and had in mind to fully utilize it because the silent support he was receiving so far was very delightful and it was giving him more energy than he'd ever had.

"To prepare you more for the leadership position, I agree with the suggestion you and Agent Gibbs presented to me yesterday." The Director went on, silencing the twitter and rushing forward with the orders he was about to give as Team Tudor was in the middle of a case they needed to solve. "You two will take turns in the leadership every two weeks until your replacement of Agent Stewart. During your term, Agent Gibbs will move on the position of second-in-command."

He pointedly look at each Team Gibbs member to get their nod of approval that they understood the upcoming hierarchy in the team, not omitting to do so also in the case of both pathologist and the forensic scientist. There were no objections to this order so he sat back and relaxed visibly, feeling that he had the most difficult part behind him which was a relief.

"I decided to give Agent DiNozzo free hand to choose whoever he wants for his team. He's allowed to invite another agent to the case during his leadership days to test that agent out." He then announced and focused his attention to Team Tudor. "But because I'm not a fan of dissolving a functional team, Agent DiNozzo is obliged to test those who are under Agent Stewart's command, first."

Vance simply wanted to satisfy both sides. He knew that 'Henry's' team was well coordinated and Edward with Elizabeth were able to work for three when Mary had to take care of her child. On the other hand, he didn't want to press them on Tony if they didn't meet his visions of the agents he would want to work with. The teams were mostly about two-way trust and that one couldn't be forced.

So, he'd just given Team Tudor the chance to show off their skills and prove Tony that they were worth his interest. And Tony was given an opportunity to approach anyone he wanted, agree with that person and his/her superior on the testing cooperation and make his choice, completely aware that he had to respect the needs of the respective teams. He was sure that the perfect solution would eventually occur.

"If there is already anyone who is not interested in further work with Agent DiNozzo, please report it to me as soon as you can." He added after a moment of silence, realizing that it should be mentioned, too. Not everyone might be thrilled at the idea of working with Tony, after all. "That's probably all concerning your team, Agent Stewart."

Stewart nodded but remained on the spot, waiting for the Director to finish this meeting. Yes, he had a suspect in the custody with his lawyer probably in the building already but that still could wait. He wanted to personally congratulate Tony to his promotion as he really respected him and sign to his team that he agreed with Vance's choice. It was their life opportunity to have another excellent leader in charge as it could take their careers to another level.

"As for Agent Gibbs," Vance carried on, returning to his notes as he checked the points he wanted to talk about, "he's allowed to bring in a new agent to the team and give him or her the appropriate training."

He then smiled widely and closed the file in front of him. "Agent McGee, after DiNozzo's departure to take over his own team, you're being promoted to Senior Field Agent as second-in-command to Agent Gibbs."

For a second, it looked as if some piece of food stuck in Tim's throat because he was literally chocking at the surprising piece of information. He started to cough but was able to notice the invigorating smiles and voices that congratulated him on the promotion he wasn't expecting at all. Ducky had to pat his back a couple of times to help him to calm down so he could be able to answer.

"Thank you, Director." He squeaked out as he tried to catch his breath, accepting Abby's offered hand across the table as she smiled at him encouragingly.

Vance nodded at him and sighed in content. This part of his job was the one he really loved. Nothing felt so good than making people happy. "Well, that's about it, I guess. Does anyone have any questions?" He gave a space to all to express their remarks, comments, observations or objections.

Elizabeth raised her hand and pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Does it mean that we can now bribe Agent DiNozzo so he would want us in his team?" She asked after Vance allowed her to speak up with the wave of his hand in the most innocent voice she could work up, giving everyone a clue that she was clearly joking.

Tony immediately seized the opportunity and winked at her. "Half a million and the job's yours. I only accept banknotes in a black leather briefcase, though." He replied as everyone started to laugh. There wouldn't be lack of funny moments for sure if Tony and Elizabeth worked together.

"I'm sure that you're familiar with the laws of this country and rules of this agency to know that every kind of illegal, unethical or immoral action will be appropriately punished." Vance deadpanned before breaking into a grin. "And if you have in mind payment in kind then I advise you to realize who is DiNozzo's girlfriend. You don't want make an enemy of this one."

Ziva shot a threatening glance at the blonde woman and she returned it immediately with a stony expression. Then both broke into a smile because they knew each other. Elizabeth had been still a naive rookie when she had once met Ziva in the NCIS gym. After a thrashing she had received from the Israeli woman, she had asked her to help her improve her fighting skills and so they had become sparring partners until Ziva had left the agency.

They hadn't been somewhat great friends as Ziva's personal issues at that time hadn't allowed her to befriend many people but they had known each other enough for Ziva to be sure that Elizabeth would always respect her relationship with Tony. The blonde could be almost wanton at times but taken men had always been taboo for her. There was no need for her to be jealous, especially when she knew that Tony despised cheating as much as she did.

After another wave of laughter subdued, Vance looked around to be sure that no one else wanted to be heard. "Great, then! Congratulations to all involved." He said, lingering with his eyes on Andrew, McGee and Tony respectively. "You're dismissed."

Before anyone else could move, he pushed his chair back and stood up, soothing his tie. As their superior, he had to give them even the physical sign that they might leave, especially in a situation like this, not to mention that he had some work to do. Tony stood up right after him and accepted the offered hand from the Director to receive the congratulation for his promotion.

Vance then moved to leave the room but Gibbs stopped him and took him aside to discuss a recent call he had received from Agent Dwayne Pride from the office in New Orleans. In the meantime, rest of the present people stood up from their chairs too, spontaneously rushing towards Tony to offer him their congratulations and express their pride and joy.

Ziva assumed her position next to Tony's side, giving space to dashing Abby to speed towards her boyfriend. A hand of Agent Stewart on her shoulder stopped her in her tracks, though. "If I could jump the line, Miss Sciuto..." He requested politely, his team amassing behind him. "We're in the middle of a case and have some work to do."

Abby endowed him with a wide smile and let him and his team to pass her so they could offer their congratulations first. "Agent DiNozzo..." Andrew reached out his hand and Tony accepted it immediately without hesitation.

"Agent Stewart." He nodded at him appreciatively and smiled. Although they hadn't known each other closely, Andrew had tried to convince him to leave Team Gibbs and work on his career on several occasions when they had the chance to speak privately. He knew that Stewart meant only good and had no intention to harm Gibbs. He was just reasonable enough to see that some good potential was wasted due to unfathomable loyalty.

"I have to say that I agree with the Director. You really are a rightful and best candidate." Agent Stewart said with content in his voice while shaking Tony's hand. "Congratulations and not only to your promotion."

His gaze landed on Ziva and the silent understanding passed among all of them with Ziva gratefully squeezing his shoulder. "Thank you, sir. I'm honoured to replace such a legend like you." Tony replied kindly, knowing that he had quite big shoes to fill in but somehow, it more excited him than scared him.

Stewart nodded at him thankfully and made the space for Mary who was literally breathing on his neck. She excitedly flung her arms around Tony and hugged him tightly to congratulate him. Tony chuckled and returned the hug with the same intensity. He couldn't help but recall how he had tried to woo her a few years back but she had shut him down pretty quickly. Despite the humiliation his vanity had gone through, he and Mary had become reliable colleagues and when he had no one to turn to, she had always supplemented him with some witty remarks.

Elizabeth was the next one in the line, expressing once more her desire to work with Tony. She wasn't a career woman who would lie in wait and jump at every chance to advance in the ranks of the agency, but she wasn't about to turn down the opportunity to work under one of the NCIS legends which Tony indisputably was, either. She would welcome if Ziva joined them, as well, but she also understood her reasons for wanting to stay out of the agency's business.

Tony gladly promised her that he would think about Team Tudor as first, anyway, because it was easier for him to work with agents that were available to him than go and steal from other teams. That made Elizabeth satisfied enough to stop ranting about how awesome and enlightening it would be to be part of the same team and let Edward to step in and congratulate to his friend.

Those two had become friends quite easily, especially after Jimmy had to fulfil his father duties more and more often and together with McGee, they had often spent some of the free time in each other's company, whether it was a drink, cinema or playing some video game. Tony considered him a hardworking man with a fantastic sense of humour and he was really looking forward to working with him.

Edward congratulated him in the similar fashion 'Henry' had, mentioning both the promotion and his relationship with Ziva to the joy of both. Thankful words followed and Team Tudor was commanded to finally take care of their duties and the suspect in the interrogation room. Agent Stewart left the conference as the last one with a polite nod towards Vance and Gibbs who did the same in return.

That finally gave Abby the chance to embrace Tony in a congratulation hug, crushing his bones with her friendship love. "I'm so happy for you. You deserve this so much." She whispered into his ear and Tony thanked her just as quietly. It was important for him that the others were receiving the information so well. He didn't want anyone to be hurt by the necessary decision.

Abby released him and her gaze slipped to Gibbs. "But it'll be so weird not to have you as part of Team Gibbs anymore. I know that it's probably the only way how to..." She bit her tongue and fell silent for a moment. She didn't want to open the old wounds and despite the change that was about to happen in the near future, she was glad that Tony and Gibbs had found some peaceful solution to their strifes. "It'll just take some time to get used to."

"I second that." Tim voiced his opinion behind her back and Abby stepped aside to make a space for him. "But that doesn't mean I'm not glad for you, Tony. It's fantastic."

He reached out his hand towards his surrogate brother and Tony accepted it. "Come here." Tony said and pulled him into a brotherly hug. "I should congratulate you, as well, Mr. McSFA."

Tim chuckled at another McNickname he had to admit he would miss. It could get annoying from time to time but that was simply Tony and he meant no harm by that. "Thanks. I will gladly pass on the title of 'Probie' to someone else." He commented it, still in shock that he was about to get promoted. He suspected that Tony might leave the team to take over his own but he didn't expect to take his place, although it was a natural thing to happen.

"Ah, you know that in your case it was more of endearment of mine for you than a title, Probie." Tony teased him with a huge smile on his face, ignoring the jab he received into his ribs from the woman he loved. "But it's a legacy I'm leaving in your hands. Feel free to do with it whatever you want."

McGee smiled at him in return and made space for shaken Ellie who seemed to be close to tears. "I agree with Abby, too. It will be so hard to get used to you leading your own team." She squeaked out and looked up at Tony timidly. "You're just such a huge part of my NCIS career, Tony. You don't even know how much your partnership means to me."

"Oh, Ellie." Tony embraced her and lightly caressed her hair, actually moved with the sisterly admiration this woman apparently had for him. "I'm not leaving yet, you still have to put up with me for six more months."

She gave out a laugh because she didn't want to look pathetic and smiled at him thankfully to appreciate his warm gesture. Her job at NCIS was really a dream come true and even Jake had to admit that she had gained a second family, something she hadn't had in NSA. And since she was used to be around many people since childhood, she had kinda missed it. These people in the room had filled the void she had felt since she left home.

"Precisely, so you have still a lot of time to learn, Eleanor." Ducky approached them and Ellie kindly let go of Tony to allow both pathologist to congratulate the soon-to-be-promoted man. "It's going to be an honour to see you more often in the autopsy room, Anthony."

"I'll be equally honoured, Ducky." Tony replied and shook hand with both him and Jimmy while Ducky went on about how he meant it in a good way, of course, because it would be way better if people stopped being violent to each other, but then they would have no work but they all surely knew how he had meant it.

The last one in the line was Senior who tried his best to pull himself together and follow Ziva's instructions to be the father he should be and show his pride over his son's advancement. Internally, he fought with the worries about his son's life and what the new position might mean for him. But since everyone was so welcoming and had no similar fears, including Ziva, he guessed it wasn't probably that dangerous.

He pried a smile into his jawbones and came up to his younger version. "Junior, I..." He got stuck for a second before he corrected himself. "I'm so proud of you, my son."

He didn't manage to say anything else, although he wanted to add so many other things, even mentioning that his mother would be absolutely thrilled. But emotions got better of him too quickly and he had to fight the forming tears. This all meant too much for him, not only this one single event in his son's career. He was realizing what else he had missed in his son's life.

"Thank you... Dad." Tony said and his faltering had revealed how moved he actually was. Even though, he often denied it, his father's appreciation meant a world to him. He'd been yearning for it since his childhood so getting it in the adult life meant compensating all the lost and squandered chances in the past.

They hugged to seal the mutual effort to repair their relationship and then Tony finally embraced the woman who, at least in his opinion, was the reason of all of this. Without her wonderful support, he would have probably never manned himself up to go talk to Gibbs and put his foot down, without her return, his confidence would have been on a very low degree and he would have still floundered in the terrible mood that had been preying on his mind.

It was absolutely unbelievable what sort of power she had over him but he was far from complaining. He loved her and her mere presence energized him in a way he could have just dreamt about in the past. Relationship with her was everything he'd always fantasized about but in a way, it still had that element of exciting surprise. She was his soul mate and being with her was such a natural thing.

She smiled up at him proudly and for a moment, they just stared into each other's eyes. Then he put a finger under her chin and leaned down to kiss her deeply, feeling no embarrassment to do so in front of his colleagues, his father, his boss and the Director. None of them had voiced any protests, after all. Even Abby watched them with a smile on her lips, feeling content over the happiness of her friends.

_**The End of Chapter 30** _

* * *

*1 Henry VIII of England from the House of Tudor (1491 – 1547) – one of the most famous English kings due to his six marriages and initiation of English Reformation, as he appointed himself the Supreme Head of the Church of England, separating it from the papal authority in Rome. Father of Mary I. of England (with his first wife Catherine of Aragon), nicknamed as "Bloody Mary" who tried to reverse the English Reformation and Elizabeth I. of England (with his second wife Anne Boleyn), nicknamed "The Virgin Queen" for she never married, but established golden age of English history during which literature, music and poetry flowered (William Shakespeare).

*2 Naval Criminal Investigative Service (NCIS) manuals 1 and 2, and NCIS Service Managers Internal Control (MIC) Plan, 2007 – 2016, pages 181 and 182, available on governmentattic (dot) org


	31. Chapter 31

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 31** _

Later that day, Ziva pushed the door leading to the escape staircase open and started to descend the stairs down to the laboratory. She'd just had a very nice lunch with Tony and kept humming in pleasure over the deliciousness of her meal with Tony's sweet kisses as a dessert. In all honesty, she would have rather skipped the meal consisting of real food and dragged him to some dark alley to have her way with him but hungry Tony was quite grumpy.

So, she had dropped her initial idea and let her boyfriend to stuff his stomach since it had been finally stable enough to receive some food. The poor baby had been so nervous because of the promotion announcement and reactions of his friends that he hadn't eaten anything since last night. Once the tension had loosened in his body, he had started to behave like a ravenous wolf that hadn't hunted and killed a prey for months.

Senior had left shortly after the announcement, stating that he had some lunch plans already, but he had invited them for a dinner and they had accepted his invitation. After the lunch, Ziva had returned back to the NCIS building with Tony and while her boyfriend had gone to carry out his duties, she had decided to pay visit to the Goth forensic scientist.

Tony had confessed to her that he'd had a chat with Abby and hopefully managed to convince her to stop being mad at Ziva for what she had done to him. And so Ziva had decided to make use of her presence in the same building as Abby was and pay her a visit. She'd noticed the looks she'd been receiving from the Goth which held that 'I-want-to-talk-to-you-but-I'm-too-proud-to-make-the-first-step' meaning and opted for taking the initiative in breaking the ice.

She ran down the last couple of stairs, decelerating her speed by grasping the railing tightly. Suddenly she found herself face to chest of a well-built tall man who unexpectedly opened the same door she had in mind to open, but from the opposite side. She let out a shriek of surprise, catching hold of the man as she lurched and he helped her to regain her balance.

"Careful, Miss!" He exclaimed as he steadied her, letting go of her arm afterwards. "Are you okay?"

Ziva threw her hair backwards so it would stop getting in her way of seeing properly. "Yes, thank you." She replied gratefully and smiled up at the man as she looked him up and down.

His curious and kind blue eyes studied her with the same interest, stressing his manly and handsome facial features, crowned by the cut short blond hair. Neat, light blue shirt graced the colour of his eyes while the black tie around his neck added up on his magnificence. The badge on his chest had an inscription 'United States Park Police' which was the same one as on his shoulder patch, accompanied by the Sergeant rank patch.

"Aren't you Burt by any chance?" Ziva asked him, connecting the dots inside her head because Tony had told her about a certain US Park cop who was apparently dating Abby.

The man smiled at her widely and she had to curb herself a lot to stop the blush creeping into her cheeks. "I happen to be him." He replied in affirmative and extended his hand to her politely. "Burt Moore, pleased to meet you."

She accepted the hand and shook it, her knees going weak with the look and smile he was giving her. No wonder this man had managed to win Abby's heart because if Ziva hadn't already been head over heels with Tony, she would have probably fell for this handsome, nice and kind man. He was radiating so much calmness and warmth, it was hard not to feel influenced by it.

"The pleasure is mine." She answered when she realized that she hadn't uttered a word yet, licking her lips to wet them. "I am..."

Burt smiled when the woman in front of him suddenly fell silent, blinking rapidly because she seemed to forget her own name. He was used to have such an effect on women, though he hardly used it to his own needs. Despite his 'divine' look, as Abby had once called him, he was a fair-minded and honourable man. He wasn't a fan of desirous women trying to hunt him down.

"Ziva David, I presume." He finished for her nonchalantly as if he hadn't noticed her inability to speak up. "Abby has told me so much about you."

If he could count an appreciative nod accompanied with thoughtful chew on her bottom lip as an answer, then he'd gotten one. For a couple of moments, she kept staring at him until her gaze slipped down on their still shaking hands. She released his hand and turned red, giggling shyly to cover her behaviour of a smitten girl. She had absolutely no idea why he had such an effect on her but she could hardly resist any of it.

"I'd love to stay and chat some more but I really have to go." Burt apologized when Ziva didn't seem to make any attempt to converse with him. "But I hope to talk to you some time in the future."

"Of course!" Ziva exclaimed and snapped out of her reverie, mentally kicking herself for her stupid behaviour of a teenage girl. "I am sorry to keep you for so long and I look forward seeing you soon."

She left the escape staircase without waiting for some verbal or non-verbal goodbye because she'd embarrassed herself quite enough. Once alone, she let out a deep sigh of relief. Burt wasn't exactly her type when it came to the physical appearance but the aura around him and his natural charm made her to think about things she shouldn't have as a taken, pretty much in love, woman.

She repelled all the naughty thoughts out of her mind and set off determinedly on her original way towards Abby's lab. She could already hear the muffled sounds of the strange type of music the Goth used to listen to when she needed to think in the Christmas carols edition. Abby was apparently rejecting to let go of her favourite time of the year, still having Christmas decorations everywhere.

The sight that arose in front of her eyes wasn't the usual, familiar one she was used to, though. Sure, Christmas was still pretty much present in the lab but seeing Abby absent-mindedly adjusting the colourful bunch of flowers in the vase, thoughtfully sinking her teeth into her bottom lip, was something that took Ziva by surprise. Not that she hadn't ever seen the girly side of her friend but she wasn't receiving flowers often.

She leaned against the doorframe and watched the Goth for a while silently. "Are they from the handsome man I have just met on the staircase?" She asked in a friendly tone when she was sure that she wouldn't startle the other woman and her voice would be heard through the music.

Abby lifted her head, mentally kicking herself for her inattention because she should be on alert to protect her lab from unwanted intruders which Ziva wasn't, but still. "Burt came to apologize for the argument we had during Christmas." She nodded in affirmation, keeping the conversation amicable although she didn't doubt Ziva's motivation for her visit.

"Well, I know that bouquet cannot fix everything," Ziva remarked and smiled at her, "but I hope you forgave each other. He seems like a good man."

The Goth in the lab coat gave out a deep sigh and momentarily closed her eyes. "Yeah, sometimes too good." She said unhappily, returning to the adjustment of the flowers in the vase.

Truth was that her relationship with Burt was coming through a crisis. Spontaneous, soft-hearted Abby had been paying more attention to the problems of her friends than to her boyfriend and despite Burt's effort to understand her Samaritan nature, he had manifested his concerns a couple of times. That had led to a numerous arguments during which energetic Abby was going crazy from Burt's stoic coolness and endeavour to hold the talk calmly.

She wasn't mad at him for that he'd been trying to tame her because that what was she needed in her life, after all. She was mad at him that he had always tried to make up with her almost immediately, not being able to comprehend that she sometimes needed to process and think about the stuff. And it had always been him who apologized although he didn't have a reason to because the argument had been her fault. And she'd always yielded to his apologies because she couldn't resist his adorable face.

"As someone who dated a couple of scoundrels in my life," Ziva said as she understood her remark in her own way, "you want a good man, trust me."

She went inside and approached Abby, helping her to put the flowers into the vase. "They are far more reliable because they do not betray easily." She went on while Abby smiled at her gratefully. "And when it comes to passion, both scoundrels and good men provide it equally."

Abby laughed softly, surprised how easy it was to fall into a standard conversation with Ziva and let her guard down. "Although, in the long-term sense, I would say that good men are better in providing the passion." Ziva added thoughtfully, nudging Abby playfully. "Their love is not that fierce-tempered as the scoundrels' one."

The Goth, satisfied with the result of the bouquet, put the vase on her table to put the flowers on display for everyone to see. "I know." She said and turned around to face the Israeli woman. "But sometimes I just can't help but wonder what is it that he sees in me that makes him think I'm the good one for him and why he loves me the way he does."

Some people could say that they were a horrible match. Abby was lively, Goth-looking woman who devoted her life to the people she loved and her job, hating injustices and helping people. Burt was sometimes too reserved, handsome, adorable and kind man with a strong sense for justice, taking his job very seriously and always supportive when anyone needed it.

In a sense, they had a lot in common but in certain parts of their personalities, they were complete opposites. And the bad luck had it that they were different in those things that were vital for having a relationship. It wasn't the first time Abby was toying with the idea of a break-up because it wasn't working the way they both wanted. On the other hand, she really liked him and he liked her, as much as it could seem odd.

Ziva nodded in understanding, astonished that Abby had decided to confide to her considering the state of their friendship but she took the offered chance. "I cannot speak for Burt but I can speak from my experience with Tony." She told her and came up to her to soothingly squeeze her shoulder. After all, no one could understand these thoughts like Ziva. She'd wondered about the same when it came to her relationship with Tony.

"He sees the real you. The good and bad things in you. And yet, he loves you for who you are because he knows that the good things prevail and the bad things, however annoying they can get, can be overpowered by the power of love." She told her knowingly, speaking right from the bottom of her heart. Tony had confirmed the truthfulness of her words more times than she could count. "And in the end, you can become a better person than you have ever dreamt to be."

Abby parted her lips in awe as the crushing force of what Ziva had been saying fell on her. It wasn't just about what she'd been saying but most importantly _how._ She could see that it hadn't been just some friendly advice, something Ziva had heard somewhere or what common sense usually claimed. She'd been really speaking from her own experience as she had mentioned, she'd been having the same thoughts and questions just like Abby. It felt weird, but satisfying, that they had a connection like that.

"Thank you." Abby said and pulled her into a hug she considered simple enough. "I needed to hear something like that."

Ziva smiled and hugged her back friendly, being careful not to overstep the boundaries Abby had set up. "Anytime." She whispered, moved by the sweet moment they had been sharing.

They let go of each other, both a bit uncertain what this conversation had meant for them as friends. Ziva had enough of the silence quite soon, though. "Okay, I have to ask..." She began carefully because she didn't want Abby to get so defensive like the other day. "What we are doing right now... Is it some kind of a first step back to our friendship or...?"

The change of mood in Abby was visible from space and no one even need some super powerful telescope to ascertain it. It seemed as if those two had completely reversed the roles. Abby now was the one quickly building the wall around herself, brick by brick, to protect herself while Ziva assumed the aggressive position, ready to attack and push until she got what she wanted.

"I don't know." Abby answered uncertainly after a second of silence, rooted the spot below her feet. Although she had expected such an inquiry, she realized that she wasn't prepared the way she desired to be.

Ziva, the master of evasive manoeuvres, sighed and decided to shed some light on the matter. "I just want to know whether it does even stand a chance to persuade you or if I should just give up entirely." She told the Goth, signing her that she would love to know if she just wasn't wasting her and Abby's time.

Abby turned around away from her to avoid Ziva's attempt to squeeze her shoulder, protectively folding her arms around her. "I don't know." She repeated the words like a mantra. "I'm just not sure at the moment."

She understood Ziva's motives for her questions but she had had other issues on her mind like Tony's promotion and her relationship with Burt. She needed more time because she couldn't honestly tell if it had been or hadn't been first step back to their friendship. She couldn't even determine if she welcomed Ziva's active approach to patch what had been once broken.

Ziva didn't seem to be satisfied with such a reply, though. "It is a simple question, Abby." She remarked, her voice hardened by the annoyance she felt.

"You're pushing too hard, Ziva." Abby snapped at her angrily, hating the tone the Israeli woman was talking to her. She was supposed to be apologetic, not aggressive and pushy.

Ziva's face twisted into an ironical smirk as she folded her arms across her chest. "Well, at least you know how it feels." She deadpanned mockingly. Countless times she'd been an object of Abby's pushing to say, admit or do something. She would be lying if she said that she didn't enjoy that she'd given Abby the taste of her own medicine.

The forensic scientist stared at her with wide eyes, trying her best to keep herself at bay and not to lash out. It could backfire at her easily as she had no retort to Ziva's claim and she hardly wanted to start the blaming game of 'I-may-be-this-but-you-are-this', not after Ziva had told her such nice words about her boyfriend loving her for who she was. That would be just wrong.

She lowered her head in shame and walked back to her working table, logging in to her profile to enter a couple of commands to make her machines work on the forensic results she had been assigned to do. Ziva remained where she stood, following her actions with her eyes. The Goth then went around her table, pushing some buttons on the centrifuge before turning around to face Ziva once more.

"I'm sorry but I can't give you a simple answer." She uttered quietly, playing with her fingers and looking everywhere but at Ziva. "I haven't read all the emails yet."

The Israeli woman shifted her weight on her legs and took a deep breath to calm her temper down. "Does the answer really depend on you reading or not reading the emails?" She asked her with interest. She wasn't sure whether to feel flattered that Abby considered the emails so important or annoyed that she was wasting her time reading ancient thoughts that didn't even matter anymore.

"Yes. Tony came down here talk to me yesterday and asked me to stop being mad at you for his broken heart and I agreed." Abby confirmed, lifting her eyes towards Ziva with new determination. "So, I've started to read them from the beginning and focus only on our friendship."

Ziva's lack of surprise gave away that Tony had confessed to her about it and thus revealed Ziva's reason for her presence in the laboratory. "So, does it mean that you are still interested in being friends with me?" Ziva carried on in her pushing, although her tone was visibly more conciliatory. All she wanted to know if the energy she was exhausting on the endeavours to repair their friendship was worth it.

"Ziva, please..." Abby begged her with a sigh, clasping her hands in an imploring gesture. "I don't want to give you the answer when I don't know for sure."

Ziva would probably back down at that moment if she didn't have the feeling that Abby was sure for quite a while now but had just decided to use this situation to teach Ziva a lesson for her past deeds. "Well, everything seems to testify that you still want to be my friend." She pointed out Abby's talkativeness that slipped to indecisiveness soon after.

If the answer had been a definite 'no', she would have already said it. Her hesitation could be explained only one way and that was her inability to say that she didn't want to be friends with Ziva anymore, simply because it was the truth. And thanks to that, Ziva still had hope that one day, things between them would return to normal again and they would be the good friends they had used to be.

"You still wanted to remain friends before you even knew that Tony would return from his Christmas vacation with me." She remarked curtly because she had an evidence to support her statement. "Why else you would send me the Christmas Wish email?"

It seemed to astonish Abby that she had noticed the email with the gif of dancing skeletons wishing her Merry Christmas. The Goth couldn't help but let her mind wander, trying to guess what Tony and Ziva had been doing and where when Ziva had read her email and what reaction she could have had. If they had been honest about their story-telling, then they had been in Israel.

Such a thought perplexed her because until now she hadn't returned to her original thoughts about Tony and Ziva back in the time when she had had no idea that those two had been already together. "Tony was gone for Christmas." She then stated sadly as she was going through her memories. "And in the mental state he was in, I thought that he went to Paris to torment himself even more with the memories of you."

Ziva raised her eyebrow in question at the mention of Paris. She had a right to suspect that it might be just another attempt to draw from Ziva what had happened there between her and Tony as it hadn't been the first time Abby had tried to trick her in unintentional confession. And she highly doubted that Tony would spill the beans about something like that.

"I don't know what happened between you two there and if anything even happened." Abby clarified quickly upon seeing Ziva's quizzical glance. "I just assume that something must have happened when you guys are making such a big deal out of it."

The Israeli woman nodded in thoughtful acknowledgement. She had no doubts that Abby had envisioned some carnal desires being fulfilled but the Paris' mysterious event had more or less emotional and healing effect, at least for her. And Tony had respected her privacy enough to keep everything for himself for which she had regarded him highly and had been very grateful to him.

"It... It just made me think about you, as well. And I wondered if... if I sent you the card then maybe you would reach out after another year of nothing." Abby continued sullenly, asking herself silently if Ziva would have really done it if things had gone different way. However, she knew that she would never get the answer.

Then, she looked straight into her eyes and held her gaze for a couple of gravely quiet seconds as even the music stopped. "You have to understand that the Tony who left for Christmas vacation was entirely different than the one that returned. He was sad and broken." She told her and Ziva nodded in understanding to sign that she could get the picture because she had spent her time with him trying to fix him and nudge him to do things to solve his situation.

"He needed an impulse to know that life still had some meaning and he should keep fighting against all odds." The Goth added, showing how much she had wanted her best friend to be happy and make him understand that his situation had been just temporary. "One phone call from you would prove that."

Ziva didn't want to think about it as a blow to her self-confidence and take it that she had been supposed to be used as a tool to make Tony feel better, and thus Abby's email had nothing to do with their friendship. But the bitter aftertaste was slipping down her tongue to her throat and she had to use a lot of her self-control to prevent herself from saying a couple of snide remarks. It wouldn't be right in this situation.

"Desperate times, desperate measures... I get it." She managed to say simply, swallowing all other words that scratch her throat from the inside. "Let me rephrase my question then."

She took a deep breath and rolled a couple of words over her tongue to put a sentence together the way she wanted it. "Should I give you more time and space, leave you be for now and you will give me a call when you make a decision?" She asked the forensic scientist in ceremonial seriousness. "Or shall I keep persuading you and assuring you that my interest in repairing our friendship still lasts?"

Abby gave herself a while to ponder the two options to find out which one was more suitable for her. She considered Ziva's undying interest as welcoming because despite everything that had happened, it proved that she had regretted the way she had said, or hadn't had said was better to say, goodbye. On the other hand, Abby had a lot of stuff to deal with at that moment so some time and space were certainly convenient.

"Give me the time." She then answered determinedly, fully convinced that she had made the right decision. "I promise it won't take long."

Ziva nodded, trying very much not to look defeated but she recognized Abby's right to take some time to think so she eventually let go of the inner disappointment and smiled at the other woman. "Okay." She acknowledged with pride and acceptation.

She didn't have the time to say anything else because she became a victim of a crushing hug that was so typical for Abby. The Goth could say whatever she wanted but she had a weak spot for scenes like this one. They bid each other a sweet goodbye and Ziva left the lab with an acceptable feeling of satisfaction. Things were on a good way with Abby, she was certain of that.

* * *

Ziva took the keys from Tony whose hands were shaking uncontrollably and unlocked the door, gently shoving him inside with her hand on his back. He obediently followed her command, walking absent-mindedly around the apartment to take his winter clothes off and make himself comfortable at home. He felt extremely hazy and almost immediately flopped down on the couch, staring into nothingness.

Ziva sighed wearily as she took her clothes off, as well, and went to slip into some more comfortable ones. They had just arrived back from the dinner with Senior and although everything had gone exceptionally well, she couldn't stop the feeling that something was terribly wrong. Since certain point of the evening, Tony had visibly had to force himself to talk, smile or even basically interact with his surroundings, slipping into some kind of absent coma where he remained lost in his thoughts.

The evening overall had been pleasant, though. They had arrived into good old-fashioned Italian restaurant called _Otello_ near Dupont Circle* that was ran by Senior's long-time friend. Ziva remained moderate and chose the classic _Spaghetti alla Bolognese_ , while the men stayed loyal to the meat with Tony choosing _Petti di Pollo ai Peperoni_ (Chicken breast sautéed with white wine and sweet peppers) and Senior having _Trota alla Livornese_ (Fresh rainbow trout with tomato, capers and black olive sauce).

The meal had been delicious as they topped it up with out-of-this-world tiramisu and flushed it down with Sauvignon Blanc. The conversation had flown nicely, all of them had been jovial and talkative as they had had so many things to cover in detail. However, Tony's enthusiasm had subdued gradually during the evening to the point of complete silence and despite efforts of both Senior and Ziva, he hadn't been able to give up on it.

_What did happen to him?_ She asked herself the same question for at least thousandth time that night as she went out of the bedroom and found him sitting on the same spot which meant that he hadn't made any single movement. She walked around him, hoping that he would notice her and when he didn't, she went inside the kitchen to grab two whiskey glasses.

She poured herself a glass of Baileys Irish Cream and Jameson to him, put inside a couple of ice cubes and went back to the living room. With a gentle pat on his back, she made him to look at her and then she handed him the glass which he accepted gratefully, humming in delight over the pleasant burn inside his throat the alcohol liquid had caused.

"What is up with you?" She asked him worriedly when he kept his mouth shut which was something so uncharacteristic from Tony that she couldn't help but question deeper what had happened to him.

It wasn't until a gentle squeeze of his hand and repeating the question that he finally registered her presence next to him as she sat down on the vacant place. "Who? Me?" He played dumb because he needed to process whatever was happening inside him first and then share it with someone else.

"Yes, you." She insisted and looked around herself to stress out her next words. "Do you see anyone else here?"

He didn't answer and just lowered his eyes in shame over his thoughts which he wasn't ready to share with her just yet. He could feel her eyes studying him and wished that he could let the floor to swallow him so he could be in peace. But the truth was that since he had a little private chat with his father during the dinner, the peace was miles away from him.

"Are you scared of the promotion?" She asked him the first thing that came up to her mind. She knew that although Senior was proud of him, he feared for his life immensely. She wondered if Tony hadn't realized the same thing after talking to his father some more about it and started to doubt himself.

He lifted his head up and looked at her in surprise. "No, I'm not." He assured her and took a quick sip of his whiskey. "It feels odd, of course, but that's all."

He looked away again and fell back into his meditative state, slowly shaking the glass in his hands, making the ice cubes hit against each other. Ziva shrugged her shoulders and took a sip from her own glass, taking a moment to reconsider her inquiring strategy. She'd given him the chance to tell her what was bothering him and he hadn't. Since she wasn't about to drop the topic, she decided to stop walking around the bush and ask him directly.

"Okay, what did your father tell you?" She queried him, touching his arm to sign him that she was talking to him so he should pay attention to her.

His hand with the glass stopped mid-air towards his lips. "What?" He asked distantly, his heart beating erratically from fear that she wanted to go deeper with this. He simply wanted to protect her from his thoughts because she wasn't responsible for them.

"What did he tell you?" She repeated with an upset sigh, wondering more and more with his each attempt to dodge her questioning what kind of trouble was poisoning his mind. "I don't have to be Einstein, Tony, to know that you two talked about something while I was in the restrooms in the restaurant. Whatever he told you must have obviously disconcerted you."

His heart went out to her as he realized the depth of her worries about him. He put a finger under her chin and leaned over to her to award her for her concern with a soft, loving kiss. He lingered on her lips for a while, loving the intoxicating smell of the Irish cream and something that was just _her_. He knew that it wasn't going to stop her but he needed a little more time before he would shed a light into his mind.

She let him to kiss her but once he pulled back, she sent him a quizzical look full of expectation. "It might give you the wrong impression." He warned her, although he had just realized that he needed someone to confide to. Thinking about it just by himself could bring him on the edge of insanity in no time.

"I still want to hear it." She accepted all the risks coming with this conversation. She needed to know what was running through his head.

He sighed and looked on some invisible point in front of him as he recalled the conversation with his father that had happened after Ziva had excused herself and had gone to the toilet. It didn't do him any troubles because Senior's voice kept bouncing against the aching walls of his head, lodging in his mind and intensifying his inner suffering he'd been through since his childhood.

" _Aren't you afraid that she will leave you again? Because if you are, then you must beat it, son. And you won't ever do it if you keep denying the truth inside your heart, the true reason of your fear."_

He took a deep breath to steady his quivering voice and calm down his rapidly beating heart. "He asked me about my fear of you leaving me." He confessed and risked a glance at her to see her reaction. It pleased him that she was keeping her cool. "And he pointed out something I haven't taken into consideration before."

She nodded in understanding and reached for his hand, opening his palm and intertwining their fingers so he could feel the warmth of her body. She wanted to assure him that whatever was bothering him, he could speak about it freely without worrying about her reactions. He sent her a grateful look as he took a sip from his whiskey to gather more courage.

"He told me that if I'm supposed to defeat the fear, I have to face its true origin and admit to myself that it's not just about you in particular." He explained, carefully rolling the words inside his mouth to express everything in the right way. "But that the fear stems from something that happened before we two even met."

He fell silent for a short moment and that gave Ziva a chance to briefly reflect on his life to ponder his words and their meaning. His fear apparently had some older, strong roots from the past, turning into a demon that poisoned and undermined constantly his self-confidence. It must have been quite important incident in his life if it had influenced him subconsciously that much to affect his behaviour in the future.

"Someone else who left you, then?" She asked him and his knuckles went white as he tightly squeezed her hand to sign her that she'd hit the nail on the head. After this confirmation about his evident fear of abandonment, she came up with the logical name that popped up in her mind. "Wendy?"

To her surprise, he shook his head in disagreement but the slight double-take he did told her that he had come to the realization that Wendy had been partially responsible for his fear, as well. "My mother." He whispered the right answer with difficulty.

" _I know it might sound disrespectful to her memory, Junior. But technically, she is the first woman who has ever abandoned you, albeit unwillingly. And be honest with yourself. You've never really recovered from that loss. Because I know that I haven't."_

She opened her mouth and breathed out understandingly as the realization dawned on her. She'd lost her mother just like him but she couldn't deny that their situations were different. She'd been adult enough to understand what her death had meant for her and deal with it accordingly. But for an eight-year old boy who had become dependent on his grieving father, it must have been way harder.

Compassion and sympathy filled her heart because she had a notion how much he held his mother's memory dear. Considering his reluctance to talk about his childhood and share his memories, she had no doubt that Senior had hit the right spot with this one. He'd never appropriately dealt with her passing, so it was no wonder that the fear of being abandoned by those he loved kept living inside him.

" _In a way, we both blame her for the crater her death caused between us. Instead of bringing us together, it divided us. But I know that it's mostly my fault and I completely understand that you're also afraid of becoming me."_

With Seniors' words echoing in his head, Tony took a deep breath to ease up some of the accumulated tensions inside his chest, grateful for Ziva's comforting gesture of drawing circles with her palm on his back. "I know it might sound irrational as she didn't leave me because she wanted to... But I hold it against her in a way." He said slowly, musing aloud over his father's speech that had been surprisingly mature and spot-on.

She leaned over to him and nuzzled her face against his arm to snuggle more with him and show him her support. She didn't find anything irrational on his anger, quite the contrary she understood it. Her mother's death had destroyed his childhood, the beautiful ideal world he had been living in. He had been too young to comprehend the reasons for his sudden misery and such feeling simply had the tendency to remain in that person even after coming of age and finally grasping some of the facts.

"And considering what happened to my family afterwards..." He continued sulkily, lifting his arm so she could snuggle against his side, lying her head on his shoulder comfortably. "I realized I've been struggling with another fear for my whole life because it goes hand in hand with the fear of abandonment my mother's death apparently caused."

Ziva sighed sadly and repeated drawing the circles with her palm but this time on his chest and stomach. She looked up at him to guess that another fear of his and was taken aback by the expression of his face and his posture in general. She was familiar with this kind of look because aside herself, she'd seen it on another person that was very close to her – her half-brother Ari.

"Fear of becoming your father." She assessed knowingly and he turned his eyes on her, silent mutual understanding settling between them. He was glad he could tell it someone who actually had a notion what kind of burden such a feeling was.

Senior hadn't been a bad person despite his flaws and questionable ways he used to muddle along. But his profligate life, his disinterest in his son when he had needed him the most and his efforts to avoid his responsibility had inevitably left its marks on Tony. And so he naturally resolved to be everything but his father. Now and then, though, Tony couldn't ignore that some of his behaviour patterns had been the same ones like Senior's. And in those moments, he dreaded himself.

"Do you think he is right?" Ziva asked him, returning back to the basics of his fears to know if Tony agreed with his father or if he considered him wrong.

_Don't let neither of those fears to consume you, my son. You're far away from becoming me. And she returned to be with you which proves how much she loves you. You have nothing to be afraid of._

Tony closed his eyes and down the rest of the whiskey without looking. "I'm afraid so." He replied when the scorching fluid reached his stomach, spreading warm feeling all over his body. "It all makes sense, you know. More or less because he's been through the similar ordeal like me. And he doesn't want me to fail the way he did."

She used her hand on his chest to push him back into the sitting position so she could look at him. The words she wanted to say to assure him that he had nothing to worry about, that she was here with him and they would together get to the bottom of this, got stuck in her throat, though, for some reason. Maybe it was the word 'together' she couldn't bring herself to say because they had been once in a similar situation when he'd offered her 'together' and she had dismissed it, degrading it to 'alone'.

Staring into her eager eyes that screamed silently at him something, he palmed her cheek and rubbed it lovingly. He didn't know what she planned to tell him but he was actually glad for that she remained silent. To ask for more patience and greater understanding wasn't an easy task and he was in need of a quiet moment to sort out his thoughts properly.

"I know what I promised you and I intend to keep it. I keep working on trusting you and I strongly believe that you won't leave me for whatever reason, Ziva." He told her despite her mumbling protests that she wanted to say something first, shushing her as he put a finger on her lips. "But I can't also deny that what he said put a bee in my bonnet and I can't stop thinking about it."

Her struggle to let the words out subdued as she listened to him and once she stopped trying to force them out, her throat loosened its grip on her vocal chords. Instead, she leaned into his touch and let him talk to her and pour his heart out. Although she knew that the 'but' was coming, it didn't lessen the importance of those first two sentences he had said. They meant a world to her.

He took a deep breath in order to control his emotions and gather the courage. "I keep wondering whether I can ever get over it. So, I'm terribly sorry..." He started to apologize and refused to let go of her head when she jerked with it as the fear filled her eyes. "...but artlessly trusting you might take longer time and it might be harder than I first anticipated. All I'm asking for is an inexhaustible patience."

To her astonishment, he moved away from her and bent down to put his head into her lap as a sign of his undying devotion. Not to bury her fingers into his hair and play with it was a sin in her opinion so no wonder she did exactly that. He purred and nestled down even more, wrapping his arms around her waist. There was something very desperate on this action so letting him to tighten his grip was a sure thing for her.

While she massaged his scalp, mulling over her next words, he seemed to absolutely calm down in her arms. "You do not have to be sorry, Tony. We all have our demons from the past that make us fear of something." She said after a moment of silence and he gave out a deep sigh of relief. "I have already dealt with mine but you obviously kept this locked up for a very long time. Is there even someone who knows the whole story?"

He shook his head to sign his denial and curled up as if he could hide in her lap forever. His desire was understandable because to imagine that he'd been trying to deal with this all by himself, never confiding to anyone about it and rather choosing to ignore it, was beyond imaginable. She kept raking his hair to soothe him until his breathing evened out, reaching all the way on his back to help him relax.

"Okay. Then we will work through this together." She stated firmly, knowing that he wouldn't have any objections, her earlier insecurity over saying that word gone. He had tried to do it on his own and he had failed. It was time for him to let someone to help and she was more than willing to be that someone.

He lifted his head up to look at her, immediately closing the gap between as he started sucking on her lips. Returning the kiss, she pushed away all the thoughts that had run through her mind like lighting when she had noticed his watery eyes and she had realized that he'd been on the verge of crying. He was talking about his dead mother, of course that he would be emotionally weakened.

The intimate moment seemed to help him to progress towards some sort of inner peace as he melted into her arms, his stiffened muscles relaxing and his mind closing off the dark thoughts. Until now, he'd been agitated over a mere mention of his mother without actually understanding why such feelings had always seized him. That was going to change as he really had in plan to deal with this once and for all.

Once they parted, he leaned his forehead against hers and looked deeply into her brown eyes he could drown in for eternity. "Yes, we will." He vowed solemnly and caressed her gorgeous natural curls. "I really don't want to mad at my mum."

She laughed softly at the tone that had graced his voice which was wistful, yet playful. "Anger belongs to the five stages of grief**, Tony." She lectured him, pulling back to look at him sympathetically.

"Does that even work?" He asked her, closing his eyes in pleasure as she ran her fingers over his face, caressing him lovingly. "Those five stages of grief?"

Smiling, she scratched his head to ruffle his hair. "Not in all cases but sometimes, it does work." She admitted expertly as she was well-versed in dealing with the loss of a loved one. "You do not even know how angry I was at Tali. If she did not go where she did, she could have... Everything would have been different."

Her trembling voice faltered for a moment before she had found her stability again. Tony sadly put his arms around her to soothe some of the pain she was currently reliving. Once she calmed down, she patted his back to let him know that she was okay and he didn't have to comfort her anymore. This talk was about him, so they could reminiscence about her sister some time later.

He sat back and stared in front of himself in silence for a couple of seconds. "I have to let go of that anger, right?" He asked rhetorically and no one in particular. Despite wanting to do it, he couldn't help but feel a strange kind of emptiness because he'd been living with this emotion since he could remember. It felt as if his best buddy was supposed to leave him. Only the 'best buddy' was a cancer in reality, poisoning his mind.

"Eventually, yes." She said and took his hand into her to keep providing the support he needed. "You do not have to go through all the stages as I think that you have already been through Denial, Bargaining and Depression. But instead of Acceptance, you went straight back to Anger."

His nod of agreement pleased her inner analytical sense, glad that she could make a contribution and help him to deal with his feelings. He looked at her with unspoken question in his eyes that had only one meaning – he wanted from her to explain to him why he'd been so prone to let the fear conquer his mind and why it'd kept adhering to him like a tick, sucking out his self-confidence – simply, why he'd gone back to anger instead of acceptance as she had pointed out.

Taking a deep breath, she sighed. "It is understandable. Many people confuse acceptance with oblivion and so they desperately hold on to one of the stages in order not to forget and keep the memory alive." She followed up where she had left as carefully as she could without accusing him of deliberately staying miserable. "But trust me, acceptance is the right way to honour someone's memory."

She had been experienced enough with this feeling to simply _know_. From the death of her sister and her mother, to the loss of her half-brother and her father, she could say that she was a veteran in dealing with grief. And despite some slip-ups, she'd been able to accept their passing and start cherish the memories and recall only the good things. After all, there was no reason to stay forever bitter and sad over something she could hardly prevent.

Tony definitely acknowledged her erudition with an understanding nod of his head and then he completely submitted himself into her hands by lying his head back into her lap. In the end, there was no one else in the world he trusted more in this regard than her. She'd been the one in a very long time who had managed to draw more than a couple of words about his mother a couple of years ago. And he already trusted her with his heart. It was the easiest task out of this long journey towards healing his battered soul.

_**The End of Chapter 31** _

* * *

* Dupont Circle – traffic circle, park, neighbourhood and historic district in Northwest Washington D.C.

** Kübler-Ross model (commonly known as five stages of grief) is a model of progression of emotional states usually experienced by terminally ill patients and people dealing with the death of a loved one. It's not taken as universal method of dealing with grief due to the lack of scientific evidence and is not applicable on everyone.


	32. Chapter 32

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 32** _

Ziva stepped away from the counter in the kitchen and weighed up her creation with her eyes before smiling contentedly. The breakfast tray was a work of an artist, one could say. It was almost a shame to destroy it by eating everything but since it was the very simple purpose of a breakfast tray, she was willing to do it. Not to mention that she'd gotten up early to fix this morning meal for her boyfriend.

It was Thursday, December 31st 2015, the last day of the year. Although going to work would be a normal occurrence for Tony, he took a day off to spend a lazy day with her as they barely had any time together alone since they had returned on Sunday. She just wanted to demonstrate her gratitude for such an idea because she had in plan to make use of the day to keep living the fairy-tale they had immersed themselves into in Prague more than a week ago.

Noting that it was half past nine in the morning, she took the tray and tiptoed her way towards the bedroom where she found her drowsy sweetheart tossing and turning in the bed sleepily, groping around with his hands in an attempt to find her. She laughed softly and put the tray on the bed, reaching into his hair to caress him and let him know that she was there with him.

He turned around, blinked a couple of times and yawned, stretching his arms and mumbling some intelligible words as he was coming to himself after the good night sleep. "Good Morning." He uttered in a raspy voice and she shuddered with pleasure at it because it was sexy as hell. "I smell something tasty."

She laughed softly, sitting next to him and rubbing her hand from his hair down his stomach. "As I know you, it was probably an innuendo." She reproved him teasingly when he focused his eyes on her, looking at her as if she was the only woman in the world.

In response, he cheekily licked his lips and reached for her with his hands. She obliged immediately and bent down to give him a proper 'good morning' kiss and welcome him to the new day of his life. Life he was now sharing with her. She still kept hovering over him, though, because despite her greed to engage in certain activities, she didn't want to see her breakfast ruined. Not after she had made it so laboriously.

"I plead my innocence." He objected after they parted and she teased his face with the strands of her curls as if she wanted to torture him and get her desired confession. "I just smelled something divine and unless I slept until afternoon, it must be breakfast."

She nudged his nose with hers and stood up, pushing the tray towards him. His mouth opened in awe, uttering a silent 'wow' as he struggled to sit up and lean his back against the headboard. It was a display of the most beautiful breakfast he had ever seen, something that should be photographed and printed in magazines about cooking or life style.

Two cups of coffee with milk and sugar and two cups with a tea stood in the corners of the tray with the steam rising in the air and caressing the rest of the meal. There were four plates in total, all of them full of miniature versions of typical breakfast meals in delicious variations in the amount enough for two hungry people who wanted to enjoy their breakfast and nibble on it with pleasure.

First plate was supplied with toasts, French toasts, English muffins and waffles cut into smaller pieces. Second plate included cheeses like cheddar, Camembert, mozzarella and Roquefort in cubes. Creations from eggs like poached eggs, mini-omelettes, baked eggs and scrambled eggs dominated the third plate, mixing its fragrance with the one from the last plate consisting of meat products like fried bacon strips, breakfast sausage and two types of ham.

In addition, the gaps between the plates were filled in with glasses of three beverages – orange juice, apple juice and water. She had decorated the tray with adorable doilies she had bought in Prague and petals from flowers she had gotten from Senior during the yesterday's dinner. A skilful breakfast preparation at its finest he would say if his mouth wasn't watering at the sight like a dog that saw a treat.

"I can't come up with any other explanation than that you couldn't sleep." He commented eventually and drew her closer to him when she nestled back behind the covers with him. "Don't get me wrong, this is marvellous but I don't want you to be sleep-deprived."

Her heart skipped a beat at the cuteness of his worries. "I could sleep, trust me." She assured him and tickled his neck with her nose as she tried to reach his ear and sweetly nip his earlobe. "I just wanted to make something nice for you. It's called love."

He turned his head slightly to assess her state of good night sleep and had to admit that she looked fresh, lively even. Her smile was second to none, brightening up his secluded bedroom without windows way better than the natural light. Her eyes shone with undying devotion and her facial features were relaxed due to the state of happiness she'd been in thanks to him.

Kissing her quickly, yet profoundly on her lips, he then proceeded to plunge into the breakfast with a hunger of a wolf. She joined him soon enough after she had showed him that yes, cutlery was part of her breakfast surprise and they fell into comfortable silence while eating, savouring the delicious taste, now and then feeding each other and exchanging kisses.

When Tony made a short pause to blow on his cup of coffee to cool it down a little bit because he liked it on certain temperature, she looked at him meaningfully. "So, what we are going to do today?" She asked him while she popped a piece of mozzarella into her mouth.

"Just laze about?" He tossed hopefully with a shrug of his shoulders.

In all honesty, his pre-Christmas state of mind had made no plans for New Year's Eve. If Zoe had scheduled something, he wasn't aware of it and now, it was too late to hunt for a place to party and celebrate the coming of the New Year with his new girlfriend. Most of these events had been sold out months before the event itself. And although he had some high-ranking contacts that would arrange some tickets, he would honestly prefer staying at home with his love and just _be_ with her and enjoy those moments of peace.

"Not a bad idea." She agreed with a mischievous smile. "But we could make it special in a way."

He looked at her with an admonishing look because he could swear that she used her words purposefully to make him think about other things. He wasn't the only one using innuendos and subtle references to erotic plays all the time. Or it was just his mind thinking always about sex and specifically sex with her and then she was innocent and he was just a... very bad boy.

"What exactly do you have in mind?" He asked her carefully, finally sipping on his coffee with an appreciative hum over its deliciousness.

She reached for orange juice and took a mouthful gulp. "Well, it's New Year's Eve, the last day of the year." She remarked with a knowing tone that told him that she was heading in particular direction with this. "And what people do by the end of the year?"

He folded his arms, pursed his lips and furrowed his eyebrows in pretended contemplation. "Party hard, get drunk, launch fireworks..." He listed all the stuff people usually did to celebrate the end of the current year.

"Yes, and they also make certain promises." She interrupted him to get to her point.

He looked at her with amusement as he'd never guessed her as the type of person who would do this but fine. "New Year's resolutions." He stated and wondered if she wanted to talk him into some kind of promises of what they would do next year.

"Exactly. And since it is the last day of the year, it is the last chance to accomplish them." She pointed out although her mysterious smile made him think that she wasn't exactly hinting on crossing the things from the list of New Year's resolutions.

Nevertheless, he thought it over for a moment and then shrugged his shoulders casually. "Well, I didn't make any for this year so... I don't have much to accomplish." He replied, his confidence faltering when he saw her smile widening as if she was leading him towards to what she wanted.

"Then you can live up to your old promises, DiNozzo." She purred into his ear, her hot breath fanning his skin and he had to concentrate a lot to keep being aware that he held a cup of hot coffee in his hands and it would be very painful to drop it.

He cleared his throat and stretched out his hand to put the cup of coffee back on the breakfast tray. "Live up to my old promises, hm?" He stated as he leaned back, wrapping his arms around her waist and she didn't hesitate to press her body against his. "Truth is that I do have a quite a backlog when it comes to you."

She giggled when he showered her face with kisses, tickling her sides tortuously and hungrily returned him the kiss when he started to suck on her lips. Wave after wave of excitement flooded them intensively and for a while nothing else existed but those two passionately kissing each other and proclaiming their love for one another. It was a feeling of absolute and peaceful bliss.

That was why she whimpered once they parted, although it was her who gently pushed him away because she didn't have enough oxygen in her lungs. "As much as nice it sounds..." She told him and purred when she saw his tongue darting out of his lips to lick them. "That is not what I had in mind in particular."

The plan, of course, was to give in to the carnal desires and have her way with him but that still could wait. She wanted to spend some casual, normal time with him as it seemed as something that wouldn't happen much often. That was why she had started the conversation the way she had and lead him towards her intended goal. All she wanted was just to make use of the whole day she had with him.

He raised his eyebrow at her in question because the direction she had chosen was pretty much clear to him and he had zero objections. "I mean, I want you to live up to _these_ kinds of old promises, of course." She admitted and indicated between them with her finger. "But we need more than just one day and night for that."

Internally, he agreed with her. Sure, they could start with fulfilling their fantasies bit by bit but since he knew that it would lead only to hunger for more, they needed to know that it would come to fruition in the near future. He definitely meant to carry out some of his backlog tonight, though. She was going to be his and he vowed to make her feel like a goddess she was.

"Why don't you finally tell me what is your point, then?" He asked her and gave her a loving peck on her adorably scrunched nose.

She cleared her throat and fleeting spark of insecurity appeared in her eyes. "Do you remember the heavenly delicious lasagne you occasionally bring to work with you for lunch?" She timidly reminded him the time they used to be co-workers.

"Yes. What about it?" He said with a smile, finally having a notion where she was heading with this.

"Well, you promised to teach me how to cook it one day." She replied in a whiny tone, complaining that he had never lived up to this promise despite her numerous reminders. If the lasagne hadn't been _that_ good, she would have probably let it be but she was genuinely sad that he seemed to entirely forget about it.

He stared at her with opened mouth for a little while and then something clicked in his head. "Wait... Didn't you try to cook it the other night and eventually ended up buying the pizza because you 'overestimated your cooking skills'?" He teased her, using the air quotes to emphasize her words. After that night, he found in the trash bin something that reminded him of slushy, overcooked lasagne but he hadn't commented on it.

His light laughter turned into a grunt of pain as she poked him between his ribs with her finger to punish him for his mockery. "It is your fault, you know. You should have taught me how to cook it a long time ago." She chastised him, evilly widening her smile when she found his ticklish spot and appropriately made use of that finding.

"Okay, okay, I give up!" He managed to let out between the hysterical fits of laughter as he tried to swat her hands away so she would stop tickling him. "I will teach you how to make the lasagne!"

She stopped with her torture and smiled at him triumphantly, ceasing his attempts for the payback in an instant as she straddled his hips with an agility of a cheetah. Securing his hands above his head she bent down to kiss him profoundly and make his mind all fuzzy and misty so he would forget about any kind of sweet revenge in the future. He happily obliged because kissing her while the weight of her body pressed him down to the mattress was a feeling he wouldn't exchange for anything in this world.

After the realization that they didn't have all the necessary ingredients, they decided to go shopping before all the shops closed because of the New Year's celebrations. However, they finished their breakfast first and washed the dishes because Tony insisted that the kitchen should be clean and tidy before they would start cooking. Ziva guessed that he said it only because he didn't want to deal with even greater pile of dirty dishes later but had no objections.

Weather outside was nice, pleasant even. The piercing claws of chilling cold were long gone and so they could enjoy the warm, beautiful sun rays outside with spring-like temperatures. They weren't in a hurry, so strolling slowly through the streets hand in hand was a great way to spend their time together. On some streets, they hadn't met a single soul and other streets were full of people either already in celebration spirit or they were just getting ready.

They weaved their way through the streets, stopping in the individual shops to gather the needed ingredients like a box of lasagne pasta sheets, a wedge of parmesan cheese, ground beef and Italian sausage, cans of peeled tomatoes and tomato paste, some Italian red wine (good old Merlot, as Tony said), fresh basil and parsley and some other items, storing it all in two backpacks they took with them.

Their lunch was a fast food – two pieces of pizza as Tony wanted Ziva to have her taste buds stimulated on maximum with hunger so she would crave the lasagne and give her the motivation to excel during the cooking. Their breakfast had been hearty enough, after all, so they weren't starving. He'd also gotten idea to spice the cooking up and decided to bake Greek Focaccia according to the recipe he'd received from Linda back when she'd still been dating Senior.

Ziva informed Tony about the development in Israel when it came to her property as she had received recent news from Orli. Her things were already on the plane to the United States and once cleared through the customs, she could pick the boxes up possibly next week. As for the yacht, they would have to sit down and contact some yacht clubs in the area so they would have some place to station _Talia_ in.

Tony didn't hung back and immediately texted Senior if he could help them out as he had some contacts on the yacht clubs, apologizing also for his lack of communication during the yesterday's dinner concurrently. Senior assured him in a while that he would do everything that was in his powers for them and expressed his hope that Tony was already feeling better.

The sun was slowly but certainly saying goodbye to the year 2015, spreading its mighty rays across the sky. They decided to head home finally and start cooking. The four hours long walk was enough of an exercise, although half of the time was spent by running through the aisles of the shops to find the needed ingredients because they just couldn't refrain from acting silly and make fun of each other.

Once they arrived and changed into something more comfortable, they set all the ingredients out on the kitchen isle together with the cookware and kitchen utensils. Tony opened the door from his pantry and pulled out a black apron with white inscription that said 'The Grillfather' written in the same font 'The Godfather' franchise was famous for. Even the cross holding marionette strings was there, only in the form of spatula and grilling fork.

She rolled her eyes critically and the cheesy design and let him know what she thought about his current attire as he was tying it up around his body. "Oh, don't worry. I have one for you, as well." He assured her with a teasing wink and she vigorously denied the desire to wear any apron like that one with a vehement shake of her head.

He didn't relinquish his idea, though, and reached into his backpack and pulled out a wrapped khaki apron, giving it to her in her hands. She looked at the inscription and burst out laughing when she saw it. "It's not a party until my Italian Meatballs come out?" She read it aloud, looking at the two meatballs standing next to each other like two good friends.

He took it from her hands, unwrapped it and held it in front of her so he could tie the apron around her waist. "Sorry, I just couldn't resist." He snickered and she could just resignedly shrug her shoulders. His goofiness and sense of humour were among those things she loved him for, after all. And especially since they'd been together, he'd become more at ease with her.

"And you're ready to start cooking!" He announced when he was done, cheekily spanking her across her backside, making her yelp in surprise but giggling in return.

"So, how do we start, Chef?" She asked him when she turned around to face him, rubbing her hands in excitement. She really wanted to know how to make this certain recipe of lasagne.

He smiled at her and began with a lesson on the meal itself. First of all, he stressed that they weren't about to make traditional Neapolitan lasagne but Lasagne alla Bolognese, thus they had to use Béchamel sauce instead of ricotta and mozzarella cheeses. That was why they would advance in individual phases – make the ragú, then the Béchamel sauce, tenderize the lasagne pasta sheets in the meantime and assemble the whole meal into the glass baking dish.*1

Since ragú took most of the time to cook, he instructed her how to proceed to make it. He handed her his favourite knife with which she masterfully and finely diced the onion, carrot and celeriac while he took one of the largest pans and put it on the heat with a little bit of olive oil. When the oil was heated enough, she swept all the vegetables inside and mixed it with the oil immediately with a help of a wooden spoon.

She fried it up lightly so the vegetable would be soft and golden, already loving the smell coming out from the pan. There was something about the fragrance of a frying onion she simply loved. After that, she added the two kinds of meats and literally exercised her biceps as she was separating the meat from its original form into small pieces so there wouldn't be any giant chunks and the meat mixture could spread evenly. When she was at it, she also mixed the meat with the previous ingredients.

Tony could see that she had a lot of practice in this so hadn't become involved and simply observed her in his kitchen with a content smile on his face. He wasn't one of those men who thought that women belonged in the kitchen only and were here to serve the men. But he couldn't deny that the sight in front of his eyes was pleasing. She somehow fitted in the picture he had in his head when it came to his household and his life.

Once the meat was brown and she couldn't see any red parts anywhere, she mashed two large cloves of garlic through in the garlic press and mixed the fragrant vegetable with the meat and rest of the ragú base. He then opened the bottle of wine they had purchased and basted the meat mixture with a rich amount of the red liquid while she kept stirring and stirring.

Now it was the time to let the juices and wine do its job and soak up into the meat to give it the right flavour. In the meantime, they started to work on the other parts of the recipe. Tony pulled out a large pot from one of the kitchen counters, filled it with water and put it on the stove next to the pan with piping hot ragú and let the water inside heat up so it would boil.

Ziva pulled out a rectangle container and filled it with cold water, putting it next to the stove so she could cool down the lasagne pasta sheets once they softened. He then handed her a glass of wine he had opened and they clinked their glasses to celebrate their New Year's Eve cooking session because so far, they had worked very good as a team, not getting into each other's way and helping out in the right moments.

One of the mother sauces*2 was ahead of them to deal with, though, but they had no doubts they would make it since they had been progressing quite smoothly. Ziva assumed the responsibility for the roux and Tony for the milk base. So while she melted butter in a saucepan over the medium heat and started to mix it with flour, incessantly stirring it so it wouldn't go brown, he warmed up a saucepan of milk with bay leaves, avoiding the boiling point.

Taking out the bay leaves, they then worked together as he gradually poured the milk inside her saucepan with roux and she stirred the mixture with a whisk to get rid of any possible lumps. After that was ensured, she let the forming Béchamel sauce in his hands as he reduced the flame and kept stirring it occasionally so it wouldn't stick to the bottom and sides of the saucepan.

She checked the ragú and was satisfied with the progress since the wine and juices almost boiled away completely. Using the short while she had, she put away some of the ingredients that weren't necessary anymore, stacked some of the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, checked the water in the large pot and adjusted the flame and didn't omit to exchange a couple of passionate kisses with her partner in crime mixed with the delicious taste of wine.

Then she finally added the peeled tomatoes and tomato paste into the pan with ragú and thoroughly mixed the other ingredients to coat the meat in the tomato mixture. Giving the concoction the time to settle down with the new addition, she set to chop finely the fresh basil and parsley, sweeping it inside the pan once it was done and stirring the mixture for umpteenth time.

Tony moved on grating the parmesan cheese into a bowl, not forgetting about the Béchamel sauce and seasoning it with salt, pepper and pinch of a nutmeg. The white sauce was getting all glossy and it drew deliciously when he stirred the whisk in it. Ziva completed the ragú with some salt and pepper, too, granting him a right to have a taste and receiving a compliment in return.

When she could finally abandon completely the ragú, swatting his hands away as he wanted to abuse her different occupation and eat some more of it, she took out twelve sheets of lasagne pasta and started to put them inside the large pot with boiling water. According to his advice, she always put inside three sheets and after they softened – which she could check by propping the lasagne against a wooden spoon to see if the nicely bend – she transferred them into the prepared container with the cold water.

The box said that such a procedure wasn't needed but Tony insisted anyway, citing that it was better to ensure the softness of the pasta than to cry over hardened lasagne. And she agreed with him, especially after the experience she had had a couple of nights ago. So far, the recipe didn't differ that much from the one she had used but this pasta softening was one of those things she had omitted to do.

Finally, everything was set for assembling the lasagne into the glass baking dish. Ziva took it and greased it with butter as Tony brought all the dishes containing the mixtures closer to them and preheated the oven. He warned her about dividing the ragú evenly into the three layers they were about to make despite the annoyed roll of her eyes he had gotten from her and instructed her to start with a layer of Béchamel sauce on the bottom of the baking dish, then add lasagne pasta sheets and spread the ragú over them.

She did as he commanded and poured another layer of the Béchamel sauce over the ragú. After she smoothed it out with a scraper, he sprinkled the grated parmesan cheese over it plentifully because as a cheese lover, he simply added cheese everywhere, no matter the recipe. When she reached the last layer of lasagne sheets, she used up all the remnants of the white sauce and rest of the grated cheese.

Then she cut a sheet of aluminium foil and covered the top of the glass baking dish with it with a little bit of space so the cheese wouldn't stick to the foil. He opened the oven for her and pulled out a rack with a help of an oven mitt, she put the glass baking dish on it and with their two hands joined, they slipped it back inside and closed the oven door behind it. Now, it was up to the oven to do its job.

"I must admit that cooking with you is actually quite a fun." Tony assessed their cooperation as he scooped up the last remnants of the ragú on his finger.

She put down the glass of wine she held in her hands and embraced his waist from behind. "Then why did you never live up to your promise and refused to invite me over for a cooking session?" She inquired as she spread her palms on his chest possessively.

She still couldn't grasp it and was curious about his answers. Whenever they'd had a movie night, it'd been always about take-out or the food had been already prepared. She had even suspected many times that he'd cooked the meals all by himself beforehand and then had just brought it with him to her apartment. Although she had kept reminding him about his promises, he'd always swept it under the carpet for mysterious reasons.

"Do you really want to know?" He asked her as he turned around in her embrace, lifting her hands to kiss her fingers. She nodded in response, her curiosity widening her eyes in anticipation of the answer. "Well, when you're trying to run away from the feelings you have towards a certain person, you just don't go and invite them to do something that means more than friendly activity to you."

Of course he had heard her reminders and complaints about his forgetfulness. But the truth was that he had never forgotten about his promise because he had cursed the moment had done it. He didn't see any problems with cooking _for_ someone but cooking _with_ someone simply did have a special meaning for him. It wasn't an activity he easily shared with anyone.

"I am not sure if I follow correctly." She admitted with confused expression on her face and leaned her cheek in his hand as he caressed her face lovingly.

He sighed wistfully and momentarily tore his eyes away from her to study some invisible point on the wall as he took a trip down the memory line. "Mum and Dad used to cook together on Sundays." He explained and for a brief moment, he transported himself into his childhood years, seeing their old kitchen in front of his eyes. "Even as young as I were, I could see that they were pretty much in love. The harmony between them, the light jokes and the joy of doing something together..."

He trailed off and forced himself to return to back to the present reality by focusing his eyes on her beautiful face. "When I once asked her about it, she told me to bear in mind that the woman of my heart should easily get on well with me in the kitchen if I ever want a happy marriage like the one she and Dad had." He continued with a smile as he tightly caught her by her waist, making her to press her body closer to his which she didn't mind at all.

"So, it just became a symbol of a higher affection to me, I guess. I swear that I would have taught you how to cook the lasagne a long time ago but..." He took a deep breath to release the pent-up tension in his chest. "Doing it would not only hurt the memory in my mind but I was also afraid of having this conversation because I thought that you returning my feelings wasn't possible."

He hadn't been afraid of realizing that she was _the one_. Deep down, he'd known it all along. But he'd been scared of her reaction, the possibility of having this kind of conversation when they still hadn't been together. Would it drive her away? Or lead her to his arms? He hadn't known and just to think about the negative outcome had made his stomach churn.

This fear had been a dominant feeling over the love he felt for her for many years. There had been times, though, when he'd been just a step from conquering it, especially in her last year in NCIS. But a grief-stricken, vulnerable Ziva hadn't been the woman he wanted to burden with the weight of his feelings, so he had rather decided to wait and let her heal. A huge mistake, true, but one that had eventually paid off because it was her hands that currently massaged his back with short, comforting strokes.

"Have you tried cooking with someone else than me?" She couldn't help but ask. Not that it would make her to be mad at him but it never hurt to know what her female rivals had reached so she could crush their triumphs by surpassing them. He was hers now and sharing him was out of the question.

He lowered his eyes in shame but she lifted his chin back up and smiled at him encouragingly. "Yes, recently." He admitted and sighed at the unpleasant memory of him and Zoe trying to bake a bread together. Hitchcock would have made a good horror movie out of it if he had been still alive. "A grave mistake, let me tell you. Mum was right and I have a living proof right in front of me."

Bending down, he captured her lips in a kiss that wasn't only passionate but fervent and loving, as well. She didn't have any reason to defy against it, quite the contrary. She adored that despite his forgetfulness of certain events in his life, he was able to keep his childhood intact, encapsulated in notional casket inside his head to maintain the good and pleasant memories very vivid and clear.

And she felt honoured that she could be the one with him when he opened the casket and pulled out some memory he desperately wanted to share but was afraid of losing. No reason dictated her to be mad at him because she actually found the explanation he'd given her as adorable and admirable because it was a certain value in his life he held dear to his heart and she liked that in men.

He still held her head in his hands when he released her lips and looked into her enamoured eyes. "Does that make any sense to you?" He asked her as he licked his lips to enjoy more of her flavour. He could imagine how foolish and confusing his thinking had to be.

Standing up on her tiptoes, she engaged him into another kissing session as she used his shoulders for support. "Of course it does, silly." She answered as she let go of his mouth and put her feet back on the solid ground which she needed after the mighty kiss. "I would have never guessed you for such a romantic type but I must say that I do not mind it at all."

His cheeks inflated with immense pride as he stuck out his chest. If she really meant it or if she just wanted to pluck the strings of his ego, he didn't know and he didn't care. "Well, being romantic can have many forms, Miss David." He clarified to her in a boastful tone for which he received a smack on his shoulder. "I just prefer not to be the cliché romantic guy. So, you can always expect some surprises."

She threw her head back in laughter because she honestly had no idea how he wanted to live up on this particular promise as adorable as it sounded. She was punished for her mockery, though, and in the most wonderful way. He grabbed her by her neck gently and drew her head closer, crashing his lips on hers to steal her breath away with his kisses. After she found some stability in breathing again, she literally melted into him and let herself to be carried away by his ardent manifestation of his love.

"A kiss is never a cliché." He said to beat her to saying it because he could see in her eyes what she had in mind to tease him about once he seized the lip-lock.

She smiled and batted her eyelashes on him to prove that she was as innocent as a lamb and never planned to make fun of him. "Let's make the focaccia now?" She suggested conciliatory, breathing in the smell of the lasagne in the oven.

He gave her his blessings with a nod of his head and as she wanted to turn around, he attached his lips to hers once more and turned them as they were kissing. Then he finally released her and went to grab the piece of paper with the recipe on it so he could read the instructions. She had to take a deep breath to calm herself down and fan her face a couple of times before she could join him.

They had to make the dough as the first, of course – focaccia was a type of bread, after all, and there was no bread without good old dough. Combining flour, yeast and salt together in a larger bowl while Ziva heated water and oil to a warmer degree was certainly a way how to make one. Tony then gradually added the dry mixture into the liquid one and she stirred it thoroughly to mix the ingredients evenly.

After adding basil and oregano, they could start working up the soft, smooth and elastic dough. He stood behind her back and leaded her hands to knead it into the desired shape, enjoying the closeness of their bodies immensely. And she did, as well, although in other times she would tell him to back off and accuse him of having naughty thoughts he could right away forget about of fulfilling.

But then was then and now was now. And the feeling of their joined hands, sinking into the dough mixture and burying the fingers inside to knead it while his hot breath tickled her neck, was second to none. He certainly didn't refrain from planting kisses across her nape, either, nibbling her earlobe and whispering the instructions into her ear sensually that she sometimes had to smack his arms to reproach him for causing her attention wander someplace else.

He released her from his pleasantly torturing embrace when they had to let the dough sit in the covered bowl for a couple of minutes. Throwing a bulb of red onion to her, she took the knife and did a very quick job with the vegetable as she cut it into thin strips, sweeping them into the pan with heated oil he had prepared in the meantime to sauté the onion.

She also cut the black olives and mushrooms while he took care of crumbling the feta cheese into small lumps. When the dough rested enough, he divided it into eight equal portions and formed smooth balls. Although focaccia usually came in one piece and was cut after baking, he went with individual small breads. Thus the balls were soon formed into round-like shape and placed on the baking sheet with parchment paper.

She then used the fork to make little holes in the dough so the steam wouldn't create pockets in the finished bread and smeared the rounds with olive oil. In perfect synchronization, they topped each round evenly with sautéed onions, sliced olives and mushrooms and sprinkled it with crumbled feta cheese. Then it was time to let the dough sit for some more time so it would have the time to rise.

Since they had some time before the lasagne would be done, they started to clean up the kitchen – Tony took care of washing the dishes because he didn't want her soft skin to get irritated by the detergent and Ziva grasped the towel to dry out the dishes. They could hear the first fireworks going off that night as some people were either impatient to start the show or they had some another place to be later that night but still wanted to launch some fireworks to celebrate the new year.

They looked out of the window here and there to enjoy the gorgeous display of the colours in the sky as they worked through the dishes. For the last fifteen minutes or so of baking the lasagne, they removed the aluminium foil from the glass baking dish so the cheese could start turning golden and create the scrumptious crust on the top. And then it was finally the time to take it out.

"Don't go anywhere near it with that knife." He warned her seriously when she lifted the blade and was about to bury the knife into the wonderfully smelling meal which he put on the wooden board on the counter.

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion because he literally stood in front of her to shield the baking dish with his body. "Why not? I just want to cut it, that is all." She protested and waved the knife in the air to emphasize her original intention.

"If you cut it right now, it will fall apart." He informed her calmly but refused to move, still protectively standing between her and the kitchen counter behind him. "To hold the shape it should have, you must let it rest for at least fifteen minutes."

She did a double take and grimaced contemplatively. "I see. I think I know where I did the mistake the last time." She said slowly and put the knife on the counter to assure him that she had no intention to cut the lasagne for now.

"You cut it immediately and tried to put it on the plate?" He asked her and moved the knife farther away from her reach.

Rolling her eyes at his actions, she reached for her glass of wine and sipped on the delicious liquid. "Yes, and it became all slushy, so I returned it back to the oven because I thought it was not done yet." She admitted and he went to embrace her in a soothing gesture to let her know that she had nothing to be ashamed of. "But I overcooked it, instead."

He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back to calm her down because her voice got a little bit whiny by the end of her sentence. She hid her face in the crook of his neck where she felt protected from all the evils in this world, including meals from Italian cuisine that apparently didn't want to do what she wanted from them. They stood like that for longer than it was necessary but letting go of each other seemed to be wrong.

Afterwards, they prepared the plates and wine glasses in the living room as they planned to sit down with the dinner and watch both Home Alone movies so Tony wouldn't violate his Christmas movies tradition. They had to move some of the furniture but Tony was getting used to living in pair quite well, so he didn't fuss over it. In the meantime, the dough rose enough so they put the rounds into the oven and let them bake for the stated time.

Handing her the knife, he let her ceremonially cut the first piece of lasagne as he instructed her to slide the knife under the whole meal first and separate it from the edges of the glass baking dish and then cut a piece from the top. Using the cake shovel, she picked up the portion and carefully transferred it on one of the plates, delighted when it held its shape as it should.

He rewarded her with a kiss for her endeavours and praised her cooking skills and she thanked him for his instructions and his patience with her. Second portion was an easy task but she still was careful because she wanted both of them to look like a copybook example. Then they finally sat down in the living room, wished each other 'bon appétit', clinked their glasses and get down to the eating while watch the movie.

To say that the taste was absolutely divine would be an understatement. They both had the feeling that they were eating the best lasagne in the world and in the whole history of making this particular meal. There certainly was something on the claim that cooking with love made the food especially delicious and tasteful as if the effort, thoroughness and affection projected into the food and improved the flavour.

It was no wonder they licked their plates after they were finished so not a single drop of the ragú remained on the dish. Tony took the plates back in the kitchen and opened another bottle of wine, checking on the focaccia and pulling out the baking sheet when he assured that the bread was done. He immediately transferred the small focaccia breads on a serving plate and brought it with him together with the bottle of wine to the living room.

And that was how they spent rest of the evening – laughing and making funny remarks on the events in the movies, nibbling on the amazing Greek focaccias and drinking wine. Tony couldn't even remember when his apartment had been filled with such an ease and contentment and if it had ever been. Her presence seemed to improve everything, from the atmosphere to the lighting and cosiness.

He especially loved the way they physically matched together because tonight, there was something special on it, although he couldn't quite put a finger on what. They had been cuddling and caressing each other in this apartment for numerous times but now the little details in the displays of affection were more perceptible, more sensual and erotically charged.

She seemed to him more longing for some skin on skin action as she took care of the gaps between their bodies and guaranteed that there was none. Aside putting her hands on the most inappropriate places on his body, she always made sure that she looked sultry, yet innocently as if she had no idea what she was doing and her behaviour was unwitting.

And he wasn't falling behind her, touching the areas of her body in a way he knew she considered as arousing while he kept burying his nose into her hair and teasing her scalp, sending goose bumps across her skin. Sweet nothings he occasionally whispered into her ears fell into the category of romantic erotica and he immensely enjoyed the blush in her cheeks as she smiled slyly at his comments.

That was why he didn't hesitate to seize the opportunity when the second movie came to an end with the closing credits rolling on the screen and she left for toilet. He turned off the TV, the lights and lighted some candles and brought them with him to the bedroom to create romantic atmosphere inside. There was still some time until midnight although he didn't know how much and frankly he didn't care.

He could hear that she was already washing her hands so he ran over to the bathroom and assumed relaxed, yet a little bit intimidating position at the door. His left hand was propped up against the doorframe as he stood sideways from the door, waiting for her to come out. His gaze was turned to the floor and he lifted his eyes right at the moment she opened the door and exited the bathroom.

Their eyes met in an instant and she halted her step when she saw him standing there, his muscular frame blocking her way further to the bedroom. At first, she felt surprised by his presence but his burning eyes didn't leave her confused about his motives and she smiled up at him widely in response. After the day they had just spent together, she didn't have any kind of different ending in her mind.

She registered that he turned off everything in the living room and moved a couple of candles in the bedroom because she couldn't hear anything else but a couple of drunken people outside yelling 'Happy New Year' although it still wasn't midnight. The dim light in the bedroom created a strange shade on his face, one she couldn't help but have her eyes focused on, her breath labouring in anticipation.

His eyes were boring into her, following her closely and when the door from the bathroom clicked behind her, he took the sound as some sort of a cue. Raising his hand, he touched her delicate face with his fingers gently before letting her jaw to slide against his palm. She closed her eyelids and just let the sensational rubs of his hand to excite her, even though she really didn't need much to get excited.

She sensed him inching his face towards hers and obediently parted her lips, knowing that his kiss wouldn't be tentative or savouring. His thirst for her was far too great to keep any restraints. And she didn't desired anything else but what he meant to offer her – the mind-boggling, ravenous kiss as they teeth collided and their tongues started to dance together in the tango of the their lips.

When he did so, she melted into him as her knees buckled and wave of passion washed over her. Putting her hands on his chest in a powerless gesture to keep herself standing, she found herself pinned to do door by his towering frame as he trapped her between his two arms that gripped the edges of the doorframe from the side and by his body and the wooden plank called bathroom door from front and behind.

For a moment they lived only for the fiery kiss, savouring every single move of their lips and the shot of electricity running from the base of their spine up to their heads, making them extremely dizzy. Breathing was unimportant and existence itself was insignificant as their lip-lock seemed to strip everything relevant off of its life-preserving meaning. Their sexual tension alone could give life and nourish the whole continent, if not the whole world.

Panting, he grabbed her by her chin and donated a couple of more sloppy kisses to her mouth before releasing her lips to take a deep breath his lungs were screaming for, tightening his chest. She wasn't in any different state, gasping for air desperately as she leaned her head against the door behind her, grateful for such a solid support because she didn't trust her legs at all.

The more surprised she was when he took her tightly by her hand and yanked her towards him. Instead of his welcoming, manly and warm embrace, she staggered into a standing position, shooting him a confused look. He couldn't kiss her like that and expect that her body would remain its resilient itself instead of turning into a wobbly jelly. That wasn't how her body worked and he should already know that by that time.

It took her a second to realize that he certainly planned to be her firm rock as always, only not the usual way. Still holding her hand, he walked around her and embraced her from behind, his self-assured and strong hands gripping her waist. She couldn't do anything else but to lean her back against his chest with a content sigh as he joined their hands and firmly tightened his embrace around her belly.

Infatuated by her gorgeous, glossy hair, he buried his nose into her curls, teasing the skin of her head to create sensational vibrations on her scalp. And she loved the thrill he was giving her more than anything, obediently following his lead as he inched her, step by step, towards their bed with more than clear intent in his mind. Her step was tremulous but since she shared his thoughts and desires with him, she didn't have any objections against the direction.

When he halted, she knew they were right in front of the inviting piece of furniture and she felt like she needed to share her thoughts with him on a certain matter. She had no intention to boost his ego but she simply wanted to be honest with him and let him know about her life _before_ him and her life _with_ him. Because those two kinds were so ridiculously different, it wasn't even funny anymore.

"Can I tell you something?" She asked him while he ran his nose and his lips down her pulse point on her exposed neck as she pushed her hair aside to give him space to do so.

He slowly licked the place on her neck where the carotid artery supposedly supplied the blood into her pretty head. "You can tell me _everything_." He whispered into her ear hoarsely, making her tremble in his arms because she loved this specific tonality of his voice, just as he loved her thick, emotional tone.

She had the urge to force him to a promise that he wouldn't laugh at her but then she realized the stupidity of her own request. People in love used to say such things all the time and she _was in love_ with a man, so there wasn't any need to feel embarrassed or uneasy because of what she wanted to say. If he loved her at least the same way she loved him, his reaction should be of the one in love and not the one who liked the mock people for their feelings.

She turned around in his embrace to face him, lifting her eyes towards him and saw nothing but genuine curiosity mixed with divine adoration. "There were many times I used to dream and imagine what it was like to..." She began with a shudder as his arms clasped around her, pressing her body closer to him, making her feel the proof of his desire in his sweats he wore to the bed in winters.

Pausing to gather her thoughts because his actions made her momentarily thinking about only one thing and that wasn't what she wanted to stress. "...not only sleep with you but also _be with you_ in general." She picked up the threads of her previous sentence, smiling up at him shyly.

"Likewise." He uttered in the most fascinated tone she'd ever heard from him and it made her heart beat thousand times faster than she thought was possible. Although she knew that he'd had such fantasies, as well, hearing the confirmation made it more real.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she brought his head closer to hers and leaned their foreheads against each other. "I have to admit that it is not at all like I imagined it." She confessed truthfully, watching the flicker of confusion and uncertainty creeping into his eyes.

To assure him that her words meant to be pleasing and not hurtful, she slipped one of her hands down to palm his face. "Because imagination, fantasies and all the abstract nonsense can never really supersede, measure up or reach the amazing level of the reality. It is so much better and it feels so... _good._ " She told him and watched his face lighting up with a smile that gracefully balanced his handsome features.

"You could have just told me that you love me." He assured her, moved by her words beyond description nevertheless. He started to slowly rock her in his arms and she let herself to be swayed in some mystical rhythm. "But I can't but agree with you. Fantasies can't ever compare to the reality. And it feels really, really, really, really and so much good."

He pressed his lips on hers in a sweet kiss, overwhelmed by her words, his current life and his feelings for her. It meant so much to him because he couldn't constantly stop questioning whether he'd been living a fairy tale or if this was a reality. And she kept relentlessly convincing him that his mind wasn't playing tricks with him and what he was going through was indeed a reality.

And as if she sensed his sudden defencelessness, she dropped her submissiveness from earlier and became the one in charge. She spun them around to reverse their positions, backing him towards the bed determinedly while she kept kissing him sloppily as she tried to maintain their kissing pace whilst walking. He didn't object whatsoever, finding it hot that she could be very demanding sometimes.

Her hands landed on a strategic place on his chest and she gave it a gentle push once his calves hit the bed. The push would hardly make anyone to move, alone to fall but he was good at reading certain type of hints and so he yielded to the non-violent action and let his butt fall on the mattress he could sense below him. It robbed him of her warm, succulent lips but he was sure that she didn't plan on stop kissing him anytime soon.

Approaching him seductively, he opened his legs so she could step in between them and he could embrace her unabashedly around her ass cheeks. She let him to savour the moment of intimacy as he buried his head into her belly, sending the butterflies inside flying all over with his short, hot breaths directed on her belly button. The weird combination of comfort and sensuality of the position made it special.

Then she reached her hands on his back and stuck them beneath his T-shirt in attempt to strip him off. He straightened to help her out and raised his arms so she could pull it over his head, leaving him bare chest. She let the T-shirt fall so she could run her fingers across his muscular arms and up to his hair, ruffling it to stress the boyish features on his face.

Momentarily abandoning him to sit on the bed and only wistfully recall the warmth of her body, she snatched one of the pillows on the bed and threw it on the floor right in front of him. His eyes watched her curiously, widening in anticipation at the implications but he didn't dare to jump to conclusions. He just wanted to go with the flow as he submitted himself at her mercy. There was hardly any other sexiest thought than let Ziva David do whatever she pleased.

Unsurprisingly, she went down on her knees while locking her eyes on him, her look giving away clearly what her intentions were. For a moment he considered stopping her but the notion itself was quite exciting and he found himself unable to do anything but wait and tremble in anticipation. She most certainly knew the secret ways of making a man hornier than usual by implanting fantasies into his mind.

Lifting his right foot and then the left one, she helped him to get rid of the socks, lightly massaging the arch of his feet to make him relax because his anticipation was making him stiffened and she didn't exactly aimed for his whole body to go rigid, no. She wanted to harden certain part of his body and by the looks of it, she didn't need much to succeed in this endeavour.

She gave a wiggle to the pants' legs of the sweats to sign that she was about to take it off and he lifted his backside up for a second to give her a helping hand. It was very much appreciated because she could strip him off like that in no time. Throwing the sweats away, she stood up on her knees and leaned her elbows against his thighs, leaning in for a sweet kiss.

A very useful distraction it was, he admitted that afterwards. Preoccupied with rubbing his lips against hers, he barely registered that she inched her hands towards his boxers, hooking her fingers into the fabric. His reactions felt natural and innate as she lightly patted his backside and he heaved his body just a little bit so she could quickly pull the boxers off down his thighs, freeing his hardened member from its prison.

He buried his hands into her hair, grasping her scalp tightly in response to her delicate touch as she squeezed his erected length with pleasure. It was the best effort he could work up to keep himself together and not to vocally express his delight. After all, his body was betraying him more than enough because his muscles trembled in anticipation of the release way in advance.

Releasing his lips, she looked deeply into his eyes, literally drinking in his orbs and holding his gaze for a couple of eternal seconds. She kept stroking him gently, smiling subtly when he bit back the purr his vocal chords couldn't hold anymore. The fingers of her other hand lightly touched his face as if she wanted to assure him that he could trust her because in spite of her evil plan to bring him on the brink of sanity, the journey was divine to say the least.

When the realization that she was silently asking him for permission hit, he pulled himself together and approved her next actions with a slight nod. That was one of the thing he loved about making love to her – the assurances that didn't stem from uncertainty but just utter respect and consideration. And he knew that if he refused her advances, she wouldn't be mad at him but as a resourceful woman she was, she would just another way how to please him.

His fingers disentangled themselves from her gorgeous hair and she smiled up at him, running her fingers from his hair down his torso across the muscular arms and loveable abdomen that wasn't worked out anymore as in his younger years but she didn't mind it at all. She could still feel the traces of his earlier athletic body and that was enough for her. Ultimately, she found older man more suitable to her needs than those beefy types with hard muscles.

He clenched his hands into fists to prevent himself from turning into a quivering puddle as he closed his eyes, desperately trying not to feel her hands massaging his groin softly but enjoy it in the same time. She had a very special way of making him relax, though, and so soon her strong, yet delicate touches while she _accidentally_ brushed his balls a couple of times, made him feel as if he was in some blissful spa.

Kneeling lower, she adjusted her position to gain a better access to the object of her desire, carefully and slowly placing her fingers strategically on his throbbing shaft. She looked up at him, overly curious about his reaction because the last time she'd had the pleasure to watch his face full of satisfaction seemed to be a long time ago. He was biting his lower lip, staring in front himself, eyes wide open.

She bent down and touched the tip of his penis with her tongue gingerly. A moan escaped his lips, filling her with courage and so she licked his whole length in one move to give him the notion of how rough her tongue was and what she could do to him with it. His response was a gasp, the knuckles of his hands turning white as he desperately tried to stay motionless.

Her mouth was about to test his resolve in the most cruel way, though. When her sultry persona made up her mind what to do next, he thought he would lose it, grab her head and force her to fuck him with the help of her mouth mercilessly. The thing was that the minx started to kiss the tip of his shaft with open-mouthed kisses, rubbing her scrumptious lips over the sensitive skin.

The anticipation of his unwitting urge was excellent from her side so she ceased her actions once his hands shot up, preventing them from taking her head by putting her palms into them. Clicking her tongue at him in a disapproving, yet playful manner, he threw her an apologetic look and let her to put his hands back on the bed a little bit further behind his back.

She gave a little push to his abdomen and he obediently leaned back, supporting himself on his hands. Resuming her finger position while her second hand massaged his inner thigh softly, she leaned down and pushed his penis into her throat carefully, piece by piece and as far as she could. Sensing his rigid stiffness, she pressed her tongue and her teeth lightly into the sensitive skin.

Throwing his head back and moaning in pleasure, he didn't dare to say or think that she had no idea what it was doing to him. She damn well knew what kind of response she could expect and her evil smile he could _feel_ since her lips were wrapped around his manhood, only added to the evidence. Her plan was to make him beg for mercy, he had no other explanation for that.

And he wasn't far away from total submission once she slowly pulled out his shaft out of her mouth, her teeth grazing the swollen skin with the help of her skilful tongue. His hips jerked on their own accord and his feet left the solid ground as he stood on his tiptoes while still sitting, grasping the sheets beneath his hands. One simple movement and he was already giddy, his mind dizzy with delight.

Seeing that she was successful in her endeavour, she proceeded to repeat her actions again, again and again, yet the outcome was always different. One time he watched her sucking him with absolutely captivated look that made her all warm inside and she had to struggle for self-control because all she wanted to do at the moment was jump on him and take him immediately.

The other time, he had his eyes closed and literally howled her name loudly, encouraging her to completely destroy him and she was more happy to oblige with that request. She'd gotten all sorts of reactions from him including swearing, gasping for air and begging, all just adding up to her resolve to bring him to heaven and make him satisfied in a way no other woman had before her.

His body was on fire and his mind blackened by her mouth treatment. She was better than excellent, applying the pleasure in the exact right moments to make him go crazy with pleasure. He could feel the warmth spreading through his body, especially in the lower part of his belly that was completely ablaze. His orgasm was just a couple of more sucks away.

Determination of not letting it to happen arose in him suddenly. The night was just beginning and he no longer had the potency of a young man so to finish this off like that was the last thing he wished to do. He waited for her to pull out his pulsating penis out of her mouth, temporarily forgetting what he had in mind to do as she devoted a couple of brief licks to his phallus.

It was just a short moment of weakness, though, so soon he jumped out of the bed, towering over her while she stared up at him absolutely astonished by his sudden change of behaviour. Maybe the fact she was so stunned and little bit disappointed that she couldn't carry on in her task made it so easy for him to scoop her up and throw her on the bed.

He wasn't losing his time, stripping her sweatpants off before she could scramble up to her feet which she did immediately afterwards. Wide-eyed and trembling in anticipation, she kneeled on the bed and stared at him to guess his intentions as he joined her on the bed. Gathering her head into his hands, he pressed his lips on hers in a passionate kiss that held more than thanks for her expert skills in her previous treatment.

She should have known that he hadn't been that powerless as he had acted. The fact he'd managed to control his hands and not to lose it completely, should have been telling enough and she admitted that she'd underestimated him and his strength. And despite the fact she was dying to touch his erection she could feel somewhere between their groped bodies, she understood that it was her turn to be pleased now.

Grasping her T-shirt, he lifted up just to get to her breasts, sucking on her nipples while he kept working on getting her naked. Her moan in response and cooperation wasn't anything surprising, so once the T-shirt was gone, she was the one to peel off her soaked panties, already hot and moist for him. He had no idea what his demonstration of satisfaction was doing to her, forcing her to tremble like a teenage girl.

Her legs opened for him and her hands swept the air near him to bring him closer but he didn't pay attention to her non-verbal request. Instead, he took the pillow on the ground and threw it on the bed, gesturing to her to lie on her stomach with her belly propped up on the pillow. Unusual demand but she had no intention to disobey. Her curiosity was still way stronger than her need for release.

His tactics had nothing to do with some kink he was crazy for, no. Actually, it was sweeter, cuter and deeply romantic, absolutely disproving his claim from earlier that he preferred not to be the cliché romantic guy. So to feel his lips on her calves as he kissed his way up from her ankles to the back of her knees on both legs was surprising, but blissful nevertheless.

Looking over her shoulder, she teased him by bending her knees and raising her legs up in the air to which he responded with a delicate punishment. His finger lightly tickled the area in the back of her knee and she couldn't help but moan in pleasure, having no idea that this part of her body was that sensitive. He apparently knew some good tricks because whatever she willed mentally didn't manifest physically. Her legs were completely in his control.

She resigned when he squeezed the halves of her curved backside, tickling her thighs with his nose as he continued in his kissing journey over her bottom half. It was pleasantly exciting and she realized that he was succumbing every single bone, nerve and muscle in her body to his power. It was a different kind of conquest that she'd been used to but it didn't mean she didn't enjoy it immensely.

Her hands reached desperately for another pillow she could bury her fingers into when his nose lightly grazed her folds as if he was sniffing at her wet heat and she finally understood why he wanted her belly to be propped up. He had better access to the core of her pleasure like that while her position on the stomach made her more powerless because she couldn't fight him off. Not that she wanted to but the option was minimal at the moment.

When he bit her ass, straddling her to get better access to her back, she giggled and then laid her head on the pillow, submitting herself to him. He apparently planned to worship every inch of her skin on the back side of her body and she didn't see any reason why not to allow him to do just that. She actually appreciated that he wanted to please her equally and not just to get his release as she had first anticipated when he had thrown her on the bed.

Grazing her spine with the tip of his nose as he thoroughly massaged her beautifully curved loins, he had to admit internally that his original estimation of her was wrong. And unlike in some other cases, he loved being proved wrong. At first, he'd thought of her as selfish, only interested in her own pleasure or at least that was how the ruthless ninja had appeared to him.

Since their first love-making, though, he'd found out that she was nothing like it. Sex with her was about "to give and be given" and not about "let's get this over with so at least one of us have some fun". She loved being in charge but also recognized his right to be in charge. Being his equalled to let him please her as many times as he desired just to give him the satisfaction that he could make her feel like that and be gratified in the same way.

And this was one of such occasions and he couldn't love her any more for it. Even his erection seemed to understand that his needs weren't just of the physical nature but he wanted to make her feel loved and worshiped, as well, and maybe repay a little bit the mischievous, satisfying treatment. The payback was on and he was about to push himself to the limit of making her feel the ultimate satisfaction.

She sighed in content and shivered when the fingers of his left hand caressed the outline of her breast down her ribcage while his mouth kissed every mere inch of her shoulder blades. His right hand tickled the skin on her backside, reaching further down to tease her eager, hot and moist folds lightly. Her moan signed that she was aware of how skilful his fingers could be and she was dying in anticipation of what was about to come.

While she tightened the grip on the pillow beneath her head, he stuck one finger into her wet and tight pussy, stretching her inner walls expertly. It was hardly enough to make her satisfied, though, so he received a kick that was directed straight on his ass to add another finger or she would stop cooperating and take what she wanted without asking in an instant.

He obliged and stuck another finger into her, loving the way she arched her back, creating a delicious line between her shoulders blades he could kiss up and down as he pleased. His other hand also headed down, making use of the advantageous elevation of her middle section as he used his forefinger and middle finger to rub on her clit, making her moan words of approval.

Her hips jerked upwards involuntarily when he set up a rhythm of circular movements of her clit while pushing in and out his two other things inside her pussy. The feeling of bliss and sexual desire was enhanced twice more when she felt his throbbing erection she had been licking not so long ago on the skin of her lower back. Her hands urged for touching him but whenever she had made that attempt, he applied a pressure on her clit in such a wonderful way that she could only bend her fingers and sink them into the pillow.

Barrage of kisses directed at her nape followed when he removed he hair with his nose from that place while intensifying the movements of his fingers. Her toes curled on the bed and she managed to yank her hips, hitting his manhood in the process with her backside. He didn't know if it was intentional nor not but it most certainly almost sent him over the edge.

An appropriate measure had to be taken if he wanted to last, even at the cost of her frustration. His left hand regretfully left her clit as he started to press her down on the mattress with it on her backside. She gave out a huff of annoyance, muffled by the pillow as she bit on it, but making no move to free herself from that grip he applied on her. It didn't stop her from defying the pressure on her body, though, eventually making slight circular movements with her pelvis.

Too soon she realized that it was literally a living hell, a strenuous activity she had no idea how long she could take. There was nothing so maddening than to let someone to gradually work up the orgasm within her, yet restraining her movements so she couldn't participate, albeit for good reasons. Being for minutes at the boundary between orgasm and on her way there was way too much to handle

Her juices were leaking out of her and between her moans of pleasure and swearwords directed at him, she realized that she needed more of what he could give her. She _needed_ to rub herself on him, she _needed_ his fingers _everywhere_ , not just on that one damn place, no matter how good it felt. However, he was too absorbed in his conquest to kiss every single inch of her back to notice her frustration.

Maybe it was actually to her profit because then he could barely register that she strategically propped up her calves on her knees and her arms on her hands. Then, in the most unguarded moment when he massaged her inner walls, reaching to the farthest corners of her pussy, she gathered all of her remaining strength and reared up like a horse.

The outcome of this action was more blissful than she had anticipated. To say that he was shocked and unprepared was an understatement but he quickly recuperated and followed her lead, standing up on his knees, as well. He secured her kneeling position by grasping her breast with his left hand, curling the fingers of the other one still buried deep within her.

She immediately collapsed in his arms, trembling with pleasure as her shaky hand reached blindly for his head to force him to suck on her neck. He happily obliged to this request, uncurling his fingers and pulling them out, immediately sticking them back but from the front this time, his thumb resuming his previous circles on her clit. She moaned his name in her thick accent, burying her fingers into his hair desperately.

Her knees were too wobbly to hold her so she kept pressing her back on his chest for support as he set up a new rhythm of his fingers inside her heat, alternating in the course of his circles on her clit. Every move now equalled to an adorable moan she always let out of her mouth to appreciate this new position while he flooded her neck with his feathery kisses.

Since she had gained some of the freedom she had so much desired, it didn't take her long to steady herself enough to start rubbing her body against his, literally _riding_ his fingers. From side to side, up and down, she didn't care which way but she knew that reaching her orgasm was a matter of life and death. She'd been too close to get off already since he'd so intently watched her sucking on his shaft.

Speaking of which, that mentioned erection was now imprisoned between their bodies as they both rubbed on it sensually because with her getting so close to orgasm, he could hardly stay motionless. He mirrored the round movements of her hips, panting into her ear as her own moans turned into coherent mumbling of the word 'more'. And he sped up his tempo, holding onto her and experiencing her pleasure as his own.

And then, after a specifically might push of his fingers, circle across her clit and sensual, synchronous rub of their bodies, she finally reached her sexual climax. Fireworks exploded inside her head and she muffled the sound with a guttural scream of satisfaction, scratching his arms with her nails as she desperately tried to hold on to him so she wouldn't break down completely.

But he held her strongly, letting her to ride all those imaginably blissful waves of pleasure running through her as she finally found her balance in gripping his muscular calves, digging her nails into his flesh. He pull out his fingers and spread his palm across her stomach, caressing the sensitive area that was currently on fire while his other hand massaged her breasts.

Her head found a rest on his shoulder as she threw it back while enjoying the last remnants of her satisfaction, moaning with each intake of breath. The haze that had enveloped her was dispersing slowly and she trembled when she felt his delicate kisses on her neck as he kept caressing her quivering body meticulously as if he didn't want her to deprive of a single moment of bliss.

"Happy New Year, my love." He whispered into her ear with a distinct hint of amusement in his tone.

That was when she realized that the fireworks hadn't gone off only in her head but also outside because her orgasm had hit her just in the exact moment when the midnight had struck and people had started to celebrate the coming of a New Year. Laughter started to shake her body and she sighed in content as she patted his head, turning her own slightly to kiss him gratefully for his wonderful performance.

Her strength was growing with each touch of their lips and she soon became aware that his own, on the other hand, was fading away. He'd been putting off his own pleasure to satisfy her and it amazed her to no end because she couldn't think of anything harder and selfless to do. She could sense that he was close because his skin was on fire as he kept caressing her urgently, occasionally repeating the rubs of their bodies with lustful groans.

She slipped out of his embrace and turned around to face him only to be met with a look that was mixture of confusion, disappointment, greed and desire. Raising the back of her fingers towards his face, she leaned in to kiss him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she laid down on the mattress and took him with her. He sighed thankfully into her mouth because his legs were already betraying him and he so much wanted to change his position from kneeling to lying.

Urgently, he grasped her thighs and parted them as far as he could although she was already in the process of doing exactly so. Giggling, she placed her pelvis in an angle that was favourable for him as he slipped his penis inside her in one swift move, groaning loudly when her moist heat enveloped his intimate parts. For him, it was a feeling second to none as if her vagina was sculpted exactly for his needs.

His intentions were to start slowly but once he thrust into her and she intuited his move, meeting him in response, he was unable to curb himself any longer. It was as if some invisible power drove him on and set up a frantic tempo, having no idea where the energy for it had come from. She hadn't protested at all, urging him verbally to go faster if he needed so when she released his lips and looked deeply into his eyes.

Why would she even complain when the synchronic movements of their hips had started to build orgasm number two inside of her? No, she prodded him into deeper, mighty and faster pace as his manhood rubbed her tight wetness in the most delicious way. Their groans and moans had grown more high-pitched with each move, bouncing against the walls of the bedroom. Not that the loudness of their love-making bothered anyone, considering that fireworks kept exploding and people were singing songs of celebrations behind the windows and walls of their apartment.

The noises were the only thing they could do to let out the pleasure they had been building between them because not even kisses were enough at that moment. He stuck his hands beneath her loins to lift her slightly because she kept arching her back towards him, their tempo murderous and draining, yet they didn't slow down for even a second. The matter at hand was far too urgent and required immediate solution.

His climax hit him unexpectedly and with a vertiginous intensity. He tried to keep himself hovering over her, propping himself up on his hands but his elbows betrayed him as soon as he placed them around her head. She drew him to her, though, wrapping her arms around him tightly, drowning in an orgasm on her own that had come to her just a couple of seconds after his.

Grunting and puffing, he spilled his sperm inside her, leaving only a firing feeling in the pit of his stomach and inexpressible satisfaction all over his body. Despite the darkness around him and the blankness in his mind, every touch of her fingertips on his delicate skin sent an impulse inside his brain, making him shiver uncontrollably. And that she knew where to touch him to illicit some sexy sounds from his mouth.

He became limp for a couple of long minutes with occasional trembles here and then raging through him. The gratification was far too good to enjoy at once and so he slowly drank into the dizzy feeling gulp after gulp, nestling his head in the crook of her neck where she safely welcomed him, raking his hair softly and giving him whatever amount of time he needed, not at all bothered by the smothering weight of his body on hers.

In the aftermath of his orgasm, only his ragged breathing remained, making his chest to constrict and then release in a deep intake of breath. Judging by the sounds beneath him, she'd been going through the same process. He managed to lift himself up a little bit to look into her radiant, satisfied and gorgeous face, one he loved so much to observe in attempt to solve every single feature.

"Happy New Year, Tony." She wished him with trembling voice, still deeply shaken from their carnal activities.

No other response than devour her with his kiss had come to his mind and so he did exactly so, burying his fingers into her hair as he tentatively parted her lips and then swallowed her whole in a fervent kiss. Needless to say that it wasn't the last lip-lock of that night, neither their only one love-making as they kept demonstrating their desire, lust and love until dawn.

_**The End of Chapter 32** _

* * *

*1 Note before anyone might get angry – this particular way of making lasagne I'm describing in the following paragraphs is my personal way. If there are some errors and Italians make lasagne differently, I apologize in advance for butchering your delicious and wonderful cuisine. I think that this story has proven enough that I'm a person who doesn't mind doing a research so before I made my very first lasagne, I read like 50 recipes at least (even the Italian ones) and eventually combined them according to my cooking skills and abilities (also dietary reasons since I'm lactose intolerant so for example I make Béchamel sauce with soya milk) so I could make the meal myself. If anything, this is my humble and devoted homage to Italian cuisine which I have an undying love for.

*2 Mother sauces – five fundamental sauces according to _Le Guide Culinaire_ (A Guide to Modern Cookery) by Auguste Escoffier. Aside béchamel sauce, the list also includes sauce espagnole (fortified brown veal stock sauce thickened with a brown roux), sauce velouté (light stock-based sauce thickened with roux or mixture of egg yolks and cream), sauce hollandaise (emulsion of egg yolk, butter and lemon or vinegar) and sauce tomate (tomato-based sauce).


	33. Chapter 33

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 33** _

The New Year started off with a bang for both Tony and Ziva. After additional three lazy days spent mostly in the apartment by cooking more delicious food, love-making, several furniture adjustments and just pure enjoyment of each other's company, the first Monday in January threw them into a whirlwind of busyness full of work-related, school-related and generally life-related tasks.

Ziva headed to the University of Maryland to meet with her Exchange Coordinator to register herself and do other necessary administrative acts. For the past few days, she'd been working on her academic plan to meet with the requirements for fulfilling the study plan that she had to present to the coordinator so she would approve it. She felt excited to start the new chapter of her student life and her excitement was equally shared by Tony who had helped her to set up the plan.

Entering the campus felt a little bit different than doing so in Haifa since the surroundings looked way different. It was huge with Georgian* buildings and many green areas that weren't that much green at the moment. It filled her with a pleasant tingling as she weaved her way through the university premises, passing by groups of friends and hurrying students of all ages and nationalities as they discussed their Christmas experiences.

She examined the map carefully to plan her way to the H.J. Patterson Hall while seeing as much from the campus as it was possible. There was no hurry, she still had time until the scheduled meeting and she just loved walking through the premises as if she was in a dream. Looking like a total newbie didn't bother her at all. Contrarily, she loved to explore new things and experience the first impression.

She didn't even see her age as a problem. During her studies in Israel, she'd already gotten accustomed to the fact that most of her class was significantly younger than her. And she'd found it cute that they'd all considered her as a motherly figure, looking for an advice in her and taking her as a natural leader. She'd enjoyed it and she was ready to assume the same role if circumstances allowed it.

In comparison with her exciting trip to the academic environment, Tony had way dire situations to deal with. He was glad that it wasn't his turn to lead because it would be quite hard test right at the beginning and he had enough work to deal with everything. Bishop had been uncharacteristically silent since the morning, McGee had been by contrast garrulous and kept supplying him with uninteresting information and Gibbs had acted as if there wasn't any significant change in the team dynamics at all.

The atmosphere remained even after a 'case' landed on their desks. A private jet flying from New Orleans to D.C. full of fuel suddenly ceased all communication. There was a fear that uncontrolled decompression could cause death to everyone aboard which made the plane completely uncontrollable and its crash could cause death of many others. NCIS was given time to find a way how to prevent it before it would be preventively shut down.

Abby was the one who stepped up and put on a great performance, hacking into a satellite and sending the plane false data so the autopilot would crash land in a reservoir, not harming anyone, possibly only the people on the plane if anyone was even alive. NCIS was given this case because Naval Intelligence Officer Gil Lively was on board together with an executive from Blye Industries, a military tech company.

Everything seemed fine under the circumstances, now it was only a question of finding what had really happened on the plane. Routine work – probably dead bodies, gather evidence, interview family etc. Until Dwayne Pride from NCIS' New Orleans office dropped the bomb that changed everything about the case – aside pilot and co-pilot, there was also an executive chef among the flight crew. Luca Sciuto, Abby's brother.

The Goth appeared completely okay with the information, though, shutting her mind to the eventuality that her brother could be dead. To Gibbs' dismay, she even made a Star Wars reference saying that she would feel a disturbance in the Force in such a case because it was very strong in her family. He had no idea what the hell it meant but Tony's amused and proud smile told him that it'd had something to do with some movie.

They grabbed their gear and set out towards the place of the crash. The crew was unfortunately indeed lifeless but there weren't any signs of death by hypoxia which was very strange and no one from the team liked it. On top of that, they found a badly burnt body wearing a chef coat with Luca's name. The situation was horrible and no one could believe that after such a joyful couple of days, it would be suddenly disrupted by such a tragic event.

Fortunately for their little family, Abby positively disproved that the body was Luca's which calmed them down significantly but since he wasn't answering his phone, they had to find him. NOLA's officers went to search his apartment, finding things everyone was surprised with. Stash of cash, guns and a bug weren't exactly the typical property of a man who did cooking for a living.

But they could certainly be useful for the mystery meeting of the Naval Intelligence Officer Lively with the Secretary of Defence that had been scheduled for the next day and that had been prevented by the death of the people on the plane. What Luca was supposed to have anything to do with it, they had no idea. At least they finally had a trace because he had texted Abby to find him in an amusement park in North Carolina.

Although he didn't let it show, Tony begrudgingly surrendered to his fate to drive Abby there. She couldn't go alone and once she was out of the office, McGee had to step in for her and Bishop was already assigned to check out other evidence. With a sorrowful sigh, he headed down to the garage to pick up the car and prepare himself for an overnight, a couple-of-hours long drive.

He settled in the driver's seat, waiting for Abby to come and pulled out his phone, dialling the number of his girlfriend. "Hello, my love." The smooth voice of his Israeli princess resounded in his ears and he smiled genuinely for the first time in the past few hours.

"It's so pleasing to hear your voice." He replied instead of a greeting, leaning his head against the headrest.

He heard her chuckle and imagined as she was huddling in the corner of the couch with a blanket draped over her, the phone at her ear. His only wish was to join her, hating the impossibility of happening so. "Having a hard day?" She asked him in a sympathetic tone.

"More than that." He confessed and rubbed his face to chase away the fatigue that threatened to overtake him. "Did you hear about the plane crash?"

She threw an eye on the TV screen with the news programme on it. "Yes, it is all over the news. You are working on it?" She affirmed and her heart started to beat faster as the fear of her love being in a life-threatening situation seized her.

"Yeah, it's our case." He confirmed and closed his eyes as he massaged his neck to provide some relief to his stiff muscles. "The worst thing about it is that Abby's brother Luca was supposed to be on the plane."

Confused silence followed after the information had been received. "Gosh, is he alright?" Ziva inquired him with worry in her voice. She'd heard that all the passengers on the plane were dead and that notion that one of them was supposed to be her friend's brother...

She'd never met him but she'd seen countless of photos and heard numberless of stories Abby had shared. Luca was sweet, sometimes maybe too soft, but successful man with an amazing talent for cooking. She wanted to believe that everything was just an accident, that Luca was alright and had nothing do with the dead people on the plane but Tony's tone told her that there was more to tell, something out of the ordinary but he couldn't share it. Not yet.

"We don't know yet. We just know that he's alive because he's just texted Abby to meet him in an amusement park in North Carolina." Tony confessed, the last couple of words said in a whiny manner as if Luca couldn't choose some better location. Closer, to be exact.

The woman on the other side of the line gave out a sigh of relief upon hearing the information. "Which means you are not able to make it home tonight." She assessed all too knowingly. Nothing in her voice prompted that she was mad.

He opened his eyes and straightened his back. "Are you reading my mind?" He asked her carefully because the main reason of his call was to announce his inability to arrive home. He didn't want to leave her alone in the apartment but the duty called.

She laughed softly in response. "No, you silly. I was in this job for long enough to know that you are not calling me to tell me that you will be home in a couple of minutes." She told him in amusement. Even if she was an octopus with five fingers on each tentacle, she would never be able to count how many times she'd never made it home at the end of the day because of a case. "You are driving Abby to North Carolina."

He shook his head at her foresight, sharing her amusement. "I'm sorry." He apologized, though. It seemed unfair to suddenly abandon her after days of spending so much time together.

"Do not be. It is the job." She excused him with understanding. Sure, she would rather have him home but she understood the duty. And he was leaving with Abby whom she trusted, despite the current state of their friendship. "Do what you must. I will wait for you here."

His heart fluttered with joy – both for her sympathy and assurance that she would be there when he returned. He felt way more at ease than at the beginning of the call – a sign that he was making an improvement with dealing his fear from abandonment. "How was your day?" He asked her since they were speaking only about him until now and he was dying to know about her first day at university, though she still had time to the beginning of the semester.

"Cool!" She answered in excitement and he could hear her smile, creating a smile on his own face. "I am officially an exchange student, my academic plan we so hardly worked on is approved so I spent the rest of the day in the library and I also bought some additional books to do some more reading which is what I am doing right now."

He closed his eyes again to add the stash of books on the couch into the image of her sitting in their apartment with either a cup of something warm like hot chocolate or tea or with a glass of wine. Actually, some of the books were surely opened as she studied them, lapping up the information inside. He wanted nothing else than start up the engine and head home to join her but he couldn't.

"Wow, you're going to be so clever... How will I manage to keep up with you?" He sighed rhetorically, his wistful tone revealing the secret desires of his heart.

Her hearty chuckle in the thick accent of hers made him shiver and he opened his eyes. In instant, he noticed the Goth nearing his car as she clutched her go-bag in her hands. "Listen, I gotta go. Abby's coming." He interrupted Ziva in the middle of the first word she wanted to reply with.

"Okay, have a safe journey. I hope everything turns out alright." She wished him luck, pouting at the abrupt end of the conversation because she wanted to talk to him some more. "And when you get there, call me."

He waved back at Abby who erratically moved with her hand to gain his attention before she put the go-bag on the backseat. "Will do. Love you my little student." He bid goodbye to her as the Goth opened the door on the other side and sat down to the passenger's seat.

"Love you too, my very special agent." She purred in reply and he couldn't help the wide smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he grinned widely.

He put away the phone once the call ended, catching Abby observing him with a small smile on her face. "What?" He asked her, feeling his ears burning with embarrassment.

"Nothing." She replied calmly and sat back with a sigh as she focused her gaze right in front of her. "It's just nice to see you happy again."

He gave out a chuckle and started up the car, setting out for North Carolina. Abby was mostly silent, staring out of the window and lost in her deep thoughts. He let her be and didn't inquire her about her brother. After all, if everything went well, he would have the chance to meet with the source of her worries very soon. For now, he focused on driving with the most vigilance he could muster and not to fall asleep.

Finding Luca in the amusement park showed way harder task than Tony had anticipated because he wasn't seen anywhere. Abby kept insisting, however, that he was surely there, just hiding because the security guards had been alerted about their little mission and he was too scared to show up. He would be lying if he claimed that his frustration over spending whole day in a place where he didn't want to be wasn't showing as he had snapped at Abby a couple of times.

She was taking it well, though, always throwing at him her apologetic eyes and friendly rub of his shoulder as she tried to apologize from keeping him away from Ziva. After hours of roaming around, even taking a couple of rides, Luca eventually showed up, saying that he had woken up in a hotel with no recollection of how he'd gotten there and when he had seen the news about the plane crash and search of his apartment, he'd contacted Abby right away.

Back in the headquarters, they found out that the people on the plane died due to poison on the utensils and the security footage from the hangar the night before the flight proved that Luca had been the last person handling the silverware. Gibbs immediately called Tony to provide him with the information because the order was clear – arrest Luca Sciuto as a suspect of a mass murder.

That was an order Tony disliked to carry out but he had no choice. And Abby surprisingly didn't turn her anger towards her friend, but towards her little brother. Despite her effort to talk to Luca and grill him about what he had gotten himself into, Tony made precautions to prevent her from doing so as anything that could be said might influence the investigation. His heart was bleeding for his friend but a protocol was a protocol.

Everything about the case seemed to be just very weird. Jenner Blye, the great man behind Blye Industries, apparently went missing and there were fears for his life. Any connection to the secret meeting between the Navy and the company seemed to be fatal for anyone involved. The only one who could shed some light into it was Luca and his sister firmly believed that he would cooperate easily as he was surely innocent.

But to her astonishment, he didn't. To Gibbs' dismay, he asked for a lawyer and when Abby burst into the interrogation room to remind him that Gibbs hated lawyers, he defended himself that she'd always advised him not to say anything without his lawyer. The Goth argued that it was different now because NCIS were her family. Then they started to "speak" in a sign language until Luca revealed that there was a woman he was trying to protect at the moment because he suspected that once he would say all he knew, they would go after her.

He kept defending her that Eva was different than other women, running away from abusive husband and connecting with him in a prayer group in church. The cash, the guns and the bug were neither his, nor Eva's and somebody was just trying to set them up because he cooked for a tech mogul. The other part of his testimony reeked with something dirty because she apparently changed cell phones often, didn't want to take any pictures with him and kept her last name in secret.

Whoever she was, there was no doubt she was taking advantage of Luca and his job position to get to the secrets of Blye Industries. The next day, they found out that she was Eva Azarova, a Russian sleeper agent, working for no one else but the Diplomatic Counsellor Anton Pavlenko, a man they had already met during the Mishnev's hunt on Gibbs in attempt to kill him.

Tony had been aware about half of the things, though. After dropping Abby and Luca at NCIS in the late night hours and watching part of the interrogation, he was dismissed for the day and he gratefully headed home to get some sleep as he had hardly had any in the last forty eight hours. And it was necessary, he barely managed to park his car in some reasonable way as he kept tripping over his own legs while he dragged himself up to the apartment.

To no surprise, it was dark inside and he stopped for a moment to admire his girlfriend's sleeping form on the bed in the bedroom. This time he hadn't doubted that she would be there, he'd been certain of it. Tiptoeing across the apartment, he drank and ate something before silently disappearing to the bathroom to take a quick but refreshing shower and sighing in pleasure as the hot water cascaded down his back.

Throwing away the covers, he slipped inside the bed and found his favourite position. She stirred next to him as she peered at him beneath her eyelashes. "Tony..." She rasped in her sleepy voice, inching her body towards him as she desired to feel her boyfriend skin on skin.

"I didn't want to wake you, sorry." He apologized promptly and embraced her as she threw her leg across his, snuggling at his side possessively.

"Better to wake me up now than me waking up in the morning to realize you were here and I did not have the chance to see you or talk to you." She mumbled into the crook of his neck, her hand caressing his chest soothingly.

He chuckled and turned his head sideways slightly so he could award her with a kiss on the top of her head. "I missed you." He whispered into the night longingly.

"I missed you, too." She confessed equally yearningly and their respective touches and grips suddenly intensified and tightened. "So, how did it go? How is Abby? And Luca?"

Sighing deeply, he raised his free hand to massage his throbbing aching temples. "They're fine in NCIS. He's been interrogated because the security footage showed him as the last person handling the poisoned silverware that killed the people on the plane." He explained and she lifted her head, propping her chin up against his chest to look at him

"I don't believe he did it, though. It seems that it was the unknown impostor on the plane." He added to answer her silent question if he trusted in Luca's claim about his innocence or not.

She nodded in understanding as she lifted her hand and caressed his face in the darkness. "So, someone is setting him up?" She suggested the obvious fact, although she had no idea why would anyone want Luca dead or accused of a crime with life imprisonment as a result.

"Apparently. And his girlfriend, too." He agreed with her, throwing his free hand against his eyes to disburden them from the natural duty to seek light in the dark.

"At least that's what he says. However, her suspicious behaviour and the fact that he's working as a chef for company with military connections..." he added in the afterthought as his analytical detective brain refused to work until part of the mystery would be solved, "It all screams with _espionage_. And I _hate_ spies."

He could feel her body shaking under the fit of laughter that hit her and soon it also reached his ears. "You love James Bond." She objected naturally, having the urge to add 'and me' but refrained from doing so. Her past belonged to the past. If anything, she was an ex-spy at the moment.

"Fiction is always better than reality, you know." He explained although he chuckled himself at his own words. "It's just always so mentally challenging as you have to carefully assess who to trust."

She patted his chest and laid her head back in the crook of his neck to snuggle comfortably. "Then go to sleep, my very special agent. You must be at the top of your game tomorrow." She lulled him and closed her eyes, sleep hitting her in no time in his arms.

He would love to stay awake for a little while longer to hear about her day but he was sure that if anything important happened, she would tell him. And so he gave in to the sleep that overtook him in a second, his breathing evening. With her by his side, his dreams were filled with images of their future life together and although everything wasn't so perfect, he wouldn't exchange it for anything.

In the morning, she prepped the breakfast for them, refusing to tell him where she was heading. Only thing he got was one-word answers with mischievous gleam in her eyes and mysterious smile playing on her lips. She soothed him with a passionate kiss to assure him that she only had some sort of a surprise for him and running some necessary errands during it but he would know all about it soon enough when the right time came.

He didn't have much time to rack his brains over it as the chaos after the reveal of Eva's identity ensued. Especially when the Russian spy herself called Luca, who still believed that she was a good guy which made Abby absolutely frustrated with him, and demanded to speak with Gibbs, telling him not to contact her boss through official channels and rather figure something else out. Despite the problems with tracing the call, they could place it in a specific area at least, with a Russian restaurant in the perimeter.

They headed there immediately, searching for Eva but Pavlenko who seemed to be waiting there for them informed them that Eva was back in New Orleans where he needed her to be. Despite their mutual awareness, both Gibbs and Tony were willing to listen to the Russian Counsellor who claimed that by telling them what was going on here, he was going against his own government and risking his life.

The imposter on the plane had been one of his agents who was supposed to represent Pavlenko during the meeting with Secretary of Defence as the Counsellor himself could hardly just openly appear in the government building without raising the suspicion considering the current state of the ties between USA and Russia. The Naval Intelligence Officer Lively was the author of this idea and so Pavlenko went through with it.

Blye Industries had developed a technology for the use of US Army under the name Project Manta Ray and Russians had had in plan to steal it. With Pavlenko's blessing, all the people on the plane had been on their way to Washington D.C. to go public with the whole thing to prevent the war that would have surely started if Russians had succeeded in their plans.

However, the hand of death intervened once again because before the Russian Counsellor could reveal more, he collapsed on the ground and even the called ambulance couldn't help him. He was dead, poisoned after drinking the vodka shot. Everything pointed towards Russian government as they clearly didn't want anyone to know about their plans to steal the technology and attempted to kill everybody who wanted to reveal the truth.

No wonder then that the Russian Consulate didn't hesitate to come for the dead body of their Counsellor before any autopsy could be carried out. NCIS was prepared for them, though, choosing to trust Pavlenko and sent two vans to New Orleans where Loretta Wade, NOLA's pathologist, was ready to take over his body to find evidence that could help both offices to solve this case.

One of the vans with Ducky and Jimmy was stopped by Russians and searched once they realized that NCIS in D.C. no longer had the body. It was Gibbs' secret plan, though, as Russians interference had been expected and so the right van with Bishop behind the wheel safely got to New Orleans and delivered the body of Pavlenko right under Loretta's hands.

In spite of all the unfortunate events, Tony was glad that the focus on the investigation now shifted to New Orleans. Bishop's personal presence in the largest city of the state of Louisiana meant that he could stay in D.C. and provide his additional support from NCIS headquarters. That night, he made it home on time and his reward was more than agreeable.

Delicious dinner, the sweet nothings Ziva kept whispering in his ear as she held him in her arms while they watched the movie, providing him the comfort after a couple of hard days in work was all he needed and desired. He knew that this type of treatment would be short-lived as once Ziva's school started, she would have more work than now, so he enjoyed it as much as he could to repay the favour later.

The next morning was mostly hard due to Abby's agitation and her sudden outbursts of ranting no one could stop. Luca had apparently flown back to New Orleans without her knowing to find and protect Eva while Abby remained mistrustful towards her due to the vast evidence that pointed the finger in her direction. Thanks to her deep knowledge of her sibling, she could provide NCIS' NOLA team the essential information where Luca could be.

Pride had no problems to find him, then, and despite Luca's initial attempt to deny he knew about Eva's whereabouts, Eva suddenly appeared and claimed she didn't kill anyone. She was ready to start shooting in the restaurant they were in just to get out and not to be caught. Pride didn't have much of a choice but to let her go, detaining at least the shocked Luca.

However, his trust and belief in Eva didn't waver as he refused to help Pride to lay a trap for her. He admitted that she hadn't told him the truth about herself but he still believed that she was a good person and whatever reasons she had for doing the things she'd done, he was with her. Not even Abby who called Pride to assure herself that he was alright could break his resolve.

The autopsy of Pavlenko's body proved the suspicion that he was poisoned by the same substance as people on the plane. Some new direction in the investigation was gathered from the mosquito bites he'd received recently that pointed towards specific location outside New Orleans where a research facility in the property of Blye Industries was located.

LaSalle and Pride immediately headed there, to their surprise finding Jenner Blye himself there, hiding from the outside world and letting everyone to believe that he was missing. Once they started to talk to him, he required a medical assistance due nothing else but poisoning. To his luck, he survived. And it made him to confess everything he knew about Project Manta Ray.

It was an undetectable ship designed specifically for US Navy but was eventually rejected due to its cost. Department of Defence at least allowed Blye Industries to develop a commercial version, non-weaponized, that was eventually sold to a shell corporation with ties to Moscow. Thus, Russians tricked the tech mogul, got their hands on the technology, most likely weaponized it and put it already on the sea. Eva was then probably sent to kill anyone who knew about the project to keep it a secret as the group of the people on plane wanted to go public with it.

That was when Abby's agitation was peaking and Tony had a hard time to make her stay calm. To be honest, he wasn't sure how to feel about Eva. Although all of the evidence pointed towards her, it didn't make any sense to him why she would be lying and claim she was innocent, then. And why she still kept sticking around? If she really wanted to kill Luca, she'd already had the chance to do so.

Luca could be maybe naive but the good sense of judging people ran in Sciuto's family, blood or no blood. Somehow, Tony felt that things might not be the way they seemed but maybe he was just letting his personal experiences take over his judgement. His cop sense, on the other hand, definitely saw Eva as the bad guy in this whole case he couldn't wait to finally crack.

While they waited for the news from New Orleans, he managed to have a lunch with Ziva who praised him for being careful with his judgements, considering that she'd been in similar situations before. She knew what it was like not to be trusted and have that shadow of a doubt still around herself. But she also had vast experience in how certain spies could manipulate people easily so she advised him to be vigilant.

He was grateful for her guidance and even shared his worries about Abby, not surprised when she seemed to be equally concerned. She'd also given him a few tips how to help her to cope with fears for Luca's life, although she was dying to do so by herself. However, Abby hadn't requested her presence and so she had to stay in the back and wait, no matter how much it was tearing her up inside that she wasn't allowed to help her friend when it was needed.

In the meantime, the NOLA team found a transmitter in Pavlenko's tooth and the signal led them straight towards Paulina Kurteva, a member of Russian diplomatic corps. The woman denied knowing Eva but thanks to a technological trick, NOLA team could eavesdrop all of their conversations with Brody and Bishop on their tails, following their every step.

Unsurprisingly, they led them straight to an apartment where Eva had been hiding. Once the gunfire started, both female agents raced inside and found Paulina's henchmen dead, with Paulina taking cover and alive. Eva was nowhere to be found. During Paulina's interrogation, she denied her knowledge about Project Manta Ray but admitted that she was dispatched to investigate Pavlenko as his loyalty had been in question. Eva had never responded to her order to appear.

Pride had other stuff at hand, though, than interrogate Paulina and extract information after information from her so slowly as she loved to play games with him. Luca obstinately refused to lose his faith in Eva in spite of all the evidence and knowing that relationship between them was impossible. Moreover, he kicked out the back window in the office and escaped, most likely to meet with Eva.

When Abby learnt about that fact, she was absolutely livid. Nobody could be mad at her for that she blamed not only herself but everyone else around her for their inability to protect him as that was what she had done at first. Later, when she calmed down a bit a found her balance back again, she started to think clearly and aced this case once more, finding a way to track down Eva through her tooth transmitter.

NOLA's officers headed to the museum where they found Eva's signal quickly, finding Eva and Luca together as expected. They didn't know yet that Eva lured Luca out not because she wanted to kill him but because she wanted to get also the one person who was behind all of this, knowing that he was following every Luca's step and thus lead himself to her.

Before any explanation could be done, shooting started at the place. It wasn't Eva who had begun firing, though, but Huxley – the chief of security of the tech mogul Jenner Blye. She reacted quickly and saved Luca from getting hurt, fighting the man herself with eventual Pride's help. Once it was over, she was promptly arrested and took in for a questioning.

Huxley hadn't been trying to kill her but Luca as he had been the last one alive on the secret meeting where it had been decided that Project Manta Ray would go public. She refused to say more because if she spoke up, either Russians would charge her with treason or USA would put her away for espionage. Pride reminded her that Luca had been the one to have the undying faith her and she owed him an explanation at the very least.

This tactic move had paid off because it loosened up her tongue. She revealed that Pavlenko had been her mentor who had found out about Russians stealing the plans for Manta Ray and wanted to confirm it. She had seduced Luca to get to Jenner Blye and his tech secrets but things hadn't gone in the right direction when the people had started dying for this cause.

She hadn't disappeared because she'd wanted to avenge Pavlenko's death. In a sad tone, she complained that she'd always been living like a tool for her whole life but Luca had always seen her differently. The least she could do for him had been to save his life and kill Huxley. Why the security chief had been murdering people, she didn't know. All she knew that they had been orders and not from Russians.

Luca had the chance to say goodbye to her, urging her to run away but she only kissed him and thanked him for believing in her. This sweet man had done more for her than any other person in her life, except Pavlenko. Pride had bought her some more time, not letting Russians to take her away immediately but reasoning that she had to be debriefed by US authorities first.

Deeper dig into Jenner Blye showed that he was behind it all. Blye Industries hadn't been tricked into selling Project Manta Ray, they had sold it to Russians intentionally. Once Pavlenko had come to them with the suspicion of a theft, wanting to make it right in order to prevent the war, Jenner Blye had ordered Huxley to get rid of every single person involved. To keep the suspicion away from him, he had poisoned himself.

Manta Ray had been tracked in the sea and diverted to destroy itself without causing any international incident. It was clear that Russians would rather act that they hadn't lost anything than to admit it as they would have to admit the whole spy plot revolving around the ship. More life had been saved, technology secrets protected and both NCIS offices could breathe a sigh of relief until the next case.

"You know, this is one of the things I actually miss about it." Ziva admitted to Tony over the cup of coffee with a whipped cream cap, dusted with a little bit of nutmeg and cinnamon and vanilla wafer stick stuck inside the beverage. "The thrill of investigation. The satisfaction of well-done work."

He raised his right eyebrow at her in curiosity, hungrily biting the vanilla wafer stick in half, scooping some of the whipped cream on the rest. "Are you having second thoughts about your decision to leave the agency, Miss David?" He asked her in an amusing tone, teasing her as she had admitted that this job had its perks.

She didn't surprise him with a vehement shake of her head as he knew her well enough to be sure about her opinion. "No, the negatives still outweigh the positives. At least for me." She replied and buried her nose in the whipped cream to get underneath for the coffee.

"You're welcomed back any day." He laughed softly and kissed her nose to help her to get rid of the white substance that was sticking there.

Licking her finger and humming over the delicious taste that the mixture of whipped cream, nutmeg and cinnamon played along her taste buds, she smiled up at him. "Thank you, Vance is sharing your opinion." She told him and he returned her the smile with a knowing look. "However, I will rather stay on what I am doing now and just be incredibly proud of my very special agent."

His face turned scarlet and his smile grew wider. One thing was to nickname himself that way and totally other was to hear it from her. He put down the cup of coffee and embraced her tightly, making their bodies melt into each other on the couch. She only dared to stick her hand out to free herself of the burden of the cup, too, and then she wrapped her arms around his middle just as warmly.

The hearty, soothing interweaving of their limbs was a definition of absolute bliss for both. He revelled in the comfort her hug was providing to him after the tiring days full of disentangling the cobweb of spy lies and saving Luca. And although she hadn't spent her days idly but had planned certain surprise for him, she'd missed him terribly and had been worried for him and the team immensely.

These thoughts turned her attention towards one person in particular, one who had suffered an emotional torture during this whole case. And she wanted nothing but to talk to her and help her to get through it. "Tony?" She asked him timidly, hating to disrupt the tranquil moment but her nagging thoughts wouldn't simply leave her. "Do you think I can go visit Abby to make sure she is okay?"

She lifted her head up to look into his eyes to show him the depth of her worries. She had no doubts that everyone in the agency had done their best to ensure that Abby had been calmed down and provided with the best help. But she could understand the strain the Goth must have been through like no one else and she wished to personally check on her to at least show her sympathy.

Throwing her a vague look, he seemed to ponder it deeply. She'd shared with him the arrangement between her and Abby so he knew that the forensic scientist had requested time and space above all else. But she couldn't stand the helplessness she was feeling as she hadn't provided any kind of active help. As mad as Abby could be at her, she was still her friend going through hard times and Ziva wasn't one of those who would just back away silently.

"It is just driving me nuts not to be able to lend a hand and I..." She explained further when he remained silent, only to be interrupted by his pleasant kiss on her forehead.

"Go." He instructed her gently, looking into her eyes deeply to convince her about his sincerity. He was certain that Abby would welcome it. The Goth could be tough sometimes, but in the end, her friends were her whole world.

Giving out a sigh of relief, she smiled at him, kissing his cheek gratefully. "I will be back as soon as I can." She promised to him and went to change her clothes.

He lent her his car, feeling more confident to do so after witnessing her driving style in Israel a few weeks ago. Abby didn't live too far away but since the evening was already turning into a deep night, he was calmer to know that she didn't have to walk the streets despite her ability to defend herself. Assuring her to take all the time she needed with the forensic scientist, he kissed her in return to her goodbye kiss and snuggled on the couch, pushing the play button on the movie he had selected.

* * *

Ziva listened at the door for a moment to ensure that Abby wasn't sleeping already but according to the sounds behind the door, the Goth was wide awake and in a very fidgety mood. After a couple of more seconds of hesitation, she pushed the button of the doorbell and stepped away a little bit from the door to put some space between her and the black wooden-like surface.

Abby opened the door in an instant, dressed in her black and white pyjamas with skulls all over and black fluffy slippers with skeletons on them that Ziva had purchased her a couple of years ago. "Ziva?" She looked at her confused, her eyes bashfully peering into the light on the corridor.

"Hi." The Israeli greeted her with a careful smile. Her female counterpart looked distressed, but in full control of her emotions. "Can I come in?"

She expected the Goth to hesitate and question her motives, so she was definitely surprised when she stepped away and opened the door for her, inviting her in. She went inside, shiver running through her as the memories of the moments she had spent there with her friend flashed in front of her eyes. She couldn't fight the nostalgic smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

The apartment of her friend hadn't significantly changed but she could notice the subtle evidence about Burt's occasional presence. The table in the living room was filled with photos, no doubt family photos with her and Luca, together with some plans of apartment makeover she and Burt had been apparently planning, hinting that they maybe were about to live together.

"Do you want something?" Abby passed by her as she adjusted the lights in the apartment on brighter colour, throwing her absent-minded gaze towards the kitchen.

The Israeli focused her gaze on her friend to assess her mental state and it took her breath away how much she actually saw herself in her. Those blood-shot eyes so desperately trying to hide the lack of sleep, the slightly dishevelled hair from throwing in the bed from side to side, the hunched posture of the body as she tried to protect herself from any kind of attack from the outside... It was like looking into mirror some time ago.

"No, thank you." She refused her offer and moved to sit down on the couch, patting the vacant place next to her. "I do not want to keep you for long."

Abby nodded, cracking her knuckles in nervousness as she willed her legs to carry her to the couch, sitting down unsurely. Her eyes immediately landed on the photos of her and Luca as kids and she couldn't refrain from reaching out to one of them and taking it into her hands. She couldn't even imagine how she would deal with losing him. There was certain peace in her heart that it hadn't happened but her dreams full of 'what ifs' kept her awake.

Ziva put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently. "I know that we two had a certain agreement but..." She began to explain her presence here, her throat constricting with worry she'd felt since the beginning of this case. Gulping to find her voice again, she took a deep breath. "When Tony told me what happened I just could not... I needed to make sure you are okay."

"I'm fine." Abby answered mechanically, staring on the photo with a distant look on her face, evidently being with her thoughts somewhere else.

Those words were too familiar to Ziva, though. She'd said them so many times that her tongue could even sense the flavour of a blatant lie. Although the Goth didn't want to admit it, the case had shaken up her world and her certainty that her brother was safe under any circumstance. Until now, Luca had never been in real danger that would threaten his life. To face the reality that it had already happened once was crushing, especially when it could happen again.

Squeezing her shoulder again, she looked at her softly. "Abby..." She said in a persuasive manner. It wasn't her intention to force her friend to a breakdown but admittance was one of the first steps the Goth needed to do to deal with the situation.

And she didn't have to wait long for it to happen. Abby kept it together for a couple of more seconds but then as she allowed her body to relax, the endless tears welled down her face as her shoulders started shaking with sobs. In a moment, she went from mechanic and controlled person to a bundle of sadness, desperately weeping to let out all the stress she had kept locked up deep inside her.

"Come here." Ziva spread her arms caringly and Abby instinctively let herself to be embraced in a comforting hug of her friend.

She let her to cry for as long as she needed while caressing her hair softly and providing the important comfort. Her understanding of Abby's emotions was deeper than anyone could ever guess. Ziva knew what it was like to live with the worry that her siblings could end up dead and what was even worse, she'd lived through the nightmare of her family being killed in front of her eyes and in one case even by her own hands.

She understood that Abby wasn't crying now because she would still be worried about Luca. No, the reasons behind her watery eyes were more profound. All her protection measures had failed and it was only understandable that she wished to have them back, strengthen them and keep them workable. But once one lost control, it was very hard to gain the trust in them again and prevent any failure.

What Abby needed at the moment was someone else who trusted in her to deal with the situation appropriately and find the lost balance and faith in her protective measures. To regain the certainty and assurance she'd been used to having around. And Ziva was willing to assume that role and help her to get through this tough, but needed struggle and stay by her side.

Feeling calmer as the tension slowly dissipated from her body, leaving her body and her mind in somewhat hazy state of weakness she eventually embraced, knowing that she should feel that way, Abby let go of Ziva and sat back, wiping away the wetness on her face. She scrambled around for a napkin to blow her nose and dry her bloodshot eyes, puffed up from the crying.

"Do you want some tea?" Ziva asked her caringly, feeling more confident around her now when Abby had manifested a great portion of trust towards her.

Abby nodded in confirmation, sniffing as she bent down to pick up the photo she had held in her hands before the breakdown while her Israeli friend headed for the kitchen to fix two warm teas for both. She stared at it with more focused and sober look than earlier, casting it aside when Ziva came back, putting down two steaming cups on the table in front of her and assumed her previous position on the couch.

"I should have protected him better." Abby muttered guiltily, sinking her back into the couch and snatching a pillow she could clutch in her hands as a protection.

The Israeli clicked her tongue in disagreement. "You have done everything you could for him, Abby." She reasoned with her. "You equipped him with everything important he needs in life and he uses it. That is a success."

The Goth sighed deeply and sniffed loudly in protest. "And yet, he fell into a trap because he trusted the wrong people." She argued, wishing for giving her brother more advices that would protect him from such a thing to ever happen.

"He trusted them because you taught him to see the best in people, to rely on his instinct and judge them according to it." Ziva objected subtly because angering Abby wasn't her intention. "And in the end, he was right about Eva."

The other woman remained silent for a while, grabbing the cup of tea in her hands and blowing across the surface to cool it down. "It's not just about her, he's like that almost with everyone." She then said after some deep thinking. "And this time, it almost got him killed."

"But it was his risk and not yours." Ziva didn't relent and emphasized her words with gestures to stress the importance of what she wanted to say. "You cannot assume the responsibility for his actions to either protect him or spare him from something."

The Goth opened her mouth in the protest but immediately shut it up. It could be a cruel truth but Ziva was right, Luca's behaviour in the past few days had proved it. He'd behaved like the independent adult man he was and she really couldn't protect him from everything if he was supposed to live normal life. And she was proud at him for it, just as for his success in the cooking field.

"Luca is a smart man, I am sure he took his lesson from this experience and he will do his best not to repeat his mistakes." Ziva assured her, soothingly running her hand over Abby's shoulder. "You are the best sister he could ever ask for. So, keep trusting him and soon, you will see you have nothing to worry about."

At least Ziva believed so in Luca's case. There had been many of those that never worked out – like her half-brother for example – but Luca didn't seem as the same type. And Abby needed to establish that trust again in order to have faith in the protective measures she had been applying for most of her life. It needed time as it wasn't an easy thing to do but it was the first necessary step.

"I know. I just hope you're right about him taking his lesson from this." She looked at Ziva hopefully as if she could answer her rhetorical question, knowing that it was impossible. Only the time could give her the answer.

She then took Ziva's hand and squeezed it gratefully. "Thank you so much, Ziva. I needed to hear this from someone like you." She appreciated the talk and her need to make sure that she had been okay whatever the time was. They both knew that 'someone like you' referred to her sibling and family experiences because the others lacked them.

Not knowing how to reply so she wouldn't assume anything, she only spread her arms and embraced the Goth in a brief, warm hug. Abby accepted it, feeling more peace in her heart because it was filled with hope. Smiling, she realized how nice it was from the Israeli woman to come visit her and say those couple of words that were meaningful. It was a gesture of a real friendship.

"I finished reading your emails." She blurted out without thinking the moment Ziva seemed to be about to announce her departure as her job here was done.

For a moment, Ziva didn't know how to respond. Acknowledging it would most definitely lead to them talking about their friendship. However, as much as she desired this situation to be resolved, she wasn't sure if Abby was in a good mental state to deal with it. They had agreed that the time was needed here to heal the wounds and it was barely a week since that moment.

"That is not why I came here." She eventually replied with a neutral sentence, giving Abby the choice to either go deeper with it or back out.

The forensic scientist smiled and tasted the hot tea carefully so she wouldn't burn her tongue. "I know but I want to tell you." She remarked calmly, being sure about the direction of this conversation. "I needed to take my mind off Luca so I started to read them."

She'd had so many things to ponder and analyze – her relationship with Burt, her friendship with Ziva, Tony's new career advancement and all of a sudden Luca being in life-threatening danger. However, she'd realized that she'd always begun to deal with one thing, only to leave it behind and get down to another one. If she wasn't supposed to go insane, she had to start with concluding some of them and not keep opening new ones.

Luca had been the clear priority but once he'd been safe and sound under the supervision of people she trusted, there had been no obstacle in her way to transfer some of her attention towards something else. Ziva and the emails had been the easiest thing to deal with – she hadn't needed anything else but the USB flash, laptop and herself to go through all the messages word by word.

Beginnings had been hard to read as they were filled with painful emotions, explanations of the departure and what had led to it. Although Abby had read it earlier, her own emotional strain had given her another insight and more than ever, she'd felt very empathetic. Countless tears had prickled through her eyes and numberless gasps had seized her even breathing as she had been reading through Ziva's inner thoughts.

And in the end, she'd understood more than she had first anticipated. She could sense her initial despair from forsaking everything in the attempt to run away from the guilt and fear that had eventually controlled Ziva for so many months, preventing her to reach out. She now knew that it hadn't been easy to leave everything behind, that her inability to say goodbye to everyone had been mostly given due to her fragile resolve and she felt inexpressible remorse over it.

"I want you to understand that I was never mad at you for the leaving itself but for the way you did it." Abby said and her eyes softened after Ziva hung her head in shame. "There was no wider explanation, no personal goodbye."

The Israeli had to admit that she was exhausted and annoyed to rake over the same feelings of guilt all over again but she understood that just as she had given Abby the insight into her head, Abby had the same right to do so, as well. "I guess that when I put myself into your shoes, you must have felt... betrayed." She admitted, studying the floor beneath her feet with her eyes as if there was anything interesting on it.

"I did. You vanished, Tony left to find you and weeks later he returned absolutely broken." The Goth listed without any sign of reproach in the tone of her voice. She was just stating the facts.

Ziva instinctively started to defend herself, though. "I..." She croaked in protest but Abby silenced her with a comforting squeeze of her shoulder.

"I know you are aware of the pain you inflicted in him and that you suffered a great deal for it." She interrupted Ziva, reminding her that she had read the emails and so her understanding had already changed. "And I now understand your reasons for leaving the way you did."

She had the words in the emails etched in her memory. _I know you are mad at me for leaving so abruptly, Abby, and I do not hold it against you. Your words are like a knife but your anger is justified. However, after saying goodbye to Tony, I know I do not have enough strength to repeat it with all of you. Because I would be weak, my heart would betray me and I would want to return. But it would be wrong because I must leave, even though it hurts._

"You did the right thing." She told to her Israeli friend and Ziva opened her eyes wide in surprise. "I would persuade you to return if I had the chance to talk to you. But considering that not even Tony could convince you, I'd be probably even more hurt than I was."

It could sound weird but it had been a protection of some sorts. Tony had suffered the disappointing blow for all of them and although there had remained many things unspoken, Abby had realized that no matter how painful it had been, it'd been actually the best way it could have happened. Any different way would have probably meant even more harm caused by the departure of a dear friend.

Ziva smiled at her bitterly and relaxed as she sensed the positive direction of this talk. "Thank you for your understanding." She appreciated, reaching for her cup of tea finally and taking a sip. "And thank you also for not letting go of me entirely and bombarding me with those emails. It was a fantastic therapy to write those replies, although I have never sent them."

To write herself out of the emotions raging through her helped her a lot to sort out her thoughts and come to terms with her new way of life including the contradictory feelings of guilt and pride. As she'd never had the intention to let Abby read those replies, she could unwind and share anything she wanted. That was why she had given the USB flash to her in the first place because she'd wanted to demonstrate her trust in their friendship because after reading them, Abby was supposed to know more than anyone else.

The Goth was aware what she had meant as this gratitude had been expressed a couple of times in the typed messages. "Then I'm sorry for stopping." She peeped shyly as she had recalled the reason for ceasing the flow of emails to her friend, hoping for a reply one day.

"Did you stop writing them because Tony started dating Zoe?" Ziva fired without any intention to sound pushy but she just wanted to know. She could put two and two together and matched the date of Abby's last email with Tony's testimony about his relationship with the ATF agent.

The forensic scientist let out a deep breath and then nodded in affirmation, biting her lips. "I was afraid I could slip it out of my mouth and I didn't want you to know, thinking it might prevent you altogether from ever replying." She explained and shrugged her shoulders. "Besides, I already thought about it as pointless at that time. I took it as a good chance to move on."

Ziva nodded in comprehension, warming her hands against the cup. She'd figured a long time ago that Abby had a reason to stop writing her and she had dealt with it appropriately. Her mental state had already improved at that time so she had just kept living her life and hadn't bothered herself with concern. And when Tony had told her about his relationship with Zoe, she could put two and two together quite easily.

"So... Are we friends again?" She suggested carefully and risked a glance towards the Goth who was smiling at her amicably in return. She really hoped that this conversation was finally leading them towards forgiveness.

"In all honesty, I've never stopped considering you as one. So sorry for all the troubles, I was just too wrapped up in my own hurt." Abby replied with certain guilt weaved in the tone of her voice. "Of course that we're still friends."

The friendly, sealing hug that ensued afterwards was a symbolic closure of everything bad between them. They could start anew without any reproaches and feelings of guilt. Their friendship had always been strong enough to endure a couple of mishaps and both would be very sad if the eventually lost the beautiful bond between them. They have just proven that only the fragile friendships wouldn't survive all the pain caused by Ziva's departure. On the contrary, their bond was now stronger than ever.

Once the hug ended, Abby took the USB flash and stuck it into her laptop. She proceeded to delete all its content with Ziva's blessing as those emails no longer had any meaning for any of them. They were just a remainder of a painful past both she and Ziva wanted to forget about because it wasn't important anymore. Only the progress had counted and for that, they had the personal presence of each other.

There was one email, though, that Abby insisted on keeping for a little longer as it had been the proof of Ziva's homecoming and thus the new chapter of their lives. It was an answer she had typed in Israel in response to the Christmas wish with the dancing skeleton Abby had sent earlier to everyone. _Boo! Be careful what you wish for, Abby, because you might see me sooner than you think. ;)_

_**The End of Chapter 33** _

* * *

* Georgian architecture – architectural style referring to the first four British monarchs of the House of Hanover – George I. – IV. It was used mainly in English-speaking countries between 1714 – 1830. The style was revived in the late 19th century in the United States. It's characterized by its proportion and balance, not extremely decorated. Typical building material was stone or brick with typical colour of red, brown or white.


	34. Chapter 34

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 34** _

He mumbled his words of thanks, emphasized by a grateful kiss when she handed him the cup of coffee after she had assumed her position behind the wheel again, starting the car with ease. It was Sunday morning and she had decided to haul him out almost before the sun had risen and rob him of the bed's warmth to do something he had zero notions about.

Watching her closely as she alternated between focusing on driving and drinking her own coffee, always putting it away to the coffee holder when she needed to pull to a stop, he made a futile attempt to read her but couldn't. He had no idea where they were going and most importantly why, but it had struck him that it could have something to do with the 'surprise' she had refused to share with him earlier.

Not that he had been actively trying to find out what it had been about. Since she and Abby had become friends again, he'd been on a wave of pure happiness he didn't know how to channel and store for worse times. They'd been out with their friends now every second evening, just for a round of drinks or some good, hearty dinner. Plus, his leadership for two weeks had begun and he'd been having enough work with that, although the case they'd just closed was one of the easier ones.

Ziva's school was starting tomorrow and she happily described to him her 'Incoming Exchange Student Orientation' that had been going on for the whole week when she had gotten to meet with other international students during the various social events and required sessions, registered her classes and although it hadn't been necessary as she'd lived in the US for a long time and had been a naturalized citizen for a few years, she'd excitedly attended sessions about American culture and living in the United States that helped the international students to adjust to the new surroundings.

He could listen to her for hours, loving her gestures, laugh, smiles and enthusiasm with which she had been narrating her entertainment for the past week as he observed the scenery behind the car window. The winter in D.C. had showed some of its true colours as the temperatures had dropped and snow had covered the roads and pavements, making the countryside of Virginia look like a nice fairytale as the sun currently illuminated the sparkling white blanket.

It surprised him when she confidently parked the car in front of something that was called _Casey Tree Farm_ , looking as if it was the destination she truly had in mind to drive him to. Reluctantly, he stepped out of the car just as she had, shivering when the snow crunched below his feet while Ziva didn't miss a beat and went to greet the robust, blonde woman in the _Casey Tree_ uniform.

As they spoke to each other politely with Tony standing at the back as a shy little boy which he definitely wasn't but his confusion simply made him to feel quite uncertain, he assessed that they hadn't known each other. However, the blonde woman going by name Sadie had been certainly expecting them as she had gone towards them immediately with a welcoming smile on her face.

He snapped out of his reverie and shook hands with Sadie as Ziva had introduced them, trying to hold her excitement back. Then, they set out on a way towards the main building of the Casey Tree Farm so they could sign some papers considering their visit and what they were about to do there which still remained a mystery to Tony. He tried to get Ziva to tell him what was going on but she only shook her head and told him to wait and see.

When they entered the greenhouse specialized on the trees and Sadie started to explain to them what to do and where they could find the tools, he started to picking up on what was about to happen. And as surprised as he was, he actually find it adorable that Ziva planned to plant a tree with him or at least he assumed so. He loved the notion of having a living symbol of their love in the form of a tree.

Once Sadie brought them a young tree in a small organic pot with nurturing compost, she left them in privacy with assurance that if they needed anything, they could just wave or call at her and she would come to help them. She and other workers were in the greenhouse, as well, checking the trees and ensure they were okay after the temperatures had dropped.

Ziva chose a larger pot in which she wanted Tony to plant the tree and sat down on the bench to clean it with a wetted cloth from all the soil in the greenhouse. "So... We're going to plant a tree together?" Tony asked her, hands in his pockets as he looked around himself and breathed in the earthy smell of growing nature around him.

She smiled up at him and stood up, handing him the garden gloves which he put on his hands and accepted the shovel she handed him, as well. "No. _You_ are going to plant a tree." She replied in a playfully bossy tone, chuckling when she saw his eyed widen.

The reason for this gardening experiment was escaping his understanding and so his look gave out his puzzlement quite clearly. Not that he didn't like nature but he couldn't comprehend why she took him here and demanded from him to plant a tree. He'd expected a number of things when she had kidnapped him in the morning and driven him to such a remote area but planting a tree had hardly been on his mind.

She sighed and took him by his arm, pulling him down on the bench next to her. He put down the shovel, took off his gloves and looked at her quizzically as she started to explain her idea behind this activity in nature. "It is a tradition running in our family to plant a tree – usually an olive one – after a loss of a beloved person." She began, her voice quivering although she had prepared this speech in advance. "I have done so with Tali, with my mother and I have done so with Ari and my father, as well."

It started to dawn upon him where this was going but he was interested in what she had to say so he squeezed her shoulder soothingly. "The important thing about it is that you do not only create something to commemorate the person but you physically work on your grief." She remarked and looked in front of herself distantly. "It is a completely different thing from simply buying flowers and lighting up a candle while quietly standing at the grave. Some people do not even have such places where they could be remembered."

He nodded understandingly to sign his agreement as she bent down to scoop up a little bit of soil from the sack they had been given to use during the planting. "You work with your own hands to build this kind of commemoration, you are pouring your emotions into it – both positive and negative. And it's nurturing the tree, it helps it to grow." She explained further in her thick accent she was getting in the moments when she felt very emotional, holding the soil in her hands ceremonially.

"And as the time passes and you heal, the tree grows and matures with you. One day, you see it as a simple reminder of what you once felt and realize that only the good memories are staying with you." She went on, letting the soil to fall down through her fingers, rubbing the last remnants on her skin. "And that is why I want you to do this. Plant a tree for your mother, Tony, and let go of that anger you feel."

Despite having the feeling that it would take this turn after she'd started with the explanation of their presence in the greenhouse, her request still took him by surprise. The familiar wave of fear washed over him as the anger he'd been living with since his childhood desperately hold onto him like a shadow. It didn't want to leave, whispering to him to deny this 'generous' offer and leave.

His heart perceived it differently, though, urging him to listen to his girlfriend and do what she had said. It completely understood the honour he had been given to become part of this family tradition and find his own freedom from the poisonous feeling deep inside of him. It was a ticket no one had ever purchased for him and her being the first person ever to do so was crushingly overwhelming.

"I... I don't want to say." He stammered out while the raging battle in his mind kept going on, his eyes downcast to avoid the eye contact.

His hesitancy was expected so Ziva didn't show any sign of disappointment that he was tentative to accept her offer. That was why she'd planned everything in advance and presented him with a fait accompli, sparing them of the persuasion phase to go here and get down to do this. It was still his free choice, he could either say yes or no and she would be fine with both.

She'd promised to him that they would deal with his irrational anger towards his mother together and she intended to keep it. This was just a first option that had come up to her mind and the decision to go through with it was an easy one. Especially after she had consulted it with the person who was closest to Tony, at least genetically speaking. And Senior hadn't raised a single objection.

"I spoke to your father about it and he gave us his blessing." She assured him just in case he would wonder if Senior was okay with it. After all, the tree would be dedicated to his deceased and beloved wife and he was entitled to have a word in it.

He frowned in puzzlement and tried to remember when he'd heard from his father the last time but couldn't actually remember. "You spoke with my Dad?" He asked in a tone that expressed his disbelief over such an occasion to happen clearly, even though he didn't mean it.

"Yes, while you were in North Carolina looking for Luca with Abby." She replied nonchalantly and he chuckled when it hit him that she'd been setting this plan in motion for so long. "We discussed this lengthily over a very pleasant lunch and he helped me to pick the right tree."

She stood up confidently and took the young tree in the organic pot, showing it to him as if he was supposed to see it for the first time. "Eventually, we settled on hawthorn." She announced and considering what Senior had told her, she expectantly waited for his reaction.

A visible and loud gulp had been one of the first signs of his response to the information as he stared at the little tree in awe. His mother _loved_ hawthorn trees, one could even say that she was mildly obsessed with them. Despite the quite unpleasant smell, she always adored its blossom and lived for the bright red berries she often used as a decoration in their house during autumn.

One fleeting moment appeared in his memory, although it was vague and faded considering its age but he didn't mind the vintage feeling. He was roughly five-year old boy, sitting on a blue picnic blanket and watched as his mother approached him with a hawthorn sprig behind her ear, the red berries glaring through the cascade of her blonde hair. Suddenly, she started laugh merrily as her husband took her by her waist from behind, turned her to him and kissed her soundly.

With the sound of laughter he still remembered after all those years, he recalled all the legends and folk stories his mother used to tell him about hawthorn. Strongly, associated with Beltane, the tree is known as symbol of love and protection. Its essence also apparently helps the heart to cleanse itself of negativity and stimulates loves and forgiveness.

_Hawthorn,_

_white and odorous with blossom,_

_framing the quite fields,_

_and swaying flowers and grasses,_

_and the hum of bees. – F.S. Flint_

His favourite folklore stories were about hawthorn marking the entrance to the _Otherworld_.* His mother used to tell him fairytales about fairies living under the hawthorn tree as its guardians, protecting gateway to the magical realm and letting only the worth ones to enter. In his young years, it had made him both to fear and admire the tree as he desired to explore the realm but also believed that if he misbehaved, the fairies could kidnap him from his parents and never return him back.

He chuckled at his childhood naivety but continued smiling at the memories that flooded his mind unexpectedly. It spread pleasant warmth throughout his body despite the relatively low temperatures and viscerally, he knew that planting the tree as a symbolism of letting go of his anger and to enhance the final phase of the healing process was the right thing to do.

Looking up at Ziva who kept watching him with hardly concealed anticipation, he opened his mouth to say how much he appreciated this gesture as he felt honoured to become part of her family's tradition, to express his gratitude for having this idea which he found absolutely brilliant and to give her some insight into his emotions and the inner feeling of rightness to do this.

But no words came out because deep down he knew that nothing he would say would precisely describe what he needed to communicate. It could never be enough and he couldn't help the want to appropriately show how much he valued this opportunity. She could see his discomfort because he really desperately wanted to express what he was feeling but his silence could give her the wrong signals.

"You can just kiss me, you know." She encouraged him with an enchanting smile, facilitating for him the whole situation.

He jumped out of the bench quicker than she could even comprehend, finding herself in his arms while his hot, ardent mouth glued to hers in a searing kiss full of indescribable thankfulness. Words here really were superfluous because all she needed to know, she could recognize from a simple touch of his hand as he palmed her face to anchor her chin a little bit upward.

For a moment, they forgot where they stood as their fused mouths continued nibbling each other leisurely but then the need for the fresh air – and that this place had a plenty of it – prevailed and they parted. Tony leaned his forehead against hers and looked deeply into her eyes as he let his hands fall down her arms and around her waist to keep her closer to him.

"Thank you." He whispered hoarsely and she smiled right back at him, her hands caressing his cheeks for more comfort.

There was no need to speak more words than those two and she didn't even say anything in return. The silent, non-verbal communication of their eyes and touches was worth of a thousand words. Their souls were swirling around each other, mingling, as they tested the best way how to become one, creating sensational tingling between the couple.

Ziva then stepped away from him shyly and looked around herself with an embarrassed smile on her face because she realized how strange they had to appear to everyone around them. The greenhouse wasn't empty and they had to remember that. Tony only chuckled upon seeing her reddening face, reaching for the garden gloves on the bench and putting them on.

"Shall we start, then?" He reached out his hand towards her and she accepted it, ready to guide him through the planting.

He'd already been used to her erudition so it hadn't surprised him when she pulled out a printed step-by-step manual how to plant the tree. According to her instructions, he measured the height from top to the bottom and width from side to side of the organic pot in which the roots of the young tree were. It was significant for the deepness of the hole he was about to create in the larger pot where the tree was supposed to be planted.

It was still winter and she didn't want to wait for spring so she had arranged for him to plant the tree into a pot where it would nourish and grow in the meantime and when the spring came with its warm weather, they would choose some place in D.C. and plant the tree there with the help of the farm's employees. It could also remain planted here on the farm if Tony wished so.

She explained that to him while he was filling the larger pot with the soil with the help of a shovel, tamping it down to get rid of the excess air in the soil. When the pot was about 3/4 full, he dug a hole around twice wider and a little bit shallower than the organic pot. As the manual stated, the hole couldn't be too deep or the roots might not get enough water or air which were essential for growing.

With the end of the pointy end of the shovel, he broke up the surface of the soil in the bottom and sides of the hole as smooth hole wasn't good for the roots of the tree. Since the small pot was organic, it meant that it would eventually decompose in the soil so he didn't have to take care of that. Instead, he simply took the tree by the organic pot and put it inside the hole, making sure the tree stood upright in the centre and that it jutted out a little bit.

Then he started to put the soil back to the pot, carefully packing it down with a shovel with every layer he threw in back to the hole. One wouldn't say that it was actually quite exhausting and fiddly work, but he was soon sweating although it was the middle of a winter. However, it was only doing him good as he literally shed beads of sweat, keeping the soil dank and getting rid of the anger inside of him. Her words about 'physically working on his grief' were suddenly all so clear.

In the meantime, Ziva opened a bag of mulch and together, they spread quite a thick layer around the tree, filling in the large pot to its brim. Only a little circle around the trunk was left bare so it wouldn't attract pests that could cause decay of the tree. The substance of wood and bark chips helped the soil to remain its moist consistence and ensure a healthy growth of the tree.

Now, the only thing he had to do was to water the tree. He took a hose and adjusted the flow of the water so it wouldn't be too rapid, spraying the soil and the tree with the vitalizing water. He was careful enough so he wouldn't overwater it, just keeping the soil moist and avoiding dry and muddy result. He most certainly wanted the tree to grow, not to wither and dry.

The planted tree looked entirely pitifully with its naked thorny branches without a single leaf or a berry, thrust into the large pot, making it look even more miserable. But Tony didn't mind it whatsoever. In that very moment when he stepped back to assess the outcome of his manual work, the tree was the most beautiful thing – apart his girlfriend, of course – he had ever laid his eyes on.

The tree was supposed looked like it, after all, because it reflected his current state of mind. It was a tree he planted in the memory of his mother, to help himself to let go of that irrational anger he felt towards her for abandoning him and turning his childhood upside down because his irresponsible and grieving father couldn't have comprehended the needs of his child the way his mother used to.

But he knew that he needed to give it a couple of weeks and then the little buds would start appearing all over the tree, eventually opening up to become fully developed dark green leaves, contrasting to the brown bark. That was the life-giving power of nature during spring. As it would near its end, the delicate white flowers would start blooming, granting the tree more and more life – and a smelly fragrance but that was beside the point.

With the arrival of autumn, the corymbs of flowers would disappear and bright red berries would take their place, pleasing the eyes of people with the colour play of initial brown, green and red to the eventual brown, green, yellow, orange and red. In the end, the tree would lose all its leaves but the berries would remain, providing the nourishment in the harsh winter times to wild birds.

And the cycle of life would continue every single year because he planned to take care of the tree with the appropriate sanctity and seriousness. After his own life would come to an end, he most certainly hoped that the tree would be adult enough to make do without him and keep providing the comfort and beauty to the world as it was doing it with him at the very moment.

Sadie complemented him on his fine work as Ziva snuggled up at his side, the pride for him swelling inside her chest quietly. They were assured that tree now would be under thorough care of the farm workers and they could come any time to look at it if they wanted. And once the time to plant the tree somewhere in real nature came, they would discuss it. For now, they could look for the right place and obtain the necessary permission.

With that, they bid their goodbyes with a lot of thanks and headed back to the car, leaving the farm behind their backs in no time. Tony felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. It wasn't entirely gone but still, the burden suddenly felt way lighter. In a grateful gesture, he leaned over to kiss her on the cheek, making her to smile at him in return.

* * *

Ziva thanked the woman behind the market stall after she had received the change for all the vegetables she had bought and put it inside her shopping bag to the rest of her purchases. She and Tony had stopped by at the Dupont Circle Farm Market to buy some ingredients for their dinner cooking. After the session on New Year's Eve, Ziva decided that it was a really nice tradition they could adopt from his parents and start it anew with every Sunday. He hadn't raised a single objection.

It was her turn this weekend to be the 'chef' – yes, Tony had brought it to perfection and bought them identical chef's hats – and his wish was to prepare some meals from Middle Eastern cuisine. So, she picked tabbouleh** for a salad and Mujaddara*** as the main course. For that, she needed fresh vegetables, some herbs and other things and since they were passing by the market on their way home, they had taken the chance.

They split for a moment as she had instructed him to buy bulgur, lentils and rice, while she had taken care of parsley, mint, onion, tomatoes and lemons. Even though she hadn't planned to become a vegetarian, she welcomed the opportunity to have a meatless meal for a change as it could do them only good. Soon, she would become a full-time student which basically meant to grab the fastest available street food she could get because she had no time for some healthy cooking. Tony didn't have it any different.

Hanging the shopping bag around her forearm, she looked around herself, her eyes searching for her dear boyfriend. Instead the blood froze in her veins when she hadn't only heard but also seen two people approaching in her direction, making it impossible for her to avoid them. Although she had actually intended to meet with them, she hadn't gathered the courage as of yet, and instantly became anxiously nervous.

"But Dad," the red-haired teenage girl argued with the older silver-head man with a retreating bald forehead, a teasing smile on her lips, "that's absolutely beside the point, you know?"

"Em-" the man began with a weary sigh, ready to explain his point of view for an umpteenth time, but was interrupted by an excited squeal from his daughter as her eyes had found the Israeli woman.

"Ziva!" The teenage girl cried out, making a bunch of people to look at her in surprise but she didn't care about them as she blazed her way towards the woman of her interest who stood there with a frozen smile on her lips, not really sure how to act.

"Emily..." She could only manage to whisper when the red-haired girl came up to her and hugged her warmly, smiling up at her. If she hadn't been well-trained in the past, she would have already dropped the shopping bag in her hand in shock.

But there she was, the little girl whom she had remembered, in all her teenage beauty, resembling her mother more and more every day. And apparently, Emily Fornell also did have a lot from her personality because she could apparently command her father the way her mother did it the best. Ziva couldn't hold back the smile that melted on her face as she imagined Diane being proud of her daughter.

But that would never happen because Diane was dead as she had immediately realized. And she was dead because of what Ziva had once done but let Gibbs to take the blame instead. All the guilt she had felt suddenly came rushing back and her face twisted into a frown. She was ready to protest and start apologizing, offering some kind of sympathy that could never compensate what Emily and her father had to go through.

Before she could speak up, though, Emily took the initiative. "What are you doing here? I thought you were forever in Israel?! It's so cool to see you! Please, tell me that you're back, please!" She rapidly fired at Ziva, barely being able to curb her excitement as she let go of her and expectantly watched her, hoping that she would get her answers.

"Emily, let her breathe." Tobias Fornell scolded his offspring, finally reacting after he had shaken off the initial surprise upon seeing the Israeli woman in front of him in flesh. He couldn't help but wonder whether this was the 'surprising stuff' that had happened over the time while he had been away with Emily, enjoying Christmas vacation, that Gibbs had mentioned to him a couple of days ago during a phone call.

Emily grimaced funnily but stepped back to her father and put on an angelic expression. "Ziva, it's so nice to see you again." Tobias greeted the Israeli with a warm handshake, making the woman question whether he had known everything regarding his ex-wife's death and what was her role in it. Not that she expected open animosity but neither did she expect such a friendly approach.

"Likewise, Agent Fornell." She replied, conjuring up a warm smile on her face so it wouldn't sound so unsurely, sending the wrong signal. She was thrilled to see them both, it was just their reaction towards her that was startling.

For a moment, they just stood there in silence looking at each other hesitantly. There were too many questions hanging in the air and where to start was really a hard thing to determine. "Well, spill the beans!" Emily took charge of the conversation once more, shaking her head at the adult's reserve. "Are you back? What about NCIS? Does Tony know you are here?"

Before Ziva could open her mouth to answer, a voice behind her did it for her. "As a matter of fact, Emily, I do know she's here." Tony stepped in to the conversation with a self-satisfied smirk on his face.

"Tony!" Emily exclaimed with an excitement Ziva had never expected but when she saw those two in a friendly embrace with Fornell observing it with content smile, she smiled widely, as well.

"Hey, little tomboy!" Tony greeted the red-hair teenager he had grown to like so much over the past few months as she'd become a regular visitor of the bullpen since her mother's death, much to the chagrin of 'Uncle Gibbs' but they all had more fun with that than troubles. "How's it going?"

"I'm great! But you must help me to convince Dad to try dating again. And in person, not the online stuff he's been trying earlier." Emily responded with a conspiratorial wink. It had been a year since her mother had died, actually the first anniversary had marked just a couple of days ago. And although she knew that her father really loved her and they had wanted to make one family again, she was also too afraid that he would remain stuck in the past.

After all, she hadn't expected from him to fall in love with the first woman he would have a real date with. But it was a great opportunity for him to go out, care for himself and keep in shape instead of drowning himself in remorse, alcohol and let himself decay for eternity. Her father deserved more than that and she couldn't check upon him daily while she was at boarding school. He needed pretence for not feeling miserable and she saw innocent dating as one of those perfect ways how to achieve it.

"Emily!" Her father snapped at her in annoying tone as this topic was exactly the one they had been arguing about since the morning. It could have crossed his mind that she would ask DiNozzo for help.

Tony chuckled at the eye-roll Emily had done, letting go of her to draw himself nearer to Ziva. "Well, she's not wrong, Fornell." He argued with a smile and a teasing wink as he wrapped his arms around his girlfriend possessively and she leaned onto him, letting herself to be enveloped in his soothing warm she needed. "Having a woman by your side is quite... enriching."

Both Fornells stared at them wide-eyed, Tobias with slightly open mouth in awe while Emily muffled her squeal of joy by pressing both hands in front of her mouth. "Oh my God, don't tell me that you two are together!" She couldn't hold back her excitement for long, though, speaking up before she could sort out her thoughts. "That's like from a romantic movie!"

She immediately started to demand how come that things between them had taken such a course as the two lovebirds sent each other a meaningful look and sealed their love with an unobtrusive kiss. Fornell muttered something about finally getting what kind of changes had been happening while they were away, noting that he had never expected such a stunner.

Eventually, they ended up in a nearby Italian bistro, all of them ordering different kind of pasta. Tony went for ravioli stuffed with Swiss chard, ricotta and parmesan cheeses, poured over with butter sauce and arugula cream, Ziva ventured for maltagliati with salmon, zucchini, fresh ricotta and dill, Fornell stayed classic with tagliatelle alla Bolognese and Emily rebelled with fusilli poured over with marinara sauce, yellow tomatoes and cherry tomatoes confit, decorated with parmesan and basil.

The food was absolutely delicious and it was also thanks to the pleasant talk they all had. Tony didn't seem to be tired altogether by constantly recalling how the Fate had brought them together by coincidence in Prague, opening their eyes so they would realize how important they were for each other, eventually making them one of the happiest couple on the planet Earth at that moment.

When they had said everything they could have to explain their presence next to each other and answered all inquisitive Emily's questions, Ziva shuffled her feet and wriggled from her comfortable position. "And how are you two doing?" She asked shakily, her voice dripping from nervousness. She was still ready to face them and claim her responsibility for what had happened to their family, yet the jitters threw her off balance.

A flicker of pain ran across the faces of both Fornells, one they would never be able to get rid of because it would simply appear every time their minds wandered towards Diane. "I guess you've heard..." Tobias began for both but had to stop himself in the mid-sentence. The recent anniversary had made him to relive all of that again and he had troubles to speak about it in front of Emily.

"She has, I told her everything." Tony replied on that unfinished question, slipping a comforting hand on Ziva's lower back.

The Israeli took a sip from her juice and glanced at the father and daughter sitting opposite of her. "It is actually something I want to talk to you about." She gathered the courage, her voice sounding more confidently than earlier. It was better to deal with it right away than postpone it.

Emily, who quietly returned to her meal, impaled the fusilli pasta on her fork and bathed it in the marinara sauce before putting it into her mouth. "Why?" She asked timidly when her father didn't say anything and Ziva's anticipation of permission to touch upon the subject of her mother's death was more than apparent.

Tony squeezed Ziva's hand under the table and looked at Fornell to hint him not to interfere to anything his girlfriend wanted to say. Tobias nodded barely noticeably in return that he understood. He trusted Emily to handle this with grace and peace. The benefit of this whole terrible incident in their lives was that he understood his daughter more than average father should to his teenage offspring.

"Emily... The man who..." Ziva began, losing her thread in an instant, taking a deep breath to balance out her voice and thoughts for once more. "The man who killed your mother... He was half-brother of my half-brother Ari."

The words faltered by the end of the sentence as she realized how weirdly it had sounded, pondering whether to explain the complexity of her family ties but Emily's assuring and supportive smile, albeit somewhat pried into her face, told her that she had the notion. It would serve no purpose, then, to tell her that she hadn't ever met the man and had no idea about his existence. Emily had probably known already.

"He was taking revenge for Ari's death on someone who didn't end Ari's life. Because I did. Gibbs only took the fall." She revealed through the constricted throat, hastily taking a swing from her glass because she needed her throat free if she was supposed to talk normally. "That means that your mother died because of something I did. But I am here to claim my responsibility and face any punishment according to your will."

Emily squinted her eyes at her to ponder her reply and then looked over at her father to gain his silent support. He smiled at her and slightly nodded to encourage her as Emily returned to her meal, putting the fork down eventually. "Well, it's nothing new to me. Uncle Gibbs told me all about it already." She answered carefully, trying not to sound arrogantly.

After a very long time, Ziva felt a wave of gratefulness towards Gibbs for taking his time to explain Emily the truth and not hiding it from her because honestly, she hadn't expected it. She still felt guilt for what had happened but to accept her punishment was certainly easier now, when she was sure that Emily understood the entire context in this regrettable story.

"He also told me something I completely identify with. That man who killed my mother was primarily a filthy criminal and a merciless murderer." Emily added with noticeable hateful disdain in her voice, her knuckles turning white in anger as she gripped the edge of the table. "He was using his quest for revenge as a pretext for killing innocent people and getting some kind of twisted satisfaction out of it."

Fornell hastily put his hand on his daughter's back to soother her agitation. The tone of the teenager's voice had shaken with him, realizing how deeply Emily had been affected by the unfortunate death of the woman who gave birth to her. It shouldn't surprise him considering the extent of his own grief and yet, it did, making him to question whether his daughter would ever be cured from the harm she had suffered.

"If he hadn't had this false pretext, he would have found a reason to kill anyway." The red-haired girl toned down her sharp tongue a little bit as she looked in Ziva's pale face. "If it wasn't my mum, it would be someone else. Maybe even my Dad. Or you, if he knew the truth."

Ziva didn't bat an eyelash as the words were spoken, squeezing Tony's hand when she heard his sharp intake of breath with the last sentence. It had been one of those things he had dreaded back then – that Mishnev would find out the truth and targeted Ziva instead. His fear had been short-lived as the Russian mercenary had died almost right after they had discovered his family ties. But the more he was aware of the possibility it could have happened because they had known nothing of it.

Emily sat back, folding her arms protectively around herself to shield herself against the unpleasant memories. "So... Do I want my mum to be alive? Yes, of course! She's my mum." She evaluated further on the possible different take on the events in which her mother would be still here with her. "But do I want you to be dead instead? Hell no. I don't want to buy my mum's life back by getting someone else killed, let alone you."

There had been a brief moment when she had toyed with the idea to hate the Israeli woman for the misfortune that had been inflicted on her family after she had learnt the truth about Mishnev's motives and fate of his half-brother. Uncle Gibbs hadn't allowed her to do so, though, clarifying the entire story from the very beginning to her until she had comprehended that Ziva was nothing but an innocent victim of the whole situation and she couldn't hold her responsible for any of it.

The woman in front of her was apparently deeply moved thanks to her words, struggling to say something in return according to the trembling lips. She solved the situation simply by standing up and walking over to her, sitting next to her on the tiny vacant place on the bench and putting her arms around her. "I don't blame you for anything, Ziva. I'm just glad you're back." She whispered quietly for Ziva's ears only, although the two men sitting at the table heard that, too.

Tony, noticing the movement on the other side of the table that made him snapped out of his pleasant reverie, looked over at Fornell who had just finished wiping the tear off his face. With a simple and expressive gesture, he warned Tony to keep quiet about it in front of everyone or he would be beheaded at best and Tony indicated that his mouth would be sealed forever.

After all, even he felt moved by the scene that had just played before his eyes. He wasn't just proud of Ziva who had handled the situation better than he had expected, getting the proof of her growing up once again, but also of Emily who was the bravest teenager he had ever come across. He admired her for her strength and the way she dealt with her mother's death. And maybe one day, he would show her how to honour the memory in the same fashion Ziva had shown to him that day.

_**The End of Chapter 34** _

* * *

**Otherworld – a mythological realm of various deities and supernatural beings like fairies, dead people, heroes, gods, spirits etc., depending on the folklore's concept (Celtic, Slavic, Greek, Germanic, Persian and so on). The realms usually have some sort of specific entrance or gate.

** Tabbouleh – vegetarian salad made out of parsley, tomatoes, mint, onion, soaked bulgur and seasoned with olive oil, lemon juice, salt and pepper.

*** Mujaddara – cooked lentils with rice and topped by caramelized onions, a meal typical for Iraq, Lebanon, Palestine, Syria, Jordan and Israel.


	35. Chapter 35

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 35** _

" _Grab your gear."_

It was a sentence Tony had heard for years and during the occasional moments when he had been the leader himself, he'd always used it, too. It had become routine and he had said the same three words even during his first two weeks of leadership. It was a magical formula that made everyone snap to, stop joking and get down to the serious business of investigating crimes.

But the more Tony thought about it, he realized that many people associated the sentence with one man only – Gibbs. That vigour in the silver fox's voice had always added the appropriate level of seriousness. One could say that it had been his trademark. And anyone else saying it would be compared to him in every aspect – not just the tone of the voice but also the emphasis and nonchalance.

No, Special Agent Antony DiNozzo, the soon-to-be team leader, didn't want to be constantly confronted with the customs of his soon-to-be ex-boss. He wanted to be his own leader with his own set of rules, his own habits, sayings, gestures and all that. However, he prided himself for being one of the Gibbs's closest apprentices but that didn't mean that he wanted to become his exact copy.

And although the image of inspiring himself with some of the most famous investigators from movies or TV shows was certainly appealing – like wearing a beige raincoat, smoking a cigar and talking about his ever-so-invisible wife or gathering everyone involved in the crime to reveal all their personal and family secrets before finally unveiling the culprit(*1) – he truly desired to be an original. Or not maybe an original but simply someone whose code of conduct wouldn't scream that he had evidently copied it somewhere else.

Such thoughts were running through his mind as he headed to the bullpen towards the team to instruct them what to do in their newest case. He had just received a call about a Commander who was supposed to board the submarine he commanded in a week, but was apprehended for trespassing a military facility in which he had no authorization to go to. And other circumstances of the case were also very weird.

Bishop heard him approaching and looked up at him with no particular interest, absent-mindedly continuing in her paperwork. Normally, she would tear her eyes away from him and turn them down to the form she was filling, but something in his stride and body posture suggested that the day was about to get more interesting than mundane office work. There were times when she had wanted nothing else but since she had become the part of NCIS, she revelled in field work that often included a lot of action.

Her eyes had already hung on him hungrily when he came to a halt at the beginning of the gap between his and her desk. McGee didn't have to be told twice to pay attention to him, either, because his friend's pondering attitude as he clenched the cell phone in his hand, propping up his chin and pensively staring in front of himself with blank expression was enough for him to know that something was amiss. He immediately ceased his work on the program he was developing for cyber security of the agency and lifted his eyes to Tony in anticipation.

"Okay, team! We've got a new case." Tony shouted to gain his team's attention although it wasn't needed since even Gibbs was looking at him with unfeigned interest. He couldn't help but wonder if the silver-haired man felt similar odd tingling all over his body when he had started to lead a team in his own fashion.

But as soon as he had started to describe the details of the case, he felt more confident. It wasn't any hard to tell them the name of the Commander, in which facility he was currently being held and what he was suspected of committing. He pointed out the need to deal with this thing as soon as they could and either prove the Commander guilty of the crimes or clear him of all charges because the Navy still hadn't pulled out its order and the submarine he was commanding was taking off in a week.

"Gibbs, McGee – I want you to go that facility and bring him in here for questioning." He looked at his boss and his best friend. "And get Abby to run dope tests on him."

"Drugs?" Tim asked, intrigued by the turn this case was getting. _The Commander was high? Or did someone drug him?_

Tony nodded in affirmation while Gibbs stood up from his desk and snatched the car keys from McGee. "He claims that he has no recollection of how he got there. The last thing he remembers was sitting on the couch at his home." He explained quickly before turning to Ellie.

"Bishop, you're going with me to check on his house and talk to his neighbours if anyone saw anything." He told her, pleased when she listened to him intently and immediately grabbed her backpack without directly being told to do so.

He held her enthusiasm up a little longer, though, so while Gibbs and McGee promptly left to pick up the Commander and transfer him to NCIS, they waited for the court to issue the search warrant. Even though the man agreed with the house search and gave his permission for the agents to proceed, Tony rather wanted the court to give him the blessings.

Legal doges were starting to pique his curiosity as he realized that he would be soon responsible for it and he had no doubt that every advocate would opposed to every single step he had done during investigation without a proper legal safeguard. And if the suspicion about drugs was proven as the right one, the permission to search Commander's house could be taken as invalid.

He rather didn't want to risk becoming a failure afterwards and rather waste some more minutes by waiting than rushing the whole thing and pay for his impatience. Fortunately, the court had felt the same pressure from Navy as he had, so the search warrant was issued in record time, taking into consideration the Commander's willingness to cooperate to sort this thing out.

When they arrived to the Commander's house, they found out that the place was a mess. Distinct signs of a struggle that had taken place there were visible literally everywhere. Overturned couch, disarranged decorative trinkets, broken chair and table, remnants of food on the walls and quite large bloodstains had taken care of enough fun for both of them to process the scene of the fight.

Neighbours stated that they had seen an unfamiliar SUV parking a couple of metres from the Commander's house and some odd sounds coming out of there but they didn't consider it as something unusual. According to their statements, the Commander usually had various visits at his home while being off duty, supposedly drinking with his comrades and they had gotten used to it.

The woman who lived across the street even said that nothing had been out of the ordinary and they hadn't seen anything suspicious. She thought she had seen the Commander getting into an unfamiliar car with someone – well, more one of them dragging the other – but she wasn't entirely sure as it had been really dark and she hadn't been exactly sitting all night by the window, spying on her neighbours.

Tony and Bishop had gathered as much evidence as they could and dropped off everything at NCIS, specifically stressing the need to get the blood tested to ascertain whose blood it was. Abby had prioritized it immediately and told them the results of the drug tests – the Commander was intoxicated by Rohypnol(*2) according to her opinion. All his symptoms were typical for this psychotropic substance.

The military facility personnel had stated that he had been disoriented and seemed confused, his claim about having no recollection of the last few hours proved anterograde amnesia, the Commander had even vomited a couple of times since had been arrested and the list of the symptoms was only getting longer. Luckily, it looked as if the drug was in the last state of wearing off but Tony had decided to give him some more time to pull himself together.

* * *

While McGee worked on tracing the steps of the Commander for the past forty-eight hours, Tony took the responsibility to interrogate him. At first, he wanted to leave this honour to Gibbs but the man could be quite intimidating at times and since there were vibes telling that the Commander was more or less a victim than a culprit, he preferred to tread a fine line. Instead, he sent Gibbs to interview his crew to get to know him more by different sets of eyes.

Actually delighted that he could interrogate someone without being critically judged by his boss with only Bishop as his backup in the second room behind the one-way mirror, he waltzed into the interrogation room and assumed his position on the other side of the table, opposite the visibly shaken and pale Commander. Bishop entered a second after him to put a file on the desk and then left promptly to leave them alone.

Tony flipped the file open in a way so the Commander couldn't see a single thing, just to see his reaction. "Tell me your name." He asked the man in front of him politely.

"Commander Samuel Michaels, USS John Warner, sir." The man answered in a trained fashion, stopping his hand in the mid-air when he realized that there was no reason for him to salute. "Yours?"

Tony couldn't hold back the smile that appeared on his face. Despite being the one in the custody and not feeling very well, the Commander still kept his commanding demeanour. "Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, NCIS." He replied calmly, flipping through the photos he had taken with Bishop in the Michaels' house earlier with interest. "I'm the leading investigator in your case."

Michaels nodded both in acknowledgment and greetings. "Pleased to meet you, sir. You can be assured that my cooperation is guaranteed." He said, taking a sip from the glass of water he had been given to wash down a headache pill. "I plead guilty for anything I'm suspected of if it makes things any easier for your investigation."

Tony chuckled in response and closed the file after he sorted the photos in the order he wanted to show them to Michaels. "That's very kind of you, but the thing is..." he put his hands on the table, spreading his palms against the cold surface calmly, "if you plead guilty, you'll be charged and most likely sentenced by the court. And in that case, you will no longer command USS John Warner, Commander."

The other man looked at him quizzically but immediately understood the words between the lines of the words that had just been spoken. Whether it was political or military pressure that the leading investigator stood against, someone wanted him to command his submarine and be cleared of all charges, instead of being convicted and stripped of his rank.

He knew about the plans for his crew enough to comprehend such an insistence from the "people in high places". His job was very important and he was entrusted with a certain mission. If he couldn't board the submarine in a week, someone else would have to take his place but since he was the only one who knew about this plan, they would have to delay the mission. And that was unacceptable.

"What do you want me to do, then?" He asked Tony in a pleading tone. He was still utterly confused because of what had happened to him and would rather go home to just sleep for a few days. But aside the mission, he had also his own reasons to be on the submarine and suddenly his desire to plead guilty felt very ridiculous to him.

Tony sat back to make himself more comfortable, crossing his arms over his chest. "For starters, tell me everything you remember. If anything at all." He invited him solemnly, ready to know more if it was even possible.

"Like I already told your fellow agents, I remember sitting at home on the couch and watching TV. I don't remember the time, I just know it was evening." Michaels shrugged sadly, his memories blurry and fuzzy no matter how hard he tried to pull them back to the light and actually _recall_ what the hell had been going on last night. "Next thing I remember is a soldier pushing me to the ground, yelling at me not to move."

Tony nodded in acknowledgment, not pressing further and rather focusing on the long-term memory that shouldn't be affected by the substance he was drugged with. "Do you know the military facility you trespassed?" He asked curiously.

"I know it does exist, sir. But nothing more." Michaels answered truthfully. The facility wasn't far away from his home but he had only vague idea of its existence. "I have never been there and I don't know its purpose."

"Do you know anyone who works there or anyone who might have a connection to the facility?" Tony asked another question after acknowledging the previous answer with a nod. He didn't make any notes so far, it was useless.

"No one as far as I am aware, sir." Commander replied mechanically but sincerely.

Tony flipped the file open again and took the photos in his hands. "Would you say that you have enemies who would want to hurt you?" He went on in the questioning as he thoroughly laid out the photos in front of the shocked Commander who started wide-eyed at the havoc in his living room.

"Your place is quite a mess. You obviously fought with someone last night which explains the grazes on your hands." He continued while Michaels wandered across the photos, looking for details that would help him to remember.

Tony tapped his forefinger against a couple of photos in the line. "We also found some large bloodstains but since you have only a couple of scraps, it's your opponent who must be injured." He noted, hinting that the blood loss had been too great for someone with such minor scratches at the ones Commander had suffered.

Michaels took the photos with the bloodstains to his hands to look at them closer as if they could hold the key to his memory but nothing happened. "Your neighbours stated that a SUV parked nearby your house and you were seen with someone going to the car." Tony continued but the Commander looked more and more confused and frustrated that he couldn't recall any of that happening.

"Wha-..." He croaked and a sudden memory pierced through his mind like a bolt, making him to grimace as if he was in a lot of pain. "I... I think I heard a doorbell and went to open the door. But then... everything else is just a blur."

"It's okay, Commander." Tony calmed him down because an apparent anxiety attack was about to take over Michaels due to the load of information. "You were drugged most likely by Rohypnol which causes amnesia in a sufficient dose. We don't actually expect you to remember what had happened at all."

Michaels pale skin turned even paler and it was obvious that he tried to get control over his innards because he felt like vomiting again. Tony pushed the glass of water towards him, not wondering about the reaction the man in front of him had. What had happened to him was a great intervention to his personal freedom and body, anyone would feel sick in his case.

"I was drugged?" Michaels spat out angrily after he gulped down the water and managed to calm his stomach down for a while. It made sense to him now why he had felt so terrible, disoriented and repulsive even to himself. There were times when he wished for fantasy and sci-fi universes to be real so he could use Pensieve(*3) or the Force(*4) to show him who was the bastard responsible for this hell he was going through.

"Why would anyone do that?" He wondered aloud as the wave of sickness washed over him and subdued the initial anger. "Because to answer your question – I don't have any enemies. I'm not friends with everyone but to call them enemies is a little bit too much."

Tony nodded, gathered the photos back up in his hand and put them in the file. "Considering the convenient timing, my personal tip is that it has something to do with your job." He suggested mildly, wanting to get the Commander back under relative control by forcing him to think and figure things out on his own.

And Michaels really furrowed his eyebrows contemplatively, biting his bottom lip. "Do you think that someone wants to prevent me from boarding my submarine?" He eventually questioned, sending a pensive look towards Tony.

"It's very likely, although we work with other versions, of course." Tony confirmed, subtly trying to obtain the information about Commander's covert mission.

He knew that Michaels had been assigned for a covert mission and that was why it was so pivotal to solve this case. If he couldn't board the USS John Warner, the whole mission would have to be called off and the senior officers didn't want to see that happen. Problem was that no one had wanted to share the information with him as a leading investigator, telling him to check everything first and if it would be proven that he couldn't continue without the information, it would be revealed to him.

The Commander stayed silent, though, being trained for long enough to know that he should keep his mouth shut. They would have revealed the information about the covert mission to NCIS if they had had any suspicion that his case had been connected to it and so this DiNozzo wouldn't have had to ask him about it. And so, he only returned the look to the agent and didn't say a word.

"It also depends whether the choice of a military facility where you were dumped was an accidental or an intentional one." Tony went on when he realized that Michaels wouldn't reveal anything to him. His curiosity could go crazy from that but he had to admit that so far, he didn't have any concrete reason to know the details of the covert mission. "If it was an intentional, then it was poorly executed and it might change the direction of investigation. Accidental choice fits more to the version we work with at the moment."

Michaels nodded thoughtfully in acknowledgment. NCIS thought that someone had come to his house, they had fought, his opponent had gotten injured while he had been drugged and then was dumped at the nearest military facility to get arrested for trespassing. Like that, at least a cloud of suspicion would envelope him and probably his call-up papers would be withdrawn until everything was clarified. Either way, the submarine would sail away without him and his covert mission would be thwarted. And still could if the case wouldn't be closed soon.

"I have no idea who to name, sir." He said apologetically, feeling all levels of anger as he couldn't figure out who could be behind this. "I'm sorry."

Tony pushed his chair away and stood up, taking the file to his hands. "No worries, Commander. We'll crack this. One way or another." He bid him a temporary goodbye and went to consult together with his team what their next steps would be.

* * *

When he came back to the bullpen, he saw McGee typing something furiously on his keyboard, completely engrossed in whatever he was doing, while Bishop put down the receiver with a deep and sad sigh. The moment they registered him, though, they both jumped out of their seats and gathered in front of the screen they used to break down the facts of the case as they were trained.

"Should we wait for Gibbs?" Ellie asked him as he went by her towards his desk to check on the messages for him while he had been in the interrogation room. The current SFA hadn't returned from his errands, yet, and his information could be pivotal.

"No, tell me what you've discovered, especially if it's something new." Tony replied, throwing away the notes from the senior officers and one from SECNAV herself that were full of reminders to hurry up and solve this case. Ridiculous, if you asked him – they hadn't been working on it even twenty-four hours and the Navy had already pushed their buttons.

McGee seized the word and informed him about what they had known about the past forty-eight hours of the Commander's life. It was nothing out of the ordinary, not a single clue as to who the person that had drugged and dumped Michaels had been. Tim had just been trying to obtain shots from public CCTV so they could get more information about the SUV and find the owner to interrogate him.

Ellie hadn't been any more successful. With the realization that there had been a fight between Michaels and the other person that had come to his house, causing an injury to Michaels' opponent, she had ventured on calling around hospitals to find out if they had accepted someone with a brawl-like injury, preferably a member of Navy or other armed forces. Even though the personnel of the hospitals had been kind and cooperative, she hadn't found anything concrete. There had been at least a dozen similar cases and it took a lot of time to check up on each.

"Interviewed his closest shipmates." Gibbs said into the frustrated silence that had ensued after Bishop had told her part. They all turned around as the silver-haired man approached them with his usual cup of coffee in hands. "You should check out Lieutenant Roy Camden."

Tony nodded at McGee, although it was hardly needed because Tim was trained to pick up the hints quite quickly and search the information without a direct order. In a second, he was sitting in his chair again, his agile fingers flying across the keyboard with the lightness of a professional writer. Ellie remained where she stood and just watched the screen eagerly to display the information.

"What so special about him?" Tony turned to Gibbs in the meantime, hungry for any kind of fresh clues.

The usual team leader shrugged off his coat and sat behind this desk leisurely. "Supposedly Michaels' best friend." He replied and took the last sip of the coffee before throwing the empty cup into a trash bin. "However, I can't get a hold of him. He's not at his home, he's not picking up his phone and no one has seen him for the past two days."

The younger man and current team leader pensively crossed his arms across his chest and furrowed his eyebrows. If there had been any problem between the Commander and his best friend, he would have told him for sure. Michaels seemed genuine during the questioning and even Tony's gut was telling him to believe the words he had been told. And the option that Michaels was protecting Camden didn't seem as a possible one.

He also couldn't condemn Camden right away, he could be a potential victim, as well. Maybe his disappearance could mean that someone was targeting the whole crew, getting rid of all of them or at least the key people to thwart the submarine's plans altogether. Such a fact would be quite unsettling as it would mean that Commander's covert mission was compromised.

"So, Lieutenant Roy Camden," McGee jumped out of his seat, snapping Tony out of his inner analytical thoughts as the photo and other date of the Navy officer appeared on the screen. "He's..."

He didn't have a chance to say anything more as a tall brunette entered the bullpen in her Navy Captain's uniform, her hat in her hands as she unsurely and nervously played with it. "Excuse me, can I speak with someone in charge here?" She asked almost timidly, looking from one agent to the other until her gaze settled on Gibbs who seemed to be in the senior position.

"Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo," Tony hurried over to her with a stretched out hand, quickly scanning the shoulder marks on her uniform to assess her rank, "pleased to meet you, Captain."

She saluted, although wearily and the colour of her eyes showed that she hadn't slept much for the most of the night. "Captain Melissa Riker, pleased to meet you, too, agent DiNozzo." She greeted him back and nodded at the rest of the team, her eyes lingering on the Camden's photo on the screen for a longer time than it was appropriate. "I'm here because of Commander Samuel Michaels, sir."

"Are you his immediate superior, Captain?" Tony tilted his head on the side in curiosity, something in the look of the woman in front of him revealing the profound care she nurtured for the poor Commander.

She chuckled to demonstrate her disagreement, lowering his head before she shook it vehemently. "Not exactly, sir." She replied and shifted on her feet uneasily. "Can we talk somewhere in private?"

He gestured in the direction of the conference room for the visitors. "Of course. It's this way." He invited her and she thanked him with a nod, heading that way immediately.

Tony went straight after her, turning around towards his team for one last time. "Keep going and find Camden." He ordered urgently, not waiting for their nod of understanding as he turned back around and disappeared quickly around the corner.

Opening the door for the Captain, he slipped into the conference room behind her and closed the door quietly, offering her the seat and taking the one opposite her. She refused his offer for a cup of water with a dismissive wave of her hand as she put the hat on the seat next to her, expectantly looking up at him whether she could start talking or not.

"What did you want to talk about?" He asked her politely, pulling out a notebook with a pen to make any necessary notes.

Miss Riker sighed deeply – or at least he guessed she was a Miss as he hadn't seen any trace of a wedding band on her finger – in attempt to calm her breathing. Originally, she had planned to visit Michaels, gather information and help the NCIS team with the investigation as her duty had dictated but since she had witnessed Camden's face on the screen and overheard that he was missing, she couldn't help but believe she knew who had caused Michaels' troubles.

"Can I speak off the record, Agent DiNozzo?" She asked him carefully, knowing that her plea was ridiculous in a way but she needed to be sure that her secret would remain as such until the deployment of the submarine next week.

Tony put down the pen and smiled at her calmly. "You know very well that whatever you say that will shed some light into the investigation will be revealed sooner or later." He warned her matter-of-factly. "So for now, you can speak off the record but I can't make any promises that you won't face any consequences in the future."

She nodded in acknowledgment and sat back, pensively staring in front of her as she weighed her options. The need to fulfil her duty, no matter how her actions would be judged was stronger eventually. "I've gotten involved with Commander Michaels. I'm in love with him." She said after a moment of silence and Tony understood quite quickly why she had requested to speak off the record.

Rules of fraternization. He hated the words so much, for him specified in the infamous Rule 12 that he thoroughly understood what it was for but still, he hated it with passion. But unlike NCIS that didn't have any strict rules for it, unless you were a part of Team Gibbs, the Navy had enforced a sterner policy of no fraternization among the crew. If the case had anything to do with the relationship Captain and Commander had, then they could be in hell of a trouble.

Riker took a deep breath and proceeded to add some more details that were necessary for explaining the suspicion she had formed. She assured Tony that the way towards her relationship with Michaels had been a thorny one, both denying their feelings for each other because of the fraternization policy in the Navy and she really couldn't find any quicker person to understand than the agent in front of her.

Eventually, their feelings had gotten better of them by the end of their last mission on the submarine, being so close to each other in the enclosed space. Both aware of what it could do their precious careers, though, they had controlled themselves enough to start their relationship for real once they had hit the mainland and their mission had been officially terminated.

She had been promoted to Captain shortly afterwards and her assignment had been changed so they weren't really breaking any fraternization rules anymore. No more obstacles had been in the way of officialising their relationship in front of their friends. And that was when Camden was introduced into the story she had been narrating for the past few minutes.

Apparently, she had 'dated' Camden for a couple of weeks in the past, or more or less their dates had always revolved around sex, at least that was what she had been thinking. She had broke it off a few days before her last mission on the USS John Warner as they had been both named as the crew members and she had respected the fraternization rules.

She hadn't known that Michaels had also been enlisted, feeling all levels of embarrassment immediately because she had initially chosen Camden for sexual activities to get a small revenge on Michaels for being unable to express his feelings. That had eventually changed and things had just happened as she said earlier with Michaels forgiving her for her little affair with his best friend.

However, Camden didn't want to understand that their break-up had been real and serious. He had kept begging her for attention, following her every single step. He had stopped after he had caught her and Michaels kissing on the submarine one day and she had taken it as a sign that he had reconciled with the whole situation, deciding to forget about his feelings and start anew.

Michaels had no idea that Camden had seen them, as well as he had zero notion about the feelings his best friend had for Riker. Once he had learnt about their affair, he had talked to him about it to be sure that his best friend had been okay with his relationship with the Captain and Camden had even wished him luck. Everything had seemed absolutely fine. Until last night.

"So, if I understand it correctly... You suspect Camden of drugging your boyfriend and dropping him nearby military facility to get a revenge for stealing his girlfriend?" Tony assessed carefully, trying to make sense out of this love triangle within one submarine crew.

She shrugged her shoulders and sighed for once more. "Actually, I suspect that he wanted to taint Sam's reputation to get his call up papers cancelled. Like that, he would have me all by himself for a few weeks and created a distance between me and Sam." She replied thoughtfully, chewing her bottom lip.

Tony furrowed his eyebrows contemplatively and she had noticed it, hurrying with an explanation to clear up his confusion. "You see, my new assignment has been postponed for a while as I've received the call-up papers for USS John Warner last week." She clarified and Tony hummed in understanding. "Apparently no one in the Navy knows about our relationship because they want me to help Sam with his covert mission. I'm returning back once the submarine makes the first stop, though."

The agent nodded and folded his arms across his chest, running his tongue across his teeth in a pensive manner. "Alright... I have to admit that I don't like wild goose chases and you're most certainly aware on the pressure I'm under to solve this case ASAP." He stated, looking fixedly at the woman in front of him. "Are you really sure that Camden is our man?"

"It fits his behaviour, Agent DiNozzo. And I know Sam long enough to guarantee that he doesn't have any enemies who would want to hurt him like that." She stood up for her suspicion vehemently. "I know it sounds crazy but Roy had a motive and he's infamous for his rash reactions at times."

Tony lifted up his eyebrows in curiosity. "Does Lieutenant have any past we should know about?" He questioned her choice of words about Camden's 'rash reactions'.

"Roy isn't a violent person, believe me. He wouldn't intentionally hurt a fly." Riker immediately assured him, guessing very well the question between the lines of the agent's question. "He just sometimes goes overboard with things. He's very passionate about reaching his goal and behaves too impulsively. Simply, when he sees an opportunity, he goes and seizes it. He doesn't think ahead or about the consequences."

Tony took the pen and wrote down the notes about Camden's personality, seeing it as crucial for the further investigation so he could prepare in advance. The love triangle had been a little disappointment in the comparison with the covert mission being thwarted by some unknown culprit but then again, he hated spy games in real life and love triangles had usually been easier to solve.

"Despite all of that, he's not a bad man. He didn't tell anybody about me and Sam, although he saw us." She went on in her speech about the Lieutenant in the meantime. "If he was that vindictive, he could have already destroyed us. I just think that when he heard about me joining the crew, he saw his chance to 'steal' me back and didn't think it about it any further."

Nodding, Tony contemplated whether Camden might have thought that those two had broken up since they had been assigned to the same crew again, despite their official relationship. It would definitely explain why he could have thought that he might have any chances with Miss Riker. The only thing that was kind of out of the ordinary was the usage of Rohypnol as it signed that the whole thing had been planned and not entirely impulsive.

"So, you agree with my suspicion that someone tries to prevent Commander Michaels from boarding USS John Warner?" He asked her and she nodded in agreement without hesitation. "Are you sure, then, that it's about your little love triangle and not about the covert mission Commander has been assigned to carry out?"

The Captain looked at the agent across the table with a scanning look, detecting his interest in the covert mission quite easily. "Roy isn't in the know of the mission, Agent DiNozzo. And even if he was, he would never jeopardize his career for a personal matter like that." She replied steadily, although her posture had revealed her tension well enough.

"He just did that." Tony countered, leaning towards the Captain. He hadn't had an intention to press the woman into some confession, he just needed to be sure that the direction of the investigation was the right one. He couldn't waste time.

"Because he has no idea about the mission!" She exclaimed in return, throwing her hands in the air. "Look, I'm certain that if Roy did this to Sam, he just wanted to stall him from boarding the submarine. He knows his achievements, his record... He knew that Sam's reputation would be tainted just temporary and he would come out of it with a clean shield."

Tony sat back and crossed his arms, furrowing his eyebrows contemplatively. She had defended Camden way too much for his liking while trying to throw him under the bus in the same time, but there was nothing concrete to build a suspicion on. This whole situation had just seemed as a typical example of a love triangle with certain oddities. Definitely not an earth-shattering case for his career as he had first imagined when he'd gotten the call but maybe, it was better if his results spoke for themselves. After all, if this direction in investigation proved to be the right one, he could crack the case in a lighting speed.

"Well... Let's say I believe you and we will pursue your suggestion as the main objective of the investigation." He drawled slowly, teasing the tip of his tongue as he grazed it across his teeth. "Since he mysteriously disappeared, we have to find and interrogate Camden, anyway."

He put his hands on the table and leaned towards Riker conspiratorially. "Do you know where he might be if not at his home?" He asked her and watched the imaginary wheels in the back of her head turning.

To clarify the urgency to obtain such information, he outlined to her the presumable timeline of events from the last night, mentioning the fight in Michaels' home, unfamiliar SUV in the Commander's neighbourhood, blood stains and all that. If Camden wasn't at home and so far, he hadn't received any news about his whereabouts while being sure that the team had already called around the hospitals, he had to have some other place to go.

"I think his sister or cousin is a nurse." Riker replied after a couple of moments of thinking, biting her bottom lip. "I don't know how close they are, though, to know for sure that she would stitch him up without questions."

Tony nodded and wrote down the notes about this person. "Do you know her address or where she works?" He inquired further, ignoring the buzz of his phone in his pocket as much as he could.

"I don't, sorry. But Sam should know." She suggested, smiling as she was glad that she could help. However, the smile was bitter considering what had awaited her former lover. Despite being in love with Michaels, she still liked Camden and took him as her friend.

The special agent jumped out of his seat, not wanting to waste any second and quickly bid goodbye to the Captain with many thanks and assurance they would treat Camden lightly. He saw her out to the elevator and then swiftly dashed through the bullpen towards the interrogation room to ask Michaels about Camden's relative, his team just shrugging their shoulders at his excited agitation.

The Commander shared with him all important things for the investigation about Camden's sister, although Tony refused to tell him the exact reason why he needed to know such a thing. He only told him that Lieutenant was missing and they needed to find him to check a couple of details. Michaels' willingness to cooperate prevailed above everything and soon, Tony had the address and other interesting information.

Camden hadn't always been on good terms with his sister, hardly tolerating her marriage to a person he despised. However, her husband had died last year under unfortunate circumstances and Camden had stood in as a perfect brother, helping the family as much as he could, supporting the widow and his nephew both financially and mentally.

From what Michaels knew, the teenage nephew had started to rebel against authorities in his life, partially to cover his grief and started to meet with a group of misfits from his school. It had been Camden who had given him a good talking to, confiscating a packet of some dubious pills, warning him and lecturing him on the drug abuse and how it was always the way to Hell instead of Heaven as some people thought.

This part had attracted Tony's attention because it could explain where Lieutenant had acquired Rohypnol. He still didn't know what to honestly think about Camden. That man seemed to be a casual, hard-working and nice man but on the other hand, drugging his best friend and dumping him at the military facility to get him arrested for trespassing and cast a shadow of a doubt on him, just to prevent him from boarding a submarine certainly didn't fall into the group of normal behaviour. And all of that just for a woman.

After he familiarized the team with the investigation theory and potential Camden's whereabouts, they all got in the cars and set out their way towards Lieutenant sister's house. Tony drove confidently through the streets because the neighbourhood was nearby his apartment and he couldn't even count the times he passed by the area on his way home.

A similar SUV that was described by the witnesses was parked nearby the house where the NCIS team was heading. McGee didn't wait for any orders and once Tony slowed down enough, he got off and ran towards it to check the license plate number. The other agent calmly finished parking the car with Gibbs and Bishop doing the same right behind him. The neighbourhood was immersed into a common busy afternoon and nothing testified about anything out of ordinary.

"The plate matches." McGee announced as he ran back towards them. He had been able to get some good shots to get the license plate number with Abby's help and unsurprisingly, it was registered on Lieutenant's name.

Tony nodded and pulled out his gun contemplatively. He gestured towards Gibbs and Bishop to take the front door while he and McGee took a position on the sides to have a view on the back door. Due to a fence around the house, they couldn't directly guard it but they were both ready to do so if they heard or saw anything that would give them the pretext to trespass the private property.

"Mrs. Parker, this is NCIS! Please, open up!" Gibbs introduced them as he knocked politely on the door, his gun ready in his hands.

At first, there was silence. Then he heard some agitated voices inside and while he was knocking once more, repeating his appeal, he nodded at Tony and Tim to warn them about a possible action. They both nodded back to sign that they had registered his warning and tried their best to ready themselves for everything. Tony already had a feeling that something was about to go awry.

Suddenly, the door opened and a blonde woman in her late thirties stuck out her head. "Yes?" She asked uncertainly, visibly being nervous about the presence of two federal agents in front of her door.

"Special Agent Gibbs, NCIS." Gibbs flashed his badge quickly with his free hand, careful not to show the gun in his other one to the woman as he gestured towards Ellie who pulled out her badge, as well. "This is Special Agent Bishop."

"What can I do for you?" Mrs. Parker asked them politely, although she obviously didn't want to invite them inside, let alone to talk to them.

"We're here to ask you about your brother, Lieutenant Roy Camden." Ellie told her with a smile in attempt not to raise any suspicion.

Everything that happened afterwards was way too brief and swift for Tony to comprehend but the result was positive and that was all that mattered. He didn't hear what Camden's sister answered as he stopped entirely listening to the conversation at the front door. His attention was drawn to the sounds inside the house and when a person dashed through the back door, he focus was determined.

It took him a couple of seconds to look up and down the running person to assess rightly that it matched Camden's description. "Why do they always have to run?" He muttered to himself as he hid his gun and took a deep breath before breaking into a run to catch the Lieutenant.

It was foolish of him, considering that he was injured, which was visible on the style of his sprint through the streets but he was agile and well trained enough to escape the rushing agents behind him. Tony sensed that McGee had joined him, assuming that only them two were pursuing Camden. Gibbs had still been in recovery after his life-threatening injury and Bishop had been ordered to guard him just in case that Gibbs would forget about his mortality.

The unexpected strain on his body was starting to get better of Tony after a couple of minutes of the chase but the determination to catch Camden was greater. McGee panted next to him but he also looked decisive to stop the running man. Camden seemed to be familiar with the neighbourhood and changed the direction without thinking, giving both agents zero chance to take advantage of his temporary distraction.

In his peripheral vision, Tony noticed a figure joining their chase, outrunning the agents skilfully and expertly jumping in the right moment on Camden, knocking him down on the ground. In a split second, the unknown person pushed down the Lieutenant, rolled him over on his stomach and kneeled down on his back to prevent him for escaping any further, while securing his hands.

Breathless Tim and Tony stopped in their tracks, trying to catch their breath and examining the person who had helped them to catch the Lieutenant. Upon examining the form, they could clearly see that it was a woman dressed in red sweatpants with yellow inscription "MARYLAND" and "M" white letter above it on the left leg, and black pullover hoodie, no doubt with white "MARYLAND" inscription on it, topped by the knitted black and red hat – also displaying the pride of affiliation to University of Maryland.

Tony doubled over both in physical exhaustion and laughter. "Ziva!" He exclaimed happily, overjoyed with the presence of the love of his life more than ever.

"Cuffs, please!" She called and extended her hand while she pushed her knee deeper into the line between Camden's shoulder blades, admonishing him with a couple of harsh words in retaliation for those he had spitted at her.

McGee snapped out of his reverie and pulled out his handcuffs, handing them to her with a chuckle. "That was amazing!" He appreciated her help and her running performance.

"Thank you, Tim." She thanked him in return as she snapped the handcuffs around Camden's hands shut and got off him slowly.

McGee stepped in and pulled him back to his legs, ignoring his protests about being innocent and them having no right to chase him like that, let alone to arrest him. Ziva brushed off her knees that had gotten a little bit dirty while she had struggled to get the Lieutenant under control and immobilize him. She turned to Tony who had that 'what-in-the-devil-are-you-doing-here' look but with a grateful smile on his lips.

She hadn't had any intention to get involve into anything when she had set off for her afternoon jog session a couple of minutes ago. The only thing she needed was to clear her head because she'd been working on one paper and as much as she had tried, the words she wanted to write simply didn't agree with her head and her thoughts kept turning to everything else but the subject matter of the paper.

But then she had seen a smudgy stain in the distance and two other stains following her and she didn't have to think twice to guess that someone was trying to get away. After assessing the situation, she had sped up the run and ran the fleeing man over, letting out a chuckle as she had noticed who those two people running behind him were. She had then doubled her efforts to restrain the man under her.

"You are a godsend." Tony approached her with a smirk, his breathing finally calming down enough to let him talk without constricting his throat. He should hit the gym soon, again, if he wanted to stay in shape to deal with runs like that on the daily basis without a problem.

She smiled at him in return and adjusted the lapels on his coat that he had unbuttoned to run freely without limits. "You know I never turn down an offer for some sweaty assistance." She told him before gluing her lips to his as he shamelessly kissed her back with passion that would throw this planet off balance if manifested differently.

Tim only rolled his eyes and rather focused on reading the rights to dejected Camden who had apparently given up any form of protest after he'd heard the reason for his apprehension. Then, he called Gibbs and shortly afterwards Bishop arrived on the scene in the car. She had given a ride back to the Mrs. Parker's house to all of them except for Ziva who bid her goodbye with another kiss and wave of her hand and carried on in her usual tempo.

And just like that, the case was closed, at least as far as NCIS was concerned. Camden pleaded guilty and was ready to face any prosecution charges against him, searching mostly for forgiveness from the two people he had hurt the most with his behaviour. The investigation part had ended and now it was the time for lawyers to shine and come to some agreement to punish the poor Lieutenant.

Michaels was cleared off of all charges, feeling betrayed by his best friend at first but after he had heard the whole version, he'd changed his mind and had forgiven him, albeit their friendship had grown colder. When Camden had heard about Riker's assignment on the submarine, he had presumed that she had broken up with Michaels just like she had with him before.

Since then, the only thing he could think about had been the repetition of the love triangle on the submarine just like the last time and he'd been so fed up with it that he had simply decided to non-violently eliminate Michaels and try his chance with Riker again. He hadn't had any intention to taint his best friend's career ultimately, just for long enough for him to miss the submarine's leaving.

Despite feeling ashamed of himself, he'd used Rohypnol he had confiscated from his nephew to drug Michaels so his best friend would have forgotten everything that had happened that night. Not only for to fail to remember who had done this to him but also for the practical reasons of having no recollection how he could have gotten to the military facility, obviously hinting at being used by someone as a tool.

What he hadn't expected was Michaels' effort to defend himself that had resulted into a fight between them. The Commander had always been more athletic and muscular than Camden so it hadn't taken him long to injure Camden into his thigh and reduce his ability to move properly. Camden had then taken advantage of Michaels' temporary distraction as he had realized what he had done to his friend and injected the substance into his blood.

Afterwards, Camden had pulled him into the car in spite of his injury and dumped him nearby the military facility, immediately heading to his sister's house who had done her best to stitch him up. He had confessed to her with his crazy and immoral behaviour and she had scolded him for it, actually ready to call for police the moment the agents had knocked on her door.

Camden knew that he had behaved inexcusably and expressed his regret over his actions. Tony knew that the punishment from the authorities actually didn't matter to him that much as he had punished himself enough by betraying the two closest people he had aside his family. He only wished him to deal with the consequences in the best way possible, without many losses on his side. Riker'd been right – he wasn't a bad man.

USS John Warner left port as it had been decided earlier and Tony had personally wished both Michaels and Riker good luck on the covert mission and their relationship. As he sat behind his desk and watched his team filing the reports about the closed case, reflecting on the way he had handled it, he smiled. It didn't matter anymore if he tried his best to distinguish himself from Gibbs or not. He had already had his own way to deal with the cases, suspects, investigation methods and so on. And he had done so completely naturally, without thinking.

_**The End of Chapter 35** _

* * *

*1 Let's play a game, shall we? Throw the tips of who are these two famous detectives in your reviews!

*2 Rohypnol or Flunitrazepam is a substance used for treatment of sleeping problems in those countries where it is permitted. However, it is mostly forbidden due to its effects of both physical and psychological dependence, used for recreational used of drug addicts. It is infamously known to be a drug facilitating a sexual assault or robbery.

*3 Pensieve – I believe that I don't have to explain to many of you but just in case... Pensieve is a magical object from Harry Potter universe, usually in a form of a stone basin that is used to review memories. A witch or a wizard can extract their or someone else's memories, store them in the Pensieve and review them later.

*4 The Force – I also believe I don't have to extensively explain this. It's a metaphysical power from the Star Wars universe, divided on the Light Side used by Jedi and Dark Side used by Sith and other villains. One of the psychic abilities is mindcontrol and the ability to probe mind for information or memories.


	36. Chapter 36

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 36** _

Rotating the knife between her fingers, Ziva sank the blade into the carrot and masterfully diced it with the precision of an assassin she had used to be. Dinner preparation for Tony had become one of the most favourite moments of the day for her. She could still feel connected to her past persona like that and _not being_ her in the same time.

Time was passing quickly, actually quicker than she would like. February had neared its end and she was sucked in the school life fully with Tony being completely engrossed in his team leader position for two weeks, catching up with paperwork in those weeks he wasn't. One could say that this hectic life was grinding the life off them but it wasn't the case. They still found the time to be with each other and enjoy it.

Intimate dinner for two was one of the ways they kept their relationship intact without any disruptions. In the days she managed to get home at a reasonable time, she either cooked for him or stopped for some take-away food on the way home, or it was him who assumed the same role. The arrangement was fine with both, it was the quality time they had spent in each other's company that counted.

Ziva sighed nostalgically for a moment, reflecting on the recent video call she had had with Terri last week. In a way, she missed her life in Israel and studying in Haifa. But in the same time if it meant to give up what she had now in DC, she wouldn't exchange it for anything. While she had lost something that was dear to her, she had also gained minimally the same amount of happiness.

Her morning routine in Haifa could be called monotone but after the whole life being turned upside down for various reasons, she had enjoyed it immensely. Waking up in the morning, putting on her jogging sweat suit and having a run around the neighbourhood either with Rex or alone as it had depended in what time Terri had managed to pull herself out of the bed.

Some days, she just drove the car to the port and ran across the shore, breathing in the salty smell of the sea. Then she usually returned home, had a quick shower, ate some breakfast and she and Terri drove together to Haifa for school. Luckily, their schedules barely started early in the morning so they had enough time to make it there. Returning home after school then included some walk with Rex, cooking a dinner and either meeting with friends or studying.

The Potomac River was nothing like the Mediterranean Sea and yet, she felt drawn to it for some strange reason and so her jogging trails always led towards it. She no longer jogged early in the morning but she alternated between mornings and afternoons, adapting to a different school schedule. The university was closer and so she didn't spend that much time in traffic, having more time to study at home.

What she really enjoyed was the local student's life. Although she had had a wonderful group of people to study with, aside from Terri she hadn't been spending much time with them out of school. Now, she was part of a larger group that regularly visited the same classes, helped each other with notes and papers, went to have a lunch together and so on. And everybody had been so nice to her so far.

Maybe it was given by the fact that University of Maryland – much like most universities in the United States – was sort of a town inside a city. Completely sufficient for the students and their needs. Haifa had been slightly different in this. She also adored the architecture of the school, it made her feel homely and she loved returning to the buildings and looked up at all the architectonic features.

As for the subject matters, she found out that studying in the US was more demanding but it was caused by her duty towards Haifa, as well. She had to manage exams at both schools and since she didn't want to leave everything until the last minute, she had been dutifully studying schoolwork for both universities, keeping up the most she could. Her head was throbbing often with the amount of information but she coped with that quite well.

_Suddenly, a pair of large and firm hands embraced her from behind, whispering the words of greetings laced with the loving tone into her ears. She shivered mightily, her knees turning into a jelly as the butterflies in her stomach started to toss around. Tony's body pressed onto her back and she could feel the proof of his desire in his pants through their body contact. Her hand reached out..._

Ziva hissed when she cut her finger slightly, a drop of blood smearing on the chopping board as she missed the carrot. She shook her head violently, trying to disperse the erotic vision that had played out in her mind and checked her surroundings to be sure. No Tony in sight so it had to be a figment of her overly sensitive imagination. The deep desire within her had lingered on, though.

While she was sucking the last drops of her blood out of her minor injury, she contemplated what the hell was happening with her. It wasn't the first time she'd had a vivid sexually fantasy and her appetite had risen thanks to that over the past few weeks. They were coming in the most unexpected moments, making her flushed and horny because they weren't always as innocent as this one had been.

She couldn't explain what the cause for all of it was, after all, they made love regularly so she wasn't sex-deprived. And Tony was sufficient lover for her, she didn't crave any other man in the world. She felt worshiped, adored and loved. She felt saturated and satisfied. Multiple times, all over again. _Then why the hell did she feel like a sex-obsessed maniac?_

And it wasn't just her libido that played mind tricks with her. The food cravings she had recently noticed were also something to worry about. It wasn't about some weird mixture of meals, she'd just suddenly picked a dish she hadn't had in years, not being able to fight the urge to assure herself that she still detested or didn't like the particular taste. She simply couldn't help herself, she blurted out her order or bought the ingredients before she realized what she'd been doing.

And when she was at listing symptoms of her strange mood – she had also vomited a couple of times in the last few days. She'd attributed it to the fact that she had eaten before jogging so her stomach just didn't agree with the subsequent physical load and so she had refused to eat anything before going for a run and it had helped. Now, she wasn't all that sure that it had been the right solution.

_Stop it_. She silenced mentally the little nagging voice inside her head that simply loved to undermine her confidence and broaden her innocent thoughts into wild theories full of speculations without concrete evidence. Everything was completely right with her. Just because some of her bodily functions behaved out of the ordinary didn't mean that the world would collapse.

Sound of rattling keys snapped her out of her musings, as well as Tony's loud greeting that reached her ears right after. She swept the rest of the diced vegetables on the baking sheet, threw in the onion rings and garlic and slipped it inside the own under the grill. It wouldn't ever strike her that Tony would love grilled vegetables as a garnish to the main course (a chicken steak with Roquefort sauce) but she was more than pleased to fulfil this wish for him.

She leaned against the doorframe of the kitchen's passage, watching him to get comfortable in their home, shooting her a smile she gladly returned. As he went over to her, he flashed the bottle of wine in front of her eyes to show her that he also participated on the dinner preparations by buying a good wine as an accompaniment to the meal.

She swatted his hand with the wine away and embraced his neck, seeking his mouth to obtain a kiss she was dying for all day since they had different sleeping schedules now and she hadn't gotten one in the morning. Holding the bottle in his hand, his hands sneaked around her waist and rewarded her sweet eagerness with a kiss that he intended to be a loving but brief one.

Her plans were apparently of a different nature, though. Before he knew it, she pressed him towards her like a child clutching a plushie during sleep, and pulled him forward while she walked back inside the kitchen. She forced him to pin her against the counter, the edge digging into her loins, still kissing him like crazy and not giving him any chance to take a breath.

Without looking, he put the bottle of wine behind her on the counter so she could fulfil the intention of her hands and that was to strip him of his jacket, deliciously touching him in all the sore places on his body that ached from the whole day sitting in the office as today was uneventful when it came to cases. Thanks to that, he momentarily forgot his own name and just enjoyed the beauty of her care.

She discarded his jacket and slipped her hands straight to the zipper of his pants, having no intention to stall things any further. Her lungs were screaming for air by that moment, though, and she had no other choice but to release his lips momentarily. He used that little while to still her hands, embracing her more comfortable so she could snuggle to him and give him at least a little explanation where this sudden amorous assault had come from.

"Whoa, someone's really hungry here and I don't think it's for food." He teased her with a smile, holding her chin in his right hand to direct her gaze towards him.

She sighed and lowered her eyes, wondering whether she should share her thoughts from earlier. "I am sorry, I do not know what is up with me lately." She then said, apologizing for her nymphomaniac behaviour. "I just missed you today and..."

Her next words were swallowed by his kiss as he wanted to show her that she didn't have anything to apologize for, let alone for enriching their sexual life. Hell, they had wasted so many years fighting the tension between them that even the rest of their lives couldn't ever be enough to make up for the long period of denial. Letting loose was the only reasonable thing to do.

She moaned as she still tried to speak up, unable to stop the words forming in her throat but soon, her libido won over. His kiss made her incredibly dizzy and the world around her melted into insignificant puddle of nothingness. She breathed only for the delicious taste of his mouth, for the delicate touch of his fingers on the nape of her neck as he kept her head locked up in a specific angle so he could devour her.

Nimbly, she pulled his shirt out of his pants and started to undo the buttons, loving the touch of his heaving chest against her skin. He reciprocated the action by doing the same on her bright red oversized flannel shirt she had bought the other day and he absolutely loved it on her. The angle of the kiss had changed and she thrust her tongue deeper into his mouth, making him groan.

The beeping sound of oven's alarm made her return to reality – the vegetables inside were done and needed to be pulled from the oven. Feeling the duty not to put everything on fire in this beautiful kitchen, she slipped out of his embrace in one unguarded moment and did exactly so, turning off the oven and putting the baking sheet on the counter.

Then, she turned around to face him, her erotic sense in the overdrive over the sight of dishevelled Tony with the shirt hanging open on his shoulders, casually leaning over the counter of the kitchen island, throwing her a hungry look. He breathed in the tasteful smell of the grilled vegetable and hummed in appreciation of the fragrances that filled in the air with a homely atmosphere.

"You are distracting me." She accused him, her body shivering upon the pointed gaze he subjected her to. "Get out of the kitchen or I will never finish this dinner."

Tony shrugged in response, hinting that he couldn't care less about a dinner consisting of food. The moment she had kissed him, he was certain that he would rather starve than miss an opportunity to make love to her. He could see that she had made an effort to prepare healthy, yet hearty dinner for them and he had no intention to downplay it. However, she had managed to fire him up more than enough to just cool down without a release.

To defend herself and actually prove herself that she had still some control over her body, she snatched a wooden spoon out of the counter and aimed it at him when he took a step towards her. "Out of the kitchen. NOW!" She growled in a bossy tone that told him not to mess up with her.

He put his finger on his mouth contemplatively as if he was testing her resolve but then he raised his hands in the air to sign his surrender and made a move to exit the kitchen. Watching him closely, she sighed in relief once he was out of the sight and turned back to the counter, dropping the wooden spoon on the counter and buttoning her shirt back up.

The lack of her vigilance was soon punished because once he stepped out of the kitchen, he turned around and went right back. She was turned with her back to him so her chance to react defensively was absolutely minimal. Once he swiftly approached her, he pressed his chest on hers, catching her arms in the mid-air to stop her from reaching the wooden spoon and finishing her job with the buttons.

Assaulting her neck with feathery kisses was a great strategy to quieten the threatening growl of a cornered animal inside her. She turned into a puddle in a couple of seconds, completely relaxing in his arms as his hands undid the buttons on her shirt again, caressing the heated skin beneath the fabric. The strange mixture of the grilled vegetable fragrance and the smell of lust and desire in the air in the kitchen made him want her twice as much as he would have ever expected.

Soon, she turned her head in an angle so he could attempt to kiss her on the mouth, albeit very sloppily but when the sexual drive had the first say in everything running through their mind, it didn't even matter. Their mouths fused in a moist lip-lock that was getting deeper and deeper as Ziva turned her whole body around to face him and the angle provided more opportunities to explore further.

She pushed his already opened shirt down his shoulders, hastily forcing him to run his hands through the sleeves so she could discard it and devour his naked chest with her touches made both by her delicate fingers and her mouth. Shivers rand down his spine as she planted open-mouthed kisses up and down the upper half of his body, her arms possessively locked up around his waist.

In the meantime, he took care of her shirt, focusing his sight momentarily on her breasts wrapped up in the lacy bra of the salmon pink colour. The heaving movement hypnotized him completely for a couple of eternal seconds as if her natural bodily function of breathing was a wonder worthy of an award. And he granted it in spite of not having any kind of trophy at his disposal, considering pay in kids as the best option.

Ziva threw her head back to give him more space for scattering the titillating and enjoyable kiss in the swell of her breasts, stroking the stiffened muscles on her lover's back. Her shoulders danced in the unison as he unclasped her bra and moved it out the way, the straps falling down her arms. Shortly after, his hot mouth tasted the recently uncovered parts of her chest and she considered herself lucky to be pressed on the counter behind her because her legs weren't that confident anymore.

Her fingers ran through this hair from the nape of his neck up to the crown of his head, her thoughts shifting briefly to wondering about the silkiness and softness of his hair like if he didn't have to care about it at all, unlike her. Shampoo, conditioner, heat protection spray, hairdryer and curling iron were the merest necessities to make her hair look at least a little bit normal.

A moan escaped her lips as his tongue flickered over her nipple and she felt a familiar tug inside her belly. Her hands quickly slipped down his back to his front to get to his pants, banishing all other unimportant and mundane thoughts. Down there, things were quite simple. Belt buckle, a little move to loosen the belt, button on the pants, zipper down and his pants were free.

His excellent sense for cooperation was very known to her so when he kicked off his shoes, shook his legs to help his pants to fall down on the ground and managed to get them off his ankles together with his socks, she wasn't even surprised. What impressed her was how he had managed to keep sucking on her breasts with occasional kisses on her neck in the meantime.

But thanks to all of that, her body was on fire and it desperately screamed for release. The whole foreplay was nice and all but she needed more, she craved for more. She didn't want to let him to tease for far too long so while he kept giving her hickeys all over her chest, she took off her light blue sweatpants, leaving them both naked barring the underwear.

He noticed her actions despite being occupied and withdrew his head from her chest to look into her face. "Do you want to move this to bedroom?" He asked her, thinking about her comfort first. His right hand held her nape firmly to ensure her undying attention.

She shook her head mutely to sign the negative answer on his question. In all honesty, she didn't care where it would happen, she just _wanted_ it. Today's sexual desire didn't crave unusual position, unusual environment or anything like it. She just _wanted_ him. _Him inside her._ She didn't even care for the dinner, anymore. Her body looked down at the food at the moment. Only thing she wanted was sex.

He nodded in comprehension, kissing her profoundly to make her dizzy and compliant. Taking into account her reply, he assumed the role of logistician who had to take care of the various tasks to provide the appropriate delivery. His calloused hands rand down her torso, firmly grasping her ass cheeks as he pressed her to his body, making her moan appreciatively in response.

Almost toppling over when she sensually rubbed her body against his, he spun them around slowly, still kissing her deeply as if he found a vein of gold inside her mouth. She used his shoulders and biceps for support because she didn't trust her legs at all. That was why she stubbornly resisted his attempt to lift her left leg up, wondering why he wanted to deprive her of the little balance she still possessed.

All he needed to do, though, was to brush his fingers lightly across her panties and she started to tremble like jelly. He put left arm around her waist firmly, lifting her flabby left leg up and hooking it around his waist to gain some advantage for what he was about to do. And as if she foresaw his actions, she interwove her arms with his, holding onto him for her dear life, feeling that she could drown without a float like him.

Then even her second leg deserted the comfort of a firm ground as he lifted her in the air and hoisted her up on the kitchen isle behind her back. He grunted as the physical effort had taken its toll on his back, not that she was somehow too heavy but he wasn't getting any younger, despite his quite fine shape. She giggled in return, feeling suddenly more confident with a solid surface beneath her buttocks.

She immediately drew him closer and locked him up in a mighty embrace of her thighs and calves around his waist, her arms hugging his chest desperately. They were now equal in their height which provided a new angle of their kiss and she took advantage of it to become the one in control. After all, he was busy enough with peeling her panties off of her body.

Tearing her mouth away to let out a lustful yelp, she threw her head back as the first wave of pleasure washed over her when he stuck his fingers inside her and instantly started to massage her inner walls. The sultry look she gave him was an image that burnt in the back of his mind for sure and it only encouraged him to masterfully carry on in his actions.

However, her appreciation was short-lived. She started the squirm to thwart his efforts to bring her to heaven with his fingers, leaning forward to his face when he looked at her with a puzzled expression. "Not enough." She whispered, her hand slipping alongside his hip to reach the desire destination in the front, squeezing the hardened member inside. "I want _this._ "

When her warm hand released his throbbing shaft inside his boxers, he breathed out shakily with closed eyes to gain some composure. Then, he opened them and looked inside her coveting eyes that watched him with anticipation. He didn't need anything else to know what his orders were so he made a quick work with his boxers to get this piece of clothing out of the way and ready himself for the blissful occasion.

Her hands together with the adorable purrs coming out of her mouth impatiently urged him to hurry up and let the passion explode between them. He put his palms on her cheeks and claimed her mouth for umpteenth time, sliding his right hand on her back as he began to push her down so she would lay down on the kitchen isle's surface. She obediently followed his silent command, feeling secure with his support.

For a little while, he kept kissing her, pushing her hips down because she didn't want to stop moving them in attempt to make him slide inside her as his erected manhood hovered over her hot and wet core. He had in mind a different position this time so he stalled the main event for a little bit more until she was more compliant and devoted to his cause, her curiosity getting the better of her.

Her eyes shone searchingly when he abruptly straightened up, smiling down at her as she lay in front of him in her whole naked beauty, breathing heavily and shooting him her best seductive look. Then, he unwrapped her legs from around his waist, using more force than he had anticipated at first because she couldn't give up the last piece of control without an effort.

Only after he looked at her meaningfully, she giggled evilly and eased off her clasp, sticking her right forefinger into her mouth cheekily. He shook his head helplessly at her behaviour but continued in carrying out his original intent, lifting her legs up in the air. That made her draw her body closer to him, pursing her pussy and ass on the edge of the kitchen isle. Judging by his appreciative click of his tongue, he had her right where he wanted her.

Kissing both her slender and beautiful ankles, he propped them against his shoulders, caressing them down to her curvy backside, gripping her hips firmly to place her into the right angle. He loved the kitchen isle beneath her body. It was smaller than the other counters by the wall so her delicious pussy entrance was right in the same height as his own intimate parts. As if it was done exactly for the purpose of Mermaid sexual position.

She moaned loudly and arched her back, sinking her teeth into the finger in her mouth when he entered her. It felt so erotically slick and incredibly tight that the sensual receptors in her brain had a hard time to deal with all the pleasure that flooded her. With such an angle, he also felt so much fuller than before inside her and she couldn't think of any other words to describe it than fulfilment of her greatest desires.

And he had similar thoughts, hardly recalling any other moment in his sexual life when he felt so fantastic while being enveloped by the woman's heat like right now. He didn't mean to reduce the importance of his other encounters, especially with the woman he loved in front of him but somehow, this felt more satisfying and pleasant than ever before. Reasons for it were unknown to him and honestly, he couldn't care less.

His only goal right now was to bring the blissful feeling of gratification for both of them. And so, he moved inside her, their moans of pleasure bouncing against the kitchen's walls, complementing each other to express the physical and mental satisfaction. Then, he did it again. And again. And again. And all over again until the delightful friction between their bodies forced them to lose their minds.

Although their current sexual connection could hardly be described as rough, it had something primal and raw in it. He firmly held her calves for support, digging his fingers into the flesh so much that it had to be painful for her. But it seemed that she welcomed it and decided to channel it further into her body to add it to the incredible feeling of pleasure that didn't want to leave her for a single millisecond.

She also didn't let him to do the work all by himself, not because she would be a control freak but because she wanted him to feel at least the same amount of delight as she had. And judging by his expressions and groans, she was doing a fine job. Her hips bucked rhythmically to meet with his deep thrusts to multiply the friction between them, her hands braced by the edge of the kitchen isle to find more strength to do this and to reinforce her efforts.

Occasionally, she lifted her legs off his shoulders and widened the gap in a large 'V', then put the legs back together. As they found out, the magnificent feelings of tightness had always returned with this movement, making them both gasp for air and driving them wild. Not to mention that whenever she did this, he always looked for support on her body, touching and squeezing her breasts, grasping her hips and rearranging the angle.

However, it was getting harder to keep the balance, anymore. Her legs were tingling due to the lack of blood inside them, shivering from the exertion to keep them up but it also could be contributed to how close to her orgasm she actually was. And because he wasn't doing any better, he decided to speed things up to give them both a short moment to recuperate.

His thrusts quickened as he bent forward, forcing her legs to bent in her knees over his shoulders while he started a kissing trail up her torso from her bellybutton. And oh, it worked for her perfectly. His manhood buried deeper inside her, hitting her sweet spot and she came with a loud moan, feverishly holding onto his head because the edge of the kitchen isle wasn't simply enough.

Just like her, he channelled the pain she was causing him by tugging at his hair desperately and let it to arouse him to maximum. It wasn't that difficult when he absolutely loved to engross himself in sucking her nipples while her chest heaved up and down as she panted in attempt to suck some of the fresh air into her lungs and return her blackened mind into its normal state, plus the amazing sensation of satisfaction, of course.

Yanking his head forward, she crashed her lips on his in a grateful kiss to award him for that he had given her what she had been craving for the whole day. She had felt elevated beyond the imaginary seventh heaven, cloud nine or whatever. Returning back to Earth from the heights she had been fired to after the blissful climax struck her was nice only thanks to his continuous care of her pleasure.

And as she kept inspecting the deepest corners of his mouth with the profound movement of her tongue, making them both moan at the sensational rubbing, she also lifted herself up a little bit, her back leaving the kitchen isle's surface. She wanted to straighten up, to bring their bodies closer, to feel his hot skin beneath her fingers while his penis carried on in penetrating her in such a terrific fashion.

He could be completely wrapped up in her, enjoying the delightful love-making but he was also perceptive enough to get a hint when it was presented to him. And so he moved his hand on her lower back, raising her heated body up together with his. He had to adjust his arms so her legs could fall down his shoulders on his sides where she immediately applied a firm leg lock, their pelvises meeting in the close contact.

This new angle was a gift from heavens, providing him with a solid ground beneath his feet, opportunity to lean his knees against the counter and although it was more physically demanding to hold her in this position, it offered him an incredibly helpful support. For her, it meant that she had something to hold onto and touch him wherever she pleased – both with her hands and her mouth.

And so their resumed their wild tempo with fiery looks on their faces, building more and more pleasure. She kept alternating between reaching for his shoulders, digging and raking her nails across his back and chest, and propping herself up on her hands against the kitchen isle's surface to give him an opportunity to snuggle with her proudly stuck out endowed bosom.

He made use of her arching her back towards him, bending her body down and making a little circle with the upper of her body while she threw her wild curls in the air. To say that such a view was sexy as hell would be an understatement. Every single time it had happened, he pumped his manhood into her more urgently and almost violently, but she didn't mind it whatsoever, prompting him to do so more often with the squeeze of her mighty muscular legs around his waist.

Their mouths were unstoppable, fusing together in one second and in the other worshipping some other part of their scorching bodies from earlobes, face and neck to collar bone, chest and breasts. It was an eternal conquest without a clear winner, all about giving and be given. And their gratitude for it had been vocally voiced in countless sensual groans and moans in pleasure.

It was only a matter of time until the world around them would shatter into a blissful and delightful darkness where they could endlessly drink from the chalice of satisfaction. The information who reached their climax first was absolutely futile because in a certain moment of their love-making session on the kitchen isle, they had become one being as a result of faultless fusion.

They fell through the hole in the ground together, drowning in the beautiful feeling of delight willingly. Suddenly, the direction changed and while they held onto each other firmly, trying to catch their breaths, the pleasure shot them up in the sky at the breakneck speed into dizzying heights. The inseparable connection between them felt more profound than ever before.

Their eyes met in a meaningful stare after they had landed back on Earth, arms tangled together to provide the support for each other. Hungrily, they sought the mouths of one another, sealing their love for an umpteenth time with a kiss. It was this lip-lock that energized them, shooting the sparks of electricity to the farthest corners of their nerve ends to make them aware of their bodies again.

And for a brief moment, Ziva sensed another force materializing around them. She couldn't explain it in any words, but it seemed to her as if she hadn't heard only hers and Tony's heartbeat. Someone else was also there, embedded in their mutual existence. However, the thought itself was very vague and she dismissed it immediately to focus more on her exceptional boyfriend.

Unbeknown to her, Tony felt it, too. And just like her, he had no explanation for it, no way to express the strange, yet likeable tingling that challenged him to realize something. And because he couldn't think of anything else, he took it as one of the countless proofs that he and Ziva belonged together. They were made for each other, they were soul mates. One jigsaw piece clicking into place with another.

When he released her lips, looking at her blushing face intently, he smirked proudly. "Now when you're sated... Hungry for some edible dinner?" He asked her, palming her face lovingly and nudging her nose.

She giggled in response – always bet on DiNozzo's stomach, it had never forgotten about real food, no matter how Tony himself was preoccupied with something else. Pretending to bite his nose off before pushing him away, she jumped back down on the ground from the kitchen isle. His arms went immediately around her to steady her since she hadn't sensed a firm ground beneath her feet for some while.

Thanking him for his gentleman-like behaviour, she awarded him with a peck on his cheek and went to retrieve her clothes so she could continue in the dinner preparation. When he joined her, she didn't fight back and let him help her, knowing already that they made a good team in the kitchen. In no time, their dinner was ready to serve and eat, although in a slightly different lukewarm version than was original planned.

* * *

It was sometime in the middle of the night when Ziva finally resigned on attempts to lull herself in the sleep by using all the mental techniques she'd been advised. Imagining sea, listening to the waves crashing against each other, repeating to herself that she had to sleep, snuggling next to deeply sleeping Tony and breathing in his scent that always calmed her – none of that worked.

Frustrated, she rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling with wide opened eyes. The storms raging inside her head were simply impossible to stop, always rousing her from the shallow slumber she'd fallen into. It didn't have a concrete form, all she could hear was _'you should think about this',_ but she had always tried to shut her mind down before exploring the _this_ inside her thoughts.

Turning her head sideways, she made sure that Tony was still asleep and her musings hadn't woken him up. Then, she looked back at the ceiling, closing her eyes and focusing her attention on the damn, nagging thought somewhere in her mind. If she was supposed to get some sleep at all tonight, she needed to face it and deal with it appropriately. And running away from it didn't apparently have the desired effect.

' _What do you want?!'_ She asked silently the poor, battered being living within her that could also turn into her greatest enemy whenever it had gotten the better of her, plaguing her mind with worries and doubts. Instead of a verbal answer, she was offered a flash of a memory that caused familiar type of heat washing over her, considering its nature and the tangible reaction of her body.

It was that brief moment in her momentary consciousness she had experienced during the kiss with Tony after the delightful orgasms they had both reached. But the reason for this memory flash wasn't in the omnipresent feeling of pleasure. It was in the 'another force' she had felt, that heartbeat she had supposedly perceived in a different rhythm than hers and Tony's heart.

Although she willed her mind to focus on the moment as much as she could, she only heard the heartbeat while her thoughts set off in a different direction. They reminded her of her recently increased sexual libido, the insatiable desire for love-making with her boyfriend and her intensified enjoyment she had from it, making her crave more and more as it was a drug she couldn't live without.

Her odd and incomprehensible appetite when it came to food also found its way into her thoughts. It couldn't be a coincidence that she had so excessively fancied meals she hadn't really liked before. There had to be some malfunction in her digestive system or something. And maybe the vomiting was a consequence of all this, plus the physical and psychical extortion.

' _Or there could be simpler explanation...'_ Her inner self argued, prodding her to stop looking for a way to avoid the self-evident thing. Increased sexual libido, weird cravings, vomiting and on top of that, the long-forgotten missing period for a third cycle in a row. A person as intelligent as Ziva David should recognize the symptoms immediately, looking for an opportunity to ascertain the fact, not to ignore the possibility.

Her hand unknowingly to her landed on her stomach as if she wanted to protect the potential of the little creature inside. As the realization sank in, she expected herself to start freaking out. However shocked as she was, though, it had the opposite effect. The sleep had finally taken over her and she fell into a deep and dreamless slumber, leaving any kind of decision-making until the next day.

* * *

When she woke up in the morning, Tony was already gone. She didn't even have to open her eyes to assure herself – the feeling of emptiness and almost deathly silence in the apartment was enough of evidence. She didn't hold it against him, though, he was the one working here, after all. And she had a day off today, so she was allowed to sleep more than she used to.

A smile spread across her face when she noticed the breakfast tray on the ground with bacon and egg sandwiches and orange juice. A single red rose laid on it, making Ziva wonder where the hell he had managed to get one, with a sweet 'I love you' note stuck in between a thorn and a leaf. Tony could make her lazy mornings even lazier and pleasant, despite the lack of his personal presence. And for that, she loved him.

She polished off the breakfast tray quickly while browsing her phone for news and answering some texts, then she got up and went to the bathroom. When she looked at her reflection in the mirror, she felt as if someone else was looking back at her. Her eyes seemed hollow and her face haggard as if she didn't sleep for centuries. Definitely not a Sleeping Beauty, then.

Washing her face and combing her hair, she tried to look at herself once more, this time prying a smile in the corners of her mouth. It was better but it still didn't feel right. Maybe it was the right moment to face the realization she had come to last night when she'd desperately tried to fall asleep. Because she hadn't forgotten about it for a single second since she'd woken up.

A deep breath filled her lungs with fresh air and also with enough confidence to stand in front of a large mirror. She wasn't looking at her face, studying her body instead dressed in the dark red pyjama bottoms and white tank top. Slowly, she placed her hands on her stomach, inspecting with her fingers the hardness of her belly, searching for something out of the ordinary.

After a while, she dared to lift her tank top just enough to reveal her belly and look at it. Seemingly, there was no change from the norm she'd been used to, her stomach looking the same way. Okay, maybe some flab here and there, she wasn't exactly stern in her diet. That was why she jogged so often, after all, to keep herself in some shape. Yet, the feeling that she wasn't entirely alone persisted.

Then she focused on her feelings, on what she herself felt towards this new hunch. And she realized – to her surprise – that she was absolutely and perfectly calm. She'd felt tensed earlier, wondering what changes were happening to her body and what was the cause but if she found the right answer, she could finally find a way to accept it. However, there was still a chance that it could be something entirely different. And it wouldn't be anything nice.

She scowled at her own reflection and cursed loudly. Exactly this kind of uncertainty unnerved her to no end, playing tricks on her mind and deflecting her common sense from clear thinking. Refusing to let it win, she gathered all the courage she needed to put some clothes on and set off her way to the drugstore. She _needed_ to know to make the right decisions for the future.

Ziva David went to buy a pregnancy test.

_**The End of Chapter 36** _


	37. Chapter 37

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 37** _

"Simply hold the tip in your urine stream for five seconds. The tip will turn pink indicating the test is working." Ziva mumbled the words she read form the packaging of the pregnancy test she had bought impatiently. "After three minutes read the results. A pregnant result may appear in one minute when testing from the day of your missed period."

She put the packaging down and looked at her reflection in the mirror to assure herself that whatever result she would see in under ten minutes, she'd be fine with it. It meant to visit a doctor and get some tests done, anyway, because she was either pregnant or worse, definitely struggling with some health issues. Her body reacted in a way she hadn't known before and it was the time to finally do something about it.

Unwrapping the packaging, she pulled out the three pregnancy test sticks and put them on the counter in the bathroom, together with the detailed instructions what to do to get the accurate results. Luckily, if she counted correctly, her period was expected to show up two days ago, just like the two months before. If she was pregnant, then it wasn't fresh and the test should give her the most accurate answer.

So she skipped the information about the accuracy and need to use the first urine of the day as she was certain she met with the requirements to test her potential pregnancy any time of the day. She chuckled at the warning that she shouldn't drink too much liquid before testing because whenever she was on a hunt for something – both people and information – she usually forgot to eat or drink, anyway.

Then she thoroughly scanned what she is supposed to do with the test and for a couple of seconds, she mulled over whether she should pee on the test itself or rather gather her urine into some container. Eventually, she decided for the latter because she'd never been good at 'directing' her urine stream – if such a thing was even possible. Besides, she was afraid that she would get the rest of the stick wet which could apparently lead to a test error, just like holding the stick upwards and not downwards.

She selected 'a clean, dry container' as the instructions dictated, in her case it was a tumbler glass she considered wide and deep enough to gather her urine, polished it with a dish towel and took a pee. By the time she was done, she already hated everything about the excretory system of humans and her current situation that required gathering body fluids.

The urge to smash the glass full of her bright yellow urine on the counter was strong but she controlled herself, knowing that cleaning the mess afterwards would be less pleasant. She took one of the tests and removed the foil wrapper, then the blue cap on the test stick. Taking a deep breath since she was about to do something life-changing, she dipped the tip of the stick inside the glass and counted to five.

The tip of the stick immediately turned to pink as it absorbed the urine and she felt relieved to know that the test was functional. Once the instructed time was over, she pulled the stick out and put the blue cap on, laying the test flat on the counter's surface. According to the instructions, a horizontal blue line was supposed to immediately appear in the larger, test window on the stick while the vertical line in the smaller, control window should indicate that the test worked.

As she quickly checked, both lines appeared and so she followed the instructions correctly. Now it was only the matter of three-minute wait to find out whether the horizontal blue line in the test window would remain in this state and thus indicate that she wasn't pregnant, or it would be enriched of a vertical cline, creating a nice plus and giving a clear answer about her future that involved having a baby.

Three minutes. One hundred and eighty seconds. _Hardest one eighty of my life._ She almost choked when she remembered the words Tony had uttered before turning around and leaving her behind him to get on the plane that would take him to D.C. and separate them for so many months. Of course, she had to choose this particular test with such a time period instead of many others that didn't use the three-minute time frame.

Maybe, just maybe, this moment was her hardest one eighty of her life but in a different perspective. She'd been through many crucial events that turned her life upside down, forcing her to adapt on the new conditions and deal with them. _However, what was more life-changing moment of a human's life than having a baby?_ It was a binding commitment for at least eighteen years and always took it as a lifetime thing.

Everything would change. She couldn't distinguish whether for better or worse because only time could give her the answers in the right moment. But she was ready to face the responsibility and consequences with everything she'd ever been taught and learnt. And she had no doubts that Tony would act the same way, standing by her side and catching her when she would be falling.

Beeping sound of the watch alarm she had set for three minutes snapped her out of her musings, being surprised that she managed to stay calm and just occupy herself with her thoughts, instead of checking the test every single millisecond in anticipation of the result. With shaking hands, she picked up the test and focused her sight on the stick. And her eyes widened.

* * *

"And what about this one?" Tim picked up another ring and offered it to Tony for inspection.

It was a simple yellow gold band with the top twisted into a small braid on both sides, covered with tiny diamonds. The crown of the ring was a large circular diamond set in golden round bedding, locking the diamond in the centre up. It was modest enough according to Tim's taste and yet still stunning to the outside world. And what was more important – he could certainly imagine how it would look like on Ziva's hand.

"Nah, still too flashy." Tony dismissed it with a wave of his hand, not even giving the ring further inspection and turning back to his own tray full of rings. Once he saw the giant diamond in the centre, he knew that it could never work as an engagement ring for the love of his life.

McGee sighed wearily but quietly, because he didn't want to show how annoyed he was starting to be with his best friend. That man didn't seem to be satisfied with anything. They had looked at five trays so far and Tony dismissed all the white gold rings, stating that they looked like silver and he _insisted_ on gold. Red gold then didn't apparently fit in the standards, either, for whatever reason and so they ended up with trays of yellow gold rings.

However, finding the right mixture Tony dreamt about proved to be an impossible task. Some of the rings were "clearly too simple and poor", the other ones were then "too sumptuous and extravagant" and according to his friend's words "it was completely out of the question to choose an engagement ring that would outshine the wedding one". Tim didn't regret the second he had agreed to help out Tony to choose the ring, but his indecision was destroying his nerves.

"Okay... Explain to me once again why we're even here doing this?" He asked his friend and rubbed his forehead to soothe the headache that was forming inside. "You already have the perfect ring for her!"

"But that's the wedding ring, Tim. It'll be the sign of our unbreakable bond, our marriage." Tony argued while he returned one of the rings he had just dismissed back on the tray. It was tiring to repeat all the time why it was a choice of an engagement ring so important to him. He'd already been through this with Senior who had obviously shared the confusion with McGee.

He tried to explain it thoroughly once more, though. "I want to give her an engagement ring, as well, because you know... Who knows when the wedding can happen with the lives we're living?" He said and looked at his friend with pleading eyes, asking for comprehension. "I want her to be mine and I want everyone, including her, to know that."

Was it one of the ways he planned to deal with the fear of abandonment? Most certainly. He didn't want to _chain_ Ziva to him with a ring and a promise of a marriage, though. He just wanted the ring to be a symbol of their love and commitment they had for each other. So the whole world would know that the thing between them _meant_ something and it wasn't just a whim.

However, their time schedules – at least as they looked at the moment – didn't give much of a chance to plan a wedding in the near future. So, if he wanted her to wear the symbol of their future bond, it could have been done only through an engagement ring. And he desired for this one to be completely different than the one he already had for her for the occasion of nuptials.

The fact was that the wedding ring had already meant a lot to him as it had used to be his mother's ring. He had spoken about it with Senior to receive his blessings to which his father had no objections, only revealing his honour that the beautiful ring would decorate the hand of the woman Tony loved so much. And exactly because of the meaning behind this particular ring, he wanted to use it during the wedding ceremony only.

Tim nodded in understanding and patted his friend on the shoulder to sign him that there was no need to explain the situation more. They both turned to their respective trays, scanning the rings in attempt to find one that would catch their attention. After a while, Tim picked up one that could meet with all the standards Tony had been insisting on as he focused his eyes on it closely.

Once again, it was a simple band twisting in waves at the top to create a crown for three little and shimmering diamonds. They were perfectly aligned into one line, replenishing the diamond-line shank. He turned it around because he felt some engravings beneath the stones and read the words inside, smile plastering across his face. If these words didn't scream _perfect_ , he would have to return all the money he had ever earned from his books sells.

"Check out this one." He handed it over to Tony who took it between his fingers with interest. "Look inside."

Tony turned around the ring to look at the engravings beneath the individual stones on the crown of the ring. "Past. Present. Future." He whispered aloud and smiled at the perfection of the words engraved into the metal band.

"I don't think there's any other ring that can exactly depict what you two are." Tim pointed out, happy to see the satisfied smile on his friend's face. "It will honour the mutual past you have because without it, you wouldn't have your present. And this whole ring is about a promising future ahead of you."

The fiancé-to-be chuckled in content and kept toying with the ring in his fingers. "You're right, it's flawless." He admitted and threw a thankful gaze towards his friend. "Thank you, Tim."

"Anytime." The long-time friend who was practically Tony's surrogate brother answered, smiling down at the ring that held the promise of a bright future ahead of all. Happy Tony and Ziva usually meant happiness for everyone else around. And just maybe Tony had just inspired him to choose a ring of his own so he could proceed to the most important decision of his life – and marry Delilah.

Tony waved at the clerk in the jeweller's shop who had let them to inspect the tray a while ago to tell him that their decision had been made. He didn't honestly the care about the price of the ring. He hadn't become a millionaire but he had enough savings to afford the perfection he'd just fallen in love with. Now, it was only the matter of choosing the right moment for proposal.

* * *

Somewhere in the distance, Ziva heard the elevator ding as a sign of her arrival to the floor where Abby's laboratory was. She watched the door slide open and stepped out of the steel box, trying to tame the deafening rustle inside her head as the blood accumulated there, making her feel woozy. It took her a lot to find some inner strength and will her legs to walk towards the lab, but she managed it eventually.

She marched inside and opened her mouth to speak up but the sight in front of her made her to halt her steps. Abby wasn't alone, Ellie was with her and as she could assess, she had just interrupted a lecture of some sorts. They both wore the lab coats and goggles, hunching over a microscope as the Goth explained the details of whatever sample they had been examining.

"I guess I should have called first." Ziva apologized for her disturbance promptly, uncertainly shifting her weight from one foot to another.

She desperately needed to talk with someone and figured that Abby would be the best candidate for it as she had known her and Tony for ages. However, she didn't expect to bump into Eleanor Bishop, as well. Ellie had been nothing but sweet and nice girl to have a casual chat with and normally, she wouldn't mind her presence at this very moment but the matter was way too personal to spill it in front of just anyone.

"Ziva!" Abby exclaimed happily as she straightened up, removing the goggles out of her eyes, securing them around the top of her head. "Now what do we owe this pleasure?"

She moved to envelope her dear Israeli friend in a tight hug, preventing her efficiently from changing her mind immediately and walking away. Slowly, she nudged Ziva to approach the laboratory table and join her little teaching lesson she had been carrying out for Ellie. She couldn't even describe how much she loved to talk about her machines and what wonders they could do to help the agents investigate the crimes.

"Hello, Ellie." Ziva greeted the blonde agent, leaving Abby's question without an answer for now. "What are you two doing?"

Bishop nodded back at her, setting aside her own goggles. "Abby's teaching me how all the lab equipment works." She replied with an enthusiastic smile. "Not that I'm suddenly interested in forensic science but it's always good to broaden the knowledge and understand the way it gives us clues for solving a case."

Ziva appreciated her endeavour with a smile, comprehending her motives for expanding her learning. Gibbs usually refused to want to know more, stating that he should be contacted only if the machines gave him the information he needed to proceed further. Tony had some basic knowledge but still relied full on Abby's abilities and McGee's knowledge had always been deeper, yet it wouldn't hurt if another agent from the team actually fully understood the whole miracle this technology offered.

However, she also noticed the subtle hint between the lines of the whole scene in the lab. As far as she knew, the whole team had a day off today. Tony had been spending his free time with McGee, giving her the space to work on the paper for one of her history classes she had completely forgotten about since the morning. But that didn't matter right now, what mattered was that Ellie had rather chosen to spend her day off with Abby in the lab than with her husband, Jake.

"I wanted to talk to you in private," Ziva turned to Abby afterwards, sensing that Ellie hadn't been exactly ready to talk about her marriage problems, not to mention that the Israeli had some problems of her own so she wouldn't be exactly the perfect person to consult with on that topic, "but..."

"Oh, don't be bothered by me!" Bishop interfered immediately. Her tone wasn't reproachful or offended, she genuinely understood the depth of the friendship the two other women had and didn't want to stay in their way. "If you need to talk, I'll leave you alone."

She managed to shrug her lab coat off before Ziva took her by her arm and stopped her. "Actually, I want you to stay." She insisted, changing her mind after she gave it a deeper thought. The topic could be personal but Ellie was part of their little group and yearned for the acceptance. Maybe this was the best way how to do it. "I need a voice of reason and another one could come in handy."

Ellie smiled brightly in gratitude, feeling elated thanks to the sense of belonging. Although she and Ziva could call each other friends, she couldn't deny certain kind of hesitancy whenever they interacted. And it wasn't just Ziva who was careful, it was Ellie herself, as well. She guessed that it was their natural instinct _not to_ interfere with each other due to their status on the team. After all, Ellie hadn't replaced just anyone. Ziva David was a legend among the NCIS ranks.

Ziva looked at Abby whose knitted eyebrows showed the concern that was suddenly seeded deep within her. She could only imagine what the Goth had to think and what kind of dark scenarios had just been circling around inside her head. Giving her an assuring smile, she tried to calm her down and subdue her wild theories that doubtlessly included a potential break-up of her two friends.

"Let's rather go to the back of the lab, just in case anyone would want to eavesdrop on us." Abby suggested with wary eyes towards the entryway as if she expected anyone coming through at any second.

The other two women nodded and all three moved to the rear section of the laboratory that was more hidden to the common visitor and not just thanks to the sliding doors only a couple of people knew the code for. Abby had built up a little hideout there – with the blessing of the Director – so she could spend the night comfortably within these walls whenever she was too engrossed in her work, waiting for some results.

Once they seated down with Ellie next to Ziva while Abby assumed her position across them to better pierce through her Israeli friend if needed, the two other women focused intently on Ziva and waited for her to begin in suspense. The former agent was aware of their curiosity and tried to remember the words she had been planning to say, rehearsing the whole scene during her ride to the NCIS headquarters.

It turned out to be futile because the words she so perfectly constructed into a concrete speech had left her and only a couple of them remained. Mutely, she exchanged the looks with both Ellie and Abby, opening her mouth emptily. "Okay so..." she eventually found her voice, "lately, I've been feeling a bit off-colour."

She took a deep breath, ignoring the furrowed eyebrows of her Goth friend because she hated to see her so worried. "I had some indigestion issues, I felt stressed and physically drained, yet having the urge to push my limits as far as I could." She explained, noticing the deeper shade of worry running across the face of her friend in contrast of the interested and pensive look the blonde agent was giving her.

"It has also affected my... my sexual life." She admitted, her cheeks turning crimson when she realized for once more what a nymphomaniac she had turned into recently.

"You mean like that you couldn't..." Ellie asked her, leaving the rest of the sentence unspoken as they all knew what they were talking about.

Ziva shook her head vehemently and smiled at the younger woman. "No, quite the opposite." She replied and immediately smiled mischievously. "I could. Perhaps way too much."

Ellie returned her the smile with a satisfied nod of her head. It corresponded with Tony's current behaviour that was quite relaxed. The man had been in the good mood practically constantly, caring about his colleagues deeply and making sure they had been in good state of mind just as he was. Suddenly, Ellie could tell when he was joking out of pure joy and when it was just a mask to hide his sorrow.

"Either way, I realized that I should start doing something about it." The Israeli returned back to her initial thoughts, risking a glance on Abby who kept her cool as much as she could. "At first I attributed it to the change of environment and my whole life in general. But the feeling is gaining on its intensity rather than disappearing."

She inhaled the seemingly stuffy air into her lungs and blew it out slowly to ease up the tension inside her chest. "So I mulled it over and decided to check out the most obvious option. I took a pregnancy test." She revealed and heard both women to take a sharp intake of breath. "It turned out positive. The other two, as well."

Bishop let out something between shriek of horror and squeal of excitement, hanging her arms around Ziva's neck to embrace her happily. "That's amazing, Ziva! You're going to be a terrific mother!" She exclaimed, pressing the Israeli to her in a joyful hug even Abby Sciuto couldn't be ashamed of.

"Thank you, Ellie." Ziva replied in a muffled tone, making Ellie to realize the smothering effect of the lock of her arms around the woman. She let go of her and both focused their eyes on the Goth who remained silent and didn't let show what exactly she was thinking.

Abby truly appeared to the outside world as stoic at that moment, almost indifferent which didn't fell to her usual pattern of behaviour. The woman had always been very emotional and wasn't afraid to show it. The corners of her mouth twitched, however, as if she was attempting to say something but gave it a deeper thought before letting the words out.

"Are you sure?" She then asked Ziva and put a comforting squeeze to her hand. Their eyes met and the Israeli suddenly understood Abby's wariness. "I mean, it's not the first time you thought..."

The forensic scientist trailed off, mentally transferring a couple of years back to recall the pregnancy scare Ziva had been through after her return from Somalia and once again a few weeks after she had broken up with Ray. Fortunately, those had been just false alarms and Ziva had never forgotten Abby's help because without her, she wouldn't have been able to buy the pregnancy test at all.

Ziva returned her the squeeze and smiled at her in a bittersweet way. "Well, of course I will go to the doctor to make sure as soon as I can but..." She paused for a moment to gather her thoughts and find the right words to say what she wanted. "I just _know_. I feel like this is it, it is nothing like the scares before."

She couldn't quite explain the feeling inside her because it truly was indescribable. It was a weird mixture of happiness, nervousness, responsibility and protection while the scares had been filled with anxiety, fear and uncertainty. Maybe it had a lot to do with who the father was and she guessed that not all women felt that way but she felt her body hum in an unfamiliar frequency that seemed to bring harmony to her whole being.

Another scrutinizing look from Abby followed and then she leapt out to embrace her friend in a tight hug, smile lighting up her face. "I'm so happy and proud of you." She gasped out as she tried to control the tears of joy that threatened to fall down her face, only proving the level of her excitement.

"You are going to be the best aunt ever." Ziva whispered back to her and chuckled, soothingly rubbing the Goth's back when she heard her sob as the emotions got better of her. That was the Abby Sciuto she knew and cherished.

When the pulled away from each other with Ellie smiling at them in content, Abby's teary face inspected Ziva's with sudden concern. "And how do you feel? Are you alright?" She fired her questions at her, hoping strongly that the woman in front of her didn't have any intention to turn this whole thing into another reason why to abandon them for once more.

The Israeli took a deep breath and nervously ran her fingers through her wild curls. "Honestly, I do not know. It is such an odd, contradictory feeling, it is hard to describe." She confessed and it was actually the reason why she had come down here. She needed to _talk_ , to even try to put her emotions and feelings into words and then full sentences to voice it all out. Being home alone with her own thoughts and no one to argue back had turned out fruitless, she'd already tried that.

"On one hand, I am relieved that I finally know what is going on with my body and I do not have to plague myself with constant questions what the hell is wrong with me, being too much of a coward to go the doctor." She expanded her thoughts further and both women nodded in understanding. "On top of that, I know that Tony is going to be thrilled and I am sure he will stand by me when I need it."

She looked down at her hands as if she was weighing the two opposing forces battling inside her, making her feel absent-minded and confused. "On the other, I am perfectly calm. And that alone absolutely unnerves me." She stated in a neutral tone. "Like on the outside, I appear to be fine, but on the inside, I am totally freaking out. It just never manifests."

She could be a very level-headed person, always considering the pros and cons and then choosing the right option to go with. She could also be very impulsive, reacting without thinking at all and rushing into the unknown without a clear plan. But she was always either one or the other. Never had she been both in the same time as she was right now. And it shook her confidence greatly.

"So, you're freaking out because you're not freaking out?" Abby asked her, bewildered with her friend's mindset. Nobody could confuse the hell out of her but Ziva David.

"Of course I am freaking out, what else I am supposed to do?!" Ziva exclaimed passionately, making Ellie wince in surprise. "I am going to become a mother. Mother responsible for this tiny, innocent and pure creature that Tony and I created..."

She paused and took a deep breath to steady her quivering voice because she didn't want to sound like a lunatic on the edge of a mental breakdown. She was _NOT_ in such a mental state, not at all. She'd just opened the gates for the parenting doubts so they could flood her, washing over her in waves and throwing her off balance whenever they had the chance. And she did her best to tame them.

"Just look at yourselves, can you imagine that either of you would just find out that you are pregnant?" She turned to them out of pure desperation to help them understand what she was feeling. "How would you feel?"

To her surprise, it seemed that both women actually seriously considered her question. After all, both were in a serious relationship so such a question wasn't maybe something so unexpected. While Abby stared at her wide-eyed as if she had pondered the possibility of having kids for the first time ever in her life, Ellie chewed on her bottom lip pensively, trying to decipher her current feelings about it.

"You know, she's got a point." The blonde agent turned to the Goth, her eyebrows furrowing with unease. "If I found out now that I was pregnant, I'd pass out. At the very least."

They all three chuckled but Ziva comfortingly squeezed Ellie's hand to assure her that whatever problems her marriage with Jake could have, they would work it out and be the family the blonde desired. Thanks to the mutual understanding that silently passed among the women, the atmosphere was definitely less tensed than a while ago and they just enjoyed the feeling of togetherness.

"I don't think you have anything to worry about." Abby then reasoned, not voicing her personal opinion on what it would be like for her if she was the pregnant one. "You're going to be a terrific mother, Ziva."

Ellie confirmed her claim with an ardent nod of approval but Ziva shrugged her shoulders in uncertainty. "And that is what everybody keeps saying about me but what if I am not?" She voiced the doubts that plagued her, spreading her arms in an expressive gesture full of unfeigned futility. Neither of the women answered her, recognizing the rhetorical answer that didn't required a proper reply – at least not yet.

"I mean, I want children, of course I do..." Ziva continued gravely, buried deep within the nagging thoughts but still addressing her speech towards her friends, "But when you realize that until now you were responsible only for your own life and suddenly, there is this baby who is completely dependent on you for so many years and the only thing you can is to _try_ your best because it goes beyond the lifetime commitment, because you want the baby to be happy even after you are gone... Is not such thought frightening on its own?"

She didn't even know how she managed to find all those words, they just smoothly fell out of her mouth, giving her inner thoughts voice. But she felt lighter after she let it all out, once again proving to herself that sharing her worries with someone was way better than locking them up and letting them to suffocate her for ages. She should definitely do this more often.

Lifting her eyes to look at Abby and Ellie, she could see that both were bewildered with her outburst if she could call it that. But it didn't seem that they wouldn't understand her point, they were just confused that someone like Ziva was so easily thrown off by a casual problem. A problem that many people in the world had been trying to deal with – how to be an excellent parent.

"I guess that these thoughts are quite common for every parent so I am not crazy, but still... Some people just look as if they were born to be parents. I am not sure if I am one of them, though." She admitted that her problem wasn't that unique as someone could expect, making her to fall into a category where she became an ordinary person with ordinary problems. "Like I know what to do with the older kids but the really tiny ones?"

"Oh, shut it!" Ellie exclaimed gently, vehemently shaking her head to sign her disapproval. "What about Victoria? You are so natural with her and the girl loves you!"

Ziva rolled her eyes in Ellie's direction, smiling lightly at the memories of Victoria Elizabeth Palmer sleeping in her arms. The little baby girl had trusted her instantly, not crying to beg for her mother or father to hold her. She'd always been content with Ziva handling her, making the Israeli to be the most touched aunt at that moment as she watched the innocent pink bundle of joy falling asleep.

"She does, right?" She admitted slowly and appreciated the approving nod of both women with a smile. Suddenly, the whole situation seemed to be way easier when she realized that she wasn't such a hopeless candidate for a mother but actually could treat both little babies and teenagers well.

Frustrated with her doubtful personality, she raked her hair and used her fingers to massage her scalp to release all the bad thoughts. "Am I stupid for having these worries?" She asked no one in particular, seeking anyway for an affirmative reply. Otherwise, it would mean she was most likely insane.

"I'd say it's completely normal." Abby voiced her opinion, absent-mindedly squeezing the life out of Bert, the Hippo she had snatched earlier to soothe her own nerves "I mean, I get where you're coming from. I'd be the same in your place."

Ellie validated her words with a decisive nod, pointing her finger at herself to join the club of potential parents full of doubts. Both could understand that the idea of having children had an entirely different outlook than standing in front of the actual fact of being pregnant and so, becoming a mother already. Neither of them then could even consider judging Ziva for her thoughts.

"And hey, you have all of us." Ellie added to boost her confidence, pointing out the importance of their little surrogate family. "The TIVA baby girl or TIVA baby boy is going to be pampered more than Princess Charlotte*."

Ziva ignored the remark about the newest offspring of the British Royal Family and rather focused on the other words Ellie had used in her sentence. "TIVA? What the hell is that?" She inquired curiously, catching the roguish smile on Abby's face.

"Ah, well you know... It's common for fandom to _ship_ two characters together and making up a special name for them by mixing their names together." Ellie ventured to explain with a slight chuckle. "Tony and Ziva make TIVA."

Ziva watched her with eyes wide open, obviously having no notion what kind of emotion she was supposed to express – whether outrage over having a pet name for her relationship with Tony or to be actually flattered. Shipping names hadn't been anything new to her but she would have never expected for people to make up something like it when it came to her.

Ellie, who was evidently lost in her memories, suddenly laughed and sighed wistfully. "When I still worked for NSA, some of our colleagues referred to me and Jake as 'Jallie'." She revealed in a nostalgic tone. She would be lying if she said that she hadn't missed those times, she'd felt secure and happy. On the other hand, the opportunity to work for NCIS was her dream and she was finally living it. "It was adorable."

"Are you and Jake okay?" Ziva asked her worriedly, noticing the subtle tones of sadness laced in between of Ellie's words as she exchanged a meaningful look with Abby.

The blonde NCIS agent shrugged her shoulders and forced herself to return back to reality. "Ah, well... It could be better, I won't lie." She admitted and put her arms around her protectively. "But we're fine, we'll be fine for sure. We just need some more time to deal with our issues."

She hadn't expanded further what the 'issues' were as both women had been acquainted with the ongoing struggles in her marriage due to the change of her job. Jake had had problems understanding why she had left NSA for NCIS without even considering his own feelings and opinions on the matter, and she had had a hard time convincing him that just because she'd decided to change her job, it didn't meant that she'd felt unhappy before.

Suddenly, she had both her arms full as Abby and Ziva went to embraced her to soothe her and support her as much as they could and as the good friends always did. And after the long hugging session, they returned to the discussion over the 'TIVA baby', talking about potential names, clothes, child bedroom, need to move to a different apartment to have more space and so on.

* * *

That evening it was Tony who made the dinner in the DiNozzo household. Actually, he had cheated a little and ordered the meals from the nearby restaurant, setting them on the plate and serving those plates in the dining room. But the fashionable place mats and other decorations on the table were all his doing so he could definitely give himself a medal for the artistic touch.

Ziva appreciated his effort equally and was glad to sit down to such a nicely decorated table with the delicious dinner. She was grateful for his initiative to take care of the food because after all those hours of worrying about her health and then finding out about the pregnancy, her nerves had already been tight more than strings on a guitar. And she didn't want him to catch her nervousness.

It didn't mean that it hadn't manifested at all, though. She had dropped the knife and fork several times during the diner, making her look uncharacteristically clumsy. She had to use all her masterful lying skills to avoid drinking wine without raising his suspicion. And completely intentionally, she kept flexing her stomach to make it smaller and not reveal her motherhood.

However, Tony didn't pick up on any of those signs. His mind often seemed to be elsewhere and although he intently watched her, Ziva had the feeling that he was actually looking right through her as if she was nothing but an apparition created by his fantasy. He also kept adjusting his suit jacket as if it was uncomfortable for him to wear it, but he refused to take it off when she suggested so.

Their dinner wasn't exactly full of tension but it wasn't that kind of leisurely they were used to, either. There was a barrier between them, consisting of the two secrets they were hiding from each other but for good reason. Those secrets were about to be revealed in due time but the right moment had to arrive. Until then, they had to live with the burden of the secret and hopefully not to make the other uncertain.

"So, how was your day off with McGee?" She asked him when she couldn't bear the deafening silence any longer.

He gulped swiftly to prevent the threat of choking on his food, anxiously reaching inside the pocket of his suit jacket with the dark red velvet jewellery box with the ring he had purchased in the afternoon in it. He hadn't had the time to hide it away somewhere, not to mention that he still hadn't come up with the right place to hide it as sharing the apartment with another person meant that the person could rummage through things freely. And he didn't want her to find it.

"Nothing special." He shrugged his shoulders to keep his cool. "He asked me to help him with the kitchen reconstruction they're preparing with Delilah as I apparently have better taste according to his lovely girlfriend."

He loosened the grip on the jewellery box because what he'd just said wasn't exactly a blatant lie. Delilah had actually requested his assistance, seeing the photos of his kitchen and asked him to arbitrate between her and McGee which colour decor would be better as they both had apparently different taste, causing them to argue about it multiple times. And the kitchen needed to be remade to suit more Delilah's needs.

"Where did you disappear to for the afternoon?" He asked her afterwards, keeping the light talk. He was actually curious as she claimed before that she had wanted to work on some paper and that was why he had vacated the apartment to give her peace.

Now it was her time to look all apprehensive as her hand slipped from the table down on her stomach. That damn paper about historical aspects of the French revolution had completely slipped out of her mind but real-life issues were real-life issues and hers wasn't one of those she could completely force out. Having a growing baby inside of her was, after all, quite an issue she couldn't just postpone.

"Procrastination drove me out of the apartment." She replied and smiled at him sweetly. After all, she procrastinated only when she got easily distracted and today's events were enough of a distraction. "I went to see what Abby was up to and she was in the lab with Ellie. We spent whole afternoon together... gossiping."

Her palm spread against the warm skin of her stomach as if she was trying to feel the baby inside and touch him or her. For a moment, she saw Tony frowning at the word 'gossiping' but then he pursed his lips and chose to remain silent. The atmosphere in the air had eased after this light talk as they had both solidified their skills to tell incomplete truths and keep the secrets under the lid.

After all, neither of them had any intention to be secretive for ages. They had had enough lies, half-truths, avoidance and silence in their relationship in the past. The intention to keep their promise to be honest with each other was definitely committing for both and the trust they had established between them wasn't threatened to be broken. The time for reveal was nigh.

_**The End of Chapter 37** _

* * *

* Don't think it needs an explanation but still. Princess Charlotte of Cambridge, full name Charlotte Elizabeth Diana (born 2nd May 2015 – so at the time of this chapter she would be 10 months old), is a member of British Royal Family, second child of Prince William, the Duke of Cambridge and Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge. Currently, the little baby girl is fourth in the line of succession to the British throne.


	38. Chapter 38

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 38** _

There had been once a moment when Anthony DiNozzo Junior declared that he preferred not to be the cliché romantic guy. He had never regretted the statement but he had to admit that it made the proposal preparations hard for him. Being a self-proclaimed movie expert, he could list at least a hundred of movie proposal or similar scenes so there was enough material for him to draw from.

Yet, the idea of copying movie scenes and transferring them to reality felt wrong. Even though Ziva had an understanding for his movie addiction and supported it with spending many evenings and nights with him to watch and rewatch the masterpieces of the film directors, evaluating the performance of the actors and actress, as well as assessing the quality of the uses effects and last but not least learning quotes to know their meaning, it was something very typical only for him.

And proposal, engagement, marriage – they all were about mutual connection, about something that was common for the two people within the bond they share. It couldn't be inspired by something that was dear to just one of them. His struggle was immense, wanting to choose the right moment and appropriate way how to propose to the love of his life, yet all the possibilities didn't feel adequate in his mind.

Then there were grand romantic gestures. Thoroughly planned proposal to the merest detail. A minute after minute schedule of what was supposed to be done to reproduce a specific moment in the lives of the couple. Could it be done for their case? Sure, it could. Tony had tons of material to choose from – he could utilize their first meeting or their first heart to heart conversation. Or he could choose the date of their first undercover operation that had brought them closer.

He could choose her rebirth after saving her from being captive in Somalia. Or the day she chose to remain in Israel to show her how much he had valued their maturing despite all the pain. Or the day and hour when he had met her again in Prague on the Charles Bridge. Another option was just simply choose of one the many days something deeper had happened between them.

And that was the problem of the notion itself – choosing one moment over the other seemed to decrease the importance of the others. Their relationship had arisen gradually and each of the events in their lives had had a significant impact on its form. The impossibility to choose _just one_ was obvious. In his heart, favouring one moment and giving reasons for doing so, would debase the basics of their bond.

It was the time to mark a new date in their relationship calendar, reserving it for the engagement anniversary. Tony gave up on any thorough planning with minute-by-minute schedule of what was supposed to happen on that fateful day and rather let the Fate decide what the ideal day would be. There was no coin toss like in the case of two JAG lawyers* he had met once during a case, though. He just checked their respective schedules and chose a day when she was gone for most of the day so he could make the preparations in peace.

Thursday, March 3rd 2016. Yeah, he had absolutely no connection to this specific date and as far as he was aware, neither did Ziva. She had school for the whole day and it didn't seem as if she had time to stop by the apartment. He proceeded to take a day off at work, not saying a word to anybody about what he was up to, only sharing a secret smile with McGee who had at least guessed the reason for his sudden need to be absent for a day.

In the morning, he went to buy all the necessary equipment he missed at their household to create a romantic atmosphere in the way he envisioned it in his head – and maybe with a little help of Pinterest she had made him to use for inspiration as they had occasionally talked about some changes in the apartment. After the purchase of the bed, he had completely trusted her sense for furnishing rooms.

What he aimed for wasn't original at all but he didn't consider originality and uniqueness of the moment as the essential element. Make it simple – that was his motto. The proposal scenery couldn't be a cliché but he could draw inspiration from it. Take the cliché and alternate it to a better, peculiar version of what they both liked and cherished together.

Candles were first on his list to dismiss as a source of lighting. As much as the romantic impression could be created by them, his practical side knew that it was a literal fire to play with. Their apartment, formerly known as his apartment, was too precious for him to let it be destroyed in a fire caused by careless manipulation with multiple of these wax sticks. And he had no doubt that once the sweet moment of engagement arrived, they would forget about the candles altogether.

However, using the lighting already installed in the apartment wasn't an option he wanted to use, either. It wouldn't add anything to the charged atmosphere he intended to create so the need to come up with a different source of light was clear. Eventually, he went for large lanterns and purchased them in two types – with electric candles and with bulbs. They had introduced somewhat romantically rustic vibes into their household.

They had also accomplished his goal of lighting the apartment up – it wasn't neither dim, nor light as during the day. It reminded him of a sunlit morning when one wakes up before the sun goes up and watches the beauty of sunrise as they had had together in the Jaffa port in December. That was why he punctiliously chose the bulbs and electric candles in the bright white tone, dismissing alt the dimming orange ones.

Naturally, flowers were the next time item on his list. To find an appropriate substitute for the typical red roses cliché, he had to visit a couple of florist's shop until he bumped into one with very helpful and kind ladies who helped him out to pick so he could enhance the proposal scenery. He was so grateful to them that he promised and intended to keep that promise that they would the floral decorations for the wedding.

So when he adjusted the last pair of white lilies in one of the lovely vases and stepped away to inspect the apartment, he was deeply proud of himself. The flowers weren't only breathtakingly beautiful, they also smelled heavenly, almost making him feel dizzy and if that didn't create the fairy-tale like atmosphere, he didn't know what else could. He was actually very moved by his creation.

It looked as if spring came to their home and decided to build its nest here, not caring that the world would be robbed of its wonders. The scenery itself emitted such a pleasant warmth and contentment that no one would ever want to leave once they stepped in inside the apartment. The bright, vibrant colours were like a symbol of their mutual future.

Tony rubbed his hands together with joy as his eyes caressed the results of his efforts. Then, he pulled out the dark blue velvet box and opened it to look at the golden band inside, taking a deep breath to steady his erratic heartbeat. With sanctity, he laid the closed velvet box on a small white decorative pillow placed on the piano so he could have it within reach. Now, he just had to endure the agonizing minutes until Ziva's arrival.

* * *

Ziva gripped the steering wheel with all her might, clenching her muscles to stop the twitching in her hands. The knots in her stomach started to writhe again and she raised one of her trembling hands to put it on her belly in attempt to calm it down. Using all the breathing techniques she had known about, she willed her nervous system to return back to normal.

It had been a while since she had been so close to a mental breakdown. And while the situation had been seemingly even worse because she had been now living the life of two people, it was also the reason for her immense strength to lift her head up and weave her way through the labyrinth of hindrances she had to come across. She was still strong enough to endure the torment she was facing.

The medical examination that confirmed her pregnancy was both joyous and disastrous. To know for sure that she indeed carried her and Tony's baby was indescribably amazing feeling full of happiness. On the other hand, even this good news had the other, dark side that shrouded her desire for permanent happiness with uncertainty and fear. The possible results were unclear, requiring her to just wait and see.

The gynaecologist luckily had enough time to sit down with her and explained everything about the circumstances of her presumably high-risk pregnancy. Not only was she nearing 35-year age line that apparently marked the higher possibility of such a medical condition, she was also diagnosed with probable Asherman's syndrome, an acquired uterine condition during which scar tissue forms inside the uterus, causing infertility, repeated miscarriages or premature births.

She'd undergone one gynaecological surgery in her young adult age and as it seemed, it had left the scars on her uterus. One of the often symptoms were light or often infrequent periods which she hadn't bothered to solve it due to her naturally stressful job and life in general. She had visited her gynaecologist once a year for a check-up and they had never revealed such a thing.

Her new gynaecologist insisted, though, it could happen. The scars were almost impossible to detect as they were really small and they could be visible only thanks to the adjustment of the uterus to the growing baby inside. It was a medical condition they had to keep a very close eye on and observe her state of pregnancy at least twice a week if not more to be sure that everything would be alright.

Her chances to give a birth under normal circumstances were increasing by each passing day and she had to keep that in mind so she wouldn't start panic. But, she could also miscarriage easily in the next ten weeks or she could also give a premature birth in seventeen weeks. The possibility of a positive outcome prevailed on the imaginary scales but Ziva didn't feel any better with even a slightest chance that her dream of having a baby would be crushed to bits.

All in all, she had a pretty good chance to give a normal birth to a healthy baby if she followed the basic rules of a woman with high-risk pregnancy. One still had to remember that a mother-to-be was one of the strongest and most powerful beings walking the planet Earth and if she didn't let it or other circumstances weren't against her, she could easily kill with a single look if her or her baby was in danger.

Despite her gloominess, she chuckled at her own thought as she imagined Tony calling her "a pregnant ninja" while shielding himself against her potential assaults she could manage. Then, her eyebrows furrowed with worry because she still hadn't decided how to break the news to Tony. She had envisioned a happy baby announcement without all the "buts" afterwards.

One thing was clear – she needed a few more days to process what she had learnt about her pregnancy and prepare herself to tell it to Tony and explain it. At least one of them had to be the voice of reason and assure the other that everything would be alright. Only like that they could avoid both of them freaking out and hastily making decision that could inadvertently lead to a wrong outcome. She naturally expected herself to be the strong one as she had surely known more about her condition than Tony.

Adjusting the rear-view mirror, she focused her eyes on her own reflection and narrowed them as if she was scolding herself for being weak. She had to be good at concealing her emotions if she was supposed to convince Tony that nothing was out of the ordinary and she was just tired. He would certainly give her the peace and space for thinking after such explanation, she was sure of it.

After getting out of the car, she shut it behind her and willed her legs to carry her towards the building so she could go inside the apartment and have a very warm, relaxing shower. All she needed at the moment was just uncomplicated, casual movie night with a tasteful, hearty meal and silence so she could process the information she had received in the doctor's office not even an hour ago.

She unlocked the door and stepped inside the living room, shrugging off her jacket automatically and putting inside the wardrobe on the right without observing her surroundings, her head still full with the thoughts from before. Tony's presence was pervasive, though, she could sense his eyes on her as he watched her expectantly from the dining room.

When she turned around, she understood his effort to draw her attention to him. A gasp riddled through her lungs when she saw the lantern-lit rooms and registered the divine smell of lilies. Her ears then pleasantly hummed under the soft tones of instrumental music and his smile she saw when she looked at him, rooted her to the floor and caused her heart to make several jumps.

Whatever he had tried to create here, she knew that it had been done for them. _Perhaps to relax after a couple of strenuous days and regenerate? Did he sense her recent distress and decided to brighten up the dark sky above her head?_ Well, she wasn't about to turn down the offer to be pampered, that was for sure. She was up to some good old-fashioned massage and sweet snuggles with her boyfriend.

However, the gleam in his eyes was so intense, suggesting an entirely different and hidden meaning behind this whole scene that she remained standing wordlessly where she was. She didn't have another chance to alternate her conclusions as he approached her in a few strides across the room, taking her hands in his. A strange, charged aura enveloped him and she wasn't able to work up any reaction against it, nor did she want to.

"Hey." She greeted him, momentarily forgetting about all the plaguing troubles as the intense look on his face enchanted her more than anything.

He didn't say a word back, only kept intently staring at her as if she was the only worthy thing to look at on the whole world. Although she was used to it, the reaction had always been the same as she had to will her knees to stop shaking and force her insides to stop melting away. It took all her willpower to keep herself intact and not disintegrate into nothingness whenever he looked her that way.

Releasing one of her hands, he cupped her cheek and lifted her head upwards in the convenient angle. She tried hard not to sigh in pleasure but the feeling of his soft, luscious lips on hers overwhelmed and she fell into the rhythm of the leisure kiss anyway. Perhaps she had misjudged her current needs because this felt way better than a hot water cascading down on her skin. It produced the same amount of warmth, although of a different kind.

Her whimper of disagreement vibrated between them once he broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against hers. Despite having the notion that he was trying to tell her something, the kiss was a wonderful tool for throwing all the problems she had to deal with it behind her. Even it was a mere minute, she was grateful for having her head full of something else than her worries.

But she had to focus on her battle against the intense gaze of his once more. The urgency that reflected in his eyes was powerful, vital even. What exactly was the subject of his urgency, she had no idea about but her heart suddenly filled with another scare. _What if she wasn't the only one struggling with obstacles on her life path? What if he had some troubling news just as she had; only he figured out the way how to tell her first?_

"Are you okay?" She whispered timidly, naturally afraid of the answer as the back of her fingers caressed his face.

He chuckled slightly and although his watery eyes didn't seem to be very convincing, the smile he sent her was genuine. Pulling away slightly to assure her about his well-being with a nod, his hand slid back down to hers. Then, she felt a tug and obediently followed his silent command, letting herself to be led across the living room towards the piano. As his look still captivated her completely, she didn't notice the dark blue velvet box on the piano's surface.

Her assumption was that he would sit down and play some favourite melody of hers as he had done so many times before. Instead, he reached for something on the piano and hid it in his fist, closing his eyes briefly and taking a deep breath. She watched him, half-amused and half-concerned, wondering what he was up to but she didn't question it. He obviously planned something and she was ready to get surprised.

It wasn't until he suddenly dropped on the ground on his right knee, raising his hands towards her and unveiling the dark blue velvet box, when she knew for sure what he intended to do. Her breath hitched, though, so she wasn't able to stop him and tell him that as much as she appreciated the gesture, it wasn't the right time, the right moment. There were things she needed to tell him first before they could make such a step, especially about her pregnancy.

And so this scene undoubtedly headed for a disastrous outcome. They could only hope that whatever the consequences were, their relationship would be salvageable.

Deafening ringing in her ears caused her lack of concentration and so she didn't hear any of those four words Tony had used to propose to her. Her gaze was transfixed on the golden band twisting in waves at the top with a three little shimmering diamonds aligned in one line inside the box. It was beautiful, completely stunning and she longed to touch it, put it on her finger and forever show it off.

But it wouldn't be right, it would be outright deceitful. He had to know about her medical condition first and then make such life-changing decisions. She would never doubt his love for her but she had seen enough to know that some men simply changed their opinion about marrying to a woman after learning certain facts about their lives and it had nothing to do with love.

After all, love wasn't enough to establish and preserve a happy marriage. There had been other factors that one had to consider, especially when it came to the possibility of children. She had witnessed a break-up of multiple couples that still loved each other but their opinions on having a family simply diverged. And that was why she wanted to discuss the situation with Tony before anything else.

Her current problem was, though, that she needed the information to sink in and was absolutely unprepared for sharing it with someone. How could she explain something she hadn't had the chance to comprehend so far? Shattering his hope for having children with her current inability appropriately clarify the circumstances around her pregnancy was a deed she rejected to carry out.

She looked into his face and realized that he was expectantly staring at her in anticipation of the answer that shouldn't be negative after everything they had been through. It made her realize that she hadn't heard him ask the question, though. "What?" She croaked out in shock, instinctively putting her hands around her throat where her heart seemed to jump.

"Will you marry me?" Tony repeated with distinct unnerved tone in his voice. Her hesitancy and evident absentmindedness added nothing to his expected calmness.

The paralysing shock riddled through her once again when she realized how serious he was about it. Feverishly, she attempted to figure out how to salvage this sweet gesture without breaking his heart. "I... we..." She stumbled over he own words and intensively tried to force the right words through her throat, damned be the explanation about the state of her pregnancy.

Regrettably, it was no avail. Her defensive mechanisms she had developed over the course of her life and she had worked hard to eliminate in recent times kicked in, preventing her to say anything. Instead, the thoughts in her head warped into questions about his motives for the proposal, seeking for an excuse to flip over the whole situation in her advantage and make other people to look bad and foolish.

"She told you, didn't she?" She fired her accusation into his face, gasping right after at her own impudence to suspect Abby of revealing her temporary secret, just as accusing Tony of proposing marriage only because she was pregnant.

"Told me what? And who?" Tony countered, frozen in the same position since he had dropped on one of his knees. She wasn't the only in the room paralyzed with shock. He had anticipated her surprise and temporary loss of words but he hadn't certainly expected her to hesitate and then accuse him of knowing something from someone that would prod him to propose to her. "What are you talking about?"

For Ziva, it was like if some evil entity took over her body and didn't let her to say what she desired. "Do not act stupid, Tony. Abby told you and now..." She quickly clasped her hands over her mouth to stop herself from talking. She was highly disgusted with hearing the words alone.

He frowned but still wasn't losing his hope to save this important from a disaster by honest clarification. Standing up, he put the dark blue velvet box back on the piano and unclasped her hands from the mouth, watching as she nervously nipped at her bottom lip. "I'm not sure what Abby wasn't supposed to tell me and I swear that she didn't tell me anything. Just like I swear she doesn't know about my plans for tonight." He told her as he took her hands in his, even though he could barely stop the increasing anxiety inside him. "What's going on, Ziva?"

Her eyes instantly welled up and her vision was blurred under the stream of tears. The horror took over the last remnants of sanity in her mind and the panic flooded her fully as she realized how much she had just screwed up. She had said things she shouldn't under the influence of her defensive mechanisms and she hadn't said those things that mattered because she simply couldn't find the right ones to appropriately clear the situation up.

"I... I am sorry, Tony." She sobbed through her constricted throat, clenching his hands strongly to prevent herself from a total breakdown. "I cannot do this right now."

It was time to retreat and disappear before she could inflict even more damage than she had. She didn't think about where to go, she just knew that she couldn't stay _here_. Not when her effort to explain herself made her to say hurtful things. Aware of the consequences of doing so, though, she hesitated momentarily and so when she turned on her heel to dart out of the door to the darkness of the night, he easily stopped her by catching her by her arm and turned her towards him.

"Ziva..." He pleaded her with watery eyes, wondering how things could go wrong in a matter of seconds. At least he deserved to know why she was acting like it.

She looked up at him guiltily and he could see that whatever reasons she had for her behaviour, she regretted it. Carefully, he ran his thumbs across her bottom lip to smear the blood away as she rent the soft skin there with her sharp teeth. He willed himself not to start panicking and believe that her rejection (or whatever he was supposed to call it) was rightfully based.

"Please, Tony... Let me go." She pleaded him, her gaze obviously trying to make him understand to trust her without a proper explanation. Yanking her arm, she freed herself from his grip surprisingly easily but after hearing her words, he had no strength to prevent her from doing so. "I really cannot do this right now. It is complicated, I... I am so sorry."

Her voice broke after seeing the way he was looking at her, his eyes filling with the dark gleam as the fear of abandonment worked its way through his whole body, poisoning his mind and heart. It was like watching a good, honourable man turning into a twisted monster capable of anything. She didn't fear what he would do to her to prevent her from leaving him. She was more afraid of what he would do to himself.

That terrifying thought itself had caused some switch inside her and although she still hadn't been able to do much for correct the situation, she had worked up enough courage to rectify the worst damage and assure him that she would be back soon. All this was just temporary and just to avoid more pain. It didn't mean she would leave him forever or didn't love him anymore.

Taking his hand firmly, she closed the distance between them and kissed him lovingly on the lips, not surprised that it took him a little while to react through the haze of confusion he was enveloped in. She did all her best to pour as much love as she could through the kiss, yet keeping herself distant enough to hint that she would be leaving this apartment tonight, anyway.

When she released his lips, she caressed his cheek lovingly and wiped away some of the wetness on her face. "I love you, Tony, and I always will." She confessed emotionally and paused as they both sobbed, struggling with the flashbacks of a similar scene between them on the tarmac in Israel. "And I am not saying 'no', I just... I need time."

Protesting, he forcefully drew her to him and kissed her to which she succumbed for a moment but then she recoiled. "I will be back soon, I promise." She whispered to him urgently, caressing his cheeks with both of her palms. "Just give me some time, please."

With resignation, he let go of her and watched as she casted one last watery look in his direction, grabbing her jacket and keys, leaving him standing in the middle of the living room. Looking around himself in the puzzlement, the scene no longer reminded him of a sunlit morning. Instead, it transformed into a nightmare with no chance of full sun but always with the looming darkness above his head.

* * *

A vibration had woken Tony up as his phone buzzed right next to his ear on the couch in the living room where he had crashed after the events of the last night, distraught and unable to comprehend what in the hell had happened. He felt lousily, his head throbbing from the lack of deep sleep and his insides twisting in knots as the anxiety and worries were omnipresent in his body.

"Ziva?" He croaked hopefully to the phone when he snatched it but immediately frowned when he realized that there was no one on the line. Only his regular alarm was telling him it was "time to get up and go to work".

He swiped the screen to mute the alarm, rubbing his face in a helpless gesture. Turning on his back as he had woken up on his stomach, he stared on the ceiling for a few minutes, trying to determine his mental state. Strangely, he felt apathetic towards his own grief that was eating from the inside. While his heart was bleeding, hurting from the unexpected turn of events, his head felt blank and empty.

After the initial shock he had experienced, the disappointment and constant questioning what he had done wrong and what reasons Ziva could have had for her behaviour to the point of the complete exhaustion, he had passed out on the couch. For a splint second, he had considered following her so he could find her easily and at least know where she had gone into hiding to lick her own wounds, but then he had forsaken the intention.

If she didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be able to find her, especially with the lack of time. It had taken him weeks to recognize the pattern in her trips back in Israel and it had been sheer luck that he had managed to outrun her and reach her just on time. Only because he had stopped tracing her steps, taken the risk and predicted correctly her next destination.

Back then, it was the desire to find her and convince her to come back what had driven him. Now, as only the sad apathy remained within him, he could barely work up any kind of motive why he should do so. He didn't feel any anger, any confusion, just as he didn't feel any hope or strength. All powerful emotions had been sucked out of him, replaced by resignation and slight indifference.

Filled with this odd hollow feeling, he got up from the couch and started his mourning routine. It was like as if Ziva had never been there because he overlooked every single trace of her. If anyone expected him to collide with her pervasive presence everywhere in the apartment from clothes to photos, longingly recalling when she had put this and that here and there, they were simply wrong.

He went to the bathroom and looked into his reflection with the same indifference he felt inside. His skin was deathly pale, contoured by the red bloodshot eyes, puffed up from crying as he had kept replying the events of his failed proposal in his head. His gaze had darkened and held the typical look of a traumatized person that had no tears left to express his suffering.

Still, there was a glimmer a hope. An indestructible flicker deep within his heart, locked up in a cage not as a punishment but for protection against his doubts. Nourished by her words she had said of 'I love you and I always will' through 'I am not saying _no_ , I just need time' to 'I will be back soon, I promise', it kept fighting against all odds and nurtured him with the will and desire to live and operate as a normal person.

Absentmindedly, he managed to finish his mourning routine and before he knew it, he drove his car to the Navy Yard. He had occasional weak moments laced with the urge to text her or call her but he had always dismissed the idea. He had fought hard to defeat the fear of abandonment and he couldn't let it win so easily. To trust her and her words was the only option he had at the moment.

One of the things that bothered him, though, was where she had gone. Apart of Gibbs, he was sure that any of colleagues would let him secretly know that she was staying in their place just to calm him down and prevent him from freaking out. He had no doubt that she was on some safe place where she could work out whatever she needed to but still, he would rather be assured that it wasn't just his surmise.

He made it to work in relatively normal time, luckily having no traffic problems on the way. Like a ghost, he managed to get to the bullpen without uttering a word to anyone and sat behind his desk, murmuring 'Good Morning' under his breath towards his already present colleagues. Desperately, he tried to look as extremely occupied agent without a chance to momentarily speak to them.

But as the time passed, he knew that he either needed a case to land on their desks or reveal the truth. For his ever-so-curious colleagues couldn't keep their comments to themselves and had to let him see that his ghastly appearance hadn't come unnoticed. Their constant questions were annoying him – no matter they came out of the natural friendly concern – and he needed to stop them.

His strength to talk about the events of last night was trifling and he couldn't allow himself to breakdown if he was supposed to keep functioning as a person. The hope inside him also didn't want anyone to know to about his failure because he didn't want them to turn against Ziva, blaming her for one more heartbreak. Trust was the key word and he had to endure this hell if he loved her. And he still did.

A blessing in disguise had eventually arrived in the form of an urgency that required a rapid response from the team. A shooting in one of the Navy recruiting offices, presumably perpetrated by a rejected candidate, had been reported soon enough and so they grabbed their gear and cautiously headed in the direction of the incident, ready for everything.

Little could be done for the poor man who had sat nearby the entrance door, being the first one to get hit. Rest of the recruitment office workers managed to hide and call the law enforcement as soon as they heard the first shot. According to their witness statements, the young man had seemed to freeze the moment he had killed for the first time, giving them the opportunity to run to safety.

As soon as the killer had realized what he did, he turned on his heel and fled, most likely shocked by his own actions and the easiness of it. NCIS and other law enforcement personnel that had arrived to help searched through the delimited area to find any traces of him and ask the bystanders if they had seen anything. A couple of people pointed them in the same direction of one abandoned building where he could be possibly hiding.

SWAT team arrived on the scene to scout the building and find him, to either pacify him if any resistance from his side would occur or give him the chance to surrender and be brought to justice without the use of necessary violence. They created an inaccessible zone around the building where only authorized personnel could enter to prevent the man from a potential escape.

Tony immediately and without thinking volunteered to be the negotiator who would go with the SWAT team inside the building to find the man and talk some sense to him. It disconcerted his colleagues as they could clearly see that he wasn't in the best physical and mental state. Gibbs even took him aside and tried to talk him out of it but Tony was obdurate, refusing to change his decision.

It was _their_ case and he wouldn't let anyone else to take over it. Gibbs could go instead of him but considering his relatively recent injury and related psychological trauma, it was out of the question for him to be the one to go. Tony naturally refused to send a probie like Ellie and while McGee had been skilled enough, Tony's brotherly sense disapproved with any kind of danger for the man he felt responsible for as a brother.

He simply felt the responsibility should fall upon his shoulders. He had been trained in crisis negotiation multiple times and actually had recently undergone one in order to increase his chances to become a team leader in front of the oral board. The crisis negotiation team leader who had arrived on the scene shortly before Tony had made up his mind was familiar with him since his Baltimore's days and respected him highly.

Tony didn't have many problems to convince him to let him solve it while preventing the man talking to his NCIS team so they would warn him about Tony's mental state. Right now, the case had been the main focus and he thankfully forgot about anything else, having zero thoughts about his failed proposal and Ziva. The armed man in the building was the central subject of his attention.

After a short briefing with the SWAT team while Tony was squeezing himself into bulletproof vest, they formed agreed formation and set their way towards the building's entrance. Gibbs took a deep breath and then started to bark orders to the rest of his team to keep them and himself occupied. Even though he had a bad feeling about it, he rather decided to trust DiNozzo and his gut. It was his _new me_.

Meanwhile, the SWAT team backing up Tony scouted the building room after a room in silence, but found each room empty. Tony's senses were sharpened, his ears noticing the barely audible sounds and his eyes registered even the merest details in the darkest corners of the individual rooms. His heart beat erratically but his hands and arms were steady as concrete when he aimed his gun.

Internally, he was processing all the available information from their searching and he also managed to repeat the rules of crisis negotiation in his head. The effect of the first impression was very important – both for him and the man who was hiding somewhere in this building. While his attitude was unvarying, his current mental state and emotions were unhinged but so were the perpetrator's, albeit for different, yet a little bit similar reasons. He could make use of that.

He still had to possess some of his self-control, though, not to allow himself to react aggressively. Next step was to show some empathetic behaviour towards the perpetrator and seemingly understand the reasons behind the crime he had committed. And then, he had to use his exceptional communication skills to make the killer think logically because it decreased the chance of impulsive behaviour.

Actively listen to the killer and make sure that he knew he was being listened to was the key to establish some connection between them. Tony was already constructing a list of the open questions that could help him to initiate the right type of conversation with the perpetrator and establish a firm ground for the following arguments as to why the man should surrender instead of risking getting himself injured or killed.

When they reached the third floor, they heard some agitated soliloquy in the back of the building. Possibly, the perpetrator was trying to calm him down and find some plan how to get out of the situation. With a raised hand bent in his elbow, Tony halted the advancement of the SWAT team and cocked his ears up to listen to the monologue to assess the situation.

Until the rest of his life, he couldn't ever remember what the words he had heard were. The only thing he was sure about that instead of thinking coolly, something inside his head snapped and he acted on impulse. A grave mistake he would regret afterwards and vow to never repeat again. It would prove as a sheer luck that the consequences of his following ill-considered actions were minimal.

Suddenly, he spurred into action without any sign to the SWAT team, bursting in the room where the killer was hiding, talking to himself. "Hands up so I can see them!" He roared and raised his gun at the distraught man who watched the commotion on the street out of the window.

The SWAT team leader hissed at him urgently what the hell he was doing the second Tony had moved but he didn't hear him. The SWAT team members shot desperate glances at each other, communicating through silent looks and trained gestures. Having no other choice but to follow Tony, considering they were his back up, they immediately followed him, their weapons ready to fire in the case of need.

The perpetrator was surely surprised when he saw Tony storming into his hideout but what meaning did it have for a half-mad man who had just found out how easy it was to kill a person. Tony's yelling didn't reach his ears at all and instead, he quickly turned around and raised his gun. Before the cop, or whoever Tony was from his point of view, could react, he fired two rapid shots in his direction.

Tony's rash decision had paid off badly because in an instant, he had been frozen. He didn't seem to expect the man would fire his gun instead of giving up, assessing his potential behaviour poorly. It was too late to duck or move in the attempt to avoid the bullets and he was no Neo to stop their motion mid-air**. Too transfixed to pull the trigger and injure the killer, he resignedly waited for the inevitable.

The first bullet would have hit his stomach if it hadn't been for the bulletproof vest. The impact took its toll, though, forcing Tony to double over in pain as the tissues of his skin fought with the collision, starting to create a large bruise. Paradoxically it proved to be a lucky movement as the second bullet missed him narrowly, grazing the biceps of his left arm. And Tony added a painful scream.

In that moment, the SWAT team entered the scene and didn't hesitate to eliminate the threat the killer had posed to everyone. Yet, the man managed to fire a third shot before getting incapacitated, hitting Tony into his left thigh, forcing the NCIS agent to drop his gun and sink on his knees, letting out another painful scream as he instinctively reached for the newly formed injury on his leg.

The SWAT team leader gestured towards his subordinates to take care of the injured perpetrator while he bent over Tony, contacting quickly the medical team outside that they needed their assistance with one wounded agent and possibly fatally injured man. He answered back all the necessary questions about the seriousness of the injuries and assured them it was safe to enter the building as the threat had been eliminated.

Frowning, he watched the NCIS agent letting out cries of pain as tears streamed down his eyes, assuring him that the medical team was on its way to help him out. At the moment, he didn't have the heart to berate the wounded man who watched his thigh in utter fascination with the pooling blood around, soaking into his trousers, for the reckless action he had taken. After all, Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo had just been punished for that with a gunshot wound.

_**The End of Chapter 38** _

* * *

* Don't mind me here, I wrote this around the time it was announced that David James Elliott and Catherine Bell would reprise their roles as Harmon Rabb Jr. and Sarah MacKenzie in NCIS LA. Never expected to be so severely disappointed by something I waited for 14 years. Be careful what you wish for.

** Obvious Matrix – a 1999 science fiction movie starring Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss and Hugo Weaving – reference here.


	39. Chapter 39

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 39** _

Ziva David hated hospitals. She loathed them because the possibilities of a beloved person leaving her on this world alone had always increased whenever she found herself in one. In no way, though, she meant to disrespect the miraculous work of doctors and kind care of the nurses. The hospital personnel had always been excluded from the reasons why she detested places like hospitals and contrarily, had been the reason why her presence became tolerable.

Her red-rimmed eyes, swollen from the endless streams of tears and lack of sleep in general, watched mutely the commotion behind the glass door that separated the operating theatre accessible only for hospital personnel and the waiting area where the families and friends of the people who were undergoing some kind of operation awaited the news about the patient in suspense.

She detested being the one behind the glass door in the waiting area, idling and having no update. Every excruciating second without clear information, dragging the waiting up to the maddening despair was a personal Hell for her. If she could and would be allowed, she would burst inside the operating theatre, take the tools reserved only for experienced doctors and conducted the operation all by herself.

For it wasn't just _anyone_ undergoing an operation in there. It was a man she would rather die trying to save then watching him die. A man she would rip her heart out for and give him on a silver platter if words weren't enough to prove the amount of affection and devotion to him. A man she loved with every fibre of her being so much it hurt. Anthony DiNozzo Junior.

However, blindness towards her own guilt didn't obscure her vision. She was very much aware of what emotions had driven Tony to the arms of danger, culminating with a reckless behaviour that led her and the others into the waiting area in anticipation of good news about his condition after the gunshot wound he had suffered. But so far, she hadn't let it to consume her, her hopes about him recovering quickly yet needed to be shattered.

Still, it was a nightmare she had to live though, piling up the worries, blame, fear and sorrow connected to both the shooting and the failed engagement. Her world had just turned upside down, the Fate forcing her to accept the mortality of the man she loved. Her most desperate hope at the very moment was that she would be given the opportunity to talk to him again, confess her love to him and accept his proposal.

It was remarkable to realize that one circumstance like this could help her to bring a certain peace into her mind and heart. Suddenly, she saw clearly the pain she had inflicted by her flight last night to both of them and it facilitated for her to understand and accept the condition of her pregnancy. A paradox she didn't anticipated, considering her state of mind.

She wasn't grateful for it, she would rather deny herself the 'pleasure', but it strengthened her in a strange way she couldn't quite explain. Her defences were reinforced, protecting the baby inside her womb against the guilt that plagued her, albeit never fully swallowing her. Despite the fearful tremor her body was seized with, she stood firmly and didn't dare to back down or give up on her hopes.

A soothing hand landed on her shoulder and squeezed it to gain her attention. For the first time since they had arrived here, she tore her eyes off the glass door and the events behind it and turned around to face no one else but a careworn Abby. Her complexion was pale, stressing the bloodshot eyes full of haunting fear and her bottom lip trembled as she tried to hold the tears back.

Both women immediately hugged each other for comfort and to deal with the constant feeling of worry. Burt, who had driven Abby here, gave a greeting nod to Ziva and before he went to sit down next to already present Gibbs, he clenched his fists in an encouraging manner which Ziva appreciated with a smile she didn't even have to pry to her mouth.

McGee who kept pacing around the waiting area like a tiger in a cage and Bishop sitting on the floor with her legs crossed with a laptop in her lap as she tried to curb her concerns about Tony's life, gave the two women a moment alone before approaching them. Abby secretively touched Ziva's belly and then pulled away to prompt a silent question to assure herself that nothing happened to the baby.

Ziva smiled a little in the response and slightly nodded to disperse her fears about her yet-to-be-born offspring. Luckily, the baby was okay and she hadn't registered any sign of potential or threatening damage despite all the stress and anxiety that kept washing over her in large waves. Her womb operated as some sort of a shrine for the creature inside who tirelessly fought for her or his life, untouched and resilient to any external influence or powers.

Abby was then greeted by Ellie and McGee, followed by a tight and assuring hugs. Naturally, she started to ask questions what had exactly happened and if they had any fresh news about Tony's condition. Before anyone could provide an answer, distressed Senior turned around the corner and joined her in the interest to find out how his son was faring.

Sick with worry, he briefly greeted with everyone in the waiting area and engaged Ziva in a hug, whispering words of comfort into her ear, although he was scared to death for his son's life. In return, she briefly informed him and everyone else in the room that Tony was currently in the operating theatre in the care of the surgeons who were working on extracting the bullet from his leg.

She couldn't provide any explanation as to why Tony had gotten shot, though and so Tim and Ellie took charge of the flowing conversation to share what they knew about it. Ziva, who had spoken with the SWAT team leader earlier when she first arrived to the hospital, turned away from them, her knees weakening due to the wave of sickness that washed over her. It had been enough for her to hear it once but she understood that Senior and Abby had the right to know, as well.

Rather, she retreated from the little group and allowed her legs to rest by sitting on the empty seat next to Gibbs, trying to sort out her thoughts. As it seemed, no one blamed her for what had happened to Tony and that showed one thing for certain – they didn't know about his intention to propose to her last night and he hadn't shared with them that his plans had failed.

In the opposite case, she would be most certainly blamed for the whole situation and forced to tell the truth about what had led her to not accept the proposal. Although the team had mentioned, as well as the SWAT team leader, that Tony's actions had been rash and ill-considered, probably caused by his mental state, none of them had thrown a suspicious glance at her. Not even the fact that it had taken a while to her to pick up her phone seemed dubious to them.

"He's gonna be fine." Gibbs suddenly stated his first words since she had come here. His tone was distant as he stared in front of himself with his eyes wide opened, clutching the cup of coffee in his hand as some kind of a life-saver.

She looked over at him and met his searching gaze as he focused his eyes on her after long minutes of studying the invisible point in front of him. Tony should be fine, his injuries weren't that severe but one never knew. And then she realized that while her friends hadn't probably considered that she might have played a role in reasons for Tony's reckless behaviour, Gibbs had considered this option from the very start.

And as if Gibbs was waiting for her to figure it out, he pierced his blue eyes through her sternly. "What happened between you two?" He fired instinctively, treating her like prey trembling before a predator he was when it came to interrogations.

She found herself powerless against his assault, the guilt being the dominating emotion within her. It strengthened her against everything but verbal attacks like this one. And it was significantly different from the situation a couple of months ago because this time, he hadn't participated on Tony's heartache so she couldn't retort with a counterattack. To tell him the truth was the only option that made sense.

"He proposed to me." She muttered quietly, still in shock over it. She had expected it but not so soon, not in the most inconvenient moment she could think of.

Gibbs' eyes widened but not in surprise over Tony's decision. He sensed it was coming, he noticed DiNozzo's enigmatic anticipation lately and couldn't find any other reason for it. What surprised him was the fact that he had apparently failed. "And you rejected him?!" He hissed angrily, trying to keep his voice low enough so none of the present ones would overhear them.

She shook her head in a negative response but paused indecisively right after. In all honesty, she still hadn't completely understood what had happened last night. "Not exactly, I... I needed time." She argued weakly, unable to look into Gibbs' face anymore and rather focusing her eyes on the tiles that created the waiting area's floor.

"What the hell for?" Gibbs didn't hesitate to question incredulously. If she claimed she loved him the way she did, then she should have accepted without a second thought.

She swallowed the sob that threatened to escape and willed the tears forming in the corners of her eyes to remain where they were. "I am pregnant, Gibbs." She confessed shakily and risked a glance at him as her hand unintentionally landed on her stomach as a sign of protection. "He does not know yet. I did not know myself until a few days ago."

His posture relaxed, no longer so tense because he was beginning to understand. At first, he felt a great joy but then he realized something was wrong. He could sense the 'but' miles away from here, the reason why she hadn't told DiNozzo, yet. And her gloomy expression that didn't have much to do with DiNozzo in the operating theatre at the moment was more than telling. The story hadn't been over yet, there was something more, something sinister.

"It is a high-risk pregnancy. There is a chance that I will not be able to..." She faltered and let out a sob with the tears streaming down her cheeks. Gibbs was at her side at once, putting a comforting hand on her back while stroking her hair with the other as she snuggled against him.

He let her to sob and cry however long she wanted, sending a warning glance at the rest of the people in the waiting area to abandon any intention to join them. To them, it looked as if Ziva had lost her composure and Gibbs was there for her to comfort her. Nothing less, nothing more. They didn't need to know for now the behind-the-scenes information about the proposal and pregnancy.

"What are the chances?" He whispered to her with a fatherly interest to find out how bad her condition actually was.

Taking a couple of short but deep breaths to loosen the tight invisible grip on her throat as she wiped away the wetness of her face, she squeezed gratefully Gibbs' hand. "Miscarriage in the next ten weeks and premature birth in the next seventeen." She informed him, her voice quivering as she shot a look on the glass door to see if the doctor didn't come with some news.

He looked up with her but saw no one so he returned back to letting the information sink in and doing the math about her pregnancy based on his previous experience. "How far are you?" He asked her, somewhat confused about the results he was getting but what did he knew about female body, after all.

"Almost at the end of the first trimester." She whispered as if she couldn't believe it herself. There was a baby growing inside her for almost three months, a baby conceived with nothing but love and it pained her that there was a possibility that he or she wouldn't ever see the light of the day.

"You didn't know that...?" He asked her, brows furrowed in puzzlement. It was an unfamiliar area for him but when Shannon had been pregnant, she somehow knew it right away.

Even in the terrible moments like this one indisputably was, she managed to chuckle at Gibbs' confusion. The ever-knowing Leroy Jethro Gibbs was baffled with such a common thing as pregnancy. "It is hard to explain. There were some hints but nothing serious that would clearly tell me that I am with child." She said with a telling look into his eyes.

He understood. The life changes that she and Tony had been through in the past three months were significant and turned their worlds upside down. No wonder she hadn't discovered about her gravidity sooner. And if she confirmed it recently, immediately being thrown into a whirlwind of uncertainty whether the baby would even be born, then he could comprehend why she needed her time before making a decision to marry DiNozzo.

Of course, he would prefer the fairytale for them, the harmonious life-style with a model family from dreams. But it wasn't meant to be, apparently, and in a way, he could also be blamed for that. However, he was ready to rectify some of his past mistakes and support them in the best way he could because they deserved at least a small piece of such a beautiful life.

Meanwhile, Ziva replayed the events of the last night in her head and struggled with the guilt that plagued her. "I could not tell him yes at that moment, I... Being informed about the state of my pregnancy about an hour before he... And now he is..." She started to sob during her defence speech, the rest of the words swallowed, unsaid or unintelligible.

Gibbs quickly pulled her into a hug, rocking her gently to soothe her. He had reversed his opinion already and instead of being mad at her, he rather rushed to be the comforting pillar she needed at the moment. The stress load on her shoulders had to already be immense, so there was no need to burden her with more. Her health or her unborn baby could get the worst of it and he couldn't let that happen.

"It's okay, I get it." He whispered to her as she soaked his shirt with hot, sad tears. His heart was breaking for his two children but he needed to stay positive. All battles hadn't been won yet. "He's gonna be okay, I promise. But you have to tell him the truth once he's awake."

She nodded in agreement as she tried to gain control over her emotions for once more. "I know and I will." She confirmed with a hiccup, accepting the offered napkin from Gibbs she could blow her nose to and wipe away the wetness on her face.

Staying huddled in his embrace for the rest of the time until the doctor finally appeared from behind the glass door gave her enough strength to immediately jump up and race across the waiting area towards the man in the white gown. She hated his stony, neutral expression because she couldn't read whether the surgery had gone well or not. But she understood that the doctor was a professional who couldn't afford to easily succumb to the emotions.

"Family of Special Agent DiNozzo?" He asked everyone in the room and suppressed a smirk when he saw everybody present gathering in front of him. Before they had anaesthetized the patient, he'd deliriously corrected the doctor to call him 'special agent' and warned him that 'horde of people' would wring his neck if the surgery didn't end up well.

"I'm his father." Senior shook the doctor's hand and assured him with a nod that whoever else had been present, they all wanted to know how Tony was feeling so there was no need to keep any protocol about health condition discretion.

Ziva forced her way through everyone to stand right in front of the doctor. "How is he?" She asked with a shaking voice, trying to read the papers in the doctor's hands upside down.

"He's fine." The doctor assured the gathered group in front of him before anything else. Then he looked into the papers to check the information he was about to give them. "The most severe injury was the gunshot wound to the left thigh. Luckily, the bullet stayed inside otherwise he would suffer a significant blood loss. We took it out and did our best to patch him back up."

He could feel the initial wave of relief, immediately replaced by another wave of worry about the recovery process. "We did the same with the graze on his left arm." He continued calmly, still scanning the papers with his eyes, occasionally looking up to maintain the direct contact. "He also has a large bruise on his stomach due to the impact of the bullet with the bulletproof vest."

Taking the paper in the front by the corner to turn it and see what was written on the page below it, he smiled warmly. "All in all, he was quite lucky. His wounds should heal without a problem and without any serious after-effects." He announced as he released the papers and lowered his hand next to his side, assuring them that the recovery shouldn't be difficult.

Medically, it shouldn't pose any problem for him to return quickly back to normal life. The doctor couldn't judge the mental side of the injury, though. But as far as he knew, the agencies had always had special departments to take care of their agents, not to mention that the hospital had also provided a standard psychological help. So, he didn't fear for DiNozzo's ability to pull himself back together and chase the criminals in his jurisdiction in no time.

The group seemed to be satisfied with his report and almost free of the tension that had been smothering them for the whole time. As an experienced surgeon, he knew that the next questions would lead to the opportunity to see the patient, so he provided an answer without being asked. "He cooperated very well during the operation, although we had to apply general anaesthesia to relieve the pain he was feeling. He's being transferred to a post-op room where you can visit him once he's awake."

Giving them the direction to the post-op room where Special Agent DiNozzo was now lying, he added the anaesthesia should wear off in a couple of hours so it would still take some time before they could speak to the patient. He left the rest to the nurses as they knew better than him. After the acceptance of several thanks from the group, he returned back to the operating theatre as he had another surgery ahead and needed to refresh.

* * *

The steady beeping annoyed Ziva no more. Shivers ran through her every time she found herself in a silent room with analogical clock, the second hand hammering its way to her head or in a bathroom with a notoriously infamous dripping faucet that was often unrepairable, driving everyone hearing the drops of water falling down crazy. She was no different in this than any other human being.

But this was different. The sounds coming out of a medical monitor measured the vital signs. They were the audible proof that the man connected to the device was alive and breathing. Albeit pale that not even a pinch would colour the skin with red marks, he breathed evenly and a small smile graced his lips as if he knew that he was out of the worst with only the good ahead of him.

Ziva ruffled his hair softly, still gripping his hand with devotion she'd never felt for anyone else but him. For now, she could just watch his fragile, battered figure for he was still sleeping. About an hour ago, he had roused from his anaesthesia-induced coma but the doctor was the only one who had talked to him. He had informed Tony with his condition and the results of the medical intervention and then, Tony had fallen asleep for once more.

The nurses couldn't stand the worried Ziva constantly peeping inside the room to check up on him, so they allowed her to be inside with him and wait until he woke fully. The rest of the team stayed outside, going out to take a bite of something and also provide some food for Ziva who refused to leave her spot by Tony's bed. Endlessly watching him, barely listening to the biological needs of her own body, simply filled her with content.

She almost passed out when he suddenly squeezed her hand back and his breathing laboured as he woke up from his deep slumber. With a breathless anticipation, she bent over him to caress his cheek to let him know that he wasn't alone and when he opened his eyes, he could expect to see a person in front of him. It was definitely a better sight than staring on the white ceiling as the realization of what had happened dawned.

He let out a sleepy groan and squinted his eyes before opening them, having no experience with a light for the past few hours. His body was sore, it hurt just breathing evenly but in the same time, the pain was quite dull so he guessed that the painkillers were keeping him sane. There was no temporary loss of memory, he was aware of what had happened and how he'd ended up in a hospital.

Despite being stupefied, he _sensed_ her next to him for the whole time. And although he could imagine the anger she felt for the horror he had inflicted in her, not questioning her right to feel that way and actually understanding her, he also didn't deny his right to demand answers. It wasn't his intention to bring this conversation upon them that way, just like it wasn't his intention to get himself almost killed.

Taking advantage of the situation ahead couldn't be something he would ever blame himself or she would ever hold against him. The decisiveness in her posture when he finally focused his eyes on her revealed enough to him about her regret of yesterday's events. The same went for him and his stupid decision to recklessly attempt to pacify the killer all by himself.

"Hey." She smiled at him, tears of happiness already forming in her eyes. He could be mad at her but instead, all he saw in his tired eyes were tenderness and love. And she couldn't get enough of that look.

He opened his mouth but instead of any words, a croak came out. His vocal cords hadn't been used properly for the past few hours and neither did he swallow to keep his throat naturally wet. She quickly gestured him to stay silent and reached for a bottle of water with a straw. Holding it in front of him, she helped him to take a couple of sips to wet his whistle and be able to speak.

Unable to take his eyes off of her, he maintained the eye contact as much as he could, apart from the annoying need to blink. He couldn't help but find a specific amusement in all of this. They were like pair of lovers so happy to see each other again and wanting nothing but to fall into each other's arms, yet a barrier between them didn't allow them to do so because they needed to work certain things out.

The familiarity of the ground they were currently standing on was simply comical. It didn't matter how many times they were trying to divert the circle through a different current. They always ended up in the same place, once again gathering all their willpower and strength to encounter with their own demons in another battle. And it wasn't tiring at all. Contrarily, it made them stronger together.

"I hope I'm not dead because you look like an angel." He whispered, his voice thick with emotion as he took her hand and imprinted his kiss onto her palm.

She gave out a tearful chuckle, aching for his love more than anything. "I may look like one but I am not. And you are not dead because if you were, I would kick your ass back down from Heaven or back up from Hell to make you return to me." She said, her voice betraying her as it turned into a high-pitched tone she had to force through her constricted throat. "Don't you even dare..."

A sob riddled through her body as her puffed eyes watered with another waterfall of tears. He was unable to stop her, fighting against his own urge to cry, not to mention his battered body wasn't in the best condition to spur into any physical action. Weakly, he reached towards her cheek and she leaned in to facilitate the action he wanted to take so he could wipe away the tears on her skin.

"I know I did a stupid thing." He admitted in a raspy tone, one she would absolutely considered as a huge turn-on if they weren't in this situation.

She ignored his apologetic gaze because this was the time for questions and real answers. "Why did you do that? Going against protocol is not you, Tony." She asked him as she took his hand and helped him to caress her cheek, looking at him sadly. "You stormed inside as if you had nothing to live for. At least that's what the SWAT team leader told me."

The man had stopped by to ask about Tony's condition. Ziva had taken the advantage and interrogated him about what had happened in the abandoned building. He had hesitated to tell her but when he'd learnt that she used to be NCIS, as well as Mossad, he'd told her everything she wanted to know. Finally, he also assured her that it would be a minor stain on Tony's career and it shouldn't influence his advancement in any way.

Tony didn't answer at first because he wished he knew what kind of stupidity had seized his mind in that moment. It could have been the words the killer had said in combination with the stress, adrenaline, lack of sleep and partial heartbreak that had simply forced him to act on impulse instead of using any kind of logical thinking. One thing was for sure – he wasn't suicidal and never had been.

Maybe it was a subconscious action, knowing that he would end up injured and she would be forced to come back to him and be straight with him about her motivations. But he couldn't but feel ashamed of himself, even more ashamed for such a thought than the rash action he had performed. It was a form of an emotional blackmail. No matter that it was probably subconscious, he hated himself for being so low.

"I'm... I'm sorry." He croaked up an apology and broke the eye contact, slipping his gaze towards the hospital room door. "Maybe in that moment, I didn't have anything to live for."

She gasped in response, unable to accept that things between them could get so twisted. They hadn't spent almost three months together, trying to fix each other for nothing. After everything that had been said, that they had been through, she refused to believe that he would give up on her so easily and just plunged head-first into the first life-threatening situation he could absolutely on purpose and willingly.

"What are you talking about?" She willed herself to calmness, bending over him further so she could partially reconnect their eyes. "I did not reject you, Tony."

Despite her consuming anxiety, her immense sorrow and grief, her plaguing guilt, she had done anything that was in her powers to assure him that her love was unconditional and constant. She had made sure that her stampede didn't mean 'no'. Doubtlessly, she could have handled the situation way better but considering the circumstances, she had done all she could to minimize the damage.

Obeying her silent command as the curiosity got better of him, he looked up at her and saw the profound love, sincerity and honesty in her eyes. He wished he felt different because what she'd just said was true. And maybe, just maybe, it wasn't his aching heart that had thrown him into the whirlwind of life-threatening danger but the apathy that dulled his senses and stripped him of any logical judgement.

"I know you didn't." He confirmed and reached out his hand to caress her cheek apologetically. "But it felt like you did and I didn't know how to deal with it. I honestly don't know what had gotten into me."

Tears he couldn't prevent from falling burnt him in the corners of his eyes and he rapidly blinked to get rid of them, feeling the scorching wetness streaming down his temples and into his hair. She cried, too, her bottom lip trembling vividly as she pulled out a napkin to wipe away his tears she couldn't stand to look at while he kept repeating his previous action of a movement of his thumb across her cheek.

They were both immensely hurting and worst of it all that the hurting came out of things that should cause happiness, not pain. And yet, here they were with their hearts bleeding, tears falling and repentant effort in order to express their remorse over the mishandling of the whole situation. In a sense, they were luck to experience a similar thing before because they had been taking their time to talk. Communication was the key, not drawing wrong and baseless conclusions.

"I am so sorry, Tony..." She apologized sincerely, rapidly drying off her and his face in shaky touches of the napkin against their skin. "I really did not intend for things to go like this but... It was all just a bad timing."

Suddenly, she grew solemn and rigid, reading herself to break the news to him and satisfy his curious and questioning looks. From the very first moment she had learnt about her pregnancy, she'd conjured a numerous images in her head how to announce this good news to Tony and actually, even the discovery of her health problems hadn't stopped them. And yet, this one seemed somehow the right one despite all the circumstances.

She took a deep breath – twice as she lost her firm footing immediately and had to exhale – and took both of his hands into hers. "There is something I need to tell you." She announced and watched the raging storm of emotions in his face because his vivacious imagination had already been creating scenarios.

The crucial three words just didn't want to seem come out of her mouth although she had said them multiple times since she had known it. They got stuck between her brain and her vocal chords and it would take a great deal to get them out. But she had to do something, otherwise it would destroy the suspenseful moment and the right tension would be replaced with something far worse.

So instead, she ventured for a physical action and took his left hand as it was closer and placed it on her belly. He watched her with inquisitive, yet puzzled look, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion as he tried to guess what the purpose of her gesture was. The correct thought had emerged almost immediately but just as quickly he squashed it with his doubts.

Noticing the barely visible shake of denial, she covered his hand with his and tried to express the announcement with words for once more. "I am pregnant, Tony." She said in an assuring tone, surprising herself with the steady voice.

It took an eternal moment in Tony's life to process the news. Initial shock was replaced with joy, then replaced with confusion, only to return back to joy and eventually settling on somewhere in between those two prevailing emotions. Joy was the first one that managed to get through his stiffened staring as he looked up at her to get the confirmation from her gorgeous smile.

She had to curb him because if he wasn't battered to the core, he would jump out of the hospital bed, pick her up and twirl her in circles of happiness. Unfortunately, he had to reserve himself to a painful sitting position as he hung his arms around her with a joyous chuckle, kissing away all the remaining tears and the new ones from her face, eventually capturing her lips in a passionate kiss.

His hands scrabbled around her stomach as he tried to feel the baby inside by touch but it was still too soon although he could feel the slightly hardened bulging belly. He couldn't believe that it was happening, that he was about to become a father. This feeling had stupefied him enough that his confusion remained suppressed and for now, didn't question why she hadn't said 'yes' and then announced him the great news. It would be the most perfect and happiest moments of their lives.

Even though she tried to stop his kisses to explain further what was going on, he was relentless in his kissing activities and so she resigned for anything for the time being. After all, it was a reason for celebration. Her pregnancy might not be perfect but it was pretty much real, just as the fact that he was alive and well, only bruised and he displayed his affection and devotion for her without being mad at her.

When he finally had enough, he drew his face to his and leaned their foreheads against each other. "I love you. You're amazing and I..." He whispered to her emotionally, forgetting and forgiving everything else because this news trumped everything he could ever dream of.

She interrupted him with a shushing sound, putting a finger on his lips. "There is more to it, Tony." She said in a serious tone, smiling apologetically to show that she felt sorry for what she was about to say. "And you should know it before..."

Words had let her down once again because it wasn't easy to start talking about the failed proposal just like that. Seeing his pained expression, she softly pushed his shoulder and forced him to like back down on the bed because the abdominal pain was apparently worse than he was letting on. She already knew the differences between the painful looks he was giving while feeling either physical or emotional pain.

Then, she assumed her seat on the chair next to his hospital bed and took him by his hand. He looked at her with great anticipation, wondering why she was suddenly so serious but once she started to talk, he understood. Without interruption as he listened to her attentively, apart her own temporary moments of weakness, she described to him the conditions of her pregnancy.

Maybe it was her chance to accept those facts she was narrating or the fact that saying all the medical terms aloud made it sound somewhat... distant. As if it didn't actually concern her or their baby. However, it definitely facilitated the explanation of the individual problems in question and in the end, she could take a deep breath of relief that she had managed to get through it.

Tony stood persistently silent, although his mind was flooded by more and more questions in order to understand her condition better. He had to come with the terms that he couldn't do anything to improve it, anyway. It couldn't be fixed or restored with a wave of magical wand. It was a fact they had to deal with and do their best in order to help Ziva's body to deliver the baby without any troubles.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He croaked eventually because it was a question he could actually get an answer for.

She inhaled and exhaled deeply twice, turning around to get the bottle of water to let him drink so he could wet his sore throat. "You did not give me a proper chance, Tony." She told him without any sign of reproach in her voice, simply stating factual information. "This whole mess is nothing but a bad timing."

His eyes prompted her to talk further while his mouth glued itself to the straw and drank in the large gulps of water. That was the second time she mentioned 'bad timing' and he desired to know the timetable of the disaster they had gotten themselves into. He wanted to know if he was supposed to notice any hints that would tell him to halt the proposal preparations and prevent the subsequent events.

"It did not occur to me that I could be pregnant until a week ago." She admitted to assure him that she hadn't been keeping from him this information for long. It was still too fresh for her, as well. "So I went to buy one of those pregnancy tests from the drugstore. And it came out positive."

He nodded in understanding and handed her the bottle of water over to sign that he had enough. She took the bottle, pulled out the straw and took a swig before screwing the bottle cap back on. For a moment, she pondered whether to tell him that Abby and Ellie had already been aware of her pregnancy and so he wasn't the first person she had just told to. But there had been enough of half-truths between them and while this one couldn't be that harming, it could become a seed of a bigger problem and she didn't want to do anything of such sorts.

"I felt oddly... at peace but I freaked out in the same time, so I... I needed to talk to someone about it, someone who would understand me." She went on, the traces of the strange feeling she was riddled with when she had found out about her pregnancy, making her shiver. "And I could not talk to you as I wanted to make sure at the doctor before telling you."

He smiled faintly, reaching for her delicate hand to squeeze it in comprehension. After all, he would have done the same in her shoes and because he knew exactly what day she was talking about, he quickly put two and two together. "That means Abby knows, I guess." He assessed with a smirk on his face. He suddenly understood the long, inquisitive gazes Abby was sending him for the past few days.

"So does Ellie." Ziva confirmed with a nod, playing with their intertwined fingers pensively. "She was with Abby at that moment and I did not want her to feel left out."

Another smile, this time full of pride, appeared on his face. He couldn't work up enough anger to be mad at her for confiding with such news to some of their friends. Instead, he was glad that she didn't trust to Abby only but also included Bishop who sometimes felt out of the place since she had been relatively new addition to their little group. Plus, both were women so they understood way more the female side of things than he ever could.

"Anyway, I made an appointment with my doctor immediately but she could not find any sooner date than yesterday." Ziva continued, scrunching her nose when she looked at the clock and realized that 'yesterday' no longer applied as it was past midnight. "I was her last patient that day so she sat down with me and took her time to explain as much as she could to me."

The doctor and her forthcoming behaviour to her as a patient was a copybook example of a doctor one should respect and pamper. She had seen how much Ziva had been thrown off balance due to the news about the high-risk pregnancy and sacrificed her personal time to consult with her the necessary details and answer her questions. It hadn't had the immediate effect of calming down but it certainly played a role in Ziva's sudden acceptance over the past few hours.

"All I wanted that evening was to come home, snuggle with you and watch a movie in silence. I knew that although you could be worried, you would give me the peace I sought in order to deal with the news and prepare myself for telling you." She said and closed her eyes as she shook her head in hopelessness. She could forever try but in the end, she could never understand how one's life could be overturned in the matter of seconds and all because of a bad timing.

He licked his lips and with a gesture asked her for the bottle of water again. Knowing where she was heading with her words and imagining how she must have felt made him realize that she had had to go through inconceivable anguish. One that hadn't been caused only by the news about her pregnancy but also by the deed of not accepting his proposal. If his pain could be compared to nine circles of Hell, her pain had had to be at least twice as much.

"Next thing I knew is that you dropped on your knee and asked me to marry you." She sniffed, once more overwhelmed with emotions. "And it was all so beautiful, so perfect, from the decorations to the ring and I... I hated to ruin it but I had no other choice. I could not go through with it, not in that very moment..."

He stopped her with a shushing sound and a strong squeeze of her hand because he could hear the sobs before they even arrived. There was no reason anymore to relive the disaster they had been through, he understood everything and couldn't be angry with her for the life of him. Eventually, he even forgave her the decision to abandon him with his doubts because he couldn't think of any better way how to deal with it, either.

"As you said, it was nothing but a bad timing." He smiled soothingly at her and she stood up to kiss him gratefully on his lips. Any other man in her life would be probably done with her by this time but not Anthony DiNozzo Junior. He was a Saint.

Working his way through the stupid cords that connected him to the monitors, he raised his hand and slipped it in her hair to find her scalp so he could press her closer to him. Her taste soothed his pain – both physical and emotional – in an unimaginable way and while the common agreement claimed that time was the great healer but he begged to differ. The kisses of the woman he loved were the beast kind of therapy for him.

When they parted, he looked into her eyes and a silent understanding, forgiveness, as well as promise passed between them. For once more, words weren't necessary anymore in the greater scope. They had talked their problems out, aware of their mistakes they had made not out of spite but in order to prove themselves be worthy of each other's love. Maybe it was destructive but it was _their_ destructive and that was what they were and wouldn't have any other way.

"Okay, so what do we have to do in order to help the little one? Any recommendations?" He asked curiously and didn't resist touching her belly again. His father mode maybe wasn't exactly fully operational just yet, but it was starting to show.

Feeling his hand, she covered it with hers and smiled at him while she caressed his face gently. She was relieved to see that he wasn't just as pale as earlier, the colour had already been returning to his lovely cheeks. "Primarily, we have to be careful. Ease our life pace and learn to relax. Any kind of highly stressful situation is a threat." She told him with a meaningful look in her eyes, albeit without any sign of reproofs.

It took him a while – attribute it to his recovery – to understand the message between the lines but when it did dawn on him, you would hardly find a more horror-stricken man in the world than him. Not only his reckless behaviour had caused the large bruise on his stomach, a gunshot wound on his thigh and instigated fear for his life in the hearts of his closest friends, it had also left his girlfriend worried sick. Girlfriend who was pregnant with their child.

"Shit, oh my... Are you okay?" He questioned her with guilt in his eyes, desperately trying to assure himself that no harm had been done to her or the baby in any way.

She smiled at him in response and added an assuring nod. "Yes, I am." She confirmed and her love for him grew even deeper when she saw him take a deep sigh of relief. He didn't even dare to think what else could have happened and admired the strength she had been endowed with.

"For now." She suddenly added with a stern tone lacing her soft voice. "Because I definitely have nothing against you saving yourself the trouble and let such a thing happen ever again."

He chuckled in response – a natural reaction to the irony of the statement, nothing more. It could happen any time again and he could do nothing about it because it was just a factual reality of his job and he wasn't about to give it up, knowing that she didn't want him to do so, either. Yet, he was becoming aware that from now on, every single time he would face a life-threatening situation, he would be emotionally attached to his wife and his daughter or son than ever before, preventing him from being reckless.

"I am serious, Tony." She lectured him with even sterner tone because she understood his chuckle in her own way. She couldn't afford to lose him, not ever again, not after everything they had been through. His incautious way of life had to be stopped and that also involved him risking his everything for her. She was already happy with all that he had given her, his heart being the most precious of all.

"I know, I know." He waved her off and took her hand to hold it firmly and kiss her knuckles gently. "And I promise. I also promise to have a better timing next time for... you know."

Her free hand shot up to her neck and for a second, he thought she was choking but then she looked at him with a searching gaze before proceeding further with a smile as if she was assured that she could do what she had in plan. "Actually, I took some liberty and..." She said, releasing his hand so she could pull out the necklace beneath her shirt. With the traditional Star of David on the golden chain, he could also spot the engagement ring he had purchased right next to it.

"You found the ring..." He whispered, closing his eyes momentarily to search in his memory where he had left it for the last time. As far as he could recall, it had been probably on the piano, mocking his entire downcast existence on the couch.

She nodded in affirmation because she had left the hospital for a brief moment to pack some necessities from the apartment to make Tony's stay in the hospital easier since they weren't sure how long it would take to discharge him. In any other case, she would insisted on never leaving the hospital premises to be near Tony to be sure she would be the first one to see him when he woke up and let someone else to take care of it.

However, she wasn't sure whether he had removed all the proposal scene decorations, including the ring or what state even the apartment was. The last thing she needed at the moment were questions after anyone else would visit the apartment to find out what exactly had happened last night so she had rather taken up the task on herself. And it had paid off greatly.

Reaching behind, she unclasped the chain from around her neck, carefully extracting the ring without losing the Star of David. As she clutched the round object made out of gold in her palm, she positioned the necklace on her neck and clasped it back. Then, she started to touch the ring with her fingers nervously, throwing side glances at him to find out what he was thinking about her bringing the ring here with her.

"It is beautiful, by the way." She commented after a pause of silence as he kept staring at her with an unreadable expression, only shifting his position to feel more comfortable.

The golden band twisting in waves at the top with a three little shimmering diamonds aligned in one line had already taken her breath away the first time she had seen it. After examining it further, she had fallen in love with it even more when she had discovered the three words 'Past. Present. Future.' engraved on the band and couldn't help but think how perfect and thoughtful it was. He had really thought the proposal through, it hadn't been just a hot-headed decision.

"Thank McGee for that, he helped me to choose." He admitted with a mild smile on his face, still uncertain how to react, wondering what she intended to do.

An acknowledgement of the fact came from her with a smile and a short nod before she lowered her eyes on the ring again. "Anyway..." she began after another mute moment, interrupted only by beeping sounds, "I know that that we are in a stupid hospital room but I cannot imagine better timing than this and since my answer will always be the same, no matter how you ask me..."

She looked up at him, encouraged by his happy smile that confirmed to her that it was indeed a good timing this time, and continued. "I do not need a perfect moment, perfect ring, perfect words or a perfect proposal scene. I just need you." She said, putting the ring into his palm and watching him expectantly.

He tried to cover his joy by tossing the ring in his hand as if he needed to mull over his next steps, keeping her tension high. In a way, he thought she deserved to be left in a harmless suspense for a little moment and so he took his time to evaluate her words through his own thoughts. After all, he had just promised not to be so reckless as usual and rather consider his ever step with a cool head.

His cover was poorly done, though, because she slightly punched him into his shoulder to give him a sign to stop teasing her. Both were smiling as two people in love who were about to make a committing promise to each other should. Tony took her hand ceremonially and she gasped despite anticipating it. After everything, she really didn't want to ruin this special moment.

He cleared his still sore throat and made an eye contact with her, maintaining it for a couple of seconds before he dared to speak up. "Will you give me the honour," he began, his voice steady as he purposely put an emphasis on each word, "and the joy of being your husband and become my wife?"

Unknowingly to her, whenever she felt positively emotionally overwhelmed, dimples appeared in her cheeks which was also this case. But he was familiar with it and it was one of the things he loved on her and would never change. Her adorable wheeze her lungs had produced only intensified the soul-stirring moment between them and he knew that he had nothing to fear this time.

"Yes." She replied firmly after she regained her composure, staring without a blink into his hopeful eyes, glad that she could finally ignite the flame of happiness in him. "Nothing would make me happier."

Their lips met to seal the commitment they had just pledged to accomplish. Tony blindly slipped the ring on her finger while she cupped his face to make their kiss twice more passionate than it had ever been. The medical monitor played the melody of their love as the beeping increased its intensity due to the inevitable boost in Tony's heartbeat. That day, in that moment, in one hospital room, their souls had merged into one for once more.

_**The End of Chapter 39** _


	40. Chapter 40

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 40** _

Life continued well for the happy couple in the following weeks. Injuries, Tony had suffered due to his recklessness, healed at breakneck speed without any further after effects for the future. The doctors often jokingly pointed out that it was due to the radiance Tony emitted because as a father-to-be and a husband-to-be, he couldn't stop smiling, his happiness supplies brimming over the edge.

It was also given by the fact that everyone around him was full of happiness and joy. Ziva had stood by his side firmly, sharing his good luck, as well as being one of the reasons for it. His family had nothing but cheerful words for them both and their happy future. One could even suffocate with the amount of sugary sweetness in his life and yet, he couldn't be more grateful for the chances and opportunities he had been provided.

None of their friends would be fooled by their pitiful attempts to hide their happiness so they chose to come out with their engagement and pregnancy announcements while he was still in the hospital. Both found it hilarious how the reactions were different, depending on what the particular person had already known, although they tried to cover that they knew anything and did their best to look surprised.

One could simply easily distinguish the fake expression of wonder and the real one – specifically Abby and Ellie failed in their attempts to cover that they already knew about the pregnancy because their shocked happy shout when they heard that even a wedding was about to happen had been strikingly dissimilar. McGee managed his part way better but only because he was too astonished with the baby announcement that he couldn't find his voice.

Gibbs congratulated them both and exchanged a laudatory nod with Ziva that made Tony pause but Ziva later assured him that he didn't have to concern himself with it. Senior, who was the only one in the room who had absolutely no previous notion about either of the life-changing things in the lives of his son and his girlfriend, was absolutely ecstatic with the news to the point that he had to sit down as his blood pressure soared way too high.

The rest of their little family offered gradually their congratulations when they got the chance to speak to them. Agreement was reached that no one would push for the wedding that would come in the reasonable time AFTER the baby was born to strip Ziva off of any prenuptial stress coming with the preparations and planning. At the moment, the delivery of the baby safely and to ensure the good health of both the baby and Ziva were the main priorities.

As for the shooting incident itself, Tony wasn't spared from the investigation but he took his responsibilities seriously and didn't try to hide or lie about the incident. He didn't exactly admit what the personal problems behind his recklessness were and how much they had played a part in his decision-making but he didn't conceal it and outright say that his decisions would have been different if it hadn't been for his personal crisis.

Maybe it was his exemplary record, his achievements under Gibbs' leadership or his personal charm, but the committee decided not to take any action in his case. His punishment in the form of the bruises had been apparently enough. The incident, however, would be recorded and added to his personal file for disposal of anyone in the charge of the decision process of his promotion.

It was a close shave but Tony took it with obvious gratefulness. He knew that such a stupid mistake could cost him his advanced career so he was glad he could always count on the support of his friends and teammates who had always have his back whenever he needed. However, due to the necessary medical leave, the process leading to his promotion had been suspended and would be renewed once he returned to work.

However, for the first time in _weeks_ , he didn't want to go back to work, falling in love with the daily routine he had at home. In the first days, Ziva helped him as much as she could despite his protests but as his wounds healed, he started to take over the household and pampered her in return. Those days were a blissful compensation for the failure of a proposal as they enjoyed each other's company to the fullest.

But with such a care, good mood and rainbows about their heads, he was healed sooner than he liked and had to return back to his job, dutifully lowering his head against his crimes and patiently withstanding all the teasing insinuations coming his way. He deserved them, after all, and most of them eventually turned into positive displays of congratulations to his upcoming marriage and fatherhood.

In the second half of April, they planted the hawthorn tree Tony had received from Ziva a grief testament for his mother. The tree was almost at bloom, well-nurtured and taken care during those weeks it was planted in the large pot. The workers of the tree farm helped to find the right place where Tony wished the tree to have and obtain the corresponding permissions to have it planted there.

Although the planting wasn't supposed to turn into a ceremony of any kind, inviting Senior seemed as a natural thing and so he joined them. At the occasion, Senior didn't omit to emphasize that Ziva had already become a DiNozzo a long time ago and that itself had counted a lot, no matter how much he couldn't wait for the love she and his son had for each other to be sealed with wedlock.

It turned out to be very pleasant day spent as a family, honouring someone who had no longer been with them, but cherishing all the good that the father and son could recall. They also rejoiced the future coming of a new member of the family who was undoubtedly predestined to spread the famous DiNozzo charm further, together with the ninja skills inherited after the mother.

As for Ziva's pregnancy – which still was high-risk – it continued without any serious complications. Once they reached the ten-week line when she faced the miscarriage, she became a lot calmer and fearless, proudly wearing her rounding belly. They still had a long journey ahead but the risks were starting to get minimal while the chance were maximizing. It was nothing but a simple math.

Everything wasn't exceptionally perfect, of course, they had bad days and bad moment but with the mutual power of love, they overcame every single argument, every single obstacle. They actually managed to infect everyone with their lucky way of life that problems Abby and Burt had seemed to be gone, Ellie and Jake never looked more satisfied during their marriage and McGee with Delilah were definitely a promise of another upcoming wedding.

Gibbs' scars – both physical and mental – were also healing and while he maintained his usual personality, he got softer, albeit he was reluctant to admit it. Vance also seemed to be more relaxed and easy-going, Victoria Palmer was nothing but a wonderful gift to her parents and while it looked that Ducky might be overpowered by his health issues, he managed to kick their buttocks numerous times and remain the loyal pathologist of the agency.

* * *

"So... What do you think?" Tony asked Ziva breathlessly as he seized his nervous pacing around the apartment to look at his girlfriend.

It was beautiful, sunny and warm day in the middle of May and his very pregnant fiancée had just finished reading a writing exercise she had prepared for him. Her semester had ended; a couple of hours ago, she had passed her last exam – all exams passed with flying colours, of course – and she was done for this academic year. She still had the exams in Haifa to be done but due to her pregnancy, she chose to leave it for the next academic year and this wish had been granted to her.

Since she needed peace and quiet for the studying and although he had tried to provide it to her, she had sometimes been too annoyed with his presence so she had come up with an idea. The process of his promotion required a writing exercise consisting of a presented leadership problem caused by a hypothetical issue in a workplace and he was supposed to make a decisive resolution, explaining and justifying the course of his hypothetical action he would take to resolve this issue.

Considering the fact that the date of such a writing exercise was nearing, she thought a little bit of practice for him couldn't hurt. Not only to help him to engage his brain in the solving process it but also in the writing itself. The exercise demanded certain structure and certain choice of words to prove the knowledge of the terminology. And while one could give reasons for something without actually stating the point because it couldn't be recalled orally, it wasn't as easy in a writing form.

He needed to become accustomed to use the terminology in other way than just while doing the paperwork that usually consisted of forms and usage of several abbreviations. To justify and explain something required more... flowery language which was stylistically demanding. And so she prepared such a writing exercise for him so he could practice and train on the real test.

"Well..." She drawled the syllables slowly, putting down her cup of decaf coffee. She shouldn't be teasing him with her hesitancy but she couldn't resist keeping him in the nervous state for a little while. He was too damn adorable. "I think it is good. Very good."

She scanned the papers covered with his handwriting again before glancing at him. "There are some things I would do... in a different way but overall, this approach is all you. It is a very good characterization of your leadership style." She assessed with a proud smile, watching as his eyes roved all over the room, purposely avoiding the written exercise he had created.

"I know, I know..." He sighed, raking his hair nervously as if this simple exercise had just decided the future of his career. "Especially the point three is a bit controversial, it took me a while to decide whether to choose the presented opportunity or not. I mean, Gibbs would definitely..."

"No one cares what Gibbs would do, Tony." She interrupted him in a stern tone that sliced through the air like a sharp blade, leaving only coolness behind it.

It had been months since he had brought up the overplayed song of 'I-am-competent-enough-but-what-if-Gibbs-would-not-agree-with-my-methods' for the last time, despite Gibbs giving him zero reason to do so as he finally encouraged him to find his own path and not to copy someone else's style. Whatever kept Tony seducing to slip back into this mindset, Ziva never hesitated to snap him out of it and force him to return on the firm ground.

She groaned as she used the armrests to raise herself a little so she could lean closer to him, her growing belly making the task more difficult. "They are interested in _your_ way of doing things." She educated him like a seasoned old wolf lecturing its cub. "If this is the approach you want to take, you also have to be able to successfully defend it, not to successfully undermine it."

He lowered his head in shame because he knew that she was right to berate him for his unrelenting urge to compare himself to Gibbs, no matter how many times he had promised himself not to do it again. "Right. Thanks for the reminder." He said gratefully and looked up back at her. "It's just..."

"Just because I said that I would do some things differently, it does not mean that your approach is wrong." She interjected quickly to soothe his nerves. "Remember that every problem can be approached in multiple ways. And they will come and ask questions what led you to choose this particular one. You do not need just defend the final decision you made but you also have to defend the process you underwent to reach such a conclusion."

Tony found himself staring at her with adoration in his face for the whole time. She was smarter and supportive more than anyone he had ever known, as if she knew what he needed to hear in order to regain his confidence and trust his instincts. He had nothing more to add, just to admit that – as for most of the time – she was right and he was foolish to lack the healthy amount of confidence.

Standing up, he went over to her and kissed her deeply to thank her for just being her. She chuckled happily into the kiss, reaching her arms up to embrace his head and pull him closer to her while he supported himself gently by putting one of his hands on the belly with the growing offspring they created together. So far, there had been no significant movements from the baby but as they were told, it was normal in the first pregnancy to feel anything far later.

Suddenly, a lively knock on the door roused them from their hazy and amorous lip nipping and they both turned their heads towards the noise. "Are you expecting anyone?" Tony asked Ziva suspiciously because he knew she had announced her exam achievements to all her friends.

"No, I am not." She disproved his suspicion. Yes, she had informed everyone who was willing to listen or read that her semester was finished. But she had also stressed that due to her pregnancy, she wanted nothing but rest until the end of the week and then, they could start planning some get-togethers to have a chat. She couldn't imagine anyone would disrespect her wish.

She scrambled out of the armchair to deal with the intruder who shortly knocked again, more impatiently now. Tony tried to prevented her from doing so, or at least give her a helping hand but she dismissed it with words that 'she was pregnant, not terminally ill and did not need any help to move around just yet', so he let her to push her way through the living room to the door on her own.

After she opened the door, she remained standing with her mouth agape before she accepted the warm hug and greetings of her dear friend Terri, with her fiancé David following right after her. Since the girls were inseparable, David had to give up on getting more than a peck on a cheek and slight pat on his shoulder as a welcome gesture and rather turned to surprised Tony.

"Well, look at you, mamma-to-be. You're becoming quite round!" Terri exclaimed when she stopped hugging her Israeli friend and pulled away to examine her figure.

"Hey, look who is talking!" Ziva retorted and swatted her hand away, strategically grabbing Terri's arm to point out her wilted muscles. "Someone has been neglecting the daily workout."

Terri snorted and shot a grin at David. "Who needs a daily workout when you have a fine man as your fiancé?" She snapped back playfully to the amusement of all.

In the following minutes, they all greeted warmly each other, Tony and Ziva surprised with their unexpected visit but definitely pleasantly. Terri's twittering didn't give them the space to ask about the reasons for this half-around-the-globe visit from Israel to D.C. but that would come soon enough as they sat down in the living room with hot cups of freshly grounded coffee with Ziva drinking the weaker version to decrease the amount of caffeine in her blood.

She was seated in her new favourite armchair they had purchased recently during a little makeover of the living room that included buying a new couch with armchairs and a larger coffee table for comfort of the frequent visitors. Terri sat down next to her on the couch so she could be the closest to her, David assumed his position next to her and Tony took the other armchair, ready to jump out if Ziva needed anything.

"Now if that is an engagement ring, I can't wait to see the wedding one." Terri had just complimented the beauty of the ring on Ziva's finger she had been inspecting for the last few seconds.

"You put all of us men to shame with such pampering of your bride-to-be." David complained jokingly to Tony since not every bride had the opportunity to have both engagement and wedding rings.

Tony chuckled and shrugged it off with a teasing wink in the direction of Ziva. "Actually, I do have a very selfish reason for giving her the engagement ring. She can't play the Runaway Bride* with the symbol of commitment on her finger so easily since we agreed that the wedding will take place in a reasonable amount of time after the baby is born." He explained briefly and added a cheeky smile.

"Sure, as if I could _easily_ run away with this." Ziva retorted with a pat on her round belly. Whether she wanted it or not, the pregnancy was making the common movements more difficult, let alone letting her to run – both physically and mentally.

It was nothing but a funny teasing play between them. Tony had grown confident enough to be sure that Ziva had no escape plans to abandon him but it didn't prevent him from joking about it from time to time. Knowing him, Ziva had accustomed to it and had no reason to feel insulted or anything, using the opportunity to tease him back since she couldn't physically 'hurt' him as a punishment.

"And how even is the little..." Terri began, reaching to touch the belly and feel the growing baby beneath her hands before she paused. "Do you even know what it is? Boy or girl?"

She realized that she hadn't asked about the gender of the baby at all, being too excited over the simple fact that Ziva was going to become a mother and soon even a married woman. She didn't even bring any gifts with her since their trip to D.C. was kind of an impulsive thing, the reason for it yet to be revealed. But that was all her – quite too often she spoke before thinking.

"And have you chosen the names?" David added a question, alternatively looking between Tony and Ziva to see which one would provide the answers.

Tony nodded in Ziva's direction to explain it, taking a sip from his coffee instead of talking. "No and no." Ziva replied calmly and took Terri's hand to lead her on the place where the baby's head currently resided. "We want to be surprised."

"Pffff... She just wants to prevent me from coming up with names." Tony complained jokingly, adding an exaggerated eye-roll to stress his 'annoyance'.

Ziva chuckled in response and stuck her tongue at him cheekily. "It is a practical decision. I am certain that our child already has at least thousand different names after movie characters in your head." She accused him, knowing his dirty mind more than anybody.

"As if it was any different with you and your books." He retorted quickly, adding more fuel to their teasing, ongoing game they both loved to play until people around them started to be worried about them.

They both laughed aloud to relieve the tension that seized Terri and David to show them that none of it was meant to be serious. "The truth is... we don't care." Tony explained to them, his words approved by a curt nod from Ziva. "It doesn't make any difference for us whether the baby is a girl or a boy."

Neither of them were giving in to the typical tropes of mother-to-be wanting a girl and father-to-be wanting a boy, or the other way around with expectant mother to assure an heir to the family with boy and expectant father to raise a reflection of his wife in the daughter. They were simply okay with whatever they would eventually get. The important thing here was that their love would bear the fruits.

"Plus, I think that we both have our personal desires about the baby names." Tony remarked and smiled dreamily. "I can't wait for the fight for compromise when we will have to choose."

Despite the entire jest, he had actually picked two favourite names and so far, he hadn't changed his mind. He didn't tell a living soul, cosseting the two names in his heart to discuss them later with Ziva when the time was right. For a girl, it would be Tali – a natural choice, considering the love Ziva had for her late sister. He struggled with himself a bit with the boy's name but eventually decided that he had the right to continue the family tradition and name his son after himself.

"Indeed." Ziva affirmed with a wave of her hand. "I just want to experience this first impression thing, you know? To look at the baby and just _know_ that it is the perfect name."

Terri smiled widely in response and settled back on the couch with David snuggling against her comfortably. "So, how do you call him or her, then?" She asked curiously, ruffling through David's hair absentmindedly.

"Miracle." Both Tony and Ziva answered in unison as the strong couple they were. The baby wasn't only the representation of their love. It was a symbol of all the hardships they had to fight through in order to get to this point. And if that in itself wasn't a miracle, then nothing else could ever be.

For a long moment, they both just lost themselves in the amorous look they sent to each other until it started to feel a bit awkward since they weren't entirely alone in the room. David cleared his throat as loudly as he could and Terri interrupted their longing eye-sex with a decisive slam against the table with her finished cup of coffee. Tony immediately jumped out to take it away and offer something else to drink.

Ziva stretched her limbs to relax her stiffed muscles that worked hard every day since she started to gain pregnancy weight and smiled at the couple on the couch. "But enough about us. What are you two doing here?" She asked them and leaned forward to reach behind her back so she could fluff a pillow up and make herself more comfortable. "Not that we are not glad to see you but your visit was not expected."

David remained silent, suddenly finding Tony's movie collection very interesting from afar as he inspected the shelves with his gaze and Terri just casually shrugged her shoulders. "Well, my semester's finished – as is yours, I guess." She replied and thanked with a nod for the glass of water Tony brought to her. "And we had a fancy to go somewhere so a little trip to D.C. to meet our friends and check up on the upcoming baby seemed like a good idea."

Ziva looked her up and down suspiciously. The words she had said sounded reasonable but she knew Terri long enough to recognize the slight differences in the tone of her voice when she was hiding something. There was some ulterior motive behind their current presence in the United States, there was no doubt about that. All that remained was to find out what it was.

"Just like that? You are dragging yourself half the world just to see us?" She asked her in a tone that hinted that she sensed a bigger picture behind this unexpected drop-in. "Surely, it is nice to have you here but I thought you would be swamped with polishing the details for your big day."

Terri chuckled in response, unaffected by the looks of suspicion and even made a cheeky gesture of casting an imaginary fishing rod into the water and winding the line back up on the reel because her fish took to the bait. "I see your detective skills are still top-notch, you ex-NCIS and ex-Mossad officer. The wedding is actually the main reason for our little trip."

Tony curiously assumed his position on the armrest of Ziva's armchair and watched as Terri and David exchanged a nod of encouragement, lacing their fingers together. "We want to get married next weekend here in D.C." Terri announced as she turned her head back towards the other couple, giggling at the stunned expressions on their faces they made right afterwards.

"Since you can't come to the wedding in Israel for obvious reasons, we decided to bring the wedding to you." She explained quickly because her own eyes started to well up with emotion the moment she saw the first tears forming in Ziva's eyes.

The Israeli wanted to ask so many questions but words failed her as the realization of the great friendship dawned on her. Any other bride in the world would probably be selfish and rightfully thinking about herself, her husband-to-be, her family and all that before a friend. But Terri thought mostly about that one person she desperately wanted to be part of the wedding but understandably couldn't and apparently decided to sacrifice everyone else.

Her gaze roved from Terri to David in order to find any comprehensible explanation for the heartfelt bond of friendship between the two women that was deeper than she could ever imagine. Hopelessly, she accepted the soothing squeezes Tony applied on her shoulder to help her to relieve some of the shock from her shoulders, still casting questioning glances in the direction of the other couple.

"I can assure you it's not an impulsive decision because we've talked about it since you told us that you wouldn't be able to come." David took over the conversation, giving the two women the time to go through as much emotion as they needed. He didn't omit to point out that the preparations had already been made and they didn't travel to the US blindly with the illusion to make arrangements on the spot without planning beforehand.

"The amount of rework put us off but in the end, we settled on doing it because... well, without you, the wedding wouldn't ever happen." He went on and planted a kiss on his fiancées cheek to show that he firmly stood behind her request to move their big day to an earlier date, as well as to a different country.

What he had implied about Ziva's merit was nothing but the truth. Her blessed interventions into their relationship made them realize what they had and why they should cherish its existence. Terri would have broken up with David multiple times, tired of him being tied up in his duties and responsibilities to his family if Ziva hadn't told her not to do so and keep fighting for their love.

And David would have never stood up to his parents if Ziva hadn't given him several reprimanding and heart-to-heart conversations, guided by her own personal experience. Both Terri and David knew that she would have never meddled in their relationship if she hadn't believed that it was worth the salvation and filled with love that could move the world if they wanted to.

"The truth my husband-to-be speaks." Terri imitated Yoda's voice and his way of speaking to ease the tension inside her chest created by the sudden emotional strain. "So, if you agree, we would marry here in D.C. with the participation of the closest to us. It'll be nice, little wedding with a private party afterwards."

Ziva still stared at her as if she went insane, not because she would denounce the idea but because she was too shocked to comprehend that her friend really did everything she could to reduce her idea of a great wedding to a significantly smaller one. Especially when she knew about all the passionate planning of the summer wedding that was supposed to take place in Israel.

"We already took care of everything – the venue, the place for the party, the flowers, the dress... All people we want to be there also agreed to do this with us." Terri went on, not being able to suffocate her urge to keep talking whenever she felt nervous because Ziva still hadn't said a word. "My mum and my brother arrive this weekend, my father is already here. David's friends fly in next week and some of them still live here as they keep working for the British embassy."

There was no mention about his parents and David shook his head slightly to sign a negative answer to the unspoken question Ziva and Tony sent mutely in his direction. He had contacted them, argued with them and eventually only reserved himself on announcing to them what he was about to do with his life whether they liked it or not. They knew about the change in plans for the wedding and they could come if they finally overcame their pride.

He had no reason to fear that they would try to stop the wedding or anything. Since he had arranged the wedding in D.C. with the help of his friends from the British Embassy, his connections were simply higher than any other acquaintances his parents might have to help them intrigue against his marriage. Although he doubted that they would ever dare, after all, their ever-so-uptight British nature allowed them to use only words in their battles, they barely took any action for real.

"If I agree..." Ziva repeated Terri's words in an unbelieving tone. It was ridiculous to think that her friend came here to _ask for permission_ as if the wedding couldn't ever happen and the marriage could never be taken seriously without Ziva's presence. "I do not know what to say."

Her pregnancy was a joy she celebrated every single second of her life. But there were certain moments when she guiltily wished for it to be non-existent. Extreme sadness had come over her when she had announced to Terri and David that she wouldn't be able to attend their wedding in Israel due to her high-risk pregnancy, refusing to put her baby's life in danger.

Never she had thought that such a measure would be implemented and those two would cancel all their plans, moving the most important people to D.C. just to get married in front of her eyes so she wouldn't miss the best bit. The thankfulness she felt couldn't be expressed in any way she knew, words being too insufficient and gestures not telling enough.

"What about your plans for the big wedding, though?" She argued out of courtesy, knowing the amount of time and money the other couple had already spent on it. It now seemed as such a waste. "I mean, you have already chosen the venue and paid for it... It's not fair."

Terri snickered in amusement, moved by the worry Ziva kept expressing. "Oh, the big wedding is still going to happen. Everyone who was invited is still invited, we will have the ceremony but not for real because... Well, we'll already be married." She explained and nudged David to sign that it was his idea. They actually agreed to approach it a little bit untraditionally while maintaining the traditional decor and just have fun with it.

"Besides, most of the people will be there for the feast, anyway so... We'll have the small reception here in D.C. and then a big party in Israel in July." She added dreamily, loving the idea of two separate weddings with one of them being just for the effect more and more. "Not to mention it's a great opportunity to wear the wedding dress for one more time and not to feel weird about it."

At first, she pondered only renting the dress and then saying goodbye to them as she didn't see a reason why to keep the garment forever closed in her wardrobe, letting the dust to settle on it. But then her tricky fiancé took her on a long weekend trip to Milan in Italy right before her exam period to "relax, pamper herself and conserve her acquired knowledge" as he had called it.

And there, during one of her breathtaking strolls, she chanced upon a bridal shop with a newest collection of wedding dresses with one more beautiful than the other. She especially liked the colour because her complexion never really went together with bright white which was the typical colour of almost every wedding dress she had laid her eyes on. These were white but not so brightly, the tone slipping into ivory and champagne shades.

There had been no way to resist to at least try one of the robes on and soon, she had fallen in love with each of them, having a hard time to choose just one. Eventually, she had done so and bought them, her previous decision be damned. With some little adjustments to the dress after the wedding, it would make a gorgeous and unique evening wear for the countless of banquets she had sometimes to attend with her husband-to-be.

"So, what do you say?" David eyed Ziva expectantly, clasping his hands in front of him in a nervous gesture.

"What do _I_ say?" Ziva repeated after him incredulously with the emphasis on the pronoun as if she couldn't comprehend why those two so insisted on her blessings. They had already done more than anyone she had ever met. "What you two have schemed together is absolutely insane. You should have thought about yourself first, you should have disregarded me absolutely."

She took a dramatic pause for the effect. "But I do not think I will ever be able to express my gratitude enough for what you have decided to do. I am glad that you both are so adequately crazy to pull this off and I love the thought that I can be there with you and witness the happiest moment of your lives." She said and wiped away the tears her damn hormones kept supplying her with.

Terri whooped in joy and went to hug her in delight, being careful not to hurt the baby. Tony congratulated them both and went to retrieve the bottle of non-alcoholic champagne he was keeping in his stock in the case of any celebrations. Then the two tearful women and their significant others toasted on the good health and love, chatting about the next weekend's wedding and its preparations afterwards.

* * *

"How do I look?" Terri twirled around in her wedding dress, caressing the beautiful fabric with her fingers with certain fondness.

Ziva looked her up and down, more in astonishment than with a critical eye. This woman could wear a potato sack and still look stunning but this wedding dress was another level. It was a simple one-piece and full-length robe without any excessively fluffy skirt or anything in the shades of ivory and champagne colours. Two straps over the shoulders created a nice V-neck on her bosom while her back was adorned with an oval cut.

The laced bodice covering the upper part of her body and the back was decorated with flower ornaments and pearls, the beads lovely copying her spine from her buttocks up to her neck, hiding the zip fastener. The skirt ended right below her feet and stretched out at the back in a form of little oval if arranged. When she walked, the train drew behind her like a flying dove.

From what Terri told her, she had purposely chosen dress with a hanging skirt more than the princess-like fluffy skirt because she wanted to wear a veil and didn't want it to be suffocated by the richness of the dress. The veil was of the same colour and with the same decorations like the dress but significantly longer and larger. Since her hair wasn't done yet, she didn't wear it at the moment but Ziva could get the picture how it would look like.

"Like a creamy dessert." She commented after the inspections and received an elbow jab for that from her friend, both done in a friendly manner. "Okay, all jokes aside... You look as you have been born to be a bride."

Terri's cheeks turned red under the compliment as she fidgeted around in attempt to smooth the dress and fix all the wrinkles. "Thank you." She replied uncharacteristically shyly and combed her hair for an umpteenth time to occupy them for she felt nervous as hell.

Her Israeli friend seemed to have something else to say but a decisive knock on the solid wooden door in the premises of the British Embassy in D.C. they were currently in and where the wedding was about to take place thanks to David's contacts and warm-hearted friendship with the Embassy staff, interrupted her. Both women looked at each other questioningly as if the other knew exactly who was behind the door.

"Maybe it is the hairdresser." Ziva suggested and turned on her heel to open the door slightly, shielding Terri from the eyes out of the outsiders until the ceremony itself like a dutiful bridesmaid she was.

Her gaze met with a distinguished married couple in her fifties or so. The almost silver-haired slim and tall man wore a tuxedo, the lapel of his jacket adorned with Tudor rose pin while the equally slim, yet shorter woman next to him wore a dark red ladies suit with a rich white pearl necklace around her neck, her long brown hair coiffed into an austere bun with a simple white rose ornament.

"Is there something I can do for you?" Ziva offered politely, having no idea what these two people were and why they tried to get into the office that was now used as the bride's room.

"We would like to speak to the bride." The woman announced firmly in a strong British accent and her husband next to her nodded to confirm her claim.

The tone she had used didn't leave Ziva much space to be polite enough to kick her out and since she wanted to avoid any scenes, she rather opened the door fully and let the couple in, immediately closing it behind them. Sending an apologetic gaze in Terri's direction with a shrug of her shoulders, she watched the woman jumped up out of her seat she had settled on earlier the moment she laid her eyes on the couple.

"What are you two doing here?" She snapped at them angrily, albeit trying to control the loudness of her voice. From her posture, it was clear that she held certain respect to the newcomers but she definitely couldn't forget some encounter that happened in the past. "Does David know about this?"

Ziva squirmed nervously as she sensed that the supposedly perfect day might get tainted. Putting two and two together from the scrapes of information she had previously gotten, she deduced that 'these two' were David's dreaded parents who hadn't even acknowledged the wedding invitation. And all of a sudden, they were here, standing in front of the woman their son was in love with and they despised.

"No, he doesn't. We went to talk to you first." The man replied with equally strong British accent like his wife, but adding more snobbish tone in it. "Although my guess is that his friend might already alert him since they have seen us."

Ziva glanced at the door as if she expected David barging inside at any second but nothing like that happened. But since it could have, she rather returned to her place by Terri's side to assume her role of the emotional support, as well as a swift shield to cover the bride so the groom or anyone else for that matter could see her. Terri sent her a brief nod of thanks but her gaze was locked up on the two people in front of her.

Because of the ongoing battle of minds, courtesy was cast aside and no one introduced Ziva to the parents, neither did she try to do so herself. They ignored her as if she wasn't in the room at all and for the time being, she was okay with that. An invisible person could react more promptly to an attack of both physical and verbal nature than a person who had the attention of all.

"What do you want?" Terri asked them to break some of the tension that seemed to only rise with the mute silence between them.

Her tone could be way too stern but they didn't deserve anything else. Several times she tried to win their favour and prove her worthiness. The last straw for her with which she resigned and stopped trying was when they had 'accepted' her, invited her over for a weekend and then made subtle remarks she had laughed at until she realized that they all meant to be insults, a mockery at her expense.

She could live with the parents not liking her and ignoring her. She was immune to threats and bribes. But she couldn't withstand insults and humiliation they tried to apply on her in order to bring her down. But the victory was hers as she had promptly left with her dropping the dissimulation and actually telling them what she thought with David in tow who had been more than embarrassed and ashamed of their behaviour.

David's mother stepped forward, spreading out her hands in a welcoming guest to show that she meant no harm with her presence. Both Ziva and Terri took a little step back, though, still prepared for a counterattack if needed. The older woman stopped and clasped her hands in front of her, unconsciously playing with the jewellery on her hands, betraying her nervousness despite the stoic expression on her face.

"I'll be honest." She began, assuming an upright standing position with her chest stuck out to show that although her tone was conciliatory, she still bore enough pride inside her. "You're not the woman I envisioned for my son. But he loves you and he loves you so much that he is able to go against his own family, his own blood."

She paused dramatically, letting her words sink in so Terri could realize that whatever she and her husband were doing here, they were doing it out of the love for their son and so it could be only good. "That's something I can appreciate. I wish certain someone would do the same for me when I was as young as you are." She admitted and her head slightly turned sideways to send a glance at her husband who shamefully lowered his eyes and found something very interesting on the carpet beneath him.

Terri barely dared to breathe, afraid that she might burst. She couldn't believe the words she was hearing, the sudden complaisance in the demeanour of the two people in front of her, wondering if it was only just another joke. But since David's mother had just insinuated before her that she and her husband had some sort of a secret when it came to their marriage and their relationship in general, she felt uncertain. Maybe the woman really was honest.

"Who knows, maybe it's actually my fault... Maybe I subconsciously planted it into his mind..." The older woman muttered under her breath, probably not realizing that everyone in the room could hear her.

She then turned her head back towards Terri and rubbed her hands together. "All I want to say is – there is nothing in the world I love more than my son." Her confident tone was back as if talking about David filled her with the appropriate dose of self-assurance. "If you hurt him, you hurt me. If he's happy with you, then well... I am happy with him."

Making a step forward, she smiled at the bride soberly, glad that this time, Terri stood rooted to the ground. She had no space for any other reaction, absolutely floored by the drastically different behaviour of the woman who had once called her a 'half-breed'. Ziva watched her warily but didn't make any move, either, sitting tight and interfere in the utmost situation.

The lady stretched out her hand and slight caressed Terri's face in the most affectionate fashion she could muster. "Just take care of him for me, please." Her voice was nearly plaintive at that moment as if she was about to forsake his son, not just to get him wed.

"I-I pro-omise." Terri stammered, too stunned to form the words in her throat properly. The seed of doubt was still within her, but her emotions had already been on the roller-coaster for a few days and the tension was just too hard to deal with. No wonder she actually started to believe that David's parents could reverse their opinion about her marriage to David.

David's mother squeezed her hand as if they had just sealed a pact that resulted in death if not kept and stepped away, shooting a glance at her husband to urge him to do his part. Although they both tried very much to make an impression that all of this was just accidental, it was obvious that it was actually very thoroughly planned, if not punctually scheduled visit with divided roles and constructed monologues beforehand.

"I've always been proud of my son, especially when it comes to his career choices. Not so much when it comes to women, if I am supposed to be frank but..." David's father began solemnly, moving a few steps forward to reach his wife's side. "I've never seen him being as passionate about someone as he is about you."

He gave Terri a long look as if he analysed whether she was worth of the words on his tongue or if he should hold them back. For a brief moment, he gazed at Ziva as well, impressed by her almost threatening guarding stance. "It makes you special, no matter what we two or anyone in the family think." He added sincerely and went closer to the bride just like his wife before him, taking her by her hands. "That being said, you and David have our family's blessings and we wish you the best to your marriage."

A single tear fell down Terri's cheek, struggling to find the words with which she would explain her emotions she could barely decipher, anyway. She didn't care for their blessings or recognition, she would marry David even if the Hell opened and wanted to swallow her. But she truly appreciated the effort of David's parents because she knew what amount of courage had to be mustered and how much pride had to be swallowed so they would come here and say all those things.

Commotion behind the door didn't give her much of a chance to speak, though, because in the next second, the door swung open and her husband-to-be marched into the room with a warlike expression on his face. "What in the bloody hell is going on here?!" He hissed angrily, looking his parents up and down suspiciously.

His father let go of the bride and turned around to face his son, giving Ziva the chance to step in the line of David's view to shield Terri from the inquisitive eyes. David, despite his fury, noticed the movement and nodded gratefully at Ziva because he didn't wish to break the usual custom of not seeing the bride in her wedding dress before the walk down towards the altar, as well.

"They came to the wedding to give us their blessings." Terri answered shakily but firmly. She didn't want David to doubt his parents' intensions and so she rather took the initiative by herself to explain.

The engaged couple exchanged a quick eye communication and David then folded his arms across his chest. "Really? Where did this sudden change of heart come from?" He asked his parents with a derisive tone, refusing to be intimidated by them anymore. Once he had tasted the feeling of freedom, he hadn't been willing to give it up easily.

"You are our son, David. Our _only_ son." His mother came forward to him with a soft expression on her face. "We may not agree with your choice of a bride but we don't want to lose you, either."

David didn't move, didn't blink or didn't react in any way whatsoever. The silence that ensued was deafening and everyone in the room knew that he waited for his father to start talking, too. "Since the only way to achieve it is to respect you, your choices and your fiancée, we are doing just so." His father finally said in a reserved tone, yet gently. His son's defiance still irritated him but he understood his reasons.

In the next moment, he turned back to Terri and the following words he uttered surprised even his beloved offspring. "We both sincerely apologize for all the times you must have felt... disgraced. I hope that one day you will find a space in your heart to forgive us." He said regretfully and his wife proudly squeezed his shoulder, sending an apologetic look in the bride's direction who accepted it with a short nod.

David watched them for a moment, pondering his next actions. His parents had been officially invited so he didn't dare to kick them out. Plus, they had apparently regretted their previous behaviour and decided to put their pride aside and swallow their disapproval in order to receive their son's love. It was a forthcoming step, one he should appropriately value.

They weren't entirely bad people with twisted character, capable of nasty intrigues and grandiose schemes. It was just their social status that was sometimes too important to them, making them to look snobbish so they would have a lot of to boast in front of their equally rich friends. Unfortunately, they often assumed that their son shared their ideals and would want the same.

But he didn't and in a way, David felt sorry for that. He would love to be the perfect child for the perfect parents but life didn't work in such a way and he refused to pretend his interest when his heart wasn't in it. His parents hadn't agreed with many of his life choices but he stood his ground and they usually simply admitted that it wasn't a completely wrong decision. He was sure that they would eventually come around and get used to his marriage.

"Good." He then said after another brief eye communication with his fiancée. "Come with me because the conversation we three will have is going to be private."

He motioned for the door and his parents obeyed without any sign of a protest, following him after sending a short nod of goodbye to both women in the room, acknowledging Ziva's presence for the first time. Terri took a couple of deep breaths when the door closed to calm her erratically beating heart after the sudden emotional strain with Ziva caressing her hair to help her soothe her nerves.

* * *

And that was the only tense scene on the whole wedding ceremony, including the reception. David's parents apparently meant their words sincerely because they didn't show any kind of hostile behaviour for the rest of their visit. None of the other guests had proved to be problematic, either, and so all passed as peacefully as both of the newlyweds could have hoped.

The walk down to the altar was short, but still very emotional for the father of the bride dressed in his uniform. The vows the engaged couple wrote by themselves left most of the wedding guests in tears. The final 'I-dos' and the first kiss after entering officially the bond of marriage made people to cheer for the groom and bride loudly, followed by heartfelt and soul-stirring congratulations.

After the ceremony, the whole wedding ensemble moved to a booked restaurant with a garden where they could celebrate not only with food and drinks, but also with the first dance, tasty cake and a couple of wedding traditions Terri and David wanted to keep. The good mood was infectious and everyone was making jokes, laughing and generally celebrating the love of the two special people for them.

It was almost midnight when Tony and Ziva finally arrived back home, feeling pleasantly stupefied – not from alcohol as they both chose to abstain from such beverages (Ziva because she had to due to the pregnancy, Tony because he didn't want to drink without her and risk getting drunk) – but from the agreeable tiredness coming from the wonderful, happy day they experienced.

Over the course of the few minutes, they both showered and got ready for the bed. Tony was just lying on the covers with some cinema magazine in his hands, when Ziva came out of the bathroom and started to climb the bed with a series of loud huffs. "I feel like the baby is weighing more than a ton of bricks. I bet it ate most of the stuff instead of me." She whined, panting rapidly with the effort and energy she had to invest in order to get in the bed.

Tony finished the sentence and closed the magazine, turning on his side to caress the growing belly that wasn't exactly large but it wasn't small, either. "Well, the baby is DiNozzo. The food is the highlight of the day." He joked as he rubbed his palm over the cotton fabric of Ziva's nightdress.

"But I am getting fat because of it." She snapped, albeit not angrily. Her tone reflected more frustration than wrath as she gestured to her belly. "I worked so hard on maintaining my figure and now I have _this_. Now, I do not know what the pregnancy weight is and what my real weight is."

Her fiancé leaned in and planted a gentle kiss on her forehead to soothe her. "I wouldn't have you any other way." He said sincerely, looking deeply into her eyes as he caressed her cheeks with the back of his fingers.

"You are saying that just because you want me to calm down." She muttered in negation but in the same time enjoyed his comforting touch. "Or because you actually want me to get fat so no one else would ever steal me from you."

Being used to her moody grievance, he just chuckled, not taking her seriously at all. "No, I mean it. I don't mind you having a little flabby here and there." He teased her with a taking some of her body fat and pinching it painlessly.

She tried to swat his hands away but he soon changed the strategy of his so-called attack and instead of pinching, he applied tickles on the spots of her body he knew they were extremely ticklish. Even if she didn't want it, the bedroom was shortly filled with the sound of her laughter as his resourceful technique of making her feel better mercilessly worked. There was no way she could subdue belly-hurting laughter in order to beg him to stop.

Until she unnaturally gasped, her hand immediately landing on her rounding stomach with eyes widened into two large saucers. Tony paused in surprise and started to question her state, hoping that he didn't do anything wrong that could hurt the baby or make her fiancée feel sick. It wasn't the intention of his tickling and he would never forgive himself if such a silly, foolish action would cost him so much.

Instead of an answer, Ziva took his hand and placed it on her belly in the place where she currently felt the movement. This time, Tony gasped excitedly with her because the baby kicked powerfully, probably as it changed the position inside the womb. It was the first time ever the baby noticeably kicked, making its parents proud more than anyone else in the world at that very moment.

For the rest of the night until the late morning, the couple lay in the bed in several positions with all four hands on her belly, trying to feel even the slightest movement from the fruit of their mutual love. And as if the baby knew about the parents' attention, it kept on showing what a lively, energetic and active child it would soon become – to the parents' delight, of course.

_**The End of Chapter 40** _

* * *

* Runaway Bride – 1999 romcom movie starring Julia Roberts and Richard Gere about a woman who is nervous about being married, always leaving her fiancés at the altar, running away.

Anyone interested in the look of Terri's dress - just search "Eddy K Milano Style MD294"


	41. Chapter 41

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 41** _

Tony planted an affectionate kiss, one full of unconditional love, endless admiration and deep devotion, on Ziva's forehead and smiled when she responded with sleepy moans. Her attempts to keep herself awake soon failed and she was consumed by peaceful sleep of an exhausted person, finally getting the break she deserved after the hours-lasting, nerve-racking delivery.

She deserved it more than anyone because the delivery hadn't gotten by without complications and the strain on her body was enormous. At one point the doctors had discussed the threat of losing the life of either the baby or the mother but neither of them had planned to give up, hacking their way through all the troubles on their own. In the end, Ziva had given birth to a beautiful, healthy baby, her will to live saving her from any post-childbirth difficulties.

Tony, who had been present in the delivery room, had been a mere witness of the horrors playing out in front of him with no power to do anything about it, had refused to lose his belief in happy endings, albeit on the edge of faintness. The Fate had been laughing at him for far too long to so cruelly rob him of everything he had gain in the past year. Eventually, everything bad in the good turned and they could celebrate the birth of the fruit of their mutual love – a baby girl named Tali.

There was no name war waging between them, it was an unambiguous decision of both – to their surprise. About a week before the hasty drive to the hospital with Ziva screaming her lungs out due to the contractions, spitting out Hebrew insults directed mostly at Tony for he had apparently had a share on her pain, Tony had written down the name and gender of his future newborn and put it inside the go-bag they had already prepared in the case of need to urgently rush into the hospital.

Ziva had only shaken her head at him, telling him that he would be totally wrong about the name and the gender for sure. She would have looked at the paper to see what his idea had been but she had been in such an advanced state of pregnancy that she could barely move, forsaking the idea. The go-bag then had been with them in the delivery room and Tony had pulled out the piece of paper, putting it into his pocket.

The following moments had caused a total memory erasure but when Ziva finally had held their baby girl for the first time in her arms, all sweaty with tousled hair, pale face and dark circles under her eyes, yet looking more beautiful than he could have ever imagined, and whispered in a husky, thick voice the name _Tali,_ he couldn't have stopped the tears even if he had wanted to.

Afterwards, she had looked up at him and sought his approval of the name. He had just smiled at her, reached to his pocket and unfolded the piece of paper to show it to her. Her eyes had widened and she had hiccupped with emotion when she had seen the words 'Gender = girl, Name = Tali' written on the paper in unmistakable Tony's handwriting. The little newborn had added a couple of babbling moans to support their decision.

That all seemed as ancient history when in fact, it had been just a couple of hours. Tony sat down next to Ziva's bed with Tali in her arms and slowly rocked the precious bundle wrapped in the creamy white blanket as his daughter kept sleeping peacefully. She looked so tiny, so vulnerable and so surreal, that he had to inspect and caress her existence with his eyes to assure himself that she was real as the firm ground beneath his wobbly feet.

So far, he couldn't tell to whom she resembled more. In one particular moment he had told himself how she looked as a miniature of Ziva but in the next one, he had noticed certain features that could be attributed to him. The baby was a wondrous miracle coming both from nothing and everything, a perfect mixture of Ziva and him, yet with its own integrity.

She was his blood, she was his genes, she was his... everything. He had known her for a handful of minutes and yet, he loved her with such a strong love it hurt at times. And what was the strangest of all – he hadn't ever felt that type of love seizing his heart, it was a completely new, unfamiliar feeling injected into his veins but immediately addictive to the point of failing to rest his eyes from looking at her because he was afraid she might disappear.

His heart was hammering against his ribcage with the power of a sledgehammer when Tali made a tiny movement in his arms and he had to assure himself mentally that his daughter was breathing, living person and so, movements were normal. Her light pink skin reddened a little under the effort of the squirm she had made and so he lifted her head a bit higher to regulate the blood flowing into her head.

Her face absolutely fascinated him and just how people could stand in Louvre for hours, admiring the Mona Lisa painting, he could do the same with the face of his daughter. He had already seen her eyes and while he couldn't exactly discern the colour yet, the soulful look she had inherited after her mother was unmistakable. Now, they were closed and all he could do was to gush about her tiny, adorable nose, puffed cheeks and the fluff of light brown hair on her head.

All of it kind of made him feel... oddly emotional. Happy tears weren't the most common thing in his life so when he sensed the hot, slightly acrid water drops in the corner of his eyes, he unwillingly held his breath in panic. Once he released it to fill his lungs with fresh air, the tears started to stream down his face unstoppably and soon enough, he couldn't do anything about them, only to blink them away to clear his blurry view because he didn't want to lose a single second from the chance to look at Tali.

"Kids can be quite a wonder, right?" Senior's voice interrupted him from his admiration festival as he walked casually through the door. It was obvious that he had been standing behind it for a significant while, watching his son having a meltdown over his newborn.

Startled Tony tried to hastily wipe away the tears, hiding his face from his father as best as he could while balancing Tali in one arm. "Sorry, something got to into my eyes." He blurted out the most pathetic excuse for being caught crying but it was the only thing that came to his mind. "Yes, they really are a wonder."

Senior chuckled and shook his head lightly at his son's attempt to excuse his emotional state. "Something definitely got into your eyes." He agreed and pointed his finger at the little bundle in the creamy coloured blanket in his son's arms. "She did."

Tony laughed softly and resigned on trying to look like a tough man because at the moment, he was very far from being such a thing. Instead, he was a soft, gentle and tender father who was unable to tear his eyes away from his off-spring and if that made him to look weak in anyone's eyes, so be it. He couldn't care less because his love for Ziva and Tali was giving him the strength to stand against thousands of armies.

His father approached him and put a comforting hand on his shoulder, also taking a peek on the firstborn granddaughter he had never thought he might have. "If that's any consolation to you, son, not all tears are seen as a weakness in men." He told him knowingly, proving that he had really gotten wiser over the past few years. "When you were born, I cried, too."

Tony hid his amused smile by turning his head away from his father because _he knew_. A long-forgotten memory that just sprang in his mind made him recall how his mother had once told him to placate him that crying hadn't been a wrong thing. He was about six years old and Senior had gotten mad at him for crying due to scratch he had received on a playground. And now his father was actually approving of his emotional act.

"Thanks." He replied gratefully after he managed to pry the smile out of his face because as much as he found the confession amusing, he appreciated and wanted his father to know that.

Senior squeezed his shoulder once more and looked up from the sleeping Tali to glance at equally peaceful Ziva. "You should let them rest." He advised to his son in a whisper. Tony flinched in panic at the implication and although Senior understood his reluctance to leave the room, both girls needed some time to sleep without anyone else fidgeting around.

Not to mention that his son was in apparent need to get some sleep, as well. He had been awake for more than two days straight. The amount of stress created large bags under his eyes, his hair was dishevelled and while his gaze sparkled with joy and peace, his eyes often glazed under the tiredness that threatened to consume him. Since his son didn't have enough common sense to see it by himself, Senior had to act as the father he was to push him into the bed he so much needed. Because no, the armchair he was currently sitting on didn't count as a furniture good enough for sleeping.

"They're not going anywhere, I promise." He assured him gently as if he was talking to a frightened child, having the notion what kind of anxiety his son had to be going through.

The persuasive tone Senior used convinced Tony that he was right and he stood up to put Tali into her bassinet next to Ziva's bed, albeit with heavy heart. Both girls received a loving kiss on forehead from him and then he followed Senior out of the room, taking a last, longing glance at them before the door closed behind him. As the door had a glass see-through window, he immediately turned around to keep an eye on his treasure.

For a little while, he silently watched them and then he uttered a long, anxiety-filled sigh. "How am I going to do that, Dad? To protect this all from losing?" He asked with a tone laced with worry as he shoved his hands into his pockets to hide the tremble.

Senior wasn't at all surprised by the way of thinking his son had manifested and quite the contrary, he considered as natural. From his family to Ziva's and Gibbs' family, as well as the families of his colleagues, Tony had witnessed enough pain and loss to know that what had been hardly gained, could have been lost just as easily. And considering Tony's issues with fear of abandonment, no one could wonder his thoughts drifted to those dark corners of his mind.

"You will do your best as you always do, Junior. You're the very best person for protecting what you love." He assured him with gentle tap on his shoulder before withdrawing his hand in a shameful manner. When he next spoke, his voice sounded sad and defeated. "Unlike me."

To his surprise, Tony vehemently shook his head in denial of the previous statement, albeit not tearing his eyes off the two gems behind the door. "You didn't fail in protection, Dad, because you didn't kill mom. The disease did." He stated absent-mindedly, yet firmly as if it was something he genuinely believed in for his whole life. "Sometimes, there are things beyond our control and mom's death was one of them."

Awestruck Senior who had always blamed himself for not doing enough to save the piece of family happiness he had had, gasped under the wave of emotion that washed over him. He and his son had constructed a fragile fortress of their relationship based on broken trust and awful memories and as they had kept encountering each other over the years, the fortress' walls either weakened or strengthened. Now it felt as if unbreakable cement forever solidified all the ancient cracks.

"You're a good son." Senior uttered and gently turned Tony so they could talk face to face. He wanted him to know what the words he had said meant to him and how deep peace brought into his heart. "Far better than I could ever wish for."

Tony was taken aback by the sudden warmth in Senior's words for he wasn't aware of saying anything that would be new or unknown but he didn't complain when his father spread his arms and offered him a hug. In a way, Senior's embrace was comforting since he was his parent and Tony would lie if he said that he hadn't craved a good comfort because the last few hours had put his biorhythm out of tune and he needed something familiar around himself.

After a short while, Senior pulled back, his composure back in the line. "Either way, you can't constantly occupy your mind with such thoughts, Junior. I admit that our family happiness was short-lived and yes, sometimes there are things beyond our control." He spoke up in concern of his son's anxiety and insecurity, trying to pour the confidence and assurance into his veins instead. "But I want you to spend the time with your family. You can worry, but reasonably. You would greatly regret hunting down and eliminating every single threat to your family instead of actually being with them, trust me."

Tony took a deep breath and exhaled slowly in order to calm down the knots binding his innards and chest together. "I know, I guess I just needed to hear that." He conceded because he certainly wanted to live and be with his family while protecting it and not to be constantly on watch without seeing them. "Thanks."

Senior smiled at him in response and foxily winked at the girls behind the door as if he wanted to tell them that he took care of their future as they had asked him to. Then, he turned his head back to his son with adamantly parental expression on his face. "Now, go get some sleep, too, son." He tried to pursue Tony amicably at first. He wasn't sure how great resistance Tony was able to muster up so he prepared a couple of aces in his sleeve. The strategy was to pull out the big guns as the last option.

"No, I'm fine." Tony shrugged off his parenting order quickly, his gaze once again drawn to the room behind the door with Ziva and Tali in it. It didn't matter to him that his eyes were closing on their own here and then, he kept fighting the fatigue relentlessly.

Senior heaved a sigh and grabbed his son's shoulders resolutely. "Junior! You have been awake for fifty three hours or so, you MUST sleep." He almost punctuated every single word in the sentence urgently because his son apparently ignored all the biological signs his body was sending him.

"Forget it, Dad. I am not leaving the hospital." Tony argued with passionate determination, swatting his father's hands away from his shoulders as if the touch was burning him. He couldn't leave his precious treasure without protection and he didn't trust anyone but himself to do the job. He couldn't go to sleep because the option he might wake up only to find out that it had been all a dream was very likely.

"You are no use to your fiancée and your daughter as a sleep-deprived zombie, so stop arguing with me on this." Senior didn't back down, however, having his son's welfare as a top priority. "You will go to sleep but you don't have to leave the hospital."

With a foxy smile typical for DiNozzo men as Tony had inherited it, too, Senior pulled a key card from a hotel room out of his pocket. "We have already arranged a bed for you in the hotel behind the hospital. You will be only a few steps away." He assured his son that he didn't have to worry about any distance. If anything happened, he was practically immediately reachable.

Tony, who started to feel the fatigue was getting too much for him to handle, mutely stared at him with his lips parted for a moment. "How?" He managed to utter, wondering how anyone could have known that he had been adamant on staying and not wanting to leave.

"You have very good friends, Junior." Senior replied with a warm smile. The memory of Abby, McGee, Ellie, Terry and her husband David, Jimmy and Breena joining forces together in order to find the best suitable place for Tony to crash was still vivid in his mind. He and Gibbs hadn't had to move a single finger, their only duty had been to convince Tony to actually go to sleep and Gibbs had let Senior to take care of it.

Tony gave out a chuckle of amusement as he finally understood where all of his friends had disappeared. Not that he held it against them but it was quite odd from them to just leave him alone. Surely, he had underestimated them which was a mistake he embraced at this very moment. As much as he didn't want to leave, the sleep deprivation was very exhausting and it was a matter of time until his mental state would suffer just like the physical one.

Senior could detect the resignation blooming in him and so he took him by his arm gently and pulled him away from the maternity ward. "Come, I'll take you there." He beckoned and Tony slowly trotted after him, being careful so his legs wouldn't give away.

* * *

Whistling the theme from the movie _Twisted Nerve_ , composed by Bernard Herrmann and commonly known thanks to a scene in Quentin Tarantino's movie Kill Bill, vol. 1 during which the character of Elle Driver impersonates a nurse in the hospital to assassinate the main character Beatrix Kiddo in a coma, Tony walked through the hospital corridors with a wide smile on his lips.

Some of the personnel he met on his way were giving him a strange look but he chose to ignore that. He'd been used to people wondering about his movies taste and appropriate usage of various quotes from them. Plus, he had no reason to scowl on the world as the love of his life and the fruit of their mutual affection for each other were coming home today.

He had already put all the necessary things into the car, so the only thing he had to do was to pick up Ziva and Tali and drive his little family to the apartment. Rounding the corner, he spotted his fiancée putting their peacefully sleeping daughter into the portable baby car seat, pausing to enjoy the moment. Tali was born technically a couple of days ago and he had instantly fell in love watching Ziva taking care of her.

"I always knew you would be a terrific mother." He commented sweetly as he approached them while Ziva finished strapping her daughter in the car seat.

Ziva stood up and accepted the amazingly delicious kiss from Tony, checking on Tali in the meantime as the multitasking mother she apparently was. "Just wait when she grows into her teenage years. If she inherits anything from either of us or her namesake in that regard, then I am going to lose my mind for sure." She joked and waved goodbye at the nurses who had been taking care of her during her stay.

As Tony laughed heartily at her statement, she gathered all her remaining stuff and grabbed the car seat, handing it over to Tony. "Be careful with her, she has just fallen asleep." She instructed him with a serious face because knowing Tony, he was capable of rocking her or swinging her in the air and she was sure the newborn couldn't take that much of her father's antics. And while her mental state was in a very good condition, her body was extremely sore from the delivery so she needed Tony to take the car seat.

"She's the apple of my eye and I will guard and cherish her as such." Tony replied simply, feigning being offended when he took the baby car seat from her. Under zero circumstances he would willingly allow anything to harm his precious treasure.

Ziva smiled at him warmly, liking his growing confidence as a father. At first, she thought he might be freaking out more than she was but apparently, some people were born with some kind of a switch in their bodies that aroused all the right parenting instincts and he was one of them. From the beginning until now, he was nothing but attentive and perfect in all the ways she needed him to be.

Then they set out on the way out of the hospital, Ziva carrying her personal stuff and Tony hoisting the car seat on his shoulder on a special strap he had purchased with this intent. As they walked through the corridors, he told her how he had gone to see the apartment two floors down in their apartment building yesterday because yes, he had managed to leave the hospital for a little while.

The apartment that was significantly larger than his and thus provided enough space for two people and a child, was about to be vacated by its long-time inhabitants. Since their housing situation required a change, Tony and Ziva reported their interest to exchange the apartment for their old one. Moving would be piece of cake and Senior had already expressed the wish to move into the building as well to spend most of his time with his family.

The landlord had no objections, although his earlier experience with Senior made him a little bit uncertain but Tony had vouched for his father. The soon-to-be previous tenants had let him to take a look at the apartment and he had loved it. Sure, some adjustments and modifications were needed in order to match his and Ziva's taste but nothing that couldn't be done. Basically, he had already struck a deal with them.

When they exited the hospital, Tony suddenly stopped in his tracks and froze on the spot, his words leaving him in the midsentence, with only a jumble of incomprehensible squeaks coming out of his mouth. Ziva took a couple of additional steps before halting her stride, too, turning around to see what was wrong with him that he had seized his step and stared wide-eyed at something in front of them.

Curiously and with natural confusion, she made a turn to see what had taken Tony's words away. Her eyebrows furrowing, she saw an equally shocked woman who gaped at them unabashedly as if she had just met her living nightmare. She was slender, well-dressed in a black pantsuit with a nice bob cut that made her look slightly younger but Ziva estimated her age to be around Tony's.

She hadn't spent all those years doing detective's work to not be able to put two and two together. Obviously, the woman and Tony knew each other, whatever their relation was, although knowing Tony, she didn't have to spend many sleepless nights to crack the secret. And apparently, neither of them expected to meet one another at this very moment in this very place.

Making a decision not to interfere, she waited for them to snap out of their state of shock and take some action. Her stance, however, changed to the protection phase as she wasn't completely sure about the woman's intentions and neither a mother, nor a fiancée would deliberately let anyone harmful near her child or husband-to-be. It was nothing threatening on it, more like a warning hanging in the air.

Tony would like to pinch himself to ascertain that it was all just a bad dream and he could wake up but his bones were so weak and his body so paralyzed that he could barely move his eyelid to blink. The woman in front of them was the last person he had ever wanted to meet, not because he hated her but because he didn't want to hurt her even more than he had already done.

He made no attempt to end this staring contest, though, no matter how quickly he was coming to his senses to realize that Ziva had to feel puzzled the most out of them. He wanted to give the woman the privilege of decision – to either choose the confrontation or rather opt out and depart, their relation unacknowledged. It would be then up to him to later explain Ziva what this whole encounter was about.

As if the woman sensed his silent gesture, she made her choice and approached the pair cautiously, her gaze momentarily slipping to Ziva. Stopping in the reasonable distance as she felt a vigilant surge from her female counterpart, she nodded towards Tony. "Hey." She uttered meekly, shoving her hands into her back pockets.

"Hey." Tony rasped in response, still rigidly rooted to the very same spot, unable to move.

The last time he had seen her, she was huddling on a kitchen chair, trying to build a protective wall around herself to keep the pain he had caused her away. Back then, he had told her everything he could have thought of, closing this chapter of his life but suddenly, he felt as if there was more to tell, more to do and yet, he could barely think of any words or appropriate actions.

Before he could muster up enough courage to introduce the two women to each other, a man came up behind them, stopping beside the woman. "Zoe?" He asked her with worry in his voice.

He attempted to touch her but she swatted his hand away and squeezed his shoulder instead, pushing him forwards. "Go, I'll be right there." She sent him on his way, not wanting anyone close to her to be part of this awkward encounter.

When the man was gone, Tony finally took the initiative and cleared his throat. "Ziva, this is Zoe." He said somewhat nervously because Ziva had to already have the notion who this woman was. "Zoe, this is Ziva."

Although both women did know about each other's existence and had heard a lot about the other so they should feel familiar, they couldn't stop themselves from curious and close inspection. Neither of them moved but their eyes did the dance of the two beasts prowling in the circle, waiting for the right time to attack, for them. If it was appropriate, they would unveil their fangs and snarl menacingly but they were mere humans, not bloodthirsty predators.

And Ziva didn't feel as if she was supposed to hold any grudge against her. After all, in this little never fought battle over Tony, she was the ultimate winner and there was nothing the woman in front of her could do about it. Rather, she focused on the appearance qualities, as well as the hidden ones beneath the stony, scrutinizing look to see if Tony didn't lose anything from his usual taste.

Zoe recalled everything Tony had told her about Ziva and couldn't stop the wave of admiration towards the woman who had been through so much and yet looked stronger than a walled fortress. While she should hate her and envy her the fondness in Tony's eyes she had noticed, those feelings somehow didn't reach her heart. It was just a bittersweet taste on her tongue that bothered her.

"Zoe Keates." She spluttered her name out in order to get rid of the unpleasant aftertaste of her thoughts, stretching her hand out towards Ziva. "It's... _interesting_ to meet you."

'Interesting' was probably the only neutral word she could come up with on such a short notice. There was so much she wanted to tell the woman and so many things she never wanted her to know, so many nasty words she desired to fire at her and so much admiration to express in her direction. Contradiction in her emotions caused a little havoc in her head but she did her best to keep the composure.

"Ziva David." Her counterpart accepted the outstretched hand and briefly shook it with a curious smile "The feeling is mutual."

If the introduction was supposed to break some ice among the four-person group, such miracle wasn't allowed to happen. The silence that followed afterwards was spasmodically awkward and uncomfortable as none of them was sure what to actually say or how to act and whether to react on Zoe's sudden and apparent shock expressed by an audible gasp when she registered the newborn baby in the car seat Tony was holding.

"What are you doing here?" Tony shot in Zoe's direction quickly as if the words were burning in his throat and he needed to get them out. He didn't mean to sound harsh, though, he just wanted to steer the attention from Tali.

It had the desired effect as Zoe turned her eyes away from the baby in the car seat and moved them to look into Tony's face. "My colleague was shot; I came to visit him in the post-op." She replied with a shrug to show that she didn't plan on running into them at all. It wasn't like she engineered some plan to force this situation to occur.

"We are so sorry to hear that." Ziva immediately said with compassion, the memories of Tony's injury still fresh in her mind. "Please, do accept our sympathies. It is not that long ago when we went through the same situation."

The usage of first person plural was entirely intentional, despite Ziva being relatively okay with the whole situation. It was just another subtle hint not directed particularly at anyone, but just used to sign to even the oblivious ones that she and Tony made a couple that couldn't be broken apart, no matter what unholy and demonic forces would try to achieve just so.

Zoe nodded at her gratefully to sincerely appreciate her sympathetic gesture, her eyes slipping back towards Tony because it was clear to her that if anyone had been shot from those two, it had been him. Their relationship was a fiasco both of them wished to forget, bury and never dig up again, but she didn't wish him anything wrong and cared for him enough to be worried upon hearing about his injury.

"Anyway," Ziva threw her hands up in attempt to disperse some of the tense atmosphere, "I should go to... uhm..." She pointed at their car and turned around to face Tony.

He looked back at her mutely, having no notion what she had in mind but when she stretched her hands out to take the baby car seat with Tali in it, he tightened the grip on the handle, refusing to let go of it. Tali was currently his anchor, the only the thing that kept him upright and standing firmly on the ground. Only for her he didn't do anything reckless or stupid in order to end this uncomfortable confrontation.

As if Ziva understood his need to keep their daughter close, she chose to raise herself on her tiptoes to peck Tony on his cheek instead. "I will wait for you in the car." She whispered loud enough and retreated with a goodbye wave and a smile in Zoe's direction.

It was a smart move to leave them alone, she was sure of it. Tony could do a little to promptly react to her vanishing act and so he was forced to actually talk to Zoe and have words with her if needed to clear the air between them once and for all. She wasn't obtuse to not see that they were things those two needed to say to each other and her presence was a bit of hindrance as they both rather kept their mouth shut out of respect for her.

Zoe watched her for a moment before looking back up at Tony. "You were shot?" She asked him with a detectable worry in her voice that surprised the man in front of her but pleasantly.

"Left thigh, a couple of months ago. Not my greatest moment." He confirmed sort of guiltily, still feeling the sliver of shame in his bones.

She nodded in acknowledgement and breathed out a barely audible sigh of relief because she could see that he didn't have any problems standing, thus no health issues as a consequence of that injury. Coming up to him, now more confident with Ziva's indirect agreement to do so, she focused her gaze on the newborn baby in the car seat. "It's yours and...?" She asked politely, waving her hand back on Ziva's form stuffing things into the trunk.

"Yeah. Our daughter Tali." He proudly replied and raised the baby car seat so Zoe could take a closer look.

Zoe smiled at her because she was the most adorable thing she had ever seen and certain sweet words about it started to form on the tip of her tongue. But as the gears in her head started to spin and she started to put two and two together, the sweetness turned into venom and the bittersweet aftertaste reappeared in her mouth, no matter how hard she tried to swallow it.

She didn't have to be somewhat great mathematician to do the easy math and calculate what Tali's existence meant for her relationship with Tony. The baby was a newborn, a couple of days old. With the usual pregnancy duration of nine months, Tali had to be conceived either during the time Zoe and Tony had still officially been together or shortly after their breakup.

It wasn't supposed to hurt but it damn did. She wasn't naive to think Tony would be a fan of celibacy, after all he had outright admitted that he had cheated on her but still... the thin veil forming the patch on the hole in her heart that was slowly but certainly healing suddenly got thinner. And it was laughable because while she had dreamt about having a future together, children always were something vague, uncertain, especially since she was already over 40 years of age. She wasn't supposed to feel the pain and yet, she did.

A ragged sigh ripped through her throat and Tony wasn't deaf to it at all. "Zoe..." He began but his words soon failed him. He could guess very well what she was thinking about when her smile changed into a painful frown.

"No, Tony. It's okay." She immediately interrupted him, raising her head high because she promised herself that she wouldn't get so deeply hurt ever again. It hurt, yes, but she wouldn't allow it to drag her down. "I'm not saying that our breakup was the best thing that has ever happened to me but in a way, it was really for the best."

He remained silent, giving her the space and opportunity to tell him whatever she needed because he could imagine the amount of suppressed anger she had to feel towards him. "It made me realize a lot of things and I feel now more... in harmony with myself and the world and it's a place I really like." She continued with an amused smirk when she saw his perplexed expression because he had surely expected from her to call him a few nasty names. "And it's also thanks to you."

Gratitude wasn't something he was prepared for so he had to mentally shake off the shock that riddled through him. But it was nice to see the proof of the claim that things happened in life for some reason. While they failed as a couple, it had given them a lifetime experience and lesson for the future they would remember until the end of their lives. And he was extremely thankful for it.

"Besides, I'm not alone." She suddenly turned red and her shy smile gave away the fresh amorousness. "Our agency might have some fraternization rules but definitely not that strict such as Rule 12 that would prevent us from falling in love."

He actually couldn't stop himself from giving out a chuckle at the statement which was a good jab at Gibbs' rules. She hated his idolization of Gibbs and never omitted to mention to him whenever the right moment had occurred. "I'm really glad. Congratulations." He wished her, realizing that the man who had been standing next to her earlier had to be the lucky guy.

She thanked him with a smile and took a deep breath because what had been said between them so far finally seemed to break the ice, the tense atmosphere gone. "Well, congratulations mainly to you. I mean, look at you – you've become a father and a married man." She appreciated his growth sincerely because she was truly happy for him. All bad memories aside, she was pleased to see him content.

Tony lifted the hand with his engagement ring and turned it over, impressed with her sense for little details. "Engaged." He corrected her but it was obvious how delighted he was with the fact alone. "We're not married yet but yeah, it's in the plan."

"Good for you both, you deserve it." She said and looked at the newborn bundle in the baby car seat, this time absolutely taken away by her cuteness. One day, the girl would break a lot of men's hearts with her beauty for sure. But she would also leave a sweet scent of part of her soul that would make those men even better men than they were before. At least if she would be anything like her parents.

Stretching out her hand, she turned back to Tony and lightly touched his face. "Goodbye, Anthony DiNozzo. Be well." She bid her farewell and walked past him to finally enter the hospital, catch up with her boyfriend and visit her injured colleague.

For a moment, Tony stood still so he could absorb everything that had happened for the past few minutes and then he laughed. He realized she had said goodbye to him in the same way he had bid his farewell to her a couple of months ago. Yeah, he apparently had a taste for women who revelled in symbolism or something. Shaking his head, he set out the way towards the car.

Ziva made no remark when he approached her but her smirk she didn't even try to hide showed enough how amused she was. "That was awful from you, you know that?" He complained hurtfully but the anger didn't reach his eyes at all and she knew he was joking.

Taking Tali from him, she stuck out her tongue cheekily and turned around to strap the baby car seat inside so they could go finally home. "Oh come on... it was already awkward enough with me there, you two needed some space to sort a couple of things out." She objected with a huff as she adjusted the straps and then straightened back up only to bow down once more to check up on her work again.

"Aren't you supposed to be a little bit jealous because she was your rival?" Tony asked with a pout as he obediently went to sit down on the passenger's seat because he apparently wasn't about to drive her home today, considering the determination she had displayed during opening the door from the driver's seat.

"Oh please..." She rolled her eyes at him and sank down on the seat, putting the car key in the ignition. "You love me. We have a child together. I have no reason to be jealous or to be afraid to leave you alone with your ex within my eyesight."

Part of him wanted to doubt her because he liked when she showed some jealousy and was possessive. It was a rare sight but it made him feel like a God because she never overdid it and was always respectful. The other part, though, found her confidence immensely endearing because it meant she unconditionally trusted him. There was nothing else he could ever ask for.

He watched her with a smile as she adjusted the rear-view mirror to see both the traffic behind her and the daughter on the backseat. Checking up on their sleeping daughter, he nodded in assurance at her that everything was set and she could start the car up without any fear that Tali might get hurt. The reason why she had insisted on driving was actually that simple – she wanted to have the control behind the wheel to ensure safety of those she loved.

"Are you really that certain with my love for you?" He asked her as they were leaving the hospital's parking lot. It was a mere curiosity, born out of pleasure of having her trust. He didn't mean to prod her to some deep conversation about their relationship.

She looked him up and down before stepping her foot on the accelerator, keeping the reasonable speed up that wouldn't get her in any trouble. "Well, if something happened to me, and so if you had to, you would drag me back in a heartbeat, right? No questions asked, no consequences to consider?" She asked him rhetorically, although is spontaneous reaction was to immediately nod in affirmation.

She chuckled because his reaction gave him away in a way she expected. He was sometimes way too easy to read. "You can bet I sure am." She confirmed with a sweet, self-satisfied smile she reserved only for him as his bride-to-be and the woman who loved him the most in the whole world.

_**The End of Chapter 41** _


	42. Chapter 42

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 42** _

Tony put down the glass of whiskey he had poured for himself on the coffee table and sank into the couch with a weary sigh. For a hundredth time that day, he looked around the apartment with a wistful look and then shrugged his shoulders. He knew he shouldn't complain but while the new apartment they had moved into was charmingly cosy, spacious enough and simply _theirs_ , it was taking him quite a lot of time to adapt.

It had been three months since his daughter was born and nearly the same stretch of time since they had moved into this new apartment in the very same condo he had been living for ages. He couldn't say that he didn't love it – aside some necessary furniture purchases, they had kept most of his furnishings and Tony had taken care of changing the decor according to his taste (Ziva hadn't showed any objections).

However, while he had considered this new apartment his home because that was where his fiancée and child lived with him, he often let his mind wander to his old apartment, now inhabited by his father. It was nothing but nostalgia, he knew it but letting go of the one stable thing in his life that had never let him down proved to be harder than he had originally imagined.

And maybe it was the fact that he was currently alone for the first time in months in the apartment, all on his lonesome. He had never felt so small in his previous apartment like he did just now, sitting in the large living room with a TV on and a laptop on the coffee table in front of him next to the glass of whiskey. When Ziva and Tali were home, this new apartment felt more... full and he was the integral part of the whole household.

But Ziva had departed to Tel Aviv a few hours ago, naturally with Tali as she was breast-feeding her and generally, it was better for everyone if Tali travelled with her mother, instead of staying home in D.C. He was extremely reluctant to let them leave without him but his work duties had given him no other choice. At the very least, he'd managed to arrange his leave of absence on the last two weeks in December as he had planned to completely devote his time to his family.

At the moment, Ziva and Tali were surely on their way to Haifa. He had already received a text about their safe landing, not to mention a solid proof from Terri who had sent him a photo of the three of them in front of the Ben Gurion Airport. He didn't like the separation but understood it was necessary, especially when he couldn't be but proud of his soon-to-be Mrs. DiNozzo.

She was accepted to the University of Maryland but had been forced to delay her further studies due to the childbirth and the subsequent maternity leave. She also wanted to conclude her student duties at the University of Haifa but due to the pregnancy and all, she hadn't been allowed to fly there over in May for exams. Striking a deal with her teachers, they agreed on December alternative terms so she could pass all the required goals.

Therefore the two-week trip to Haifa was necessary. Tony didn't have any problems with trusting Ziva because just the sheer idea she would run away from him without any reason and after everything they had been through for the past few months and with a child that connected them forever, was absolutely laughable. He was more concerned about their safety and naturally, he missed them.

But at least he could count on his friends – Terri didn't permit any worries about it and provided a comfort he needed. She had offered immediately to pick them up on the airport and driving them to Haifa, booking the hotel for them AND spending those two weeks with them to help out Ziva with Tali, taking care of the fruit of their love. He was way calmer, knowing that his girls were still with someone who wouldn't ever allow any discomfort near them.

And while they were about to deal with this, he was tasked with decorating their new apartment to give the right Christmassy feeling. As if his wife-to-be sensed that he wasn't entirely settled in the apartment and came up with an activity that might actually achieve that. He actually planned to go shopping tomorrow for the decorations according to his taste and devote some of his free time to turn the apartment into the Christmas dream.

But for now, he had a duty to accomplish. Stretching out to get the remote control, he lowered the TV sound and pressed the play button on the music playlist he had been listening to earlier. Then, he pushed the pile of files towards him, taking the first file on the top into his hands, flipping it open, trying to muster up some interest as he knew that this wouldn't be an easy or engrossing read.

It had actually astonished him how many people were apparently interested in working with him. The pile of files consisted résumés of various agents from NCIS who applied to be on his team – well, if he would actually get one. It had been a couple of weeks since he had fulfilled every single step in order to become a leader of a team of his own and yet, he hadn't heard a word back from the committee with Vance having no direct influence over them.

It was excruciating to just _sit and wait_ but there was no alternative. Meanwhile, the word spread out and without even calling up on the people to do so, he was regularly greeted with at least one file on his desk the next day when he came to work. It was hard not to take it as an obvious sign of a success but he kept his cool. Too many times in his life he had thought that he had it all sewn up and then, all fell apart.

Yawning, he took a sip from his whiskey glass, laughing softly at the résumé he was just reading. He always looked for some amusing fact, however not for mocking people but just to enlighten the often boring read. He would never blame any of the agents for constructing their résumés badly, though. It was just their natural attribute. And honestly, his résumé wasn't any better, either.

An unmistakable sound of a video call suddenly roused him from the apathy he was starting to feel. Looking at the screen to see who the caller was, a wide smile spread across his face. And even wider smile appeared when he accepted the call and caught a sight of the woman he loved the most in this whole universe. Sure, he had to wait for a few seconds to let the signals balance out each other but seeing her blurred version was just enough.

"Hello, handsome." She greeted him in the chillingly beautiful accent that seemed to thicken every time she arrived to her home country.

He waved back at her, too emotional to get any words through his throat, as he stared at her appearance. She looked tired, exhausted even but the longing in her eyes showed that she missed him just as he missed her and she simply needed to see him, as well as talk to him before nodding off and giving herself over to the deepness of her dreams. He loved her for the urge she couldn't resist.

"My handsome is nothing compared to your beauty." He responded with a sigh, his heart beating wildly and if anyone would try to tell him that it wasn't love, he would gladly rip it out to prove his point. "Hey."

She opened her mouth to play down his compliment but she was flattered enough by it that she only smiled and scrunched her nose adorably. He had always been quite straightforward about her alleged prettiness but since they had been together, he never missed a moment to point it out. While it might seem it could lose its appeal, it hadn't happened so far. And she never took those compliments for granted.

Her daughter next to her suddenly mumbled something and she immediately turned to look at her to make sure she was alright. "I think someone here wants to say hi to you, as well." She remarked after she saw the wide opened eyes of her gorgeous offspring, moving her adorable mouth silently as she was attempting to say something.

Ziva picked her up and adjusted her position in her arms so Tali could face the camera, kissing her slightly haired head lovingly. Securing the baby with one hand, she took the littlest arm imaginable and helped Tali to wave back at her father. "Say 'Hello, Dad!'" She invited her with a huge smile on her face.

Tali stared in front of her motionlessly for a moment and then attempted to make some sort of wave with her little fingers, channelling the energy by sucking the pacifier in her mouth intensively. Even such a mere action would melt the heart of the toughest man, especially if he was a father. So it was no wonder that the Dad in question was moved beyond words, tears streaming down his face.

He missed them like crazy, as if they were the only reason he was still alive because they supplied him with all the necessary things to satisfy his most important needs. He loved them already before he both had them and yet, his love was stronger and stronger by each passing day, sometimes bordering with harmless obsession. And right now, he was aching to touch them both, to make sure they were both tangible and real but he couldn't.

Ziva's eyes glistened with unshed tears, too, when she noticed how emotional Tony was. But knowing that she wasn't alone in being sentimental and overly sensitive give her the so much needed strength to pull through this. If they survived this separation, they would survive everything together, she was sure of it. As always, Tony was the hard rock she gratefully leaned against for support, although he was miles away at the moment.

Hastily wiping the tears away, Tony cleared his vision so he wouldn't lose the sight of his most precious things in the galaxy. "Damn, I'd never guess that it might be so hard." He said shakily, watching as Ziva put Tali back on the place next to her on the couch to let her rest.

"Yeah, I know." Ziva replied sadly, feeling somewhat guilty that her personal life goals had caused the current unwanted separation. "But we have to be strong, it is just two weeks."

Tony nodded in affirmation and smiled at her encouragingly. They both knew they would prefer to be together and never leave each other but on the other hand, their duties and interests needed to have some fulfilment, as well. As much as they loved their daughter and their life together, they were normal human beings with jobs, friends, hobbies and other real-life demands and it was important to find the space for devoting the time for them.

"So, how was the flight? How did you managed with the little one?" He asked her to crack the thin veil full of emotions and get practical instead.

She looked at their daughter and then directly at him at first and then chuckled. "We have an amazing daughter, I must say. She was absolutely fantastic." She remarked as she pretended to sigh in relief and wipe the imaginary sweat out of her forehead. "Actually, I think she fell in love with flying which is a good thing."

He smiled and internally gave out a sigh of relief as one of the knots full of tension inside his heart just got untied. "No troubles then? No bawling child, screaming her lungs out, irritating everyone on the plane?" He asked to be sure.

"Well, she was a bit annoying when we were waiting at the airport for the connection flight but other than that... she either slept or I gave her something to play with and she was utterly fascinated by it for hours." She described their sky adventure from Washington D.C. to Tel Aviv.

She was terrified at first to fly with such a little baby but Tali had been an exemplary child passenger. Whenever she needed something like change the diaper or simply hold for comfort, she mumbled her typical passages of sounds and Ziva could take care of her needs before Tali even knew anything happened. She definitely considered herself lucky and hoped that it wasn't just a pure phase in her daughter's life because she wanted this to become a norm.

"Yeah, we DiNozzos can get fascinated pretty quickly and for a very long time." Tony cracked smile, proud of both his well-behaved daughter, as well as his brave fiancée.

A bubbly laughter sound came out of the other side of the line and it wasn't Ziva to roar with laughter so openly. "Hey, Terri!" Tony greeted the brunette who suddenly appeared behind Ziva's back, trying to bite back her amusement.

"Well, hello Tony." She waved back, checking up quickly on Tali as she disappeared again to move the rest of the things to their respective rooms.

For their comfort, Terri rented an apartment from a mutual friend of hers and David who was visiting his family abroad for Christmas. It was more comfortable than being with a little child in a hotel room as this ground floor apartment provided them with enough space and a garden, not to mention the convenient closeness to the university's premises. She truly had surpassed herself.

Ziva yawned loudly without a mere attempt to hide her widely opened mouth and nodded at the file next to Tony on the couch she had noticed earlier. "Are you reading another file or is it one of the previous ones?" She asked him, the unmistakable gleam of pride filling her eyes.

"This is a new one." He replied with a helpless shrug and desperate scratch of his head. "Third one this week."

She sensed his apprehension, despite being separated by an ocean and continents. One look in his eyes, a slight tremble in his voice and she knew that he wasn't feeling too well. "I know that you do not want to sound like you are complaining but it does seem to bother you a lot." She pointed out, carefully choosing her words and her tone so it wouldn't seem as if she was scolding him for unnecessary whining.

"And I do not understand why. If anything, it is a sign of how excellent agent you are when so many people are interested in being in a team _you_ will lead." She tried to pour some confidence into his doubts, knowing how frustrated he felt. "It is a success on its own."

Tony clasped his two hands over his nose and massaged the middle part of his face with the edge of his fingers. "I know but... It feels like I don't even have the right to read them." He sighed and warmth spread through his body as instead of rolling her eyes at him, she smiled at him encouragingly as if he could do anything in the world if he willed so. "It's just making me crazy not to know anything and it seems that I am just building castles in the air in hope that they would turn out to be real."

She understood his frustration and unease quite well, yet she wasn't losing the hope in him. "There may not be any indication about a positive result, but there is no indication about a negative result, either. And as a person of positive thinking, you should rather focus on the best option, not the worst." She reminded him and he couldn't help but smile because he loved when she tried to make him feel better. "Keep reading the files. Those people did not give you them without a reason, Tony."

He nodded in defeat but his hand started to itch whenever he even looked at the pile of files. Not because he couldn't wait to take another one and start reading, more like he didn't deserve to even lay his finger on them. He hated the inner struggle of his self-confidence and self-doubt but it was way too uncertain to crack it and let one of the sides to win. The possibility of self-doubt to take over his mind was too high.

Noticing his ongoing distress, she decided to touch upon the subsurface problem concerning the files. "There is also a question whether you wish to build an entirely new team from the scratch or take over an existing one." She began softly, carefully examining how far she could go without him snapping at her. "Which means whether to choose among all of these candidates or..."

"Or take over the Team Tudor, I know." He finished her sentence with hands clasped over his mouth, wondering for umpteenth time how it was possible that she could know him so well to guess his inner thoughts. "They do have the advantage of long-standing friendship, they are well-coordinated and top-notch agents, all of them. But on the other hand, I would have to disappoint all of these enthusiastic people. Some of the resumes are _really_ good."

Ziva sat back, eying him for a moment as she subconsciously reached for the little foot of her daughter, caressing her in her attempt to doze off. "Did you know that Bishop applied for my position when I left NCIS after Michael's death?" She asked him absent-mindedly, staring off in the open space, reminiscing about the moment Ellie had confessed this to her. "And that she was told she wasn't accepted after I returned so she took the NSA job instead?"

"Yeah, I did." He responded with a furrow of his eyebrows, apparently missing the point of the question because he wasn't able to find any connection to their previous dialogue.

"Well, here you have it. Life is often unpredictable and things we want are not always accessible for us on the first try." She clarified on Bishop's example as Ellie's first try hadn't worked out but she had become a NCIS agent, anyway. "No one knows if Team Tudor remains in the same composition for the rest of your career."

Looking at him affectionately into the camera, she wished she could run her fingers through his hair and body endlessly as she always did when they had a talk like this. "So, to prepare for such eventuality, read the files, take notice of the ones you like and let them know it despite the rejection." She suggested simply, ending the sentence with another yawn. "Like that, you will have a person to potentially offer the position to without going through the files all over again."

He had to admit that her reasoning did have a point and so he accepted it without any objections. Seeing her yawning again, though, he realized that she needed to rest, no matter how comforting and satisfying it was to look at her, albeit only through computer screen. He couldn't even imagine how stressful this whole trip had to be for her and that she most likely hadn't dared to bat an eyelash, let alone close her eyes for a moment.

"I should let you sleep, you obviously need it." He commented another yawn from her that didn't seem to stop occurring.

She smiled at him gratefully, raking her hair to massage her skull in order to keep herself awake for few more minutes. "Now that I saw and heard you, I can embark on the voyage to Dreamland, true. So, talk to you later?" She said with undying hope in her eyes, knowing that the time window for their calls was very limited.

"Talk to you later." He confirmed and sent two loving kissing in her and Tali's direction. "Sweet dreams, my Princess and my Queen. I love you both."

She pretended to catch the kisses with each hand, pressed her right palm on Tali's face to 'transfer' her father's kiss on her and doing the same with her left palm, only pressing it to her mouth. " _We_ love you, too." She confessed with emotion, sending him the affectionate kiss in return and watching as he caught it, pressing his palms to his heart.

With a heavy sigh as if her heart was torn apart, she ended the call because she knew that if she didn't do it, she would never do it and she really needed to get some sleep. On the other side of line, Tony stared at the black screen for a minute or two, allowing to his erratically beating heart to calm down. Shortly after, he took the file next to him and kept on reading peacefully.

* * *

Comparison was sometimes a very insightful thing to do, Tony DiNozzo had to admit that. He usually compared things only during doing his work, his personal life off-limits to this specific analytic action since certain time when he had realized that comparing his favourite movies was too exhausting so he had rather learnt to revel in interesting connections among them.

But this time, he was willing to make an exception, especially because comparing his life a nearly year ago and now was actually a pleasant activity. When he thought back to the depressed, dejected and unhappy person he had been before last year's Christmas, he couldn't believe what a mere twelve months filled with nothing but heart-warming love could do to a man.

Because here he was – from a non-functioning relationship on the edge of a break-up to a new girlfriend he was about to marry in a few months. From a grim vision of having no children in the near future to a father of a newborn daughter. From an instant rival relationship with his boss to a peaceful, friendly father/son exchanges again. And from senior field agent to a team leader.

Yes, the committee had finally announced their verdict and he was confirmed as a new team leader starting January 2017. He had already decided to take over Team Tudor that operated under interim leadership of its SFA Edward after Special Agent Andrew Stewart retired earlier that year and on the basis of Ziva's advice, he let know the people who had sent him their resume how much he appreciated it.

It was a blessed day for him, despite having his family still in Israel, their arrival still too far away for his liking. He immediately texted Ziva the good news and after a celebration dinner with his father, he headed home to talk to her through a video call he was certain they were about to have. Further celebration with his friends was put off until Ziva and Tali would be back to have the whole family back together.

He barely had the time to put down his backpack after the return back home when she sent him a text he couldn't help but stare in confusion for a couple of mute seconds. _'Are you alone tonight? Want to play a game?'_ Completely dumbfounded by the first sentence, wondering how could she even consider that he wouldn't be alone since they had agreed on a video call tonight anyway, he absolutely ignored the second sentence as he texted back.

' _Of course I'm alone. I have nowhere else to be than with you tonight.'_ He quickly typed as he shrugged off the jacket out of his shoulders, throwing it across the couch. He opened the laptop to push the power button and went to the kitchen to retrieve a glass for the red wine he had purchased for his personal celebration with Ziva. He checked his texts again, only to find a winking emoji as a reply.

Briefly visiting the bathroom to check up on his appearance, he flopped down on the couch and poured himself a glass, his heart beating erratically one he saw the incoming video call on the screen. In the next second after receiving the call, he was glad that he hadn't lifted the glass yet because he would drop it for sure, staining the carpet underneath the coffee table.

Ziva David lay sprawled on the bed sheets on her stomach in nothing else but bright white laced lingerie nightdress, her gorgeous backside looming behind her like two snowy hillocks in the mountains, framed by her feet in the air. She was leaning on her elbows with her right little finger cheekily stuck in her mouth, the swell of her breasts exposed to the camera for his pleasure. Her hair was down in her naturally curly and wild mane and her face sultrily watched him through her decent, yet provocative makeup with dark red lipstick on her lips.

Tony expected many things to see when he had accepted the call but a seductive, erotically charged Ziva David was somewhere very low on his potential list. It definitely wasn't unwelcomed, though, so he only managed to stare at her in awe, wishing he could pull her through the screen into his arms and have his way with her right there and now as his libido commanded.

"Congratulations to your new position, handsome." She greeted him, her voice low but vibrant to the point he felt the sensual chill surging through his spine.

"You... we... I..." He stammered through his constricted throat, trying to get himself under some sort of control. Just her appearance together with her voice could make him feel all mushy inside.

She giggled lively, throwing her legs into the air playfully as she changed her position to a sitting one with crossed legs under her, the laced lingerie nightdress flowing around her. The see-through material exposed the lacy panties she wore and while he kept turning his eyes towards this particular piece of clothing, he didn't omit to caress her whole being with his gaze.

"I was thinking that such a special occasion also deserves a special type of celebration. Especially since we are so far away from each other at the moment." She explained, uncertainly tugging at the edging of the nightdress. She could see he liked what he saw but it didn't mean he was about to agree with the terms of the game she prepared.

Motionlessly, he stared at the screen for a minute to absorb the fact that Ziva-freaking-David had just offered him to have a sex video call. She was bold and brazen at times but underneath all of it, she took sex very seriously. Especially after certain reckless moments in her life when she had used it as a way to dull her emotions instead of intensifying them.

"These are exactly the moments I'm asking myself – what good I've ever done in my life to deserve you?" He asked a rhetorical question with an undying adoration in his voice.

She sent him a shy smile in return, her cheeks flushing as she realized that in other words, he'd just said 'yes' to the game she had suggested. Looking at him heatedly, she licked her upper and bottom lips thoroughly as if she wanted to whet his appetite for what was about to come. And it did work, he stared at the tip of her tongue with utter fascination, wishing for it to be somewhere on his skin.

"So, you want to play a game, huh?" He questioned her with a smile, finally getting her earlier text.

She nodded lightly and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "If you are up to it... We have a plenty of time." She assured him with a sexy wink. "I have rented this hotel room for the night and Terri is taking care of Tali so there should not be any disruptions."

With interest, he willed his eyes to notice her surroundings, curious about the hotel room he was unfamiliar with. The dimmed lights and a couple of lit candles around her created just the right atmosphere in the middle of the night in Haifa and the soft tones of jazz music, accented by the distinct sound of saxophone he loved so much, sent sensual waves down his spine in anticipation.

"The game is on." He replied without a second thought, his eyes never leaving hers as he pushed a couple of buttons to use the TV screen for this video call.

She was so excited that she clapped her hands briefly and sighed in content. It was a little bit unfamiliar area for her but the mysterious touch of the whole thing made her feel enthusiastic. "Okay, so... do me a favour, my little hairy butt." She commanded him in a low, sultry tone. "Go into the office, approach the desk and open the third drawer from the top. There, you will find a dark red envelope. Bring it back here."

He absolutely loved the way she was talking to him at the moment because she carefully chose her words and let them out in a slow, sensual fashion that left him in a trance for a while before he realized the meaning behind her orders. Hurrying to carry them out, he was back with the red envelope sooner than she could blink, waiting eagerly for her command to open it.

"Open the envelope," she told him and watched as he pulled out a couple of paper pieces, "but do not read what is written on the cards."

He did as she told him so, putting the envelope aside. "Shuffle them." She ordered him and did so with her own set of cards she had with her in Haifa.

"Now, the rules are simple. You will take the top card from the deck, read what is written on it and ask the question to me." She explained, throwing her head back in order to get her hair out of her face. "Then, you will tell me what you want me to do while I answer the question."

He nodded and chuckled to himself, finding the whole game very amusing and entertaining already. "Ladies first." He gave her the opportunity to start, highly curious what direction she intended to take it.

"Okay..." She took a deep breath and put her fingers around the first card on the top of her deck. Turning it around, she laughed as she read what was written there. "My, this one is really for you."

"Go ahead." He lifted the glass of one and gestured a toast towards her.

She looked up at him under the darkness of her lashes, held his gaze for a moment and then innocently lowered them. "If you were to create an original sex move, what would you call it?" She asked him, unable to hide her amusement as she looked back at him, sizing him up and down.

He chuckled in response and gestured with his hand that all he waited for was her command what she wanted him to do as he replied to this question. "Slowly undo your tie, then the buttons but keep the shirt on slightly opened." She requested, her eyes shining with anticipation.

Tony leaned his back against the backrest of the couch and started to work on the knot of his tie, contemplating his answer. It captivated him that she closely observed every single movement of his fingers as if he was unwrapping a box of chocolates. "I know it would surprise many people...," he began as he undid the tie and left both ends to loosely hang down his shoulders, "but I've never really thought about it."

"So let's hear the ideas." She invited him with a lick of her lips he found incredibly sexy.

He took the first button of his shirt. "DiNozzo's Treat, perhaps? Or Tony's Masterful Gimmick?" He suggested and laughed together with her as he undid the first two buttons. "I think I like DiNozzo Magic more. Or is better Tony's Flair? How about... Endowment of Anthony or Prowess of DiNozzo?"

She couldn't stop laughing, loving his ridiculous ideas as she kept watching him undoing the rest of the buttons, eventually opening his shirt slightly so she could see a little part of his skin she was dying to touch. If she was there with him, she would just simply straddle his hips and slip her hand beneath the shirt while sucking his life from him with a mighty kiss.

"Judging by the divine sound of your laughter, I suppose you're satisfied with my answer?" He asked her curiously as he stretched his muscles to uncover more of his skin.

She nodded in affirmative. "Completely. Now, it's your turn." She rubbed her hands together and smiled encouragingly at him.

He took the first card from his deck and turned it around. "Hm, this is going to be interesting..." He remarked as he was reading the words on the card and then he focused his eyes on her. "So, Miss David, describe my in-bed personality in three words. And in the meantime, lie back on your stomach as you were before and play with your hair."

It was fair, considering that he was way more clothed than she was and the purpose of this game wasn't to get the other one naked as soon as possible. No, the pure objective was to get to know each other in a way they hadn't before, to give voice to the previously silent thoughts and become comfortable with them, to boost their sexual life while being away from each other.

She did as he requested, slowly uncrossing her legs and positioning herself into a squat. Then she dropped on all four and stretched like a cat to show him her body covered in the white fabric before landing on her stomach in the exactly same position as she had been when the video call began, exposing her backside a little bit more, though. Bending her legs in the knees, she lifted her feet in the air, crossed them and swished them.

"So... Your in-bed personality is definitely very attentive." She began with a lustful sigh as she adjusted her position and laid down her head on the bed sheets so she could get better access to her hair. "You really do make sure that the woman who is with you feels properly taken care of, I would say worshiped even."

He smiled at both her answer that pleased him and the secret threat in the tone of her voice that warned him that 'the woman who is with you' should be only her and no one else. Playing with one of the tie's ends, he watched as she raked the individual sections of her thick, gorgeous and curly hair right in front of the camera, imagining the feel of the luscious locks on his skin vividly.

"Then definitely passionate," she purred as she weaved her fingers through her locks, making small ringlets, "you are not afraid to lose your inhibitions completely and give in to the whole thing."

She threw a section of her hair across her voice and blew at them lightly so he could watch her eyes as she contemplated her next words. "And... damn, it is so hard to cover in just three words." She cursed with a sigh and heard him chuckle. "I would say... gentle. Like, you can be both roughly and softly gentle. It is a perfect mix of what I want and need."

He actually blushed, his cheeks turning into a bright shade of red. He had been complimented many times but her words had always kind of a different impact on him and this moment was no exception. "Well, I certainly hope that's not going to ever change." He remarked, feeling a sort of drunk from all the warmth inside his head.

Tossing her hair back so she could smile at him, she leaned against her elbows again and reached for another card. "What were you thinking when you first saw me naked?" She asked the question written on the card, her memory flooded in an instant with images of their first love-making session in Prague about year ago. "And when we are at being naked – pants off, DiNozzo."

Graceful, broody frown appeared on his face as he played their mutual history in his head briefly while mechanically working on the clasp of his belt. "Hm... When did I see you first naked?" He contemplated aloud, chewing on his bottom lip. "The pool, the bikini..."

"The bikini does not count, I was _not_ naked!" She interrupted him curtly, her eyes narrowing at him as he stood up and shook his pants down before bending to pull them over his ankles.

He laughed in satisfaction because it was the reaction he had wanted to provoke. "Well, it's not like I needed much imagination to complete the image..." He objected with a self-satisfied smirk as he flopped down on the couch, dressed only in his underwear and opened shirt, meeting her fuming gaze.

"But on a serious note..." He raised his forefinger to shush her opening mouth. "Appreciation was the prevalent thought in my mind when I first saw you naked. And not just when it came to your beautiful body, it was the gratitude for not getting everything of you at once but having the chance to explore you, piece by piece, to familiarize you by touching the genuine skin that was always behind all the clothes."

Whatever scolding words she had intended to say to make him finally forget her body in the bikini he had infamously eternalized by certain set of photos, she swallowed them forever, hanging on his lovely ones. He had an incredible talent to say the right things on the right time, as well as saying wrong things on the wrong time but the first option was superior as of late.

"What I was thinking was _I'm damn glad I didn't rush this and took my time because it would be too much to take all at once_." He continued and she laughed in response, modestly lowering her eyes. "And even now, I feel like I don't know all of you. Every love-making since the first one is like a new conquest, new piece I thought I knew long ago but suddenly, it's all new to me. So, yeah... Every time feels like the first time in a way."

Her lips trembled with emotion, vibrating with the urge to kiss him all over. "That is the sweetest response I could ever think of." She whispered heatedly, her heart brimming over with love for the man who seemed to be so close and yet so far.

He blew her a kiss, a gesture he had barely used before their regular video calls since she had been in Israel, but one he fell in love instantly. Giving her a moment, he reached for the next card on the top of his deck and once she nodded at him, he read it. "What a nice follow-up... By the way, undo the knot on the white thingy you're wearing – if you could go back and change anything about the first time we had sex, what would it be and why?" He asked, having the notion what the answer would be and he didn't have to guess why.

Sticking a finger inside her mouth, she tossed her hair out of the way so she could reach the knot on her neck. "That is hard to say, I have never regretted a single detail from our first time." She contemplated, using just one of her fingers to undo the knot, letting the strings fall on her back. "Even the angst is something I would not leave out because it makes us who we are and it brought an unforgettable emotional charge in it."

He would agree with her vocally if he wasn't too busy watching as she slowly loosened both straps of the night dress from her shoulders, dropping them on the sheets. The swell of her breasts was now exceedingly bare and easier to look at and he took chance of every single second to do exactly so. She even curved her chest more so she would expose her breasts to him just the way he liked it.

"So I guess just the part of you cheating on someone else with me is something I could get by. To save us the hindrance of technically not being free of commitments." She added as she adjusted her hair back to frame her face.

"Agreed." He rasped as he stared at her intently to notice every single squirm she might do to unveil a little bit more of her skin.

Throwing a teasing wink on him, she reached for another card and giggled. "Now, that is something I think we both can participate in." She wriggled delightfully in excitement. "Take a moment from our lives before we got together – a real event – and transform it into a sexual fantasy, an alternate what-if scenario."

In that moment, his throat went dry for a couple of seconds because there were too many fantasies on his mind, too many moments from their life he wished to alternate to make them end up dirty, making love to her endlessly and confessing his feelings to her, as well as getting his feelings reciprocated. He had fantasized about her more than it had been healthy and more than he had ever been able to admit to anyone.

He knew some people would find it highly disturbing but it kept the flame inside his heart burning for many years, his desire omnipresent and relentless. And he could always discern at what point the fantasies should stop, the sad reality dawning on him like a ton of bricks. And whenever he had tried to suppress this otherwise pleasant activity, knowing it had been getting too dangerous, he had always returned back to them.

Taking a sip from his glass of wine, he played with the red liquid inside his mouth, mulling over the moment he would like to choose. It needed to be something vivid, something he could narrate without a pause or contemplation. There were various flashes in his mind of them making out at various places such as exploiting their conversations in restrooms, degrading the sanctity of Gibbs' desk or giving a new purpose to a company car during a stake-out.

"It does not have to be something earth-shattering." She remarked, watching him to nibble his bottom lip contemplatively. "Just choose one, whatever it is."

He looked at her and just by the look into her eyes, he knew what to go for. "Okay, but given the circumstances back then, it's actually quite inappropriate."

Rolling her eyes for the dramatic effect, she sighed. "It does not matter, this is just between us. It is a what-if scenario, Tony, a moment that actually never happened and would never happen because the circumstances you spoke of were not good enough for it to happen so..." She explained with a shrug of her shoulders. "Just let your fantasies unwind, baby."

He cleared his throat in response, setting the glass of wine down and making himself comfortable on the couch. His hands went behind his head to prod it and induce somewhat dreamy posture he always assumed whenever he fantasized about something. "So, let's return a short time back, to the unfortunate event of a bombing at Navy Yard, committed by a man called Harper Dearing." He began in a smooth tone she immediately fell in love with.

"By the series of some odd decisions I have a little recollection of, you and I are stuck in the elevator, a small, quite tiny steel box and we have no chance of getting out. We have tried to escape, of course, but despite our best efforts, we couldn't make it. Instead, the elevator slipped down a couple of inches, leaving us both quite shaken and worried for our safety, so we rather dropped any other attempts to get out and let the rescuers to free us."

Ziva's eyes started to shine brightly as she listened to his sensual voice. She no longer kept herself on her elbows and sprawled on the bed in front of the camera on her side, her arms strategically obscuring Tony's view on her naked chest. There was a pause as he watched her changing the position on the screen, delighting in every second he could caress her figure with his gaze.

"But unlike some other people, we are fine, just stuck in one place and we aren't missing anything so after some further conversation with the rescuers, we know that they won't get us out anytime soon. It is our idea to let them to take care of the important matters first and so we sit down on the ground next to each other, prepared to wait as long as it's needed.

At first, we just talk, chatting like two old friends we are about everything and nothing. But the more we talk, the more we actually fall into silence afterwards, the atmosphere around us changing rapidly, thickening. The thing is that our topics are light at first but growing more serious with time and we often touch upon certain questions in our lives that imminently affect our relationship as a whole and we're not sure if we want to dive that deep.

And then we're more quiet than talkative and in a way, it suffocates us, the tension rising dangerously. So many things left unsaid between us as we both lose ourselves in our own thoughts, rather than saying them aloud. Awkwardness follows awkwardness. The time passes slowly, very slowly and while only seconds have passed, it feels like minutes, hours even.

Sweat graces our temples as the steel box we are stuck in seems to soak in our natural body heat, multiplies its intensity and radiate it back at us. Soon enough we are more than aware of our bodies which happens every time when it's too warm, too hot. At one point, I stare at you in fascination, following the trail of one the sweat drops from your forehead, across your face, down your neck and right into your cleavage.

And it sets me off because I shouldn't be feeling the way I do but in such enclosed space I just can't stop think about all the ways I could ravish you and it's getting worse and worse as I try to suppress the images in my head. I get up and start pacing, complaining loudly how hot it gets in here, opening the first two buttons on my shirt to get some air behind it.

You say nothing, closing your eyes and massaging your temples but the curses I release out of my mouth forces you to say something. I only laugh sardonically at your command to calm down and sit because I can't, just sitting near you is delightfully painful and I know I would do something I shouldn't and since I have no chance to get away from you, I hopelessly bang on the elevator's door, desperately wishing to get out."

Taking a moment to recollect his thoughts, he fell silent for a minute. For the first time since he had started to narrate his fantasy, he looked at her and smiled at the eager look in her eyes as she ran her finger over her lips. She was hooked, he could tell and she loved it. And if he was supposed to be honest, he enjoyed himself quite as much. Reaching his hand to the screen, he implied a caress she leaned in perfectly and both sighed.

"Go on." She urged him breathlessly, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"You repeat your command, annoyed by the ceaseless banging but I have enough. I yell at everyone and no one at the same time that I am going fucking insane from being stuck in that damn elevator and I need to get out. From your point of view, I am probably having a panic attack or something because you stand up and lay a soothing land on my shoulder, trying to help me out.

But your touch burns even more than the air around me, more than sensual images in my head and when I swat your hand away, you don't understand a single thing. Your hurt even deepens when I accuse you of being the reason for my misery because it was you who dragged us into the elevator – and that goes against the safety regulations as I don't omit to point out that fact – and if you didn't, this mess would never happen.

Your reaction is adequate, putting a cold distance between us but it doesn't help me at all because in the next second, _you_ are yelling at _me_ that the only thing you wanted was to save my ass and you guess you were just supposed to want me dead. And then we just stare at each other, fuming, breathing heavily as the hot blood rushes through our veins, making us all kinds of irrational.

And then, it all dawns on me as look into your eyes and see the hurt, the fear you feel if anything happened to me. I recall that I sent you away, that I told you to go while I wanted to stay and once again search the floor just in case anyone was still there but you told me that you weren't going anywhere without me, forcing me to leave and I realize that you indeed probably saved my life.

It pulls me back to all those times I have almost lost you, swearing to myself every single time that I won't allow that ever again and suddenly, I understand how you feel because I do share the same amount of care with you. And it's overwhelming because while the desire for you still keeps burning within me, it starts to blend with far deeper feelings in my heart and maybe, I don't wish to get out of the elevator so much, after all.

I take a step towards you because I need to apologize for hurting you with my outburst, because I don't want you think I don't enjoy your company although your closeness is making me wild. And you see it in my eyes, you know that I resolved to do more than just say how sorry I was for my hysterical fit and while your instinct would usually command you to assume a defensive stance or to step back, you do nothing like that.

Instead, you watch me to take another step towards you until we are chest-to-chest. It should be considered as calculating from you because you still refuse to send me any signal back, neither positive nor negative. You just blankly stare at me, suppressing any emotion so you wouldn't reveal what you think. There's just some hint of a challenge that might still sprout from the yelling contest."

Ziva didn't know whether to hold her breath or sped it up but for sure, she couldn't breathe evenly. It was crazy to think how well Tony could read her even back then because he wasn't wrong about her feelings, fantasy or not. She had been in love with him, albeit incapable of confessing those feelings to him just yet. This whole what-if story was actually close to what really could have happened if circumstances of their rescue had been slightly different.

"Lifting my hand slowly, I gently palm your face and my touch is all that it takes to break the carefully built shield of indifference of yours. You release a breath you were holding for far too long, your bottom lip trembling, your chin twitching a little as you lean in my touch and you close your eyes for a moment, lifting them back up to look at me, to see what my reaction to your relaxation will be.

There's a plea shining from your gaze that I don't quite comprehend and so I mutter 'I'm sorry' to apologize for whatever mess I have caused and still might cause with what I am about to do. I'd like to inch my face towards you and observe your response but I'm not taking any chances anymore so I just bend down to you, slightly pushing your chin up and then, I am kissing you as softly and passionately I can.

A surprising smile runs over my lips as you respond heatedly, not at all repulsed by the kiss I finally decided to give you. My hands are in your hair while you put one of yours around my waist and the other one travels between the top of my head and the back of my neck. You take over the pace as our lips move together fast, then slow and then fast again as if you wanted to enjoy as much as you can before our senses kick back in and we will stop before it's too late.

But I don't intend for it to happen, rational senses could go to hell and stay there as long as they wanted to, because I waited for far too long to release all this pent-up passion and it seems you were equally frustrated. We are a mere step from the elevator's wall so it's just natural I back you to it, seeking the right and appropriate support for taking things beyond our imagination.

And you cooperate nicely, willingly taking those steps backwards, pressing me closer to you in an immediate urge to have a physical contact. Before your back hits the wall as I push you against it, you don't hesitate to jump into my ready arms, your thighs that were earlier around my head and neck as we tried to get out of the elevator, suddenly delightfully clenching my waist.

You gasp as if you were in pain and our lips are separated regretfully because you need to take a little break. That's when I realize that the elevator is equipped with handgrips in the middle that also provide lighting and you are pinned to one of them. I suspect that they were installed in order to prevent people from having sex in the elevator but to hell with it, we are apparently doing so anyway.

I look up at you with concern; ready to put you back down but you brush it off and instead, you stretch your body, your muscles as you adjust your position in my arms with my help, eventually settling comfortably against the wall with the handgrip filling the gap between the elevator and your lower back. The movements are more than erotic, they are _real_ and with each rub of our bodies, there's an electrical shock riddling through us."

It was a waterfall of words and Tony had to pause for a moment to both take a moment to recuperate and keep the suspension going. This sex video call was one of the most intense moments in his sexual life and it was only thanks to Ziva who tuned in his fantasy and recreated some of the actions he described – the gazes, the reactions, the gasps, some of the movements.

While his fantasies could be sometimes way too vivid, thanks to her the what-if scenario was something more and he had no intention to lie about liking it. He could see that her hand started to travel down her body more and more often, slipping behind the lacy panties to test the wetness in between her legs she could feel forming from the warmth inside her belly.

He found it incredibly sexy how she fought the shyness and then realizing that she should actually loosen up and masturbate freely, especially if his narration was _that_ good to make her imagine the whole fantasy inside her mind to the point of feeling all giddy. And such little actions of hers prodded him further to come up with things for the fantasy, never being stuck due to inability to find the right words.

"You look at me and smile at me in the way I always wished for you to do so, that little, greedy and mischievous smile. Our resumed kiss is more fervent and urgent than the one before as if our mutual agreement about what is about to happen made the stakes somewhat higher, yet attainable. Hands are everywhere and in some moments, I don't know which are mine and which are yours.

Eventually, I settle on getting behind the black top you wear to feel your scorching skin beneath my fingers, to touch gently your perfect breast and of course, on supporting you against the wall. You struggle with my shirt buttons, giving up altogether when you realize that it had no point without pulling it out of my pants which is coincidentally the same location of the object of your desire.

So you stick your nimble hands between our bodies and manage to undo my belt and unzip my pants, letting out a gasp a victory when they fall down around my ankles. You enjoy your success very much by palming my manhood, making me jerk so much that I'm not even sorry for letting go of you. In the next second, though, I realize my mistake and pin you to the wall with my body, trapping your hand between us and gripping your waist to hold you in position with mine.

I curse, loudly, the word 'fuck' bolting out of my mouth without a second thought. I'm too horny, too hard to let your touch go unnoticed and still I'm surprised with the intensity of the feeling. At that moment I know for sure that going back is impossible because the contact _was_ there and I am never going to forget about it as long as I live and have a functional brain.

Your response is to laugh, adding a cheeky 'yeah, me' to my 'fuck' and what more encouragement does a man need? I don't lose my time anymore, I want you and you want me and it's a damn basic biological need, so please God, let me just have it. My hands are on your trousers in an instant and you pull out your trapped hand to help me out and thanks to some acrobatic skills we don't know we posses, we accomplish getting your trousers down, too.

Your panties go down with them and then we are in the same position as before as I slip my hands down, pulling down my underwear to free my throbbing erection, feeling your heat all around me. Your thighs around my waist clench with want because you know that we are so close to overstep all boundaries and that thought itself sounds absolutely good that you must have it.

But I want to secure you first, to make sure that I won't harm you in any way and you enjoy having the previous support of my hands since my palms are spread over the halves of your buttocks. And then, before you can collect yourself, I am in you, within you, without warning and courtesy but welcomed and desired, at least that's what your loud moan expresses for sure.

The moan is too loud for common standards but I barely pay any attention, feeling too overwhelmed myself, encouraging your moans with my groans. Your tight wetness feels great and if I ever imagined having sex with you, I can tell that my fantasies never even scratched the surface of what the real, genuine thing is. Judging by the way your chest heaves up and down in order to catch the breath, rolling your eyes into the back of your head, you feel the same.

And then you rob me of my breath as you begin to move, eager to deepen the pleasure and I meet with you, thrusting into you and filling you in. We alternate the necessary breathing with gentle sucking, greedy nipping and hungry kissing, losing ourselves in each other because fuck everything, this is _too_ good and who cares about any rescue, reasonable conversations about our relationship or the fact that the handgrip is about to create a bleeding scratch on your lower back?

We are getting close to our mutual release, you beg for more and you want it harder and there aren't any things in the world I would deny you at the very moment, so I give it to you obediently. You yelp, you moan, you almost scream and I urgently silence you with my kisses, the barely noticeable trace of reason within my head telling me that we shouldn't be that loud if we don't want anyone to interrupt us.

And the feeling of you screaming and moaning in pleasure that I induced into my mouth as you suddenly come is so satisfying that I reach my peak the very second after you. It's a bliss that can't be described but that I want to experience all over again, never passing up a chance for repetition. Flying high and falling down, we just hold onto each other, riding our orgasms simultaneously while kissing each other like crazy."

It was no surprise to him to see that Ziva had just brought herself an orgasm similar to the one from his fantasy after losing all inhibitions, moaning in front of the little camera and he desperately wanted her to be in his arms but knew it was impossible. But at least it had given him a new point of view on his fiancée because he hadn't had much of a chance to see her unabashedly satisfy her sexual needs in front of him but by herself.

He would have joined her but this was _his_ story for _her gratification_ and so he let her rub her clit and touch herself while envisioning the fantasy he was telling her in her head, patiently waiting for his turn, no matter how hard he was actually getting. As he had once pointed out, self-control was a matter of life and death when one was around Ziva David. He rather focused on bringing the fantasy to its end.

"Our lips pull apart when we're done with absorbing all the waves of pleasure and we just breathe together, the flames going out. You ask me jokingly if you are still wrong for going against safety regulations and dragging me into the elevator to which I reply with an amused chuckle, telling you that you definitely aren't because it was the best decision you could make.

We laugh together but after such a physical strain, I need to get some relief so I ask you if you can stand and with yours 'I'll try', I put you back down on the ground. You need to grasp the handgrip that kept digging into your back but you're fine and you put your clothes back on, just like me. Turning to each other, I check on your appearance and you start doing my shirt up and then our looks meet and there is so much we want to say.

But words are left unspoken as suddenly, the rescuers are there and we will be out of the elevator in the matter of a few minutes. A silent understanding passes between us as we share one last deep and passionate kiss before the elevator opens and we step together out into the new, unexpected future that will be entirely different than the one before we got stuck in that steel tiny box."

Her chest heaving as the impact of the act of self-pleasure wore off, she turned from her side to her back, throwing one of her arms across her face. Biting her lip, she envisioned the last section, the very end, of his beautiful and saucy fantasy and breathed out deeply. "Damn, you are _good._ " She put the emphasis on the last word to stress how much she appreciated every single part of him.

Tony smiled, nonchalantly sipping his wine. "I might have practiced it once... or twice." He admitted somewhat unsurely as he realized that she could get mad. She didn't like to declare it often or aloud but she was a possessive woman and while he was allowed to appreciate another woman's beauty, there were certain boundaries she didn't let him to pass by.

But instead, she turned her head slightly and winked at him, pursing her lips to blow a kiss in his direction. It was a healthy acknowledgement of being aware of each other's past and while they didn't need to talk about their respective partners, the experiences from those encounters were certainly valuable and should be used in their relationship to enrich and strengthen it.

"So, your turn, huh?" She uttered lusciously and stretched her body gracefully. He didn't say anything in response and just kept waiting patiently for her to sift through all the fantasies she had ever had and choose the one she sensed would be good enough.

And just like him, she had to give it some thought but not for the lack of fantasies but contrarily, for its abundance. The possibilities were endless because there was such an incredulous amount of moments she wished to repaint into a more blissful colour, some of them multiple times and in various ways. And it wasn't always about the sexual aspect. Often those secret fantasies she'd had were significantly romantic.

Since the one he had chosen meant a shift in their relationship as they had become more intimate and comfortable with each other – _a post-elevator us_ as he had once called it – she sought for a repayment of sorts and one thing kept returning to her in her mind. She now understood his 'inappropriate' objection because the fantasy she was about to go for completely erased the formation of a genuine bond between them during the real events.

But it would be hypocritical of both of her and him to claim that neither of them allowed their fantasies to drift in that specific direction. It was suggesting itself and just because the real events had taken a different course, it didn't mean she wanted to diminish, let alone ridicule the past that had actually happened. She only hoped that he would see it the same way and unwind as she had advised him before because he was sometimes too serious about certain things.

"So..." She took a deep breath and let her exhalation to last a little bit longer than usual, working up some backup plans in the back of her head. "Paris."

Tony chuckled in response and inhaled with a sigh. "Ah, the inexhaustible universe of infinite possibilities." He commented on her choice and smiled into the camera as she sniggered at his remark. "My ears are yours."

"It is getting dark but we keep walking through the streets of Paris, using the public transport for the longer distances because you are surprisingly interested in sightseeing. And since you know I have been to Paris, you let me to drag you to see all the most famous and less famous points of interest. We do not talk much, just maintaining the comfortable silence with words of observation and awe.

It is nearly night-time when we arrive on one of our last destinations – _Le Pont Alexandre III_ nearby _Champs-Élysées_ – you insist on seeing because of one brief scene from _A View to a Kill*_ and I have no reason to object because I love the bridge and the view it provides on the whole Paris with Eiffel Tower in a short distance. You take hundreds of photos from various angles while I just stand motionlessly and enjoy the view.

When you are finally done, you stand beside me and although I can feel your gaze on me, I do not turn my eyes towards you because I know what I would see in yours. I always see it whenever you choose to wordlessly stare at me. But you initiate a conversation I cannot ignore by asking me where my mind wanders, undoubtedly to find out why my face holds such a dreamy expression.

And I reply to you, giving you the insight into my inner thoughts about how these cities always have some special point where you can simply stand and do nothing but enjoy the fascinating view that is offered to you, enchanted by the beauty. Your blunt and plain comment 'You're right' would be a relief and a perfect end of a conversation I do not wish to have but you are not looking at the view, you are looking at _me_.

And I cannot hold out any longer, I _have to_ look into your eyes and glimpse at the emotional storm in your face and while it warms me, it frightens me in the same time. Smiling at you is something I cannot resist, though, but then I rather turn my head back to the Parisian fairytale view and remark how for me, personally, those special points are always connected in one way or the other to water."

Tony smiled and his eyes glazed with a dreamy fog as he returned back in his memories to the capital of France and the time they had spend there. For now, her narration didn't differ much from the actual events that had happened and while he knew that they would soon set out in a divergent direction, he allowed himself to reminiscence a little and let the genuine past warm him.

Nevertheless, he was insanely curious about the continuation of her fantasy because – just like his – hers would definitely mirror her thoughts and feelings from back then. It was very insightful to realize how close they had been to crossing the line between friendship and love affair in certain points of their lives and how they both had felt about it. And so he cocked up his ears and lost himself in her continuation.

"I close my eyes afterwards, take a deep breath to inhale the enjoyable smell of water, the typical scent of Paris and let the familiar wave of peace to wash over me, hoping it will linger. After all, it is not that long ago when I thought that standing on a bridge over Seine was a wishful thinking that would never happen again. And I let the feeling to penetrate me, to fill me up and help me to find the balance I seek for so long.

You appear to lift your camera to take another shot of whatever caught your attention but then I hear you saying that maybe, you should finally take a shot of something breathing and warm, unlike the cold and static buildings, and a person who is absolutely unique to you is the best option. It dawns on me that you want to take a photo of me and as I open my eyes and look at you, I see I am not mistaken.

I stop you by putting a hand over the lens of the camera, whispering a timid 'don't' and you put the camera down to satisfy my request. However, you question my motivation, defending your intention by telling me how serene and in peace I was and that such moments are worth to capture so we could cherish them infinitely. After all, it is rare when we allow ourselves to be this relaxed.

You are right and so I smile at you to appreciate the truth you said. In an instant, you lift the camera again and take a quick shot. Then you are by my side, showing me the result. And as our heads clings against each other, looking at the photo of me, I feel you stiffen because there is something _more_ in my look than what you originally briefly saw through the lens.

As much as you try not to see it, you know that I did not pose or conjured up this specific smile just for the sake of the photo. I was looking straight at _you_ , ignoring anything else but _you_ and you suddenly do not know what to think and whether any action is required. You stammer some words that have no meaning for me because in the same time, you stick a finger under my chin and lift it up and there is this longing look between us again."

They locked their eyes for that moment through the cameras and their respective screens to intensify the feeling of the fanciful segment they wanted to be concretely real. It felt so natural and easy to recreate a particular scene from the narration and it provided a lot because thanks to it, the sultry tension between them increased both in their visions and in the real time.

"Before I know it, your lips are hungrily pressing on mine and I barely have any space to absorb the amazing explosion of joy within my chest. The kiss is chaste, short and insufficient but it is still sweet as anything I ever denied myself and eventually succumbed to. I whimper and weakly raise my hand towards your head to deepen the kiss but you do not give me a chance.

Maybe you take it as a sign of my disapproval and quickly retreat, gasping in shock. Your hand covers your mouth apologetically and you lower your head in shame, mumbling about how you should not have done that. It takes me a couple of good seconds to gain your attention to assure you that whatever you did was with my consent and to my pleasure. It was okay and we will be okay, no matter what.

But as we head back towards the hotel we both know that it is not okay at all. Not because the kiss was not agreeable, sloppy or unwanted but because it left us with lust for more, far more than we have ever dared to go. And so it is all awkward and tense between us since we realize that we share a room and there is no way to escape the unbearable need to lose all self-control.

And it gets worse because the initially very spacious room, big enough for both of us is suddenly incredibly tiny and small. We constantly bump into each other even when we try to stand as far as possible from one another but the secret, yet poorly hidden urge to be close to get something mildly resembling to a skin-on-skin contact overwhelming us. Until we get to a point when we stand face to face, inches apart, our defences crumbling.

It is equally easy to let go as to play the game of wills. Yet, you find a solution to take the easy way out – it may not end our growing problem but it may cool our desires for the night – and that is the goal you strive for by disappearing into the bathroom. The door is finally some sort of a concrete wall that separates us since we have returned to the hotel and it is both relieving and sad.

I sink on the king-size bed in resignation and instead of focusing on regaining my self-control, I rather analyze my disappointment over your lack of determination. It is stupid but when it comes to you, I am unable to be as straightforward as I wish to be. I can be all flirt and jokes but when the real feelings get involved, I am the first one to look for an escape route and sadly, it looks as if you have gotten used to it."

There was a pause on her side of the screen because her thoughts headed off way too far in Freudian direction and she needed a moment to recollect which way she initially wanted to go. He didn't mind it because it gave him a personal time to mull over what she had said. Her fantasy was a true mirror of their past selves and this little segment of the fantasy was no exception.

He couldn't help but wonder how many times they had ended up their dance around each other on the same spot and he had chosen to rather take a step back because he had really been used to her fleeing so often... How many times she had actually felt disappointed in not being respectfully chased by him... It was just a curious thought, though, that didn't matter much as she was finally and forever his. And he had no intention to ever change that.

"Then I hear the sound of running water from behind the bathroom door and just the sheer image of you standing under the flow of hot water in the shower does things to me. Things I crave to happen, things I wish were simpler to commit without constantly thinking about those damn consequences... And I feel incredibly tired from the endless fighting with myself.

The realization is like a fresh air in my lungs, clearing my head momentarily to show me the beauty of the blue sky that is usually obscured by grey clouds. And I want to reach it, to touch it, to fly up there and bask in the sunlight and I know what needs to be done in order to achieve that. Before I start second-guessing my decision, I quickly strip myself off and put on a nothing but a white bathrobe.

My actions are both exciting and strangely fearless, maybe because my head feels too light and too eager to taste the forbidden fruit. All rationality is suppressed as I slip quietly in the steamy bathroom because it is way too late for me to go back, refusing to feel the humiliation I would be exposed to if I chose to withdraw. Not from you, not from anyone else but I am my worst enemy and I would demean myself without limits.

Despite the fog of desire veiling my eyesight and the steam caused by the hot water, I spot you under the current in the shower stall with glass wall. You have not noticed me, too occupied with letting the water washing over you, hitting your muscles to ease them in order to relax and get the tension out of your system. Your eyes are closed as you keep lifting your head up so the water could drip down your hair and face.

I am mesmerized and in the same time frightened by the magical scene in front of me, battling between the urge to join you and the fear that commands me to run away while I still can. Unbeknown to me, this goes on for long minutes and then, my indecision seals my fate when you stop the water and reach your hand up to snatch the towel that hangs over the shower stall.

There is something strangely erotic on watching you rubbing your body dry and it freezes me to the ground but chill is the last sensation I definitely feel at the moment. Then, you wrap the towel around the lower part of your body, rake your hair with a sigh and open the door of the shower stall. And that is when you finally see me standing on the other side of the bathroom, staring at you with wide eyes.

Your reaction is to stiffen, an obviously confused expression on your face. There are thousands of explanations in your head as to why I am standing in the bathroom with you, dressed only in my bathrobe but you do not allow them to sink in. Rather, you seek the answer within me, not only with your quizzical gaze, but you also stammer my name out in puzzlement.

And because you have always had a special way of saying my name, it floods me with warmth and desire of such intensity I rarely feel. My steps lead me towards you as if you were pulling me to you with the help of some invisible rope and when I stand in front of you, I unabashedly slip the bathrobe off my shoulders and untie the tight knot. The cotton fabric pools at my feet and my stark nudity is revealed."

Tony in the real life howled just at the mere vision of the whole fantasy in his mind and for the hundredth time that evening, he cursed the responsibility they had let ruling over their relationship for so many years. He couldn't ever describe how much he desired this particular fantasy to actually happen because the beauty of her being so decisive and straightforward in getting him was something that was sending him over the edge.

"You are silent and stunned, unable to utter another word but I can see the raging conflict in your face as you struggle against your want and force your eyes to stop lowering down. It is almost comical so I take advantage of your little vulnerability and kind of save you from the torment by standing on my tiptoes and kissing you without further ado.

As I am finally in control and you are in my mercy, I immediately sneak my arms around you to touch your still hot skin, wiping away a few drops that escaped the attention of your towel. You succumb to the kiss faster than I initially thought, your tongue teasing my lips and I moan in appreciation as you masterfully and gently plunge it inside my mouth, doing wonders inside I never thought were possible.

But I still do not feel your arms around me, so I open my eyes in one moment and change the angle of the kiss to see that your hands are gripping the sides of the shower stall, your knuckles white with the effort. And I know I have to do something because I _need_ you to lose control as I have lost mine because only like that, we can proceed further and stop being tied by our defence mechanisms.

Stealthily, my hands approach the rim of your towel while pretending to sate their hunger for touch but you can read me too well at times and you guess my intentions this time as well. You grasp me around my wrists and prevent my hands from making you naked, thwarting my plans and moreover, you cease the kiss, leaving me to groan in frustration and desperation.

There is an inquisitive, careful and almost pleading look in your eyes and I know that your growl 'what the hell are you doing' is directed both on my previous intention, as well as my sole presence in the bathroom. After all, you went to hide inside the bathroom for the fear that you might lose your self-control with me and now I am here, demanding the very same from you.

But I have already crossed the threshold and the effort to go back would be too exhausting so I just tell you the truth – I am only doing what I have wanted to do for a very long time and you are the only one who can help me with it. Your reaction is not as passionate as I hoped as you just stare at me with a shocked expression but my heart skips a beat when I see your eyes glisten darkly in spite of it all.

_You_ want to be _mine_ but you are not sure if I am in full possession of my faculties so you are trying to ascertain that my head is clear and not clouded with alcohol or something. If you are to have me, you want me to be fully conscious and aware of our actions. And your own worries are a factor, too, as you mutter that whatever we are doing is absolutely insane while you are stepping out of the shower stall, your grip on my wrists still very strong.

And yes, I agree – it is insane and the possibility of regret cannot be dismissed but the step back to normal is completely impossible right now, anyway. The only barrier between us is your towel because whatever kept us from touching and kissing each other, whatever kept us at bay is long gone and neither you nor I can imagine spending the night in the room together without satisfying our cravings.

You crumble, you yield and you crash your lips on mine, resuming the pace as if we have never stopped kissing, your passion delightfully overwhelming us. I am trying to free my hands to continue touching you, to run my fingers over your smooth and fresh skin but you refuse to let me go just yet. Instead, you start backing me to the wall and you do not hesitate to violently shove me against it.

My hands are around my head as you keep pressing me urgently against the wall and to your body in the same so I could feel how much you exactly want me. I encourage you by hooking one of my legs around your hips to establish a sensual rub between our bodies and you appreciate it with a beautiful groan right into my mouth that vibrates inside my head for a few more days.

Releasing one of my hands, you blindly scrabble around to find the doorknob and when you finally find it, you open the door with a powerful yank. Your hands then sneak around my waist and the leg around your hip and I take the hint by securing mine around your neck firmly. I intended to help you focus on the relocating task by ceasing the kiss but you strictly refuse to break it and keep sucking to sate your thirst.

So I do not even how but suddenly, I am no longer in the bathroom but lying on the bed with your body hovering over me. You lick your lips to memorize the taste of my lips and open your eyes to give me one of your wicked smiles. I lift my weakened hand to caress your face and you lean in the touch with a slight purr and that alone is able to make me feel as if I was in heaven.

However, it is nothing in comparison with your next actions as your lips are everywhere on my body, kissing and sucking every part of me from my neck and breasts, to my navel and my hips. I writhe beneath you, enjoying the pleasure I am experiencing as much as I can because there is still the nagging fear in my mind that you might withdraw and leave me unsatisfied forever.

All such doubts disappear in an instant when I feel your tongue brushing against my intimate parts and before I can say anything, you cheekily plunge it deeper inside and I lose any ability to form any coherent thoughts. All I can do is moan and loudly beg for more and you do not torture me with stalling as you start a tongue dance all around my heat, tasting every single drop of me.

It is heaven and more as the pleasure penetrates me, it is hell and more as I edge slowly to my release you apparently intend to drive me to with the masterful use of your tongue. And it is not only this skilful body part of yours, it is also your lips that kiss and wrap themselves up around my clit to suck and bite, leaving me trembling and tossing my head from side to side as I clench my legs around your neck, my fingers reaching into your hair to keep you in place where I love it the most.

And as if you knew when I am just a short distance from the bliss I await for so long, you stop and go back to hover over me with a self-satisfied smirk. I would love to wipe it off but since I am forced to watch as you lick the last remnants of my wetness from your lips, I just moan hungrily with a heavy breath and try to use the closeness of our bodies to rub myself all over you.

You have apparently found a new hobby in teasing me, though, so you refuse to allow such a close contact but it distracts you enough so I can tear away the stupid towel from your hips and throw it away. Now, we are both gloriously naked in front of each other, both throbbing and humming with desire for necessary release and it is a little pausing moment just between us.

Reaching my hands to you, I distract you further with another kiss and your tongue seems to feel differently now, more demanding and harsher and I love every single second of it. Then, I lift one of my legs to put it around your hip again and before you register it, I roll us over so I am the one on top right now and you are the one beneath me, completely in my mercy for once more.

While procrastination is inevitable in certain points of my life, I know that this is not it and so I lower myself on your pulsing erection without hesitation, enjoying the feel of you within me and the look in your eyes as you feel my inner walls smoothly glide against your manhood. Your feral groan right in my ear is satisfying more than anything as your arms clasp around me possessively.

And then we ride, together, as we meet our respective thrusts, filling each other in, kissing, nipping, sucking and licking. Moans follow groans, curses follow chuckles, pleas follow obedience, disobediences follow little punishments and we are wrapped in each other in one second and in the other, I stretch up high to tower over you to show you how beautiful we both are while doing _this_.

My climax comes soon enough and while I enjoy it like nothing else, I crave for more and more can be given only to me if you feel just as blissful as I am. And so we speed up, then slow down, and speed up again as if we drove through a highway with multiple speed limits due to reconstructions. It is exhausting but the sweet delight is too addicting and we decelerate less and less often, the quickening tempo extremely maddening.

After our state reaches insanity, you come, right into me, and I come again with you, holding onto you as we both scream and yell in pleasure. As we surf on the waves of our gratification, there is a hungry need to kiss and so we do, endlessly and breathlessly as we lay in each other's arms, our passion going out but imprinted in our skins for all eternity.

And that is how we spend the rest of the night in the City of Love – tangled together in the bed, under the sheet and still naked, kissing the little bruises and teeth marks we caused to each other. Not a flicker of regret appears in our eyes, not a word of objection passes between us. While the act itself lacked the proclamation of love and was more or less a proclamation of our pent-up attraction to each other, it was love-making nevertheless."

By the time she ended the narration of her fantasy, Tony reached for napkins to clean himself up after the ejaculation, his head completely dizzy due to various images running through his head right before it. Masturbation in his case was almost a supplementary service, her words alone had made him hard enough to be on the verge of orgasm like half-way through her fantasy.

She wasn't far behind him, either, her fingers doing the quick job to bring her another release shortly after his. He tried to speak up but his speech ability had left him some time ago and not even licking his lips or drinking the wine helped. One thing was quite certain, though – whenever they were forced to be apart, sex video calls were about to become a regular thing for sure.

_**The End of Chapter 42** _

* * *

* A View to a Kill – 14th movie in James Bond series and the last appearance of Roger Moore as legendary agent 007.


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Hope you are all doing alright and managing during the pandemic. We are fairly good in here, restrictions are lifting up, the numbers are rising but steadily and not so much but there is also the rising number of recovered so things are looking well.
> 
> I want to thank all of you who keep being loyal to this story, your support mean everything to me.
> 
> I want to thank Randy for his wonderful Beta services and apologize to him in the same time for the wedding bits that had to be exhausting at times to go through.
> 
> I want to thank Debbie for her beautiful reviews.
> 
> I want to thank to my surrogate sister Athina who keeps supporting me in a way no one else does.
> 
> Either way – anyone up for a wedding? I advise you to be because it's the main topic of this chapter. We could have also returned to my home city for a while. ;) Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer:  
> I do not own NCIS or its characters.

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 43** _

It had been approximately five hundred days since Tony touched the medieval stones forming the solid structure of Charles Bridge for the last time. While the feeling itself was fleeting and he loved to relive it all over again, the memory was vivid and colourful, warming his heart. After all, almost every pleasant memory of Ziva David in his mind had such an effect.

And this city – Prague – could already tell stories about their mutual past in this place. Every single step he took, his head was flooded with pieces of nice memories. It was a place where they had found each other again, reconnected, talked through their feelings, forgiven one another and decided to start over. All promises made during the fateful meeting on Christmas one and half year ago were fulfilled.

It was a perfect destination for the final seal on the imaginary sheet of paper where their relationship history was written since the first moments that had eventually led them together. No disapproval had passed between them when they started to plan their wedding because both had listed Prague on the first place while writing down a list of places where they wished to get married.

So after some dutiful research to find about the possibilities, endless email communication with several agencies, expense calculations and consent of their closest friends and family, a series of booking arrangements took place from plane tickets, hotels, venue and restaurant to honeymoon arrangements that had involved pretty much the same hustle.

In the midst of all of it, the final finishing touches were also necessary to deal with so it took long weeks and months to choose all the clothes from the wedding dress, the bridesmaids dresses to the suits for male counterparts, the floral decorations in the venue, the right music accompaniment, the photographer and videographer, the makeup artist and hairstylist, means of transportation to both the wedding and the restaurant for reception and he was sure he certainly forgot about something.

Not to mention the theatre over the legal blessings. He used to think that his paperwork was boring, mundane but necessary part of his job but after all the ordeal, he was willing to start loving it. The amount of documents and certifications to satisfy the bureaucratic requirements of all involved authorities was maddening.*1 Thankfully, Ziva kept her US passport so at least they had had to go round the same offices.

If it wasn't for their Prague-established wedding planner with Terri as a liaison officer, he was sure that him standing on the Charles Bridge and watching the Vltava river flowing below him would be just a wishful thinking. He didn't wonder anymore that some people simply eloped instead of going through such vast, stressful planning. He had held out only thanks to his love for his bride but there were moments he wished it would be all over.

Nevertheless, they made it and they were all here. Two days ago, they had landed on the Czech soil with their little baby girl and the whole wedding procession consisting of their friends and family, minus Terri and David who had taken a different route from Israel. Everything was expertly arranged so the move to all the hotels hadn't been problematic and all had gone smoothly.

They had dined together and left for bed quite soon to deal with the jetlag and exhaustion from the long flight. The next day, everyone but Tony and Ziva had gone on a stroll through the city while the engaged couple had taken care of other legal necessities arranged by the wedding planner and taken a look on the venue and restaurant to get aquatinted with the environment and negotiate the very last details.

Today was the day before the wedding, once again filled with sightseeing, relaxing and just enjoying themselves. The weather in Prague was very spring-like with low temperatures in the mornings and higher temperatures in the afternoons thanks to the sun occasionally obscured by the clouds. Rain had surprised them only on the first day, the rest of the week was supposed to be nothing but sun perfection.

It was almost ideal, too perfect but he refused to look for the stain that would ruin his content mood. Even though there was a certain line of fear inside him, an irrational concern that things might go awry based on the first-hand experience, he kept it buried with all his will. He firmly believed that the last couple of months had happened to him for a reason and the reason certainly couldn't be to give him everything he had ever wanted and then take it away.

"I knew I would find you here." The sweetest voice in the universe roused him from his contemplation, softly touching his hand as she stood next to him with the brightest smile.

He was aware that a kiss would ruin it but he couldn't help himself and bent down to taste the lips of his fiancée lovingly, thinking about symbolism since they had been standing on the same place where he had seen her for the first time that winter evening in 2015. While their reunion had commenced here, they were now just certifying its continuation, not at all some end.

Pressing her body to him, he turned his gaze back to the divine view on Prague Castle, basking in the warm sunrays. "How's Tali?" He asked with a hint of concern, although he knew that his baby girl was nothing but hungry and Ziva had gone to breastfeed her.

"Stuffed and pampered like a princess I imagine with so many uncles and aunts around her." Ziva calmed him down and leaned her head against his shoulder comfortably.

Thanks to that, she registered the slight unnerving tremor that shot through his body as he nodded in silent acknowledgment and sighed deeply. The sound itself was relaxed but she could feel that his body was stiff as if imprisoned in some eternal spasm he wished to be free of. He was also very taciturn lately but not for the lack of trying. His thoughts were apparently transferring him to some secret plain of existence that he didn't notice a chance for expressing his boyish nature.

"Okay, so what is wrong with you?" She asked him sternly but on the other hand caringly so she would hint that she didn't have any intention to back down because she cared about him so it was easier for him to spill the beans. Take the band-aid and rip it off.

He looked down at her with confusion plastered on his face. "What?" He asked in puzzlement as he wasn't aware of anything. She had already known about his fear of abandonment and did her best to lessen it so it certainly couldn't be the issue she was talking about.

"Tony, I can see that something is troubling you." She reduced her sternness and conjured up a face full of worry because he was either masterfully hiding his true feelings or whatever plagued him was rooted somewhere deep down where he wasn't fully aware of it. "And since we arrived at the airport, your unrest had tripled. So out with it."

Staring at her as if being obtuse was a norm for him for a couple of more seconds, his face then relaxed as he internally admitted that there was something that kept bugging him. Albeit invisible and of low meaning, he couldn't deny that it was a thought he had bumped in his mind quite often lately. Considering that it was too late to discuss it with her, he simply pushed it back.

"Fine... There _is_ something I hesitate to ask you but the opportunity never really offered itself." He confessed with guilty eyes, shielding himself before her reproachful gaze.

Narrowing her eyes, she scanned him quietly to detect the seriousness of that _something_. "How long have you been sitting on it?" She asked carefully with raised eyebrows.

There was even guiltier grimace on his face, his attempt to look innocent by scratching his head absolutely failing. "Well, a few months. Even before I proposed to you." He conceded with a shrug of his shoulders, knowing that it was hardly believable that he didn't say anything for over a year.

" _What_ is it?" She inquired him with a threatening poke into his chest as she closed her eyes, bracing herself to minimize the impact.

There was a loud exhale as he blew the remaining air out of his lungs to fill them in with fresh air. A play for time to sort out his thoughts and choose the right words without sounding ignorant. "So... You're a Jew." He stated neutrally as he turned to her to fully reciprocate her attention.

She blinked. _No, that wasn't it_. She blinked again but the haze around her brain that prevented her to grasp at the roots of comprehension of his statement seemed impenetrable. Expecting many things to deal with because life wasn't always sun soaked, the question about her origin and religion was still somewhere at the bottom of the imaginary list. Another blink and yet, more confusion.

"What's up with that?" She questioned with a shake of her head but it was as useless as the blink.

"Uhm... I know you're not some fanatical zealot but you practice your religion occasionally, you do have your faith." He pointed out cagily, still hovering over the main point of his thoughts. "You're Jewish, your family was Jewish and you come from Israel..."

"Yeah, yeah. So?" She interrupted him, trying to get to the bottom of it as quickly as she could because the meaning of this conversation kept escaping her and she _hated_ that.

He made a waving gesture towards the Prague Castle. "And here we are, in Prague, for our wedding ceremony that is a civil one, not a religious one." He remarked with a certain level of concern in his voice as he focused his eyes on her. "So there won't be any _ketubah*2_ or _chuppah*3_ or whatever else is part of Jewish traditional weddings. Though some glass breaking is involved if I understood that part correctly..."

"Plate. Plate breaking, not glass breaking." She corrected him easily to distinguish the Czech wedding traditions from the Jewish ones.*4 "Although I cannot deny that the plate might be made out of glass, but whatever... What is your point exactly?"

He sighed and for a moment looked into an unseen distance. "I should've asked you when we started to plan the wedding..." He mused out loud but then he turned his eyes back to her and concern filled them. "Do you mind that we're having a civil ceremony? Wouldn't you prefer to have a religious wedding according to Jewish customs?"

For a moment, she thought her heart stopped beating. Then she took a breath and its erratic, wild beating brought her back to the present as she stared at him with wide eyes. The way he sometimes cared about people he loved... It was setting her heart ablaze with deeper and profound love she didn't think was ever possible. There were moments she thought she couldn't love him more but then he did something that made her to revise that.

And this case was no exception. It dawned on her as another sack full of heavy bricks and she had to strain her muscles enormously to keep herself standing. For all those months, this man was plagued by a simple, light guilt because all he wanted was to create a perfect wedding day for her. He was contemplating to sacrifice himself on the altar of her religion just to deliver what she desired if she had ever wished so.

She reached her hands out to his face and pressed her lips on his mildly. "No, I do not mind having a civil ceremony, Tony. If I ever wanted to have a religious one I would have said so." She then told him, caressing his cheeks reddened by the lashes of fresh wind in the air. "Besides, it is impossible anyway because you would have to convert to Judaism and I do not want you to do that."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Why not?" He objected almost whiningly. She knew that he would do _everything_ for her and if having a religious ceremony meant to accept the faith of a different religion, so be it.

"Because you would do it for _me_ , not for your own beliefs." She pointed out and he had to agree with it. "And that is not right."

He attempted to say something, to change her mind but she saved his words by another, this time very passionate kiss that made him feel quite wobbly. There was no need to study on countless renowned universities and graduate with an immense number of diplomas to recognize the sinful taste of a 'please-just-shut-up' kiss. And so he complied and let her to do to his lips whatever she wanted.

"But..." He whispered across her mouth weakly and she caught his lips in a pout between her two fingers as she caressed his face softly with her free hand.

"I mean the 'no' for real, my love." She shushed him gently and released the grip on his lips, focusing instead on the thick hair cover on his head. "You are very sweet to be so thoughtful but it is not necessary because religion is not what binds me to you, Tony. It is not a cornerstone of our relationship. But the marriage will be."

He settled his arms around her waist to press her closer to him as he nodded in understanding. There was still a gloomy wrinkle etched in his face as if wished he could do more for her, to give her the moon, the stars, whole solar system, galaxy or even the whole universe if it was in his powers. His concern for the religious ceremony was born out of love to her, nothing else.

"You have to learn that my religion and my faith are only between me and my God." She explained to him further because she could see that he needed to understand her specific relationship with her religion that was hers alone. "My love and my bond to you, however, are only between me and you."

She always perceived her faith as something strictly personal and her relative secretiveness wasn't about her not wanting to share things. It was just something she strongly protected within her heart, separated from everything else, and turned to it when she needed its energy, its strength. Letting someone in, even just to peek inside, meant an irreversible damage she couldn't ever patch up.

"Just as I will not let my love for you to affect my faith, I will not let my religion affect our marriage." She continued and he nodded softly to show that he comprehended her motives. "I am marrying you because I love you and because I want to create a marital bond between us. There is no religion involved, only our mutual love. And trust me, my God understands that."

He leaned down and captured her lips in a sweet, unhurried kiss – their own sign of a complete harmony. Gratefulness was also part of it as he wanted to thank her for her explanation that freed him of his guilt. Now, he could devote the rest of the day to his favourite activities with her, proving to her just how much he appreciated her as a person and woman he loved beyond comprehension.

* * *

Ziva nervously looked herself up and down in the full-length mirror to assess her looks. Her hair was tied in a hairstyle she would be never able to create by herself and it took her breath away that her hair could even be tied into something so beautiful. More down than up, her hair was bound by hair elastic in the area of the nape of her neck and curled so it created a very nice, loose but thick wavy ponytail.

The crown of her head was adorned by braided headband, fully attached to the ponytail in the back, creating a nice, smooth hill on the top of her head where a flowery hair comb was decorating her head. A few loose strands, taken off her non-existent fringe that also created the base of the braided headband, framed the rest of her face, slightly obscuring the long flowery earrings in the same design as the hair comb.

Her make-up was very decent in various shades of brown, complemented by a very light tone of beige lipstick to underline the whole look and make it look more natural. Still, it was more make-up than she was used to wearing with all the eyeliners and eyelash curls, powder blushers and some other make-up props she didn't even know they existed.

The hairstylist and make-up artists had done a magnificent job and she couldn't ever thanked them enough as they had been leaving about half an hour ago. Hitching up the skirt of her wedding dress, she assessed the look of the white low-heel shoes with opened forefoot and flowery lace around the edges and lacy strap around her ankle with a white ribbon on the back. They went with the wedding dress quite nicely and more importantly – they were comfortable.

"Isn't your mommy the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, princess Tali?" Terri sweetly asked Ziva's daughter she was holding in her hands, both watching as the Israeli woman judged her looks.

Ziva turned around and smiled at both widely, waving her fingers in the direction of her baby girl who had just been stuffed into her own toddler wedding dress. White with laced flower bodice and wide airy skirt, belted with a dark blue ribbon tied into a bow around the middle and headband in the same colour and same ribbon on the top of her tiny head, she looked absolutely adorable.

"Do you really think so?" She asked her friend who turned Tali in her arms in order to show her clothes off, laughing when she heard the bubbly giggle coming from the toddler.

"Of course, you are gorgeous!" She assured her and kept rocking the baby girl in her arms because she apparently loved it. "Damn, I'd marry you just for the way you look. Okay that is a bit shallow but you know what I mean..."

Ziva laughed in response and didn't omit to compliment Terri on her look as well. Her hairstyle was a system of strands of hair put there and there, tied in a nice bun at the back of her head but it still looked very natural. Her cocktail ivory dress with a lovely V-neck and the multiple times folded fabric on the bodice, loose flowing skirt down to her feet with a slit up to her thigh were an example of beautiful bridesmaid dress.

"So... Are you nervous?" Terri then asked her as she put the drowsing baby girl into an adorned white car seat for children, letting Tali rest so she would have energy for the ceremony itself.

Ziva shook her head immediately. "No." Taken aback by her confidence that could have been high when it came to her other abilities than emotions, she hesitated. "Well, yes but in that kind of normal way for a bride."

She turned back towards the mirror and once again saw the person she had become over the last few years and pride swelled inside her. "I am just... excited. I know that I am doing the right thing, that it will make me happy." She described further her feelings and smiled at Terri's reflection behind her back. "There are no doubts, no stress, no anything negative..."

Taking a deep breath into her lungs and then releasing it loudly, she revelled in the free feeling that bore nothing of the previously omnipresent tension inside her chest. "It is liberating." She commented it and smiled widely until the corners of her mouth started to hurt.

Terri approached her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "That's what I call 'therapy with love'." She said and laughed softly at Ziva's amused snort. "No really, Ziva... You deserve your happiness. I'm just glad I can be part of it."

A sob riddled through Ziva's throat, her emotions flying everywhere. But she refused to let any of the tears fall because she couldn't allow that perfect make-up to melt away and destroy the amazing job of the make-up artist. Instead, she turned around and wanted to hug Terri but she stopped her with a raised forefinger, signalling her to wait as she fished for her buzzing cell phone in her clutch bag.

"Ah, Abby's just texted me that the car is outside." Terri commented as she quickly wrote the reply and shoved back the cell phone back. "Grab your gear, your coach is here, milady."

Ziva nodded in understanding and draped her shoulders with the shawl protecting her from the cold outside, albeit it was quite warm weather for this time of the year. Then, she grabbed the car seat with her daughter, caressing her beautiful sleeping face and went out of the room. Terri took her clutch bag, Ziva's clutch bag, checked if they had everything and nothing was left in the hotel room and closed the door, slipping the key card to the bag.

Outside, Ziva hugged Abby who was similarly dressed and styled as Terri for a long second, sharing one of her last moments with her while still being single and giggling like a little girl with tears in her eyes as the Goth wished her all the good luck and best things in the world. Then she entrusted her with the car seat with Tali, thanked everyone around her and greeted the driver of her limousine.

For some reason, Tony hadn't hesitated to insist on treating her like his queen and personally had chosen a luxury car for her (and later for them as they would transfer together to the place of their wedding reception). It was a Rolls-Royce Phantom VII made in 2008 in a beautiful dark sapphire colour. A very robust car with everything that made Rolls-Royce a Rolls-Royce*5 and mainly spacious enough for a bride with monumental wedding dress.

She looked over her shoulder and waved back at her two bridesmaids and her little flower girl and climbed through the coach door inside the limousine, settling on the black leather black seat, leaning her feet against the softly carpeted footrest beneath her. The driver shut the door behind her and went to resume his seat behind the wheel so he would transfer the precious cargo at the rear to her destination.

Closing her eyes, she willed her heart to stop trying to break through her ribcage and rather focused on the pleasant piano melody coming from the speakers – a music playlist Tony had not only constructed but also recorded specifically for this occasion. She also noticed the lights above her and emotional tears fell down her cheeks as she looked up at the starlight headliner of the Rolls-Royce roof where to optic lights formed a bright heart shape with the others lights dimmed around it.

Her emotions were on overdrive when the screen built into the front seatbacks turned on and started a slideshow of photos of her and Tony, as well as them as family together with Tali. She could only thanks to the luxurious nature of the car that the passenger privacy had been ensured and the driver wasn't bothered by her emotional outburst whenever a new photo appeared on the screen.

The destination of their wedding ceremony wasn't far, as far as she could remember it was about 5 minute walk from the hotel they were accommodated in which was the same hotel they had been year and half ago. But because it was right in the middle of Prague historic centre where the streets could get very narrow, the car had to choose a different path to go around streets wide enough for the cars to fit in so she was in for about twice as longer ride, giving her enough time to appreciate the touching surprise from Tony.

Her two friends, her daughter and the hired photographer travelled behind her in a Blue Lava Škoda Superb*6 and definitely enjoyed the view through the centre of the city more than she did. Riding beneath Charles Bridge towards Prague Castle, they detoured towards their destination which was Vrtba Garden*7, a High Baroque garden on the slope of Petřín Hill with three garden terraces and Sala Terrena*8 where the wedding ceremony was about to take place.

When the car stopped on the free space by Karmelitská street where the entrance to the garden through Vrtba Palace was, she took a deep breath and wiped away the tears of emotion from her face. The car door opened and Gibbs' hand courteously reached for her to help her get out and she accepted it gratefully as she gathered the layers of her wedding dress to prevent any damage to it.

The driver left to make space for the second car, following the given instructions. Gibbs looked Ziva up and down and his breath hitched with the beauty he was examining. "You are absolutely stunning." He commented it as he embraced her in one of his fatherly hugs and Ziva thanked him warmly by kissing his cheek.

"As always, Agent Gibbs is right." A female voice with thick Israeli accent uttered behind him and Ziva pulled away to see if she heard right. "You are indeed a stunning bride."

"Orli!" Ziva exclaimed in happiness and replaced Gibbs' welcoming arms for those of the Mossad Director.

Gibbs smiled softly and went to pay attention to the second car where he played the same gentleman duty as earlier – helping Abby and Terri out of the car, as well as carrying the car seat with the precious baby girl whom he personally considered to be his granddaughter. And despite his inner reluctance, he openly posed for a couple of photos the photographer wanted to make.

"You are here!" Ziva continued as the hug with Orli ended and the woman caught her head to caress her cheek gingerly. "We were so worried when you did not let us know if you would come."

Orli had confirmed her attendance almost immediately after sending the wedding invitations but her position within Mossad ranks was a bit problematic. Regardless of her desires to be part of this marriage ceremony and the measures she could apply in order to attend it, her duty was to react on the current events in Israel so the possibility that she wouldn't have eventually come had been strong.

The engaged couple had prepared for this eventually and planned the ceremony in two variations – with her presence and with her absence. Every person involved in the ceremony had their role, some of them more significant one, some of them less significant. And Orli was given one of the most important ones so they had to count with her potential inability to show up.

"I flew in last night so I did not want to bother you in the morning of your big day." Orli apologized and her eyes couldn't get enough of the radiant beauty the woman in front of her radiated. "I rather decided to surprise you instead."

Ziva embraced her for one more time and then she went with the rest of those who had arrived into the passageway that would lead them to the garden's premises, cooing over her sweetly dressed daughter who kept resting peacefully. They went beneath an arc gate with a monumental statue of Atlas*9 and smaller statues representing abundances and fortune, reaching the garden entrance in the back wing of the building.

* * *

In the meantime, the rest of the wedding party was gathered upstairs on the third terrace at the very top of the garden where the bridal walk was supposed to begin. Tony, McGee, Senior, David, Ducky, Jimmy and Breena stood in a semicircle at the top of three radial paved paths that came together below a small gloriette which was a little ornamental auditorium decorated by seashells, mascarons and festoons with mermaid and tritons*10 reliefs and a breathtaking vintage point at the top of the structure where Ellie and Jake admired the view on historical centre of Prague with Prague Castle and other famous dominants.

Delilah, McGee's girlfriend and as he hoped soon-to-be fiancée, couldn't come with him due to some work issues and considering the nature of the wedding venue that was formed mostly from stairs, it wouldn't be convenient for her wheelchair. Abby's boyfriend Burt also had to stay back home, taking care dutifully of their mutual adopted pitbull puppy since they couldn't take the dog with them.

Vance and Tony's new team, the former Team Tudor, had to do without the presence at the ceremony, as well because someone had to stay back at the agency, manage it and do the necessary work. Tony and Ziva inspired in the example of Terri and David and also prepared a wedding reception later on in D.C. with everyone else included so no one would be robbed of the celebration of their marriage since not all of them could afford to attend their dream wedding.

After a commotion could be heard downstairs and Ellie gave a signal to Tim, he smiled at the groom. "Well, they're here." He commented it and stuck out his neck to catch a sight of the girls below and Ducky, Jimmy and Breena moved towards the railing framing the third terrace to see the bride for the first time.

"Wonderful, I'll go greet them." Tony spun around but was immediately stopped by David's strong hands.

"No way, man, turn around and stay as you are." David ordered to him seriously, seeking the support in the other two men who provided it gladly. "You're not allowed to see the bride _until_ she comes here."

"But..." Tony protested but was silenced by the stern looks of his best man, his father and his friend. He shuffled his feet and rebelled by turning his head over his shoulder at least.

Senior stepped up and patted his back soothingly. "He's right, Junior. Seeing your future wife for the first time in the wedding dress is..." He pointed out wistfully, searching for the right word.

"Unforgettable." Both Senior and David uttered in unison, earning a chuckle from McGee.

Tony played nervously with his hands for a moment. "If I recall correctly, you saw Terri for the first time in the wedding dress when you argued with your parents." He complained and growled when Tim forcefully turned him back so he couldn't see anything but the gloriette.

"Well, I saw her in the dress before that. That's..." He paused, his ears turning red for a moment but he didn't even have a chance to finish the sentence because a loud call of his name bounced off the walls of the garden.

He stood to attention and smiled at everyone apologetically. "Well, that's my cue to get my ass down and help so the ladies wouldn't fall in their high heels. That, my friend, is one of the perks of marriage." He said with a wink and hurried off down to offer the helping hand.

The remaining three men laughed softly and Tony took them affectionately around their shoulders, suddenly having the need for support. The step he was about to make was a serious one and he was aware of the years he had spent avoiding it because the first attempt he had gone through went awry, damaging his heart irreversibly. He just needed a momentary assurance that he wasn't dreaming but it was a genuine reality.

"Are you okay?" Tim asked him when he exchanged the look of worry with Senior. Tony could be affectionate without a reason at times but considering the approaching big moment, this display of feelings was definitely well-founded.

Tony laughed in response and clapped excitedly the shoulders of both men. "Yes. I have never been so ready in my life." He replied with a wide smile and patiently waited until the girls would climb the stairs up on the third terrace before turning around.

And the wait was definitely worth of it, even if it took a whole eternity according to his opinion. When he turned around he was immediately blinded by the reflection of sun against all the white colour in front of him. Shielding his view with a hand, he gasped in awe, stunned beyond imagination by the natural charm of his wife-to-be who seemed to be born to wear such beautiful wedding dress.

The brightly white sleeveless bridal gown of an A-line silhouette with a narrower top, flaring gently wider toward the bottom as the hemline softly touched the floor, creating a slight train at the back was breathtaking. The high neck, halter and sheer neckline decorated by tiny crystals substituted perfectly any kind of jewellery as it created a delicate collar on her swan neck.

At the back, the dress had an oval cut, leaving most of the skin exposed down to her nicely curved loins. Two thick straps ran from the front under her bust up towards the collar, narrowing into thin straps and creating a support for the chest. The material was very lightweight with fine and stiff netting called tulle with laced flowery hemline of the skirt, the bodice down to her hips and the straps.

Her hairstyle made her look like a queen to him with her hair mostly down and curly in places. The floral decorations like the hair comb and earrings only stressed the incredible prettiness she was embodying, just like the shoes he had the chance to notice at one point as she hitched up the skirt in the attempt to smooth it out and the adorable fingerless wrist gloves.

It was simply a joy to behold and he had to take David's and his father's point – seeing his future wife in the wedding dress for the first time was indeed an unforgettable moment because the image had already burnt into his mind. She was like an apparition from his dreams and fantasies if it wasn't for the real, familiar smile she had on her face as she adjusted the blanket in which Tali was tugged in.

Then she looked up at him and she appeared to be just as awed with his attire as he was with hers. Dressed in a groom variation of a tuxedo with black shiny pumps, black trousers with a single silk braid covering the outer seams and without cuffs, ivory low-cut waistcoat with black buttons, white shirt underneath with double cuffs and silver cufflinks as a gift from his father, turndown collar and a black silky blow tie around his neck, he looked dashing.

His ivory jacket with silky black shawl lapels was done up around his waist with a single large black button. The pockets of his jacket were hemmed with black silk as well; his breast pocket was adorned by a white silk handkerchief folded into "the puff" or "the Cooper" pocket square (as once famously worn by Gary Cooper) and a boutonnière out of her wedding bouquet embellished one of the lapels.

A moment of silence passed between them as if the world ceased to exist for this one fleeting moment and he noticed the tremble that ran through her. Worried that she might be too nervous in spite of all the care their family and friends had provided to her, he walked over to her. This time, no one attempted to stop him to be closer to his betrothed because everyone understood the need.

She looked up at him as he smiled at her encouragingly and before he could ask about her wellbeing, she launched herself at him, kissing him passionately. An ardent Ziva David wasn't an unfamiliar sight to him so he knew how to handle himself, yet the emotional weight of the whole event they were experiencing was a bit too much and he got carried himself away for a moment.

"Whoa, what was _that_ for?" He asked her, ignoring the teasing whistling and cheers from his friends when the kiss ended and they held onto each other tightly. "We're not even married yet; leave the best part for the wedding night."

She fanned herself with her hand, trying to loosen the firm grip on her throat. "The ride here... you..." She struggled to find the right words to express the emotional rollercoaster she had been through during the Rolls-Royce ride from the hotel to their wedding venue.

"Ah..." He uttered with a knowing smile, his heart skipping a beat to see that his surprise had born the fruit he had intended. "I'm really glad you liked it."

A sob escaped her lips and her throat tightened as she choked on her own tears she desperately tried to hold back so she wouldn't ruin her make-up. He clicked with his tongue in a cute manner and caressed her back soothingly to help her to get her feelings under control. It moved him beyond imagination that she appreciated something he had worked on during nights when she and Tali were sleeping so greatly.

She pulled away from him and wiped off the wetness on her face, frowning. "I hate you, you know that?" She whined like a petulant child, tapping the tears carefully to prevent any smudges.

"I think that's fairly obvious. It's one of the reasons why you're marrying me." He commented with a chuckle and helped her out with making her to be presentable again, peppering her cheeks with soft kissing.

He was pulled away from her the moment he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Sorry to interrupt, my dear lovebirds, but make-up emergency is here." Terri nudged him away and pulled out some fixation make-up stuff out of her handbag, already working on any damages that were done by the emotional outburst.

Ziva winked at him and he smiled, appreciating Terri's and Abby's looks with both words and gaze, as well. Especially for Abby it was very unusual but actually pretty nice look and he wished Burt could see her in the white colour. Maybe it would help him to take the plunge and propose to her, as well, but he guessed that adopting a puppy was enough for the time being.

Then, he realized that another person had joined their wedding party, focusing his eyes on the softly smirking Orli by the stairs on the third terrace. "Orli!" He exclaimed and stepped out in her direction, his arms spread in an anticipation of a hug. "I'm so happy you could make it."

She accepted his embrace warmly, smiling all the way through until she pulled away and her face turned serious. "Can I talk to you for a moment, short way off from the others?" She asked him, touching his arm gently to assure him that she didn't have in mind to talk with him about some serious business.

He nodded in understanding and pointed towards the gloriette that should provide them some privacy as everyone else gathered around the bride to be unstinting with praise on her beauty and the loveliness of her dress. Although a couple of nosy people noticed their momentary aloofness, none of them commented on it and let them do whatever they had in mind to do.

"How can I serve you?" Tony turned to Orli the moment they reached the gloriette, watching from afar as Ziva thanked to everyone around her for their compliments.

Orli took her time to observe Ziva in her most radiant moments of her life, too, and then she sighed contently. "I'd say by taking care of her but you are already doing a splendid job. It's above reproach." She replied with a proud smile and Tony's cheek turned a little bit red at the acclaim. "So... you can just give something to her for me."

She took her handbag off her shoulder and unzipped it to explore its contents. After some rummaging, she pulled out a blue square jewellery box, making sure that no one but Tony saw it at the moment. Putting her handbag back on her shoulder, she kept the box in her hands for a while and then almost ceremonially placed it into Tony's opened palms who accepted it with certain unease.

He didn't open it to see what type of jewellery it held but judging by the size of the box, he guessed at a necklace. "Orli, you didn't have to..." He tried to protest because this honour was supposed to belong to her, not to him.

She silenced him by covering his hands with her own on the jewellery box. "I know it should be me to give her this present but it's not from me. It's from Eli." She clarified because she had her own reasons for passing this honour on Tony. "I shouldn't be in possession of this at all but... Eli used to hide various things in the most curious of places."

It had been a couple of months she had made the discovery of the jewellery inside the box. She would have expected from someone like Eli David to have a secret compartment in his work desk but she would have never guessed that he had kept some of the most precious personal gems inside. Her heart had melted at the sight of the first pictures Tali and Ziva had drawn for him, the first toy car Ari had played with and her breath had caught in her throat upon seeing the content of the jewellery box, together with the self-explanatory photo.

Tony nodded in acknowledgement and opened the case, his yes caressing the dazzling splendour in it. A choker necklace made out of pink freshwater pearls and brilliants falling into three rows in a wavy manner connected by five sapphire flowers around the neck took any of the words of praise out of his mouth. Any queen or princess would be delighted to adorn herself with such a nice jewellery.

He was so captivated by the beauty that he didn't register the photo stuck at the corner of the case. If he would, he saw a photo of young Eli David and a woman in the wedding dress on what definitely had to be their wedding day. The woman on the photo wore this particular necklace and seemed to be incredibly happy, similarly to the bride that was about to become his wife.

"It belonged to Rivka." Orli added to provide further explanation and Tony gulped visibly. "Eli always wanted one of his daughters to have it."

Tony lifted his hand and after a brief moment of hesitation caressed the gorgeous pearls, the shining brilliants and deeply blue sapphires with his fingers, marvelling at their fine design. Then he looked at Ziva who was just laughing at something his father had said, closing the box firmly with a grateful nod towards the Mossad director in front of him. "Thank you." He stated and pressed a feathery kiss on Orli's cheek.

Since he had no place to put the jewellery box at the moment, Orli offered to guard it for him for now and then give it back to him at the wedding reception. With that, their conversation had ended, interrupted by the wedding planner from the agency who started to issue orders for their specially planned bridal walk through the 'aisle' towards the altar.

Tony exchanged a teasing wink with Ziva as she walked up the middle one of the paved paths towards the gloriette where her bridal walk was about to begin and he walked down to assume his position by the balustrade adorned with vases and statues of seven Ancient Gods – Apollo, Mercury, Diana, Juno, Minerva, Jupiter and Vulcan*11, where rest of the wedding party gathered in advance arranged positions.

Gibbs linked his arms with Ziva's and genuinely smiled at the radiant bride next to him which filled her with a confidence she hadn't felt for a long time. Whatever his wrongdoings could have been, whatever disagreements had occurred between them, their relationship was better and he earned the honour to 'give her away' as the fatherly figure she had sought in him.

And then, the first tones of _Canon in D_ composed by Johann Pachelbel*12 and beautifully played by a string quartet stirred the silence inside the garden and the bridal walk could finally begin. The wedding party split into two even groups and started to slowly and ceremonially walk down the stairs to the second floor of the garden with respectful distances.

The first group descending the stairs from their right side was led by Terri as the witness of the bride and included Orli, David, Jimmy, Breena and Ducky, while the second group was led by McGee, formed by Tony, Senior, Abby who was entrusted with Tali, Ellie and Jake. Gibbs and Ziva remained motionless by the gloriette and just watched the festive stroll from their scenic position.

Once the party reached the bottom of the stairs, a new song – _Royal Procession March in G_ – invited them to form a new arrangement in the second terrace of the garden. While Tony went forward towards the other set of stairs leading to the first floor, Orli stayed rooted on her spot by the stairs she had just descended and the rest of the wedding guests formed a double row between them around the small pond in the middle of the second terrace with two large flowerbeds comprising of European Boxes and Horned Violets.

Ziva firmly gripped the white satin cloth wrapped around the stems of her wedding bouquet consisting of beautiful array of white blooms like white orchids, white roses, white lilies, freesias and mini hydrangeas offset by lush greens arranged in a cascade fashion when the first tones of the next composition resounded in the garden, giving her the hint that now, it was her time to move.

Putting carefully one foot in front of the other with her chest proudly stuck out and with Gibbs' strong hold on her, she walked down the paved path towards the balustrade and then down the stairs, aware of the all the eyes that were focused on her. Her ears absorbed the pleasant sound of _Greensleeves*13_ melody and she fearlessly and with a broad smile on her face let the wedding dress flow behind her majestically as she ended up right in front of Orli.

There, Gibbs released her and offered her hand to the Director of Mossad who accepted it with a deep nod, linking her arm with the bride just like Gibbs had before. The melody then profoundly changed into _Lute concerto in D Major, II Largo_ by Antonio Vivaldi*14 as the wedding party set off on another descend through the garden to the first floor, passing by two monumental thujas, leaving the bride and Orli behind them.

The formation of a double row with slight alternation as Gibbs was the one now standing at the foot of the stairs and with Tony waiting by the fountain of a chubby child fighting with a water-spewing dragon was done during the melody of _Te Deum in D Major, Prelude_ composed by Marc-Antoine Charpentier*15. The tension was escalating as the main part of the bridal walk neared to its peak.

The two women upstairs set off on their stroll down as the melody of _Ave Maria_ by Franz Schubert*16 gave them the cue to do so. It was a magnificent spectacle and everyone was aware of the symbolism that Orli's presence presented. She was the father who was no longer alive and the mother Ziva had resented at first but eventually had chosen to assume that vacant position, as well.

When they arrived at the foot of the stairs, Gibbs linked his arm through Ziva's second one and the walk fluently continued towards Tony standing by the fountain accompanied by the soft tones of _Serenade from Swan Song_ , once again a work of Franz Schubert*17. The surrogate parents led the radiant bride through the path of the garden to give her away to the raring groom.

And that Tony almost tripped over his own feet when he eagerly accepted the hand of his beloved who smiled up at him with the most shining smile he had ever seen and he was sure that it wasn't any different for him. He would have kissed her endlessly right here and now but he managed to control himself and just watch the whitish aura enveloping her, glowing like a snowdrift under the sun.

After all, it was time to line up for the great finale of the bridal walk while the rest of the wedding party moved to the Sala Terrena, the fresco-decorated place of the wedding ceremony as the string quartet changed the tune to _Air on a G string_ , an arrangement of Bach's second movement from Orchestral Suite No. 3 in D Major by August Whilhejm, allowing the violinist to play the composition on a violin's lowest string, the G string.

When all was set, Tony and Ziva stood at the front facing Sala Terrena with their witnesses behind them and followed by the parental figures of their lives – Gibbs, Orli and Senior. The rest of the wedding guests were already seated inside the Sala Terrena with the officiant, the registrar and the interpreter who were standing inside, waiting for the bride and the groom to come forward.

Upon their signal, the string quartet started to play probably one of the most famous classical songs associated with weddings – _The Bridal Chorus_ from opera _Lohengrin_ from German composer Richard Wagner*18. The bride and the groom took a one last breath simultaneously and stepped out in the same time in the direction of Sala Terrena with Tim, Terri, Gibbs, Orli and Senior accompanying them on this last step of the long journey towards the altar.

_Faithfully guided, draw near_

_to where the blessing of love shall preserve you!_

_Triumphant courage, the reward of love,_

_joins you in faith as the happiest of couples!_

_Champion of virtue, proceed!_

_Jewel of youth, proceed!_

_Flee now the splendour of the wedding feast,_

_may the delights of the heart be yours!_

_This sweet-smelling room, decked for love,_

_now takes you in, away from the splendour._

_Faithfully guided, draw now near_

_to where the blessing of love shall preserve you!_

_Triumphant courage, love so pure,_

_joins you in faith as the happiest of couples!_

Breaking the traditional cycle of bride walking down the aisle with her father, they marched towards the altar side by side towards their marriage. It was a simple symbol of their unity, affiliation and equality. It was a metaphor to their relationship because only when they were together, they formed a strong, rare bond that made them both powerful and confident than anything else.

The registrar welcomed them inside Sala Terrena and introduced them to the wedding officiant and the interpreter as it was officially required, including the witnesses and the parents. Senior, Gibbs and Orli then sat down on their chairs while Tony and Ziva approached the altar with the wedding officiant and interpreter behind it, Tim and Terri standing behind the groom and bride respectively to serve as their dutiful witnesses.

"Vážení svatebčané, milí snoubenci, dovolte mi, abych vás přivítal v tento významný den, který mohu s potěšením sdílet s vámi." The wedding officiant announced ceremonially with a pleasant smile on his face, his loud and strong voice commencing the wedding ceremony.*19

"Dear wedding guests, dear bride and groom, allow me to welcome you here on this day of great significance that I am delighted to share with you." The interpreter translated his words with equally broad smile and a really melodic voice that intensified the festive moment.

"Dnešní den patří k těm nejdůležitějším ve Vašem životě, protože hodláte přijmout manželský slib, kterým posvětíte svou vzájemnou lásku, úctu, toleranci a podporu." The officiant turned his attention solely on the engaged couple in front of him. "Vaše manželství bude potvrzeno slavnostními slovy a od dnešního dne budete životem kráčet po boku někoho, bez něhož žít nelze."

"This day belongs to the most important ones in your life because you intend to make a marriage vow that sanctifies your mutual love, respect, tolerance and support." The interpreter followed with an appropriate translation. "Your marriage is going to be certified by ceremonial words and as of today, you will walk through life with someone you cannot live without by your side."

Those words didn't create a certain type of smirk on bride's and groom's faces only, but on the wedding guests' faces, as well. Each of them had become witnesses of their courting, their endless dance around each other and most importantly, their connection and relationship. Their multiple separations had proved enough that they indeed couldn't be without each other for too long because only the closet presence of the other was the basic element of shot in the arm and reason for living.

"Vše má určitou chvíli. Veškeré dění má svůj čas. Od okamžiku, kdy jste se poprvé poznali, již uplynula dlouhá doba. Cesta k naplnění vašeho vztahu svazkem manželským byla trnitá, složitá a často plná bolesti. Bylo by však nemoudré tuto minulost plně odstřihnout, protože právě naše chyby z nás dělají to, čím jsme." The officiant wisely incorporated the love story of Tony and Ziva into his speech and completed it with a necessary lesson.

"Everything has a certain moment. All developments have their own time. A plenty of time passed since the moment you have met for the first time. The journey towards the fulfilment of your relationship by the bond of marriage was difficult, complicated and often painful. However, it would be unwise to fully cut yourselves off of that particular past because our mistakes are shaping us into who we are." The interpreter translated dutifully and smiled at the engaged couple as they received the lesson with a knowing smile.

Ziva didn't lower her head although she would have done so only a couple of months ago. She was fully aware that the complicated relationship with Tony was mostly her fault but she agreed with the lesson in the wedding speech – mistakes had shaped them into who they were and as a couple. Those mistakes had made them stronger than she could ever imagine.

She couldn't know what their relationship would have been like if they had accepted their feelings from the very beginning but considering how immature they both had been, she had suspected that it wouldn't have ended well. She and Tony had embraced the pain they had caused to each other and instead of using it as instrument of bad memories; they had reformed it into the experience that was necessary in order to be so confident and in love with each other as they were at the moment. The positive outweighed the negative.

"O to víc je pro vás důležité vážit si Vašeho spojení, toho pouta, které jste konečně ztvrdili – jak jsem s potěšením dozvěděl – zde v Praze." The officiant continued and spread his hands towards the city he had just mentioned. "Věřte mi, že pro oddávajícího neexistuje větší radost než provádět posvěcení lásky dvou lidí se společnou minulostí v tomto krásném městě. Rozhodli jste se tak uctít nejen vaši trvalou vzájemnou náklonnost, ale i okolnosti, které vás konečně svedly dohromady."

"The more is important for you to cherish your connection, your bond you have strengthened – as I found out with delight – here, in Prague." The interpreter explained the meaning behind the words of her colleague. "Believe me, there is no greater pleasure for an officiant than to perform a blessing of love of two people with mutual past in this beautiful city."

Tony returned momentarily to that moment his eyes had caught the sight of the love of his life on Charles Bridge. It was one of his favourite memories he loved to revisit often because it meant a significant turn in his life, one he couldn't have predicted even with the help of the best fortune tellers in the world. The more he was grateful to be bestowed with so much happiness thanks to it.

What could have happened if he had visited London, Vienna, Paris or any other city he had ever wished to explore? No answer existed on such a rhetorical question because it was unimportant. Fate had led him to Prague, Fate had put Ziva David in his path and he thanked the Fate for it every single day. That fateful Christmas meeting one and half year ago had changed his life beyond recognition.

"I proto je nyní podstatné uctít ty pozitivní okolnosti Vašeho spojení, Váš láskyplný a šťastný společný život, který již z části došel naplnění narozením Vaší úžasné a roztomilé dcery Tali." The officiant stated and laughed softly with everyone else when Tali yelled out in her adorable baby voice upon hearing her name.

"Therefore it is now essential to honour the positive circumstances of your union, your loving and happy common life that has partially come into fruition by the birth of your amazing and adorable daughter Tali." The interpreter followed as Abby had to calm Tali down with a slightly rocky movement because she was getting too excited over so many mentions of her name.

The engaged couple couldn't resist and both heads turned around to look at the fruit, the literal sun of their lives. Tali's existence only cemented all the previously uttered promises and love confessions between them. She was the product of their mutual love they had created together in the waves of passion and she would be treasured as such for the rest of her life. Probably to her embarrassment in her teenage years but her parents would assure her that they meant no harm.

"Nechť se tento den navždy zapíše do Vašich vzpomínek jako den výjimečný, jedinečný a neopakovatelný, prožitý ke vší spokojenosti bez zbytečných stresů a starostí v kruhu rodiny a přátel, které jste si sami zvolili a kteří mají Vaši plnou důvěru a lásku." The officiant concluded the wedding speech when both the bride and the groom turned their heads back to him.

"May this day be fixed forever in your minds as an extraordinary, remarkable and unrepeatable day spent to your full satisfaction without pointless stresses and worries in the circle of family and friends you have chosen by yourselves and who have your ultimate faith and love." The interpreter wished to the happy couple in the language they both understood.

The bride and the groom barely managed to hold back the tears full of emotion as they gratefully nodded at both the officiant and the interpreter for the beautiful, truthful and kind wedding speech. They hadn't had any hand it in, not because they wouldn't care but because they simply had too much to do and the officiant himself had offered to construct the speech by himself after acquiring a couple of details of their love story.

"A nyní přistoupíme k manželskému slibu. Prosím, otočte se k sobě a vezměte se za ruce." The officiant appealed to them with another broad smile.

"And now, let's proceed to the marriage vow. Please, turn face to face and take your hands." The interpreter repeated the same words in English.

Ziva took a deep breath, her cheeks colouring in a deep shade of crimson, increasing the presence of red colour in her face as she turned sideways to meet with already expectant Tony. He held out his shaking hands to her and she reached for them immediately, both seeking the support and balance in one another. They achieved that because once their hands joined, surge of great confidence shot through them, calming their breathing at least.

"Pane ženichu, opakujte po mě: _„Já, Anthony DiNozzo Junior, beru si tebe, Zivo David, za svou ženu, abych tě mohl milovat dnes a navždy._ _"_ The officiant began and the interpreter promptly translated the words for Tony so he could repeat them as he was invited to do so. " _Budu tě milovat, když jsme spolu i když nás život rozdělí. Má láska k tobě bude stejně silná, ať už bude náš společný život snadný nebo těžký. Tvé životní cíle budu vždy ctít a pomáhat ti v jejich naplnění. Vždy vůči tobě bude otevřený a upřímný. Toto ti teď slibuji z hloubi svého srdce._ _"_

"I, Anthony DiNozzo, take thee, Ziva David, as my wife so I could love you today and forever." Tony dutifully recited every single word of the marriage vow as if he had it etched in his memory, looking deeply into her eyes. "I will love you when we are together and even when the life separates us. My love for you will be equally strong no matter if our life together will be easy or difficult. I will always respect your life goals and help you in their achievement. I will always be open and sincere with you. That is what I promise to you now from the bottom of my heart."

She squeezed hard his hands to maintain her composure and not to start openly crying here and now for she was touched beyond imagination with his words. She could see and hear that he meant them because his voice was trembling with emotion for the whole time and his eyes watered but he refused to let the tears fall because he didn't want to tear them away from his beautiful bride.

"Slečno nevěsto, opakujte po mě: _„Já, Ziva David, si beru tebe, Anthony DiNozzo, za svého manžela a slibuji ti, že při tobě vždy budu stát a milovat tě, v časech dobrých i zlých._ _"_ The wedding mercilessly continued and she took another deep breath to ease the tension inside her chest as the officiant dictated the words of her marriage vow. " _Budu dělat vše pro to, abys nikdy nepochyboval o mé lásce, úctě a respektu k tobě. Jsi mým dechem, mou myšlenkou, mým vědomím i nevědomou intuicí. Pro to, aby si se mnou byl šťastný, udělám vše, co bude v mých silách. Toto ti teď slibuji z hloubi svého srdce._ _"_

"I, Ziva David, take thee, Anthony DiNozzo, as my husband and I promise to always stand with you and love you no matter if the times are good or bad." She faltered but found her voice pretty quickly, especially after Tony smiled at her encouragingly. "I will do my best to never make you doubtful about my love, my respect and my appreciation for you. You are my breath, my thought, my consciousness as well as my involuntary intuition. To make you happy, I will do everything that is in my powers. That is what I promise to you now from the bottom of my heart."

Tony would love to tell her that she had already done everything she could to make him happy but this was her vow and so he was in no position to object. He accepted the words with a tearful smile, his elation doubled when he heard the sobs from other wedding guests. He knew she had written this vow by herself just as he had written his and it did reflect all their insecurities they swore to work on together.

"Oba dva snoubenci před oddávajícím uvedli, že jim nejsou známy překážky, které by jim bránily uzavřít manželství, že navzájem znají svůj zdravotní stav a že zvážili uspořádání budoucích majetkových poměrů svého bydlení a hmotného zajištění pro uzavření manželství." The officiant carried on, reciting the part of the wedding ceremony that was required by Czech laws while the engaged couple wiped away their respective tears.

"Both the bride and the groom stated in front of the officiant that they are not aware of any obstacles that would prevent them to enter into marriage, that they know the health conditions of one another and that they considered the organization of their future property relations of the housing situation and financial security for their time of marriage." The interpreter rapidly translated the legal necessities, exchanging a knowing smile with the officiant.

"Nyní se Vás tážu milí snoubenci, zdali vstupujete dobrovolně do manželství?" The officiant turned back to the engaged couple and looked directly at Tony. "Pane ženichu?"

"Now I ask you, the bride and the groom, if you enter into the marriage voluntarily?" The interpreter explained when Tony laid his eyes on her in question. "Mr. Groom?"

Tony's eyes found Ziva and he didn't need a moment to think about it, he even didn't dare to make some childish joke because he felt incredibly honoured by this simple chance. "Yes." He confirmed, certifying his love for Ziva and his desire to marry her with a three-letter word that meant more than anything.

"Slečno nevěsto?" The officiant turned to Ziva whose eyes shone like the two of the brightest stars on the night sky.

"Miss Bride?" The interpreter chipped in.

Ziva also toyed with the idea to ease the situation by cracking some obviously fake second of hesitation but once she looked up at him, she forsake the idea. Having fun was one of the most important spices of their relationship but one had to also know when it was time to be serious and honour the gravity of the step they were currently taking together at the altar.

"Yes." She answered in the most convincing tone he had ever heard from her and his heart skipped a beat.

"Tím bychom za sebou měli tu zákonnou stránku věci, přistupme tedy k té slavnostnější." The officiant announced and closed the file in front of him that served him as a clue in order not to forget about something during this very important moment. "Můžete provést výměnu prstenů."

"That would wrap up the legal side of the things, we can now proceed to the more ceremonial one." The interpreter translated and McGee squeezed the velvet box in his hands. "You can exchange your rings."

Tony turned to Tim who handed the box with the ring over to him, pulling out the diamond and sapphire gold ring that once belonged to his deceased mother. She couldn't be her physically but at least her presence was symbolized in this piece of jewellery that symbolized the eternal love of his parents. Gulping, he reached for the shaking hand of his bride and slid the band around the ring finger of her left hand.

Ziva clenched her left hand into a fist a couple of times as if she wanted to get used to the ring and then she accepted the offered simple gold ring with a diamond on top in the same shape and cut as hers was from Terri and slid the band down the ring finger of her groom, smiling up at him as she did so. Her joy was absolutely indescribable at that moment, watching as Tony joined their hands and the rings clanked against each other for the first time.

"Gratuluji Vám, teď již ne milí snoubenci ale milí novomanželé. Svůj sňatek nyní můžete stvrdit prvním manželským políbením." The officiant stated with a smile, gesturing at them quite tellingly.

"Congratulations to you, dear no-longer-bride-and-groom but dear newlyweds. You can now seal your marriage with first kiss as husband and wife." The interpreter added dutifully as required, although everyone had the idea what was about to come.

The pair, now indeed a married couple, looked at each other and for a moment everything else ceased to exist. No words were needed. Their unshed tears, their reddened cheeks, their laboured breathing, their longing looks – they were enough of an evidence proving how much they were in love with each other and what a thorny way they had travelled in order to be here today.

Tony erased the rest of the remaining gap between them and carefully took her around her waist, bending down to kiss her passionately, albeit modestly. She pressed her hand on his cheek in return, deepening the kiss according to her wishes, tasting the sweetness of the very first lip-lock as husband and wife. While there wasn't seemingly any difference, they both felt that certain change had occurred.

Neither of them heard the applause from their friends and family who clapped in celebration through their tears. It wasn't until Tali squirmed in her carrier and let out an excited scream as if she understood what was happening in front of her, despite her age, when they finally became aware of their surroundings again, the parental instincts kicking back in.

"Now, only one formality remains – you and your witnesses must sign the marriage certificate." The officiant switched to fluent English as the ceremony had just ended and the usage of official language was no longer required.

And they all confirmed the marriage certificate with their signatures from Tony, Ziva, McGee, Terri to the officiant, registrar and interpreter. Afterwards, the registrar handed over to all of them a glass of champagne and a little toast occurred before all the celebrations could begin to honour the just concluded wedding ceremony in a festive fashion.

The officiant, registrar and interpreter then took their leave, congratulating them once more and wishing them the happiness for the future life, as well as pleasant rest of their stay in Prague to enjoy their celebrations. The newlyweds thanked them for their services and the beautiful ceremony they had orchestrated in a perfect harmony with so many nice and unforgettable details.

As a cue, the string quartet then started to play probably the most famous wedding song in the world – _Wedding March_ in C major composed by Felix Mendelssohn.*20 The rest of the wedding guests formed a line in order to congratulate the happy newly married couple, adding a couple of personal words in their wishes and exchanging hugs and tears of joy over such a beautiful and emotional wedding ceremony.

* * *

Afterwards, the wedding party had left for the Restaurant Aquarius where the reception was about to be held. Since it was just a couple of steps from the place of wedding ceremony, in the immediate vicinity of the US embassy, they walked there while the newlyweds remained in the Vrtba garden for a photo shoot within the serene and lovely nature.

The photographer was very innovative and came up with many interesting ideas for the photos of the bride and the groom including their daughter. The sweet classic wasn't omitted either, however, and so the photo shoot went smoothly and to the satisfaction of all. The woman expressed her joy to work with the pair for their natural photogenic nature and having the ability to bring her ideas to life.

With the help of the Rolls Royce, they then transferred to the restaurant with a gorgeously decorated interior. The antique furniture made of white wood and red cushioning, the walls adorned by Venetian plaster and hand-painted wallpapers and the crystal breathtaking chandeliers created a very luxurious and fairytale atmosphere of the wedding reception.

Moreover, there was access to a courtyard with a baroque fountain adorned by flowers, providing the wedding guests with a romantic environment and enough privacy. There was the place where Tony and Ziva cut their wedding cake – as a part of the traditional wedding customs. Ziva held the knife and Tony covered her hand with his as a symbol o her support. Together, they sank the blade into the cake to share it with the others who couldn't refuse the offer.

It was also the place of their first dance on the melody of _Masquerade Waltz_ by Aram Khachaturian*21, although in a way slower tempo – while both could dance quite well, it was still strenuous to dance on something so bouncy. The others joined after to the classical melodies like _The Blue Danube_ composed by Johann Strauss, _Waltz no. 2_ by Dmitri Shostakovich or _Swan Lake Waltz_ by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky.

There were other wedding customs they indulged in and with the help of the restaurant staff, in a Czech fashion. After they arrived to the restaurant, the wedding guest threw rice in the air above them as they were walking hand in hand inside through the row. It was a rendition of old pagan custom bringing fortune and fertility, originally with the use of nuts, seeds and flowers.

Then right after they came inside, the staff broke a porcelain plate (glass was forbidden in the custom) in front of them ( _accidentally,_ of course) and then offered them the dustpan and brush. While the noise of breaking plate was supposed to chase away the evil spirits, the shards were always the symbol of happiness. And well, the way the newlyweds would deal with cleaning the shards indicated how well they would work in marriage.

Another marriage test followed during the feast – the staff brought them one plate with a soup and tied the couple together with a white tablecloth. Both received a spoon and they were supposed to eat the soup together, feeding each other. It was lesson in which the husband and wife should realize that their cooperation during marriage was necessary and it was required to contribute equally to its success.

More and more traditions followed including funny and festive toasts and tossing of the bride's bouquet everyone was involved in due to the relative low number of guests and because most of them were already in a serious relationship, simply just for fun. Because that was what it was supposed to be – a funny, leisure, harmonic and lovely celebration of the marriage that everyone knew would happen one day.

And on that day, May 11th 2017, Tony and Ziva had finally confirmed their eternal love with a marriage vow, opening maybe new, but already familiar chapter of their lives. For their marriage was just a bonus to what they found in each other – the enormously strong support, the fabulous fulfilment of their dreams, the love that could defeat anything and the mental connection nothing could severe.

_**The End of Chapter 43** _

* * *

*1 Just for information – I am one of these bureaucratic crazies as I am the office rat and a strict one at times. ;) So, here's a jab at myself.

*2 Ketubah – marriage contract, an integral part of traditional Jewish marriage that outlines the rights and responsibilities of the groom concerning the bride

*3, Chuppah – a canopy under which Jewish couple stands during the wedding ceremony. It's a structure of four poles with a cloth or sheet stretch over them. Chuppah symbolizes the home that the couple will build together.

*4 Glass breaking and plate breaking – even though they look similar, their meanings are different. Glass breaking is a Jewish wedding custom where a groom breaks the glass, crushing it with his right foot after the bride has given the ring or after the end of the ceremony. The guests shout 'Mazel Tov'. Meanings are two – joy must always be tempered and that despite joy, Jews still mourn the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. Plate breaking is a Czech wedding custom I will also explain later in the story. To understand the differences, though, here is the explanation – at the beginning of the wedding reception, a plate is broken at the feet of the bride and groom and they must sweep the chips together. Meanings are also two - there is a superstition that says that chips bring happiness and it also shows how the newlyweds are capable of cooperation by sweeping together and thus to show if their marriage will be harmonious or not.

*5 Rolls-Royce – a luxury automobile made by Rolls-Royce Motor Cars Limited situated in the United Kingdom, wholly owned by German BMW group. Phantom VII was launched in 2003 and is credited for reviving the Rolls-Royce brand and its credibility. It uses a unique chassis platform, body, interior and retains traditional Rolls-Royce design cues such as _The Spirit of Ecstasy_ , the bonnet ornament sculpture in the form of a woman leaning forward with her arms outstretched behind and above her and cloth running from her arms to her back, resembling wings, or the grille at the front of the car.

*6 Škoda Superb, third generation – large luxurious family car produced by Škoda Auto, a Czech automobile manufacturer founded in 1895, now part of the Volkswagen Group. The second generation belongs to one of the most successful cars made by Škoda, as it was critically acclaimed world-wide (e.g. Luxury Car of the Year by Top Gear Magazine), third generation has also received positive ratings by The Telegraph, Autocar, Top Gear or Auto Bild (each rating not below 80 %), defeating rivals of Mercedes-Benz and Volkswagen Passat. It is the Car of the Year in the Czech Republic (and for some reason in Macedonia, as well) and a World Car of the Year finalist.

*7 Vrtba Garden – as mentioned, it is a Baroque garden in the Lesser Town district and is opened to public. It neighbours with Vratislav and Schönborn gardens that are closed to public due to its US embassy ownership. In fact, US embassy seats a couple of meters away from the Vrtba garen, right next to Vratislav Palace where are embassies of Ireland, Kosovo, as well as Honorary consulate of Ethiopia and American Centre.

*8 Sala Terrena – an opened architectonic structure typical for Baroque palace and castle gardens. It's a hall on the ground floor with its space opened to the garden by classic arcade of three arcs. It was used as a relaxation and snack area, decorated with various ornaments and fountains.

*9 Atlas – from Greek mythology, he was a titan condemned to hold up celestial heavens for eternity which is why he is so often depicted holding celestial sphere on his shoulders and back or his statue is often used a column.

*10 Well, let me break down all the garden features... Gloriette = building in the garden erected on a site that is elevated with respect to the surroundings. Probably the most famous one stands in Schönbrunn Palace Garden in Vienna in Austria (and it's freaking impressive with an incredible view on the whole of Vienna, trust me I was there). This one is actually called 'teatron' in Czech but I couldn't find any English version of that feature so I went with gloriette, instead. Mascaron = face ornament, usually human, originally used to frighten away evil spirits. Festoon = carved ornament depicting arrangement of flowers, foliage or fruit bound together and suspended by ribbons. Triton = Greek God of the Sea, the son of Poseidon and Amphitrite, often depicted as a merman (upper body of a human, lower body tailed as a fish).

*11 Apollo = God of the Sun, light, oracles, knowledge, healing, diseases, music, poetry, songs, dance, archery, herds and flocks and protection of young, son of Zeus and Leto and patron of deity of Delphi. Mercury = God of financial gain, commerce, eloquence, messages, communication, travellers, boundaries, luck, trickery, merchants, thieves, son of Maia and Jupiter, guider of souls to the underworld. Diana = Goddess of the hunt, wild animals, fertility and the Moon, Roman version of the Goddess Artemis, the twin sister of Apollo and the virgin goddess and protector of childbirth. Juno = Goddess of marriage and childbirth, protector and special counsellor of the state, Roman equivalent to Hera, wife of Zeus. Minerva = Goddess of poetry, wisdom, strategic warfare, commerce, weaving and the crafts. Jupiter = God of the Sky and Lighting, Roman king of the gods, equivalent to Greek God Zeus. Vulcan = God of Fire, metalworking and the forge.

*12 Canon in D is a very popular composition for wedding ceremonies. While the circumstances of the composition are unknown, there are suggestions that it could have been composed for Johann Christopher Bach's wedding (brother of more famous Johann Sebastian Bach) that Johann Pachelbel attended. He was a German composer, organist and a musical teacher, living in the second half of 17th century.

*13 Greensleeves – traditional English folk song from 16th century, originally registered by Richard Jones at the London Stationer's Company. The legendary belief, however, is that it was composed by Henry VIII for Anne Boleyn who kept rejecting his attempts to seduce her before she would become his queen. Same melody is used for a Christmas carol 'What Child Is This?' written by William Chatterton Dix in 19th century.

*14 Lute concerto in D Major – one of four works featuring solo lute from 18th century composed by Antonio Vivaldi, an Italian Baroque musical composer, virtuoso violinist, teacher and one of my personal favourites when it comes to classical music. His most famous composition is _Four Seasons_ (with Winter and Summer being my favourite).

*15 Te Deum is a composition of six movements (only four of them survived, though) composed by French Baroque composer Marc-Antoine Charpentier in 17th century.

*16 Ellen's Third Song composed by German composer Franz Schubert in early 19th century is commonly known as Ave Maria, the Latin name of a prayer Hail Mary. While nowadays, the song is sang with the lyrics of Hail Mary prayer, Schubert wrote it as a part of his musical cycle inspired by Walter Scott's The Lady of the Lake where the character Ellen Douglas, the Lady of the lake, sings a prayer addressed to Virgin Mary, calling upon her for help.

*17 Schwanengesang or Swan Song in English is a collection of songs written by Schubert at the end of his life and published posthumously.

*18 The Bridal Chorus is commonly known in English countries as _Here Comes the Bride_. It became popular since the wedding of Victoria, the Princess Royal and Prince Frederick William of Prussia. Although it is played without the singing, I am taking the liberty here to present the beautiful lyrics translated to English from German (not by me).

*19 Since the wedding is taking place in the Czech Republic and the official language here is Czech, all legal acts must be conducted in the Czech language, including marriage ceremony. That is why I keep the Czech version of the wedding speech by the officiant in the text as well and introduce the interpreter in the story. The structure of the wedding, including some of the phrases necessary for legal reasons, is also in accordance of a typical Czech wedding.

*20 Wedding March by Felix Mendelssohn – one of the best known pieces written in 19th century of his suite of incidental music to Shakespeare's play 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'. The song became popular at weddings with the marriage of Victoria and Frederick William of Prussia, just like with the Bridal Chorus.

*21 So I gave a lot of thought to this... And then I realized that I actually project things I personally like the most into the story since the beginning so... I chose Masquerade Waltz because it's probably my most favourite Waltz classical melody (aside The Godfather Waltz by Nino Rota), no matter that I don't specifically agree with political views of its composer (Aram Khachaturian was a Soviet-Armenian composer and is considered as one of the leading Soviet composers). It's epic and lively, energetic and yes, I often dance on the melody at home across the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I didn't mean to create any religious discourse – I, myself, am profound atheist but I still felt like it needed to be touched upon since Ziva does have her faith but never really openly showed it unless it was for personal reasons. Which is what I went with in this chapter. If it offended anyone, be sure that I never meant to do that.
> 
> Albeit being TIVA writer for years, it's actually the very first wedding I have ever written for them and I hope it was okay for you and up with your expectations. I advise you to listen to all the musical compositions and look up all the stuff I mentioned in the footnotes because they are incredible to look at (the Rolls-Royce, damn – my favourite research when it comes to this chapter). Anyone interested to see Ziva's wedding dress, just Google "Eddy K Milena" and the results should show you what I mean (also my favourite part of the research to choose the dress – so many pretty ones to choose from!). Unfortunately, I can't offer the final wedding look for Tony because I patched it from three different models to get the ideal image in my mind.
> 
> Well, that's it from me for now – expect the very last chapter next month! Have a lovely week everyone!


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note:
> 
> In the beginning, I'd love to thank the Guest reviewer who has visited Prague and relived the experience with my story because THAT warms my heart a lot. :) Your comment is magical for me, so I hope you will find this epilogue to your liking, too.
> 
> Well, here we are. THE LAST CHAPTER.
> 
> I used to thank the most loyal readers personally in the last chapter but this story is going on for almost 5 years and so many people have gone and have come and so many of them simply stayed from start to finish that I stopped keeping track a long time ago.
> 
> Instead, I thank you ALL for the journey you have taken with me. It's been one of the most interesting times I have ever had and it had given me a lot. I hope that you have taken away something positive too – if there is even a minimal impact of my story on any of you, my job was done right.
> 
> However...
> 
> I can't go on without mentioning my sister Athina who has been with me from the very start and in whose beautiful country the idea was born since I came up with the story while vacationing on Crete. She has been my solid rock during the story multiple times.
> 
> I also can't go on without mentioning Kamille and Randy, the two people who Beta read several chapters of the fic and didn't get tired with correcting my mistakes.
> 
> I must mention Debbie who never ceased to amaze me with the dedication she has for reading my story and for being a kind and nice person overall, just like Nekesha, ihvee or DS2010.
> 
> I also have to mention thanks to Lipush who was very helpful with Israel facts and details.
> 
> And this is it. The epilogue. The end. Thank you so much, everyone!
> 
> Disclaimer:  
> I do not own NCIS or its characters.

_**Christmas Meeting – Chapter 44** _

_**26**_ _ **th** _ _**May, 2022** _

"Gotcha!" Tony exclaimed, scooping up his five-year old baby girl in the air and twirling her, enjoying the sound of her adorable giggles.

But then Tali's expression turned into a frown as she buried her head in the crook of his neck. "Not fair." She complained, her little fists patting his shoulder.

He pulled away to look at her, innocent face plastered over his features. "How's so?" He asked her curiously, looking into her beautiful eyes of hazelnut brown colour.

"You should not step on the lines." She berated him, pointing her finger down on the ground.

Tony looked below his feet. They were standing in the middle of stony labyrinth – another replica of the famous one from Charters Cathedral – in the Garden of Reflection and Remembrance within the University of Maryland premises. They were only a few moments away from Ziva's commencement as Master of Arts in History and Tali was getting restless by all the waiting.

And so he took her on a little walk around the Memorial Chapel were the commencement ceremony was about to take place. People were everywhere, students – graduates – welcoming their families and friends, taking photos in their black gowns and caps, adorned by the hood in the colours of their department (white velvet for Masters of Arts and golden velvet for Masters of Science), stoles of gratitude in the typical red satin colour for the students of this university, some of them with personalized additional stoles to make a statement about the pride of their identity and the tassels with official medallions.

Tali then proceeded to play an imprisoned princess in the middle of the labyrinth while her chivalrous father, the mighty knight from House DiNozzo, fought all the evil monsters and overcame every danger to free his daughter. However, Tali had the habit to cheer him on quite loudly and he didn't intend to disturb anyone's commencement day by her incessant shouts despite advising her to lower her voice, not following the lines of the labyrinth but simply crossing them to get into the middle as fast as he could.

"I did step on them, didn't I?" He confessed guiltily, stroking her tiny back as he adjusted his hold on her in his arms. "But I had to hurry to save my princess. I would be _really_ sad if anything happened to her."

Tali kicked with her legs in the air for a moment, smiling in her typical angelic way. "Well, Mom says that..." She paused, chewing on her lips as she contemplated whether to share with him what Ziva had told her numerous times.

"What does Mom say?" Tony inquired curiously, momentarily holding her in one of his arms as he removed a few strands of her gorgeous chestnut hair out of her face.

His baby girl leaned in to his ear, leaning against his shoulder. "That you are the best rescuer in the world." She whispered as loud as she can, pride lacing the tone of her voice.

Tony laughed softly in response, kissing Tali's cheek and head while he rocked her in his arms. "Mom really said that, hm?" He asked her to assure himself about truthfulness of the statement. His daughter was finally getting out of the phase of innocent children lies but one could never be sure.

She nodded her head vigorously and then immediately put a finger over her mouth and tiny nose. "But ssshhhh. I promised I won't tell." She added and shook her head in denial.

"Oh don't worry, sweetheart. I won't tell her." He smiled at her but secretly wondered what else Ziva could tell about him to their children. He was actually doing the same, telling them the stories about the bravest person he had ever met, the fearless ninja warrior. But Ziva did know about it, although she rather wished not to be present during those because he used to overact a lot. "It's going to be _our_ secret."

Tali clapped with her hands to demonstrate her elation as Tony turned around when his eyes caught a familiar figure. "Oh, excuse me... Claire right?" He called out at the female passing by near them.

"Yes! Hello, Mr. DiNozzo." The young woman greeted him and waved at Tali who she had seen on numerous of occasions. "Hello, Tali."

"Hello." Tali waved back at her and Claire couldn't help but 'awwww' at her.

"Have you seen Ziva?" Tony asked her, once more adjusting his daughter in his arms.

He was a little worried. Not much but still. She had some secret appointment she hadn't shared with him in full detail in the early morning at the university and when their whole cavalry arrived, she had warmly welcomed them but he could sense the growing tension inside her. While invisible to the others, he could read her body language too well and knew that something big either happened or was about to happen – and it had nothing to do with the commencement.

After several photography sessions, she had retreated to fulfil her graduate duties but considering all the commotion around, he suspected that it was just an excuse for her to hide in solitude and sort out her thoughts. His walk with Tali had also served as a hunt for a familiar face he could ask about her whereabouts because someone simply _had to_ see her.

"Yeah, I met her about ten minutes ago, she headed for Francis Scott Key building." Claire answered and smiled, waving once more before continuing in her previous direction after Tony thanked her.

"Okay sweetie," Tony put Tali back on the ground and looked around himself until he spotted Abby with Burt standing not far away from them, "Daddy has to find and talk to Mommy."

With a couple of gestures, he gained Abby's attention and arranged a plan with her. "Do you see aunt Abby and uncle Burt right there?" He asked her, kneeling next to her to be at the level of her height. Tali nodded, swaying on her feet playfully. "Will you a big girl and go to her on your own?"

His baby girl nodded furiously, glad that she could prove what a big girl she was, accepting the sunglasses from her daddy and putting them on. Then she placed her fingers to imitate a gun and winked conspiratorially on her plush teddy bear and sauntered 'inconspicuously' towards aunt Abby. Tony kept watching his little ninja until she was safely in the arms of a person he trusted and then set out to find his wife.

Luckily, it wasn't far. He only had to cross the parking lot, currently completely overloaded with cars and people, and a street to get to the Francis Scott Key building that housed primarily the Department of History and was named after Maryland-born American lawyer, famous for writing the lyrics for the American national anthem _The Star-Spangled Banner._

He let out a sigh of relief when he saw her sitting on the low wall next to the main building, fencing the parking lot for the faculty staff and staff of the university with a view through the lines of trees into McKeldin Mall, the centre point of the whole campus, named in the honour of Theodore Roosevelt McKeldin, one of the Governors of Maryland. She was actually chatting with some of her classmates, laughing joyously at something.

Standing aside in order not to disturb because he didn't want to eavesdrop, he managed to make an eye contact with one of the classmates who was standing and thus, facing him. And it seemed that the young woman understood his silent plea, faking a message from her family and promptly leaving with her other friend, leaving Ziva alone on the wall as she didn't seem to have any desire to abandon her current place.

Tony sent both ladies a grateful smile that turned into a self-satisfied smirk as both women giggled all the way, their cheeks turning red. Well, look at that – even with increasing years and being married father of two children, he could still make his female counterparts weak in their knees only with his smile. Not that he needed to flirt with anyone else but it did stroke his ego in the right way.

Then he approached his wife, making enough noise to notify her about his closeness because sneaking up on her wasn't a good idea. That woman still did have certain ninja instincts and he could still remember the last time he had tried to shout boo at her. His shin remembered that as well, suddenly spreading pain through his leg as if she had kicked him once more.

"Hello, my lovely graduate." He greeted her, throwing his legs across the low wall to sit next to her, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

She smiled knowingly as if she had known that he would have come to find her, leaning against his shoulder comfortably. "Hey." She greeted him back and her eyes closed when he kissed the top of her head, adjusting her hair so the personalized stole in Israeli design could be visible on her black gown she was wearing.

"Contemplating the meaning of life, are we?" He asked her after a moment of silence when they just revelled in the near company of one another.

She laughed softly, her chest relaxing with the deep sigh she let out. "Something like that, yeah." She confirmed with a dreamy smile, loving the shivers surging down her spine as he lightly raked her hair while feeling pleasantly warm as the black cloth of her gown absorbed the sunrays. "I mean, I really _did_ it. I _graduated_."

What started as a journey to find her identity within humankind had turned into a full historical study course. While she had started this voyage all by herself without anyone's help, she had taken on many fellow-passengers as the time passed. And thanks to that, she wasn't about to run through the finish tape alone but with her friends and family in tow, cheering her on.

"And we are all immensely proud of you." He whispered to her in an emotional tone, tightening his arms around her in a firm hug.

They stayed wrap up in each other for a long moment as if some invisible channel was between them, operating on a frequency known only to them. No words or gestures were needed, only the close proximity and unwitting caresses were enough to draw and take, give and provide the comfort they needed from the fountain of their mutual love. It was a beautiful moment of peace of two people realizing how far they had travelled.

"I am actually glad you came to find me." Ziva uttered after a while, toying with her wedding band as she turned it around her finger. "There is something I need to tell you."

It was his expectation so he remained calm without any harder effort. "I'm all ears." He assured her and assumed an attentive posture with exaggerated pensive expression she didn't mind whatsoever.

"It is about the appointment I had earlier this morning." She clarified although Tony didn't bat an eyelid. It seemed that the man knew simply everything about her, anticipating her future steps. "I was offered a job here, at the university, in The Gildenhorn Institute for Israel Studies."

Neither that came as a surprise to her husband because she had been active within the institute already as a student. After all, this particular institute had a very close relationship with University in Haifa she had come originally from. It seemed pretty logical to Tony that they would want her to work for them, considering all the cooperation during the studies.

She then explained further the job offer that included mainly administrative work in the institute with the opportunities to expand her knowledge by participating on various conferences, researches, taking care of official visitors with chances to travel the world as part of the local scientific team, but mainly and naturally Israel. Her contacts in her homeland were already a great bonus for the institute and they wished expand them with her help.

"That's absolutely fabulous!" Tony exclaimed in joy, his face lightening up the more she talked about the job offer. "Does that research with the scientific team include some excavations? So you could be something like female Indiana Jones? Ta-ta-da-da, ta-da-da, ta-ta-da, ta-ta-da-da..."

She burst out laughing when she heard him to sing the melody from Indiana Jones movies, relieved that his reception was so positive. Not that she was afraid to share it with him or thought that he would be negative but she would understand if he had any reservations. He did suffer whenever she had gone to visit Israel alone in the past and recent trips to her homeland were in his company.

"This is not a movie, Tony." She hiccupped between the laughter, smacking his shoulder playfully for teasing her. "And I'm not an archaeologist. But I can buy a whip, if you want."

He covered the place on his chest where his heart was with a hand. "Oh please, do." He teased her further because he loved to see her smile, especially if that smile had a lot to do with him.

Instead of punishing him with another smack, she beckoned him with her finger, licking her lips seductively. He immediately yielded and accepted the offered sweet kiss with pleasure, despite getting mildly slapped on his head. Unlike Gibbs, she always did her best to soothe his pain with her kisses, caresses and just being with him, making him the happiest man under the sun and stars.

"So, do you think I should take it?" She asked him, adjusting the collar and the tie around his neck that got dishevelled due to his plays with Tali.

He was obviously taken aback by the question, his eyes studying her unbelievingly. "Why do you ask me, honey? You don't need my permission." He assured her, absolutely shocked that she hadn't accepted the job offer yet, apparently deeming it so serious that she needed to talk about it with him first.

There was a fragment of guilt he had seen multiple times in her eyes as she lowered them in shame. "I know I do not need your permission. I just..." She paused for a moment, failing in the effort to hide the red shade of her cheeks. "I just want to know what you think."

 _Ah, so maybe it wasn't about giving her permission but about her own insecurities._ In moments like these, she sought validation because she couldn't find it in herself. While it could seem pathetic for a person who was otherwise independent, strong-willed and smart, he did understand where it was coming from because he was no different. There was some deeply rooted fear and she had only asked of him to help her deal with it.

With soft gentleness, he took her right hand and for a moment rubbed her palm with his thumb while holding her intense gaze. Then, he ran the thumb across her fingers, eventually closing them into a loose fist. Turning her hand around, he brought it to his lips to kiss her knuckles while peering at her through his eyelashes. He knew how these little, romantic gestures worked on her and he could that she relaxed a bit.

"As your loving husband, your former co-worker, your eternal friend and a loyal person who admires you every single day I think that _yes_ , you should take it." He persuaded her about her own abilities and worthiness with undying affection in his eyes. "No one's perfect from the start and you probably won't be any exception. But I know it won't stop you and eventually, you'll become one of the greatest assets of the institute, if not of the whole university."

If it hadn't been extremely inappropriate, she would have jumped his bones right there and now but one had to keep some manners. She had never needed some good luck charms or quotes to live by because the man in front of her sufficed for all fortune bringers in the world. He was the magic formula that had freed her from the dark curse she had often inflicted upon herself.

But there was still one shadow of a doubt that needed to dispersed, one she secretly dreaded from the very first moment her life had turned into a happiness-filled fairy tale. "But what if..." She protested with a frown that spoiled her gorgeous face with wrinkles of worry.

"No no, uh-uh, listen to me now." Tony intercepted quickly because he did guess where her thoughts headed and he knew he couldn't treat it lightly because her doubts had a basis. Working for such institute meant occasionally clashing with the world she had used to be part of and while they had been living peacefully for years, one should know that the enemy never sleeps.

"It's time for you to finally let it go and forge a new past, sweetheart. Only then you can become what you are meant to be." He explained to her for probably a hundredth time but if she needed to hear it, so be it. "I know your concerns are justified but remember that you're about to become a huntress. Your past will haunt you no more. Instead, you will hunt for other people's past."

When she heard the word 'huntress', she immediately pictured herself as the night elf warrior with a glaive, riding a feral nightsaber panther from the game McGee played so fiercely, World of Warcraft*1, and she couldn't bite back the laughter. It was that kind of relief she need and in combination with Tony's assurance, it worked miracles with her confidence and she felt the firm ground beneath her feet once more.

But when he joined her laughter, toying with a strand of her hair before lovingly tucking it behind her ear, emotions started flooding her with the intensity of a waterfall. Memories flashed through her mind, memories she loved to recall with pleasant tingling all over her body. She learnt not to dwell on the past that much but it didn't mean that reminiscing about the nice things in her life was bad.

She thought back to all those moments he had held her hand to be the support she needed, the barely noticeable caresses that provided her with incredible happiness and warmth, the sweet words he used to whisper in her ear to invigorate her passion, the intuitive selflessness with which he adapted to her lifestyle and never demanded of her to change herself or held against her the dreams and goals she had set.

It made her incredibly emotional and through the laughter, hot tears began to form in the corners of her eyes and there was nothing in her powers she could do to stop them. He didn't question it, only pressed his thumb on her cheek to catch the salty droplets. "Forgive me." She apologized for her effusion of feelings that certainly wasn't the last one that day.

"For what?" He asked her softly, having no objects over any displays of her feelings. Contrarily, he didn't like when she suffocated herself with the pent-up emotions. It was a path to the personal hell she wanted to be free of.

With his question, she realized that her apology reached further to their past than she had intended. "For being so stupid and foolish all those years ago. So much pain could have been avoided." She admitted regretfully, shaking her head at her own actions.

Sure, it was easy to be wise after the event but it didn't justify her obstinate stubbornness with which she had defended herself against the growing feelings for Tony. She had used Rule 12 and other so-called obstacles to avoid them in order to save herself the incorrectly assumed heartbreak. She couldn't have been further from the truth and the present days taught her that.

Silencing his attempt to object with the way she looked up at him ardently, she pressed her graceful hands on his cheeks, searching his eyes for an endless minute with a soft smile on her lips. "I do not know where I would be without you. But I am certain that my happiness would have been false because only you can make me the happiest person in the world." She confessed sincerely, rewarding his attention, his tolerance and his devotion with a kiss that could make the Earth move.

And even if it didn't, it moved with his world like a strong earthquake. His love for her supplemented the fresh air in his lungs and her love for him spread through his body like a wildfire through parched ground. His thirst was quenched by drinking the sweet nectar from her lips and his hunger was sated by tasting her unique flavour he had fallen for such a long time ago.

"Likewise." He whispered thickly when they parted, leaning his forehead against hers to deepen the moment of intimacy between them.

It was interrupted by a text message Ziva received from one of her classmates, urging her to show up as soon as she could because the commencement was about to begin soon. Hand in hand and in comfortable silence, they set off on their way back to the Memorial Chapel, strolling through the campus through the same path Tony had taken to get there.

There, on the Chapel Lawn, they met their family and friends, paying a special attention to their children – their daughter Tali and their son Timmy. Both kids received a loving kiss from their mother before she thanked everyone for their wishes of luck and retreated to the group of graduates where she belonged, her black gown flying around her feet as she walked.

Tony let Senior to take care of Tali, lifting his three-year old in the air play with him for a moment until the doors to the chapel were opened and the relatives of the graduates could assume their seats inside. Together, they had taken quite a few first-rate photos with them pulling various faces and even recording a daddy/son video message to express their delight over Mom's achievements.

"They opened the door, we should go inside." Terri commented as she approached him, reaching for Timmy in his arms and before he could do anything, she took his son into her arms and then moved him to David's embrace.

"The camera." She beckoned with her fingers resolutely while she made gesture with her other free hand to assure everyone else from their not-so-little party that they were on their way in a second.

Tony was used to the straightforward and sometimes commanding nature of his and Ziva's friend but his lack of understanding at the moment was more than visible. "Hold on, I am a big boy. I can take care of my kid and take good photos, as well. There's no need to help me." He attempted to protest only to make Terri snort in return.

"No, you can't. You should be sitting on your ass in the chapel and just watch her." Terri dismissed his objection and extended her open palm to give him a clear signal that she wasn't about to leave without the camera in her hands. "This is _her_ moment, Tony, and yours, as well. Do you understand what I mean?"

He stared at her for a long moment and then his eyes started to water with thankfulness and pride. Terri was right, in a way it was _their_ moment. In the case of many students, the endless support through their studies was coming from their families, both biological and adoptive or surrogate, mainly parents or (and) friends. There were also several admirable individuals who had managed to graduate with flying colours without any substantial assistance.

All of these people were now rewarded during the commencement ceremony by watching their graduate to be referred with their degrees, filling them with incredible pride and happiness. It was the emotional moment for all mentioned sides as the words of thanks couldn't ever describe the gratefulness over the provided support in whatever form it had transpired.

And while Ziva's surrogate parents did their best, as well as her loyal friends, it was predominantly Tony's merit that she had had the support she needed. He had encouraged her in her academic life, just as in her extracurricular activities. He had never omitted to attend an event she had directly participated in and if he hadn't been able to do so, he had always made up for it without a reminder.

He had stayed up late with her countless times to study with her, boning up all the required knowledge before exams. He had read every single paper she had turned in, being remorselessly critical without an evil intent just because she had asked him so. Whenever she had been stressed, he had massaged her feet and shoulders, cooked a hearty tasteful meal for her, bought her a box of chocolate or acquired to her whatever her cravings dictated.

Even if it hadn't been enough, he had never yelled at her to pursue a foolish and useless argument with her, no matter how much he had been driven mad with his own problems. Instead, he had soothed her nerves with well-aimed words and caresses, making the tears in her eyes to vanish. He had helped her to develop certain study routine to make things smoother and favourable to everyone in their household.

Speaking of their household, he hadn't minded to take over the role of the head of the family, dutifully ruling it. He had babysat whenever it had been needed and if he hadn't been available, he had always found another trustworthy babysitter to do so. To put it simply, he was an absolutely copybook example of a perfect husband and father, rendering Ziva speechless multiple times.

Maybe he would have broken under the weight of all those duties because he had also commanded his own team, albeit in much safer and calmer fashion than previously as part of Gibbs' team. But she was an absolutely copybook example of a perfect wife and mother who equally understood _his_ needs and had never forgotten to reward him for his excellent support.

So yes, he did know what Terri meant by her well-intentioned orders to hand his kid and camera in so he could just savour the moment because the commencement ceremony was a reward for both him and Ziva. "Yeah, I do. Thanks." He expressed his gratitude because without her, he would have probably never realized how important for him was to just watch Ziva without constantly taking pictures and babysitting his son.

Terri patted his shoulder with a smile after he surrendered the camera. "Take it as training for the moment your kids will graduate." She winked at him, dragging him behind her into the Memorial Chapel.

The individual ceremony for the Department of History was much more intimate and private than the pompous, yet amazing university-wide commencement the next day in Xfinity Center. Tony did enjoy both ceremonies equally because for him, it wasn't about the approach of either the faculty or the university as a whole but it was about the graduate in question – and that was his wife.

The smaller ceremony began with the speaker coming to the stage to welcome the families and friends of the graduates, bringing their attention to the exits in the case of emergency and then asking them to rise and keep standing until all the members of the platform and graduate candidates arrive and take their seats. It showed the respect towards the academic values.

Then he announced the arrival of the graduating class of year 2022 and their college department, commencing the processional with a music accompaniment. A flag bearer with the official flag of Department of History walked in first from the ambulatory, followed by the platform party consisting of the teachers, department members and also one of the graduates who was about to give a speech to their fellow students. All of them were dressed in their required gowns.

Those were just behind them, walking the two aisles between the three rows of pews one by one until they reached the front seats that were reserved for them. The platform party assumed their position 'on the stage' or in this case in the chancel terminated by an apse as they were in the chapel, the altar replaced by a crimson satin curtain. While the chapel was a place of worship, it was interdenominational so none of the religious directions could be superior to the other.

After the last of the graduate candidates found their place on the pews, the speaker invited them, their families and friends and the platform party to sit down. The music also stopped and except fo some incomprehensible murmur, the chapel fell silent. Then the speaker introduced the person who was about to preside over the whole commencement, Bonnie Thornton Dill*2, the Dean of the College of Arts and Humanities.

She welcomed everyone in the chapel, informed them about the today's agenda and the significance of it and went on to introduce the individual members of the platform from associate deans and professors, to various directors and professors, as well as the student speaker for this commencement ceremony and the chair of the Department of History.

The last one was granted a word afterwards, delivering an inspirational and kind speech to his students who reciprocated their gratefulness with applause. Afterwards, the most important part of the ceremony began – the conferring of the degrees. The directors of the respective study programs asked the candidates for degree to rise in groups according to the importance of their degree – doctoral degrees first, master degrees second and bachelor degrees the third.

Then they asked the Dean to recognize those candidates who had successfully completed all requirements for the respective degrees, in Ziva's case the degree of Master of Arts, and the Dean accepted those recommendations and recognized the degrees for the students. The speaker then asked the candidates to approach the platform so they could be individually recognized.

Alphabetically lined up, the candidates shook their hands and hand over a name card to the director of their program who announced their name aloud. Then they walked across the stage to the Dean who shook their hands in congratulations and presented them a white envelope with their name on it. Inside was lithography, a decorative print specially designed by the university for the particular academic year at the commencement ceremony as diplomas were mailed some time after the ceremony itself. Then the students paused for a picture with the Dean whilst shaking hands and walked off the stage to give space to another candidate and let them to have their own spotlight.

As the now rewarded graduates returned to their seats, they move their tassels on the cap from the right front side to the left front side to indicate their newly acquired degree. After all the degrees were referred, the Dean introduced the student speaker all the candidates had agreed on in a vote so she could deliver her graduation speech full of essential, yet subtle student humour.

The ceremony then continued with the individual awards for personal outstanding achievements of the students to recognize their exceptional passion for their studies. In closing, the Dean expressed the warmest of congratulations both to the graduates and their families, the sincerest hope that they would always consider the university as their home and gifting them with several more words of advice and wishes to their future personal lives and careers.

She concluded her speech with an invitation to the reception organized in the honour of the new graduates, receiving a round of applause directed both at her presentation, as well as the students. The speaker asked everyone afterwards to rise and keep standing during the recessional as the platform party left the Memorial Chapel first, followed by the awarded graduates.

Despite being nervous, Ziva managed to go through the ceremony without a single stumble, her eyes watering multiple times. Her knees were wobbly when her name was called but she held her head high and took her diploma with dignity, stifling a sob when she hear the distinct shouts 'mama' from her children. As she walked back to her seat, her eyes locked with Tony's for a moment and she held his gaze during the switch of the tassel on her cap.

Outside, she initiated a warm group hug with everyone to thank them for their endless and amazing support through all those years. They had never let her down and never accepted her thoughts to quit the studies, always finding a way to provide her with all the necessary help. They had wanted her to succeed and thanks to them she had. Fully aware of that fact, she couldn't ever thank them enough.

Rest of the memorable day passed in a good mood filled with several photo shoots of serious and silly nature all over the campus with her friends, her family and of course, her schoolmates. They also attended the reception where they had the chance to meet and chat with the people from the faculty, making Tony even prouder to see what kind of impact Ziva had on some of the staff.

Her future colleagues – well, potential future colleagues since she hadn't confirmed her acceptance of the job yet for understandable reasons – were also there and he had a wonderful discussion with them. It definitely reinforced his belief that the job was the right one for his lovely wife, combining together all her interests and her roots into a perfect and entertaining package. He had the privilege to enjoy his work because he genuinely loved it and he naturally wanted the same thing for Ziva.

When the reception ended, their large entourage went for a walk and headed for a restaurant where they ate a light dinner and Ziva received numerous gifts as congratulations to her graduation. Kids were exhausted by that time they returned home, immediately nodding off and barely staying awake during their evening routine. And since another big day was ahead of them, Tony and Ziva went to sleep quite early, as well.

The next day was reserved for the university-wide commencement in the Xfinity Center in the campus of University of Maryland. The participation wasn't obligatory but Ziva didn't want to miss the last few minutes of her student's life so not going there was out of the question. Unfortunately, the number of people she could invite was limited unlike with the college commencement so she had to choose only four people.

Tony, Tim and Terri were clear candidates for her but she hesitated between Abby and Gibbs. Both equally deserved to be there but she also refused to replace anyone from the secure trio just to have them both. Eventually, she invited Abby who would probably enjoy the whole ceremony more than Gibbs who had never been fond of such formal processions.

And it proved to be a good guess because her former boss thanked her for sparing him the boredom which didn't mean he didn't appreciate her achievements at all. His pride couldn't be bigger than it already was. But instead, he offered to babysit the two little rascals for them, carrying out his duty as a grandfather which was a role he felt more comfortable with.

And so it was those four who assumed their seats on the stands to observe the over two hours lasting university-wide commencement ceremony to enjoy the last few moments of Ziva as a student. It began with a speaker announcing the arrival of the flag bearer and student's speaker in one person who led the preliminary procession as the orchestra started to play procession music.

Other flag bearers of their respective colleges and schools followed as their names were announced, each bringing along their fellow graduates belonging to the presented college or school. Ziva took her time to look up on the stands to wave at her husband and friends to help them find her in the crowd. After all the students assumed their seats, the flag bearers brought the flags on the stage and joined the others.

The faculties and their staff came forward afterwards, followed by the platform party including mace bearer and the president of the university as the students stood up to honour them, watching them to climb the stage up. After that, the traditional presentation of colours occurred with the national anthem of the United States being sung subsequently.

Several speeches from the university staff, including the president were given, as well as the student's speaker and invited guest who was awarded with an honorary degree. Then, the individual colleges and schools were presented by their deans until and provost stepped forward and in a similar fashion like on the college commencement, she asked the president of university to confer all the degrees she named.

The president happily agreed and recognized the candidates with a round of applause to congratulate all of them to their achievements, giving word to the president of alumni association to speak to the novices in their ranks. The student's speaker then asked for drum roll and instructed her fellow students to switch the tassel on their caps from right to left, officially turning all of them into graduates.

Afterwards, the students, their families and friends alike sang the words of 'Alma Mater' song with its lyrics specially adapted for the University of Maryland. The whole ceremony concluded with the last words from the president who wished the awarded graduates good luck in the future and expressed his wish for them to return back to the university whenever they needed it.

The recessional happened in the reversed order of the processional and in much more informal fashion as the graduates mingled, exchanging goodbyes and wishes among them, as well as with their former teachers. The atmosphere was pleasantly friendly and even the families and friends weren't shy to start chatting with someone they had never seen. After all, they all had something in common – pride for _their_ graduate.

Many tears, happy tears, flowed that day, providing Ziva with one of the most unforgettable days of her life. As a little girl, she had never dreamt about becoming Master of Arts but since her academic journey had started a couple of years ago, it had become one of her life goals. She didn't want to prove anything to anyone, just herself to show that her decision to explore her roots and history in general was the right one.

Leaving the university as a freshly awarded graduate, a wife and a mother was beyond her dreams. Going back to the university as its alumni _and_ employee was even more incredible. Finally, she felt as if she found her place in this world. Not that she didn't feel similar way ever before but now, she felt _complete_. And only after experiencing such a feeling of completeness, she realized how wrong she was about some of her life choices.

Thankfully, her decision to leave Israel, return to the US with Tony and apply for University of Maryland had proved as one of the best life choices she had ever made. It would have meant nothing without the whole journey, though, both the one that had preceded and that had followed. In her case the proverb 'Every cloud has a silver lining' definitely worked.

She had managed to overturn the misfortune culminating with her father's death into her strength. With her closest family dismantled, she was broken, abysmally damaged but she still had the will to live and was in dire need of a fresh start. Although it meant leaving even more people she loved behind, she had made use of that opportunity to start anew with clean a slate.

While the departure had hurt both her and the ones she was forced to abandon, she was eventually rewarded for her bravery and determination. They weren't dead, they were still there and the Fate weaved their paths in diverse directions only to reunite them in the most unexpected way. Thanks to that, her fresh start was enhanced to an absolute peak of happiness she was eternally grateful for.

* * *

No longer hearing Ziva talking on the phone as she ended the call and went inside the yacht's lounge, Tony bent down to the fridge bar take out the bottle of champagne and a box of strawberries. Halving the fruit with a knife, he retrieved two champagne flutes from a compartment that was part of the yacht's bar on its roof and set them on the counter.

With a contended sigh, he approached the control panel at the front to slow down the speed of the ship, mostly letting the natural stream of the Anacostia River carry the ship away as it pleased. After the emotional, yet exhausting two-day long commencement ceremony, their family took a shelter on the yacht previously belonging to Eli David and stationed in Jaffa Port in Israel, now known under the name _Talia & Timmy _after both their children.

They sailed from Ballpark Boathouse in the vicinity of the Navy Yard, actually passing it at the moment. The sun was setting but the air was still warm with a soft breeze cooling down the heated skin. Their plans were simple – enjoy some quality time as a family, relax and shake off the stress of the last few days. They planned to spend weekend sailing back and forth the Anacostia and Potomac rivers around D.C. without stepping a foot on solid ground unless needed.

The children had their own room below but still nearby enough to check up on them if needed. When on deck, neither of the parents dare to lose a sight of them just in case they would have the brilliant idea of jumping into water or something. Fortunately, both kids were quite reasonable and well-behaved, albeit having their moments of crying fits and disobedience.

But in every sense, it was the best idea for a vacation they had in a long time. It was actually the first time they were able to use the yacht in such a scope since it had been shipped from the Israel years ago. Before that, they had spent only a couple of hours sailing on it on weekends or it served as one of the refuges for Ziva's studying, as well as their mutual intimate sanctuary.

Tony listened attentively to the remote city sounds mixed with the sounds of other boats and people sailing on them, as well as the beautiful and calming sound of rippled water, breathing in the familiar smell. There was something absolutely unique on watching the city slowly burying itself in the dark and replacing the natural light for artificial one from the middle of a river.

Then he returned to the bar, grabbing the champagne bottle so he could remove the golden foil wrapped around the top and the neck. Twisting the wire of the wire cage that hold the cork down, he discarded it and took a white napkin to cover the cork in case of any leak during the opening. It took a couple of twists of the bottle and tilts of the cork to hear the familiar pop sound that signed that the bottle was opened.

Like a seasoned waiter, he tipped the glass and slowly poured the champagne down the side until it was half full and all the foam was gone. Afterwards, he threw two halves of the cut strawberry and adorned the edge of the glass with one slice, as well. By that moment, he heard Ziva leaving the lounge and climbing the stairs up to the roof of the yacht to join him for a little celebratory nightcap.

She stretched her body and yawned slightly, extending her hand to accept the offered glass of champagne, inhaling its wondrous scent. "Hm, champagne with strawberries." She hummed in delight, planting a sweet peck on his lips. "You are spoiling me."

"That is what husbands are for." He flashed his branded smile, watching with content as she danced across the roof, shielding her view against the setting sun with a serene sigh.

Then she sat down on the chaise lounges at the back and patted the vacant place next to her, hinting to him that she wanted him to join her. He took his own flute and did as she requested, assuming his cross-legged position opposite of her. Her eyes shone brightly, mirroring the harmonious smile and for a moment, he was mesmerized by the captivating gleam of her curly hair as the last sunrays caressed her locks.

Lifting her glass festively to propose a toast, she looked deeply into his eyes, drowning willingly for a while in the emerald sea of his gaze. "To my sympathetic, patient, loving and simply perfect husband." She said and tilted her flute in anticipation of the clink.

He smiled softly and gladly mimicked her movement of the glass. "To my tenacious, hard-working, passionate and simply terrific wife." He complimented her equally and the glasses touched each other before they both took a sip of the sweet sparkling wine.

The taste lingered on their tongues when they simultaneously leaned in for a kiss, boosting their respective usual flavour. As if they had all the time in the world, the kiss was slow, thorough and deep, but still fervent and fierce as ever. Being together alone at last, albeit just for a short while, made them drop the hurry and just peacefully enjoy every single millisecond of it.

When they parted, Ziva took another sip and lay down to face the darkening sky, nibbling the strawberry between her teeth. Her body hummed in appreciation of the rest as the tsunamis of stress finally faded away and she felt calm again. She found it incredibly peaceful just to sail on the water and be with the ones she loved. Maybe happy endings did apply to her, after all.

Tony stood up to check the controls of the ship but the autopilot was quite intuitive and the course was set in order to sail through the determined corridor, alarming them about approaching danger ahead of time so there were no worries in this regard. "How are the kids?" He asked his wife because he realized that she went to check up on them after ending the call. He had done the same before going to the roof.

"Sleeping like two logs." She replied, unabashedly admiring the view in front of her as he stood by the control panel in white trousers and T-shirt. The man was born to look dashing in any colour but white seemed to ginger up his innocent look that made her to try and lure him to the darkness. "Which is a wonder, considering the bedtimes stories you are telling them."

Tony chuckled and turned around with crossed arms. "Tales of ninja warrior princess and special agent prince are completely harmless." He objected, having fun with his own made-up stories based on their life together.

It was like telling their children how mommy and daddy had gotten together, only in abridged, fairy-tale-like manner with all the 'once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, a young prince chanced the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert, travelling for many days and nights, risking life and limbs to find his beloved who believed to be cursed, breaking his heart to pieces' and 'the princess refused to give up, climbing the highest room of the tallest tower to enter the chambers of an evil witch, kicking her... butt like a true ninja warrior she was, breaking the curse once and for all' to 'and they lived happily ever after' stuff.

The kids loved it and although he could see that his wife rolled her eyes at his versions from time to time, like turning her father Eli into the king of a realm, his father into a roving merchant and Gibbs into a valiant knight, she did enjoy his narration just as much. It was indeed harmless and it kept the children on the edge of their seats so they would find out whether the ninja warrior princess and special agent prince would end up together like they always did.

"And how did the phone call go?" He asked curiously, mirroring her position on the chaise lounge with the flute in his hand.

She bent her knees and threw one leg over the other to make herself more comfortable. "It went well. I am supposed to stop by next week to sign some papers and I officially start in the second half of June." She told him with almost eager gleam in her eyes. She hadn't been so excited over a job in... well, years.

"Tell me more." He invited her, turning on his side to be an attentive listener she needed.

She took a deep breath and talked for long minutes about her excitement, her fears coming with it but also her confidence, what she was looking forward to and how she was completely and absolutely grateful for such opportunity. They conversed like that for the rest of the evening until a late night, sharing opinions and creating a schedule for their family life since their baby girl was about to start attending school soon.

As the sun disappeared behind the horizon, the air grew colder and so they eventually ended up snuggling together beneath a warm blanket under the starry sky – at least as far as light pollution allowed seeing stars. There was little need to talk some more in certain moments and so they just cuddled up, sharing an affectionate kiss here and then, whispering loving and meaningful words to each other.

"I love you so much, Tony." She confessed heatedly after one especially passionate kiss, running her fingers across his face to feel his beautiful face beneath her touch. Even with the darkness all around, she saw him clearly as during the day.

He ran his thumb over her swollen bottom lip, nudging her nose with his. "And I love you, Ziva. So," he replied in a thick, emotional tone, accentuating each word with sweet kisses one every part of her delicious mouth, "and very much."

_**The End of Chapter 44** _

_**THE END** _

* * *

*1 Okay so I'm not going to explain what World of Warcraft is – gamers should know and non-gamers aren't interested anyway. Either way, considering that the thing with the huntress is inspired by a certain dialogue from the game itself (hello, Illidan and Maiev), I inserted night elves too, although I did, in fact, burnt their precious tree (yes, I am a proud Forsaken _and_ a Sylvanas loyalist).

*2 Bonnie Thornton Dill (born 1944) is a real person and the actual Dean of the College of Arts and Humanities at the University of Maryland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here it is. Yet another version of TIVA happy ending that we can all agree they deserve. I planned this one from the very start so it feels rewarding to finally write it in words.
> 
> As for the future, I can't tell at the moment when I will publish a new story. So many things happened over the last few years I was writing Christmas Meeting and so many things changed for me and I learnt that writing an ongoing long story isn't for me anymore. I am not changing my writing style, though, I am still long-chapter kind of person than short ones but that also takes quite a toll and I am not able to deliver the amount of words so quickly. One of the things I have realized is that I want to do regular updates but it's no longer possible for me to keep up with the words demand. And so, my next story will be published when it's finished or nearly finished so I could provide regular updates within a few weeks from each other instead of months.
> 
> And also, to be honest with you all, Ziva's return in Season 17 irrevocably damaged me. I still love TIVA immensely much, I can never get tired of writing them (though do not expect of me to ever incorporate anything from Season 17, I have happily deleted it from my mind, together with Season 13 and I do recognize everything up to the end of Season 10) but I would lie if I said that the utter disappointment over the plotline didn't affect me because it damn did despite keeping the lowest expectations possible. I also feel that most of the fandom kind of feels the same way – I don't want to speak for anyone, I know quite a dedicated group of people who emerged to my attention mostly after this occurred but we all have to admit that the fandom isn't what it was used to be and the show definitely does have a hand in it. Some of us have moved on and some of us keep returning from time to time but we dedicate our focus on something entirely different.
> 
> The latter happened to me and so my Reylo (Star Wars) fic I am writing now which is a rewrite of Episode IX to make it more sense took precedence over the unfinished TIVA fic I have started to write on the side some time ago. So there is a fic I am working on but sporadically and I have no timeframe for finishing it. Actually, after YEARS of dutifully writing whenever I could, I now feel free of the obligation to deliver updates at least once a month, I don't have to rush and I can dedicate my free time to different things, too. Because while it may seem that I am predominantly a fanfic author, I can honestly proclaim that I am a gamer first and author second and when I want to play a video game, I close everything and immerse myself into whatever game I feel like playing. Especially now when I don't feel guilty for spending my free time in all those beautiful fantasy worlds of World of Warcraft or The Witcher 3 instead of writing and with all the upcoming games like Cyberpunk 2077, Mafia: Definitive Edition and Assassin's Creed: Valhalla.
> 
> Writing is a creative process that requires patience and time and the older I am, also the right conditions that don't include only peace, good music and the inspiration but also good sleep, corresponding mental condition, done household duties and many other little details I won't bother you with. What I want to say is that lately, I often resort to self-care because writing became sort of a chore for me and I would like to change that for the future. It should be a lovely hobby, not a work that needs to be done. It's something I imposed on myself, so it's entirely my mistake and that's why I am taking the step away for a while and plan to appear when the right time comes.
> 
> Either way, my words from the above stand. I thank all of you who have ever came in to read the story for your attention (even those who yelled at me for taking so much time between the updates, you made me realize that I have to change my approach) and I hope to see you in the future, whenever it will be. My PMs are always open so if you ever feel the need to connect, you can slip a message to me.
> 
> Have a great week, summer holidays and keep taking care of yourself. Love you all and thank you once again. Bye!


End file.
